Best of Game Grumps - Super Mario 64 Complete

Hey big-ass face this is like this this is designed to annoy you with the different mustache and sideburns colors sorry interesting it's interesting that they go with the eyebrows matching the mustache rather than the hair it's like facial situation I guess so yeah pinches eyeball is this the game that's scary Asian alright that's okay cool that [ __ ] was revolutionary yo how bad it was yeah they're all getting erased like in the old Looney Tunes where they like the [ __ ] pencil comes in this I'd actually like disintegrates a character and then just oh man Mario I have never even seen this game oh it's gorgeous alright so this was Super Mario World and much like ocarina of time like this was the time when I was away from video games I just gone to college and like I was all wrapped up in other things drugs and like I just never this is like where the gap for me in Nintendo is I like picked it up again when Gamecube came out so like and 64 is kind of a mystery to me it's um it's a weird era it was definitely an area era where people were trying to figure [ __ ] out yeah Super Nintendo was like people were trying to make [ __ ] that already existed better yes I love Super Nintendo but this arrow is kind of like yeah what's the next step yeah well and the funny thing is I remember going to nobody beats the whiz in New Jersey and yeah we can skip this huh oh yeah this is like tutorial [ __ ] yeah I mean this is like one of the first 3d [ __ ] oh yeah it was like we okay okay I know this is intimidating it's okay up is now forward so here's a child's playroom for you to start in whatever when when I was in high school when this first came out like I remember seeing it like on display like an electronic store and just being like totally overwhelmed I was like oh [ __ ] I can't I can't like netten you can side scrollers forever please oh yeah and these make my brother's sick yeah yeah me too me too well cuz your brother and I are closer in age so like maybe it's just our generation or whatever if you're just an old [ __ ] loser yeah I mean truly goes without saying okay fair enough you're like Matthew mitosis has done a pretty good analysis of it shout out to my boy Matthew mitosis I don't know is that as some kind of disease Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine review all right Matthew mitosis I'll watch it look it up you put a link on the screen Kevin because it's a YouTube Matthew mitosis definitely sounds like something you could contract like if you were not really good at analyzing video game not wearing a mask the only place I was going with all that was that like this doesn't look intimidating at all anymore it actually looks quite [ __ ] amazingly advanced for 1996 oh yeah dude this I mean the way that Mario like really good tilts into his run and [ __ ] yeah Wow yeah they [ __ ] thought of that well I mean they thought of that right away they must have they must have always been putting their best people on the mario games right yeah like there's no way they'd neglect a Mario game that that being said of course we played [ __ ] super Mario's preschool party earlier today so we've got a low bar going right now ya know I think that one's probably one of the best models I would I would go as far to say that speed runs of this game are beautiful really yeah are you speedrunning right now dude as you get up and down on the ledge like welcome to the finale of my you hi Bob Bob what's uh what do you that's a beautiful blurry a skybox you're looking at everything the light touches will [ __ ] explode oh [ __ ] he got serious real quick oh yeah don't let you'll never take his power stars hi I'm Bob what right do you have to enter my domain you gonna get behind him he's really fast I actually don't think you can he I don't think he can do any damage to you really yeah he's just a purely like getting to know you boss yeah that he can knock you off the mountain which is which is processing what's happening so it's like I have to go all the way back up and I feel like this that's I mean we've certainly experienced it once or twice oh I love that vantage point where it looks like your legs are halting with his head see if you can try to get that again I think you incredible yeah I'm coming yeah I just bench a lot you know whatever Oh arm day again whatever yeah that's probably the most overwhelming explosion I've ever encountered in any game yeah I mean yeah it's like triangle triangle is really did Michael Bay would be really into that Michael Bay likes explosions I I decided it'd be cool to have a girlfriend that likes explosions a lot and you'd nickname her Michael Bay you racing a turtle right now yeah course Wow what else would I do with a turtle I don't know I mean lick them and throw them up on the ceiling and watch them get stuck you know I have tried that have you yeah how did it go didn't taste good yes dick good turtle died I died welcome back mario has taken a nap mm-hmm he dreams when he naps yeah excuse me he's like oh that's adorable it takes a little while before he has night terrors yeah you know in cats have REM sleep like eyes open a little bit and it's just kind of like this nightmare creature oh my god I met the twitchy as cat recently yeah she's the best yeah she like when she relaxes she starts to twitch so she'll just be like purring and all happy to be around you and then a second it's [ __ ] adorable I would you know yeah go on tell me how you'd have sex with the cat I earn what I know we've been doing this going on two years bro I [ __ ] I know where your head is absolutely I can't believe oh my gosh can you get boners if you're neutered are they unrelated yeah I think so you just can't fire off baby batter never the least sexual oh absolutely oh say that say that to a girl once when it went like right at their like an ultimate moment of lovemaking you're just like I'm gonna [ __ ] shoot some baby batter all over you ready for this which is like way into it she's like yes give me the [ __ ] liquidy almost children we're peace-loving bombs so we don't use cannons but if you'd like to blast off it'll mine help yourself I'm just gonna moonwalk in place I'm doing a little jig and practicing for the Riverdance all bomb Riverdance it's gonna be an explosive ending that was exactly the high five that deserve seaweed salad is like when you order Japanese food and they're in the like bringing you miso soup stage like sometimes they'll bring you a little dish of a dish sometimes they'll bring a dish but whenever I try to compensate and I'm like I'll just wait the extra minute it turns out I was like four minutes off and it's only been six minutes we're peace-loving bombs so so well maybe you can like maybe you should use that as a measurement right so you're really good at measuring nine minutes right and you're really good at measuring four minutes at a time right so or we could fix our timer that's been broken for eight months no well next time on game grumps oh gosh okay uh I will make sure that Ross doesn't creepily stare at us through that window oh Jesus man what is he doing there hey Ross he does have a creepy stare but also beautiful eyes it's a real oxymoron Lina you are so loud off the cliff you go no wait off the cliff I go was no problem of beating Klaus wait Mario really figures out ways to be like cute about death you know like oh you fell to your death Oh nope nope you just fell out of the onto the floor yeah you landed on your butt darn darn it gosh meanwhile jeepers you'd be [ __ ] buried alive in snow you'd probably catch hypothermia before you suffocate well like in the first Mario he he just contorts weirdly oh yeah almost creepily yeah and then just falls well it's also that sound whatever that is yeah sounds like a xylophone almost like you [ __ ] up hey God my baby have you seen my baby she's the most precious baby in the whole world she looks so different than all the other penguins I just can't remember where I left her I don't know Wow very informative thank you so you just have to [ __ ] start bringing her penguin babies until she's like yeah really yeah can you just save time and chuck them off the [ __ ] mountain in her direction um you would think right I don't know maybe there's one yeah but it's not the right one ion's the red herring because it's like always there she's right here you stupid idiot yeah and it's just like no it's not chicks mothers it yeah oh good oh that's Charlie's baby yeah that's Charlie's baby I don't she looks nothing like me I'll call you no I've definitely been in like RV parks is there a difference yeah the Darby parks are temporary right like they're a space for people with RVs that go that has like I say and showers and stuff the Trailer Park is the place to park your [ __ ] trailer and just live yeah interesting I've seen it in my name is oral yeah that counts so that's that's pretty true to life alright so yeah okay you have been oh yeah and he has a mustache yeah Jason Lee and missed it check the Chanel versus Oh what what kind of Silent Hill should is that Scottie Wow beam me up Scottie do you know I'm talking about Star Trek no Jan Terry what's the [ __ ] you've never seen [ __ ] Jan Terri that's impossible we had to have talked about her what there is no [ __ ] way that you and I have been doing a show for 20 months and we have not once I have not once mentioned Jan Terri I I'm in a loss for words bro get down Goblin you've never [ __ ] oh okay so this is good oh you almost caught it she they're actually around this time when this game came out like mid 90s or early 90s Jan Terri a a woman from Chicago not what you would call a physically beautiful woman but she's got spunk and I like her style made a collection of the worst songs in music you ever hear in your life and they are incredible and one of them is about Star Wars no Star Trek rather and it's like this is not it but it's it's literally on this level like we're going to outer space Amy I'm Scotty and I can't possibly do it justice I want to see that yes you do yes you do why haven't you showed me this earlier I almost am positive that I have no I've never even [ __ ] I feel like your brain is just trying to protect you and and as a result has a race that many would have showed me probably showed you get down goblin - that sounds a little more familiar cat town Goblin get down goblin no I haven't seen them Oh and they're on the stairs god damn it all right goddamn it now you have a thing to look forward to I know you can you can give this to me I just wish we could get Internet in this room so we could watch it together right now their Wi-Fi so [ __ ] up Wi-Fi is a little [ __ ] up that's too bad yeah yeah [ __ ] it I don't care I don't need Wi-Fi to play [ __ ] Super Mario 64 I can't believe penis fart net is not working to 100% capacity it's our Wi-Fi babe last topic a floating island I'd love it if they slipped in one [ __ ] like just in this they're like it's in cursive people aren't gonna read it that closely Oh rune you guys want to see a master mareo pleyer log on a gamegrumps dotnet what's up you [ __ ] [ __ ] welcome to the speed runner Mario 64 download my long-play speed run commentary of Marcis for available now in real media format at youtube.com slash HTTP colon slash ass slash monkey slash monkey [ __ ] a coconut and slash Mario / jumping slash white rule racist [ __ ] oh my god like What did he say white rule it's like real media so I think I heard him say that it must have been something else it must have been like hight school or like that's like a oh my god and they're like yeah a hockey team yeah the whites plastic surgery is almost always a losing proposition it really is man unless like a small adjustment like oh I was born with a fucked-up chin or something right we know I have a normal chin yeah or [ __ ] up thumbs I don't know just as an example nicely done are you might consider getting some surgery yeah it's a get like cosmetic some surgery to get like huge boobs put onto him yeah doctor listen will you put tits on my phone hello hello I think we might have gotten yeah I think there must be some static I'm the tits thumb guy just to make it easier for you that's not good that was some Strider [ __ ] dude I did that all on my own completely on purpose granted it happened because you [ __ ] up like you were falling near death but I'm giving you full credit to thank you there it is [ __ ] dead on that [ __ ] was that was really good it was really good how did you know that was in there was there a crack in that wall it's just the way the [ __ ] game is dawg yeah but like okay Jesus I'll take that don't you know anything I guess not I told me I'm she's a wild piece of luck it's just it's just one of those it's like the [ __ ] world how would you know the flute was there and Mario 3 well because of the wizard yeah yeah of course because he explicitly says here's the flute anyway how would the wizard know yes how would he know the game just came out it's an excellent question there's no strategy guides how would he know oh man I want to watch that movie again no do you think it's bad I own it do you yeah let's [ __ ] watch it that's I so a friend of ours suggested that like because Aaron and I have said probably in the hundreds of times like hey let's watch that movie together or like you've never heard that movie let's watch it and heard of that movie rather and sometimes we do so like perhaps we should do an occasional podcast where we talk about movies that we watch together okay yeah that could be cool sounds good to me Barry wanted to do it [ __ ] Barry finally I can say that permission again Kevin yeah Kevin how you doing we haven't talked to you in a little while yeah buddy that's good that was your um your thing yeah how was that thing did you see how [ __ ] perfect that shot that was astonishing Kevin did you see that did you like it wasn't even the [ __ ] mission I was supposed to do wow I just did a [ __ ] willy-nilly mission cuz I was like that looks like a star and then I did it and see this gate was cool Kevin how great is Haran awesome please don't embarrass me thank you yeah III totally agree with whatever you just said no don't don't that's like writing a blank check like the movie blank check can you please put a zombie cheeseburger floating across the screen actually up and down zhurqis yes oh but he has to come down from the top of the screen gently and sink into the abyss like bottom of the screen of this I gotta invent some [ __ ] floaty character someday dude it's as easy as just saying the first stupid [ __ ] thing that comes into your head cuz I had nothing to do with Bergy that was that was you and very collaborative effort yeah yeah I mean you could even make the argument that it was totally me and Barry just [ __ ] was along for the ride cute he would not have gone over I know berries berries probably in the top two editors I've ever known personally in my life yeah tell you where yeah yeah cuz it'll make him feel bad yeah I mean you know who the other one is can't I could I need it I have a match if I don't oh look at this this is nice have a Big Mac every so often when I go to me I've never had a big I've never had a Big Mac you know what I had a Big Mac in Japan that's I think that's the only time I read a big man are you serious yeah that was like oh man I wonder what it tastes like here and then I ate it and I was like I don't even know what it tastes like is it bigger makuu I mean yeah Big Mac oooh I love them so much Japan we're coming to party with you have you ever like had someone freak out at you and then like while they're freaking out and you're just totally calmly listening to them they yell at you to calm down oh no it's really funny I think that's ever happened a girl went off on me like crazy how do you do we um we were going like I just saw a parking spot on the street and I like I was like pulling into it and I guess like she had seen it and I didn't see her like I have no idea who actually got there first but she just pulled up next to me she was like what are you doing man like I was there I was gonna take that spot that's so not cool and like just losing her mind and I was like do you want do you want the spot like she was no it's fine it's fine but then like she found a spot like two feet away and like we get out of her car that she has to walk by me because I'm getting out of my car and I was like all right Benji wet officer Moore and she was just like yeah I'm all right it's just not cool you shouldn't act like that it could just calm down like just calm down how's that you're right I'm sorry I've really been losing my [ __ ] and being really really I just I went out of my way to like have like the comest tone of voice what I was responding I was like you're right I'm sorry [Laughter] yeah hello oh man oh here we are Super Mario Sunshine in a while I love it what do you like it are you having fun no you're wrong oh you're right I'm sorry embarrassing Super Mario Majora's Mask Super Mario I know embarrassing I'm sorry it's majora x' mask I majored in magic studies said I bet someone did majora ya word well I bet I bet someone actually went to college and studied masks in honor of Zelda like like their whole life is one big troll now I'd like to think that we were the first person ever to come up with that joke I bet you're right if you can even call it that yeah it's barely humor I always feel weird you know when you watch like shows and it's like a character's like it is like obviously like ugly the ugly one yeah and then I'm like who [ __ ] auditions for that role and then I I saw like an audition for the it's just like just hundreds of ugly people and they're just like I'm the ugly person that's my thing yep it's like whoa geez well it's crazy like it's a set some people listen it I don't know I don't know I don't know what the what the right word is but I I'd happily play a dork wow that thing's more intense than I thought it would be [ __ ] I need to get that star but I need the eel to do something I don't do you need him to eat you because that is what he is very intent on doing Oh shame so close meanwhile it was an optical illusion you're like five miles in surface whoa stakes are low yeah you gotta put on to put on your favorite Jam when you put in your earbuds and strut down the street hot sexy but shaking from side so I hate your buds oh I think I thought you said I hate your butt and I was about to be like that's not what you told me how could you I hate your buds do you really always fall out of my ear oh do you not have a properly shaped here what why is it gonna be about my [ __ ] ears shoe well I mean just like it they're they're badly designed they [ __ ] fall out of your ear doesn't have like [ __ ] little arms in there that grabbed it how do you get this thing there I just died there just a thing that you stick in your ears hopefully it stays in [ __ ] gravity and like the tension from your mm dinglehopper I meant to hold thank you to not refer to the tension of my dinglehopper from now on think thank you I'm just saying man your butts suck I have ear buds that are that have a little rap that goes around the ear hmm so it always stays in and that's smart yeah why wasn't that the first one I love those earbuds your buds are my favorite I love people who do that like slowly like shift and add things to their statement by the end they've completely contradicted what they started yeah I always like the kid who would agree with you on everything yes he would say something yes and you'd be like I hate that yeah I know right the worst dad was asking me what the the little guy with the camera is in the bottom righthand wasn't always watching always judging will see like the the idea of controlling a camera was not like a thing right the player controlling again yeah that that was like a new thing and they thought it would be hard for people to understand it was hard for me to understand so I never played a Nintendo 64 game because of it so they gave it a character so like the camera is the lakitu holding a camera so when you press this you're controlling the lakitu it's like when I was scared to go to the dentist and there was like um - me - you don't have to be scared you dumb [ __ ] I might be paraphrasing that are gonna get your teeth pulled and it's gonna look like me have you ever thought about your tooth being outside your body before it's pretty traumatic leave here we go leave me under the pillow for a nightmarish intruder to come into your house we call it a fairy to make it better for you but then it's still Terry it's unquestionably a demon don't tell your pores you know though oh my god if I ever have kids I'm telling him about the tooth Damon well the tooth demon has gnarled teeth yeah crazy long bone fingers and his ice-cold stare leave a quarter under your pillow to satiate his bloodlust means something to us but not to him right I might die leave two pennies under your pillow so after the teaming kills here you can put them on your eyes and buy your way across the river Styx oh now you can just fly around yeah so I guess now I can just win cap it oh sweet okay that's much better see there's always different ways to get to the same place like the way Brian like the way Brian registered the domain but sex dot info to link to the sex part of YouTube bridge type in blood sex dot info no [ __ ] this lo I don't embarrass myself or [ __ ] like three hours isn't that the second time you've done that so far I got a very early level like I'll do it later hey B Oh No God that was to mind [ __ ] right in a row I've stepped right in some you step right into my trap as I know you would I warned you Reverend do you need to add the quotes yeah watch your step I wouldn't have like weirdly been like Oh am I your friend like yeah are you not the enemy Oh God wow wow that was like the one thing you couldn't do I'm learning okay no all right denied yeah something I've always wondered about dois haha has anyone ever said that that song sounds like fun is to be had every fun happens when this song plays meanwhile this would be excruciating if it happened he put some brutal change put some gold bond on rude old true yeah have you ever put gold by medicated powder in your balls so of cool are you kidding me that is my [ __ ] bread and butter you have yeah dude hey you ever go on a trip somewhere if you ever go to the nihon you honey Dumas yes go on mother [ __ ] in Disneyland me chemo oh yeah oh yeah [ __ ] I wear knee chemo I like the way it tingles yeah I love the feeling of Johnson and Johnson on my Johnson nice not get this [ __ ] rabbit what are you supposed to get him yeah well I'm doing my best okay I believe in you apparently this was this was how the original game was developed I think what do you mean just chasing rabbits yeah when they when they developed the game it was only a rabbit in like an open space and they were like this is this is not pleasant this is a [ __ ] this is a wild goose chase through the sewage system while Babbage's yeah what the hell I [ __ ] clipped him dude I feel like I'm an in Groundhog Day to bring in another varmint into the mix I'm not I'm not like I don't feel like I'm doing bad should you like oh you have to speak coffee grinder water come here oh you son of a [ __ ] you're gonna [ __ ] get in my hands right now you see that [ __ ] I'm gonna grab your golden bunny I'm gonna cover you in my piss and nobody will know anything's different a shiny thing mine is mine Finders Keepers you should take it gift it's a star why did it say at the end he said it's a gift from Bowser go have tea or something I thought it said now let me die that's fine you've taken my star now you want to save down your bet better believe it [ __ ] yeah or like no no ask to have it yeah it's pretty go into this demon face to the demon world yeah buddy did you bring the sacrifice you know I did you will love your cheese oh wow wow that worked as a sieve boy Nintendo games really do love eyeballs it's an advanced Mario tactic what are you talking about Oh God jeez that that eyeball monster if we just passed it just reminds me of like all the eyeballs we fought in zelda 2 and yeah remember in fact you specifically talked about it you were like god if this were like with updated graphics it would look totally freaky oh yeah yeah well I don't know like if they they work with what they can write they can get away with a lot of stuff in those shitty graphics it's true dude in this game they can get away with a lot a scheme we're updated with [ __ ] Mario Sunshine graphics they would have they would definitely like pretty up a little stuff you know yet like they'd give Mario fingers for instance as opposed to just like gross nubs Wow oh I'm not he's just a big bully that's all I know oh god stop it big bully beat me to the boiling Bob this is quite the crime caper oh what a conundrum it's kooky oh and that's crazy they go all the way oh yeah just you can just get to second base with this level that's all yeah I mean you guys just started seeing each other I don't know get a home run I really try really my cards I play my trump card my trump card I don't know if you should have a trump card to go all the way that doesn't sound right no it's like it's like my dad owns Ferrari that's what I mean like it sounds like a douchey thing like a like an he's villain would say like the jerk yeah my [ __ ] my dad owns a Pepsi Pepsi he owns huge pizza my dad owns pizzas pretty impressive right yeah any pizza that you want my dad can get actually he owns perhaps it's a combination of Pepsi and pizza blended into a delicious smoothie I believe someone told me that the ho that's scary who someone told me that CollegeHumor got their start by making foam shocker hands really yes as in like the two fingers up and the pinky up I know that CollegeHumor got their start by stealing other people's content is that right yeah money they started making their own content oh that's good if the CollegeHumor used to be like like a funny image video aggregate okay so not exactly sealing well they would upload it on their thing and put their watermark on that that is stealing that is definitely stealing I don't know maybe they got me new management or they were like that was their plan all along yeah it could be like all different people now I remember was a big deal like people were rated like down with Coach Hoover loose - they were like Ebaum's world basically Ebaum's world stole wait a second you need to tell me my mind you're bluffing me Oh like this see the the name of each level tells you a little bit about what you got to do so it's like it's like red-hot log rolling and you're like hmm well I didn't see any logs in that direction maybe they're in this direction oh they are this one's called going the volcano stupid hey idiot you're gonna love it please please please please yeah do these floors are reminding me of like like floors at my friend's parents house from the 70s and [ __ ] so true friends bathroom and they're really yeah the 70s were definitely a time for like various shades of orange and brown to be melded yeah yeah it totally yeah yeah have you ever seen the houston astros old uniforms oh no so there was there was this um in this level it was his old rumor that was just waterfall on the side heard lava fall I guess sure that um this one right here so if he fell off in a certain spot you could hit it and it would like make your butt all then he would fly up in the air mm-hmm and then you could just like do that all the way up the lava waterfall and then supposedly when you got to the top you you could unlock the liji oh my god but that's not true I tried it and I got to the top when I was way young and I was like oh and I like felt ripped off like I was mad at Nintendo right oh he was lied to me it has it been super disproven perhaps yes you just weren't doing it amazing he's in the D s port of it so I unlocking characters before like unlocking characters became like a real thing was so fascinating to me as a kid like I remember in the early Mortal Kombat's like when sub-zero and like scorpion like you could find reptile yeah and her Mac the red one that was way later yeah but I mean like it was a it was a mind-blowing thing and like my mom would be like isn't it just the same character just a different color and like the original smoke was just a palette swap and then they made him a robot palette swap so he's always been palette swap smokeless robot yeah so the original smoke it's just 100 coins now the original smoke was he was at how swap of like the the ninjas scorpion in the sub-zero ah and then they made him a palette swap of the robots mmm Cyrax insects iraq's I didn't like the character but can you get a cooler name than Cyrax like oh it's got all the sounds you want in a tough guy named Cyrax yeah yeah right you can't say you can't say it any other way can you direct the even sounds like badass I know what's up Cyrax thanks destroyer of worlds what'll comment was full of crazy [ __ ] characters it really was remember Sindel so who is Cindy she was the one who had the the screams she was likeshe Oh Khan's mistress oh yeah she'd like the crazy hair and she would go like sounds like a strippers name like si and - do you hear the [ __ ] Brown rainbow uniform oh that's clean yeah right I love them Kevin put him up yeah houston astros of the 80s I miss you look at that sexy [ __ ] mom god it's ugly I would touch that with my penis you thought I was gonna say penis yeah I'm gonna a Kevin edit edit penises okay not you Kevin I'm talking about the bullies yeah yeah [ __ ] you ready dicks wherever you want did I get those coins over there well all you need are the bridge ones and you're good yeah well I just I just wanted to see if it was yeah I just wanted to see if there was one that wasn't located directly on boiling hot lava Oh God oh jeez there yeah hop okay I need to be very careful yeah it's gonna be tricky last coins how you can Hagen get them all without and die I need to get the cap yeah it'd be good I just swooped on in it's a lot to ask oh okay deep breath it's tricky dick yeah yeah okay now don't [ __ ] up starting now [Music] Oh Oh God Oh let me get this one man okay stop no no oh god I have one shot at this do it do it I believe in you I believe in you we should fast forward son of a [ __ ] well you weren't even close either you just dive straight into it straight and I lava it's hard oh I don't doubt it I don't doubt it I couldn't do any better myself but you are the worst thanks man true encouragement from a true friend kidding okay I'm sorry I was just joking yeah I know our true friend oh yeah and I was joking about kidding you displaces starbomb colors excuse me cyan magenta yellow yeah that's right okay yeah whatever that means just like I believe that's potassium okay actually okay isn't that isn't that one of those like really popular shirts it's like it's like ol CIM uranium calcium potassium it looks like it says [ __ ] oh yeah it's like that that that awesome asian girl who was like in her school yearbook she just listed a bunch of like elements and it made her look all smart and science he would it actually translated if you used like the periodic table correspondence it came out to like get money get [ __ ] yeah what a badass awesome I like her I like her too you know I'd like to meet her and then we would have literally nothing in common yeah and let me tell you there's a man in my 30s there's nothing cooler than going up to young girls and being like hey new book really cool yeah I like to [Music] do you do things you work out yeah oh yeah do you want to want to get a malt at the malt shop would you like to go down to the saloon one milkshake two straws please in fact one straw yeah none for the lady she'll have a salad yeah right adult god I want the Loch Ness and monster to be real right more than any other monster I thought it was like a lizard at first no it's supposed to be like a plesiosaur yeah should I get on his head yeah why not I would if I were in your position I want the Jersey Devil to be real - no way that Jersey Devils careful it's so spooky you wouldn't you wouldn't want that no you wouldn't want a crazy [ __ ] okay if I never had to go to Jersey ever in my life yes well you have to because we're visiting my parents and why would you because it's deep in the forests and know who goes in there and who wouldn't want an awesome lizard bat that's never been discovered to be [ __ ] partying in your home state there's got to be one for Florida Oh like a legendary creature yeah like almost every state has one there was a cool map that my friend sent me with like no Mothman is Virginia because it's Swamy Oh Swamp man is this Fox Florida has plenteous we have the Everglades dude that's like the definition of that is the swamp iasts I've been there my pants nobody's bloppy tear it was go on that's what you use gold bunk oh yeah the I heard that nobody has ever crossed the everyone what do you mean because they're so treacherous really yeah like maybe maybe short ways but not long ways I find that hard to believe it down the shaft of Florida like there's so many because you have to use like an airboat Florida truly is the unprotected dick of the United States yeah then stepped on that [ __ ] switch it was so satisfying I was like popping a [ __ ] zit that is gross could have done with that the hard T on that Hey nice tips is such a funny word to me it always has been it makes me giggle oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] whoa whoa whoa I missed was sweeping you along right on your tips see it's it's so like not sexy not flattering yeah just like tits let me see your dish well that's the thing like has the word tits ever been like uttered when the sentence was not referring to like show them to me show me your tits looks like you might have a little cancer in your tits my tits today is amazing I wish all doctors did that you want to want a chicken you want a chicken leg or the tip just a gynecologist is like all right I'm just gonna check your magic fingers Magic Mike fingers well yeah yeah cuz remember you were fixing the BurgerTime cartridge and you got it right anyway Oh Magic Mike fingers go it up dude I I ran out of breath of thinking about it later and laughing again heaven kept that [ __ ] right in there Kevin knows what's up dude yeah you're a boy Kevin I'm doing something else completely that is much creepier yeah from the chance to have this please you sort it I feel like that's how sharks feel when they see us you know and I think we're seals oh my worst [ __ ] nightmare that's true no it's fine someone like someone showed me a like this guy I think I might have mentioned this in gross actually like a guy like an Australian surfer guy had like a GoPro or whatever put on the bottom of his surfboard so it could just record whatever's underneath him and there's like one frame where he did like he has no clue but like it's just his leg and then like two inches below it is like an enormous great white shark it's not nice city punch it no I mean it just floated by like they're not generally interested in us yeah that's the thing too is um yeah when I was in Hawaii the island I was on Oahu and the tour guide was telling us about the story about this shark because like I guess there are some people that go out and they put you in a cage there's like in your shark swimming around yeah I'd rather die and so they think the team went down there and then they were like what's up and he's like what they were like and then the guy like went in the cage and he looked at the great white shark and he was like check this [ __ ] out and like and like stuck his hand out to like the shark was like yeah and he was like I'm a shark expert really I could see clearly that this shark was not like hungry and it's just like super curious like oh I don't care if the coolest animals in the world I pass I am amped are you yeah you know when people say like I'm am but they really just mean like I'm scared I've never heard of yous like that but they use it you know they use that sometimes I'll say I'm cramped or I'm damp yeah I guess I've never used it but bro I am damp right I've actually never said that but we should start okay like just start making it a thing man so damp juicy jared leto cut his hair I am dead Kevin can you read a toilet flushing sound in there thank you thank you yeah it would have already happened in a weird it's fine whatever put in another toilet flushing sad and followed by a Wilhelm scream what the how he scream [Music] that's my favorite movie scream if I really world I will feel super honored if they made that because of us if that's the case then that's almost yeah good on you good on you oh is that a real saying it is now yeah high five sex drive yeah high five six truck you told me about that I did probably kill him in his sleep yeah there's a little pepper [Laughter] yeah Oh God if anyone's if anyone's getting the paps it's it's Brian there's no doubt about it we go to the doctor and get a pap yeah yeah how do those memories look oh they look good and she was like yes that has to do with the vagina and I was like I have to go vagina isn't that a stage I'll look at it it's next to West vagina I'm almost positive what the [ __ ] was I gonna say oh yeah I remember Bucky and to see go on I remember I was in a room with my pants and somebody else and this somebody else was like I think this is in like the [ __ ] 90s I was very young sure they were like I think seal is gay like a singer the singer okay not gay yeah and then I was like what is gay just like flat-out like like this is the moment that my parents are dreading oh right right and they just sort of look at each other and they're like well how did they put it it it means that you like to kiss voice Wow did they say it like that yeah I was like I've never kissed a girl [Laughter] no no I don't want to die I don't I don't it's not a thing that I enjoy no no my friends my family I'll miss them all [ __ ] get this goddamn monkey oh do I just sneak up on in this thing I think that's it [ __ ] [ __ ] monkey monkey last time I'll let you [ __ ] with me monkey monkey you're dead your family's dead your friends are dead all the things that you love are dead yeah the Beatles I'm going to the last one wait as Paul McCartney stole yeah there's two left okay I'm gonna take out the last two okay because if you like that three if you can't keep best to see like original be little yes you know yeah see like the scary shrooms I've been there been there done that not sure I quite recovered still hallucinating don't like pizza it's steel Panther you know how I love them they're some of my idols and I watch them like I love watching people who I love and respect to deal with like situations that happen to all musicians and comedians uh-huh like sometimes you'll just make a joke and it won't connect you know and or sometimes you'll play a song and it doesn't sound right or whatever so I saw a Steel Panther performing at the hustler store on on Sunset Boulevard uh-huh and what was the story again what's the address to the hustler store just look just look for the mannequins what with the sluttiness and all and they just played there and it was an awesome show but like just to rev the crowd up for for whatever reason they were like yeah New York's got pretty big pretty good pizza but no one's got pizza like la pizza and like no one says anything it was actually it was an amazing example of like something that failed that they turned into the funniest moment of the show so goddamn funny huh right yeah if I were stuck in the Australian outback desert and just like crawling for life and like a kangaroo could like hop up to me like with only one life-saving thing in its pouch I would hope it's a [ __ ] big old bucket of Reese's peanut butter capsules so at least I could go out smile and taste the rainbow that's not what that is Aaron that's a brown ass rainbow taste the poopie I would prefer not to I sent you a text earlier in the morning yeah because I have to go out of town for one weekend yeah this month and so I was like I won't give specific dates but I was like do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend mm-hmm you'll respond at 9:30 in the morning [ __ ] Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ [ __ ] dude [ __ ] face book movie [ __ ] Jesus can you [ __ ] believe this [ __ ] you know nope no punctuation random capitalization so I respond I have no idea what we're talking about right now 45 minutes pass I get a text from you guys damn created Facebook and [ __ ] lawyers and [ __ ] right [ __ ] Winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat [ __ ] your [ __ ] I can't even [ __ ] believe this [ __ ] and see this [ __ ] I just watched this [ __ ] [ __ ] Jesse Eisenberg man I respond Aaron you're scaring me an hour passes respond mother [ __ ] you spider-man spider-man you're putting the time [ __ ] putting the time mother [ __ ] build [ __ ] with his bear [ __ ] bestfriend [ __ ] jesse eisenberg I'm very tired I'm just like no problem man I'll I'll do most the talking at the grump session today immediate lick response I'm talking like five seconds later no man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day [ __ ] man you have to be so interested in the [ __ ] I have to say about the Facebook movie [ __ ] dude I just watched a year and a half ago [ __ ] Jesse Eisenberg man you [ __ ] over spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins growing treant resin or did the soundtrack [ __ ] this guy who invented Facebook I don't like die I can't think of who the [ __ ] invented Facebook all I could think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the [ __ ] invented Facebook and then in all capital letters two hours later Mark Zuckerberg I swear to God I had to wake up supremely early I was like I didn't want to call you out and be like what are you talking about anymore cuz I was afraid you'd stop so it was just like I'll just calmly keep responding with my own agenda I had to wake up way earlier than I usually wake up right to take beary to the airport mm-hmm and then on the way [ __ ] it back on the way back I was just like so tired and I just I saw that's what you were texting that while driving here's the thing that was all Siri that was insane but I was leaving the airport I saw this [ __ ] kid that looked just like Jesse Eisenberg and then it got me thinking about Jesse Eisenberg at the Facebook movie and then I was just like [ __ ] Jesse Eisenberg man and then I had my phone in my hand because I was I just started the GPS situation oh sure and then I was just like hey text Dan [ __ ] yes and I was really surprised that it stayed on track with everything and I said it was amazing can I tell you the voice I think you were talking to Syria now that I know that yeah that's how I imagined it was good exactly oh wow Wow [ __ ] Jesse Eisenberg and [ __ ] [ __ ] Reza did the music trent resin or re si n space Oh R that should mean no but seriously after I was done with that I was I was that was an actual [ __ ] text when I was like what the hell is the guy who made Facebook's name what the [ __ ] is his name yeah all I can think of is Jesse Eisenberg yeah it's and it's another burg name so it's close yeah and and then and then finally like as I was [ __ ] like pulling into my driveway I was just like all apps all cabs I'm [ __ ] I mean honestly knowing that I'm lucky you didn't just [ __ ] run over to my door and just start banging oh my god that would have been [ __ ] me like at my window just screaming Mark Zuckerberg it's like barely a living oh dude I'm Ross I watched Ross's video finally like top to bottom about about that whole situation Ross is like surprising with all I love your little tippy toes yeah Ross is surprisingly eloquent when he cares about something yeah he's such a douchebag most of the time he is passionate about specific things yeah not police' which is animation it's it's he's an interesting guy I'd [ __ ] him well I have [ __ ] him it's not that we didn't invite you there just he was role playing I wouldn't rule please him I don't care it's like shut up Australian Aaron don't talk during [Music] why do you never look at me during water skimmer over here yeah you're a bug that can walk on water big [ __ ] deal so could Jesus Wow solid argument yeah he was a dude I guess yeah yeah I mean historically a guy named Jesus existed so that's cool not even historically [ __ ] downtown it's probably at least that's that's hey soos that's different yeah guy who's just like yeah no my name is just straight Jesus yeah of course really it's probably like dude like Mohammed is like the number one name in the world so Jesus has to be up there pretty closely is it is it Muhammad because of Muhammad yeah because it's a central religious figure in an enormous Lee popular and famous religion but we don't name people God we should that's all God if I have a son god Abadan oh it's happening could you imagine like roll call in like second grade it's like Jimmy Laura god best racist joke go right best racist joke go sure that's a good idea all right that's racist joke go what what it for the black guy to the Chinese cattle my god that's so racist yo why are you so Chinese and [ __ ] that it started off really good particularly over all right best racist joke go okay with a Chinese guy says to the black guy what yo you look white why are you why are you so black that's racist joke go what did the black Chinese guys say to the Chinese black what hey Jim his name is Jim that's super izl you did look like you're having a good time oh you found all the cap switches haven't you did your green blue the caps you get from colored blocks are really helpful very long now third floor is just ahead I did not find all thank you for your patronizing just yell shredding for Rick Kuhns oh sweet yes and now I getting the show okay cool that's cool though because like it's like a little you know scheme alright schemes like a girlfriend that keeps [ __ ] with you but is just cool enough that you stick around it's it's annoying sucks but gosh dang if it doesn't suck my dick really buy me stuff buy me stuff I'm gonna talk about me you're so stupid and you never say anything cool I love you baby whoa excuse me sir how good would that feel if like you bumped into someone on the street and like um excuse me and then you jumped on their head killed them and then sailed into the air with your arms out and twirled around yeah I [ __ ] fur on a flower of ours yeah different flower you don't even [ __ ] know dude how drunk was Kevin the other night so funny so funny he was doing he was texting me and he was like I'm sorry I thought you were my girlfriend I was like Kevin you said nothing that indicated that I was you thought I was your girlfriend or there was nothing even girlfriend related you're like but I called you baby and I was like no you didn't say I'm sorry I called you baby like Kevin so drunk right now I loved it I loved it he was like I texted and I said but he was drunk news explaining yeah well he was drunk when he was explaining it to me I was like it makes less sense now did I tell you I texted I texted and and I apologize because he's I sigh I thought he was Paulette but then I don't even think I looked in a did text moment so I apologize for nothing yeah yeah I was like dude you don't have to apologize for thinking something like I wouldn't have known he's he's the best fo sho Kevin don't even worry about it brother yeah it would take so much more than that to piss me off I don't know probably Kevin just [ __ ] being like hey Kevin tidy [ __ ] Kevin how we do it that's how we roll up in mice up on my town we're gonna say Steve's my hometown of Nebraska Nebraska is my hometown of age six I was born without a face in my hometown of Nebraska I love Nebraska do you do you yeah um Nebraska's no Nebraska the state or in Nebraska the town what you and the breasts and bresca no [ __ ] did I tell you god damn it go on did I tell you about when I when I was at uh when I was in Hawaii and then we were Suzy and I were trying to relax and I like right behind us we're like these really loud New Yorkers ah perfect my people just like like you know like one of the big families yep and like friends that are also a big family just chitter chattering the whole time it's just like it was just like man you know I'm respecting your space and everything but you're literally right behind us going like hey you know get it hey hey get me that pizza hey you're gonna bring over a slice of pizza yeah yeah hey ask ask Jeanine hey if you want to soda you want to salt you know what I'm feeling a little thirsty yo can you get me a sprite oh you got me a sprite that was when I lived in Brooklyn that was like it's like the city version of like roosters that wake you up in the morning it's like 7:30 a.m. think but then the funny thing about it was found to come out for a while and then like one of them walked over into a different direction like the people sitting next to them we're like hey mister accent are you from New York yeah sorry oh my god amazing it's so wonderful oh [ __ ] what the hell is going on I five more times at least with that yeah yeah before he won't even qualify it with I thought of something he's just like like like our first conversation never happened it's like the soccer games on tonight I'm like okay cool okay like close the door oh that's cute yeah 45 seconds ago bye hey hey done oh it's so it's so sweet you're fine you know what just just use this time to follow him and see where you're supposed to go and then try to take it take him over at the very end yeah oh yeah you know you know me and more you could do a triple half gainer it is pretty good I gotta admit what's not shut up oh I'm good you're very good at anything they don't have to be mutually exclusive things they are okay everything in the world is against me so if you say something's good then that means I'm less good by comparison there's just less good in the world for me to have whoa you see that yep that's how good I am oh god no no I do what that woman is doing to me we've saved a lot of time [Laughter] this is exactly where you were add an echo to that one but yeah we give it like a churchy reverb got it [ __ ] yeah I'm just gonna make sure that I don't [ __ ] ah dang it I didn't think it was there amazing to watch you land on the quicksand as you're saying now I just have to not land on the quick-set really a a meta experience for me yeah it just it's so different than the way you have to approach a dog cuz if you come up and just grab a dog they'll be like did you not notice the vicious fangs that I am would you like to see my jaws here they are yeah but like and I learned this from the [ __ ] GI Joe cartoon yeah and the GI Joe they're like you've gotta like put your hand out and let the dog sniff it and like make sure that like it starts wagging its tail because it gets your scent and it understands that you mean it no harm and then you can pet it and then you'll be cool with any dog but like what the [ __ ] did penciler films turn that into god I [ __ ] love those that was like that [ __ ] was like an era for me like an arrow life the fencer films yeah that was like a part of my life that I can vividly remember because of that specifically wait hang on before you jump okay can you jump back to this and why sweat you go near that pokey real quick and I'm super sorry sorry what I was gonna say wasn't cool enough to waste everyone's time like this okay but just run up to him close as soon as you see him because I never noticed this before and certainly wasn't clear in the Super Mario 2 but pokies bodies close up these sections of them look exactly like dunkin donuts munchkins with coconut on them delicious god oh hi I'm hungry now but this supposed to be his eyes on the black slab I think I think like maybe I didn't fully understand well I guess he had eyes in his hand that's true he's like the monster from Pan's Labyrinth oh the pale man yeah pretty badass I gotta say I love the pale man good practical effects man came at that game that movie was that movie was sad beautiful and scariest [ __ ] all at the same time yeah man but I hope I hope Guillermo makes more delicious jams of a movie because first of all it's pronounced queer Alamo you should show a little respect I don't I don't speak Latin I don't speak Sanskrit I apologize Latino girls that's awesome absolutely it's like a four month program and supposedly by the end you what I could learn a language in four months yeah if you do it every day I'll do it yeah I was thinking about it too cuz like when I started getting really into Japanese I was like maybe I should learn another language - that would be cool then I could go somewhere else and be like hey people only but we'll see see if I can even do the first one yeah I want to do it for pig latin yeah Pimsleur for piglet yeah hims okay man you'll be so good gay at that oh my god hurry AAA douche bag dank so uh my my dad who I've gone on record many times is saying he's a very sweet guy but not exactly a man who qualifies his statements well so whoa right of that I am aware yeah so I guess he saw the new ninja sex party t-shirts we put out and I'm sure what he wanted to say was great job on the new t-shirts Dan like I think they're awesome by the way this is my size can i buy one I'd love to have one or something like that what he ended up texting to me was I like the new NSP t-shirt large extra large thanks dark colors please it's pretty presumptuous avec [ __ ] give me that [ __ ] yeah oh my parents are the same way that's so funny they're just like you're gonna mean there's no yeah just give it like yeah we put you on this earth give me all the [ __ ] that you gave me a t-shirt yeah the last coin is over he's selfish prick oh this is the red coin mission yeah in the [ __ ] why what's funny that uh I saw a doctor recently who told me that like I have stomach issues sometimes and like he was like well vegan diet can help with that and I was like well actually my stomach issue started when I was a vegetarian and he was like well not not vegetarian vegan because milk and dairy stuff are basically like liquid meat and I'm like oh well okay and I was like yeah well I mean I did try to like I'm just talking to him at this point it like me conversation I'm like I did did I was a vegetarian at one point because I wanted to you know help animals and I didn't want them to be in pain or anything usually I don't care about your hippie [ __ ] I just think it's good for you I mean essentially like he was like wait yes that's the humanist point of view but that's not what we're talking about that's not what we're talking about here you idiot yeah yeah yeah weirdo yeah I mean that's where that's really nice if you're a [ __ ] but it's really fun yeah I on the other hand yeah I might have a steak for dinner tonight yeah and wash it down with some scene liquid meat that is not kosher at all you know what I'm I'm down with recently mm-hmm is [ __ ] there was a door there since I've been doing paleo hey there's no dairy in that so I've been doing on almond milk oh yeah almond milk is nice [Music] do you know anyone who says it the word milk like milk like with an e milk yeah okay do you want a glass of milk and I'm like what the [ __ ] is that is that some kind of weird like Oh milk milk like I want to get up in people's faces when I wake in Philly when they say bagel beg of you don't beg with cream cheese and I'm like what do you sorry oh no it wasn't the right one oh [ __ ] [Laughter] two thirds but extra 1/3 is the one that's really gonna surprise you that's the one that shot yeah in fact you can just put your pinkie up and call it the Shocker yeah have you ever have you ever seen where you switch you switch the fingers that's up like like instead of the middle finger you put the middle finger down and the ring finger goes up yeah that's called the showstopper ship stuff let's get this show on the road oh goodness me I think the show's over folks everybody go home is it brown or red I got it I got some things to do I don't even even thought to [ __ ] whatever no I didn't mean to save and quit now I don't want to see Mario stupid face again I want to go back to my world do you think he cries like he's had like a couple side projects like he did you know obviously Petey's but like would be PT but like right he's like boktai that was something I really wanted to do another scary game is about like harnessing the power of the sunlight there's pretty it's pretty weird cuz the cartridge itself had like a solar sensor in it okay it was a Game Boy Advance game and so your character had a gun that was powered by the Sun so you would go to two areas where you need like more sunlight and you'd like have to go outside and like yourself whoa neat but you could just buy a black light and then everything is fine oh just like college shine it directly on the sensor just like everything's fine yeah yeah girls will come your room if you got a black lady oh yeah well helpful tip for you unfortunately they'll also see the myriad of [ __ ] stains all over your room Oh was that a thing like girls really like the black light I moved in there and I had no job and I had no idea how I was going to survive barely making rent and so I was like man I wish I had furniture and then like the day my humble desire yeah and a day later like I see this beautiful couch just on the street and I was like oh it's like a dream come true so like why would someone throw away a couch this nice so I I I get my friends together and we all bring it down because I lived in a basement like a resident evil' looking not my best time in my life and it's in my room for maybe two days and all of a sudden I'm like what is that terrible odor and it was like it wasn't just that like the couch had cat pee on it it was like someone had like wrung out a cat of its pee and mashed it all into the couch but like when it was on the street you couldn't smell it because of the wind you know like but only when it was an enclosed environment ie my apartment and this apartment was already basement II and gross and so it had no sunlight and I was like great now I have no sunlight and everything smells like you're that's awesome did you get rid of it no I I just had an orgy with like 40 girls that were like oh my god I love you derpy smelling things yeah [ __ ] I got rid of it that was when I had remember remember I told you there was that giant cockroach living in the like the hallway of my apartment not not in my own apartment but like in them in the main hallway and he would just live on the wall and he was so huge that like he was completely unafraid that anyone or thing could kill him he would just sit there every day and I named him Kevin yeah Kevin yeah well cuz I like I was like have you ever told Kevin that I don't think Kevin did I ever tell you that I had a pet Roach named after your namesake well you literally just did yeah and he was he actually got cute after you name things they become cuter oh yeah addict Roach in the bathroom called Charlie when I had lived in it was in Florida Wow Oh God they get huge down there oh yeah well plus we lived in like middle of [ __ ] nowhere so it was just like whatever yeah yeah just do it Kevin is like this antenna would twitch a little bit and Kevin actually all of you already this is this is like I don't even know if this is like sad for this is where my life was at or like we're sweet but my landlord said like um I'm so sorry I like I got a guy we're killing that roach tonight know what so I I got a glass and I put him outside I like drove him to safety I was like move your life down Kevin be free so Ross who has been in a terrible sleep schedule lately he's really yeah he keeps passing out during the day I'm [ __ ] himself over and like every day he's like I just have to stay away through the day I just have to power through it and then I'll go to sleep at night no be on schedule I'm like then stay awake man stop going to sleep and he's like no I'm just gonna lie down for a second I'm like what did you just tell me just that pump your body full of gross energy drinks that'll probably make your lifespan a lot shorter right so I right before we started the last session I was like all right Ross when I come out here I want to see you awake and alert don't go to sleep and he was like and then I I come out he's curled up in the beanbag chair totally unconscious and I'm like Ross Ross and I wake him up and he's like huh I'm like what do you have to say for yourself things like do you think do you think if someone was afraid of Obama they'd be called the ratna phobic I was like okay that's a joke that only works in that circumstance I know I doubt if he came up and just said that's me I'd be like Ross you suck but in that context it was super adorable like a Swedish Chef from the Muppets [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] shia labeouf he's just in like the development meetings of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull who should we get to take the torch from Indiana Jones Harrison Ford's get a little longer than two things like God I just conspiracy theories all these crazy things but like none of which were ever correct and like the my but there were certain ones were that were just like super ridiculous uh-huh and that was my favorite one of all the ridiculous ones because someone apparently someone apparently gave John some cheese nips at a panel that he did yeah that and later we were at the same panel and I just saw a box of cheese nips there oh sweet Jesus everyone's going crazy and I don't know why but like when you're up there you can't you can't make out what people are saying like you can hear one voice but when everyone's yelling at once it just sounds like this garbled mess yeah so like everybody's doing those our jobs and I'm like what who like so like I eat one and people like so funny then then when I finally like heard what they what they were saying like we have great content yeah we're gonna calm down I was like alright I'll save them for him and they're like [ __ ] reading way too much into everything so bananas if it was like something like horrible and they were like just trying to tell you they're [Laughter] stupid did they just put a coin arrow on the arrow listen you know I never [ __ ] I can't if I could drive this home it up whoa start I guess someone was telling me that like the guy who was in charge of sonic boom is actually quite proud of it really and like thinks it has been a big success and I'm like well I see not have like years and I said I have to end access to any form of media I had mixed feelings because like on one hand I was like man I hope like I hope we weren't like making people feel bad about their game you know that they worked super hard on Christ that hard on like at the same time because I I never had a problem ragging on the game what we were doing it because I was like even the people who worked on this must of knowing that like this [ __ ] is ridiculous just because like they didn't have enough time to work on it for like weird deadlines or [ __ ] at right oh yeah I talked to them there was a guy who worked on key way that emailed me actually quality assurance yeah and he was like it was like yeah you know like QA gets a lot of flack but like these are all problems that we saw when we were working on it and just yeah yeah you care can't do anything if you're going to get ignored yeah so oh that poor guy yeah he's like we all worked super hard in the game but the course he did no nobody listen to us and that's that Wow yeah cuz I'm sure they're all good people like that's that that's the [ __ ] thing that like that's the problem like you get you got a lot of nice people working on a bad game that gets [ __ ] up by like bureaucratic red tape and all that [ __ ] and it's like [ __ ] man I don't want to be [ __ ] on these nice people but like this game speaks for itself and how bad it is and like everyone else is just gonna say it anyway the internet so we might as well just be honest that Wow did he approach you yeah well okay okay can you give a like a safe version not really great yeah he approached me at the end okay did you did you have a good laugh with him about stuff yes I had a great I had a great caval were you like it's nothing personal because that's what I'd like to say to the sonic boom team I don't don't think I I think that goes without saying you know right probably it's not like because well I think that the main thing was that you made a joke about it right so you were like oh no yeah that was really funny yes um but you know that's sort of that sort of casts quality assurances like oh they're the ones that [ __ ] up right right of course he was like I would just want you to know that we're not the ones that [ __ ] it up right wow wow that's first of all that's awesome yeah secondly it's awesome because I made that joke while we were watching the credits which means he watched every episode of Sonic yeah but yeah and I mean just by default wouldn't I'd be pissed if I worked on quality assurance and they weren't taking my advice because of course you're gonna get blamed for that [ __ ] yeah absolutely it means in the [ __ ] name yeah like oh you assured the quality that was you that did that oh yeah didn't I say it should be spelled kwal ity or KO Ala iti Y Quality Assurance koala yeah just the cutest type of assurance there is mmm I would snuggle that koala t yeah yeah there's like no I'm not forcing any days on your sing a day what is day don't force the day please like damn is like a verb you know it's like to be Dan yeah damnation but what is dang like well I like its it's like those country like those those country folk ways of saying things I think it's just like another word that's similar to the quote-unquote curse you know like dadgummit I know what it is and in vocabulary right but I'm just saying it doesn't mean anything it's every swear word has like a real meaning the [ __ ] is creepy but that's correct talk is the act of intercourse yes forced unlawful carnal knowledge that's what it stands for yeah oh yeah but actually what it no that's not I could comes from the [ __ ] word flicking in German is that writings just strike whoa really yeah because that is like that is how I like to do it just a quick 30 second strike to BAM you just got [ __ ] baby you just got flicking dude did you enjoy that you have the best 20 seconds of your life and I was a little quick tonight not up to my usual 30 seconds of penetration action there's a double entendre clam it from the snatch [Music] water just go like boom for a second it felt like it did might have just been on our screen man I think it was on all of the screens and can you confirm at home yes or no did the screen just go boom Kevin give me a wire end great I thought so me too I trusted your instincts Kevin oh [ __ ] god damn it [ __ ] whoa Jesus elementary school I don't know I think about it sometimes you ever think about your elementary school yeah all the time actually yeah why I don't know it's just a very innocent time yeah Sam a lot a lot of fun I remember I remember a house party my friend had while I was in second grade and there was a really pretty red-haired girl and I wanted like the deejay was we had a game where we were like throwing balloons to each other like water balloons and whoever what whoever's water balloon pops like that team lost so I kept like nudging my way over so I would like the opposite her and she would be on my water balloon team and she was and then we threw water balloons to each other why while heaven is a place on earth by a Belinda Carlisle played in the background and I was like my baby do you know what that's worth whoo heaven is a place on earth they say in heaven love comes first [Music] anyway it's just a moments like that and now she's your wife she is not but she's my friend oh really yeah we were still bud stay Wow yeah did you ever like know Venus about that story with her Oh God I don't know actually I should I feel like I did tell her I did this one yeah cuz it's like we were young enough and like even if like we did quote unquote end up together romantically in second grade it's still like innocent enough that like I wouldn't have known what to do anyway yeah so it's not like it wouldn't have been weird you know like I feel like if you hook up with someone in high school and you like talk about it later with them it can be kind of like yes I do remember that dry tugging hand job I gave you at the Jersey Shore no it's just off the top of my head like the 3m well my friends were watching but like it's innocent enough in second grade where you can be like yeah remember that yeah I mean that really is your view on video games in a nutshell like a good time this is [ __ ] it's like in a heartbeat good dude the games gotta prove itself if I'm if I'm gonna devote my precious time to playing a useless piece of [ __ ] it better be the best useless piece of [ __ ] I've ever played right you say as you go ass first into lava four times no it's uh I'm just imagining like lasagna on fire and you're just like okay yo that's sacrilege right there bro claim that your lasagna bro bro bro listen listen don't you hate people that refer to you as bro and you've never met them before no I love that do you like that yeah it makes me feel like I'm right at home cuz I call my bros I'm like shouldn't that be even slightly earned bro bro bro you got any stamps stay low baby no no no no okay oh cool okay real calm one and huh this is the star right there no need to jump around okay oh now I just have to get this [ __ ] yes go on [ __ ] I can't remember what comedian it was waitin what's his name Christian Finnegan or something it's [ __ ] funny though he was like he's wishing a girl in the audience happy birthday and he's like listen I think it's wonderful that it's your birthday we should all treasure the fact that he'll of you 26 okay so 26 years and nine months ago exactly your father took his throbbing and gorged penis and plowed it into your mother's vagina Oh God so funny I loved it that's why anytime anyone's I guess the miracle of life I'm like you know how that miracle started sweaty wet Ujung and just that [ __ ] like it'll be super [ __ ] spiritual and I'd be like the pop-tarts actually affect your chakra chakra is another thing that Brian thinks is total [ __ ] it's really funny oh yeah they use all those words around him like he'll get so mad it's something else and I'll just be like ya know that really brings me like a lot of happiness yeah it's it's like this one time when yeah when I align my chakra like perfectly in in accordance with the seven Suns I just made that up but it sounds good he will go nuts okay yeah all right Wow sounds stupid yeah yeah no it's okay I mean if you want to believe in [ __ ] that's okay I know exactly what I'll say he's such a scientist [Music] just because he's a scientist doesn't mean he needs to be a dick Oh God I had told him that exactly a thousand times he's like well here here's his position okay and and this I completely empathize with okay he's like people die because they believe in this stuff oh sure like minoo alternative medicine is great if you wanna like do it while you get actual you know Western medicine but like you know some people will get acupuncture in the hopes that it cures their cancer you know or do Transcendental Meditation thinking that like I can cleanse my body of like a disease and then they die yeah so I was like you know I get that I get why that upsets you but then again I'm more open to understanding your position because God my [ __ ] chakras are so aligned right my chakras holy [ __ ] yeah you wouldn't even believe how many chakras I have right now like at least two I believe it's chakras know like like shock and awe yeah like count shockula or like shocking isn't it yeah oh yeah hold on this [ __ ] shooting fire I mean I got a jump on his head or or he's just gonna keep shooting fire I just I I can't even I can't even begin to tell you how [ __ ] angry that [ __ ] shy guy needs me it's chai guy actually what with the crying and such tears coming out of my eyes tears all pieces of water h2o eh that's how you say another languages a chase eh eh eh - uh I that's how Ross says it because he's a dumbass Russ Russ says some very interesting like little things that betray the fact that he is as American as a [ __ ] boomerang on the back of a kangaroo which is to say Australian yes well he's completely he's like hello I'm Ross until he gets around another Australian and then he's like Oh crikey hey going hey go mate again hey you going oh I got that Vegemite or suck any pain no likey do we even have Australian fans aside from views warrants they believe he's Australian fetus varnas is Australian is [ __ ] I don't know if we do we must well because I asked because like I mean we could let YouTube's algorithm is like it keeps it away from other countries that's it really yeah like we're more likely to have American fans because we are in America well son of a [ __ ] yeah but what if we want other fans from other kind of in those countries fine in the [ __ ] algorithm does it I've one of the [ __ ] blue coin he knocked me off how do we upload in other countries you go to another country and then you upload impossible it's more likely than you think what can we upload from Japan sure and then get crazy Japanese fans I don't think that would be very smart because we don't speak Japanese um you don't speak Japanese watch this okay you can't then put in a bunch of Japanese like your project how did you learn all that I know it's because um Kevin put in more Japanese please wow I don't even understand what you're saying I can't I don't have that kind of knowledge in my head obviously you don't Aaron but our new YouTube friends in Japan in the me on in the nihon oh [ __ ] this piano do you know it are you familiar with it whoa whoa whoa didn't realize that was my worst nightmare but it sure is oh god it's like a [ __ ] fridge from requiem for a dream damn son my book plays [ __ ] killer Klowns from outer space traumatized me so bad when I was a kid really yeah you've seen that movie right now is a [ __ ] disaster shout out to my boy Netflix underdog of the century Netflix it's actually Ned Ned quick what's up Ned yeah I got movies a couple of them I've got brother from another planet no if not as a matter of fact it's about it's about an alien who comes down on earth and he's played by the guy who was um Dyson from Terminator 2 Dyson they're like the the programmer guy oh yeah you can say the black guy it's okay you know the programmer guy he's holding the bomb and he's like gasping for air what does he look like oh you know he's got short hair yeah the black guy he's an awesome actor you well he was he was the main character and brother from another planet was he really that's a [ __ ] enormous step down from terminator doesn't he doesn't talk or anything he just kind of experiences like like I guess like quote unquote urban culture it's like a 70s movie oh he's so he's really young yeah okay and it's really crazy you should watch it I [ __ ] will Netflix has the weirdest goddamn movies say do you have jaws no do you have boobie you better believe we've gotten movie [ __ ] is Gugu B you don't even want to ask it's a [ __ ] disaster UB UB yeah there's some there's a podcast I listen to called how did this get made and I love it and I they've introduced me to a lot of gems goobie being one of them yeah it's like supposed to be like [ __ ] I mean like not like et and Jesus Christmas not like et but like like a like an imaginary friend come to life kind of thing right but it's a [ __ ] I'll show it to you after the episodes over okay yeah but I promise you you will not be happy I did you my name oh it's great he doesn't even have that pleasant of voice no I know yeah or the merry-go-round I'm sorry not the ferris wheel fairy isn't faraday the guy that invented fields no Aaron God invented fields we got a method peanut right now to do it no that was George Washington Carver you just run out in like an open grass field did you like who is responsible he's like guilty man your beard looks great God it suits your face I got all that oh thank you it does actually yeah well I'm glad we came to that conclusion separately from each other I didn't influence you at all except by rocking the sink beard yeah and then being sick beard sounds like the worst pirate please don't make me [ __ ] Cavan up with sick dude what weight it's like I'm not good at Mario 64 oh [ __ ] [ __ ] call the New York Times yes meanwhile I like I like get off playing bars for it I'm like ah man I'm gonna go like some voice acting for professional cartoon now yeah meanwhile on the streets extra no no no chimney sweep time I'm sorry I've got these papers yes I just have to get sixpence my legs selling papers on the street with bad legs it's don't steal the papers are [Laughter] so it just comes up and kicks out his legs I was too close to the mic to laugh that hard at the audio capture for a second of the way a file of my like gasping laughs was sorry Kevin probably deaf and is now up there this one's called hot pickle so he says hot pickle whenever you forgive me choose a level Nicole why I think he's I think he says here we go like here we go or so I don't know I've never ever looked in that what he actually says because I don't want the illusion to be broken for me oh my god it totally says [ __ ] hot picking god I want I want that to be a thing every time someone says here we go like the like Heath Ledger Joker and Batman I savage myself what [ __ ] I can't remember what it was from for some comedy show I might be remembering it wrong but it's like a robot and he's talking to the main guy hey nice job Thanks and he's like and the guys like giving him instructions I'm remembering this all wrong and the robots like embarrassing a moon in front of his friends because he's bringing up stuff that they talked about earlier and he's like but Tim you gave me specific instructions to savage or bertholle a and then he like opens the letter it's a savage my butthole I'm just wasting my time man I'm sorry seeing egoraptor approaching the door reacts to the starpower oh god I wanna you know I want to do that one time in my life why don't like it don't you know who I am because I'm totally not that guy but I want to have like one story that I can be like no actually I did I did do that one yeah yeah but like something over something stupid like a stick of gum or something no absolutely it's like this gum was supposed to be on sale like oh I'm sorry the sale into two days ago don't you [ __ ] know I am [ __ ] egoraptor internet celebrity extraordinaire you do not talk to me like that I'm sorry sir yeah like I'm at Starbucks and I like get like a panini or something and I'm like can I get some ketchup packets and they're like we don't have ketchup packets [Music] take off my sunglasses you may not you may not recognize yes I was wearing sunglasses I'm sorry I guess you just don't understand I wrote an Internet song about dinosaurs and lasers in 2010 I'll just you can just bring the ketchup to my car I'll be waiting over here in the handicapped spot so the latest news is that we are allowed to sing on the show but only for 10 seconds so we're gonna get through as much of this song as we can wait wait wait let me set my timer loser retirement I'll get the clock ready to get the clock ready and okay okay Jesus we might have gone over by a second [ __ ] up we might get sued all right sorry the outfield your song is too [ __ ] good it's too hard [ __ ] it up and we'll take way too much time no my god you got this I'm just rushing I'm just rushing that's all I'm just I'm from Moscow so I'm Russian just stop it just let me kick you in communist Russia Goomba stomps you ha ha ha honey joke oh god make me laugh did I just backflip out of being squashed in communist Russia you're good at Mario [Laughter] what of confidence accepted and appreciated oh boy okay [ __ ] you boo-boo you can't even kill you with the [ __ ] turtle shell I went on the wrong way game drums [ __ ] I have to restart this [ __ ] stage cuz I'm an idiot no no I didn't want I wanted to kill myself I didn't want to kill that thing you wanna kill yourself kill me kill me he's too weak to hurt me wow you won during the camera work you killed him no no he's throwing [ __ ] at me well you're in charge of the camera now looking him down in the court oh my god the screen just goes black crazy pills and do a little shrinkage do I have a shrink ray get yourself into a nice cold pool that dick I'll disappear on you you won't even remember you had a dick yeah it's gonna be bad you look down and be like wow when it's warm neato I remember you old friend how long's it been 10 12 seconds you come here and went to [ __ ] I do all right why do we mistreat our penises so if anyone has any footage from episode 1 because I believe I asked is this gonna take a long time you're like [ __ ] no dude I'm gonna tear through this [ __ ] I'm pretty sure I was being facetious okay okay okay all right bouncy Bach the box will protect me all right bouncy [ __ ] box I'm so glad this is the last episode of this session yeah this is actually the last episode we're recording before we go to Japan so so you can get a nice little couple weeks off I'm gonna come back to this [ __ ] Mario like this episode is just gonna be like rage and then the next time it's going to be like hey guys [ __ ] the most zamak centered show five minutes later [ __ ] cameras get ready for the night get ready for the next seven episodes of Mario to be yeah just a touch [ __ ] stupid rupee yeah little droopy droopy dog but we have so many stories to tell about Japan [Music] impression of Mario we are off to a solid start I haven't have I seen this room have we been here thousands of times and I just shown me never said babe and I'm pretty sure you never said that whatever dude I've seen sway more droopy episodes and you have I've seen some [ __ ] I'm trying yeah come out of Droopys butthole okay you know what we're gonna start over we're gonna start the welcome back to true peace [ __ ] damn it and start it over they call it a Nihon they called Japan itself Nihon yes okay so that got me thinking why the [ __ ] do we call it Japan and why the [ __ ] are they okay with that well if they call it Nihon every country has its own names for all the other countries in France the United States is it that unique what really yeah that's how you say the United States what does that mean it probably means the United States in French that's exactly what I just [ __ ] said well no I mean like the actual words put together oh well I mean like like Germany is Alemannia you know like a so what does that mean and why is it there how should i goddamn know that all right well here's the thing japan i will body slam you if you get saucy with me world slowest bodies I'm not getting saucy with you miss being informative okay the information I was gonna lay upon your [ __ ] thick skull yeah all these flavors you chose to be salty okay the thing that I wanted to tell you was Japan yeah they call it Nihon right in the Japanese language said this so why the [ __ ] are they okay with calling it Japan Aaron how many times can you say the same [ __ ] thing and I'll be like two different countries covered Chevy shut up shut up once prefer [ __ ] in your life so damn sorry yeah right say yes I'll just not go on with that self friendship over but anyway uh-huh Japan alright friendship back so as you know that Japanese language is made up of a bunch of silly looking characters yes they're called kanji yes they come from Chinese right that's where they originate from right so the characters for Japan are always the same in those two languages but in in the Chinese Marco Polo came back from China with the the characters for Japan which is pronounced in the Chinese the original Chinese Chi Penghu that's where Japan comes so you knew the answer to your own question yet you posed it twice to me well I had the question and then got snip snappy with me when I did I'm not no the trivia I swear to guy dude I will [ __ ] karate chop you in the head I wasn't posing it to you as a question that was I was just saying I had that question while I was there I'm in a [ __ ] when I looked up the answer in fact I prefaced the statement saying that I looked up the answer I'm gonna wait until you sleep tonight and then let my flaccid dick and balls dangle over your face in a classic Roman soldier helmet I'm a failure a failure my mom will never love me again she might know hold on let me get her on the horn she imrat why I see where Aaron gets his golden voice from do you still owe no marette don't know that was me this is mom okay hey sorry I know what do you think your son right now I don't know I don't really care much for him anymore cool well I'll catch up with you soon all right well that was me that was not yeah it's the timing I met a weird lesbian [Music] well then it's true I did what was it an LGBT no just was God - [ __ ] - [ __ ] this game okay no it wasn't she just was the only person who was my age on the boat and she was actually kind of nice but she was weird she would just say a weird person I can't see what her sexual orientation I guess I was thinking that saying that because I was gonna go into how she was like I've met a really unique carpet muncher is that offensive I don't know if that's an offensive term I guess it was just because it was a surprise cuz I didn't realize it oh yeah yeah and then I was like oh and she told me about how she was trying to I was like oh okay knock and that was really sweet and I was like you could do this and that but I was like a kid so I was like you can't hold it for him have you tried that just tell her you like her the kid logic with romance is the best yeah it's so nice what if you got her like like a like a lollipop yeah give her a fudgesicle she liked it but don't put it in your pocket a mouse you could put it in your pocket afterwards if it's yours and you don't mind that kind of thing because I don't my little nephew Nash it's done Wow well you're just through it'll my little nephew Nash still hasn't quite gotten the hang of life and doesn't realize like what's actually a secret and what's just very common knowledge but he'll present everything as if it's a secret so be like Uncle Dan I got a Sikh I'm like what is it Nash is like chickens go cluck it's not it's not a secret Nash's I don't mean to burst your bubble what if your [ __ ] is yeah what if it is and you don't even know oh I mean I go along with it I'm like no way stop your skin I want to tell you the secret guys I hate mario64 chickens go clubbing I've never seen such a complete turnaround with you towards any game during the course of playing it like wind waker like had its moments where you're like this is a little grindy this is a little boring but like nothing like this it's cuz this game is garbage Wow say it again Aaron I'm sure people love to hear it just one okay that's my opinion mhm no that's just like my opinion man [Laughter] but it's garbage yeah that's just like my factually based opinion yeah that everybody knows is true his I everybody knows I'm a I'm a game design genius and I know because I made one video about Megaman that I am but I know it is very good thanks but it was one video I gotta go that one if I don't [ __ ] make this jump in my pissed as [ __ ] oh okay wow you've been granted a reprieve doesn't mean it stings me less it was still a failure dude don't be so hard on you sound good well whatever I said oh yeah daunting this is good now this is very good kids yes oh don't do ya knock off the wall you piece of [ __ ] Mario spaghetti [ __ ] okay [ __ ] lasagna ass [ __ ] blue and red overall we are officially putting on our [ __ ] like get or done hats and we're just gonna [ __ ] plow through the rest of this game I love the word plow me too stomping off the mob especially when it's referring to yeah I'd plow that I'd give it a plow and jeez do you prefer plow or smash smash I'd smash that like I'd give it I like slam slam is pretty good give er give er a slam especially because the Onyx on what you ever heard onyx let the boys be boys Sam never I think you said that exact thing on this show because it's [ __ ] slam bionics whoa she just classic did you haven't you ever heard cheese nipples by the loop-free Barb's I mean come on it's cheese nipples by the front part as a matter of fact I have I just bought the the fruit barks anthology features prominently the entire cheese nipple demo sessions well don't make me look like an [ __ ] [ __ ] do it there he [ __ ] goes up on the yellow blocks and now he's climbing the blocks and he's [ __ ] in going on the thing and now he's going up a little bit more there's the spinny things I can't watch because it's hard there we go and now he's up there get your like live-tweeting mess up the [ __ ] thing then he's climbing the pole he's gonna sound horrible with the music overlay two different times wait where is he now well wait he just jumped over the cheese oh he's at the blue boy where did this one dude like why is that star yellow Oh God I'm fresh out of idea all right how about you go to a hundred stars instead of a hundred twenty can just yeah whatever well I'm trying to with this stage I don't I don't have the mental capacity much longer thank you I can't hang I'm like I'm like a [ __ ] hook that's not bending is it the way your analogies this is very relaxing music - go to sleep - the thing just I like that thing I like what I'm trying to sleep like and I like get into my cozy PJ's Wow I get my mug of hot cocoa and then I put on some frantic blue guys lizard you screaming in my ear for two hours oh boy oh yeah it's just someone [ __ ] banjo picking like a [ __ ] crazed weasel why why did the band failure call themselves failure I don't know I thought it was a pretty cool ironic name Kevin can you loop what just happened with like my nose in the wall and it going like it like 10 times please thank you Jesus no why why would you do that just grab the [ __ ] legs you've got a damn [ __ ] red and blue plumber no why did you walk off the edge like that you [ __ ] crap eating son of a [ __ ] Jesus stupid and I'm trying to tone it down I'm trying say four words because I was I was gonna go way [ __ ] worse than that yeah no I was gonna go some hard offensive [ __ ] we gotta go some absolutely racist yeah just some tumblr bait thanks for sure I've I feel something the overwhelming urge to leave this room and bang my head you feel that yeah listen man whatever your whatever frustration you're feeling in your heart mm-hmm I'm feeling first of all all over my body exploding my peepee second of all [ __ ] this [ __ ] oh man look man I'm up here I'm up here the [ __ ] flattest shits moving don't don't don't don't don't move this is my favorite where you get super confident at something and you're like [ __ ] yeah I got this and you're like no just a very honest I'm not the man I thought I was all right just gotta wait hey how're ya good [Music] I'd like to go to like a bluegrass club or something and they're like just was foreigners out there and then they play this song yeah and you realize that the song is actually a 15 second loop it's such a drive you insane yeah I think that might be contributing a little bit I am going a little bit insane look at this nice little you got a nice little groove going is it a groove just calmly going through a rainbow in the sky this is this is wonderful this is I guarantee you this is not a calm level you can't even muster the strength to be angry anymore that was just get in the [ __ ] get in there I don't have time for your sass oh my god you have time for your own size not plenty of [ __ ] [ __ ] to do other than watch you [ __ ] fumble around a goddamn brick hole you need to come home and Susan's kPa it's wrong baby you could be like I don't want to talk about it yeah I want to talk about [ __ ] Mario anymore whoa easy it's a cheese punch one GS she's looking [ __ ] going all back and forth there yeah where am I even boys textures are weird yeah this looks like a game that was made and like well the year that this game was made in 1995 I believe yeah I was gonna say well like I was gonna I was like man looks like a Windows 95 screen saver but guess what oh damn oh damn sure was meeting windows because max weren't the standard back then it's like that's me doing a jackoff hand yeah I am saucy as [ __ ] yeah I mean like I will [ __ ] on everything ever there's no room for the spaghetti on the plate you're so saucy your [ __ ] local restaurant that you love [ __ ] that place it's garbage yeah you're fit think of your most favorite family member [ __ ] them yeah they suck they don't know anything god what a crock of [ __ ] where does he keep up Dan you thinking correct a hundred coins could be [ __ ] huge dick he's got a share oh that was the other thing [ __ ] Kevin kept saying the entire Rutan trip there's a scene in Lord of the Rings where Frodo is carrying the ring and it's the worst burden in the world yeah and his friend Sam is helping him out and so Sam is trying to help convince him to let him help and Sam's like please proto share the load and Kevin loves to take that out of context to just be like share the load well isn't it like a really dramatic scene and then he's like sure the loo oh yeah yeah it's in slow motion there's a that whole movie is dramatic it's a very sad movie it's uh the fellowship yeah they're all set I mean they're wonderful they're beautiful but you're beautiful there's a lot of suffering that goes on in them and a lot of loads that could use some sharing well there you go let's say I kept my cool if you've gotten angry you would have fallen off there you think so yeah like like my dad who I saw I went to visit my parents for the past few days yeah and they're they're great everything's cool with my mom my mom had an amazing moment where she was like she was telling me that my dad is the one man that can turn lemonade into lemons look much like he can make like a good situation bad just because he's like a negative attitude sometimes huh so she was like you're the only man I know who can actually take delicious lemonade and turn it into lemon so my dad's response was sugar is bad for you the [ __ ] best oh well you know what I'm back on yeah it's like kinda like cool everything's cool you're like you're like that you like that Harry Krishna guy on the streets of Tokyo that we met who like like gave me his card his little card and then was like donation donation I don't have much money and he was like coins are okay and so I gave him all my coins and then like he was like nope and then he gave me the coins back and took his car it was not enough money for for Krishna yeah well maybe he was just teaching you a life lesson like that's that's life yeah yeah sometimes when you give people give back sometimes when you give it's not enough and you're an [ __ ] what a douche bag if he wasn't six foot seven I would have been like [ __ ] you man yeah he probably wouldn't have understood it though that's true he spoke very little English yet in fact the only word he said with any confidence was donation he seemed very clear in that donation yeah just like father buy why were you happy to donate so much we're talking about Daniel Coughlin yeah so for those it those of you who haven't heard us talk about this guy Daniel Coughlin is an amazing Japanese guitar player like an acoustic guitar player who plays in one of the parks in Tokyo and we know Parkway no park yes and Aron met him there and fell in love with his playing yeah and the only English thing that Daniel was what happened no she I listen to him play beautifully and I was like oh man this is like Heaven Sent like it stopped me in my tracks and I turned around and then I watched him play and then I was like I have to have to get a CD and he had like a thing of money and the stack of CDs and it was like twenty third two thousand yen for a CD and I was like great so I put two thousand yen and I bent down and I took one of the CDs and then like as I looked up he was like looking down upon me and and and he was holding what it was like I'm proud of you well I got Jersey there first you were talking so I looked up generosity in the apartment 3d you're nothing but a ho okay sorry go on is that just the clothes it's it's it's a bastardization of something from Goodfellas oh yeah I think it's Janice Janice Rossi okay sorry go okay so I look up from the the bin of money and CDs and I see him looking down upon me like a god with his flowing locks handing me a pamphlet promoting his music and he just says and I was like oh thank you and that's and you checked his Facebook and it really didn't have much yeah it didn't look like he was updating it really fair enough but go on with oh no but like one of our running jokes we didn't get to window park because it was raining a lot of we were there but one of our running jokes was the hope that he would be there and Aaron would go speak to him again and his English would have improved only to the point where he could say that that phrase better so he'd be like hey man it's great to see you again like a Japanese and he'd be like I have things excuse me dude your golden voice excuse me I am currently in possession of a Facebook page promoting my music oh wow so you you speak English well honey you know what's gonna happen tell me on these on these episodes what's that since I'm all like calm people are gonna be like man give me I know it's gonna happen as Barry was just showing me the the best stuff stuff the other day and and he was like wit some of the funniest moments were when you like raged in Mario he like showed me a couple of no [ __ ] you're telling me well I feel like I got like front row tickets to the Rolling Stones and the Beatles at the Hollywood ball it's it's an incredible thing to witness firsthand oh thanks ah geez it's the best thing about my job it's not so bad it's not so bad because I know how to I know how to calmly and coolly get back in the cart with it yeah it's it really is true and I mean what's the objective swinging in the breeze I guess take your pants off oh yeah just that easy it's not be great [ __ ] go dick out and then the stars just like like a for Pauly God like not a whole lot of physics yeah well I would love to see Mario's [ __ ] I'd loved it like cannon I've seen plenty of [ __ ] like oh it's Mario and Peach like you know fan art yeah but I would love for it to be like no this is canon this is what Mario's dick looks like you know what I gotta tell you regarding that rule 34 stuff yeah a little concerned at the way all right I may or may not have looked up my first rule 34 thank what was it it was the only cartoon character I've ever found like attractive Jessica Rabbit Wow no actually no nor the lady Amalthea from last unicorns that was gonna be my next guest well cuz like I think she's the most beautiful but like I don't know hmm I don't know hold on give me a hint uh I must have said it before she's she's in a forty uh maybe take a nice like game over just means another opportunity to play from the beginning okay Seth MacFarland character Lois nope oh yeah the wife from American Dad [ __ ] know it Francine baby love me some blondes so like she we were watching an episode of family of Jesus American dad and I was like my god that that character kills me and my friend was like dude you can just rule 34 that and I was like Jesus Christ you're right and it is not as sexy as you think it would be I don't because I think well I've seen plenty of Simpsons porn and I didn't go looking for it by the way no no it's on a normal porn site like in the ad section you want to see cartoons [ __ ] and it's like no no not those why do they always go to the family members having sex with each other is a huge turnoff for me actually there were no turn-ons involved I just like I went to it and I was like nope mmmm closed laptop yeah it's always like more his son and then the mom and the moms like he never comes home to me and then the sons like I don't know how to do it like that's how it always it's every single plot of those [ __ ] 909 T fours of American cartoons I don't know that was that was my um that was my 110 second experience with it filled with immediate regret sorrow and shame in no particular order just a good amalgam of those three emotions I don't give a [ __ ] yeah I whack it the cartoon porn all the time [Laughter] talking about Lisa Simpson forget about yeah I mean in the show she's like seven but in reality she's like 50 it's okay she's a spiky headed cougar yeah Bart's like 75 what because that shows been on the air for like a zillion years oh oh yeah can't lie to you they're [ __ ] actors are like crazy old well Bart was like Nancy Cartwright's like hold this [ __ ] hi Nancy check this [ __ ] I promised someone I'd ask you where that's from but I don't know I just made it up seriously yeah that's up from anything no you're a [ __ ] genius I I did I did and I'm bored on a plane MA uh-huh well yes yeah see there's a carpet down here too I'm a [ __ ] genius wait I didn't want to go this way it might have been slightly uh might be slightly inspired by Max's cartoon max Gilardi yeah he did a he didn't invaders in cartoon all right just goes but that's a he's a talented fella I just my god that's my favorite go to like goofy voice me too might not mind too I should say because it's what inspired both lemon and Bill who I'm not familiar with those characters were they from before you were any good totally getting are you [Music] you know they were where they're like grunt faces came from right yeah yeah well lemon is yeah actually changed his face in the last episode of lemon in bill whoa yeah to be more grump like who like that I thought he looked a little too like like he had a problem you know and this one he just it's mad but in the other one and the ones before it he looked kind of like like maybe he needs to go see a doctor oh sure yeah I have that look often yeah it's weird just hanging on a flying carpet and everything and you know not big deal er I think y'all written both flying doing whatnot it's so weird to watch you do voices because like I'm not I'm not a very good voice actor but like when I see voice actors do stuff I always expect their faces to be doing something crazy like it like it can't just be that like you know you think I'm gonna speak in a different voice and then you do it but apparently in [ __ ] is ya trying to chase down the green mushroom stop turn around we're never doing well why we're such an [ __ ] to bill I'm trying to [ __ ] figure out where to go and I don't know they get cool is it next time I guess I know we got like 30 seconds damn well I will entertain you with a little bit of lemon II barely goodness yeah another character me yeah sure all right so just hanging out with my friend rutabaga over here hey yeah I mean it's pretty cold every day you know just hang I would go to go to the coffee shop and everything uh but I look funny story they told me Rebecca is changing coffee and I feel like I brought a lot to that okay so I figured we'd raise the stakes a little bit since this is episode 45,000 mario64 mm-hmm for anyone who watches our second channel grump out which is literally our like whatever the [ __ ] Channel yeah they probably saw an episode where we ate gross Harry Potter beans jelly beans some of which are gross and others are delicious jelly beans oh but I thought it'd be cool if we kind of reenacted that while we do a gamegrumps episode so oh that's a shame that's a shame that's got to really get your gander no it's it's just one of the many possibilities that this game provides you as a player you really just got a really gonna soak it all in marinate so I just open the jellies for you Kevin yeah close your eyes without looking grab one you've done this slinky pole and okay this propeller [ __ ] doesn't okay show it to me before you eat it okay and eat that's not good oh this was a bad idea that looks like earthworm yeah yeah you ate an earthworm why don't we have a spit Cup I don't know you want line hold on I'll grab do I want one no I'll just let this earthworm flavored jelly beans settle in my mouth you know whatever I'm done I'll just swallow it smells terrible I can't even see the hole okay we'll see now we're raising the difficult uh-huh I'll eat one too let me look at it take a look okay okay well wait is it Pleasant I don't know is it I gotta see oh my got the story I don't think who's I don't know for this no it's not you got rotten egg creep Sonia [ __ ] tricky triangles this idea sucks tricky triangle yeah why do we just have to keep getting the bad ones alright well Dan's leaving the room I think to get us big cuts he understood the importance of it I mean when I when I get one and I'm like ill gross he's like we don't need to pick up wolves jeez and doing a solo let's play sports hey everybody sorry I was about to do a markiplier impression and then I'm sorry Marco Pilar anyone who caught that reference what was that today's the grump Kade today that was the first crumb kid with mark and I like the moment Barry was like did you see the new chrome kid intro and I was like yeah I made it and he was like not did you see oh I didn't know I didn't know we were doing a show with market Pilar so I went into his room and I was like hey man I'm sorry it's about your name Roy and he's like oh no it's hilarious oh it's not good no let me see the box oh oh it's not good it's not good okay it's soap there's something about like hearing it and and tasting it where you're like oh I'm actually eating so yeah your brain finally makes the connection but it's it's just about as healthy as any other jellybean yes yeah I'm sure you're right but it like legit it's like it's in like it's like lodged in my olfactory senses you know like where smell meets taste you want to talk about olfactory right okay sorry yeah it's just super weird because like it takes you right back to that um that animal place where you're like you know I ate a toad but like it probably was poisonous and like my systems telling me no wait a thing no that's bad bad bad are like when you have a smoked salmon from a hotel buffet it's like why did you do why did you do this so I am an idea here's another fun story from Japan I actually was like a little sick I have stomach problems in general so sometimes they just lay me up and so I didn't end up going on this side trip but but it turned out to be a blessing because everyone who went especially berry god [ __ ] horribly food poisoned okay so we already was laid up for days yeah well he got it like late like I got it immediately like that day we were on like a we went to kiyomi's Adaro which is like a Clearwater spring in a temple mm-hm and it's beautiful but we didn't anyway I was like I'm not going anywhere and everyone was like oh come on man I'm like I feel horrible it was one of those things were it was like riding the line where it was like maybe I'm okay less yeah like I should probably sit this one out and when we were on the Shinkansen back I was like man I feel like I'm gonna vom so like I I fell asleep and then we made like a sudden stop and I was like I got up and I brought a bag with me because I knew I [ __ ] knew it [ __ ] knew and so I [ __ ] like went to the bathroom and they were both occupied well here goes and I just vom straight into this [ __ ] plastic bag and it's like in this pretty nice attendant was like oh like like she didn't speak any English but she was like oh and she was like is the movement like bad and I was like I was like no it's something I ate just for a girl and she I went to the bathroom to like to like pour through a bag and then I walked out she was still out there and she had like this piece of paper that was like in English and had like pictures on it and she was like pointing at it she was like what's wrong and I was sake I was like don't worry about I'm fine online there's a couple of just making out next up oh yeah yeah for the whole [ __ ] flight my god just I guess they were a new couple which is fine like I'm not even against public displays of affection but like put a cap on it man like no one it was like they were showing off like look at how in love we are which is gross yeah so I kept trying like make like gross noises so they'd stop like it would kill them first it started off like like a little quick things like that uh-huh and then eventually it got to like full-on like yeah nothing stopped him that I think at the end of the flight they're like thank you so much for making those noises my girlfriend is so into like the sick thing the sick the UM yeah I bet they were like that kind of really blue [Laughter] just slurping on each other at least I didn't have a [ __ ] halitosis mouth oh yeah you you get people with foul breath yes we have good luck with people next to plans next to us on plans yeah I have the worst luck I don't I don't understand the only one time I had a good flight was man I wish I could remember the story but essentially essentially what happened was like it was it was very silent for like most of the flight and then we were getting close like we had a really good conversation she was like a pretty girl and it was like very pleasant right and and then she said something that was like so like oh I don't want to talk to this person anymore really like some like weird like political stance or something I'm like yeah it's really cool I've always wanted to go there I'm actually a scientist I study you know Beach patterns and and how they form I hate black people you're actually like threaded the needle quite impressively through everything it was a colossal an incredible failure yeah Oh like that would have been oh that's a good way to break a coccyx yeah that's your ass bone well at least I got the the pink we don't have to do this what do you mean I don't have to do this watch I can take a shortcut home sweet did I tell you my friend broke his coccyx it's a terrible story it sounds like it hurts yeah he had to wear like a diaper cast yeah yeah not good not good in school girl school geez why did I get transferred for one day but yeah Jarvis Ganon's the man but it's funny because like he did I mean it'd be mean or anything like um see this walk-throughs and like he's just about as good as I am at this like every so often it'll just like die and then he'll restart the level to be like sorry I died there you're making a video that you can edit later it's really funny because like every time or you start a new one you're like God thank God for Jarvis guy like two minutes later like men that's exactly how people must watch this we're doing a show and it's like whoops you know well the value of the show is of talking over it so if I die you know whatever haha but like what are you doing walk through and you die it's like well I might as well start this over so that it's not like no time or anything and it's like I know I love it I love that guy the best job he has helped us out for yeah we've made it to episode 60 something is this yeah something like that this couldn't be episode 64 could it that'd be great 64 64 Oh nope nope nope nope nope nope nope next time I'm game how is it that I did it tired of this how is it that I did it last time so easily so easily and then this time next time I get reps we will have already accomplished that part oh sure about that yeah how about it hey are you the one getting upset how about that Batman I thought you were not so girl I'm totally chill Batman so I feel like you know what it's funny like my sister and I went traveling one time uh-huh and I'm I'm pretty chilled by nature and she's pretty chill by nature but I remember like bad [ __ ] kept happening to us and she was like she was getting pissed off and I was like down it's gonna be okay like there's no reason to be pissed and she was like no it's because you're not being pissed and someone should be pissed about so I feel like maybe that's what it is like if you get super zen-like I'll just have to pick up the anger whoa secret secret stage is it like do you have to get stars on the stage or is it just him it's just I just had to get to the end then I fight him off as far as I remember oh [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah oh [ __ ] [ __ ] is right Dan oh [ __ ] [ __ ] what the hell oh my god we're [ __ ] with physics spelling that pH uck ing music this game is [ __ ] me what would you say the worst [ __ ] is absolutely it is the worst right well aside from like racial [ __ ] yeah racial [ __ ] gets like a special category yeah yeah racial [ __ ] is like a power up for it yeah yeah I don't know it's weird it changes over time certainly [ __ ] was not you were not allowed to say it when I was a kid it was a big deal to say [ __ ] oh yeah but [ __ ] now is just kind of like hey bad batch I say to you guys every time I see you yeah yeah like I remember I mean they'd never say it on TV certainly and then Beverly Hills 90210 was the first one to be like she's a [ __ ] and everyone was like yeah that's part of the reason that show was so [ __ ] cutting-edge and popular at the time it was it was willing to like ride that line and now sometimes I feel like I hear the word [ __ ] on TV you do yeah well that was a that was like a major part of South Park it was the episode where like they found out from the censors that they can say like [ __ ] as many times as they want because of like the timeslot or something really yeah so they were like well then and they miss an entire episode where they just had like a [ __ ] count oh I do sort of remember this now those guys he's give him an inch take some [ __ ] yeah like you always do we should make a game from some musical I would love that really yeah I mean I guess that's kind of what star bomb is but I know what you're saying oh there's a one man who okay so this is what I was trying to oh but oh that's a sneaky cry I told you it was sneaky is far that's the sneakiest coin I ever do that on camera no I I didn't see it okay I wasn't paying attention okay nice and chill let's get that camera good and so you bet all right here we go finale time is this it is this Bowser oh [Music] you again oh wait give him a good voice well that's just fine Mario you're getting well that is fine I've been looking for something to fry with my fire breath your star power is useless against me your friends are all trapped within the walls and you'll never see the princess again I love a good wah ha ha whop ofof aah whoa whoa what your did you pull like the King Kong vs. Godzilla hey yeah there we go it's a long vowels I'm damn dude oh oh why am i calling for [ __ ] dick I'm coming at you but two miles an hour Oh mommy oh you're gonna get it oh well you went into my tummy and it doesn't feel good for me there goes oh you got my tail oh [ __ ] up oh my fall off the edge now oh no I'm just a with you well who is on [ __ ] church organ I think the Phantom of the Opera in here same guy who's playing the bluegrass yeah yeah yeah he like had his face burned by like Bowser's fire and so now he puts on a mask you plays organ so freaking out I owe you again yeah who's happening to me right now the back is arched forward and my butt is out yeah my balls are erect and we're playing the feud [Music] oh I understood she's just like I told you - you did it's all your fault now split the difference between those two things it's like a difference of like two milliseconds yeah I'm sorry I thought you wanted to be the best very best there we go that's from telling me I mean I wasn't getting upset or anything I think it's totally cool yeah playing ever been cooler really cool well my car it's cool down a little bit come on I mean dude there you go nice yeah just keep gently nudging him yeah that's the way that's the way to do it yeah [ __ ] stop when you don't even give you a chance oh [ __ ] okey-dokey oh this is for all the monkeys in the bar oh oh it's a star now that's what that is no I got electrocuted electric I got electrocuted [ __ ] it's like way out there yeah damn it don't [ __ ] do that again don't do it again how about this again you did it again yeah huge cool damn it yeah I think you need like three or four big swings can't take that much pressure one and two and three are you dead stop on that tums okay he's dead you just strengthened man that really that's really sad yeah you just kind of sit there oh god this is just have a game ends credits roll oh no it can't be you really beat me Mario I gave those strokes power but now it's fading away ah I could see the piece returning to the world okay standed hmm not only yet that's not good come on Tropes let's watch the ending together what oh you did it yeah yeah buddy yeah I mean it's alright Shh come on be happy to them to be happy oh wow daddy likes drops of Pitt from Kid Icarus comes at too bloody wing stumps like um yeah [ __ ] back please yeah how else ow Allah it just stings to move I am becoming dark pit so we we did it yeah dude waited [ __ ] go thanks oh let's see what non-sexual reward you get from the princess this time she gives you she gives you that cake dude oh that's right she's like I begged you to go and he's like oh you meant that real cake cool I guess I'll put my penises hey she's she's pretty yes falls on the ground it feels like a hundred years we did stuff too I guess apparently one of them gives you a star and I just I just didn't know great oh you can actually hear Thank You Linda who is did the voice Minh Linda the executive producers wife right and it's all thanks to you Mario kisses me on the nose I'm gonna spin around in a circle and yell here we go see how that works out let's bake a delicious cake he's like oh yes yes the baked a cake what was he like looking up at us oh I love it is they yeah you see that [ __ ] I got a kiss on my nose I'm going to bake a cake you know what I mean really go fishing for some class you totally get it right yeah these tacos are going to be devoured it's taco I can just smell the fish one of us was banned to take it too far I love vagina Oh Daiki look at all the different places you've died yeah we'd learn whatever we will have samples Sam peas okay Mario there now I remember [ __ ] sharks in this game yeah well thank God I didn't see him don't care for him don't care much for these wonderful agonal this [ __ ] blew us sure did yeah snowy the man for anyone wondering what that sound is that's Aaron [ __ ] compulsively opening and closing a plastic lightsaber I do that all the time yeah I know six people people watching this are good just gonna hear like it's like a Darth Vader lightsaber the SGI n64 project staff do you think they're still together yeah can I call them do you think they still go and get beer on Wednesdays ah the QE we have a Japanese friend with that last name yeah the good people those four Kiwis yeah Leslie Leslie Swan that's that's who was that was Princess Peach Mario you didn't you're very close it was I [ __ ] knew it he said Linda yeah super close yeah Wow the EO ed staff little lead staff there's actually a dude and there's a dude in f-zero called mr. Eid yep and it's it's because of that means a Starman bow oh really yeah nice and his stats are EAD for his his good like all the stats are like a 3d no man you [ __ ] those credits really took me on a ride like this game was a [ __ ] journey yeah now it's over final thoughts Aaron thank you so much yes it was all of me who made thank you so much for looking at the McCade oh and thank you lovelies for being with us on this journey this is a fun one you notice how nobody's eating that cake cuz they're busy doing something else oh [ __ ] eating dinner first yeah playing pin the tail on the donkey Wow alright so time to figure out what the next big-ass playthroughs gonna be a second coal running blood-borne series I'll work on punch-out and I'll work on a Link to the Past - it's gonna take me a little time yeah yeah I'll get to work on that you know what chicken butt okay alright goodbye everybody goodbye love you I don't okay

Channel: Figgy

Views: 2,886,767

Keywords: Super Mario 64 (Video Game), Mario, Video Game (Industry), Mario Series (Video Game Series), Video Game Culture, Game Grumps (TV Program), Wii, Best, Friend, Moments, Nintendo, Mario Bros, Mario Kart, World, Peach, Yoshi

Id: chd2qjrqvLw

Length: 179min 25sec (10765 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 08 2015