♪♪♪
>>> YOU KNOW, WHEN I HIT 50, MY BODY WENT THROUGH A BIG CHANGE
AND NOT FOR THE BETTER. SEVERE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
SHATTERED MY CONFIDENCE, SENT ME INTO A DEPRESSION, AND ALMOST
RUINED MY MARRIAGE. AND BELIEVE ME, I TRIED
EVERYTHING. BUT THEN, A FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT
XENTREX, SO I TRIED IT, AND IT WORKED.
>> XENTREX IS THE STRONGEST MALE-ENHANCEMENT DRUG ON THE
MARKET. IT INCREASES BLOOD FLOW, BOOSTS
TESTOSTERONE, AND ENDS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION INSTANTLY.
>> SO I ASKED MY DOCTOR ABOUT XENTREX, AND HE SAID, "XENTREX?
WHAT THE HELL IS XENTREX?" [ LAUGHTER ]
AND I SAID, "XENTREX, IT'S THE STRONGEST MALE-ENHANCEMENT DRUG
IN THE WORLD, AND IT WORKS." AND HE SAID HE NEVER HEARD OF
IT. SO, I PULLED UP THE WEBSITE AND
SHOWED IT TO HIM. HE STARTED LAUGHING.
HE SAID, "ARE YOU INSANE, MAN? YOU CAN'T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY.
IT'LL KILL YOU. YOUR HEART WILL STOP.
RHINO HORN? AMMONIUM HYDROXIDE?
THAT'S IN METH, RIGHT?" >> XENTREX IS MADE STRONG ENOUGH
TO WORK ON THE MOST EXTREME CASES OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION,
AND FAST! >> MY DOCTOR ASKED ME, "WHERE
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT [ BLEEP ]?"
I TOLD HIM, "A FRIEND." AND HE SAID, "WELL, WHAT'S HIS
NAME?" AND I SAID, "WELL, I DON'T
REALLY KNOW HIM, ACTUALLY." HE SAYS, BUT YOU JUST SAID HE'S
YOUR FRIEND. SO, I TOLD MY DOCTOR, "LOOK,
LET'S FORGET ABOUT HIM, AND JUST WRITE ME A SCRIP FOR XENTREX,
AND I'LL BE ON MY WAY." MY DOCTOR SAID, "ARE YOU DEAF,
MAN?" "NO."
"I COULD LOSE MY LICENSE. YOU COULD DIE."
I SAID, "YEAH, I STILL WANT IT, THOUGH.
SO GIVE IT TO ME. WRITE THE PRESCRIPTION."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I WASN'T LEAVING.
SO, HE SAYS, "I THINK THAT WEBSITE JUST FROZE MY COMPUTER."
SO I GRABBED HIM A LITTLE. HE GOES, "YOU'RE HURTING ME,
SIR." XENTREX WORKS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> SIDE EFFECTS OF XENTREX
INCLUDE FITS OF RAGE, ACNE, BLEEDING, BALDNESS, BLINDNESS,
WHOOPING COUGH, HALLUCINATIONS, COMA, TROUBLE SWALLOWING,
DECREASE IN SEMEN, INCREASE IN SEMEN, NASAL SORES,
CONSTIPATION, VOMITING, NIGHT TERRORS, AMNESIA, AND SUICIDAL
URGES. >> THOSE ARE JUST THE SYMPTOMS
THEY TELL YOU ABOUT. I GET SWEATS.
MY BONES ARE COLD. MY TEETH ARE LOOSE.
MY HEART GETS REALLY, REALLY HOT.
I COULD READ MINDS, AND SOMETIMES, I WAKE UP DRIVING A
STOLEN CAR. MY ERECTIONS ARE FANTASTIC.
WHEN I WEAR GRAY SWEAT PANTS, PEOPLE CROSS THE STREET.
WHICH IS FINE. XENTREK GAVE ME MY LIFE BACK.
HAIL SATAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> SO, THREATEN YOUR DOCTOR, OR ASK YOUR KETAMINE GUY ABOUT
SOUTH AFRICAN XENTREK TODAY. >> A, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!
IT WORKS! [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
mirror - Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa restricted
The tone he used through the entire thing made this pure gold.
"So threaten your doctor or ask your ketamine guy about South African xentrex today"
"You could die!"
"Yeah, I think I still want it though so give it to me"
Every addict ever
This reminds me of when my friend told me about meth, 6 years and 32 teeth later and I've never been happier
"Xentrex gave me my life back. Hail Satan."
"when I wear grey sweatpants people cross the street". It's amazing how perfect this commercial sounds.
The rock killed this one! He really is a talented actor
as soon as the sketch started, I thought he was going to be walking around talking to his co-workers with a huge boner the entire time, and just making everyone super uncomfortable.