Solving Laziness with Asmongold | Dr. K Interviews

it takes me about twice as long they get everything set up whenever I do it just good call it's completely fine okay and so what's your name friend Zach or asmin gold whichever what what do you prefer uh let's go what's good about that okay cool nice to meet you Zach I'm I'm although for some people call me dr. kay I guess most people don't see doctors who but you can call me all look or whatever you prefer it's not all maple it's all oak all oak okay perfect just like the original Sun script okay awesome man so Zach I don't everyone is super excited that we're talking and I'm not sure exactly why but they seem to be super excited do you have any idea I've had a very interesting history I mean I think that I don't know if you've looked at any of my previous stuff at all but I think that one of the most I guess famous or I guess infamous things about me is my room has always been very dirty and so a lot of people correlate that with something being wrong with you or something like that and sure they did they probably think that something like that has to do with it I do have to disappoint people though my room actually is pretty clean right now though I apologize okay so I mean but what do you think it what conclusions do people draw about the dirtiness of your room in you ah basically that I don't have my life together it's a complete mess I'm depressed I I think so don't not having my life together my life being a complete mess for most of my life that's probably true but okay the part where yeah yeah I mean let's be real but depressed mmm hard to say III don't really think depressed is the right word what would you use to describe it there oh I mean like there I I think it's just lazy obviously like yeah yeah lazy I think that's really the main thing like there have been times that I have been depressed about certain things sure had medical problems with my parents I've had you know ups and downs in my stream things have made me depressed like situationally but not gone I believe like a mental level sure so help me understand what what what do you mean by lazy so there is one time that my alarm went off in my in my room I was like tired to wake up and die instead of turning off the alarm I let the alarm go for two hours maybe three hours until the arm died okay can you hold on just one second yeah my Boomer ass needs to make a phone call because I may be doing something wrong thanks for being with me and I appreciate it it's no problem then usually trendex it's okay it's okay five minutes okay cool we fix it all right so you're saying sorry I think we're good now so you you said that you were you're lazy because there was a yes I think that was just it's more or less a metaphor of how lazy I am why am i lazy because it's easier to not do anything than do something that's fundamentally what it is and I'm I'm very good at adapting the things whenever they go wrong I grew up very poor so if a light goes out I just stopped using that room yep that's that's how that's pretty much it and sorry this is the last interruption I promise I just got a tea delivery how convenient that's great yes it's actually really awesome um so tell me you said that you learned how to adapt by like you know something breaks like you just learn how to live without it yeah like I've had a box fan duct tape to the side of my PC whenever I my fan on my graphics card broke because I couldn't afford a new one I literally had a bike with one pedal whenever I was a kid I I mean there's plenty of other examples but yeah I mean I grew up pretty poor so I'm just used to you know if things don't go the way that I want them to that's okay and I just do whatever I can and when you so where did you grow up if you don't mind me asking Austin Texas okay we're in Austin whereabouts uh I don't like to say okay cuz like oh yeah yeah I don't but I I grew up in a poor part of Austin not not forget very poor I don't want it make sound like this is a rags to riches story it's just a thrift store clothes to riches story or maybe not quite riches but slightly more successful than I was sure and are you still yeah I know I'm not supposed to ask people kind of where they live but I I get excited about people who are in Texas because I grew up in Texas East Texas went to school in Austin I'm back in Texas now really happy to be back here awesome yep yeah before I before I stopped before I started streaming I actually was planning on going to to UT law or maybe Baylor good thing on which one I would get accepted to cool it then I decided to uh play World of Warcraft instead can you tell me a little bit more about what and growing up was like sure I actually to be to be honest with you I actually really enjoyed my my experience growing up trend I had a lot of like really great memories and uh in a way I'm almost sad that I can't just relive it now honestly like I had I was surrounded by all my friends my family my parents were well in general I was very happy oh yeah yeah I mean like there were negatives of course there were negatives but if I look back on it I I can't say that I regret a thing sure yeah I think one of the most confusing things for people is that they assume that being poor means that you're you will grew up unhappy and also that being rich means that you grew up happy or that you are happy and one day we weirdest things that I remember there was used to work in jail and I was just really surprised because I had one patient so I would work in to jail like basically one day a week and you know I had like a clinic outside of the jail so I had like regular quote unquote regular patients and then I would see people in jail and one of the things that really struck me is that I had a guy who was an invest banker and like he was suffering just about the same as the dude who was in jail and it was like a really weird thing to like realize but if you really just asked me like how much is this person suffering on a scale of one to ten both of them were suffering the same amount and also the Burghley huh successes of prison I you know it's funny you say that but I think that I've been working a lot with people with impostor syndrome recently and I think in a sense that really can be which I know is bizarre I think there's a lot of gatekeeping around suffering and who's allowed to suffer and also gatekeeping around happiness because like who are you like if you grew up and you were poor like how can you possibly be happy like how does that work I completely agree with you I know that um so this happened I've taken a number of breaks from streaming about like three technically but two like more popular ones and or more known once and before that I was streaming a games a classic Wow and I my stream was seeing success that had never seen before like I was getting up to like a hundred thousand viewers and I had like thirty thousand subscribers it was very very very successful but I was actually enjoying myself a lot less and I was whenever I had you know comparatively only like twenty five or thirty thousand viewers playing before classic Wow it came out and I I realized at that point that there were a number of times that I had wanted to go after and like meet a certain goal so I think my main goal that I'd always wanted to hit was 10,000 like average viewers are hitting 10,000 viewers period and then once I hit that goal I didn't really feel anything it didn't feel good and it's always been a pursuit of doing more and more and more and I think that after I did classic Wow and I had that experience with which is what you're saying with the investment banker and I was doing so well and I was so unhappy and I was stressed out and not enjoying myself I realized that you know there might be a little bit more to this and what do you think is what what is that more I would say like since a purpose internal fulfillment maybe something like that uh uh you know for me personally I I always felt like in a way that I kind of embody something that's in a way like kind of meaningful to a lot of people and they want to watch a stream and see that kind of exists and for many people I might represent you know remind them of an old friend or you know maybe an opportunity that they didn't have of being Who I am you know I'm a guy I'm you know almost 30 now and I play video games all day I live with my mom and I would say that in many regards I'm quite content not all but many regards I'm quite content and I think they don't number people like kind of resonate with that because for many of them it's a road not taken' and I I feel like I kind of had this responsibility as being a creator of being that person for other people out there who didn't really have the opportunity to do that and more so also for younger people because video games were very transformative and whenever I grew up and I think that the experience that I had playing World War Craft whoever I was 16 17 you know around that age you don't really have the same experiences and abilities to you know prove yourself as an individual you know you're a 16 year old loser 17 year old loser who cares what you think but the moment that I got put on even playing field with everybody else you know like kids there were 12 and guys that were as old as my teachers and I was able to succeed in that I think that built up a lot of self-esteem and confidence with me and because of that I feel like I've always tried to promote that type of environment for other people because it was so impactful and meaningful for me and it's oh oh go ahead no go for it oh well so whenever I was doing what I was doing in classic Wow and playing it the way that I was and having the type of stream atmosphere I felt like fundamentally I had moved away from that and I think that was a big problem yeah do you think about this stuff a lot oh yeah I make videos about it constantly III think about it a lot I I lay in bed I I think all the time oftentimes I'll lay in bed and instead of like watching a movie I'll just sit there and think yeah I really appreciate I appreciate you as a thinker I I try to be I mean I feel like it's something that's not as common nowadays and I feel like people feel like they need to have like an external type of validation or external type of mike-mike reinforcement uh well a viewer account is like a very guess yes like of your account basically but it goes with everything it's like people that feel like oh they're not doing enough in their real life or they're not meeting these standards according to what celebrities are doing on on Instagram they're not making enough money compared to their friends I think this is you know it's prevalent throughout everyone yeah sounds like a very comparative world here describing oh yeah I mean I think everybody is being compared especially with social media you know you have so many quantitative measurements of a person's perceived value mm-hmm that it's very unhealthy so I would love to hear you talk more and at the same time I'm I'm kind of trying to remember or hold on to the idea that sometimes people hear you know a lot of our audience I think benefits from people sort of sharing their personal stories as opposed to intellectualizing or philosophizing which i think is certainly valuable and I'm curious is there something in particular that you'd want to talk about today that you maybe want to work on or want help with or want to better understand sure um I think that if I was gonna go with anything I would say the failure to commit to things and the failure to actually execute on plans that I have okay I've had a number of plans and I think I'm probably a victim of my own laziness more so than a lot of other things and like there are a number of like ideas I've had for streams that I just haven't really done for example I've had like technical difficulties with my stream that have just existed for months now and I just ignore them and they diminish the quality of the stream and the weird thing about it is that whenever I actually go through and I clear out all my message or I do something like that I don't really like you know I'm not really a agoraphobic or anything like that but I also like to be alone and so you know in some ways I don't really like going and uh talking to people and I just want to be left alone basically and I I do that for a while and then I think a lot of people can probably relate to this is that I won't respond to somebody for a while and then I won't respond to them after that because I feel like it's outside of the normal societal expectation or you know later yeah it's too late now oh man too bad you know I guess I'm just gonna ignore it again and so I've I've done that a lot and it's been a problem I think with a lot of like kind of friendships I've had and everything like that and also like kind of focusing on my stream a little bit too much I think really burned me out before and I used like kind of the metaphor of and this is in my 2017 or 18 of I metaphorically killed myself Zach and I became asmin gold right and I focused entirely on my stream and I stopped dealing with you know the people and and everything like that and coming back I've wanted to be more of who I am really and I think that's been something I've been working on but it's hard to do that whenever screaming can be very stressful it's a very emotionally draining job sometimes and it's sometimes I do feel like kind of after I finished my stream I just want to sit there by myself even though that's not necessarily what I should do I think that twice sure to delete why should you do that well because I feel like it's kind of like what I was saying a minute ago whenever I was talking about how whenever I would see someone or talk to someone and do the thing that I was like kind of putting off doing and I would actually do it I would feel better at the end but the anticipation and like kind of the the wanting to do it or not wanting to do it overwhelmed that and so you I was basically prolonging a negative feeling and preventing a positive feeling sure that's always been like a big problem that I've had like with schoolwork with everything yes oh yeah let me just see if I kind of cuz I think there's you know Zack there's a lot every time you speak there's actually a lot there and so let me try to unpack a little bit about what I heard and maybe how we can focus things are you feeling okay I'm feeling great okay so the first is that you said something around a failure to commit and what I'm gonna kind of zero that in on is like how can we understand what is laziness like what is laziness where does it come from another thing is sort of this idea of like failure to respond so that you have certain duties or things that you should do right so let's talk a talk about it as the problem of should right yeah and it's kind of like I should do this and like you know that something is good for you but you can't seem to do it and so how the [ __ ] does that like you know it's gonna be good for you you know you're gonna feel better and then you have like you have two options in your mind right you can prolong negativity or we can let go of negativity and become positive and it's like why on earth would you never pick prolonging negativity well the problem with me is I go for a third option where I ignore the negativity I pretend the problem isn't real and I just go on my day and I'm like hey this is great I'm happy and I'll might do it tomorrow or the next day or you know I'll do it at some point in the future and this never really happens since that you know I put things off for like a year yeah so like like it's almost like a willful distraction oh you're not really interacting myself yeah so how does that work and then the third sort of theme that I'm hearing is something around burnout in the war between Zack and asmin gold which like that that topic I'm happy to talk about but we like literally talked about that on Wednesday with this guy named Jake and baked and we talked about the war between Jake and Jake and bake oh I I think that you'll have that conversation with every streamer I have had that Congress with every streamer so so I feel like that one is sort of I'm happy to have it again because I think it's fascinating and we can sort of you know zero in on different nuances and and try to understand what's unique to someone and what's common but I think that maybe there's a little bit more mileage to be gained over this idea of laziness in this like failure to respond willful distraction like those are the two buckets that I think could be you know I could try to tackle with you let's do something different okay so what do you want to what you want to talk about laziness or you want to talk about the willful distraction ah I think that they're kind of both things oh yeah I get that they're connected so like let's pick a direction um I think probably just laziness because London as I said I'm I'm generally a Content person it's very easy for me to be content with things whether they're great or bad and I am you know I am what I am and so I don't I I don't really worry about doing a lot of things I guess it's kind of weird I can I'm very good at just forgetting problems and just not thinking about them sure so you you sound you seem to me to be happy Zack are you happy yes sometimes I'm not always happy there are a lot of things that make me very sad but there are yeah I'd say overall I wake up in the morning and yeah so let me rephrase so I think happiness and sadness are emotions yeah I guess what I'm talking about is like so happiness can sometimes be referred to is like an existential thing or an emotional thing I get the sense just listening to you that your eggs essentially healthy even though you may not be emotionally happy at times I am until I think about dying then yes I would be the only thing oh yeah I think about it a lot what do you think about dying oh that's that's it's a bad time what's bad about well there are two things that can either happen you can either exist forever in eternity or you cannot exist forever and I think both of them are equally terrifying what's terrifying about them the human mind cannot process infinity you can't understand what infinity is or at least I can't and the uncertainty of it because I've thought about this a lot and I've thought to myself I used to be very very afraid of this and it doesn't matter what happens it doesn't matter what you do it doesn't matter what you can do you can be mother Teresa Adolf Hitler or you still end up in the ground and there's no running from it or hiding from it or anything and I don't know exactly how I never really knew exactly how to understand that and I thought to myself I was like well if God would come down and tell me you know hey I'm real all this [ __ ] that you read in that book that's a hundred percent true and you're gonna be you're gonna be just fine would that make me feel good well I thought about that for a long time and I thought yeah it would and then after a few years about thinking about that maybe five or ten years thinking about that I thought wouldn't that also be kind of scary because that means that your entire existence is premeditated do you really exist if you're a construct of somebody else's goals they said I'm saying yeah I see what you're saying just give me a second okay so what's scary about not existing for eternity I don't know it's a weird thing because every once in a while I'll I'll get to the point of you know I don't know I can lighten meant where I'm not bothered by that but also there are times where I'll lay in bed and be terrified and the only thing that I can ever do to really reassure myself is to remind myself that I am a hyper intelligent monkey that doesn't really know what's going on with the world that's the only way I can ever ever make myself feel good about it okay remind myself I don't know I'm gonna toss out a third bucket and I think this bucket is probably the lowest yield bucket but maybe you know maybe somewhat interesting and that's like what's the deal with death so you know I think this is tricky because like generally speaking I I have a particular so I think about it as a Padma a duty so I think about having like a duty to the person that I speak to and I just try to think about you know every time I stream so there's also all oak and dr. K right like so I have that struggle too and I the way the simple way that I get rid of that struggle is I think a little bit about like I just think about okay what is all oak doing what does dr. K do dr. K streams to like you know thousands of people and tries to do a Oh a healing and all that kind of good stuff which is fine and great and Noble and fantastic and all that kind of stuff but all it just tries to help like just random people that he talks to and anytime I talk to someone I just think about what can I do for this person mm-hmm now I'm I'm running into a little bit of a problem because all oak and dr. K are fighting right now and what all oak says is that I would love to talk to you about death in the nature of existence and and what happens after we die and to give you a sense of give you a road or a road map to finding peace around this issue and then dr. K says that I don't know how applicable this is going to be a lot of the people watching or probably struggling with laziness and having a multidisciplinary understanding of laziness in terms of spirituality the function of the mind yoga meditation psychology neuroscience and like sort of be like the science of behavior is probably gonna help more people because like that's people are lazy I here's how I look at it go for I'm a very pragmatic person uh-huh and there have been many philosophers over the thousands of years Jesus Buddha Confucius Nietzsche and you know all these people who tried to explain and you know philosophize about death I don't think we're gonna get any farther in this call well yes I mean I completely agree with you but I think the reason that we're not gonna you haven't you don't think we're gonna get anywhere in this call is because you think what does a philosopher I think the reason that you don't have answers is because you're looking for them in the wrong places really where do you think I should look so let's think about this for a second where does knowledge come from experience okay so how many conversations can you have how many people do I have to talk to about having sex before I understand what it's like to have sex it depends on what they tell you so like let's okay so like you know what could they tell me that wouldn't help me understand what having sex is like like how many people could I talk to uh well I mean I I think that I I don't know I mean I think that you're implying that you have to see it yourself is that right no I mean so you're the one who said that that I asked you where does knowledge come from and you said experience and so then my response was like okay how many people do I have to talk to to understand what sex is uh well I mean I think it depends right I mean you're gonna have first-hand experience of actually doing it yourself and that's very direct knowledge and then you'll have second hand experience what a second experience mean there's somebody telling you like a man I hooked up with this girl and it was great you know and this is what happened is that experience uh yeah I mean I guess yeah is it not do you think that it's not no I wouldn't call it experience I'd call it words right so Sanskrit has two words for knowledge one is Vidya Vidya is objective transmissible and also like information another word for knowledge is neon which is subjective experience all and non transmissible yeah okay yeah that makes a lot of sense so first-hand experiences neon secondhand experiences you call it is Vidya it's something that can be exchanged between two human beings do you feel like the two of those one of them is more visceral than the other absolutely because one of them is subjective and one of them is subjective one of them is completely visceral and the other one is not visceral at all yeah right I understand that so so you've been grappling with the problem of death for a long time and have you been approaching it from video from Jung I've tried to do both okay so tell us about that um well I've I've considered like reading different like you know what do you call it like different like holy books right I've thought about I've always been that ready yeah do you need a refresher on the definitions well I mean I guess you can't I mean I've never died yeah I think sleeping is the closest thing that you have today sure and I've always kind of used that is a little bit of a you know a smaller metaphor of that and in a way I guess you could say that I have had experience because before 1990 I did not exist okay yeah yeah hey so yeah so okay so let's think about this for a second do you do you fear what you were before 1990 I've done this one myself no not really no I don't then why do I hear what happens after you die because what happened after 1990 didn't happen before I never had the experience that I had I never had the the friends I had I never had the emotions I had I never had the the yeah experiences and okay then yeah everything so so so then then we can see so that's a subtle but important point right because then what we're talking about is that your attachment or your avoidance of death is out of an attachment of life that you're really you're really your only complaint with before 1990 is that you didn't have the [ __ ] that you have now ergo what you what you want to avoid is you don't want to lose what you have net no I don't so that's so if we think about so then it's sort of like it's sort of immaterial and now it sort of makes sense right because you kind of said if there's life after death and there's eternity of consciousness then that's scary and if there isn't consciousness that's equally scary therefore we can conclude that like what you're afraid of has nothing to do with whether you exist or not after you've done what you're afraid of good right because the bumps that those options create the same reaction to you it's all the same whether your life ever after I've decided which one is more terrifying yet yeah but they're both terrifying so like therefore we can conclude logically that like the terror doesn't come from either of those things because that doesn't make any sense mm-hmm so then then and we hear and what you said it's just consistent with your earlier feeling right which is that what you're afraid of is the loss of what you have it's an attachment it's not about like what happens to you after you die it's not like about your consciousness it's the lack of the experiences that you have today that you're afraid of yeah and I I did a thought experiment with this and I thought about this a lot what would happen you know how would I feel if basically whenever you died your soul was effectively recycled and all of your experiences were wiped and you just did it all over again and I still don't really know how I feel about that yeah because your what is a thought experiment is it been the early on I think it's on attempting to be Vidya its Vidya attempting to manana oh I must have gotten them yes I forgot I'm confused right so so it's it's like it's thinking your way it's like it's like a thought experiment about sex is not an orgasm so like like you can think you're wet and this is why I think you don't think that the conversation is going to be productive because you're thinking that the answers are gonna come from the conversation the answers aren't can come from the conversation all the conversation is gonna do hopefully is give you a roadmap to experience because I don't think you know how to do that um no maybe not yeah so then I guess this is what we're talking about you want to go back to laziness we wanted to do this uh I think that we can do this maybe a couple more minutes and then we can go back to laziness I'm okay so let me a couple more minutes oh okay yeah let's see what we can do so so let me let's start by sort of saying that like do you do you follow me that I think that your your fear of death is is not a fear of what's beyond it's a fear of loss of what you have now it's a fear of the loss of life so much so that I actually I I whenever I was very young I began recording a lot of the things that I did whenever I was a kid and I want a video camera whenever I was 11 years old because I had the foresight then I realized that you know I thought to myself I can't really remember what happened whenever I was 6 but I always want to be able to preserve and keep the memories that I had and I've always done that so I would never forget yes so you're holding on to life absolutely right and so then if you want to conquer your fear of death I notice it sounds [ __ ] like a meditation calendar but what you really have to do is let go of your attachment of life that's no saying about the moments of enlightenment yeah so so now let's talk about that like what does that even mean a moment of enlightenment what does that mean when you confront things that you're completely afraid of but for whatever reason you're not afraid of them you you look at the you look at death in the face you look it for me a dentists or wasps these are two things I'm very afraid of and you know you look at that and you just do it and you you approach it and you I don't know like really what the best word is for it but yeah I don't think internalize is it but you let it become part of you and you accept it as a reality that's okay to be the best way I could verbalize it yeah so so then let me ask you let's ask some questions about the quality of moments of enlightenment so you say they're moments ergo it's not permanent right yeah so what fluctuates between a moment of enlightenment in a moment of not enlightened uh I I don't really know because the weird thing about the moments of enlightenment is that sometimes I'll feel that way whenever things are going very well and I'm happy and other times I'll feel that way where I don't care about dying or anything like that whenever things are going very not well and I think that's really kind of interesting because both ends you know the both ends of the horse-shoe meet at the same place nearly and I think that's what happens okay excellent so that's a very important observation that the current state of emotions does not affect the moment of enlightenment and in fact the beauty of the moment of enlightenment is that allows you to experience both of those extremes with a certain tranquility yes right so like that's pretty cool so now we can think about a couple of things so the first thing that we figured out about moments of enlightenment is that they fluctuate it's not a permanent state it's not like you know when you're leveling up and Wow like once you hit level 14 you're no longer Bumble 14 right you're never gonna be level 13 again we think about life is sort of a linear progression is it not well there are moments of enlightenment linear progression a it's more or less an acceptance and a just a complete acceptance of the linear progression III think more so okay so I'll unpack what that means in a second but like like let me just point out to you that like even in your words right you call it a moment of enlightenment it doesn't imply a linear progression it implies temporary because it's a moment oh yeah right so so the first thing that we can understand about moments of enlightenment is that they fluctuate so it's not like you level up and then you're more enlightened than you were the day before it's not a permanent game it's a fluctuates of consciousness I do feel like learning more things and having more experiences and thinking more does help me have them more often them but there's a very important subtlety there right okay you can level up your capacity to some of them more often but they in themselves are not permanent that's a big difference you can level up your ability you can level up your odds to have a moment of enlightenment but the moment of enlightenment is not something that you can level up no it's it's it's perfect yeah and then it goes right so like like what we're talking about is increasing the odds but we're not talking like there's a big difference between you know it's like how can I say this okay so like in wow we've got different colors of loot right yeah and and so like at the end of the day like a treasure chest has a certain like loot table and so we can level up the quality of our treasure chest just because we are getting a high quality loot doesn't mean that we're gonna get a high quality loot next time it's like each treasure chest is its own roll of the dice each moment of enlightenment is a temporary thing that has a one-time result you have that moment of enlightenment or you don't have that moment right so I'm just pointing out that there's a fluctuant there that's not linear a flexion so it's not linear right so it's not like a moment of enlightenment it's not like you left up and then you're enlightened more you can level up to increase the quality of chests that you get but at the end of the day whether you get the moment of enlightenment or not is still like a variable like it's not yeah you don't you well you don't have it all the time yeah I think this is something that I remember I think that it was like yeah I think somebody has like Mother Teresa or somebody like that what they what they pray for and they said prayed for faith and it was kind of a weird answer to me because you'd assume that somebody who is such a devoted you know servant of God would not need to worry about that no but even the most desert devoted servants still also pray for faith yeah is that kind of what you're saying absolutely right so because I think of faith what they talk about so here's what I think a moment of enlightenment and then is I'll sort of give you and now I'm gonna give you a paradigm instead of asking questions you're welcome to attack or poke holes in it okay so movements of enlightenment or fluctuations of consciousness and consciousness fluctuates right like we know that consciousness you have sleeping and you have waking and then even in waking consciousness you have different modes you have lazy consciousness and you have non lazy consciousness and the frustrating for a lot of lazy people is that they're able to do the right thing sometimes but then we have the perception of linearly levelling up and then they wake up the next day and they're not able to clean their room the way they were the day before and they're like how the [ __ ] does that woman because I could do it yesterday I should be able to do it today but no that's not how it works because it's not linear it's just the state of your consciousness at a particular time allows you to do things or not do things like sometimes if you run away from the dentist and sometimes you face the dentist and the interesting thing is that you would assume logically that like they're in the moments that you face your dentists your fear is lower and because your fears that's why you're able to face them we actually look at the data that's not true your fear is always the same sometimes you're able to conquer your fear in other times you're not right okay and so what's happening is that the state like it's like now like it's not that we level up our character it's that like the controller that we're using sometimes works really well and has really tight controls and does what you want it to and sometimes the controller you're using is unplugged and when the controller unplug is functional controllers it's a really dysfunctional control your character is the same but like sometimes you can activate your character and sometimes you can't activate your character yeah sometimes you can be you can overcome things and sometimes you can I think that dichotomy of instead of trying to lower your fear you're effectively making your controller better is that kind of what you're saying yes right so what I'm saying so like I'm just I'm trying to point out to you that you say that you have these moments of enlightenment and like it's weird right because you're saying they can happy happen when I'm sad and when I'm gonna be and that's like an odd thing odd observation but let's not let our preconceptions shape the data let's accept our data for what it is and change our notion of how the world works so moments of enlightenment are independent of happiness and sadness moments of enlightenment or temporary there are things that you can do to cultivate the occurrence or moments of enlightenment which you can't ever make them you can't ever guarantee them I am all too familiar with that getting loot in World of Warcraft yep absolutely right fundamental understanding come on yes yes so you can set yourself up to get whatever you know illidan's war glaives or whatever that that first orange loot was before weeks but there's nothing you can do to like like you can set yourself up to get that drunk don't like at the end of the day there's a certain amount of rnjesus involved and that's how moments of enlightenment work right at the end of the day you can't ever 8:1 so now the question becomes okay hold on let me think about this so now where do we go from here okay we were talking about death you with me so far oh absolutely okay so now I'm gonna hold on let me just think Oh huh hello okay don't yell okay all right all right all right apparently I'm destroying people to here drive I guess I decided to yeah apologize guys for you know destroying your eardrums okay let me think about this okay so now we figured out a couple of moment actually beat some moments of enlightenment right okay so then we were also talking about laziness we were talking about the fear of death do you want to know what's weird is that I think the moments of enlightenment and enable the laziness tell me about that well I mean I think that fundamentally the understanding of you know kind of eternity and infinity makes the current problems that you have seem less important I think that really matter anyway you know what I mean yes I think that the moments of enlightenment this is subtle I don't think the moments of enlightenment actually encourage laziness I think the moments of enlightenment are hijacked by the part of you that is lazy to justify its own ends because during the moment of enlightenment your laziness actually decreases drastically what happens is when the the laziness returns to your mind it takes the experience of the moment of enlightenment and it uses it for its own ends I progressed so it's a subtle difference but it's very important so when you actually are in a moment of enlightenment you're the very opposite of wasy yeah you're not controlled by your emotions you don't seek distraction and then what happens is the lazy [ __ ] slides back in and he's like hey you remember how you were enlightened earlier if you were enlightened earlier like we don't need to worry about anything bro yeah yeah everything's gonna be fine dude just don't just don't worry about it it is what it is exactly so but now let's think about it don't worry about it bro is that a thought that comes from the moment of enlightenment or something that it isn't the moment of enlightenment I don't know that's a really interesting question do you think that it doesn't yes so I think that the moment of enlightenment has a very similar thought but in a completely opposite direction so there's a huge difference between apathy and detachment so the moment in the moment of enlightenment you can acknowledge that things are as they are and you cannot control them and that's okay and yet let us and let us not be concerned about the future let us do the thing that we need to do now and there's a very very smooth there's just a Razors Edge between detachment which is letting go of the consequences of your actions not concerning yourself or being controlled by the future and accepting fully what is in the present there's a there's just a razor judge between them and apathy which is the future doesn't mean yeah the nihilism of good yep right so it's it's a very subtle difference but it's like it's soft but it's gigantic it's the difference between what I would call detachment which is Vairagya in sanskrit and apathy III actually I really like I like that a lot I I agree I think that growing up I was just very used to just detaching myself from things and you know accepting things for how they are and because of that I don't really it's hard for me really to motivate myself to do something because I can just very easily not care about it so there is a difference so I think you're doing both I think growing up you did both so there's a difference between not caring right so like just think about this so there's a difference between not caring and and appreciating what you need so I think when you were growing up I do think you had moments of enlightenment that's why I think you grew you were a hippie despite being poor because at the end of the day that you know the end of the day what I did for both the guy in jail and the investment banker is teaching them detachment and both of them got happier has nothing to do with your external circumstance yes oh I think what you were able to do growing up is like wreck like appreciate your life for what it was even though it may not have been good right there's a difference between appreciating it for what it is and not caring about it okay I think your not caring is laziness appreciation and acknowledging it for what it is is the moment of enlightenment yeah I I I think that is definitely a razor's edge and it's like enlightenment versus nihilism and oftentimes it's you know it's really just making those moments of enlightenment and everything making them fundamentally more healthy in a moment enlightenment is is perfectly healthy you can't make it more healthy but you can make more healthy is the laziness that uses the moment of enlightenment as ammo for its own ends all right yeah right so that's the complex that you need to work on which is like what is that type of mind that takes your moments of enlightenment and uses them in the opposite direction from what your moment of enlightenment actually does yeah I don't really know what that is yeah right yeah I don't really know I'm not sure okay so let's talk about it so now we get to laziness okay okay so we've sort of navigated moments of enlightenment I feel tempted to ask people a poll because I have no idea if people are following what we're saying um but anyway we can just keep going okay okay can I think most will be able to relate to laziness yeah so let's talk about laziness so now now I want okay so okay people are saying yes okay fix mic okay all right so now let's talk about laziness okay so let's talk about so Zack what I'd like to do is help you understand that your mind is not a monolith that your mind is actually like a 40 man raid and each part of your ray does like different things and sometimes you're gonna get a Leroy Jenkins in there the laziness is like the Leroy Jenkins when it takes all the other 39 parts of your mind that are functioning well and it says [ __ ] you guys we're gonna go and then it puts your mind in a situation where like you'll and that's when you that's like Leroy Jenkins is the reason that you can't get out of bed and listen to your alarm clock for three hours because there are all these other parts of your mind Leroy Jenkins is also the reason why you know that there's something that you should do which is gonna make you feel better but then you choose not to do it and continue existing in the negativity there's a thousand voices in your mind that are saying the sangguk get the [ __ ] out of bed and there's Leroy Jenkins going then he just charges right in and there's like [ __ ] rusty you guys right that's what your mind is that makes sense yeah okay no that's that's true I mean I think that yeah there's always an internal struggle and the worst part about it is that you know you're doing it when you're doing it like you know you're [ __ ] yourself up you're sitting there on your computer not doing the [ __ ] that you need to do not doing the work that you need to do and you know you're doing it and you keep doing it yes so how the [ __ ] does that work honestly the best way that I've ever found to understand it is because it's just simply easier not to do it I can sit there and I am in as you know the Isaac Newton you know yes so so that's that's hmm and also a really insufficient understanding right so like let me put it I'm going to rephrase it when you say it's easier to not do it I'm gonna recalibrate that as your mind has like a behavior equation and it has reasons to engage in the behavior and reasons to not engage in the behavior and they're a bunch of variables for that equation and when you say it's just easier not to do it what I'm translating as is at the end of the day the behavior equation is tipping into the negative and not doing there's like a really complex calculation and we can think about like using the Benham right so we have like when do we engage in the behavior of using the meter like when do you go to the bathroom I mean like what I need to write but are there times that you need to go that you don't go uh-huh yeah I mean like if I'm in the middle of something I'll put it off until then exactly right so we can see that using the bathroom has two variables how how available was the bathroom and how much do I need to go and there may be times where you go because even though you don't need to go it's highly available and there are other times where you really need to go and it has low availability so you don't go to the bathroom you know over time if you think about like even using the bathroom there's like a little counter in your mind that is slowly ticking up and as this as your bladder fills up with urine like it's kind of interesting right like you don't how much you need to go to the bathroom it's not like zero to a hundred percent it's linear your bladder fills up to the to a certain point and the and it starts to stretch that's like I need to pee I did the same thing with filling up my car with gas like I'll literally wait for the the light to come on and then it's like that'll be the one time that I have to be somewhere in eight minutes and I'll have to get gas so like now I'm gonna be late and it's like I think to myself I'm like bro like you could have done this like while you were driving the wind ease yesterday afternoon when you had nothing better to do yeah but one time I need to do that and I it's not doing it I keep doing it and it's just it's just like why don't you pee every hour it's because your your body is not signaling it's like once we crossed the bladder stretch threshold then it's time to be and what you perceive is laziness is that your mental bloom is not being stretched until it's ready to stretch and this is sort of like well we kind of operate between and let me know if I lose you okay so like generally speaking gamers operate on an axis of desperation and complacency and there's like you're complacent and then you get desperate and then you're prompted to action and then once your desperation goes away like you look back at yourself and you're like wow I studied like 18 hours in 16 hours and that was amazing and like I can't believe my didn't and then you go back to being lazy you're like back into the complacency and then now I don't have to do it anymore exactly so then you're back to complacent so then complacent complacent complacent complacent complacent bladder is filling up filling up filling up filling up filling up stretch and then it's like oh [ __ ] I got to do all this [ __ ] now I could have done it all that during during that time but that's not how we work so we have this really complicated behavioral mechanism in our mind that prompts us to do things and not do things and it is my belief that is the it is the lack of understanding of that behavioral mechanism which we interpret is lateness I I like that a lot I think that that's a very good metaphor yes I think that's very good now let's think a little bit let's dig in right so tell me about laziness what do you mean by that I mean having a thing that I'm supposed to do and then okay let's stop I okay what do you mean by supposed to do something that needs to happen so like for example does it need to happen well that's the conversation I have in my head and it's like actually ah you know we'll see what happens right because I've had the worst part about is I've had times where I just put something off for so long it actually went away like this has happened before and so it's it's bad to have that happen because it really it's bad to have that so now now that's just right because like I think the first thing you've got to do is recognize that your perception of the problem is not actually what your brain sees is the problem and we didn't even get to the problem said there are things that I'm supposed to do hold on stop for a second what do you mean I supposed because your brain is like bro why the [ __ ] do you need to clean your room it doesn't make a difference like your brain is not gonna let you walk five miles for a glass of water when you can get it from your sink right like your brain is fundamentally like this the other thing is we're not lazy we're efficient we're designed to be efficient like kids do you know do you know why kids skip wife gives skip school know why they skip like you know what skipping is like physically oh oh it's kind of weird I like kids skip they start skipping at some point in their life and then they stop skipping like what the [ __ ] is up with that then it happens like what what age of kids skip seven yeah it's [ __ ] weird what's with that the reason that they skip is because due to their height their muscle and their beanies skipping is the most efficient way to move there's a certain like magical ratio when they're a certain age where skipping is actually like more efficient than like walking or running and it's a very brief window and once they like cross that certain threshold they don't do it anymore and here's the other thing that I weird question you ever seen kid skip no cuz they don't hit that body mass ratio that's why fat kids don't skip it's like bizarre like our brain is constantly iterating to make things as efficiently as possible I okay so do you feel like is obviously there are certain people you know with the the wide spectrum of people's like sizes and muscle masses and everything in adulthood do you feel like the reason why people don't do it as much in adulthood is because of the social norm so skipping naturally disappears like by the time you're like 12 right like you don't see me major skipping okay and that's just because it becomes inefficient it's just an efficient way of movement so it's it's completely inefficient for an adult no matter what you have adult are yep absolutely it's like it and that's why they start at 7 it's inefficient for a five-year-old efficient for a seven-year-old and like by the time you hit 12 or 13 it becomes inefficient well whenever you see people skipping usually after like a really happy event happens in their life you know I like you see us in movies all the time how does that fit into it is that just kind of because at that point it's an emotional expression it's good it's not a mode of movement but like words will skip when they're not happy they'll just skip like they'll just yeah transit from one place to another through skipping and it's just like a weird phenomenon right like as they just start doing it around the age of seven and then they sort of like to stop and some some fat kids do skip by the way but yeah I'm sorry for asking so many questions about this no idea yeah okay I think that you're right about being efficient I'm I've always been I mean I'm so efficient now that you know I found a way to have people pay me to sit at home and play video games yeah like I consider that this is the pinnacle of my efficiency no absolutely right and so it's also the pinnacle of your laziness yes so like let's start by sort of so you say it's things that I'm supposed to and then then you say I need right and then you use this word need and where do you get the idea that you need to because your brain is like hey bro like in the past you've thought that we've needed to do things and you turned out to be [ __ ] wrong so why am i going to invest all of this time and energy to do something that is unnecessary I'll give you a pretty a pretty strong need and my teeth see that missing teeth I'm also missing other teeth that are easier to see or sorry harder to see they're not gonna grow back and it gets worse every day why do I not fix it well I'm lazy and I'm afraid of doing it that's fundamentally what it is okay and like I and and this is how lazy I I really am these teeth are fake but I only fix this side because I always look at this monitor to stream with and I never really look this direction on stream so nobody really ever sees that one okay so let's let's unpack a beautiful example okay so let's think about this like so what is your brain I'm gonna read I'm gonna read I'm gonna re brain that out of laziness okay you ready for it so the first thing is like why do you fix one side because your brain is like hey bro we only really need one side because this is the way that in streams so like why would we fix both sides if we only need one side it's pretty [ __ ] ridiculous when you verbalize it isn't it no it's not ridiculous at all what I'm telling you is it's the exact opposite of ridiculous it makes perfect sense you even know why you fix the one side because you only need to fix one side well here's the problem though is like I believe this is true too but then I tell other people that and they think that I'm crazy yeah so I want you and everyone else at home to start with the default of you're not crazy because very few people in the world are crazy just because you don't understand how you work does not mean that you're malfunctioning this is the biggest problem with our entire generation agree with you entirely by a hundred percent agree they assume that ignorance be hums malfunction when it has been my overwhelming experience that like the world makes sense and that human beings operate like not randomly like we're not random right we have all these organ systems we have a brain our brain is a super complicated organ it's not a super complicated organ it hasn't grown itself evolved to be this malfunctioning organ it's in fact the exact opposite our brain is a hyper functional organ which has allowed us to dominate the earth and like Hubble into space and we think that the thing is fundamentally busted because it doesn't want to fix a one side of your mouth like no man like your brain has a damn good reason and you even know what that is so now let's work good I'm very good at intellectualizing things for me not to do because well it is a good reason in that context but if you only eat with one side of your mouth let me tell you there are problems that that causes sure and yeah and ultimately I just don't think about those problems and that that's it and so even though I know it will become more and more of a problem as time goes on I just kind of let it happen yep yeah I think that's really okay just stop talking for a second sorry they're just just once I I don't want to lose because you're saying so much good [ __ ] I literally have to write it down because I need to respond to it so once I wore it no problem I know sometimes this comes across as being an [ __ ] I really don't mean that but like you were just talking about pure gold and the answer is right there so I really want to capture this okay I'm used to dealing with [ __ ] all day this is not actually being an [ __ ] trust me okay yeah okay okay I'm pulling it closer to me and the gain is down okay thank you okay okay feet oh [ __ ] I lost damn it don't me say what I said before nope you okay okay yeah keep going now okay so yeah I think that's kind of what happens is I will do something and even though I I know that it will have a bad long-term effect I will just do it because the short-term effect is worth it to me and you know for for some degree I don't really like I don't like going to the dentist it'll make me take time off of streaming so it would just be easier for me to just simply put it off and intellectualizing these problems and thinking them through and rationalizing well I can I'm really good at this I'm really good at that it's the same as I can video games you know you have like one person that's really good at doing you know spell that you know casting magic spells and another person who's really good at you know shooting a bow and arrow and I always intellectualize this is I'm very good at doing certain things and very bad at doing other things okay I completely agree yeah so this is what we're gonna do okay hold on a second okay I'm gonna do a little bit of a screen show okay I'm gonna actually try to draw out an equation for you okay do this I'm gonna switch and then I also have to screen show you a screen not do that you can't see this can you not right now no you right-click the transcript yeah there we go now okay can you see me okay yes and you guys okay so now we're gonna we're gonna unpack the behave we're gonna call this laziness right so tell us that this problem is gonna be why doesn't Jack get his teeth fixed right so your answer is because I'm lazy and scared oh well no no no no no no no no okay we'll get there because you're lazy right this is the conception that you have okay so let's think about let's think about I'm gonna put an equal sign here I don't know exactly how this is gonna work cuz I'm working this out okay so like let's say that oh actually let's let's do it this way let's do a plus fallin and a minus call okay so reasons to see see the dentists and reasons to not see the cons okay so like in so what we want to do is like either this is gonna be this way or it's gonna be this way right it's gonna be either more so and then basically as long as you're winning this it's gonna be a complete mess okay so as long as it's this way this means you don't see that that de stright yeah and and as long as this is what you're doing we call this lazy do you see that Oh conclude like if you're gonna let this you call it lazy right yeah okay so so let's think about reasons to not see the dentist you're afraid okay reasons to see the dentist your teeth is broke yes okay so that let's think about this for a second so you have the capacity to not think about things and distract yourself right yep so what do you think if I were to I'm just kind of run with me for a second right so like what distraction does is essentially decreases the value of this variable yeah pretty much do you see that okay so the better you are at distracting yourself what happens to your laziness or it goes up absolutely right so like yeah for us gamers like here's the problem there's like boomer distractions which is like one downward arrow and then there's video games which are designed to make you forget so what video games actually do is they shot off the parts of your brain that experience negative emotion so there's huh if you ever had a day where like your internet didn't work and it was like the most productive day of your whole month I think that's yeah I actually haven't sorry but I can totally get behind what you're saying yeah because I remember days where my internet didn't work and I just painfully tried to distract myself in tons of unsatisfying ways but still ended up procrastinating that's honestly my recollection of days when entire that didn't work I didn't have a computer I didn't become productive I just distracted myself and enjoyed myself less yeah I sometimes I'll actually have a very productive day if I my computer stops working or my internet stops working because there'll be nothing else for me to do yeah that's really awesome I'm glad you can have that experience I think unfortunately many people don't have even that experience so let's let me ask you this okay so now let's think about it's more and more of a problem so there's more and more of the problem go on the plus side or the minus side whoa I mean like it'd go on the plus side absolutely yeah why is it doing this thing [ __ ] you there we go okay so now we're gonna learn something really important about the brain okay when it comes to the brains behavior thing how does it rank future rewards versus presents I mean to ask mobile game developers this you know the instant gratification is king yeah so I want you to understand that that like there's something funny going on right like you say it's more and more of a problem in that it's gonna be a catastrophic it's gonna be catastrophic in the future so you wouldn't think that a catastrophic result in the future is going to bias you towards action today yeah but here's the funny thing is like the further off in the future it is the less important it becomes because that's just how our brain works right like the animals that survive are the ones that like sort of bias themselves towards the president like when when there were primitive human beings who are being faced by tigers and if they thought a little bit like if they thought in that moment about okay like if the tiger attacks me and I lose a limb I won't be able to harvest or so my fields so like that's gonna be a real problem like no like that's dumb like the the human beings who survived were the ones who faced the immediate problems right and so like the the issue here is that sure it's gonna be more of a more of a problem in the future but like today what do you do instead play video games absolutely right so so just because it's gonna get worse and worse every day that's not actually a reason for you to like do something about it today it just means that you don't have to do something about it today because you can do something about it tomorrow and then tomorrow rolls around and you can do something about it tomorrow so in a weird way yeah right right yeah so let's think about a couple of other things oh yeah so let's like think about this right so like so let's think about one side of the mouth okay so if we change this to one side of the mouth like if we're thinking about one side yeah the mouth how does that change your equation because like then is there an immediate benefit of getting your teeth on one side of your face fixed yes there is is that way right yeah it would help this stream I I don't there I'm fine portraying myself as a degenerate but I do draw the line that missing teeth right so it's like what the interesting thing is that then what happens is like today moves over here yeah and then once today moves over here what do you do just forget about know what whenever you get it fixed right cuz you by that's oh yeah yeah right yes so that's that's why guys like there's an immediate benefit to it which is that when you stream you're not gonna look like a complete degenerate in life and like this this isn't gonna make you look like a complete degenerate for a long time but like you don't want to look like it you're okay with looking like a complete degenerate a year from now your brain is even though it terrifies you right and this is the other interesting thing is that the more emotions that you pack in based on your future failures how does that affect our diagram as you think about being a degenerate in the future what do you think that does to your laziness uh well it depends I mean like it could make you want to be less lazy because you wouldn't want to be a digital right in the future or you could just put more of it off into the future and think I you know what you know that's not happening me right now I'll deal with that then okay so let me ask you a question great answer where - which column does shame going less lazy or more lazy both okay excellent so let's think about how can it be both well I mean you go to the dentist and they're like you know they tell me about other stories about other people who have had the same problem and it's like yeah this person was addicted to crack this person was homeless or whatever and then it's me yeah this person was just lazy I mean you kind of feel like a jackass okay so how does that prompt you does that tip the balance towards doing something or away from doing something away from because I you know self.cards even confronting it yep so shame goes over here right the funny thing is that like the more and more of a problem is it is that increases your sense of shame and as your shame increases you you become more lazy does that make sense um yes it does I think there's there's another like weird kind of circumstantial variable with this which is they told me that they were gonna have to pull out all of my teeth and then now they're telling me that they're not cuz I'm seeing a new dentist so before the reason I didn't get it fixed as I just said [ __ ] it they're gonna pull them all out anyway I'll deal with it later and you now yeah I have more of like a immediacy of fixing it okay yes so so now now we can see like so you see how today puts it in this column and future puts it in this column so you're even saying I have more urgency because like you can't yes become less future-oriented it's become more present oriented yes okay well because I thought before the damage was already done and so it was a guy you know what who cares right now there's no alteration there's no alteration over your trajectory if the damage is done so why would you rent it yeah that's it's lazy eats but yeah okay sure it's annoying to eat so so now now I'm gonna ask you so like now the question Zack is like okay so all this stuff is is great all ocher dr. kay what the [ __ ] do I do about it right so let's think about this for a second okay you know how can I adjust these variables to tip the balance in the other way if I want to do this like this if I want this to happen what do i what can I do to this equation to like make the arrow tip this way lose the shame absolutely right so now that's why that's why I showed people on my stream so that's who one is Shane okay when I step you chain okay sure except one uh III think be less afraid okay you know in my kind of the in the same is like there's a moment of enlightenment there's also moments of courage okay okay take aim and your thumbs so we're actually gonna put moment of enlightenment over here right so let me ask you when you have a moment of enlightenment what is it due to your laziness well we were talking before about how it kind of hi Jackson laziness so I Jackson after work not during them or during it um yeah III think I I usually just I do what I need to do right exactly good way to San yeah so moment of enlightenment goes over here so the laziness paradigm we'll talk about in a second but then what else can you do to anything else that you can see in this equation that we could adjust to decrease your laziness a lot of ways that you could say it but make that the future the future is more finite and so because it's more finite then this is not the way I'm going to represent Oh perfect right yes and now now you said there's a lot of ways that you can say this is the first thing that I want to point out to you is doing this logically doesn't help right telling yourself that you shouldn't be ashamed or that you shouldn't have fear and logically trying to overcome your fear or play around with this philosophizing laying in your bed how does that affect your laziness it really doesn't very thinking about your emotions does not actually change them okay so thinking and telling yourself I need to be focused in the present does not change it right like now we get to Vidya and yawn Vidya doesn't change behavior or very rarely but it's not a good predictor of behavioral change yawn is a changes through experience right so like like this is where there's a shift in mindset to be present focus versus future focus and this is like what all the Buddhists are talking about like what there wasn't a philosopher it's become a philosophy it's become something that's posted on Instagram it's become something that's tweeted but Buddha wasn't teaching philosophy he's not a philosopher Buddha was like a personal trainer for the mind he was saying there is a systematic process to take your mind from here and move it here there's a systematic process of changing your mindset to be present focused as opposed to future focused you can literally train your mind huh okay you're looking at it more functionally absolutely it's all functional and then we have so on the opposite side of functional is something that the psychotherapist stumbled upon and they said that if we actually sit with a therapist and talk about your fear and shame something magical happens people start putting their lives together it's [ __ ] weird like I can talk to someone like I it's weird I can talk to someone about you know how they were bullied in high school and then they start eating out I mean eating healthy and working out and the reason it's like not connected at all it's not like they're coming in and talking to me about like because sometimes they do that people will come in and they'll say like how do I start working out and then I give them a plane right I say like okay you need to wake up every day here's your personal trainer you got to go to the gym eat these kinds of calories and then what happens act when I give them a plan for being healthy they stop on January 2nd absolutely right because that's not a workout plan is like maybe a little bit over here but it's very small it's tiny well it's it's an emotional you have to overcome and emotionally I agree with that I know that like so one way that I overcame this with like keeping my house clean is that I live with my mom and I remember I was showing it was like something that I had done for her recently and someone said that you know well you should be doing this all the time because you're letting your mom live in a [ __ ] which is like for me this is the norm but I thought to myself it's like I am doing that and I should be doing that and that emotional webberley revelation it wasn't like logical the emotional revelation of knowing that I was allowing this to happen to her has caused me to be much more proactive and keeping the house clean and making things like you know I there were like holes in the wall where rats were coming through and I cover all those up and I kept it clean because I realized that what I was doing and the laziness that I was exhibiting were it was something that was hurting somebody else okay it was selfish so now we're gonna understand three things me is over here yeah other people he's over here what do you think about that yeah I'd say that's right so the first thing is you said that you had to overcome emotion so now when you're kind of saying like you know at the beginning of this conversation you were like talking about death I don't think is gonna be productive and I completely agree with you because overcoming emotions is not thinking about emotions you use the word and it is AK I think you understand this stuff really well because of your language use the word emotional revelation a revelation is not a logical conclusion do you see that it's like like revelation doesn't imply a logical thought process it implies a white hole in them it literally of Revelation is revealed and revealed is something that you are the recipient of not something that you take action you are fundamentally not control when it comes to emotional revelation it is the loot box all over again it is the chest it is the moment of enlightenment I think I've had that happen a few sorry guys good okay yeah sorry okay working on it yeah that happened a few times with like different situations and the point where you know things that used to bother me just for whatever reason stopped bothering me yeah like that's weird right like how do we even deal with that like what's up with that oh I think it depends on the thing I used to be very self-conscious about the way that I looked and then I think that as time went on I just accepted it and it was who I got you know I am Who I am okay so that's so so now like like okay so now like you're really starting to sound like a meditation catalog is that bad or good no I mean it's great like this is why this is what would that was saying but it's not philosophy and it's not stuff that you retweet retweeting it doesn't matter but acceptance goes over here right well it it's fundamental acceptance right like I'm very very skinny and I used to like not want to take my shirt off in the pool or whatever and I think that this might sound bad boy people making fun of me about it all the time on on Twitch and like just constantly like giving it to me and just [ __ ] with me about it like I just eventually got it sounds like whatever you know like I'm not gonna apologize to these people so Who I am yeah so so that that is do you see how you used to have shame and then you move towards acceptance somehow but it wasn't logical it wasn't like you woke up one day and you said hey this is gonna I'm gonna they're gonna keep on making fun of me until I get used to it and then my thick my skin will get thick and then I will accept that I'm skinny that's not how it works it's a revelation it's something that happens to you it's not something that you do okay right and now we get to the root of lazy because what we're talking about here is that you cannot actually do anything it's about stuff that happens to you it's not about logically working through your fear and your shame it's not about it's about Revelation right it's about mindset these are things that happen to you they're not things that you do and now we get to this idea of like the reason that you believe you're lazy is because you believe you're in control but you're not in control you can't actually get your teeth fixed what you can do is potentially see a therapist and roll the dice to see if you can cleanse the fear deep off in the shame debuff you can roll the dice or you can train yourself to be present focused instead of future focused and each of these things that you do like look at this equation what do you think is gonna happen with lazy oh I think it'll go down if I lose those two things absolutely and then you'll start acting so it's not that you're lazy it's that your behavioral equation calculates you to inaction and the problem is that you don't understand any of this stuff because like here's the biggest problem is that like this is all a black box right this is what we see yeah and so then we just call it lazy and so it's no surprise that our entire like you note which is like super lazy why are they super lazy it's because they have a ton of fear and shame they don't understand they think in the future like just think about this for a second they're always thinking about the future one day right they're thinking about the future and this is the other thing so past it's back here to they think about the future and they think about the past they have a case of the shirt of what it could is and the if onlys if only this or only this I should do this I'm supposed to do this I need to do this all of those should is not in the present it's in the future if only is in the past it's not in the present the other problem that they have and I know you want to jump in but I'm feeling that right now so I'm gonna keep talking do it keep Duffy the other thing is that they're always focused on me and that doesn't mean that they're selfish it means that if I were to literally catalog the number of thoughts in their mind the number of thoughts about themselves far outweighs the number of thoughts about other people doesn't mean that they're good thoughts they're just egocentric it's I'm a piece of [ __ ] I'm lazy I should do this I should do that that person is so awesome and even when you say that person is so awesome if it's an appreciation of that person it's not about you even when they think about another person it's in reference to themselves it's actually a thought about themselves it's a thought about themselves even whenever they're thinking about somebody else because it's a comparison there are two ways to think about other people one way is it is a comparison like oh that person is so awesome the other one is appreciation an appreciation makes them feel good in comparison makes them feel bad so even when they think they're thinking about other people they're always making comparisons to themselves and so literally the percentage of time that they spend over here is 90% and they only spent 10% of time thinking about other people and that's what I was saying about the selfishness exactly and now we think about da da mo which is due to your responsibility because you aren't worth it right especially like if you have fear and shame your value as a human being is pretty low therefore you're not even worth investing in the thing that gets you to to clean up your place is a sense of duty for your mom and you're like I can visit my it's ok if I live in a [ __ ] because I'm me but it's not ok for my mom to live in a [ __ ] yeah and that thought is not like a logical thought it's also like a revelation well I thought about this I actually you know I have no regrets I don't even regret letting my teeth rot out because the reason why I started streaming and what motivated me to try so hard with streaming is that I knew that if I didn't do that and I wasn't successful I wouldn't have any teeth I don't regret a single thing yeah so and I I don't really regret any of these things happening and III don't I do think that it should be more about like other people too though and and I feel like that's kind of what's ended up happening is that I've tried to focus more on being like being not really a servant to other people but being a [ __ ] what's the word for this to fulfill the purpose that way yeah you haven't since are much your street screamer's yeah what you're describing is done right like you stream because like you are the thing you streamed for them because you're trying to send them a signal that you can be a [ __ ] in life and still have a life worth living that's the tournament that's why you stream that's a reason to be proud of it and happy yeah absolutely so like you need to show them that yeah and and that's what I was so upset about whenever I had taken two breaks and in my stream I had felt like I had lost them yes I no longer had that that thing that just motivated me you know whether you have a good day or a bad day you are gone the next day because there is a purpose and the goal that's greater than yourself it's not just about you it's about what you represent who you are and the idea so if we look at the equation of that there's something very important there which is that generally speaking we operate when it comes to ourselves we move away from pain and we move towards pleasure we try to avoid pain and we try to seek pleasure but the cool thing about Dharma is is like Dharma is what allows you to say whether I have a good day or I have a bad day I have to keep streaming it's not about whether it hurts or not I need to do it for that yes right and so like that's the beautiful thing is like Dharma is in in my sense a pretty good answer to embracing the negative or embracing the things that are hardened and the biggest problem that people have nowadays is that like they tend to retreat from things that are hard or painful yeah and and so in your case like your fear of the dentist like the reason that you're not going to the dentist we can look at anything in that equation right so one is you can talk about your fear of the dentist and if you talk about your fear of the dentist and you process it it'll start to wither away and then you'll be able to go if you think about okay for Who am I getting my teeth replaced because if I'm getting them replaced for me it's not worth like like what I would encourage you to really think about zach is like right now there are what sounds like tens of thousands if not like over a hundred thousand people that watch you and there is something in their life which is their equivalent of not getting their teeth replaced and what you owe them is for you to get your teeth replaced and then share with them something about your perspective of like even if it's like like you desert like I don't know exactly what that is but I think this is what you must contemplate this isn't logic this is consolation scroll journey huh Joseph Campbell's heroic journey what does that mean the hero that leaves the village and brings the Boone back from the adventure and then he brings it back to the village and empowers the entire village yeah and make them all stronger together so you need to get your [ __ ] teeth fixed yeah because you were giving them an excuse to not fix their marks mm-hmm that's not something you can continue doing anymore that makes a lot of sense yeah that does make Watterson's yeah yes I do I I think that's really what it comes down to is making sure that I can be that that representative and I can be that person it's a mantle that they have given you with their viewership in their time and it's not something that you can afford to disappoint them in and it's not just that it's you know like little bits and pieces of [ __ ] in my stream that I don't have happen in the right way and events that I have just like fallen through and I haven't planned out properly many things like that sure but yeah each of those things be careful because you call it [ __ ] I don't think it's [ __ ] there's another equation there with things that keep you from acting when you say I have trouble fully committing I make plans yeah that's because it's not because you're lazier that you're a [ __ ] it's because there's some complicated process going on there and the general variables are gonna be you versus someone else future and past versus present and negative emotion there are also all kinds of other things but those are the three things that I think like or like I would really encourage you to think about and as you unburden yourself those are the D pops it's like you're you know you're razz debuff like having shame about your life is like having a resurrection debuff and you're just not going to be functioning only yeah right and then there are some things that you can do like eat healthy which is like just like wow like there's like food and potions and stuff that you need to use to prepare for a raid and if you meditate every day occasionally you'll get moments of enlightenment which will give you like an understanding which will just wipe away something that holds you back occasionally yeah but from a neuroscience perspective we can't count on that happening because we haven't figured out how to make that happen yet well we do understand is that even from a neuroscience perspective it's like getting a Stoneskin potent like it's gonna protect you a little bit eating healthy or good circadian rhythm exercise meditation hanging out with other human beings sunlight an absence of substances all of these things are going to be buffs can you explain why whenever I was not stree I would wake up at 10 p.m. and I would play video games all night long into the morning eating fast food and I was completely euphoric yeah so I what do you mean by euphoric I was incredibly happy there's nothing wrong I knew exactly what was gonna happen the day was gonna be great and the only thing that really pulled me out of that was the like external variables like you know knowing that I like it can't last forever I guess in a way so was euphoria existential or emotional both I think I was doing what I wanted to do so that sounds hedonistic is opposed to existential to me so that sounds like a pleasurable life but yeah overtime would have led to an empty one and that's what I always you know like I had and I completely agree with you because you know like I've told people a lot of times I never really want to grow up etc and people told to me they're like yeah well you don't have to you know you can just do what you always have done and it's like that's true but yeah I know exactly what you're saying is it will lead to emptiness in a long run so here's what I think I think for most people they think about it how long was that time period oh wait three months and before that I mean like there were time periods like that for years but we were happy every day for years every day no not every day but most of no I'm not talking about emotionally I mean like heggs essentially it in what way like can you were you fulfilled during the years that you were doing that fulfilled um yes and no in some ways yes in some ways oh I feel like I wasn't making enough like videos or content I wasn't creating enough yeah so that's yeah so that's where fulfillment comes from so like I want you to understand this there's a different axis and this is what I call spiritual so there's a spiritual happiness with which the Buddha calls Duke which means suffering so he uses the word suffering because suffering is not an emotion right so there's like contentment and suffering which is on one axis and those are above the axis of individual emotions like you can be sad and content and you can be suffering and joyous yeah right there's a laying poor and not be right so so those are different axes so here's what I think about your three months temped I think that most people think about vacations is something that you do for a couple of weeks I think some people take vacations for months and what I'm hearing from your three months in is you are basically on vacation and vacations been four years yeah so you may you may be someone who has a four year vacation right like that's okay like I think it's fine to be hedonistic for a time and enjoy yourself and also to be favored in the will huh not according to my death yeah so I don't think that you were quite as fulfilled as you think you are but I think that it's fine to be hedonist they can fulfilled at the same like I mean that's okay for periods of time like I love it like sometimes I will just let myself go man yeah you know sometimes it's it's an amazing feeling like I'll be like yeah I'm gonna get like I'm gonna eat [ __ ] Taco Bell and I'm gonna play games until like 1:00 in the morning and it's awesome because my you know I'd love to do that for weeks at a time but I tend to get a day every now and then but I think it's fine to be hedonistic hedonistic isn't bad like hedonistic and fulfillment is possible but I think it tends to be temporary because I think over time like there's gonna thats gonna decay and then you'll start to feel empty well it's like if you have a day off that's really exciting but if you're unemployed it's not exactly beautiful and yeah right so I think I and so I think I think if we really dig into your four-year period I would be very surprised because I think you also were good at distraction right so you're probably like pretty good at suppressing things so there may have been discomfort or existential dread or look basically suffering yeah that you were distracting yourself from and and you know you kind of it's easy to get confused with like you know eating fast food and playing video games and the dopamine like dopamine is like separate from fulfillment mm-hmm so that's my take on it yeah I think that's probably true I I feel good about it sometimes I think that there's also like a degree where it's like you do that for years and I felt really good doing it like 19 and 20 and then it was kind of weird whenever I was like 23 there's something and still doing it and like I had had like jobs like off and on but for the most part I pretty much did nothing and I went to college and I have a college degree but I mean I didn't really ever give a [ __ ] about that I mainly did that just to get my dad not to get mad at me and I guess yeah I feel ya it would be something that I kind of just would do in order to like forget about things and then every once in a while would take a peek in like the real world we're like I was in like my time capsule of existence yeah it's like yeah my friends are now like they have a house or that you know back then they had like you know now you're graduating college and for me I'm not really or at that time and you know I'm just kind of clowning around and I'd feel like other people were moving forward with their lives and doing things that you know we're meaningful and meanwhile I was just stuck there playing video games and even though I had chosen that there's a there's like a certain I don't know like sadness yeah so I think that it's right at the edges right it's there but right at the edges so I would I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't at the edges when you do two or three month vacation I think it like you can still feel fulfilled but I know I was the same way like I wouldn't trade it for anything like I remember my third or fourth year of college I was there for five years cuz I failed a bunch of classes but my third or fourth year I remember my friends had a had a house and I I stayed at the frat I mean I lived in a frat house but like they were used to game together and I would basically like go there everyday like I would get up in the morning like I was gonna go to class but I only had classes like three days a week but I would get up at the same time and I was somewhat functional then and I would go to their house at 8:00 in the morning I brought my PC over there I still remember I had never had coffee from a coffee pot like a like a drip coffee machine yeah for whatever reason like I you know I just you know I didn't grow up drinking it or anything and so then like I still remember how delicious their coffee was I would like go to their house at eight in the morning I would make myself a cup of coffee and it was awesome and then I would start playing video games at like 8 a.m. instead of going class on Tuesdays and Thursdays I would go there and I'd play video games and then a Mazda Monday Wednesday Friday I would like wake up and I would go to class and as soon as I was done I would like finish it like noon or something I'd pick up some kind of food and then I'd go to their house and I'd play video games and I just like lived this amazingly hedonistic lifestyle that was just so much fun we would hang out and ha why'd you stop um and it sounds great yeah I mean I I think I stopped because I couldn't keep doing it because you just knew like eternally yeah so like 50 year old around I think I was in fourth year and fifth year old around and then I realized that I basically had when I started my fifth year of college I had two years left I started I I finished my sorry I started my fifth year as a junior and then I was like I just cannot stand like I've been ignoring this for a long time but I can't be a sixth year senior I just can't like fifth five years of colleges of croquet yeah but six years is just [ __ ] pathetic it is I remember I had a friend of mine and he logged on one day in the world of warcraft and he said to us he was like guys I'm quitting and I've been in college for five years I need to get my life together this is ridiculous and I can't keep doing this goodbye and he would before this brag about how he would keep he would retake English one or the psychology when I forgot which one the freshman class so he could hook up with freshmen girls every single semester and like apparently his friend watches my stream and the guys getting married now yeah so in my case it was a girl involved too so I was dating a girl who I was really really into and and and also like she didn't know that like she thought I was gonna be graduating at the end of year five and so like I just couldn't face the shame of like telling her that I'm still not done so I just I mean when it came to that my fifth year I just completely busted my ass and and basically did one year of college each semester so I took like twice a normal course load and just so gained actually yeah but you know just I was like that's enough like I can't I mean even in the depths of my shame it's just like I can't I can't do that to myself enough is enough yeah yeah I've had kind of the same thing happen before whenever I was in high school I think I graduated with the 2.5 GPA and I would actually I would not do certain assignments like I like I would get my like the progress report and it would tell me like how much each different assignment would be and like what the grading would be for it and I would math out how to get like an 81 or something like that and I would just plan out which assignments would take the most time and I could put the least amount of effort into and I would like to figure out an equilibrium for that and just not do I've ever didn't as little work as possible there's your laziness yeah it's not laziness its efficiency that was very efficient right didn't do a [ __ ] thing yep yeah and so I don't know like I I think that's the problem is like I do get rewarded for the laziness Sherman pretty regularly why is that well I mean Bill Gates did say if he wanted a problem done he'd hire a lazy person to do it because they'd come up with an easy solution so here's here's what I think Zac I don't think laziness is a problem I think laziness of the kind that we described in terms of unpacking it and if there are emotional things that are holding back those are problems but I think gamers are [ __ ] brilliant so when I work with videogame addicts what I do is hook them up with internships at MIT I take this guy who has been out like hasn't graduated college and I dumped him in an AI startup at MIT and then I say go for it bro and then like the turnaround is amazing and it's like like we're not like laziness is not a thing and and like I don't think it's a problem that you're lazy and in the truest form of laziness because I think laziness is an umbrella term that covers a lot of these emotional things in future thinking and like fantasy and all this other kind of crap but there is part of it that is just the laziness of efficiency yeah and and I think even in terms of healthy game or like the people like basically everyone who works for us or people better form our community and what happens is like you take these guys who are like rejects and then you you like give them like something to do that challenges them and makes the world a better place and it's amazing what they've accomplished and so I don't know I don't accept you know I think laziness is fantastic like laziness we we are such a lean and mean startup because we're all lazy and we have no resources and it really is amazing like we would have lost so much money if we went the VC route because we would have done stupid things well I'm glad that somebody can see the light you know what's the time like I tell people that and I think that I'm crazy and yeah I I'm very good at being lazy I've gotten I've had 29 years of experience yeah so I yeah so there's a dark side I think to it which is what I'm really trying to temper absolutely so I agree that you don't want to you want to be efficient lazy but you don't want to be umbrella lazy right so like it's not an excuse for not getting your teeth taken care of you know and and it's not an excuse for some things but I think at the end of the day if you want to like eat fast food for a couple months and game for a couple months and like that works out you're not really letting anyone down then by all means do that take a break yeah I think that helps me a lot to just all I kind of mentally reset I I'm not really I'm probably more introverted than I am extroverted and I think my stream kind of fulfills that extroverted need sure and an app that I want to be the introverted you know troll that just lives in this cave and that's about it well yeah anyway so I'm gonna have to wrap up in a little bit like any other questions like I mean I'd love to shoot the [ __ ] with you it's fun but I just want to make sure that we kind of got to the things that you want to do I think that we pretty much covered everything I donate this is like it it's it's like the roots of a problem it's like a massive tree and there's all the branches one changes to the other branches you know my camera not working on stream etc yeah you know that kind of stuff and so I I think that's actually a great way to conceptualize it because I I don't want anyone to think so this is the big problem that people have is they watch stream and then you know they see like asmin gold was had all of his questions answered and they think that you're fixed they think that what we do on stream is we fix people we're not fix it like we haven't fixed you we're just all we've given you is a road map and you've taken one step and each of those branches needs to be dealt with like that's when you're fixed yeah I I think that's true I mean there's no it's more or less giving somebody a tool but they have to do the job absolutely so speaking of tools sometimes I teach people how to meditate on stream are you interested in that sure what's doing let me just think about if there's a death oriented meditation we can do I I really love I've gained some of my most understanding that I have from the techniques around death and you know earlier when I was saying like when we were talking about death and like where knowledge comes from I've had some really amazing experiences around white life and death when it comes to meditating I'm just trying to think about you know what can I teach you that will prepare you for learning a death oriented technique okay so I'm gonna teach you something do you meditate uh not not consciously no okay I mean what-what do you mean by not consciously then what what do you do sometimes I just sit there and I think about things and I kind of let my mind wander and you know you you just you think about so many it's kind of like cascading uh I guess like series of importances and your wife and you're like thinking about less and less and less important things until you're just not thinking about anything okay that sounds pretty good okay so I'm going to teach you something that we've taught oh let me think about this you so we're gonna do just a quick diagnostic test why are you laughing listen AFK of your brain go afk um so yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna do a quick diagnostic test and then based on that I'm gonna teach you one of two techniques okay all right so one eye so close your eyes and I want you to notice the breath in your nostrils and can you tell if one nostril is more open than the other miraculously they seem to be the same but if I had to guess I'd say the left one is more open yeah okay so pay attention to it for a second and check yeah yeah it's more of a left one that's one of them okay now what I want you to do is imagine your left nostril like a circle okay and and what I want you to do is see if the breath has a certain direction within your left nostril like it's all going to be pointing out but is it stronger at the tip versus kind of where your nostril hits you're like meets your face towards the middle of your nose or the outside of your nose does that leave me yeah the the towards the face and middle face and middle okay so like if we were to think about your nostril as a clock face with 12 o'clock being the tip does that make sense to you does that analogy make sense or mmm 7:00 p.m. okay perfect so this is a good mystery medication right so yeah just sit up straight okay so oh man okay so just notice that for a second could just keep noticing while I try to figure out what to teach you next so this is a good diagnosis okay so this does work right so my instincts were spot-on but now what do I do you okay so now what I want you to do just keep keep your eyes closed I'm gonna describe a couple of things I don't know if you're gonna be able to do it today okay I'm gonna give you sort of a lot to work on okay so the first thing that I want you to think about for a moment is that there's a difference between lazy Zac and moment of enlightenment Zac that the lazier you are the more Zac you are the more asmin gold you are and in moment of enlightenment you're not really that same person does that make sense yeah okay so now what I want you to do is pay attention to the person that you are when your breath is at a particular o'clock position okay and and what I want you to do is throughout the day notice which of your nostrils is open and then notice which o'clock position you're at and see if you can discover any differences in the person that you are depending or correlating with which which o'clock position and which nostril is open okay okay so it's not something we can do today because you're gonna have to collect a lot buddy yes it's very longitude and then I want you to the first axis that I'll give you but by all means explore other things like you can explore your emotional state and things like that but the main axis that I think I want you to really pay attention to is is the axis of like moment of enlightenment versus like apathy it's like detachment versus apathy it's like laziness versus being able to do or whatever you want to future versus present like any kind of axes that you want to just try to pick an axis and I think the most important one is is the one that's like moment of enlightenment versus like lazy Zach and then the last thing that I want you to do which will give you it can kind of anchor your practice is do you live can you see the Sun can you see the sunset or sunrise where you live hmm almost yeah okay so if you can try to figure out when sunrise and sunset are and like for 10 minutes before sunrise in ten minutes before sunset no let's say five minutes before I want you to try to go outside and do this practice and just notice what happens and then the last piece of the practice that I'll give you I'm giving you normally these things are done sequentially last piece of the practice that I'll give you is try to figure out so I'll just leave you with this is as you start to understand what is constant and what is changing about you I think you'll start to understand more about death but that okay okay all right could take a while so that things are to notice you know which nostril is open in which part of the clock your breath is going in you can do that several times a day I would even encourage you to like use a journal or something to take notes and try to feel who you are in those moments and then five minutes before sunrise in five minutes before sunset whenever you can manage it go outside and then just pay attention to who you are and what I'll kind of leave you with is that there will be some parts of you that would fluctuate in some parts of you that may stay the same and try to just try to understand that what about you fluctuates and what about you stays the same okay that makes sense so now let's check in for a second and notice the breath again are we still working with left area we see the left gang yes we were still left again are we still seven o'clock yeah okay so just see when that changes try to check in an hour okay okay right sounds good I can do that yeah all right that's an interesting way to look at it you know it's a level of awareness that I'm not used to having yeah I'll say that sure yeah good yeah I probably I'm gonna use that almost to try to sleep anyway I think that's a good idea focused on very small things that you know are kind of relevant I feel like helps me you know sleep sure yeah okay well is that is that how is that the meditation that I should do yep okay yeah I will try and do that all right yeah cool man any um go ahead sorry no you can I'm just gonna say like any last thoughts or questions or any I'm curious too I mean what did you think about our time together I thought it was really helpful I think the breaking down like all the different components to how you know laziness manifests itself and what the different tricks your mind plays on you and you know the you know the kind of like laziness and efficiency being two sides of the same coin absolutely and that that metaphor I think was really helpful and I do really think that you do good work here on Twitch and that's why I was I was very eager to come on and and and help be a part of it I think this is something that's really important and I think everybody here is very thankful for that including myself thank you yeah well I appreciate I really appreciate you coming on and it's a minute you're just a really like thoughtful guy and and it's it's it's a pleasure to speak with you and kind of you know work with you I I think I've given you maybe you know if you need some help around the meditation technique let me know because I kind of dumped a lot on your plate usually I teach something a little bit more discreet and just tell them you know focus on this thing but I think you'll be able I think you'll like this technique a lot yeah thank you very much and yeah good luck to you and and I really do hope or uoq are you okay with can I put a burden or expectation on you and can we recognize that that could add to the plus or it could add to the mine side of the column sure go ahead and and that's that I think you need to get your teeth fixed yes I this I have a temporary tooth and honestly like I need to get that fixed and I've been kind of hoping that after the quarantine is over I would do that and so I think that now it's it's getting pretty close to that time and III need to fix some of them because I'm worried that they'll fall into the category of needing to be pulled or whatever very soon yeah so this is uh this is something that weighs definitely on my mind and and one last thought that I have is that if you're you know time passes and over there's an acceptable amount of time that can pass and if if there's an unacceptable time that passes before you get it fixed then maybe we should have another conversation yeah I can see that okay so like today we've talked about the route maybe one day we'll talk about one of the branches yeah all right that makes sense okay yeah thank you very much thank you Anna yeah I look forward to that if it happens but I hopefully in Korea yeah hopefully I'll be able to fix it thank you very much I really take care of I talk to other piece alrighty okay so that was fun yeah I understand like you know so people used to call it hasn't been gold the raid boss my god I don't I don't see it what do y'all think he's a good guy man all these guys are good guys everyone's saying Mitt Jones and it shows this great dude like I saw it Ellis is fantastic too I'm like I know that these people have had trouble but like I mean we all have struggles but like there's such solid people dude I don't know I don't know what you know I I don't know I just don't see it okay so listen guys thank you guys very much for coming on thank you guys hopefully that was helpful um it's interesting we've been doing a lot of you know I feel like I've been doing a lot of like teaching mode recently in terms of pulling out the iPad and drawing out diagrams and stuff I apologize for my handwriting but hopefully it's helpful and I think sometimes it's useful to you know see things on paper and yeah and I want I would you know really ask you guys to think a little bit about what we unpacked with laziness and like don't just judge yourself for being lazy like cuz that's gonna contribute to the shame which in turn is gonna increase your perception of laziness it's gonna move you towards inaction right that's what laziness that when we say oh I'm lazy what that means is that you don't act and inaction is not like it's not a personality trait it's like a behavioral equation and understand what the components of your behavioral equation are and work on them because something magical will happen like that's how people like you know it's weird to say like someone turned their life around like how the [ __ ] does that work what's how does that work like there's some system behind turning your life around it's not randomness right there's science and laws of at least neuroscience and physics and and whatever like maybe psychology maybe sociology but there's an order like we're human beings and there's like a way that we work we have a controller and if we learn how to use the buttons then we can do what we want without a character and I think what laziness is is an inability to understand what your buttons do like you don't know how you work and so like no wonder you can't do the things that you want to be able to do but like I need to do it yeah but what are the reasons that you're not doing it right because there are good reasons and the problem is that people ask the question Oh what are the reasons that I'm not doing it and then they say I don't have any good reasons but that's incorrect if you're not doing it that's a data point that signifies that you have a good reason to not do it you just have to find what that reason is and then you can dismantle it it's the invalidation of your reasons to not do something that prevents you from actually doing it because you say oh I'm done like I'm just lazy like I don't have a good reason like if someone asks you like why don't you get your teeth fixed like Zach's answer is gonna be because I'm lazy that's not a good answer there's like a really good reason why he doesn't get his teeth fixed and you have to really respect what holds you back and just really think about that like you have to respect that which holds you in place because otherwise you're never gonna be able to overcome it it's such a powerful opponent right and you guys start by like disrespecting your opponent and then you doom yourself to failure respect what holds you back respect that if you're going nowhere in life there's a damn good reason for it and then once you like treat it with the respect that it deserves then you're gonna be way better at dealing with it respect your problems and respect yourselves and thank you guys very much we're gonna take next week off from streaming and then we're gonna do a bunch of DLCs on on Monday the 22nd we have Yvonne from offline TV on Wednesday

Channel: HealthyGamerGG

Views: 1,152,811

Rating: 4.9474626 out of 5

Keywords: mental health, drk, dr kanojia, healthygamergg, healthy gamer gg, twitch, psychiatrist, asmongold, asmongold twitch, asmongold wow, asmongold streamer, procrastination, laziness

Id: WQ5bkdFuFhg

Length: 126min 55sec (7615 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 13 2020