clearly not Jeffy if you're trying to solve that those things are impossible they're only for smart people well then I guess I am smart people but Jeffy you actually solved it well Danny I may be slow but I solved this hoe and since I solv this rubic I'm going to smack this pubic Jeffy can I mess it up so you can try solving it again sure mommy no Jeffy seriously how' you solve that dang it's easy all you got to do is match the colors together okay Jeffy here you go all right watch me work it doesn't even look like he's solving it looks like messing it up onion rings but you solved it again it only took you like 10 seconds 10 seconds that's not even my fastest time I can solve it in 4 seconds 4 seconds Jeffy that's amazing you could set a world record yeah I am pretty smart daddy there's cheese in my ear what type of cheese do you think it is I think it might be a sharp cheddar ew definitely a velv no Jeffy that's not cheese that's ear wax when's the last time you cleaned your ears Jeffy you're supposed to clean your ears I thought your ears were for we're hearing baby go get him a Q-tip okay all right Jeffy these are Q-tips Q-tips what do I do with these you put it in your ear in my ear yeah like that now you move it around it feels good oh yeah oh yeah deer Jeffy be careful you're going to hurt your eard drum yeah Jeffy you don't want to push it too far you might hurt your ear dang look I made a cheese stick Jeff you're not supposed to eat it dang that was so good it was blue cheese pack it up Jeffy that's not cheese that's ear wax you're not supposed to eat that but Danny I have an unlimited supply of cheese in my ear it's cheese for the whole world Jeffy it's not cheese for the whole world it's ear wax everyone has that in their ear daddy Baker doesn't as [ __ ] what no Jeffy Marvin I'm going to get him a glass of water if he's going to keep eating his ear waxed he needs to stop eating his ear waxed it can't be healthy well eventually it'll run out right we can hope all right Daddy I got a factory and overdrive everyone's about to have cheese for days go get the water okay okay all right Jeffy I brought you a water mommy check out my cheese sticks I even made a cheese pyramid ew Jeffy get all this ear wax off the couch hold on Daddy I got one more good one and I got to get really deep in there you're going to hurt your ear Marvin how has he not run out of ear wax yet I have no idea daddy what's this pin of Jeffy it looks like a piece of your brain my brain oh my God Marvin we have to call a doctor okay I'm going to call a doctor heia somebody call a doctor ooh cheese sticks no wait a minute that's not cheese oh God that's just ear wax on a Q-tip why didn't anybody tell me because I thought you were smart since you're a doctor not all doctors are smart okay I cheated to get where I am like there was this fat [ __ ] in front of me in college named Abby I just copied off her she's a much more successful doctor than I am yet fat so I'm winning anyway what do you guys need so Jeffy was playing with a Q-tip and he dug out a piece of his brain okay look that's impossible okay he'd have to break through his eardrum which would be extremely painful and then the Q-tip would touch his skull and then once it got through to his inner ear it would cause extreme pain dizziness and vomiting okay there's no way that would be an accident it would have to be on purpose well he was doing it on purpose he was trying to shove it as deep as he could in his ear okay let me go get my autoscope all right let me take a look in there oh yeah there's a big chunk of his brain missing wait so that is his brain yeah that's his brain on the Q-tip there is he going to die I don't know how you feel Jeffy is that normal yeah he normally acts like that oh well look he'll be just fine then look the brain is so big you don't need all of it that little piece on the Q-tip that's probably like one memory he'll be okay so you think it's just one memory oh yeah he'll be fine is that a Rubik's Cube yeah Jeffy can solve a Rubik's Cube in 4 seconds W that's got to be a world record you should enter him into the national annual Rubik's cube solatron competition what's that well it's where a bunch of these dorks who don't get any [ __ ] and have rolling backpacks get together to see who can solve a Rubik's Cube the fastest I mean no females are allowed within 500 miles of the competition but first place gets a $25 gift card to QB Tuesdays and a million dollar cash prize a million dollar just a song at Rubik's Cube yeah I mean they're mostly just doing doing it for the gift card cuz a million do is still not enough to get them laid they're just going to spend the money to buy more Rubik's Cubes but yeah I can't believe Jeffy you can make a million dollar just to solve this well I mean second place you still get $500,000 and third place gets 100,000 but fourth place gets you executed by firing squad they kill you yeah yeah I mean you can still come in fifth place you get 10,000 for that but fourth place no they will kill you they do not tolerate mediocrity so as long as Jeffy gets first second third or fifth he gets money yeah yeah just don't come in fourth that would be bad oh my God jeffy's going to totally win that competition cuz he can Sol R in 4 seconds so when is it uh it's in 2 hours but it's 500 M away Marvin we'd have to travel 250 M hour to get there in time our car doesn't go that fast okay I'll let you guys borrow my rocket ship thank you hello and welcome to the annual National Rubik's cube solatron competition we have the biggest nerds in the world here protecting the their virginities by trying to solve Rubik's Cubes as fast as they can the competition will begin shortly H I'll get it hello trigger drink we're here for the Rubik's cube competition is that a girl yeah tell her to get the hell out of here what why because none of these boys in here have ever seen a girl before and if they do they might cream their Brides baby just go wait in the rocket ship a can we come in now what's the password oh Rubik's Cube dick come on in what all right Jeffy you ready to beat these kids yeah I'll beat the [ __ ] out of all these kids which kid you want me to hit first no not beat them up I meant beat them in solving a Rubik's Cube what's up fresh meat haven't seen you around here before so what's your best time best time yeah your best time is selling a Rubik's C idiot oh well I don't solve Rubik's Cubes but jeffy's best time is 4 seconds 4 seconds he might win first place this year really yeah you see a kid down there his name is Jackie too he wins first place almost every year he's a super Asian and then beside him that's davius Rex he has a 12in wiener I saw it in the shower one day after Cube practice you have showers here oh yeah this competition gets super intense and then beside him that's Cody he's gay it's true well jeffy's going to try to win first place well you don't have to worry about me I go for last place every year easiest 10 grand of my life oh but my buddy last year Fred he died by firing squad because he got fourth place and then the year before that my other buddy he got banned for life how'd he get banned because he he brought a girl someone say girl shut up davius keep your weight on your pants damn okay well um why are girls not allowed girls aren't allowed because the last time a girl was here everyone's pants got filled with cream cheese so why don't you keep Cube oh I just don't know how you hear that everyone this guy doesn't know how to cube what a [ __ ] loser H pathetic me come on Jeffy all right everyone we're ready to start the competition so here's how this is going to work everyone's going to come up and we're going to time how fast you can finish a Rubik's Cube the person with the fastest time wins a million dollar on a $25 gift card to QB Tuesdays the person who comes in fourth place gets murdered now first up is our new Comer Jeffy okay Jeffy I'll start the timer by hitting the space bar and when you're done with the Rubik's Cube I'll stop the timer by hitting the space bar again and I'll let you know what your time was the world record is 3.13 seconds on your mark get set go what am I supposed to do with this well you didn't get the record but keep going Jeffy hurry up and solve it I don't know what this is I've never seen one of these before in my life Jeffy don't screw with me you solved it earlier I did yes Jeffy solve it I don't even know what this is oh my god do you think that part of your brain you pulled out was the part that made you solve a Rubik's Cube it has to be because I've never seen one of these before in my life uh mister he doesn't know how to solve a Rubik's Cube what yeah he I thought he did but he doesn't know how to do it anymore well then why the hell would you come to a Rubik's cube competition I don't know well I guess I'll have to give you fifth place here's $10,000 just like that yeah sure okay come on Jeffy let's go and up next we have Cody not kiss on your mark get set go come on codye come on codye wow what a snow Fest done wow 6.9 seconds 69 and up next we have davius rex on your mark get set go [ __ ] [ __ ] oh that's going to cost him some time come on kid hurry up not my best time mother will not be pleased are you going to finish it just one second okay I think that's good enough to get a nice smooth fifth place well congratulations you came in fourth what time to die no no please I swear I'll do better please and last we have the defending Champion Jackie 2 on your mark get set go done everybody can suck my wi holy moly he broke the world record you get first place oh I'm so full maybe just one more hey how was the competition no before you ask I did not eat the ear wax off of these Q-tips that would be disgusting little do they know I did I am one six son of a [ __ ] I even ate the ear wax pyramid and I kept some in my pocket as a little snack for later I wonder how many carbs there are in ear wax so how was the competition oh it was good we came in fifth place so we got $10,000 oh nice I feel bad B for the guy who came and forth though yeah so you know that piece of brain that Jeffy pulled out well that part of his brain was the part of his brain that knew how to solve a Rubik's Cube oh that sucks well how'd you like my rocket ship it was cozy it was very fast well yeah it's a rocket ship and uh the fuel for that [ __ ] is pretty expensive as a matter of fact I think one gallon costs about $10,000 oh looky there 10 grand what a coincidence but no I don't have to pay for your gas hey I gave you my rocket ship I got to pay for the gas somehow don't be a douche oh my God how do you feel Jeffy that all that was for nothing Well Danny if you want to make money I got a cheese factory in my ear and a chocolate factory in my ass hey uh I've been trying to call my brother Jonathan anybody see him like like was he at the Rubik's cube competition cuz he's usually there well he said he always got fifth place and this year we got fifth place so oh man guys I'm so glad we decided to sit around and eat our favorite candy today wait dude what kind of candy is that you've never heard of goobers they're chocolate covered nuts they're amazing hey Junior I got some nuts for you but they're not chocolate covered more like flesh what's up my Snickers get it like my candy bar I like races hey hey hey everybody listen up nobody lay a finger on my butter finger got it okay good hey guys you want to play basketball yeah let's go play basketball yeah let's play Two on Two all right guys we're going to play two on two so it's going to be me and Junior versus Cody and Jeffy but that's not fair I suck at basketball he's right Joseph he does suck at basketball one of us should play with Cody because we're really good how about you what why do I have to play with the nerd you have a darker skin complexion Jos which means you're good at basketball you are right I am a god at basketball so the best player at basketball has to play with the worst player the whitest kid here which is Cody I guess it's me and Cody versus junior and Jeffy then all right so first person to get one basket wins but that's a short game if you don't want to play basket B just say so what did they go Jeffy BL Joseph I'm trying dude Cody open up catch I got it I got it oh no butter fingers grab it Jeffy grab it grab it grab it no w oh get ducked on this is my house [ __ ] w we won Cody dude what the hell was that you're supposed to catch the ball I'm sorry Joseph I just ate a butter fingers and now my fingers are all buttery no excuses I never lose at basketball you're not my friend anymore yeah Joseph my butter fingers Joseph don't be mad it's not my fault it's the Butterfingers no don't blame that Butterfinger you're just ass you're ass at basketball you should be nowhere near a court well I mean I am ass at basketball I guess you could say I'm aset ball guys calm down let's just watch TV Cody can you turn the T on yeah sure whoa who whoa whoa damn it dude what how' you drop the remote Cody it's the butter fingers I told you go watch your hands dude yeah wash your hands Cody okay fine let me grab the remote okay let me wash my hands damn it I can't seem to grab it come on hands grab the handle damn it they're still Slippery from the butter fingers okay you know what screw this okay guys I'm back did you wash your hands yes I did well we just ordered pizza yeah dude we're starving oh good cuz that Butterfinger was just a snack yeah the pizza will be here any second the pizza it's here yay Cody can you go grab it uh oh I I I don't know it's your house shouldn't you grab it well you washed your hands right yeah so you could grab the pizza right uh maybe Cody come on hello hey there I have a pepperoni pizza and some cheese sticks for a junior that's me all right that would be $10 please here you go oh sir if you could just please crumble that up and just start in the yard you want me to crumple up the money and throw it in the yard yeah cuz that way it'll be like a game when I have to go find it later okay yay if you can just grab your Pepsi now please Cody can you grab the pizza yeah yeah if you wouldn't mind grabbing that pizza I don't have the energy to bring the pizza inside for you right now if you didn't notice my search on button because the last lady's house I went to she didn't have money to pay for the pizza so she paid me in another way she gave me raspberries and beat me up it was so hot so if you can just grab this pieza i' appreciate it all I'll try grab the pizza Cody what you dropped the pizza Cody no refund my butter fingers Junior my butter fingers did you wash your hands I lied oh man wait what happened dude Cody dropped the pizza on the ground what you were supposed to wash your hands bro I couldn't turn the faucet on well thanks Cody for ruining our pizza cuz I'm not eating carpet Pizza [ __ ] I eat this carpet Pizza I eat pizza out the dumpster come on Cody Let's go ask shfp to cook us something else okay Chef peipi can you make us something to eat jul getting the fire extinguisher the kitchen's on fire Cody grab the fire extinguisher to The Pantry really me yes grab it Cody the grab it Cody down put some pepper yourself grab it fine where is the stupid fire extinguisher oh there it is oh God damn it holy [ __ ] there's a fire good thing I got cups of water what hold up hold on hold on okay here you go fire neutral light wait hold on there's a little tiny oh God okay there we go now the fire is neutralized thank you so much firefighter thank you you're welcome listen guys I cannot pick up that fire extinguisher too late Cody the fire department already came and put out the fire yeah no thanks to you Cody we all could have died and it would have been your fault well hey if you wanted the fire extinguisher that bad you could have gotten it yourself oh I can strangle you right now hey shpi can you make us something to eat we're hungry I'm not making anything else the ram is burnt look you better order something I give up come on Cody dude what was all that noise downstairs I heard screaming well there was a fire in the kitchen but Cody wouldn't grab the fire extinguisher what dude do you want us all to die I couldn't grab the fire extinguisher because of my Butterfingers bro I'm getting tired of this Butterfingers excuse me too Cody what are we going to eat now oh dude um I'm kind of fooled off this CET Pizza yeah and I still have my free medium french fries I get from McDonald's every week damn it my butter fingers that's it Cody come with me to the bathroom I'm going to wash your hands please do that and I'm going to eat this piece of crust and frustration come on Cody we're going to scrub your fingers till they're squeaky clean good Junior come downstairs I need your help right now hold on Dad don't tell me to hold on not in my house come downstairs right now come on Cody my dad needs me what do you want Dad I want you to meet your great grandma mother Janice see these are her ashes wait why are there two vases oh that's because Janice was a big [ __ ] see we needed two vases almost three but we just left a little bit behind who's going to know right that's cool so what do you want us to do Dad I need you to take your great-grandmother upstairs to my room so I can see her and remember her okay yeah so uh everybody's going to carry a V all right oh I I can't hold on I don't want to hear that you carrying something in my house so you don't carry the big one since you want to complain don't think I no no you better carry it you better carry it my grandmother Cody I hate you I'm sorry Cody let's get out of here no no no you ain't going nowhere you look look grab my grandma right here you taking this small face you want to mess up oh listen dog it's just going to happen again I don't want to hear that [ __ ] take my grandma upstairs boy okay wait okay that one's on you though Jesus Grandma you all on the flo Cody I think it would be best if you just go home can you please help me wash my hands first wait what happened now Cody dropped the at my great grandma Jesus just tell us you hate people already somebody please help me wash my hands I am begging you all right Cody we're going to go straight to the bathroom nothing's going to distract us let's go there's someone at the door no no we wash my hands first that's rude you're just going to leave somebody at the door just waiting yeah Cody that's rude you have no manners that's what's wrong with you come on I need to wash my hands hold on Cody I got to tie my shoe you answer the door okay hello hey there I'm Steve stalberger and you're on the hit TV show hold that baby oh no I can't hold a baby right now you do it sorry Sunny we chose you all you have to do is hold a baby for 5 seconds and you win 10,000 so let's see what baby you're holding today Tommy Pickles oh no not Tommy Pickles all you have to do is hold them for 5 seconds go on I can't are you refusing to hold this adorable baby on live television no no I like babies well you wouldn't want all of America to think you're a baby hater do you no well go on hold them did you just drop the baby you're a baby dropper everybody boo him Junior I can't believe I just dropped Tommy Pickles on National Television oh dude I saw that that was so crazy everybody hates you man not me I loved it you're such a [ __ ] Angelica get out of here go play with your dog or something CIA go she's so weird she plays with dolls I'm just going to grab Ken and get out of here who damn it I can't even hold on to Ken look Cody we're going to go wash your hands once and for all thank you Junior look just hold on my hands so nothing happens [Laughter] okay okay Cody this is the only bar soap we have in the whole house you all use the same bar of soap yeah it's the family bar of soap we don't want to waste any money so we just take that bar of soap and rub it between our butt cheeks what is this the Great Depression you can't afford more soap look Cody just pick up that bar soap and wash your hands with it okay H not bad okay now I'll never clean my butter fingers that's it Cody put your hands under the water Junior water's not going to get the butter off these fingers it's just going to make them more buttery well we don't have any soap unless you want to grab it from the toilet no so you're not going to wash your hands I can't oh okay you know what that's it get your stupid Ken doll and leave okay Cody pick up Ken and leave but I'm just going to drop him again wait he didn't wash his hands he dropped the bar soap in the toilet oh dude there's no hope for him just bite into him and pick him up but I don't want to put teeth marks in him usually I'm pretty good about not using my teeth but I guess it's the only way he's too heavy I can't do it pick him up with your hands okay I'll try okay I can do this damn it it's not going to work all right Cody I don't know tell you you dropped the bar soap I can't help you Junior I have an idea it's a little weird but it will work what I need you to suck the butter off my fingers oh I ain't with that freaky [ __ ] Bro oh no Cody what do I get out of it I'll give you 50 bucks show me the money okay there it is I mean he didn't say money was on the line now okay Cody I'll do it just hurry up okay o boner alert boner alert I have a boner shut up Cody give me the other hand okay o yeah yeah I'm into this I think I discovered a new Kink okay it's done okay let's see if it worked it worked I don't have butter fingers anymore uh quick question why could you lick your own fingers what why couldn't he lick his own fingers to get the butter off dude why did you have to do it Junior I didn't have butter fingers all day I just wanted you to suck my fingers I have a boner honey your food's almost ready smells great honey I can't wait to eat it oh I'll get it I'm coming jeez hello ow uh honey are you okay don't worry he's going to be just fine come here all right Simmons I spy with my little ey something red uh is it this little triangle no uh what about this little heat thing yep that's it all right your turn all right I spy with my little eye something blue um is it my shirt no is it your shirt no is it the light strip there no uh is it the cold setting no huh okay I give up it's your eyes oh yeah yeah I just can't stop looking at them I can't stop looking at yours oh really attention all unit we have a noise complaint at 1716 cuch way come on Simmons let's respond to this noise complaint all right tell me where your money and jewelry is or I'm going to kill both of you I don't really remember you hit me in the head with a baseball bat no right you tell me where it is it's under the mattress you better not be lying don't move honey call the cop I can't I'm a little tied up at the moment how did I get roped into this all right Simmons let's get this over with I like knocking like that open up police we got a noise complaint help us please oh my God Simmons they're calling for helping there let's go you go first no you go first no you go ahead buddy no I insist you go ahead no age before Beauty no but you're in charge him mate you go ahead no come on Pearls Before Swine go ahead no you outr me you go ahead look I'm not going in there first I'm not going in there fast okay tell you what let's flip a coin heads I go first tails you go first okay crap it was heads thank God you're here yeah sorry it took so long we were flipping a coin outside I didn't want to go first so who tied you up like this he did who called the [Music] cops Simons you shot my partner I got to get out of here Simmons oh God why oh Simmons please don't die I need you you're my partner oh look here comes the doctor doctor please tell me is he going to make it hey there there's no easy way to say this but he's not going to make it no please doctor please there has to be something you can do save my partner's life I'm sorry he was shot in the heart nobody can survive that he's gone [Music] no hey guy oh hate Chief how you feeling can't you read the mug shitty I I I know there's a happy poop on the mug but they didn't have a mug with a sad poop on it really I just wanted a mug with a poop on it I didn't really want a face but that's all they had so there's actually nothing in the mug I I'm just trying to be dramatic because I'm sad that my partner died Gary how do you think Simmons would feel if he saw you moping about him like this my partner can't feel anything he's dead Gary come on back to the office I have a surprise for you is is it a sad poop mug no it's even better come on okay okay guy I know you're sad about losing your partner so I'm assigning you a new one come on Chief I don't need a new partner Simmons was the only partner for me nobody could replace him but you haven't even met the little guy yet what little guy oh come on Chief don't tell me you hired a [ __ ] oh God I'm going to have to go so slow just for him to keep up with me with his stubby little legs people are going to think I brought my son to work it's just going to be hilarious meet officer cuddles words who's a good boy you are yes you are really Chief a dog that's who you get to replace Simmons that's just insulting but he's such a good boy he can smell drugs and bombs he'll protect you no thanks Chief I think I'm better off on my own well you don't have a choice this is your new partner and that's an order come on Chief what do you want what what do you what what this you stupid little toy donut what do you want me to do throw it okay go get it I didn't even throw it you idiot yeah you're going to make a real great Detective come on you stupid mut let's get in the car all right stinky this is my car so no poo poos or pee pees in my car got it I'll take that as a yes what what you want your stupid little toy well this is not playtime this is work time you can have this once we catch a bad guy okay oh that man's speeding you want to pull someone over boy huh you want to pull him over oh he's a good boy let's pull him over come on let's get him all right boy we're going to walk up to his car and if you see a weapon you chew his face off got it oh Mr cuddlesworth you're pissing in my car what did I say no pissing in the car bad bad Mr cuddlesworth bad I might as well you finish at this point Jesus now my whole car is going to smell like piss why don't you piss in his car he's the bad guy huh how about you piss in his car if you have any piss left you done okay let's go get them excuse me sir I see you got a case of the Zoomies why were you going so fast well I actually have a date tonight you yeah I swiped right on a couple baddies calm down Mr cuddlesworth I'm sorry I think he wants to [ __ ] in your car see he just pissed all over mine so that's the only thing I can reasonably assume what are you doing Mr cworth get away from his trunk you weirdo that's weird he's barking at your trunk why would he be doing that you get like dog treats in there or something well not exactly dog treats okay I don't really like the way you said that I'm going to check your trunk oh no you don't I was play to me help me Mr C help me why would you of you he titis or something Tak in your trunk all right let's see what's inside this trunk help me help me help me oh my God his trunk is filthy and also you're Little Billy Williams you've been missing for 3 weeks nobody could find you thank you so much for saving me m well don't thank me thank Mr cuddlesworth you hear that Mr cuddlesworth you're a hero what officer gar you and your partner are just Dynamite you rescued a boy that had been missing for 3 3 weeks oh sir don't jerk me off it was all officer cuddlesworth over there and he's pissing I I didn't think he had any left in him but you know what he earned that piss well I'm promoting both of you to Lieutenant well really sir I mean my pay is going to go up a whole 50 cents are you sure the department can afford it well we don't pay him cuz he's a dog so I think we'll be just fine now you two get out there and kick some criminal ass wow you know what Mr cuddlesworth I think I was wrong about you you really are a good boy yeah that's right let's go clean up these streets wo Daddy what's wrong Jeffy notice anything different about me huh you like to hit yourself no someone stole the pencil out of my nose no one stole the pencil out of your nose Jeffy you probably just lost it no someone stole the pencil out of my nose was it you H Baldi no I didn't steal it Jeffy was it you mommy huh no Jeffy well since no one will admit to who stole the pencil out of my nose I'm going to call the cops well don't call the cops Jeffy that's a waste of resource hey there someone call the cops yes officer I think my son did you got a dog oh yeah that's my new partner Lieutenant cuddlesworth why is he smelling my butt he's looking for crack huh oh you get it like your butt crack but also hard drugs what happened to your old partner oh God s his why he died a he died in my arms it was very tragic I still have nightmares about it thanks for reminding me so what do you want someone stole the pencil out of my nose Lieutenant cworth what are you doing now it's not play time this is work time no no you give me this toy you give me this God Dam it okay we'll play fetch one time okay go get it okay he's still not very bright okay what's up someone stole the pencil out of my nose oh okay Lieutenant cuddlesworth smell his nose and see if you can get the scent of that pencil oh he's he's pooping he's pooping at my house uh yeah hold on I'll I'll clean it up ew ew e e e e e ew it's so squishy I can't resist the urge to squeeze it what do I do with it but throw it away in the bathroom oh the bathroom's so far away I'm just going to Stu in your couch don't don't do that well it's too late I already did it so what's up are you guys going to find the pige or not oh yeah right that okay Lieutenant cuddlesworth smell his nose and get the scent of that pencil I think he's got it you you got the pencil boy you get it what uh-oh uh-oh Lieutenant colworth what is that that's not a pencil that's another toy you little rascal you give me that you give me this toy are you going to find my son's pencil or not uh look man I got a pencil out in my car you just want me to give him that yeah yeah go grab it and until you found it uh Jeffy I think he found your pencil he found my penil is this your pencil it is thank you for finding my penil mister yep that's what I do now don't call me again unless it's a real emergency we we we won't call you unless it's emergency officer you hear that Jeffy come on Lieutenant cuddlesworth let's get you a puppy ice cream who's that everybody free give me all your money you yay ain't you the cop that I HED the other night that was my part partner oh yeah we prepare to join us no don't [Music] shoot you shot my dog no liutenant cuddlesworth please don't die I'm going to kill you no Lieutenant cuddlesworth you can't die please I can't lose another partner again no oh he'll be all right mate no he won't Simmons he got shot he's dead just like you wait Simons how are you alive it was just a Nerf bullet mate it's not a real gun really well that means that Mr cuddlesworth is okay too no what what what you were just playing dead you learned a new trick oh you such a good boy I'm so glad I have my partners back hey you want to go piss in the car the come on S that's so cool I want to play with guys guys calm down yes these are my tech PJ where' you get techex at oh my mom got him for me his mom mom his mom got oh PJ we have to see you play with it please I don't know guys I'm kind of tired no please I want to please please okay okay I'll play with [Applause] it God I made to school just in time hey what's everyone looking at PJ I would totally kiss you for your tech tech I would Mar you for Tech Deck you guys don't even want to know what I do to him for a Tech Deck hey guys what's going on PJ crinch I brought Tech Decks to school what are Tech Decks you don't know what a tech deck is dude it's the coolest toy ever how do you not know what a tech deck is like this I don't know what a tech deck is well if you don't know what a tech deck is you have to get out of here now hold on hold on guys let's educate the poor fool Jeffy a tech deck is a little miniature skateboard that you ride with your fingers techex are the epitome of cool they are the ultimate symbol of cool techex are all about bringing them to school and making it your entire personality it says I may not know how to ride a skateboard but my fingers do and if my fingers can ride a skateboard then the ladies know what else they can do my bung hole well can I borrow when your Tech dead you can't borrow a PJ Tech unheard of asking to borrow somebody's Tech de it's like asking to bang their mom no hold on guys PJ never deprive someone of an opportunity to be cool Jeffy you can borrow my TCH de what you borrow a Tech Deck but only for a day Jeffy you have to bring me the tech deck back tomorrow at school okay that's so cool you got to borrow a PJ T that has never happened in the history of ever you're so all right now run along home hey Jeffy how was school it was sick daddy this kid named PJ let me borrow his Tech dick what yeah it's a little mini skateboard yeah you finger I'm really good at fingering daddy fingering is my favorite I wouldn't say that anymore look if you're going to play with your little mini skateboard play with it somewhere else okay Daddy but first can I show you a trick I learned it took me forever to learn this trick sure ready ow D you H me the face of your stupid skateboard you know what I think about this daddy why would you throw that if something happens to it I'm going to be the biggest loser in school I can't believe I have to vacuum the whole house God wait what what the hell is that CH pee no you sucked up my tech deck I told you not to put your pee PE near the vacuum cleaner Jeff no it was the mini little skateboard open the thing skateboard here Jeffy I think I found it thanks je peipi I can't let anything happen to it for the rest of the night hey Jeffy hey Junior I hate taking the bus to school me too but you still have PJ's Tech Deck sure do and it's in pristine condition okay good yeah I can't wait to give it back to him it's been stressing me out ever since he gave it to me yeah it's got to be stressed for holding on to something so valuable hey losers what do you want bully wait what's that it's a Tech Deck give me that hey get back you want it go get it oh no the bus is coming Jeffy Jeffy Jeffy go get the T go get the T oh man is the Teck okay Jeffy does it look like it's okay Junior oh my God it's broken PJ's going to kill you I know Junior I cannot go to school today oh okay we're not going to get on the bus we're going to take this thing inside and try to fix it let's go let's go let's go okay hey where you kids going you get your ass on the bus you're going to be ready for school what hey Junior and Jeffy didn't get on the bus oh man they're skipping school and didn't invite us hold on Joseph I'm going to see what's going on uh hey I'm getting off the bus why you getting off the bus you got to go to school uh I have to poop outside uh I'll meet you at school okay all right Jeffy all the pieces are right here we have to put back together how Junior how there's like a million pieces right here there's more pieces right here than there are ants in the world okay well that's not even close to being correct but but look Jeffy we have to put this back together cuz if PJ found out you broke his Tech Deck he's going to hate you and he's going to hate me cuzz I know you hey guys why'd you skip school oh Cody thank God you're here look the school bus ran over PJ's Tech dick what Junior do you know what this means if PJ finds out he's going to hate Jeffy and then he's going to hate us cuz we're associated with Jeffy so we got to think of a plan Cody help okay think think think o I did a little too did a little brain toot you mean a brain fart no Junior I don't say the word fart that's disgusting I say toot it's a nice cute little petite word a petite toot you know if you're at dinner and you pass gas you can just say sorry everyone I tooted and then everyone will be fine with that they'll just keep eating but if you say sorry everyone I just blew a big stinky dirty fart right out of my unwiped ass then nobody's going to want to keep eating that's just gross you know it toots like a nice little purr that comes out of your ass like like you got a kitten in your ass I just let out a big stinky [ __ ] Cloud right out of my rectal hole yeah see that's inappropriate look can we get get back to the tech deck we got to fix this oh yeah the thing that made me toot in the first place oh look how about we just go to the store and buy a tech deck that looks just like this oh wow Junior that's actually a really good idea and you didn't even have to toot to think of it yeah let's go to the store come on okay okay guys here's the tech de okay look for it it has a snake on it with red Wheels do you see one Jeffy no I don't see it Junior come on guys hey kids can I help you find something uh yes Mister we're looking for a tech deck that has a snake on it with red Wheels we broke our other one and we W just like it oh well I hate to tell you this kids but no two Tech Decks look exactly the same what the so there's not one that looks just like the one we broke no each one's One of a Kind what well what are we going to do I don't know I guess you kind of screwed I mean you could get one of these kits and try to fix the one you have oh you can fix it with this kid yeah I guess so okay come on go go grab this come on I love you so much ladies ladies shut up I'm stressing about my tech deck that kid should be here by now what's up PJ Hey where's your friend you know the one with the helmet he's supposed to bring me back my tech deck uh they missed the bus but they should be on their way though oh call them huh call them the p and PJ doesn't stand for patient okay I'll call him PJ okay guys we have all these tools so let's try to put it back together what what are you doing Jeffy sorry I thought I was helping no you just lost all the pieces Cody find the pieces hold on my phone's ringing it's Joseph hello hey dude where's Jeffy PJ's asking for his Tech Deck uh there's kind of a situation going on what situation stinky stinky [ __ ] fart wait wait somebody's constipated no no Jeffy just grabbed the phone look the the tech deck is broken wait broken what do you mean broken that's PJ's favorite tech deck he's going to K us I know I know we're trying to fix it I just need you to stall and tell PJ everything's okay stall how do you want me to stall stick it in my squirrel caboo okay I'm not doing that oh listen listen just stall PJ and we'll call you back just stall him stall him okay all right guys we got to fix this hurry H PJ I really like your pink Tech Deck whatever uh PJ Hey where's your friend with my tech deck um um he had a doctor's appointment but he will be here by the end of the day H that kind of pisses PJ off I can't focus in class without all three of my tech de oh I I promise he's on his way though he better be okay guys it's put back together what Junior doesn't look anything like it looked before look it has the wheels on it it doesn't matter the wheels were red before the wheels on the bus go round and round but look no I thought it'd be cool if all the wheels were different colors it doesn't matter if it's cool Junior the wheels have to be red okay fine I'll change all the wheels to Red I just thought it would be sick and that cross is why you don't run with scissors that does it for today's lesson you all can go home see you tomorrow PJ Lana bye what what the freak man what your friend never came back with the tech deck oh uh he must have got stuck in traffic yep that's it I'm going to kill your friend huh okay Cody I added the red Wheels on the tech deck it looks good right yeah I mean it kind of looks like it did oh no Junior that top looks terrible well there's nothing we can do about the top Cody these other boards have different designs on them so we can't change that out guys guys guys PJ's coming a me too Daddy no he's coming for the tech deck oh guys hide all the materials go hide hide it hide it off okay all the pieces are cleaned up yeah I'm scared I'm going to go hide but Cody come back hey bro you never came back with my tech deck bro cuz I was still playing with it bro dude don't mock PJ uh PJ he he he didn't mean to mock you uh your tech deck is right here wait wait a minute what's with all these scratches oh the the scratches you know what don't tell me I already know you do yeah you were shredding the [ __ ] out of this thing man that's totally narar Banks man your fingers must have been bleeding from shredding this hard yeah I was finger dealing that board so hard it was like a girl's Arby's roast beef sandwich I was giving it that Horsey Sauce like yeah damn right you were oh man you know what I don't even shred this hard on my tech deck you know what keep it it's yours champ I don't want it it's broken it got ran over by a bus yeah a Bus full of fingers you know what kid you're not so bad keep on shredding guys what just happened well PJ did not notice that his Tech Deck was broken he thought those scratches were from Jeffy playing with it too hard oh that makes sense my thing looks like that when I play with it too hard so Jeffy you get to keep one of PJ's Tech Decks and PJ still thinks we're cool uhoh I have to pee what Cody you're being really weird just randomly leaving the scene like doesn't make any sense what are you doing hey guys I found that Tech Deck you were looking for what you told me no two Tech Decks look the same oh yeah I just lied so you'd spend more money at Target you know that kit you bought it was three times the price of this one but it worked the boss gave me a huge promo oh man this techic is so cool whoever was playing with this was narar Binks I got to try it out oh man look at my hand like Tony Hawk Tony Hawk's hands Tony Hawk hands Tony hands Tony Han Haw John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776 [ __ ] yeah he did
