Casino Proposal - SNL

>> HEY, BARTENDER, I'LL TAKE ANOTHER ONE. >> HONEY, SITTING HERE AND GETTING WASTED WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING. >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, JOE. >> WHY WOULD YOU GO ALL IN ON A PAIR OF FOURS? >> IT'S CALLED BLUFFING, BABE. ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL WORSE? >> I'M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. >> ALL YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS OUR SAVINGS IS BACK TO ZERO. SO WE CAN FORGET ABOUT BUYING A NEW HOUSE. YOUR DAD IS RIGHT. I'M NOT A MAN. I'M JUST A LITTLE FAT GIRL. >> ROUGH NIGHT? >> WHAT? >> ROUGH NIGHT? YOUR NIGHT, IT'S ROUGH RIGHT? >> I'M NOT IN THE GOOD TO TALK, BUDDY. THANKS. >> IS THAT YOUR WIFE? >> YEAH. THAT'S MY WIFE. >> SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. >> BUDDY, I ASKED YOU TO NICELY LEAVE US ALONE, OKAY? >> LOOK, I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE, BUT I'M A VERY, VERY WEALTHY MAN, AND I THINK YOUR WIFE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? >> LET'S JUST GO BACK TO THE ROOM. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAN. >> ONE NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE FOR $2,000. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ABOUT TO FISTFIGHT YOU, DUDE. >> WELL, HOW ABOUT $5 MILLION? >> $5 MILLION? >> LIKE I SAID, I'M A VERY, VERY WEALTHY MAN. >> UH-HUH. THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY JUST TO SLEEP WITH ME. >> YEAH. PLUS, I COULD PROBABLY DOUBLE IT PLAYING BACK. >> THAT'S ALREADY MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY. >> I MEAN, YOU WOULD HAVE TO SLEEP WITH A GUY. >> WELL -- >> ARE WE DOING THIS? >> I MEAN, IT'S $5 MILLION. >> HOW ABOUT $10,000? >> WHAT HAPPENED TO THE $5 MILLION? >> OH, SO WE'RE NEGOTIATING. FINE. LET'S MEET IN THE MIDDLE. $20,000. >> HOW IS THAT THE MIDDLE? >> YEAH, LOOK. I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU FOR ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY, SO JUST GET AWAY FROM US. >> NOT EVEN FOR $6 MILLION? >> ARE YOU ACTUALLY OFFERING US $6 MILLION? >> EVEN BETTER. I'M OFFERING YOU $50,000. >> WAIT. HOW IS THAT BETTER? >> IT'S EASIER TO CARRY. >> DUDE! DUDE, LOOK, I'M GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS. >> DEAL. SOLD. I ONLY NEED EIGHT. >> I MEANT FOR YOU TO GET AWAY FROM US. >> FINE, FINE, FINE. ONE NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE FOR THREE MILLION DOLL HAIRS. >> ARE YOU SAYING DOLL HAIRS OR DOLLARS? >> OH, BEAUTY AND SMARTS. I LIKE THAT. >> BARTENDER, COULD WE GET THE CHECK, PLEASE? >> LOOK, I'M A VERY WEALTHY MAN. I WILL GIVE YOU $600,000 FOR ONE NIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE. FOR REAL. LAST OFFER, NO JOKE. >> NO. >> BABY, THINK ABOUT THIS. THAT'S STILL A LOT OF MONEY. >> I MEAN, WE COULD GET THE HOUSE AND I COULD ACTUALLY GO TO COLLEGE. >> SURE. AND IT'S ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT. >> I LOVE YOU. >> I LOVE YOU, TOO. >> OKAY. $55,000 CASH. >> WHY DO YOU KEEP CHANGING IT? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME SEE THE MONEY. >> THE MONEY? >> YEAH, THE $55,000 IN CASH I WOULD LIKE TO SEE WITH MY EYES. >> WELL, IT IS IN THIS BRIEFCASE. >> WHAT BRIEFCASE? >> YOU ARE NOT HOLDING ANYTHING. >> Y'ALL GOT VENMO. WHAT IF SHE HAD SEX WITH ME. >> THAT'S ALREADY WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING. >> BARTENDER, CHECK PLEASE! >> FINE. I WILL PAY THE CHECK, BUT YOU HAVE TO WATCH ME HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE. >> NO! >> OKAY, FINE. NO SEX, BUT YOU PAY FOR MY CHECK THEN. >> NO. >> OKAY, FINE. I'LL BET YOU $100 THAT I CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE. >> DEAL. >> NO! NO MORE GAMBLING! >> ENOUGH.

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 2,649,008

Keywords: SNL10232021, saturday night live, season 47, snl 47, snl Jason sudeikis, jason sudeikis, casino proposal, casino, gambling, heidi gardner, kenan Thompson, couple, casino bar, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, music, laugh, impersonation, snl, Jason Sudeikis, Brandi Carlile, Ted Lasso, we’re the millers, horrible bosses, In These Silent Days, broken horses, right on time, the joke, wasn’t me, the highwaymen, the story, s47, s47e4, episode 4, host, actor, guest

Id: wy1yU3KFCPc

Length: 4min 21sec (261 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 24 2021