Dumbest Ways People ALMOST Died

what's the dumbest way you almost died [Music] hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while i was operating it shirt tour but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it i crawled off in time before it came back around i was playing at some church camp as a teenager they had us running around in the dark well they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and i ran into it at neck height you know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down i'm pretty sure that happened to me i had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and i'm pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper i would have got the important arteries lola could be wrong though born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway it was so bad that i was turning purple from air loss by three months old but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump almost died to complete incompetence thankfully the people at children's were much more capable almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because i was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards don't run in abandoned buildings when i was 19 i ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat i started to choke i found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk my brother did the heimlich maneuver on me and the mango came out i laughed about it a minute later because imagine defeated by mango written as your reason for death using a pickaxe while tired was using the flat end to break up dirt it got stuck i yanked it causing my feet to slip on the dirt while i basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end my arm shot out and i landed in a push-up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest i called it a day after that i was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum i woke up covered in vomit all over my bed i had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep i was alone i could have choked on my spew and died i avoid drum now i felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away by the time i asked to go to the hospital i was in sepsis i was out of my head in pain couldn't eat high fever etc apparently i had about with diverticulitis i had no idea what that was mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane the perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity they didn't do surgery they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the death sludge from my body my kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down i'll never forget that pain for as long as i live i was on mega antibiotics and it saved my life even after leaving the hospital i was on antibiotics for another two weeks had this happened to me several years ago they would have had me in surgery and i would have had some of my colon removed and i would have had a colostomy bag colon coma but these days they hit you with tons of antibiotics and they've been having success i learned to never lay in bed for a week with pain like that never again there's enough space between cars i can turn left spoiler there wasn't played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out the next day my parents bought me floaties [Music] hypothermia kayaking through the drains under manchester wearing jeans and jumper using an inflatable kayak which burst in november after drinking a bottle of whiskey that's right up there near the top of the list i guess [Music] gf and i were hiking at 6am on a mountain trail we stopped to admire the sunrise over the mountains when things got a little intimate a jogger runs by which spooks both of us with my shorts around my ankles i slip and fall to the ground and come within inches of falling off of a 500 plus ft drop drunk swimming in the ocean i was a competitive swimmer in hs so i was pretty confident in my abilities around any body of water my dumb ass decide one day while drinking with friends at the beach that three beers and a couple of shots in was the perfect time to go for a swim in the ocean friend joined me while the rest stayed sunbathing and whatnot neither of us was third drunk but after a few minutes we were really far from shore and the current kept dragging us away from shore luckily the lifeguard spotted us and helped us back to the shore because while we weren't drowning we were getting really tired and further and further away boy did i learn to see is to be respected at all times oh i mean i kinda died fell out of a tree and broke my neck internal decapitation and full quadriplegic flatline twice good times tried working on a snowmobile and almost dropped the freaking thing on myself was a quality engineer in a motor assembly plant responsible for test cell work where engines are run for checkout at that time guys still wore ties i was facing a gigantic engine with whirling pull is in the front just happened to look down and saw my tie moving toward being sucked into a pulley and belt and jumped back had i been in half second later my head would be lying on the floor and my body would be in the process of being chopped in two pieces be careful around moving machinery folks anesthesia when i broke my leg at my friend's pool they needed to do surgery because the break was bad and i found out that day i'm allergic to it so walking on the outside of my friend's pool i almost died and it had nothing to do with drowning by choking while crossing a road buy a banana p land more when i was a young hippie i'm male i was working with a large commercial drill at my job and i got my long hair wound up in it and it sucked me in until it tore a large chunk of hair out along with some care is still thin in that area 50 years later during a trip to the shotgun range a clay pigeon flies low and away from the guy who is currently shooting the range safety officer says something to him and he turns to face him for whatever reason his shotgun goes the other way and is now pointed at my head with his finger on the trigger so freaking lucky it didn't fire i don't know if i could have died but i was really young and an adult sat on my back it was a ton of weight i was blacking out if i remember but fortunately they got off in time when i later asked them why they did it they just laughed and said i was being annoying back then by rolling up an entire airhead putting it in my mouth then promptly swallowing it and getting it lodged in my throat for too many minutes i was nearly impaled by a small eiffel tower despite knowing that it was too early in winter for the ice to be thick i decided to see if i could run across the frozen river one night i was aware enough of the risk that i took my coat off to reduce weight so so of course i broke through and of course the current was enough to take me downstream away from the hole i made all that was in my head was you are going to die for being freaking stupid ended up sort of swimming to tear bank and breaking out by crawling out found my coat snuck home because you don't want to explain the whole story to your parents was in a pool ring around my waist as a child and not well supervised while in a friend's pool one day flipped upside down and couldn't self right nearly drowned watch your freaking kids in the pool ffs not me but one summer i was a counselor at a summer camp the older campers would have to clean the canoes they used at the end of the week and a 13-year-old boy decided in a flash that it would be funny to put the power washer in his mouth and pull the trigger can't really blame him he was just a kid but he got knocked out cold and his mouth was fricked up i was on a machine that was breathing for me when i was a newborn baby the cleaning lady who came in and vacuumed the floors turned off all the switches when she'd finished including the ones keeping me alive luckily my parents were there and rang the emergency buzzer and the doctor's nurses came and switched me back on came home high when i was like 15 with mcdonald's had to stealthy make my way in the house and up to my room without waking up my dad decided to eat all my fries in my kitchen in one big gulp passed out and woke up on my kitchen floor i'm loving it dropped an attractive girl that i was very much into home after hanging out all night she invited me in saying i looked tired and that i should stay that night me an idiot said i was fine and proceeded to drive home falling asleep on the way and hitting a tree returning from a motorcycle trip right after the sunset on a rainy day there was a huge roadkill dog in front of me and i didn't have enough time to avoid it i aimed at the center of the dead animal and by luck i hit a very weak part of its spine not making the motorcycle wobble so much therefore not making me fall from the bike i'm pretty sure if i had crashed the truck right behind me would not have had time to avoid hitting me riding a motorcycle during the cold scandinavian autumn with pneumonia bad idea two weeks in hospital [Music] so i found out one day that cinnamon causes me to have migraines if i get migraines bad enough i need to go to the erbc i become a phasic well the reason i know all of this is i ate a cinnamon roll and passed out due to the following migraine and hit my head on a door frame think the stereotypical victorian faint head first into a solid door frame gave myself a severe concussion death by cinnamon roll is not how i want to go putting a handful of popcorn in my mouth and fake laughing literally almost died while my sister was sitting there laughing because she thought i was just joking i pulled a big brain move while flying one day and through my 1950 cessna into a flat spin at about three zero zero zero feet that is still one of my favorite dumbest play baddest save moments of all time jump through a glass door and the glass nearly cut my neck open huffed a bunch of air duster one night one bottle in like two hours the night before i snorted like a half gram of blow and was going hard i remember when i was huffing duster i heard people in my walls and was freaking out banging on them i was so worried my mom was gonna come in and see me spazzing out i distinctly remember waking up not knowing i had been asleep it was probably like a five minute nap but in the five minutes i created this weird alternate universe where there were two girls in my bed when i was awakened i had a chemical taste in my mouth and i started shaking i felt cloudy for about four months i started having mini seizures from hard drugs never again will i have duster i had kidney pain felt tired irregular heartbeat etc i felt like hammered dog poop for many months and i still have my days [Music] i invented a game when i was 13. the name of the game was highway roulette or bucket truck and the object was to get cussed out here's how you play it make sure that you live on a hill above a highway or can get to a hill above a highway easily next get out a bike that is essential go to the top of said hill and start pedaling as hard as you possibly can when you hear vehicles when you cross the highway the driver will inevitably floor the brakes and lean on the steering wheel then jump out and start yelling their choice of senators if you're lucky i'm surprised i am still alive to write this me and my mom were using a pool float at the beach before we knew it we floated past the boys luckily she was able to swim back and get the lifeguard if i had fallen off that would have been bad because i can't swim when i was 16 my mom told me to turn on her car it was in the garage it didn't register in my mind that i had to open the garage door so i turned her car on and sat in her car for about seven minutes until she walked into the garage and was shocked was jet skiing on the colorado river and fell and was getting sucked towards a spinning paddle wheel boat paddle that had just left the dock it had no room to maneuver and i was out of breath and couldn't reach my ski luckily another jet skier saw my plight and towed me to my ski i was eating a jolly rancher and i threw it up in the air and it slipped all the way down my throat then i coughed it back up and continued to eat it as if nothing happened i was having a pool party at my house at night time and we were making a whirlpool where we go around in a circle and start a strong current i was maybe eight years old at the time swimming with a bunch of teenagers i was in one of those donut tubes swimming in it the tube flipped over and i was stuck underneath it with my tire strapped inside the middle hole i was swinging around in circles with my head stuck under water and no one noticed for about 30 seconds before i was flipped back over hi there look if you enjoyed the video well why not go ahead and hit that like and subscribe to reddit stories in fact if you want to see even more responses to this thread well then take a look there's the link in the description below and remember show some love to those authors while you're there and i look forward to seeing you next time [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] so [Music] so [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Stories

Views: 1,523

Rating: 4.927928 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, funny askreddit, askreddit stories, best reddit posts

Id: aoVD2aNrI4Q

Length: 17min 37sec (1057 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 12 2021