Splitting the Check - SNL

♪♪ -Anyway, I know I spend a lot of time defending SeaWorld, but they really do a terrific job with the fish. -Cool. -Here's the check, whenever you're ready. No rush. -He was great, by the way. I think we tip him, right? -Okay. So, um, how should we do this? -I mean, I guess I could put it on my card. -No, no, no. You don't -- You don't have to do that. -If it's easier, we can just split it six ways. -Well, I mean, some people had more than others. -Did they? -But let's just go through and see who ordered what. -Okay. That's fair. -Diet Coke. -That's me. -Coke Zero. -That's me. -Sprite Zero. -Me, as well. Just obeying my thirst. -Iced tea? -Me. -Arnold Palmer. -Moi. -Arnold Palmer with tequila. -[ Laughs ] Someone had to get the party started. -Whole roasted chicken, extra potatoes. -Sounds familiar. -Flat-iron pork chops, sub out broccoli for potatoes. -Okay, no, no, no, no. Wait. That I ordered for the table, although I probably did eat the lion's share of it. -98-ounce porterhouse steak. -Okay. Don't look at me, 'cause I did not get that. I'm serious. I didn't get that. There's no way. Come on. -There's a photo of you on the wall, eating it. -Well, maybe. -Four bacon cheeseburgers to-go. -Okay, I'm off the hot seat. Bob, that's you. -I'm a vegetarian. -A little too much information. -The Carson Daly, a chicken broth and vodka. -Yeah, I was trying to switch it up. A man cannot live on tequila alone. -"Five shots of tequila, but leave them in the bathroom so my friends don't find out"? -Yeah, I'm actually more concerned you called us friends. -A dozen raw eggs, still in the container. -That, I'll admit, was a little grocery shopping. And I don't expect you guys to pay for that. -A bottle of your nicest white wine with a note that says, "Please take me back, Jennifer. I am so, so, so sorry. I know we can make this work if you just tell the judge you were lying." -They wrote that on the bill? Just to embarrass me? -No, they charged you because you asked for it to be done by a calligrapher. -It's beautiful. -Bowl of turkey chili with a rum floater. -"Did I do that?" Urkel. -Another small side of potatoes. -That actually was me. Those potatoes did look good. -And a Cadillac margarita? Hey, it's 5:00 A.M. somewhere, right? -A.M.? -Is anyone else really blacking out right now? [ Hand raps table ] -Mr. Jackie St. Croix St. Thomas, we invited you to this meeting because you said you uncovered a map that would show us the true location of the Holy Grail. -We've been more than patient with you. Now produce the map at once. -There are interested parties -- Nazis -- who are most eager to possess it. -All right, I'm just gonna come clean. I'm not the successful dentist turned janitor turned influencer you all thought I was, and I don't have the map. Because it belongs in a museum. [ "Raiders March" plays ] [ All gasp ] -It's him! -Dr. Indianapolis Bones?! [ Whip cracks ] -Not so fast, Dr. Bones. -Nothing my trusty whip can't hand-- [ Gunshot, body thuds ] Ohh! You killed him! You kill Dr. Bones... in the first episode? Only on Amazon Prime. We're still figuring it out.

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 1,726,824

Rating: 4.8400049 out of 5

Keywords: SNL10022021, snl snl, saturday night live, season 47, snl 47, saturday night live splitting the check, snl host, owen wilson, owen wilson snl, heidi gardner, alex moffat, cecily strong, kenan thompson, aristotle athari, s47, s47e1, premiere, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, actor, musician, Owen Wilson, Night at the Museum, Marley and Me, Loki, Zoolander, Starsky and Hutch

Id: 4zO7i9P8mGE

Length: 3min 48sec (228 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 03 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/asonginsidemyheart]

I thought this was really funny actually.

[u/Sullyville]

Started slow. Got funnier as it went.

[u/Alone-Sherbert]

To anybody who was at dress rehearsal were there any other sketches that got cut

[u/Michael_G_Bordin]

Holy shit, the volume between the sketch ending and the tail end music. It matched! Maybe they've learned! Maybe they've changed their ways!!!

[u/collapse300]

Mirror!

[u/WrittenSarcasm]

I liked it until the Indiana Jones twist. One of the better Wilson performances out of anything last night.

[u/someone-krill-me]

Yeah makes sense they cut this one. Feels kind of contrived

[u/MAD_SLEEP_JAG]

lol

[u/forevertrueblue]

Anywhere I can watch this internationally?