-Nice.
-Wow, babe. This Airbnb is really nice.
-Yeah, it is. I love all the exposed beams
and tongue-and-groove woodwork. -Brad, you're straight, right?
-Ha ha. -No, seriously, I just need
to hear you say it once. [ Door opens, knock on door ] -Hi. Knock, knock.
-Hello. -Hi. It's your Airbnb hosts.
I'm Lexi. -And I'm Tobi with an "i." -Oh, we -- we didn't know
you were coming by. -Oh, yeah, we just wanted
to make sure you got in okay. -Or if you need
any recommendations on where to go in the area,
like outside or in here. -Oh.
-Just want you to be happy. -Cool. Cool.
Yeah, I think we're good so far. -Yeah. We're trying
to become Superhosts. -Yeah, yeah.
It's an Airbnb thing. If you get enough great reviews, you get a little badge
on your profile -And -- And people see
the badge, and they go, "Ooh." -"Ooh."
-"They got a badge." -Well, so far,
everything's great. -Oh!
-Oh, good. [ Chuckles ] And I hope it's okay,
but we looked at your Instagram, and we saw a picture
of you eating pizza, so we got you guys one.
-Yes! And it's pepperoni,
like in the picture. -Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, cool. -We also saw another picture where you had
a little psoriasis. So we got you
this medicated body wash. -Oh, okay.
-Yeah, and, also, I saw in one of your posts
you had a blue shirt. So we got you these blue pants. -Mm-hmm.
-Okay. -Well, they're actually
for both of you. -Oh, well, we'll be sure
to both wear these. -Sorry, we just --
we want you to love the house as much as we do. -You know, this is where we lost
our virginity at each other. -Mm-hmm. -I'm sorry -- "at each other"?
-Mm-hmm. -Um, how long
have you guys lived here? -A week,
and after you guys check out, we're going to try again. -It really hurt him. -It was hella painful for me.
-Mm-hmm. Mm. -Well, thank you so much
for everything, but we're kind of tired. -Oh, Okay. Okay. That is definitely code for, "Get these serial killers
out of here so we can start
our own vacation." -We're not serial killers.
-Mnh-mnh. -Don't tell them
we're serial killers. -Mm-hmm.
-You're scaring them, Josh. -Oh, weren't you
Tobi with an "i"? [ Both laugh ] -Anyway... [ Both laugh ] If you have any questions
at all, you just call us.
-Yeah. -Well, yeah,
I do have one question -- what is that painting
on the mantel? -Oh, of your bodies? -Uh, yeah. The one of us
and our exposed bodies. -Ah! That was supposed to be
your check-out gift. -Oh, sorry,
trying to get that badge! -Mm! -And you did a --
a nude of our dog, too? -[ Chuckles ]
-Oh, my God! -Yeah, you're welcome. -Oh, and, guys, just FYI --
the wife I hear isn't great, so we left you
some porno mags in the bathroom. -Yeah. And don't you worry --
they're the kind you like. -Yeah. And if you need
anything else at all, just call us like this... -"Hey, you guys!"
-"Hey, you guys!" -Please.
-Alright. Yeah, please leave. -I'm sorry.
But you know what? We just really want
to be Superhosts. -Yes.
-Okay. How can we make it up to you? -Uh, oh, should I play guitar
while you unpack? -Oh, no, no, no.
That's fine. -Well, we can hear a little bit. -Oh, that's so nice of you. Oh, no, I forgot how. I'm sorry. [ Laughter ] -Okay.
I think we got it from here. -Ooh! Last thing -- there's
fresh sheets in the closet for two days from now.
-Mm-hmm. -What do you mean
"two days from now"? -Oh, we just know how you guys
are always too tired for sex on the first night of vacation, so you get really nasty
the next night. -Dude, what the hell?! How do you guys know this?! -From Instagram.
-Yeah. -We don't post that
on Instagram. -Well, we infer
based on your faces in previous vacation photos. You smile way more on Day 3. -Oh, my God.
Why are you guys doing this? -[ Sighs ] Okay, fine.
-[ Sighs ] -You -- You want the truth? We saw you on Instagram
a month ago, and we thought you were cool. -We were on the hashtag
for #Pizza, and we saw
your pepperoni-pizza posts and thought you'd make
good friends. -So we sold our house, and we built this one
to make it an Airbnb. βͺβͺ -Why didn't you just rent
your old place? -Oh!
-Oh-oh-oh-oh! -You see, this is exactly
why we need you guys around. -To keep us from doing
stupid stuff. -Unh! [ Chuckles ] -It's okay, guys. I actually
think it's pretty sweet. We've never had anyone
do a painting of us, and that's worth five stars
in my book. -Wow!
-Wow! -Okay, thank you. -Oh.
Oh, speaking of a book, well, don't forget to sign
our guestbook. -Yeah.
-Yeah, of course. -Oh.
-It just says "Run." -Yeah, we're serial killers.
-Yeah, we're serial killers. βͺβͺ -Oh, no, we forgot our knives.
-Ohh! We're so bad at this.
-Yeah. You guys, stay right there. We'll be right back.
-Right back. -Don't move. [ Cheers and applause ]
I actually really liked this one. So silly!
is it my imagination or does that painting's face look more like Sarah than Melissa
I wonder if there was a last minute switch
I love Melissa but I loved even more the flat audience response the "are you sure you're straight babe?" line got. (I know it's a joke on insecure straight couples but that kind of humour deserves to die a death)
Melissa had more stuff in this episode than she had all last season
Mirror!
Odd paced sketch. Can see why it was cut
Does anyone know where to get the shirt that Rami is wearing?
Great stuff! A higher watermark and this would have made it. Have Daniel Craig come in from the window or out from the bathroom or down the chimney and the Superhosts are like, "We know from going through your Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, Pornhub, and Tubi accounts you like 007 movies so we hired Daniel Craig". Then the three of them just sit on the couch watching Tomorrow Never Dies and the hosts get a 5/5
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