Space Quest II - Game Grump

hello my name is Danny and this is Brian and we are ninja cent party oh it's fine it's fine we're keep going yeah do not stop recording we've got we've got a new music video out for a new original song called orgy for one on the ninja sex party YouTube channel and just sex party YouTube cap and it's very available for you to watch right now it'll put the link in the description and Ryan you can put a link at the end card of this video yeah and won't that be the tits I'll be the tips so please enjoy it we worked super hard right it's got a lot of fire and a lot of spandex and we love you see you soon well hello there little buckaroos and bukka rats and and welcome to a very special play through of space quest - ah [ __ ] yeah god I love doing this it is vocals revenge you may remember Bohol as the guy who we killed in the first one did we kill him I can't remember no we just blew up his Viserion ship and he was like he was all made was all made of me Scott Murphy and Mark Crowe thank you always you guys guys really made my childhood we bit these jams him as you will recall in our last chapter you are just foiled the Sirians fiendish plot to rule the galaxy by using the star generator as their weapon of destruction you became a hero by saving countless lives and returning the star generator technology into safe hands life was beautiful but heroes come and go and people soon forget your celebrated hero dims slowly fades leaving you once again a janitor the promotion a head janitor was no consolation especially since you were the only member of the janitorial staff nor was the transfer to orbit orbital station for sweating like a pork beast in a pressure suit while relocating space debris in zero gravity just wasn't your idea of a good time life sucks again oh man kind of heavy kind of true let's do it man here we are this is the xenon orbital station four and we're gonna so so triumphant yes welcome aboard XO s4 to log in for duty please enter your name below up to 18 characters what my name is Danny orbital station four is one of many orbiting xenon your home planet it is it is a transfer point for travelers seeking transportation to the various planets in the air non-system as we begin this chapter of our story we find you Danny ace janitor doing what you do best yep I'm sleeping I'm sleeping up this jam and space quest - well you know what let's just get into the plot and then all uh and then I'll tell you some stories a beep emanates from your wristwatch you release your grip on the broom whoops the broom floats away never to be used again that makes the third one this week wait till your boss finds out okay so that broom is [ __ ] gone look watch whoa I never did this before press f10 when done each button your horoscope for today keep up the good work today could bring that big promotion you think you deserve don't take any wooden bucket oh it's okay so true push see oh [ __ ] mmm Danny get in here on the double you got a mess to clean up on the shuttle which just returned one of the passengers got space sick on the way down besides you should have been done out there an hour ago get a move on oh man getting chewed out by my boss this isn't why we play video games no I want to looking for my watch and Presti ah it's 11 26 and the temperature is negative 47 Celsius ah the joys of working in space okay so here's a fun little thing before we get going if you just type cheat at the beginning boom you win I [ __ ] love that [ __ ] congratulations you're the most [ __ ] an adventure game player in the world no make that the entire universe while all those other silly saps struggle and toil through puzzle after puzzle you have found a way to cheat yourself to the end is America great or what I love that they put [ __ ] like that in here yeah by the way as you can see I got 255 points out of a possible 250 so good for me okay well now I have to reload the whole thing gosh gosh dang it alright well it's fine it's fun we're good we're good everything's cool okay doing this my name is Danny hooray for me dah dah dah okay you kind of have to go through this thing with the broom again but that's fine we've got we've got time you know how this is the where is this the fourth space quest game we played on the show so you know how this [ __ ] works lost me broom whatever no broom don't care long hair don't care that's my motto so I've got an anti gravel and then up on the ceiling and the jams I thought that was so cool when I was a kid I love that [ __ ] I'm whisked away to an airlock chamber all right stand by for decontamination apparently strobe lights decontaminate you which is pretty sweet let's say change clothes oh there I am handsome handsome lad that I am let's take a look around the room this is the airlock chamber from here you can gain extra vehicular access spare suits hang on the back wall some lockers are mounted on the side wall well then let's open the [ __ ] locker you'll need to get closer how about this open Locker look locker you bravely peer into the locker and find a cube extrude puzzle and your athletic supporter well then I'll take the puzzle okay and take supporter that's a jockstrap by the way if in case anyone at home is wondering in fact maybe I could take a look at it in my inventory okay so I still have the order form from the last game whoops look forum this is an order form you removed from a magazine for a free lay beyond terror Beast mating whistle it's ready to be mailed cool so I've got that look puzzle the cube extrude puzzle has made you look stupid more than usual oh great look supporter this is yours yet this is your athletic supporter without close inspection you notice it to be well used that means there's a lot of dick on it what else was in my inventory oh the dialect translator that's what's from the first game sorry not the mail order thing look translator as you may remember that's what I use to speak to the giant face thing with the red eyes I know the purple eyes I can't remember the dialect translator is a small device it is on ok great and you know what let's save because I might figure out a way to die real early hi I'm Danny and this is fun ok and we're off so Space Quest 2 was a very important game to me when I was a little kid oh look at uh look at these fellas oh wait there's my boss [ __ ] it's about time you got in here Danny head for the shuttle bay on the double I'm warning you you're on your last leg around here bud one more screw-up in your history he then orders the transportation officer to send you directly to the shuttle bay and nowhere else until the job has been completed uh give finger to boss I don't understand finger well then you're in for a long ride my friend talk man the Chiefs not happy with you Danny the man says you'd better get over the shuttle bleh syren by the way you still owe me 20 bucks swords he best coffin up soon okay man well you better get moving Danny and don't forget that 20 buck is all right zero me do I owe everyone here 20 bucks I think I buy it you better give up yeah okay do it okay yeah all right let me just make sure I'm okay cool all right off we go so Space Quest - when I was a little kid probably like 12 years old I came to California for the for one of the first times and played this game with my uncle my uncle Bruce and I never dreamed that I would be living in California but I could not get very far in this game at all cuz you know it's a little bit it's a little bit for grown-ups it's not as intuitive as you know super Mario or anything like that and there were puzzles that I I didn't know what an athletic supporter was at the time because you know I had a [ __ ] baby dick and you don't need that [ __ ] okay so let's look around this room you are in the orbital stations shuttle bay a shuttle fresh from a passenger drop-off on Zenon is refueling for its next trip a pneumatic transport tube is accessible from the walkway a refueler replenishes the shuttle supply look refueler it's not much to look at the refueler is just a the structure which bears a pressure gauge and a hose outlet for the transfer of fuel the hose is currently hooked to a shuttle on hook refueler I didn't spell that right don't mess with it it's automatic besides if you can't be trusted with a broom highly volatile liquids are definitely out of the question that is a solid point all right guess I'll just hop on in this ship the shuttles the shuttlecraft is your standard 10 passenger short commute vehicle it was primarily designed to ferry people and supplies between orbital stations Zenon and other orbiting spacecraft well great let's just get on up in here then you enter the shuttle and start sniffing around for the mess you must clean you are surprised to find that the shuttle is not empty there are two extremely ugly suckers walking towards you hey what the your favorite expletive here I'm gonna go with [ __ ] pow thwack [ __ ] thud your protest is cut short as to interstellar ruffians proceeded to thump you into unconsciousness everything fades time passes more time passes a strange dream turns into the realization that you are being shaken and talked to you by a voice unfamiliar to you a dull ache triggers a distant memory of a scuffle in which you were the focal point yeah I got my ass beat upon awakening from your forced rest it becomes quite apparent that you aren't in Kansas there xenon anymore you find that you were being held upright and under physical restraint from both sides by you guess the Galactic goons you met on the shuttle as you try to struggle free you notice that your hands are tied behind your back as the eyes dial into focus you make out the oddly disfigured oh you make out an oddly disfigured being seated before you got it oh [ __ ] it's sludge volha already damn this game throws you right into it a sagging mass of flesh that appears to have been human at one time tubes and wires extend from his body leading to machines which keep him alive suddenly his visit stirs and he begins to speak well well did we have a nice nap I'm giving him pain voice for some reason I thought we would have to resort to drastic measures to wake you oh well welcome to my humble Fortress Teddy the name's Bohol sludge vocal I was the genius behind the star generator when it was still in the concept stages it was to be my ultimate war weapon until some [ __ ] pants scientists decided it would be better used saving lives rather than destroying them what a waste of technology excuse me if I sound better if this if anyone remembers in the cartridge I believed on it from the first game there's a message on there from /bo Hall one of the scientists who worked on it who must be this and he changed his name to sludge when he became a disgusting sludgy mess anyway you ruined my Syrian operation I was going to use the star generator to make xenon pay for what they did to me they were going to know my wrath in a big way you somehow managed to change all that oh I suppose I should have known better than to use those mental midgets Aryans that's not the point however you are responsible and you shall pay besides I have a another plan and you'll not be around to foil it I have devised the plan so horrible so frightening so diabolical that no one will be able to stop me observe my latest creation OOP I intend to infest your planet with thousands of these genetically engineered door-to-door life insurance salesman I will at least I will at last reap sweet revenge from the scientific community that mocked me my plan was to kill you but I've had a change of heart get it he appears down at the hoses protruding from his chest and connected to his life-support system forgive me I'm a kidder I've decided I would get much more enjoyment watching you suffer my associates will escort you to the surface of lay bein where you will perform many painful hours of manual labor in my minds be seeing you I was always unnerved by that douchey laugh of his and yeah he's gonna send a bunch of [ __ ] life insurance salesmen onto my plan and ruin them [ __ ] ruin it an injection renders you unconscious you're drugged carcass is loaded onto a shuttle upon reviving you look through the viewing port to see well you look through the viewing port to see veau holes massive asteroid fortress getting smaller oh man what an action sequence look at that scale at the time it was very impressed if I do have to be completely honest [Music] oh yeah I'm all bound up can't do [ __ ] after touching down in a giant landing platform you are ushered to a hovercraft waiting to transport you to the mining site utter despair sets in ok so these guys are probably taking me somewhere cool and it'll be awesome so what do you guys do you guys you monkey people all the time and camouflage that [ __ ] it ignore the repeating tree patterns that we are definitely not going in circles it's just you know limitations of the genre at the time it's kind of hard to oh wait oh wait oh oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] no dicks uh oh great I suppose we're out of fuel way to go gorf breath don't blame me it was your turn to fill up you're always forgetting to do it wait till the master finds out you're in big trouble hey don't talk to me that way you slime bucket I filled it last time did the argument between oh wow he's gonna say [ __ ] I didn't even pick up on that as a child the argument between the two guards is cut short his gravity reasserts itself ah [ __ ] crash goddamnit yeah so they're super [ __ ] dead good thing that guard broke your fall he doesn't look too happy about it though all right look you seem to be in a rather exotic forest the growth here is unlike anything you're used to on the ground lies the wreckage of the hovercraft you crashed in nearby are the bodies of your former captors look body the guard appears to be less thick than you remember him many of us formerly contained body fluids seemed to be at large great search body you searched the grotesque body and find a small thin magnetic card it looks like a keycard you seem to recall seeing one somewhere in the past well then I'll take that cue card it's gonna be rad okay got it and let's check this craft the hover craft has been reduced to a mound of twisted wreckage everything that was straight is bent everything that was bent is bent err there appear to be no salvageable parts search craft everything inside is twisted and bent you do notice a button with a flashing light next to it it seems to be emitting a high-pitched beep well then let me go ahead and push that button well or I could punch the button push button you press the button the light goes dark and you no longer notice the high-pitched beep that's probably good look body this guards body has been fatally damaged by the fall search body you search through grotesque body and find nothing well great then let me save my game because we did a thing I did a thing what I did a thing and now two are dead OOP dead no okay great now I get to walk around and explore this majestic land the whole world is in front of me and it all [ __ ] well then die you fall to the bottom of a concealed pit you might have survived the followed you not come in contact with the several 30 centimeter long spikes planted vertically along the bottom of the pit well [ __ ] another senseless tragedy you can help prevent this vote YES on lobotomies for adventure game designers thank you for playing space quest - Danny you've been most entertaining well thank you guys let me just restore okay and we're back okay so now now that I've fallen through that I do remember it and it is pretty clearly marked I keep seeing these eyes around the perimeter so let me see if I can say look eyes you must be seeing things oh I don't know about that man I think I'm I think I'm being watched not cool Wow okay so here are some shrooms look shrooms dammit look mushrooms aside from their enormous size they appear to be your average garden-variety mushrooms well then surely there's going to be no problem with me just [ __ ] walking up into the goddammit holy geez boy that mushroom thinks sucked you clean up you can't move a muscle nor see a speck of light you begin feeling waves of tingling warmth and moisture suddenly it's not so bad in here Wow check out the colors dude your body and mind enjoy the short-lived buzz that is a side effect of the lethal poison your nephew now marinated you are oblivious to the end not a bad way to go actually but it sure is early in the game I had high hopes for you they said who Danny not a chance that chump won't last 20 minutes I said no way Danny isn't that lame so anyway don't make me look stupid too okay that's two deaths thanks for playing you've been very entertaining well thank you let's restore so my buddy rolls hold a toss I don't know how to pronounce his name still even though he told me multiple times but I'll say trolls trolls ply Mart the space quest historian has done a couple playthroughs of of all the space quest game and he played this one through and he had a very good point which was that these mushrooms were kind of the first thing you could encounter in any space quest game that had no benefit to them to you they are only there to kill you and that is kind of cool fully just too dense and that's kind of cool because it really does add something to this game the way that the obstacles they throw in your way and and that kind of made it especially tough to when I was a kid for with these types of games because I would just sit here trying to interact with these mushrooms for hours and there there was nothing to be gained from them a real dick to the face a real dick to my my my childhood face which of course is illegal okay so we're gonna head over here now let's see what's back here maybe because we're kind of running out of places to search there we go okay see what's up here you are in a strange-looking stand of woods well then whoop suddenly from somewhere to the east you hear a twang followed by a high pitched shriek well let's go check that out I'm unarmed and something terrible is happening time to investigate oh look at that little fella look creature the little creature caught in the snare has thick looking pinkish skin he looks to be less than a meter tall he doesn't seem too thrilled with his predicament alright well let's see if I can guess kiss it kiss creature you really aren't attracted to it well I'm glad they glad they made a response to that talk creature he doesn't respond help creature in what way untie creature there you go a little buddy you seem friendly like a friendly fella huh before disappearing through a tiny hole in the brush the little creature gives you a long glance ah he liked me I'm a friend I hmm can I take this rope I can't remember without the weight of the little creature on the rope it is not within your reach okay so be it with those eyes creep me out maybe stand on rock that wouldn't be helpful well then perhaps climb tree the tree is coated with a thin slimy film making it unclimbed bubble climb bumble okay I don't think I can follow the creature that way so I'm gonna go back this way this game I'm a little I've definitely like played it through a couple of times but I'm less familiar with this one than I am with like one and three so I might I might have to peek it a walk through every now and then but that's fine no one's gonna hate on me oh I remember this though okay so look this is another clearing in the otherwise heavily wooded area of the forest there's a plateau near the back look flat to [ __ ] I should have paid attention when they were writing that it is like other areas only raised a little a mailbox it's up there look mailbox you need to be closer all right well in the meantime I'll look ground the ground looks like everywhere else with the exception of some growths which look like spores or pods let's save because chances of those being friendly slim I rescued creature it good nice okay let's see here well you seem to have kicked one of these strange little spores and yep okay just as I suspected I am coughing I am hacking and I am die your kick cost some spores to open and spray a fine powder into the air as a result you were paralyzed from head to toe unable to move a single muscle help oh that actually is helpful whoops the okay I guess wait due to paralysis you are only capable of displacing hair huh am i dead am I not dead I think I'm dead my dad store let's just do this let's just do that although the image of me lying face down like that was quite funny um pick up Spore you take possession of one of the spores being careful not to mistakenly break it open okay good look spore this is one of the unopened spores great great great great um okay so let's go up here and I remember what we have to do with that mailbox which was one of the few things I was able to figure out as a kid and made me feel very accomplished okay this is taking a hot second so in the meantime I will just tell you that Space Quest 2 was one of those games that oh the foliage here is much too dense to play the two passer Space Quest who was one of those games that could infuriate you up you hear something it sounds not unlike the hovercraft he wrecked in that's not good they they could kill me for sure um I think what that beep was was a transmitting sound in the destroyed hovercraft and that's alerting the other bad guys to come and kill me but in the meantime let's look at this mailbox the mailbox looks typical for a mailbox there is a slot a tray and a sign read sign the sign says radical Express when it totally no doubt for sure has to be there a while previously excellent [Music] look slot the slot look much like an opening in the exterior of the mailbox through which a thin piece of mail might pass well then use order form on slot put form in [ __ ] you drop the order form into the box ah love old school computer sounds the mailbox hums and buzzes for a while then an object of some sort drops into the tray at the base of the box the machine goes silent look tray okay you always did understand it look object I don't think that's in view right now look mailbox mailbox okay look tray okay the tray is actually a small indentation in the lower part of the machine it is currently bearing what looks to be a whistle well that [ __ ] take whistle okay so this by the way is the whistle that the Android in Space Quest 3 comes after you for stealing like you didn't pay for it fully or some [ __ ] I don't remember but the Arnold Schwarzenegger Android from the Space Quest we play through that is that is the reason because if the whistle I just got in that little mailbox isn't that crate that [ __ ] cray alright so I'm going to save my again because we've been doing some stuff here got whistle from tray hey hey cool umm wonder if I can't whoops I keep doing that man so sorry so embarrassing umm let's see what help has to do what oh [ __ ] okay hewed alright so I have to I don't know if the hovercraft can get me here it might only be on that one screen but yeah they're just patrolling this area and if they catch me they will fly in out of nowhere zap the [ __ ] out of me there's nothing I can do and then I [ __ ] die and then ho okay I remember this quite well this is a huge pain in the ass I'm gonna just save that again okay so what I have to do is well first I'll look you are in another clearing in the forest this one seems to be occupied by a type of growth you are not familiar with goodbye little guy picking berries look growth it appears to be some kind of over developed route there's a pulsating growth near the middle which is connected to several meters of route like appendages so here is the [ __ ] of this thing I have to get back there and pick the berries in this goddamn situation all of these roots are electrified and if I touch any of them I [ __ ] die [Music] I'm trying to do the fast version of this but this actually huh requires a good deal of [ __ ] yeah see see how that happens that okay well great good you've succeeded in establishing contact with one of this planet's life-forms and it looks like you'll get to examine it up close and personal the giant root lookin thing is giving you a guided tour of its digestive system will you experience next is too horrible to describe let's just say that you die as a result you are dead trust me it may please you to know that during the night you didn't digest well for a while gastric distress made it extremely unpopular with the other root monsters okay cool another senseless tragedy okay well you know what I may have died but hey at least I made the monster that ate me all farty and bloated and then his friends made fun of him I'm into that definitely into that okay so let's try this again okay this is so tricky okay I'm just gonna here whoa oh you see that [ __ ] oh those Magic Mike fingers going up y'all Kudo sorry that's that something Aaron says but I'm very much a fan of it okay Oh baby ho baby ah and duck yes just [ __ ] you root man would you want your mother to hear you say that yeah she's fine with it cheap she's a she's a grownup okay look berries isn't this a sweet primitive time when berries were just like pixels like there's a berry the berries hanging on the bush looked quite juicy and smelled very pungent this was also the game where I learned what the word pungent meant because I looked that up right afterwards now I use it all the time pick berries yeah they could it pick it up pick it up pick it up pick you snag some of the odiferous red berries okay let's save it again because yeah if I die on the way back that will certainly be disappointing and embarrassing and also 60% likely yeah I think I think maybe 75 okay so here we go okay uh-huh uh-huh so I'm not saying much at this point I just wanna hurt Oh baby Oh feeling so good about myself oh [ __ ] I [ __ ] it up right as I was talking [ __ ] why'd I have to talk [ __ ] ah why did I talk [ __ ] okay here I go again in moments like this I like to recount the very intense scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indiana Jones is trying to figure out how to get through the trials um and he just watched dude get his head cut off before he goes so he realizes that they're a terrible sawblades happening wolf baby and the only clue he has is that only the penitent man shall pass so it goes back and forth between him and Sean Connery going only the penitent man shall pass and then he and Sean Connery are both penitent so I do that all the time and see if [ __ ] worked somebody save it penitent said hey spell penitent let's try it a different way pennant pen pen pen pad and okay we're good all right great that can sometimes take a long time so I'm quite pleased with myself that I uh that I got past it okay so now I'm a little unsure on where to go next foliage here's much too dense there's there's only a few more options but I mean believe it or not when I was a kid I never even got past this part of the forest like that's as far as I got you've now seen me in however long it's been solve as many puzzles as I as I could in like years of playing this is a kid how shameful does something happen when you lick the tree I feel like I understand lick okay climb tree feel like something happens you're not a good place to do that climb tree now isn't a good time for that well [ __ ] you man I'll climb I'll climb a tree whenever I want whatever well you know my dad you know my dad the foliage here is much too dense okay so in that case oh I hear something I have to hide look I know but hide say what all right I'm just gonna stay here that yep see there they are those dickbags but luckily they didn't oh did they see me nope that was a tense moment boat hauls tug failed to spire and it's off to search elsewhere that [ __ ] I was there the whole time great okay so now I think I have to go up here is that correct I don't know this place actually isn't that big it's not as big as it looks it's because so many places are walled off by the dense foliage as we have discussed before um oh hey bud look creature you see a small fleshy being he seems in a hurry to leave to be in a hurry to leave okay what look you are standing at the edge of an eerie swamp you can hear the croaks and moans of swamp life none of which you are eager to encounter okay I feel like yuck no that's sludgy I feel like there was something bad that happens here oh yeah oh oh yeah that's that's what it is that [ __ ] he'll follow me and he'll drag me down and kill the [ __ ] out of me I like that that's kind of a Star Wars move like when they're in the trash compactor in a new hope and you only see the things I but you're like oh that thing is big and awful oh I remember okay so that wood with the little pink I was doing was he was rubbing the berries on himself I forgot about that look berries the strange red berries pack a very pungent aroma rub berries on nub well it's just right on self there we go you rub the berries all over your body you now smell like a walking ammonia inhalants well that's great that's what I [ __ ] want it woof it is slow Goins here let's see help tab shows the status screen escape pops up menus pauses the game okay I don't think I mmm let's say let's try tab whoops okay well normally I would turn the game a little faster but the button that does that is now used to like get you out of the game and back to the internet that we're playing this thing on see it's it's chasing after me it's like [ __ ] you feel something slimy clamped down on your leg and almost to suddenly spit you back out you distinctly hear the sounds of aquatic gagging and retching evidently you had a bad aftertaste from the berries so I just saved myself if I didn't have that it would have just dragged me dead [ __ ] look eyes those goddamn thing son of a [ __ ] there there bro okay so there's a place in this in this swamp hmm I don't think it's here there's a place in the swamp where what you have steeped stepped into a deeper area of the swamp you are forced to swim okay this is what I look okay this is what I wanted to do take deep breath whoops you take a deep breath filling your lungs to near bursting and head for the depths below yes you got a dive baby underneath the water underneath the water Taha underneath the water huh so yeah I think um out of this world and a lot of a lot of later games got their idea of swimming underwater from this game I believe well I guess Super Mario did it too but I remember this feeling very like revolutionary like whoa I'm in an underground cave swimming through the slime water but what's this a light beyond yonder window breaking oh [ __ ] look at that look you are in a small grotto below the swamp a strange light dances off the walls of this cave its origin a glowing gem situated on top of a boulder take gem you take the glowing gem look gem the glowing gem provides a gentle illumination so now another fun fact from space quest 3 this is the hunk of aureum that I give to fester Blatz the gross backwoods alien salesman ok take deep breath and so that was just a really cool thing for me as a kid like the way these games connected together and you would succeed in one game and then like two years later the next one would come out and you still had the same stuff in your pockets and you're like whoa I remember that I'm so proud although this game I beat after I had beaten Space Quest 3 so I had the whoa that's where that's from kind of reaction instead which was pretty cool so now I'm covered in swamp water I already stink of berries which make me too disgusting to even be eaten by a swamp creature and life is good now I'm cruising to the other side of the swamp with my determined swinging fists of power oh my country there it is okay I love it okay we made it we're out of that grotto a swampy area we're out of the main jungle ah all right let's save that because we did stuff got gem it's truly outrageous cool as a gem in the Holograms reference by the way like we are the misfits our songs are better we are the misfits and we're going to get her yeah check out Jem and the Holograms really really powerful cartoon you're in a lightly forested area a large fissure nearby seems to lead straight down look tree this tree is dead the bark must have fallen off years ago it bears no foliage well isn't it certainly um serendipitous that a dead tree would be right on the edge of a cliff there isn't much to see as you may have noticed so perhaps I'll push the tree I would know perhaps all climb the tree this tree is dead and seems to be free of the slick secretions some of the others generate you begin to shimmy your way up the ocean your way up the snag ah Sh it's been a while since I've had a good snack shimmying all right crack oof holy log jams Batman you almost ate the big one okay look you are in a lately okay we know that oh okay that's how I'm moving got it thought there would be something more special to it hmm I don't trust any area this open you were in a thinly forested area just east of the Fisher okay so let's just let me look at those mountains those are pretty mountains in the back it's a long way down and you can't see anything of note look trees yes you see before you a tree cool thanks guys ah [ __ ] dicks our dicks yikes you have been snared suspended above the ground you are unable to move freely well [ __ ] balls this is an issue I'm having an ish not right now okay cry now right now yell not right now after a while the cerebral fireworks begin capillaries begin to burst under the strain you pass out once again time passes and then some more time passes while unconscious you have the strangest of dreams you imagine that your name is Larry you are wearing something known as a leisure suit apparently made of 100% synthetic materials and proven to generate large amounts of static electricity oh yeah sweet leisure suit larry reference while prowling the locale alone is the land of the Lounge Lizards you spend your time badgering women of the area to participate in bizarre mating rituals such as just then consciousness begins to creep in your head begins to clear and you realize that you have been imprisoned your captor appears to be that large sitting near the fire look oh the hunter looks look you are in a well-hidden clearing it is surrounded on three sides by large smooth rock formations with brush to the north a cage a cage is below one of the formations you are currently in it okay pardon me for one second while I take a small sip of water all right in the center of the campfire look in the center a campfire burns one has to wonder about the purpose of such a fire during a warm day as this a rope a rope sits on one of the boulders a large beast is nearby okay look Beast the hunter looks hungry okay um look cage the cage is made of some very hard branches they might as well be welded steel bars alright I know what to do yell the hunter seems to ignore you yeah yeah [ __ ] come check this out the hunter stands and takes a long look in your direction his face those strange in its own right but as an expression one might see on a freakshow patron he moves closer I am going to throw the spore and knock this dick out ya [ __ ] Hey upon impact with the ground the spore opens and spews its dust in the air the hunter falls to the ground paralyzed search hunter you search the large not to mention unclenched body of the hunter you find a key which might unlock the cage other than that you find only a few assorted parasites clinging to him take key you reach through the bars and take possession of the key use key on cage say what use key how would you like to do that Oh use key on lock that does not compute um open cage with key Oh God open door with key come on unlock cage with key you slipped the key into the lock and give it a turn the lock snaps open of course he's still he's awake now great you have caused the guard to be paralyzed I don't think he's pleased with you well [ __ ] dicks man like that Oh busy worrying about semantics the hunter has decided that it's the perfect day for a barbecue as he slowly turns you over the fire you begin to turn a beautiful golden brown oh that is nice death follows at an agonizingly long distance ok great way to go wingnut once again you've demonstrated an inability to sustain life you quickly glanced around the room to see if anyone saw you blow it thank you for playing space quest - Danny you've been swell to watch have a nice day no it's not that easy oh man good thing I good thing I saved it fairly recently ok so climb tree Skoosh Skoosh Skoosh couch and Down Goes the trizol okay and we're good wonder what happens when I'm like super low to the ground I mean I'm sure that snare gets me no matter what but I always kind of wondered but nope nevermind alright well that's super clear it's super obvious yikes you have been snared suspended above the ground you are unable to move freely great great great great I know capillaries passing out all that [ __ ] yeah ah this game definitely makes you pay for it if you don't save constantly okay so let's do this yell yell come on [ __ ] throw Spore Choki Choki take ki reach the boys take possession of the key unlock door with key you slip the key into the lock and give it a turn the lock snaps open maybe i'll go ahead and open the door okay great kick body mmm kick I really want to kick this guy kick Beast all right fine I won't kick it takes poor whoops the Spence boar would be of no use to you now okay um well that's rope so I need that take rope you grab the rope all right I am [ __ ] out of here baby he's [ __ ] Oh hmm oh dear I remember getting shot here once before so I'm not gonna do that let me get get the hell back okay so that's that's a weird kind of thing I remember from playing this game through the first time that's the end of the world right there Wow oh I got scared okay so it took me a little while to figure out what to do here but what you have to do is you have to climb on the tree and then tie the rope to the tree not the three the tree you'll have to between the stump and the log Oh tie rope to stump you are not near a good place to tie the rope huh okay tie rope to stump look at that I didn't know that I thought you could only tie it to the log that's cool climb down rope yeah you head over the edge and down the rope oh well this looks friendly okay this looks like another excellent save opportunity oh [ __ ] my [ __ ] Oh No not cut my [ __ ] no I'll do it out okay so uh Wow looks like I made the right move you release your grip on the rope this has a negative effect on your resistance to the urging of gravity great let's restore okay look you are on a shear sided gorge suspended on a rope between the two rock faces there is a mammoth member of the local fauna to the right it looks to be in constant need of nourishment hence the look being cast you um the looking cast you yeah that makes grammatical sense okay so look beast he's a hearty sized fellow you would guess him to be quite the energy guzzler his stare suggests serious caloric lust okay huh oh [ __ ] was the stomach not good enough looks like that stemple isn't a good thing to tie to well damn look at that huh now I know [Music] alright let's climb back up take rope take rope okay log climb log okay okay tie rope hey tie rope to log cool climb down alright here we go again so okay swing rope alright I'm going to have to release my grip on the rope at just the right moment it gets a little harrowing gets a little harrowing the closer I get to the monster perched directly on the edge of the cliff Oh God oh god no mmm-hmm here it is here we go get ready for it feeling it happen get no gay getting a little close okay oh I think I can get away with one more one more again now yes [ __ ] you dude yeah I would look beasts nope look Beast I want to hear like a satisfying like he's mad oh no okay all right well eat dicks [ __ ] I'm out of here okay um look being as dark as it is in here there isn't much to see you do see light coming from the east okay so if I walk through this room while it's dark not only will it be hard to find my way but I will definitely die so I'm gonna take out the gem use gem it's fine where it is take out Jim use gem there it is okay I just had be in the darkness you take out the gem and hold it in your palm the room is illuminated by its glow you hear a small shriek and the sound of many footsteps moving away from you yeah that whatever that was that I just scared away with the light that's what would have eaten me without question so good look at this I can't even get around these rocks étoile while they're in full [ __ ] visibility oh there we go alright making my way through the caves I always like the way they did caves in these Sierra games so simple but whoa the ground below your feet disappears who tumble down through the darkness cool I'm here now okay that was a rather spectacular entrance all systems seem to be intact though alright look you are at the bottom of a steep Gorge almost totally surrounded by impassable Rock there's an opening to the southeast the walls extend up a great distance there are two more of those pink guys here you wonder what they're up to oh hey guys uh talk the dwelling the dwellers mumble something the translator responds with follow us beanpole they hurry away oh okay well there's my gem so let me take that gem and there's a pile of rocks so let me take a rock there's nothing here by that name which can be acquired look rocks it it kind of looks like a boulder damn get it Boulder Dam sorry bad joke okay great pick up rock no you sure I'm gonna need a rock feel like I'm remembering a rock here [Music] pick up Rock oh my god listen you know me I screw the rakh let me just check one more time search rubble no not Roble novel search rocks it's that computer all right look Rox no all right fine fine fine I'll find another way god damn it f my life your effing my life away Space Quest that's what you're doing oh hello well welcome to our Canyon you look to be from out of town on behalf of all of us I would like to thank you for saving our compadre from the hunters you're welcome to stay in the canyon as long as you like when you are ready to leave simply say the word and my assistants will show you the only way out for a being of your size when you leave however we must seal the exit behind you for our own protection goodbye and good luck thank you one guy with hair and a tie okay well that's why you're the chief I need to take a rock take rock you are not constructed in a manner that will allow you to do anything to the boulders you might get those little pink guys to move one of them hmm okay tell you what I'm gonna take a little break and ooh excuse me um how's your breather have something to drink real quick and I shall return it'll still be this one long episode but I shall return momentarily thank you and we're back hello okay um just had myself a little nap I actually did I feel much better now okay so it's time to give the word to these guys say word and they move that and off I go [ __ ] that's right okay do not adjust your television screens I have to put the jam in my mouth uh my mouth see there we go bah better okay so yeah it's super dark I'm gonna use a walkthrough for this part just cuz like whoops didn't mean to push that just because this could take a while you kind of have to like fumble around in the dark for a little bit and make sure oh oh God oh excuse me I feel bad for whoever has to use this microphone next okay so let's go down the ladder all the way yeah if you stay if you stay in the maze too long okay suddenly an inhuman guttural moan echoes through the narrow caves you're not sure which direction it came from the only thing you do know for sure is that you've just soiled your undergarment well lucky for me I have an athletic supporter as a spare I yeah if you go the wrong way or stay in these caves too long a squid comes out and eats you and that's not [ __ ] cool so we're just gonna let's see follow this path and then as soon as we hit a ladder going down yeah like this one we're gonna go down until we can go left or right did it ha okay okay and then go right all the way oh yeah this would have taken for [ __ ] ever I don't have the time for this [ __ ] go down the ladder all the way go right until you hit another ladder so yet this was when you would have to like in in the olden times you would have to basically just trial and error this a million different ways and like basically set up a notebook with with a pen and kind of map out each place as you go which was kind of fun in its own way but you know [ __ ] my god man I'm 38 years old I got [ __ ] to do so I go left past two letters go down the third ladder until you can go left or right and then go right all the way can you see how this would have taken an unnecessarily long amount of time there's actually the Space Quest guys loved their mazes the most insane and unnecessary maze is in Space Quest 5 which is actually my favorite Space Quest I'm sure we'll play it on the show someday but that one man freaking like that that actually uh how gorgeous that maze in that game actually makes me want to vomit blood and butt kill myself you have an opportunity to stand and spare your tender knees the crystal-clear water gives off a gentle glow in abundance it is able to light the room you take the glowing gem from between your aching jaws you notice it is overly moist as you slip it into your pocket how nice okay look this is a very pretty scene this place is amazing beautiful subterranean waterfalls and cascades drop before you filling the air with billions and billions of tiny misty droplets which tickle the cilia the air is thick with revitalizing humid freshness this message is also getting a little thick nice ok I guess it was well first of all I'll save it so we don't have to do that again if I die I forgot Oh cut my [ __ ] it's been a little while in real time beautiful caves like the butt of oh no I was gonna say of an angel but we'll just have to go with beautiful caves like the but so I'm gonna slide into this pool maybe I can drink some of this water well it looks refreshing in a way you are slightly reluctant to drink water that glows maybe some other time you know what good [ __ ] catch guys I'm also down with uh with that sickness okay so oh [ __ ] I cannot quite remember which of these caverns to take I'm gonna try the right one first uh one is definitely death as with any choice in a Sierra game one of them is a horrible death and the other is maybe you'll live so let's sit here yes this is the good one as you enter another of the mysterious subterranean chambers you realize that the water is now racing toward a giant whirlpool in the middle of the area you are caught in the strong current powerless to alter your course alter my course okay great well you just said it to me so who's the [ __ ] now space quest - your body is sucked down until finally you are able to resist no more and must yield to the overwhelming force I love that vomiting waterfall guy it's just like huh jeez that was quite a trip peering around you find yourself back in the open again look wall I don't think that's in view right now look found 10 understand fountain look rocks the rocks in this region are all gray and fairly rounded there appears to be nothing of interest about them really nothing of interest the fact that it is a huge vomiting giant man well whatever these things happen by the way just so you guys know the sound is on in this game it is just a very quiet game okay and here we go there oh yes that's right so let's look you are in a little clearing which is surrounded by large boulders and impenetrable brush there is water in which you entered yes there is water in which you entered at the bottom left you can just see a landing platform in the distance look platform oh no you don't look platform that does not appear to be in here to view okay great look rock the rocks in this region are all gray and fairly rounded okay there appears to be nothing interesting so here's the deal this actually took me a long time to figure out this is one of those moments in a cieariy game where when all else fails and it just feels like nothing is going on you check your inventory and you remember oh that's right I got a whistle earlier I wonder what the [ __ ] that does look whis ttle the whistle is usual looking okay so you blow it you blow the [ __ ] whistle you give the whistle a toot it makes an odd sound probably not unlike a toot you hear an incredible whirring and grinding sound coming from the north I have just called a lay beyond terror beast suddenly a lay beyond terror beast buzzes into the room like a tornado like Dragon bow and he looks like he could do as much damage as one oh a tornado yeah I like him he's like and then he just [ __ ] up everything in his path which is why I am currently in the water so there's a lot of like little things here like three in a row that you have to get right that took me a while to understand one is to blow the whistle in the first place the second is to throw the puzzle cube because he loves puzzles for some reason you can't do that while swimming you're lucky if you can think and breathe simultaneously great okay so let me just go ahead and wait for him to whiz on by okay all right maybe I'll just give him a little more room ah geez man he's really huh you chucked the cubits route puzzle over to the Beast oh the beast appears interested in your offering curiosity gets the better of him as he reaches down for it he seems quite perplexed by the puzzling plastic polyhedron and he is [ __ ] all into it talk beast it's not much of a talker kiss Beast I don't understand your request yes you do touch Beast say what search Beast [ __ ] this great okay so he's all into that that's thing too and the third thing which is very easy to overlook is this little pile of rocks look rocks the rocks and there's a motive oh look rubble look pile in the pile of debris lies a stone there you go that's the stone I was looking for back earlier because I knew I needed one so pick up stone that's pretty easy one to miss you pick up a small rock generated during the terror beasts grand entrance OOP got it look stone it looks like an ordinary stone other rocks in view include many large boulders one with a hole bored through it okay and now I just kind of slide through this [ __ ] and now is an important thing that I must do this is basically a David and Goliath situation the guys up there he's got a gun if he spots me I'm dead but I have to get to that door on the right side on the on the right post um so I need to kill that dude from a distance so what I must do is use rock in my aesthetic supporter let's see put rock in supporter that act would lack any serious gratification I never know how to phrase this sling rock with jockstrap I laugh at that [ __ ] works oh great you send the rock flying into the bushes you hear it land okay that didn't work pick up rock okay well oh well hmm I got problems i got problems over here pick up rock there's only a pile of dust left well [ __ ] dicks there another way to kill this guy nope yep okay alright he's telling me that time I have been fried dang allowing the guard to observe you was not very Swift he has disassembled you probably adding a little excitement to his otherwise dull day well good for him at least he got some joy out of it okay so let's restore okay oh geez I gotta swim through this [ __ ] again no [ __ ] dick bags well you know what it's just a little more time I get to spend with my friends the lovelies how are you guys doing you good everything going well in your life no kidding tell me more he did not what that's crazy I can't believe it I can't believe it well don't you don't have to take that [ __ ] from anyone no you you are a beautiful young man or woman okay fine whatever I like yes well I also enjoy waffles okay we're back at the whirlpool all right so now I'm gonna fly through this one more time real quick Matt and Ryan to spice this up I don't know which one of you is doing this but as Roger Wilco goes down the whirlpool can you add a toilet flushing sound effect thank you thank you so much you like look that really added a lot I enjoyed it okay so these are the moments in Sierra games where I mean Erin always accuses me of being a grandma with the amount of times I save but these are the moments like it's not even that like you'll die but you can very easily just do something stupid that ruins your entire game huh so let's blow that whistle again okay and throw okay hello hello and off he goes Chuck in the cube puzzle all right he soups into it as always I never could do rubik's cube puzzles there's I was watching this one video of like these kids who can do it in four seconds like not just the dexterity of it but the understanding of it and they're they're damn mathematical brains are incredible pick up rock meanwhile I'm like pick up rock okay slang rock at guard whoops slang Rock hat God there we go BAM [ __ ] look right in the [ __ ] head you cleverly used the athletic supporter to sling the rock at the guard it makes serious contact with the side of his head we like the way you think yeah [ __ ] he drops like a lead parakeet the ripe thud of impact is momentarily sickening he is perfectly still well he got to have fun last time and I had got to have fun killing him this time so let's stroll right on over and see what's up with this dude uh look body I don't think that's in view right now I think it is search body you find nothing look guard the guard is quite unconscious it looks like he'll be out for a while they just make super sure search guard you find nothing okay and we're in so we'll just leave that dude there to bleed for a while look door the elevator is nothing spectacular to look at on the left side as a thin slot oh yeah I have a key card use key card that is not are you sure use key card in slot say what - I'm out of a key card inventory I got a key [ __ ] use card and [ __ ] say what [ __ ] look door the elevators nothing specs I look [ __ ] it's very narrow use key card on door uh-huh use key card in slot what why what's happening all right hold on all I'll consult a walkthrough because this we obviously have some kind of semantic things okay it says insert card you say okay come on that's silly guys programming a couple more whoops looks like close down my hand there as soon as the elevator door closes behind you the platform on which you rest begin to rise begins to rise hmm Here I am up here okay look ship it look it looks just like the shuttle that brought you here well [ __ ] great get in ship you recall from when you landed the entry hatch being on the rear left of the shuttle you'll have to move a little god damn it well let me look at this Vista first you were on the landing platform a shuttle sits quietly nearby you see lush growth all around oh how pretty this planet is quite beautiful for an 8-bit whatever you'd call it um enter ship open enter Shh your legs will take you where you want to go in most cases oh maybe it means no oh oh yeah the left side of the ship sorry I was looking I was thinking stage left okay enter ship you open the hatch and get in Hey look at those graphics hi have a little bit of a monkey face it's fine look around you are inside a shuttle cockpit there is an instrument panel before you between your legs as a throttle you [ __ ] know it you can see the local treetops okay look panel everything looks automatic the panel is loaded with clusters of system status status indicators there's a power button an attitude dial and an ascent thruster button alright I guess all push power OOP excellent everything lit up that's what I'm into turn the attitude dial you think they meant altitude but maybe they actually mean attitude the attitude dial is now set to vac I don't know what that means but it can only be good and what was the last thing look panel ascent thrusters push thruster understand your request push ascent thruster button boom the shuttle begins to vibrate as the ascent thrusters ignite oh yeah um do I have to do something pull throttle yeah there we go ascent thrusters ready attitude system vertical control forward descend back ascend that's easy enough press a key all right well I'm just gonna keep ascending until we get into [ __ ] space how about that [ __ ] we're already the clouds nope more clouds let's take a little peek monitor glows on the left there third of the console look monitor okay that that looks right you're off the planet good work Danny oh thank you game that a tone sounds a soft synthesized voice notes that adequate altitude has been achieved ascent thrusters are now ineffective the monitor draws your attention again press a key oh I'm in space now okay so I guess I have to turn the attitude dial num now it's set to hack horizontal so I'll push the throttle look at me figuring things out and look at the space look at me moving through the space there oh that's that's pretty neat right there oh gosh well I guess this is the end of the game [ __ ] can never mind the screens are suddenly splashed with the incredibly horrible image of sludge vocal goddamn it hello dad hello Danny what if I said I am Oh Bain I've been waiting through once again my subordinates have failed me anyway it looks like you'll be visiting me again soon don't bother trying to pilot the vehicle I've taken control you will be arriving in my command post shortly I anxiously await your arrival he closes with a chilling laugh sounds like that his image is frozen on the screens the ship changes course as if it had a life of its own all you can do is hang on well I certainly do seem concerned take and off throttle okay I guess it doesn't matter what happens if I try to pull throttle you feel the ship bank well as Bohol stated nothing works great I'm [ __ ] oh yeah it does appear that I'm going backwards now oh and there's his ship just marvelous man that thing was [ __ ] right there just hovering over the planet waiting for me to escape just so it could [ __ ] thrust bust my nuts through the window you see your apparent destination BOE halls asteroid and back in we go you know what I never quite noticed but your ship does look like a little bit like a suppository and that you know what I don't know if that was intentional but it's quite funny now that I look at it oh baby so here we are on vocals asteroid this this is where the rest of the game will take place basically the massive bay doors meet jarring the entire vehicle back as you step down the shuttle door slams shut behind you you are quite surprised not to find several of Voe halls guards waiting to greet you you begin to ponder what the twisted scientist might have in store for you all right so let's save the game and now I'm on ship [ __ ] dicks Oh No [Music] okay so it's time to start wandering around this [ __ ] see what I can see this ship is actually pretty damn big and I can't get into that cool-looking generator room yet but I can do a little exploring look you are in a small capsule shaped enclosure above the door as a digital readout which reads level 1 the only other feature is a rectangular panel look panel the panel has a vertical row of four buttons there is some small engraving at the bottom edge of the panel look engraving read engraving the engraving reads Bob Cole if division a subsidiary of Bob Co incorporated universally famous makers of nads hamster tape first of all I like that because nad is my name backwards and secondly I love the idea of hamsters being mashed down into a fine paste and then converted into tape boldly go where no man has gone before truth look at oh push button one eye look panel Virgo of okay look buttons the buttons look ordinary each button has a word next to it in order they are one three four and five okay maybe I guess we're on to push one aren't you glad no one saw that the digital readout shows the number one the trick here is to push the button to push the number of a floor other than this one otherwise it's no fun well [ __ ] I figure alright never mind you people get where ice where I was coming from push three level one level two level three okay Here I am you have the funny feeling you're being watched well [ __ ] look this section of hall dead ends there is an elevator on the back wall and a camera attached to the ceiling okay look camera there was a surveillance camera mounted on the ceiling it looks to be quite basic it appears to be pointing right at you oh yeah maybe it's mmm that is an old-school camera too it's quite funny for anyone who Oh God goodness knees gonna sneeze ah I went to a bow craft amusement park like a year and a half ago with my buddy Adam that was like my childhood like hangout Park and it hasn't been touched and forever and it had one of those old school cameras you can check it out in an old posting on my Instagram did a my gonna be a dick and pimp my own Instagram on this show you better believe it I'm at danny underscore underscore Avedon avi da n find me on instagram and send me boobs doesn't matter if they're your boobs just any boobs will do okay so look you are in a tubular hallway there is a door on the side wall push button okay aha you know a janitorial closet when you smell one almost at once you sense an emptiness a melancholy longing you begin to feel homesick uh look room it's quite dark in here you do find a plunger however uh well [ __ ] take the plunger baby not the puncher but the plunger okay got me a plunger yeah gonna save it boom okay cuz I can't remember what's on certain parts of this ship and you can definitely [ __ ] die look windows all you can see are billions and billions of stars ah nice little Carl Sagan reference I like that okay so I'm just strutting along this ship is pretty freakin massive look no breakthroughs in interior design to report it's just one of those many to Blake sections of this custom asteroid okay thought that wall might have some kind of thing going on there but I guess not it kind of look like doors you could open or something like that oh I suppose that was it for this level all right well time to head down just a wee bit further I'll push for let's see what what joys await us down in for boy that camera oh I love it I love the way it creeps me the [ __ ] out and gives me an impending sense of doom and death so great well huh let's scare the [ __ ] out of me look no look robot oh okay look robot it's nothing gonna follow me here yeah there's an automated floor waxer moving down the corridor the name plaque reads the dáil doh buff master or the delito must I don't know both master another fine product from helmet master enterprises Oh helmet master might be a dick reference that I did not pick up on as a child all right so let me let that thing cruise by me and then go and I mean this thing will be after me but I can cruise look at that look at the speed at which I walk powerfully so much determination arms are swinging it's the best Oh forgot that for oh wait oh there's a men's room and a ladies room push button oh geez oh boy okay poof finally made it to the bathroom I love the different looking alien feet in the stalls you have stepped into a porcelain Palace of sorts it is obviously a restroom a place which in an interesting fashion serves to exhibit the physical diversity of the universe the walls are covered in an easy to hose down synthetic material attached to them and in various locations are devices designed to efficiently collect waste products from the life forms which are able to physically match up to them on the back wall or stalls three of them are in use judging by the various feet which show beneath the stall doors to the left or sinks okay let's see look stall this one looks like a quad port high performance urinal manifold especially useful for those multitudinously equipped also used in a pinch by up to four single digit beings when the path there in the place is really packed into it look mirror darn another pimple Oh wash hands the faucets are at operational Bohol didn't seem big on personal hygiene oh well let's see here open door closed door sit okay oh look at this drop in the deuce you slide your uniform pants down and settle onto the cool ring you go through whatever emotions might be normal for you during this act refreshed you grab your pants and compose yourself uh flush why no one else has and it would probably be risky to attempt without a flotation device handy well okay take toilet paper how about that yeah there we go look stall the inside of the stall is a sight to behold there is writing of various languages itched on the walls the floor has an interest in coding of some type of congealed dreck it appears that the toilet may have been white once a toilet paper dispenser hangs on one wall look wall the grimy wall has writing on it read writing the writing etched on the wall is in various languages one large message reads voll halls mother where's stellar Patrol boots well one large message reads vocal plays text adventures oh [ __ ] text adventures were one rung down from this you know at the time so they're just talking [ __ ] the writing on the wall reads okay there's no holes mother again okay I feel like there must be another oh one mark large messages sir Graham cross dresses ah the sound comes from one of the occupied stalls you think suddenly one of your senses downloads an extremely negative air quality report for some reason the name John springs to mind damn Ken was here so is Al but we had to repaint afterwards okay great they're making in jokes about Ken Williams and alo creator of leisure suit larry let me try to get one more ah came in here to unleash a beast just to find my colon creased oh wow that's beautiful okay so let's open the door and get out of here let's this uh mr. litt back here this one is interesting it has a bi-level arrangement with with an upper opening chin height Oh about little with the upper opening about chin height on you you might be careful about getting too close hopefully you'll not run into the being this fits yeah actually yeah definitely not looking for that to dict situation oh is this the entrance to the ladies room over here that's really funny they're the same goddamn room outstanding oh [ __ ] okay but I got the toilet paper which I believe was my one goal there oh so now I must push them get ready to push this button before this thing flattens me Oh open up there it is search room that does not compute look it's quite dark in here on the floor you notice a glass cutter take glass cutter okay now I'm behind this thing I wonder if it will let me I'm just gonna get this ready just in case cool you won't come back that would make me very happy because otherwise I'll have to run all the way back into the glass cutter closet yay okay sweet in that case I'll save because we made it through the chamber of a thousand toots - to our tank oh well so close alright push five alright we're cruising right along heading down to the very basement of this ship so intense god knows what horrifying monstrosity as they have down here wonder why I couldn't get to level two maybe that's also on the hello dear look the hallways on this level are the same as above with the exception of some type of cages an occasional strange noise is heard the smell here is stifling apparently the holding cells are not well kept okay look cage as is common in all periods of cage design vertical bars of sturdy nature dominate the appearance they look quite impenetrable one of them has some fur wrapped around a couple sections of bar well let's see youch you feel alarmingly dense apparently you were a prime focal point for some aggression channeling by one of the caged creatures your compressed composition indicates that your attacker possesses considerable strength a good guy to avoid in the future of course you are damaged beyond repair and the game must end you've made quite a bit of progress though don't start screwing up now okay maybe I won't thanks for playing thank you let's see [Music] okay so back we are here again push five okay so I believe that everything that is and comes out of those cages excuse me will kill me so I'm just gonna scoot on past that section as quickly as possible oh I do remember what happens here okay so this the secondary cage I don't think anything's in there but I believe is there another row of cages yes [ __ ] dicks okay oh no one of the cells is opening who knows what unspeakable horror waits behind those steel bars all right I'm just gonna try to outrun this thing basically it's a [ __ ] alien but with big kissy lips and I did not know her I did not get that joke oh push button oh it comes right in there uh-oh oh well you can't really see it but it kisses me Oh yuck the dark and spiny beasts with massive red lips grabs you up and after a long and glance proceeds don't read further if the phrase French kiss bothers you to plant a very moist French kiss on you you are left quite stunned okay so I thought that was no big deal because I hadn't seen alien the first time I played this but basically now I'm [ __ ] I will play the game for like 20 minutes or whatever and then an alien explodes out of me so rather than do that I'm just gonna friggin restore and I'm gonna go back to the chamber of thousand toots and you know what I'm gonna go this way and come at that door from the other side and that way I will avoid that alien altogether although I I I do think that's a cute thing that they threw in there it's definitely one of the things I thought about when I thought about Space Quest too I was like oh yeah the one with the kissy alien there was like it was just something funny about it that stood out probably because it's so insane and so dumb kind of reminds me of Spaceballs if anyone has seen that where they have that alien seeing where'd they get John Hurt the guy from the original alien movie he eats bad food at a space diner and then an alien explodes out of his chest and he's like oh no not again it's really [ __ ] funny and then the little alien does like a little hello my baby hello my honey you probably have to look it up online for that to make sense but also I saw that Spaceballs movie before I saw alien so that was my first exposure to anything related to alien and as a result I left the theater in Spaceballs when I was like 8 years old when we saw that I left the theater like very upset it wasn't like a comedy to me at all cuz like the thing that stuck with me the most was the [ __ ] alien so scary and they don't kill it it just gets away oh now I think it's friggin hilarious okay let me get the push button thing all set and should be pretty much good to go I think let's see here okay look it is quite dark in here there is a small wastebasket on the floor next to it is a pair of crusty work overalls take basket okay aren't you amazed by how much stuff an adventure game hero can carry you just gotta know how to pack that's the truth and take overalls you pick up the overalls they are very small and quite worn out not to mention filthy and of no use to you you toss them back on the floor as you set them down something falls to the floor look floor whoops you see some filthy overalls and a lighter ah take lighter okay umm great so let's say this cool I feel good about what we're doing here there's no immediate threat but in Sierra games as I'm sure I've said before it can be kind of dangerous to like just keep saving over the most recent save file because it certainly is very possible to save in such a way that like you save right before you're gonna die and then that save file is totally useless and you're like screwed forever ah what fun I can't get enough of the pain okay so back to floor 1 I believe 4 3 2 you take my word for it and one okay OOP don't want to fall to my death on this thing because that is definitely on the menu that can certainly happen okay so the reason I went left and right first is because if I'm if my memory serves me correctly I face a conundrum when I save one more time go this way gets a little tricky yes the door behind you closes solidly yeah barrier springs up before you and another barrier stands in your way okay you feel the floor shift below you it's moving to the left that's not good ah mmm Dix look floor the floor is moving beneath it is what you guessed to be a pool of highly lethal liquid Oh a sledge of Oh Hall you dickbag so the trick here is to use the plunger on the wall but you don't want to use it too quickly because you only have so much arm strength because of your weak janitorial custodial body frame so you want to let it get like pretty close to your feet seize and oh crap use a plunger Oh dick hmm how do I want to phrase this let me just check this real quick bump up a bud wait for it oh okay yeesh can I do this in time stick plunger on wall oh whoa that was very close using formerly uncharacteristic creativity you apply the suction cup like plunger to the smooth metal finish and hang on for dear life once a janitor always a janitor boom baby oh that's a tough way to go that's into the acid pool okay [Music] get down remove plunger from wall okay hmm release grip perhaps okay you release your grip and drop back down okay so the plungers gone but what the [ __ ] ever let's save that cuz that worked okay ah now what you are an attractive tube shaped region region of the asteroid well it is quite lovely I must say ah [ __ ] look what is that this section of the corridor is aligned with wall BOTS there was a door to the right now [ __ ] balls okay as that wall but still following me yes it is how marvelous um hopefully there is nothing going on over here Oh more wall BOTS marvellous okay well you know what I'm gonna see if there's a way okay if you won't follow me here maybe I can do something nope okay they just they just [ __ ] show up great [Music] let's try this again because I know what I have to do all right look ceiling the ceiling looks ordinary except for some fixtures that look like sprinklers okay so here's what I got to do I've got to put down the wastebasket okay I guess I'm gonna have to do this fast okay so put toilet paper in basket okay put basket on floor there it is uh and use the lighter on the toilet paper okay light paper on fire there you go baby that took a long time to figure out but there's those lovely sprinkling system situations happening while receiving a nice hosing yourself the basket fire is extinguished seconds later a loud series of pops is followed by the smell of fried electronics mmm fried electronics take a sprinkler sense accomplishment and cease operation take basket it's of no use to you now well [ __ ] it then I'll leave it right there someone else can clean that [ __ ] up your fire and subsequent showers seems to have shorted out the burnished bullies look wall BOTS the huge metal menaces are specifically designed to secure a given area we're not busy they are plunged into the wall they are plugged into the wall excuse me recharging imagine what the Niek ads would cost for those puppies I do not understand that reference that's okay I'll look it up later okay let's see what's in here oh [ __ ] you have just entered Bohol secret chamber the evil one himself is seated before a large console high on a platform in the center of the room standing obliviously ready are many of the dreaded salesman clones that is the most absurd take over the world scheme I've ever heard and I frigging love it uh he spotted me his is escaped orange or blue he needs to decide so show Danny we meet again I must say I'm quite impressed with your resourcefulness tenacity I'd love to chat but I'm busy preparing this the last of my salesman clones for that trip to Zenon feel free to stick around and observe the downfall of your civilization ha karma huh Karma ha exclamation point close quote okay I'm gonna save it here [ __ ] this guy [ __ ] okay um I'll stop you sludge but first I'll look at the salesman look salesman these guys are your worst nightmare come true imagine hundreds of John Davidson's and magnetically hazardous polyester polyester suits the color alone capable of rendering helpless lien firm topped with perma bound hair the face splashed with that let me win you over smile he's a master guilt Smith programmed with one intent sell sell sell each are encased in pre-programmed impervious transport capsules oh that is a bad scene man all right time to face sludge vocal look sludge I don't understand going somewhere ha ha ha no is that bad oh well well [ __ ] is in this just a big whole bunch of dicks as soon as you step on the platform you were struck by a beam of light emitted from a unit in the ceiling in a matter of seconds you are broken down into micro particles and extracted from the air [ __ ] well [ __ ] well he just had that he just had a shrinking ray just at the ready whatever again the beam strikes this time blasting into a glass jar on the console it is there that you are molecular Li reconstructed in a miniaturized form hell yeah love it well I'll be darned well I'll be darned my miniaturization beam does work volha voice booms in the old days I'd test these things on myself but as you may have noticed my appearance being my own guinea pig has had its vintage I'm shy again but as you may have noticed by my appearance being my own guinea pig has had its disadvantages I guess this will keep you out of my way once and for all you'll make a nice conversation piece with that Bohol turns away to put finishing touches on Zenon's fate hmm well push glass okay well it just so happens that I got a [ __ ] glass cutter so yes hell yes boom tink the newly cut pane of glass falls to the counter apparently Bohol doesn't notice excellent let's save real quick okay all right so now I just have to [ __ ] sneak around in his control panel and wreak some [ __ ] havoc because I'm pretty sure if I type some okay Darrin Danny I guess is Lardon us got a little fed up with your meddling you've been redesigned once again revealing a permanent overhead view you resemble one of those wonderfully colorful mosaics commonly found on windshields boy that is for just a bunch of pixels that is pretty violent looking it has been a pleasure watching you play space quest too I am a little pile of GU all right restore the game okay cool all right so noted I can't go that far look you are on the surface of a console a large compared to you jar sits in the middle a hole has been cut near the side in the side there's some events near the back perhaps I can climb in vent yes you wiggle your slim carcass through the vent caution look judging from those two hoses coming in from the outside you guess that this is the inner workings of Voe halls life-support system a respirator pumps oxygen into his lungs while the pump on the back wall force his blood through filters there was also a sign on the back wall read sign the sign says caution press button for emergency shutoff ah I love that a life-support system has an emergency shutoff button push button yes suck it dude way to go Danny you've just disconnected volha life-support system he's a goner without it yes climb out vent you can see Volvo struggling to take his last few breaths now do you again you think you have won oh geez sorry not you again you think you have won he wheezes but all you have done is to see your own fate he reaches up and flips a switch on the far end of the console before dropping to the floor dead oh man I wish I could have seen that but that's okay his ass is dead and that's what really matters um let's walk upon over here not typing anything yet look you are walking on another section of the control console there was a large switch on the back panel a keyboard is at your feet pull switch reduce or enlarge enlarge please type the word you want well I'll do that type enlarge Oh good thing I'm a master jumper up the enlarging sequence has begun I guess it's going back in the UM in the little glass case yep there it is oh I wonder if I'm going to get [ __ ] squished enlarging out of this thing maybe it'll just explode because there's so much man in me yes oh no it's gonna move me cool hooray oh that is one dead Volvo fantastic I did it you are once again reconstituted this time this time of the correct size you notice that the clones are gone oh [ __ ] he sent them okay look Bohol balls dead hulking slab of flesh is loosely arranged at the base of the chair search chair that does not compute look share it looks like a darn nice chair however there does seem to be a distinct outline where both halls bloated bunk bulk once nestled look body search body an examination of his repulsively turgid fabric encased mass reveals nothing other than the tubes which supplied him with the blood and oxygen with blood and oxygen you do notice the letters SH s are written in pen on the back of his left hand well that monitor is doing something so let's look at look monitor um okay launch countdown prognosis terminal that's not good for him external temperature critical probably not good for me launch clone launch go to abort launch enter code below sh s are aborted a board granted yes nice f6 baby time to save [ __ ] the sky blue and orange [ __ ] cool and let's get the hell out of here look jar there's no sense in messing with that now will not prolong your survival look window through through the massive window you can see out into the depths of space towards distant systems so many other places out there to be but here you are dude I know the feel oh these stairs are a little stairs a little huh okay that was awkward look this is a cool part of the game I like this you were walking through a clear tubular passageway which seems to wind in and out along the outer perimeter of the asteroid there is a box mounted on the west end of this tube okay look box the box is actually an oxygen mask receptacle it is currently closed open box you open the box and noticing that an oxygen mask remove it and close the box put on masks alright I'm sure that will come in handy 40 minutes until meltdown a synthesized voice cheerfully announces great oh cool so I'll end up killing that stupid alien when this place melts down that makes me feel good and that big furry gorilla thing which killed me [ __ ] him I hate him whoo this is pretty you are walking through a clear tubular passageway which seems to wind in and out okay ah the planet of lay beyond spins nearby oh there's lay beyond okay you can see evidence of the decaying orbit of the asteroid the exterior of the asteroid is heating up from ever-increasing collisions with the atmospheric molecules the glass tubes will not bear this heat much longer oh I got to do this awkward diagonal walk here and quite gotten that down yet think I'm there cool look space it looks darn cold and lonely out there you can only wonder how far you are from home or if you will ever see it again oh that's sad hey Oh a section of the glass tubing is fractured from combined stress the pressurized atmosphere rushes for the relative vacuum of space fortunately wearing the mask protects you from suffocation see probably would have died there cool look at me just struttin strutting all healthy like no longer needing the mast you remove it and stow it for later mmm things look good in here it's just another section of hall there's a door on the back wall okay let me save this okay running for my life [Music] cool oh [ __ ] is this good I think this is the way I'm supposed to go time is very much of the essence now I don't know I don't know how long 40 minutes quote-unquote is in actual game time probably not that oh I'm here okay so I just got across this panel oh this makes sense cool kind of cool that they do this to to let you see the entire layout of the ship and then slowly let you get to experience um every path you can go on it I always like the way they set up things in Space Quest games thought it was very clever very clever and friendly and it made me feel gifted gifted I say um so now I just got to get in here Tom - Tom - Tom I also like that regardless of the situation Roger Wilco always walks at a nice leisurely pace no need to stress bro it's just death in the vacuum of space at risk okay don't mind me don't mind me yeah [ __ ] watch me all you want dude the guy who's checking those security cameras dead soups dead bra okay so there is something here that I cannot recall it's very this is like the final escape I just have to figure out what the heck to do here okay look you are somewhere marvelous look wall the walls are covered with panels protecting sensitive technology environment control components they're nothing to mess with okay still think there's something there though I cannot for the life of me remember what it is this these sounds are very relaxing this really helps me concentrate it's awesome whoa oh oh look you are in the section of a hallway on the back wall is a bank of four escape pods is that thing gonna chase me if it is I've got dang it [Music] how far will this thing chase me all right let me say hold on as this thing struts behind me since it's clearly not gonna catch me I'm just gonna check one more time the walk the walk through okay uh okay is this thing 35 minutes until meltdown great okay oh so I just have to get in that pod as fast as possible yeesh let's say how do I do box where mass buh-buh-buh keep walking foods sorry everyone just one moment figuring this out making it happen okay here we are we're back so I have to say push button and before okay poof boy this is gonna be tricky I just basically have to do this crazy fast okay and enter pod huh the robot has apparently decided that it's permissible for you to be here since you are all in the polarity oh that was close Oh scary [ __ ] okay look pod upon entering the escape pod you quickly take your seat look pod you are seated inside one of the emergency escape vehicles before you lies a control panel and a view port look panel the only outstanding feature on the panel is the clearly marked launch button and well then I'll [ __ ] go ahead and push the launch button baby you better believe that [ __ ] warning emergency escape vehicle launch sequence has begun get me the [ __ ] out of here launch time t-minus ten nine eight seven six five four three two one zero baby yeah I have made it whew you're gonna have to stop cutting these escapes so close Danny you're telling me Space Quest too well you must feel pretty good right now you stopped volha from carrying out his threat of salesman infestation ultimately destroying the twisted scientist himself you also managed to save your own skin and just look at that score pretty darn impressive yeah man I lost 11 points somehow I don't know Oh what's up suddenly a warning signal draws your attention to the oxygen meter on the front panel it reads low and dropping fast Oh [ __ ] great this is just great yeah I agree Space Quest you knew it was all too good to be true you have maybe five minutes of air left well Danny it was nice knowing you oh [ __ ] dicks alright look now you take the time to view the interior of the pod in um in more detail you see a sleep chamber against one wall look chamber [Music] look sleep chamber the chamber is a bed of sorts enclosed in a large plexiglass cylinder the occupant of such a chamber would be placed in suspended animation and kept alive for an indefinite period of time well better [ __ ] get in there then in chamber you need to open the chamber girl that chamber is getting opened as [ __ ] you turn back the plexiglass cover get in Sean Bell lit up you make the split-second decision enter the sleep chamber it seals automatically soon you are overcome by a pleasant drowsiness this is certainly better than suffocating you begin to drift away into a deep sleep with the satisfaction of having accomplished your task you've come through in the clutch and you deserve a nice long rest now if someone would just pick you up somewhere along the way so long Danny and thanks again for saving your people thanks for playing space quest - so that's the end of space quest - odd dicks I missed a point 249 to 250 argh what did I miss oh well yeah so a little bit of a cliffhanger for them to end this on strain a strange ending it's probably the strangest ending of all the games but as you know space quest 3 you can now go to that and pick it up where I started the my playthrough of that for grumps and you'll see I get sucked into that junk freighter and I wake up I'm all like where am I and then I humble out and I I steal a ship and I get beaten up by rats and then I go to the McDonald's in space known as monolith burger but that's for another day my friends in the meantime we have filled in the little gap now and we have played we have officially played space quests 1 2 & 3 on grumps and space quest 4 on steam train with Ross so I'm not a massive fan of space quest 6 but I would love to play space quest 5 when the time is right I'll probably play that one with Aaron because it's a little bit more in-depth it definitely can't be accomplished in you know two or three hours like these early games can but I bet we could do it in a couple long episodes which would be really fun for me so perhaps we'll do that and in the meantime thank you for watching all the way through this video you must be a super fan because we just spent a couple hours together like holy [ __ ] really it's really enjoyable for me to to share these these CRA games with you guys and yeah as always thank you to Scott Murphy and Mark Crowe for making these incredible games this game is 30 years old now Space Quest 2 and it remains fun and interesting and just so insanely far ahead of its time that it will always have my respect and my love and those guys are actually still working on their a game called space venture which they had a Kickstarter for I guess a few years back and it's taking them a bit longer than they anticipated to get it out there but I have faith that they'll get it out there pretty soon and it'll be awesome and then I'll play that on the show cuz that I really can't wait for I've been waiting for a new game from those guys for like 20 years now but in any case thank you so much I love you and we'll see you tomorrow for more game grumps hijinks this is Danny signing off by ok Matt and Ryan I did it I [ __ ] did it I played space quest - there's nobody else here who am I even talking to right now

Channel: GameGrumps

Views: 1,713,432

Rating: 4.9417982 out of 5

Keywords: lets, play, walkthrough, gameplay, egoraptor, danny, game, grumps, gamegrumps, funny, space quest game grumps, space quest, solo dan, dan only, space quest danny, space quest 2, space quest II

Id: 3ZBRNnuk1S4

Length: 138min 4sec (8284 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 06 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/comma888comma111]

Dan playing Sierra games is one of the life’s finest gifts.

[u/oree94]

Dan solo episode? Playing a game he loves? For two straight hours??

I think everyone's been waiting for this their whole life. Hell yeah.

[u/Davethemann]

Hey im dan 🎶

Im also dan 🎶

Daaaaaan

[u/TaintedSquirrel]

My favorite GG videos are when Dan plays Sierra games. He rarely ever plays games in the videos with Arin, and he has such a passion for these old games, it's so entertaining to watch. Wish we had more of these.

[u/skyyn3t]

This is Bob Ross levels of relaxing...

> look craft _

> search craaaaaaft! _

[u/Tmlboost]

It’s been a while since I’ve watched, but two hours of Dan playing classic Sierra has me excited

[u/r1ch1e_f]

NSP video and solo playthrough in the same day. Hot damn

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_ODYSSEY]

While I wish Ross was playing alongside Dan, I really enjoy his solo playthroughs. They're just so relaxing.

Also, the Dan intro never gets old. Ever.

[u/Beatlejwol]

#DayofDan