Straight people share the most "gay" situations they've been in - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight ah slash ask reddit by planet reddit straight people have read it what's the most homosexual situation you've found yourself in this is my roommate's story not mine but it's too damn funny not to tell he heads down to atlantic city for the weekend with some friends hoping to just hang out gamble and drink along with him are two guys he's good friends with works with gaia is openly gay and in a committed relationship guy b is straight and single as the first night goes on they all get progressively drunker and are actually winning a lot of money at the tables guya goes up to his room to call his boyfriend leaving my friend alone with guy b guy b starts sobbing the minute guya leaves the room wailing to my roommate that he's gay and has secretly been in love with guya since the moment he first met him we're talking ugly crying the kind where everyone in the room ignores you because it's too hard to watch so my roommate unable to deal with this emotional outburst start chugging drinks hoping it'll help guy comes back from the room hysterically crying because his boyfriend broke up with him over the phone so now both men are crying on opposite sides of the room because they are ashamed to have the other see them crying meanwhile they keep crying to my roommate but he's the neutral third party eventually guy b figures out guya is now single and makes his move he drags my roommate with him as support and confronts guya he admits his love and asks him if they can be together guya rejects him and they both cry with renewed intensity they all continue to drink and both gaia and gaibi get so drunk and depressed they desperately ask my roommate if he would have sex with them because he's such a nice guy that was an event from start to finish this should have been the hangover part three the army you'll find the straightest gay guys and the gayest straight guys most of the top posts in this thread are from veterans as a vet myself i'm not the least bit surprised now which one of you dong lickers wants to play hide the pickle i'm more of a who's in my mouth kinda guy i got job to act in an ad for big ice company i was dressed in full yellow outfit even socks and put on yellow sunglasses i wouldn't mind that but then the director told me to lay on the floor green screen in some sexy football away and gave me a banana to eat it in one really slow and sexual way right when i finished recording the scene other actors told me that this was gayest thing they ever witnessed so yay i am now known as a yellow guy eating the banana on tv ad which is kind of popular at the moment i guess i am gonna have to post the link after all rip reddit account bottom left one yeah to be link you look fine to me plus the chick bathing behind the curtain nullifies any gayness was sharing a bed with a friend while on a university networking trip middle of the night he grabs my waist from behind i wake up and try to squirm away he is stronger than me and i can't break free i'm his unwilling little spoon i finally pry his hands off and fall off the far side of the bed i stand up and look at him and it starts to make sense he has now grabbed all the blankets and is hugging them against his body and mumbling he's just doing weird [ __ ] in his sleep waited till he chilled out and then wrestled some blankets back and went back to sleep no big deal but in the moment i felt like i was about to lose my anal virginity the good i'll go for it and if it doesn't work pretend to be a sleep trick i'm a heavy sleeper and i usually use a hug pillow so when i slept over at my cousins i woke up once to you beach wtf as he's like pushing my face away while i had a deep grip on him good times australian all boys school pretty damn good at playing gay chicken rooster name it there was one time my friend and i were sidestaged during a production of west side story during the scene where tony and maria meet for the first time he and i turn to each other and start mouthing their lines then the dialogue ends and they're meant to kiss sure enough we both lean in slowly i wasn't backing down i want to see how far this can go by this point most people side stage and even on stage have noticed extras thankfully and are trying as hard as they can not to lose their [ __ ] and break character i'm pretty sure i would have gone all the way had he not gone for an eskimo kiss no then knows i think he knows i would have given he saw me kiss another guy at an 18th it was a joint production with the nearby girls school so we were the only gay boys this is ducking hilarious i can imagine them trying not to laugh on stage during a barracks check for drugs the room across from me was pretty much kicked into i got to witness myceo's face as he saw two dudes going at it like the end of the world i think some of my hearing loss can be attributed to how loud the ceo screamed what in the ducking hell are you doing there was a lot of gay chicken in the military but that time left the most vivid image i think at the point it's not gay chicken anymore it's just gay what's gay chicken a man i met at a wedding in london wanted to show 15 year old me his recording studio you damn fool you could have been the next bieber seems like he dodged two bullets at once there some girl tried to have sex with me in a club i stopped when she got my titty out gosh damn it you watch your ducking mouth okay backstory have a friend named adam we all knew adam was gay before he came out so adam comes out and we are all like done so adam wants to go to a gay bar but is completely anxious about it i not anyone in adam's friend group have been to a gay bar either i have a friend laurie who is also gay laurie and adam don't know each other so i introduce them and the three of us wind up heading to a club called pegasus i am there as designated driver and an escape route should adam decide he has to leave so i am basically hanging out at the bar talking to the bartenders after we get through the asia straight and being vouched for by lorry to the lesbians that i wasn't trolling for a three-way i'm having a decent time except there is one guy aggressive as all hell wouldn't leave me alone like i totally get why women get freaked out in these situations i'm a big dude and i was getting a little freaked out more pissed off but so anyway thus dude is not letting up i go from no thanks to go the duck away or i will punch your teeth in guy leaves anyway a couple of people have found out why i was there and think it's great free drinks non-alcohol for me from plenty of people then mr aggressive comes back and apologized and hands me a drink before i can't take a sip this giant black woman of a transvestite grabs the drink and dumps it out on the floor and grabs the dude and tells the bartender she saw emma aggressive spike my drink bouncers show up guy is tossed onto the street i thank the lady and offer to buy her a drink sugar i'd rather have a dance with her response so what the hell we danced for a bit hands off she was a perfect gentleman shortly after adam decided it was time to go so we rounded up lorry and headed out chloe wherever you are thanks again you can always count on a queen that's what i've learned from this thread so far i'm gay but i went out with a group of friends once that included a straight guy he ended the night at a gay club throwing up in a door-less bathroom store with an unfamiliar drag queen holding his glasses and patching his back so that would probably be his answer aww you can always count on a queen to have your back that reminds me of a time when a friend who went to a gay nightclub with me asked me to go to the men's room with him and watch his back since the stalls were doorless he was asking the fox to guard a house i guarantee there was no one in that joint who wanted his dong half as bad as i did hilariously he was safe from being hit on as being a closed horse who used to model he gave the appearance of being both gay and out of most guys league thus warding off pick-up attempts i kissed a dude in a hot tub he was my buddy and he's gay and everyone said i wouldn't well i showed them edit grip one of my top comments is this go on that led to other things and long story short i ended up getting preggers with an ass baby aimed at me a dude at a party asked if he could suck my dong i said no he walked off just in general i worked at my uncle's gay bar for a few months it was awesome why was it awesome gay men like to drink and tip being deployed in the military yep the only time i've been chased around a room by three dudes waving their cokes around through their pants zippers was in basic we were just reservists too so i don't know what was up with that yay my marine friends are gayer than my gay friends by far let me preface i am a straight male i was dating a stripper a female i decided i wanted to try stripping we did the research the only way to make money is to dance for dudes i call my gay friend he finds out the best place within driving distance i check the website that wednesday is amateur night a contest with 300 bucks for first place i get my gay friend to take me down there we walk in there are dongs everywhere on the bar are three naked men with dongs out in your face around the room are about 12 naked dancers and gay porn on every tv right now i am in shock so we just stand around for a while i had come to scope it out next month contest they announce the contest and ask all participants to go backstage i didn't go then about 10 dudes around me they're like aren't you doing the contest with bini cited to see you they basically push me into the prep room no here is where it gets gay the prep room is seven guys getting ready for the contest i am number eight five guys are naked near me and all jerking off two guys are blowing each other back and forth trying to get hard for the contest i am not interested in getting hard then it's my turn i go out and they play a song and i get naked and dance there is a line of people with dollars to give me my friend comes up and tips me i win the contest made 460 in under an hour also took the job when they offered eventually i was jerking off before sets in that same room near gay men who also were jerking off here is where it gets gay it sounded pretty gay before that tbh it got mega gay though made eye contact with another guy while eating a banana once reminds me of this guy who once told me about one of the rules in his bro code specifically about how to eat a banana never close your eyes never make eye contact fast bites don't put it in your mouth for more than one second small bites don't take bites longer than 4cm edit the comment chain is bananas now i get it why they read its favorite measuring device thanks for sharing your hilarious experiences and insights you're missing one big point bring the banana to your mouth don't bring mouth to banana my old roommate juice try to pull me into having a threesome with her and her boyfriend but i was not attracted to either of them so i would decline some days she would trick me into going into a bedroom saying she needs help with homework and then lock the door and start undressing but the weirdest was when i was doing work in my room and she walked in and laid on my bed naked without even saying a word just spread eagle it was too awkward for me i just walked out of the room and later i cleaned my sheets wtf that's incredibly creepy especially where she used to try to hijack the room and start taking her clothes off wtf does these things that's a sexual violation right there if it isn't idk how the laws and what i presume is america work but it's extremely disrespectful my friend renee and i were going to visit one of our gay friends and his boyfriend from work at their new house there was a snowstorm and renee couldn't go she didn't trust her car in the snow so i ended up going alone and hanging out with these two guys and their friend mike unbeknownst to both renee and i the gay couple was trying to set me up with mike they were not aware that renee and i had been sleeping together on the dl for three months because renee was telling people i was gay so that we wouldn't get in trouble with hr at work hr frowned on office relationships edit for clarity tl dr girl i hooked up with told friends i was gay so no one knew we were hooking up gay friends tried to set me up with their gay friend wait the girl you were sleeping with set you up on a blind date no we were just going to hang out with our friend and his boyfriend they brought their friend because the girl i was sleeping with was telling people that i was gay in an attempt to hide out not exactly hr approved office romance she and i dated for a while but eventually broke up after a couple of years one time i was really tired and horny drifting to sleep i thought about how it would be nice to get a bj then i thought about how good i would be at giving a bj because i know exactly what i'd want then i thought about what i'd do if i was giving a bj it sort of turned me on it was weird then i fell asleep and it's never happened again tonight's a new night who knows what adventures await in high school my friend group had an unofficial game the point was to try and embarrass someone by making the most uncomfortable situations possible if they played along you lost if they cracked you won admitting it's a game is an instant loss being high school boys gay stuff was the go-to to make someone uncomfortable we were always trying to top each other phrasing boom a big party was happening and when i showed up i was greeted at the gate by a [ __ ] he tore his clothes off party boy style revealing a red g string and yelled let's party knowing my friends i assumed a gay [ __ ] stripper was their attempt at kicking it up a notch so of course i can't lose danced provocatively with the little stripper swung my shirt over my head the whole nine turns out my friends weren't even there yet and no one else had any clue about our game as far as they knew i walked in saw a male stripper and got really excited i was sucking a dong then i realized it was a guy how did you know i made eye contact and then it dawned upon me i was 14 at the time and i was right beside my little brother called him he turned to look at me right as i was licking my upper lip because it was really dry and it's sort of a habit my tongue touched his tongue since he held his tongue out too not sure why though we chose to never speak of it again so if it's gay if your balls touch what is it when your tongues touch reptilian not really a homosexual situation but one of my ex's best friend was gay and he would hit on me a lot he would tell me like if you ever get bored of your gf come see me and i'll give you the ride of your life do you think you had the ride of your life yet well not at all a little creepy a friend and i were shopping at home goods we're both dudes we both had a few things in our hands and each of us picked up a candle with our free hand to smell i thought mine smelled pleasant and he though his did as well we proceeded to cross arms be a drinking style and smell each other's candle face to face while making eye contact we both acknowledged what happened and mentioned nothing of it i hang out with a group of friends that like to slap friends asses when i first joined then i was like damn y'all are gay as hell then two years later i found myself slapping their asses as hard as i could for shits and giggles i bit this dude ass once or twice let's back up for a minute you did what now so usually in school as a joke when me and my friend see each other we'll say something really dumb like hey dad oh hey son but in this situation me and my friend both turned the corner at the same time and called each other honey it was ducking hilarious but also really ducking gay but no homo maybe a little so there's this guy that used to come over a lot after i met him colin sean sean was the type that woke me up at 7 00 am by whipping the coffee maker with a towel to turn it on at one time he woke me up out of a dead sleep because he sleep walked right into my room and crashed into my closet thinking it was the bathroom fell backwards flat on his back and proceeded to piss himself on my floor a few hours later and it's all why am i naked so one time i come home and sean is in my room on my computer with absolutely nothing on besides a bright green sock dangling from his dong with the word send nudes written on it now normally i get grumpy when people are in my room using my [ __ ] but we did a lot of drugs together so the boundaries were kinda thin instead i was so awestruck at the lengths this guy went that i decided to sit behind him on my bed and join him in trolling people on chat roulette by the end of this session there had to be at least half a dozen of my friends all gathered around a naked guy with a sock on his junk i won't tell you if the balls touched a bright green sock dangling from his dong with the word send nudes written on it life goals i was in a literature class once and a guy told me to shut the duck up before he kissed me on the lips i don't know in what world that would be an insult but it made me pretty uncomfortable it's not a threat it's a promise not going to lie communal showers during high school sports seems pretty damn gay in hindsight just a big open room with like 20 shower heads on the wall and a bunch of 15-18 year olds running around naked you should try boot camp way worse however when you do it every day you get desensitized to it and no one thinks of it as gay unless you're just confused about life was in a full hotel elevator that had a wall mirror with a closed body of mine after night swimming when he looks at me in the mirror and asked who's that good looking guy to which i replied standing next to me aww then he looks one dude dead in the eyes and deadpan says that's my boyfriend we're both straight as hell but things like this happen a lot i'll repost this from last month when someone asked the exact same question when i was in high school late 90s the internet was a very different place it wasn't uncommon to find a person didn't have internet access many of those who did had aol or at least aim anyway i had been corresponding with this guy roughly my age who went to school one town over from my own roughly a 15-minute drive eventually we decided to meet up without getting too specific i'll say that we met because we had a mutual interest in a particular fetish so we would swap porn we found when one had to do some hunting for freebies and talk about how hot the women in the pics were etc so i'm fully expecting to get there and have it turn out to be a pervy old guy who is going to try to throw me into his van we met at a highly public place to avoid such an issue sure enough we are both exactly who we said we were in retrospect i'm not so sure why i didn't see this coming i mean two straight guys hanging out talking about a thing that women do that gets them off already this was shaping up to be pretty gay he did i'm not grew up in a conservative predominantly catholic and altogether macho type of town so the whole thing had me pretty confused for a while was i gay was i b even though i wasn't attracted to dudes did having one blow me initiate me into gayness then i got out of my town saw the world met new people and realized that it really wasn't that big of a deal and i wasn't forever marked scarred damned etc just a confused kid who experimented with the thing the dude interestingly is also married to a woman and has a few kids as a gay man who was out from about age 15. i can tell you that i'm fairly certain i've sucked more straight dongs than gay i don't think this is homosexual but dildo ducking myself in the ass while in my girlfriend's bathroom she was asleep in the next room it's not gay if you were thinking of a girl thanks for watching subscribe for three videos a day

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 279,871

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Keywords: ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, reddit and chill, tz reddit, reddit watchers, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, askreddit reading, askreddit scary, funny askreddit, askreddit stupid, askreddit question, reddit on tap

Id: zALjsUbBsN8

Length: 22min 30sec (1350 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 06 2020