Husband introduces his mistress as his long lost daughter

[Music] i don't know what to do it feels as if everything i hold dear is crumbling beneath me around a year ago my husband anxiously sat me down and told me that he has discovered he had a long-lost daughter and that she wanted to meet him according to him he had an x he got pregnant as a teenager but she had moved away before she started showing and without telling him she gave birth and kept his daughter a secret from him eventually she put cat up for adoption cat had now tracked him down and wanted to get to know him as i'm unable to conceive on my own i was very enthusiastic and encouraging of them meeting i thought we would be a nice little family though she lived out of state and we would only see her infrequently he was nervous about it but they met and seemed to establish a good relationship almost immediately i'll admit before her first visit i wanted to snoop around on her facebook twitter etc but he told me he had already tried and she just didn't seem into social media at one point well several i asked about dna testing or speaking to the mother slash adoptive parents he told me all of that would come in due time but based on the details she had shared with him he was 90 percent sure she was his biological daughter he showed me some pictures she had sent him and they indeed very very closely resemble one another their first few visits together were private but eventually we had a big dinner for her at my house she could be a little immature and inappropriate she brought up politics s and religion within the first hour but she was charming my husband has seen cat numerous times since then both with and without me present a week ago a young man i've never met friend requested me then sent me a facebook link it was cat but it wasn't her screen name wasn't cat or katherine but something else completely i was only able to give it a glance before he sent another message it was cat's ex-boyfriend and he wanted me to know that this was the woman my husband had been sleeping with i immediately ceased contact with him and assumed he must have misunderstood cat's relationship to my husband somehow that cat may use an alias for facebook but looking at her account i started noticing other discrepancies personal details that were similar to but unlike cats that facebook account ate at me for a couple of days before i asked my husband if he knew what any of this was about he immediately started crying there had been an incident where he'd been in the shower or something and for whatever reason he suspected i had gone through his texts he had deleted most of them prior to leaving the phone unattended but she had since texted him a couple of times in character which is how he segued into telling me that they were in a fake incestuous daddy-daughter relationship i felt sick to be honest i actually vomited once the arguing was over he said that at the time he had just come up with the long-lost daughter ruse as a panicked impulsive excuse when i was excited and encouraging of the situation the two of them decided to take advantage of that opportunity he told me that he loved me but not in any romantic or s way that he married me out of fear of never being able to do better he kept saying you're such an amazing person that he had considered leaving well before he met her but he had always been afraid i may hurt myself or start drinking again i left and have not returned to our home since my best friend is the only one who has any idea of what is happening how do i tell my family we're not particularly close but a small few of them have actually met her how do i tell anyone what happened my husband's parents are both deceased but he has a brother and nephew who will surely wonder what is up with their niece cousin unless they know the truth already do his friends and coworkers know or has he lied to them too he actually does not have a facebook account though i now know he uses a site for this sick stuff but i've posted about cat on numerous occasions did no one look into it or ask him i know i personally fielded a lot of questions we have a lot of mutual acquaintances and i feel as if he just played the cruelest joke on me imaginable the marriage is beyond saving and there will be the normal burdens that come with that i know eight years of my life wasted the financial and practical and even heart sick issues i could potentially deal with but what do i do about the humiliation what do i do if my ex-husband dates or even marries his daughter who do i publicly accept as my own once we are through how do i find out who knew and who didn't should i move away start all over somewhere else and try to make different friends it has taken me a while to finish this but i honestly cannot even begin to explain how embarrassed of everything i am it hurts more than i ever thought this could when i was 13 it became known that my dad cheated on my mom and i was the result my older brother and sister were my dad's but i wasn't my parents went through an adjusting period and decided to work things out and my father didn't want me around anymore that was his condition to forgive my mom my mom being the sahm that she was all her life i think she just saw no way out but to accept they decided to send me to boarding school at that time my grandmother mom's mom agreed to take me in instead so i went to live with her my brother and sister never visited me or talked to me after that i tried as i missed them but they turned me down telling me that i'm not part of their family my mom kept visiting me about once a month but those slowly were reduced last i saw or heard from her was over six months ago my grandmother took good care of me though when i was 14 i was feeling completely abandoned and very lonely so i decided to find out more about my biological father my mom refused to give me any information but my grandmother told me who he is apparently she had suspected all those years ago that my mom was having an affair with her boss he was the son of the owner of a company my mom worked for and my mom was his assistant i went to him told him who my mom is and said that i might be his daughter he did a dna test and it was positive and he took me and introduced me to his wife they accepted me immediately and treated me really well all that time he had two sons two and three years old they introduced me to the extended family too and they all accepted me and welcomed me into the family i was surprised about how well they were treating me i expected things to be a lot messier they even gave money to my grandmother so she has all she needs when i lived with her so in the next few years i became closer to them my biological father who i started calling dad always wanted me around my half brothers just grew up to know me as their big sister so to them i'm just the big sister my stepmother was wonderful early on she sat me down and told me that i'm her husband's daughter that means she will love me like her own child and promise me to never treat me differently than her own sons and she's been keeping that promise they took me with them on holidays they even gave me a room at their house with a set of keys and told me that i'm always welcome to live there with him if i want i live with my grandmother i never told my mom about any of it i asked my grandmother not to tell her either she agreed as she was pretty upset about how she treated me three weeks ago it was my 18th birthday my dad and stepmother had thrown a party for me and it was very nice however all day i waited for my mom to call me and she didn't late at night after the party i was in my room at their house and hoping that my mom would still call she didn't when midnight passed and the day was officially over i started crying my stepmother heard me and came to my room gave me a big hug and tried to comfort me we talked for a long time i ended up falling asleep in her arms when i woke up she was still there awake and holding me in her arms at that time i asked if it's okay to call her mom from now on she was surprised then tears came then she said she wants nothing more in her life so we cried a little with each other and then we were excited to tell the rest of the family who all loved it two days ago i was with my grandmother and my phone rang it was my stepmother who i had changed in my context to mom and changed my mom to her full name my grandmother saw that and after the phone call was done she asked how's my mom and i told her that it was my stepmother she became very upset that i was calling her mom she told me she's disappointed and even though my mom hasn't been a good mother i've crossed the line she then called my mom bio and was very angry at her for ducking things up so much and she told her everything my mom came over that night and it was like a three-way argument slash fight between us my mom was very angry that i reached out to that family she told me they're bad people and doesn't want me involved with them i said something to her like they've been nicer to me than you ever were we fought for an hour and she left my grandmother still believed that i crossed a line that i shouldn't have and i betrayed my mother and her and hour later my father my bio mom's husband came and asked to talk to me he told me that he's sorry about how he treated me and he thinks he was unfair and selfish to push me away he said i reminded him of her infidelity and he couldn't stay if i was around and he had two children too and he did it for them i told him that i don't care those two children abandoned me even though i was still their sister they were following his lead and i blame him and my mom he said he had a big fight with my mom about me and she blames him for losing me and he doesn't think they will stay married unless i tell my mom that i forgive both of them he told me that if i really want them to divorce and live alone i can do nothing but i can fix things if i try so now i'm stuck here two questions is my grandmother right did i cross a line and betray her i care about this more than anything else i love her she took care of me when i was abandoned by everyone else and she's always been good to me so i care about her opinion and want to make everything okay with her do i tell my mom that i've forgiven her and her husband and help them patch things up my husband allen and i have been married for five years and until last month everything was perfect we had struggled to conceive for two years and when i found out i was pregnant last year we were both ecstatic we were even more ecstatic when we found out we were having fraternal twins because we wanted two children and we wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant a second time i had an incredibly easy pregnancy and our beautiful daughters were born last august i am mixed race my father was half black half white my mother was half korean half white and alan is white so i was pleasantly surprised when both of our girls were born with blue eyes the older twin abby has light brown hair and a pale complexion and the younger twin lana has blonde hair and a more tanned complexion but both twins look practically identical in terms of face shape and facial expressions allen's father is completely colorblind and he sometimes has problems distinguishing which twin is which when i post photos of the girls on facebook that's how much the girls look alike about a month ago allen's older brother bevers 36 male announced that he was getting a divorce from his wife melody due to melody's infidelity bevers had discovered that melody had been cheating on him for years and a dna test proved that their son's father was the other man's bevers has been staying at our house until his apartment is available for move-in he has already signed his lease for the first of next month the landlord is replacing the carpet i want to mention at this point that bevers is not on allen's side and has actually been in full support of me and the twins because bevers's situation seems to be what triggered allen about a week after bevers came to stay with us allen started to become increasingly distant and cold towards me and the twins he would go into his office and surf reddit and play video games for hours on end if i asked him to help me out with the house or with the babies he would either completely ignore me or mumble a reply and go back to his computer if i asked if anything was wrong he would get annoyed and tell me to stop being paranoid last friday i asked alan to pick up the girls from daycare because i had to stay late at work i sent allen both a text and a facebook message because we so often switch between the two when we chat at work both alan and i work full time but alan starts work an hour later than i do we had agreed that alan would drop the twins off at daycare in the mornings and i would pick them up after work but we also agreed that this was flexible in case something came up my phone was on silent because i was in a meeting and when i checked it after the meeting i had several voicemails from the daycare staff saying that the twins were still there and hadn't been picked up the daycare is open until late at night so the girls were fine but the staff was a bit worried that something had happened to either myself or alan i checked my phone to verify that the text i sent to alan had gone through and the read receipt was marked as read i checked facebook messenger to see if he received the message and it was also marked as read i picked up the twins from daycare and when i got back to the house allen was sitting in his office playing a video game and listening to music on his phone i put the girls in their cribs and went back to the office to confront alan who was trying his best to ignore me i stood in front of the tv to block his view of the game and he just kept on playing like i wasn't even there i couldn't believe he was ignoring me so i unplugged the power strip from the wall and unplugged his headphones from his phone and then asked him why are you ignoring me why didn't you pick up abby and lana from daycare allen then finally reacted to me and said that he wasn't going to do anything to care for the twins or me unless we had a paternity test done to prove that he is the father of both of the babies he said that he doesn't believe that the babies were his because both babies have blue eyes and both allen's and my eyes are browned lana has blonde hair and alan's hair is brown he thought that all babies are born with blue eyes so he wasn't suspicious until it was clear that the baby's eye colors weren't darkening i was shocked and i told allen that both blonde hair and blue eyes are recessive traits and then drew him a punit square to show him how the genetics worked allen tore up the piece of paper with the punit square on it and threw the paper and the pen at me screaming that i was trying to lie to him and making up the science and that i was just trying to cover up my cheating he was so loud that neither one of us noticed that bevers had also come home from work and was watching us from the doorway bevers had seen alan throw the pen at me and he grabbed alan by the collar and threw him to the ground then bevers told me that he and alan spoke the night before and that he already had explained to alan how the genetics work and to get over his insecurities and be a father to the twins but clearly that message hadn't sunk in allen got up and started packing a bag and told both myself and bevers that he was getting a lawyer and that when the paternity test proves that he isn't the father that we are both going to regret what we did to him alan has been staying at a motel since he left because no one in their family will let him stay with them they all think that alan is being irrational and throwing away his marriage for no reason at all and their dad has already called me and promised that he will pay for my lawyer to defend myself against his own son in court i'm angry hurt and confused by alan's behavior and i really don't know which direction to take at this point allen's family has taken my side but i really wish this hadn't been an issue in the first place alan and i have never had any fights like this before and he hasn't ever acted like this in the 10 years i've known him bevers has been helping me take care of the twins since alan left but i'm worried that i won't be able to afford the daycare on my own or that i'll have to quit my job or that alan will sell the house or a thousand other possibilities i have no idea what to do [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 13,894

Rating: 4.8747697 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit, reddit family, reddit twins, reddit dna, r/askreddit, askreddit girl, r/girl, r/family, r/twins, r/dna, askreddit dna, askreddit family, askreddit twins

Id: 9SHCVDZpnT0

Length: 17min 33sec (1053 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 18 2021