Soldiers Reveal Funniest Drill Sergeant Moments

soldiers have read it what was something that was so funny even the drill sergeant couldn't help but giggle dude was told he couldn't trim his even a brow if he did he'd have to shave both eyebrows as well so that's what dude did shaved it all des lost hid laughing and then made the private report every morning to have him sharpie done with a new expression every day added the best ones were when he was given two squares as a browser or a constant surprised look and thanks for my first gold I shall name him Philip someone in basic through their half-eaten schnitzel into the toilet and tried to flush it it didn't flush he left so we are all in our rooms as we hear one of our drills screamed to get out and line up we line up and he was one of the super serious guys 190 meters tall easily 100 kilograms of pure muscle and always mean-mugging everyone he starts screaming at us telling us that we are pigs no one knew what went on then he started yelling someone threw a duck in schnitzel into the toilet as he finished he started smiling first time in months I saw the dude smile everyone started laughing hard he got angry again and started repeating himself he starts laughing once he hits the schnitzel part again we all laugh again he just tells us we are dumbasses and someone better fish that piece of Schlitz allowed us and from a friend a tear ray assault they were fast roping down off towers and there was one guy that was deathly afraid of heights but was still making his way to pass and he was just standing there and the instructor yells something along the lines of stop being a [ __ ] and go he proceeds to jump into the Rope lose his grip and fall the entire way down while screaming erre assault until he hit the ground he broke his arm and had to go with the next class you have about 30 seconds to undock yourself starting 28 seconds ago I don't know if that was an old saying amongst all of them or he made it up on the spot but goddamn did I almost ducking losers fort benning drills were searching for contraband after a private was found with chewing tobacco one of the DS got a broom handle and started pushing the ceiling tiles up to see if anything would slide out a happy sock fell out and hit him in the face the other des walked off into the office he was cough laughing the whole time we were smoked into oblivion Navy boot camp in Orlando Florida in August of 1989 the company was split up into on either side of the center line facing the front of the bay our company commander had us doing four count jumping jacks where we all had to clap on the second and fourth together it had to sound like one clap there were 68 of us and even though we struggled all of us eventually got it well all of us but one this poor guy just could not clap with the rest of us he was eventually pulled up to the front of the bay where he would lead the exercise at the last second every time he would change his pace and ruin it the company commander smiled throughout and eventually just keeled over laughing at this guy it's funny though that I don't remember being angry even though we must have been doing jumping jacks for about three hours in 100-degree Heat I do remember that the only reason we quit was because the cement floor was too slippery with sweat to safely continue oMG I have a best story for this basic training some dude was getting a reprimand from the course officer because he was a bag of fail he got briefed by the platoon sergeant beforehand to march to the door salute the officer and wait to be instructed what to do but this guy was a stun as a brick so he marches to the door and stands there looking stupid the sergeant waits a good long while hoping this kid will clear and nothing happens finally he yells at him well errant you going to pay compliments to the officer and numpty stammers for a bit and finally chirps out up you're looking really nice today sir sergeant yells at him to GTFO and slams the door and the entire course staff nearly died from laughter it took an hour for us to stop laughing long enough to call him back and actually give him the reprimand I was on the floor with tears in my eyes for years afterwards any time we would see that officer we would stop him to tell him he was looking nice it never stopped being funny not a soldier but an amen' hopefully you still like the story we are out on the pad standing in formation waiting for breakfast just like any other BMT morning we are at the end of our training sir the MT eyes tend to not Harris you as much in your last week or so at basic our MTI has a doctor's appointment or something so he has a female MTI in the squadron we have seen from time to time watch us while he is gone so she takes us alfombra dress to attention and addresses the dorm chief lead trainee position and the flight he lets out the fatal response of yes sir to whatever the duck she said to him she's a petite athletic looking redhead and would not be mistaken for a sir she gets right in his face as it leaves his mouth and starting yelling oh you make a me so mad I just want to whip out my big dig and slap you across the face with it I fire on her Don there were three other flights with like 20-40 trainees each including their MT eyes immediately dying laughing even she only held it together for a few seconds of being angry red in the face of the four laughing I think you would get in some serious trouble these days yelling great lines like that our sergeant liked to take his smokey bear hat and tap recruits on the bridge of their nose while yelling at them that he wasn't touching them I happened to fall in behind him walking down the bay he thought it would be a good idea to spin around and poke the brim of his hat into somebody's face hit me square in the chest I'm six feet six inches tall I can't even remember what he yelled exactly but he was trying very hard not to then spun back around and went into his office with the assistant TI they started laughing so loud that we all heard it bay inspection day the company first Sgt and commander are going through each platoons bay and checking everyone's sheet and casually grilling the recruits on the basis command tree our company first Sgt goes to our platoon leader and asks in what position does command sergeant major insert name hold in this place it's a trick question the answer simply be in command sergeant major anyways the platoon leader hesitates for for belting out something extremely [ __ ] I don't remember verbatim but it was something similar to command sergeant major insert name as the star command a leader chief for fort benning first sergeant everyone freezes even the drill sergeants don't even breathe the company first Sgt stares at this guy for like 20 seconds before muttering loudly you duckin [ __ ] and shakes his head and leaves the bay doesn't even punish him even the D s is laughing and calling him a duck in dumb bus was pretty excellent and everyone broke out laughing when they left one time my ankles were legit hurting really bad cankles and new boots yeh so I asked the D s if I could go to the infirmary he said yes I said thanks dude he laughed and said you know I got a smoke you for that and he did but it was nice to see the human site for the first time a master corporal was calling drill for us once and his voice cracked on the command so he went from yelling in his normal kind of deep voice he was a big dude too loud shrill dude impersonating a woman kind of voice everyone took a second but the other instructors for our platoon cracked and everyone just kind of laughed that's what happens when men wear tights too often years ago while doing basic during the course you obviously have lots of drill training marching standing at attention at ease turning etcetera we're all in the drill hole practicing away when somehow one of the recruits lets out a high-pitched squeal and falls over dude managed to squish his nuts together somehow while coming to attention all three instructors sprinted over and started jacking him up and we're laughing so hard at the same time that they are almost crying not exactly a drill sergeant but during basic training we were marching in formation when we suddenly hear a thump turns out one of our comrades dropped his helmet of course our instructor saw this and responds with ein deutscher helm faulkner in more a German helmet his only dropped once pretty common military textbook phrase he commands the soldier to pick up his helmet and we carry on marching about thirty seconds later we hear the same sound again so I turn around and ask myself how you can possibly fail the simple task of helmet retention you basically just clip it to your carry rake while already waiting to hear the instructor saying the same phrase again what do I see our instructor turning around doing his personal walk of shame and picking up his helmet let's just say we weren't short on beer when we celebrated the end of basic when we were doing combatives I made a pulp fiction reference because the guy wrestling kind looked like samuel l.jackson and i caught one of the drill sergeants chuckling all I said was does Marsellus Wallace look like a rich law in Air Force BMT you have to carry this stupid flashlight with you when marching that had this yellow cone on it one guy in my flight got tired of holding it so he decided to have his belt hold it like a Jedi would have done with his lightsaber well the instructor sees this and tells him that he has to quit pull out your lightsaber and fight death Vader right behind you another trainee watching these two idiots have a lightsaber fight was the funniest thing I've seen which must have been for my instructor since he walks away belly laughing at the tour harded Star Wars nerds after a long and horrible 20-mile run in hundred degree temperatures the DS limbs way and towards one private who looks ready to die I bet you wish I'd die just say you could piss on my grave right no drill sergeant and why is that because once I get out of the army I'm never standing in another line again drill sergeant Navy boot camp 2008 we had a big Samoan guy in our division who loved singing Disney songs this dude started singing a whole new world in a shower with 80 other dudes and all of us started singing along I can remember our rdc just shaking his head and grinning two conscripts friends of mine were in front of sergeant majors office to report sick our drill sergeant walks past them to ask what's wrong female says that jaw is hurting enough to see a doc and the guy pointed down on his private part drill sergeant cracked up laughing no the two things wasn't related every time an instructor enters the room the first person who sees them yells room and everybody in the room immediately stands at attention until told to ease this day the instructor renter's to room while the first guy was mid-sentence he sees the instructor comma wat everybody jolts detentions for tomorrow's inspection we are going to he pauses turns to the first guy left double quotation mark did you yell what did not see said the instructor laughed it wasn't a drill sergeant but a small group leader or SGL the equivalent for the school that you go to when you become a sergeant a couple of Rangers put a blow up done above my buddy's bunk the SGL was sintered that there was contraband in the road the SGL came in swinging a golf club and poking ceiling tiles out drops a blow-up doll with shut up hitch written in duct tape over its mouth my friend laughs and says that ain't mine they flip the doll over and it says wills each on it says former German Army offers a hair when I was a platoon commander in basic training there was a recruit who was really small in height I'd say 150 centimeters 155 tops anyway one day the platoon was cleaning their rooms and one of them cows entered said recruits room sure enough one of them notices the superior yells attention and everyone stops doing what they're doing and go into attention but the little guy was just in the process of cleaning the windows and just so happened to fit right into the window frame in an upright position so as them Co scans the road he is presented with the sight of three huge bodybuilding soldiers and a tiny one standing in attention within a window frame the poor guy just lost it when he returned to me he was still crying tears this is a bit of a long one back in 1990 I was doing basic in the British Army and we were having a room inspection so in walks the platoon leftenant sergeants and corporals they start looking around then the officer goes to one of my roommates nicknamed fountas talked with a posh accent so font as I hear you want to be in officer Fontes yes sir corporal then says this fountas is your [ __ ] sewn up font is what corporal is your [ __ ] Sarah font as no corporal corporal well you can't be an office of n because officers are full of sheet my driver's license picture okay you know how nobody has a good picture I was afraid that I'd look high if I kept my neutral expression so I decided to look animated ended looking like and this is the description given by a fellow private a meth addict Jack Sparrow freshly escaped from a loony bin drill sergeant took one look at it damn near fell down laughing not me but a story from a friend so my friend let's call him chuckles joins the IDF as an American volunteer now what Americans call drill instructors or drill sergeants and Hebrew is me faked which is pronounced very similarly to my duck head so chuckles being a joker starts calling his me fake my duck head really fast and trying to get it past him one day the me faked hears it and yells at him do you think I don't speak English get on the ground and start doing push-ups and I'll tell you when you can start I know you're calling me duck head so chuckles says Noma faked I can't help it it's my accent the myth faked turns away and is doing his damnedest to hide it but his shoulders are shaking he's laughing so hard and he just walks away after laundry was done they threw it on the floor in a big pile your name is stenciled on every article of clothing so one guy would stand next to the pile pick up an article of clothing weed the name and then throw it at the owner as we walked around him in a circle so we took one of our mesh laundry bags and carefully cut it to look like a thong then stole a pink highlighter and colored it pink and wrote our drill instructors name on it and snuck it into the laundry that they comes to pass out laundry and he sees it loses his ducking sheet starts screaming WH o the duck owns this I'm going to duck your whole world up he picks it up sees his name and had to leave the room he was laughing so hard that we got the sheet beat out of us for about 1.5 hours basic @ft so Oklahoma we were all taking basic life support classes and we had a medic come through and show us some basics as the class progressed he stopped to take a moment to answer any questions one of the recruits who was different asked what to do if the helmet was too fused to someone's skull everyone was pretty dumbfounded at the question and his seriousness RDS had seen and heard some things in their time but that was next level PS if the helmet gets hot enough to melt onto someone's skull that person is probably dead and you probably don't have to worry about treatment drill sergeants will often play a trick on new recruits with MREs MREs come with crackers that are super dry and I am pretty sure they are made with sawdust while they say that if you can eat them all in two minutes without drinking anything you can have the day off so all of us dumb buses tried it ate crackers is no big deal right yeah most of us couldn't even handle half of that one kid had all they jammed in his mouth fruitlessly chewing on a cracker paste and then he sneezed [Music] you

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Id: aTHHvcdQ6to

Length: 18min 7sec (1087 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 08 2019