Sister disowned me but now that she's homeless she's asking to live with me

to start with i 26 female have never had a good relationship with my sister 32 female she didn't like having a younger sibling and had no interest in me she moved out when she was 18 and ceased any contact with me even going as far as rubbing it in my face how she never wanted to know me by showing up for christmas at grandparents houses and bringing gifts for our cousins but not me and by showing up for their birthdays but not mine the last time i was anyway hopeful for us having a relationship was at our youngest cousin's first birthday party when i was 15. she brought along her friends and was mocking me for trying to talk to her when i saw her earlier at the party so i hardened toward her that day and i decided if she didn't want to be my sister then i would just need to accept that and move on from her she got married when i was 17 and told our parents i was not welcome our parents tried to change her mind but she was not having it i thought that was when they realized there was no way we were going to be buddies someday or even real family and now they expect me to help her out she got divorced from her husband four years ago he got her into a lot of debt and then bailed they have a seven-year-old together she lost her job recently and she got a new job in my city and then the rental she had planned to move into fell through and she ended up asking me to stay i told her no she went to our parents and the three put pressure on me when i stood by my stance they paid for her to stay in a hotel for a while she has not been able to secure a place and apparently lost the job due to a lack of actual address they are all saying i turned my back on her and we should help family i got really frustrated with all of them but especially my parents she has never wanted a single thing to do with me she has purposely gone out of her way to hurt my feelings and make it clear i am nothing to her but i'm supposed to help her out because she's a struggling single mom after everything with no apology or actual sign that she doesn't feel the same about me where my guilt is coming in to ask this is she has a daughter and i feel bad for her but her daughter is also a stranger to me i have never been a part of her life and i don't even know if she knows who i am but still she's a kid and as a mom now i am wondering if i am being the total jerk here like they seem to believe am i the idiot not the idiot an awful situation for the daughter but this is karma coming for your sister for the way she treated you you have absolutely no obligation to take her in she has never treated you as family so why should you treat her as such your parents can take her in if she's that desperate for help i female 33 have been married for seven years and i've been struggling with health issues that prevented me from having a healthy pregnancy i've miscarried three times and both me and my husband are becoming frustrated and we've literally lost any hope this has clearly become a sensitive topic for us and i can't help but feel absolutely horrible whenever i think about it my brother sam and his fiance have been together for two years now she's a bit rude and would constantly bring up the fact that i can't have kids by making backhanded comments for example she told my mom and dad after i miscarried for the second time that my family won't have any grandchildren till she and my brother have kids and talked about how much pressure i must be feeling since the clock was ticking because women over 30 have less chances of having healthy pregnancy even implied that my husband will eventually leave since he had a right to have his own kids since i can't give him that as a result i've distanced myself from my brother and my family because she was present at their house the whole time behaving like this i had my third miscarriage this past week and i'm still dealing with complications both physically and mentally i got a text from my brother's fiance the next day literally after i got out of the hospital that she was so sorry i miscarried and that she was happy to tell me that she was pregnant in the same text i couldn't help but notice the sarcasm in her text especially when she decided to invite me to my own parents house to celebrate completely disregarding what i just experienced she found out and she told my whole family told them that i blocked her right after i found out she was pregnant and used the fact that i didn't visit because i was being resentful and jealous my brother was angry that i blocked her he told me i was clearly being bitter and disrespectful my brother keeps parroting her words and won't even see anything wrong with her behavior it's always been like this but now it's worse since she's pregnant and everyone is trying to please her that i ruined this for them and that i shouldn't hate on my future niece nephew out of spite both my mom and dad weren't happy with what i did mom even tried to say my husband made me do this because we're too bitter to be happy for my brother and his fiance the extended family heard the news and they said they were shocked i did this saying i'm always known to be a nice person who doesn't pull this type of nonsense i didn't feel like what i did was wrong but now i do i feel so horrible but given how she treated me in the past i figured she did this deliberately not the idiot show everyone the text she sent you she's doing this on purpose and she sounds like a psycho she was trying to rub it in your face you don't put the two things in the one message and she could have held off for a few days after to tell you op you need to show your family the message and read it out how you perceived her tone to be [Music] my 17 female parents got divorced six years ago my mom quickly remarried and my dad has been seeing his new girlfriend for nearly two years now i now live at my mom's house for two weeks then switch over to dad's house for the next two weeks my relationship with my mom has always been difficult i always felt like my mom wished for a more girly daughter so we could do classical mother-daughter activities together but i'm simply not that person my mom wants me to be i've always been more tomboyish and been into sports especially tennis since i was a little girl something my mom never truly understood or made an effort to be interested in as a result my mom and i never had the close mother-daughter relationship i feel like my mom wished for us to have now my relationship with my dad has been the polar opposite my dad and i always got along great and i have always been a daddy's girl but when my dad introduced me to his new girlfriend julia i instantly disliked her my younger me thought she was stealing my dad from me her being relatively young 27 when they began dating and a how i unfairly stereotyped her at first vapid pretty girl certainly didn't make me like her either but my younger me misjudged her and she's honestly pretty great she always supported me showed an interest in my passions showed up to my tennis matches something my mom didn't bother to do and has been a great person all around i'm now ashamed to admit this but i didn't recognize this until three months ago and have been acting pretty horrible towards her before that the problem second last weekend i had a tennis tournament where i got second place for the second place i won a spa day for me and a guest i decided to invite julia my dad's girlfriend to thank her for supporting me and for dealing with my horrible behavior you don't believe how happy she was when i invited her but when i returned to my mom's place on sunday evening my mom kind of assumed i would invite her as my guest for the spa day she seemed to really look forward to it when i awkwardly told her that i already invited julia she was disappointed and sad since then she has acted downcast and moody and we haven't really talked i tried to explain the situation to her but she won't listen now i feel horrible i feel like i really hurt my mom and i feel like i chose julia over her am i the idiot for inviting my dad's girlfriend over my mom to spend the day with me not the idiot but i can definitely see how this would have hurt your mother you say she likes girly things and here's a girly thing but you didn't want to share it with her sit down with your mom tell her you noticed she's hurt and you did not intend that you feel awful and explain that you invited julia as an apology of sorts to make up for being so awful to her for so long then let your mom know that you would really love to have a special mother-daughter spa day just with her i have been putting off talking to my mom until sunday a week ago when i finally found a good opportunity to talk to her i told my mom that i love her that i didn't intend to hurt her by inviting julia and that i feel terrible for hurting her i also explained to her why i invited julia this time she seemed to listen and reassured her that me inviting julia doesn't mean we can't have our own spa day or that i chose julia over her because she is still my mom and i'll always love her then i showed her the websites of some spa places i had looked up beforehand and offered to pay for part of the costs i know some people advised me against it but i think it's a small but important gesture to show my mom how much she means to me my mom seemed really excited to go to one of them with me and said i wouldn't have to pay a cent then came the hard part for me i told my mom that i feel like she never supported me in my interests and it hurts me when she can't even be bothered to show up at my tennis matches i also expressed my feelings that i always felt like she wished for a more girly daughter and how this hurts me at first my mom got pretty defensive she tried to deny it but i was adamant and in the end when she saw how important this was to me she apologized and promised to improve later at dinner my mom asked me if i would like to go to a nearby climbing park with her and my stepdad in the future i instantly agreed and was so happy because going to a climbing park isn't something my mom would normally suggest i feel like it means she genuinely listened to me and tries to truly improve our relationship it has been a week now since i talked to my mom and i'm in good spirits as i hope our relationship will improve i'm also hopeful we will find our own mother-daughter thing in the future it really sounds like it seems your mom is showing you she meant her apology she made a promise to try and now is acting on that promise good on you for approaching her and even having a suggestion ready and standing firm it's natural she got defensive at first but her dropping it not only shows she acknowledged this was important to you but showed a part of her humility she realized she had done something wrong and then her words and later actions that followed reflected on how she does want to work on your relationship her relationship with her daughter is more important than her being right or sticking to any image healthy communication for the win people this is a long story so buckle up seven years ago my husband passed away few months after he passed away a 15 year old teenager came to my house she revealed that she was his daughter his name isn't in her birth certificate but he really stepped up after he found that her mom died when she was 10. she went to live with her grandmother and my husband paid her grandmother each month to help with the expenses after my husband died the payment stopped and her grandmother threw her out after being homeless for a couple of weeks she came to my house this was a pretty big shock to me and i cannot stress how much i didn't want this person in my house at the same time i couldn't leave a child homeless so i told her that i would help her and give her a place to stay i also warned her that i only wanted to help her out and that i am not taking any maternal role and she shouldn't expect me to she agreed she stayed at my house from the years of 15 to 18. my kid had already gone off to college and i didn't mind i never acted on the resentment i felt but at the same time i refused to do anything that could be considered parent-like i pretty much only provided her with food and gave her a place to stay that's it she left when she was 18. i didn't have any contact with her after she left she is now 20 and she contacted me recently she wanted to connect and she told me that i am the only mother figure she has she wanted to bond with me and she wanted me to consider her a daughter to me after some contemplation i reminded her that it wasn't a role i was willing to take and that it was something i warned her about very early on i helped her because she needed it not because i loved her she cried and told me that it wasn't fair and i wasn't giving her a chance the thing is i don't think i have to i have tried refusing politely but she keeps pushing this and i am about to block her everywhere my kid who has always refused to even talk to the girl thinks i am right my friends are divided on the issue am i the idiot here not the idiot except for your late husband he really did drop something on you my ex has a love child of his own i'll say for legal reasons allegedly if we were in your shoes i would have made the same choices i wouldn't have bonded with my husband's love child but i wouldn't have let her stay on the streets i can understand her hurt but if you can't find it in you to want to bond with her then why force it would she have to force a bond with you if you wanted it and she didn't want to i do feel bad for this child but it's also true that opie was a good woman to not throw her on the street it's mainly just sad that she has no one else [Music] [Music] do you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 16,447

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Keywords: reddit gir, reddit money, reddit parents, reddit inheritance, reddit, r/askreddit, r/girl, r/money, r/parents, r/entitledparents, askreddit, r/inheritance, askreddit girl, askreddit parets, askreddit money

Id: YQO8Q9inyDk

Length: 14min 40sec (880 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 15 2021