Seinfeld - Coats and Jackets, Pt 1

i don't like sitcoms no i don't either even yours no i mean not like i'm mad at it no it's just not my thing and i knew if anyone would understand it it's you how funny is that yeah if anyone would understand why i didn't want to watch seinfeld with seinfeld every time i turned on seinfeld and you guys were worried about a jacket why don't you relax and take your jacket off oh i can't uh have a tendency to get chilly masculine you have so many nice jackets i don't know why you had to bring this jacket where's the jacket like this what's wrong with that nice gray one you have beautiful clothes they sit in your closet morty you can't wear this 1946 i went to work for harry flemming and i came up with the idea for the beltless trench coat jerry look at this sport jacket is this a jacket to wear to an anniversary party she made me fly all the way from florida for this and then she criticizes my jackets and you you don't have anything i got my sport checking you're not wearing that to a funeral what's wrong with it it looks ridiculous what i'm going to buy a new sport jacket now what is this this is beautiful these jackets never fit me right right on wow this is soft suede this may be the most perfect jacket i have ever put on oh man that is a beautiful jacket though what's with the pink lining of the candy stripes well it's just the lining you can always have it changed a new jacket what do you think it's beautiful is it me that's definitely you really that's more you than you've ever been shy what is with the pink lining i don't know pink lining so what'd you pay for this i paid what it cost over 300 yes but let's just stop it right there it's over 400. i'm really i'm not here is it over [Music] you're not gonna wear this do you want it yeah yeah okay i'll take it down baby this is huge when did this happen wednesday this jacket has completely changed my life when i leave the house in this it's with a whole different confidence like tonight i might have been a little nervous but inside this jacket i am composed grounded secure that i can meet any social challenge can i say one thing to you and i say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality absolutely it's fabulous and i'll tell you something else i'm not even going to ask you i want to know but i'm not going to ask you'll tell me when you feel comfortable so what was it 400 500 did you pay 500 for this over six can't be seven don't tell me you paid 700 for this jacket did you pay 700 for this jacket is that what you're saying to me you are sick is that what you paid for this champion over 700 what did you pay for this jacket i won't say anything i want to know what you paid for this jacket oh my god a thousand dollars you paid a thousand dollars for this jacket all right i'm walking out of here right now thinking you paid a thousand dollars for this jacket unless you tell me different snow that can't be good for suede can it i wouldn't think so what should i do now we're taking the cab aren't we okay it's only five blocks once you turn it inside out inside afraid [Laughter] wait a minute what the hell do you call this i turned my jacket inside out they look like a damn fool but it's a new suede jacket might get ruined well you're not walking down the street with me and my daughter dressed like that that's for damn sure it's uh it's only a few blocks hey where's your new jacket you're going to throw this out well i can't wear it if you're just going to throw it out you know i can take it yeah guys hey see i like it like this is this from the snow last night you know what you should have done you should have turned it inside out okay i'm gonna take the suit and the shoes and the hat all right i was wondering do you know that blackhawks jacket you have oh sure my blackhawks jacket i love my blackhawks jacket well you know i was thinking if things don't exactly work out well it wouldn't fit you the sleeves are too short no i tried it on if it's good i mean is it that hard to get black round buttons that they have to make it into a whole thing like this is such a great jacket these buttons are so unique so one of a kind you'll never find and we'll save you the trouble of knocking your brains out because we know they're going to fall off too that's the other point that they're trying to make never forget i once left my jacket on a bus when i was 14. i was flying to chicago last week on a plane make sure you hang on to your jacket this guy leaves this jacket in my mother's house two years ago now she hasn't spoken to him since and now he says he wants the jacket back so well i'm not giving it back why not because i meet a lot of women in this jacket oh they're attracted to it i mean why do you think my mother went out with him what's going you remember that guy who took my jacket the one i found at my mother's house yeah my mother told me that he got arrested for mail fraud no kidding that he's in jail what happened to the jacket do you take it with him that's what i intend to find out so my mother's going out with this guy who leaves a jacket in her house so you know she gives it to me well two years later he shows up and he takes it back and now he's in prison got arrested for mail for all so elaine all you have to do is go over to the apartment tell the landlord that you're his daughter and you want to bring him the jacket in prison whoa the landlord no i'm not the daughter no no he's never met her she's in california what is so special about this jacket he believes it possesses some extraordinary power over women how do you even know the jacket is there well i don't i'm guessing hi um i'm wanda pepper i'm albert pepper's daughter my father asked me to come here and pick up his jacket for gave me strict orders not to turn the jacket over to anyone but i suppose i could make an exception in your case i found it woman used to walk around here he said who's the [ __ ] in the blue jacket who's got the street all screwed up wait a second what are you doing i'm taking your clothes no no that's my only suit it cost me 350 dollars i gotta remove ginsburg you are still afraid you are not a man what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet i can't stand velcro with that tearing sound i used to be in raincoats i refuse to put that money in my lines i like that jacket yeah we're heading up to westchester going to hit the links oh yeah hey uh isn't that good oh okay yeah okay let me ask you this when's the last time you went skiing about six years ago i think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now this place is very hot in here yeah wearing that heavy jacket all right fine i'll take it off grab the wheel no jerry i don't want to do that come on just no i don't like to do this elaine just get it my hand is stuck okay don't fool around my hands what's with this thing so she broke up with him it's all right don't worry about it so why did she break up with you what is with this damn zipper it doesn't matter you'll fix it later tell me about your girlfriend i'm stuck on a piece of cloth here i can't get the cloth out it doesn't matter this is a brand new jacket boy this really burns me up george george look at me okay forget about the zipper what's your girlfriend's name susan okay we're getting somewhere it's just so frustrating see it's kind of got a little piece of cloth that's stuck underneath and i'm going to pull it up a little bit well here you hold it wait hold it hold it damn it i can't move it oh my god i've never seen a zipper stomach i almost died i'm afraid we're gonna have to stop i think we'll just save me a seat no i don't want to save seats don't put me through that i once had the fleece just ripped out of my winter coat and to see you saying i'll wait out here for them you go in and save seats me but that's three seats i can't save three seats i told you about that time toward my winter coat could i keep my trench coat in your closet for a few months jerry my closet is packed to the guilds i'm afraid to open the door just for a few months it'll make all the difference in the world i can't keep you going my closet i'm sorry you feel that well that's all i just want to go get popcorn okay and and somebody took my seat and my coat is in there jerry take the coat please one month i don't want the coat [Music] what happened to you that's my coat give me that where did you get that you took my seat what is this stain those yellow mustards here i can't take your jacket off damn okay would you take the jacket off leave me alone get off my back about the jacket uh would you like to take a seat sure thank you why don't you uh take your cuddle so she kept twisting i take off my coat i refused and then she forcibly tried to get me to remove it she didn't take the court off in my house either you know there are tribes in indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody's house the families go to war so you don't take your coat off and now everyone at nyu thinks i'm gay not that there's anything wrong with that at all listen i'm gonna have dinner with her tonight sorry if i borrow your jacket oh sure yeah 23 000. and i was looking good too got a nice new shirt on i'm wearing your jacket for a second my jacket i wore that in the car the beast so then this guy comes up to me and he starts feeling my jacket between his thumb and his forefinger like this so what'd you do i said so what do you think and he said gabardine and i said yeah and you're making dinner you're perfect you're a perfect man what do you think you're doing nothing get your hands off of me hey is it cold out really cold scary cold i don't know what's your definition of scary cold this week my father got a deal from a friend of his it's gortex you know about gortex he likes saying gortex don't you you can't even turn around look at this all right let's go who's driving you are i can't get that thing in my car you're pretty comfortable up there huh bubble boy oh yeah you wish you had this coach why don't you go into the store and i'll wait in the car why don't you go into the store and i'll wait in the car because i've got the coat i can sit in the car and not get cold so what i'm going to leave the car running and the heat will be out all right what are we getting it's hot in here 675. oh great all right with the wine i've been over 20 dollars now yes i'm sorry it's a new couch it's gorgeous you better be careful with that thing let's start a war still inside the liquor store i'm freezing in here why did you just wear a heavier coat dude i wanted to look good for the party you're paying for these you know that coat was gortex it's worth a hell of a lot wasn't it cheap chardonnay i'm definitely freezing i can't stop shaking i'm going through wish you got a coat i wouldn't walk around without a coat in this weather you'll catch your death cold so long somebody put a cane on my foot just like the one i'm gonna put up hey what happened to your coat what is that smelly what are you drunk i had to give it to the liquor store guys i spilled some chardonnay wow look at this this is a beautiful soup huh you think that could be a coincidence george is is that possible you are perfect for that suit you think so you really think this looks okay on me fabulous perfect fit and it's the last one we have is it surprising yes yes shallow party's over i'll let you in on a little secret we're having an advertised sale starting friday that's it will be half price so you think you could uh put the suit aside and hold it for me oh i'm afraid i couldn't do that it wouldn't be fair to the other yes of course and we have to be fair it fits you perfectly you think so what's this can i leave this place for a second can i help you i'm buying a suit no no no no this suit is not for sale excuse me do you work here no and what the hell business is it of yours look i'm doing you a favor having an unadvertised sale this suit is going to be half price starting monday really this morning yes yes i'll take off those fans actually the unadvertised series starts on friday friday thanks you know honey a lot of yapping foreign it where is it where is it well look at this this doesn't belong here someone has made a terrible mistake you bastard you hid the suit i have no idea how this suit got misplaced nevertheless i do believe i shall purchase it i hope you rotten that suit look i'm gonna get you for this i don't know how but i am gonna get you you are gonna pay oh i'll pay half price fellow 40 short oh george nice job [Laughter] i think i'll uh try a sport jack and scarf thing you know like an unemployed actor ah i've won this one in a long time cashmere no gore-tex it's new look at this locket what the hell is this there's a picture in here look at that wow this is really old you don't know whose it is no i i haven't worn this shack since i got it back from the dry cleaner maybe you should ask him all right we'll stop over there yeah this is my wife she died eight years ago i've been looking all over for this why it's a lucky thing i put the jacket on but how did it get in the pocket well you see a chain is broken i must have slipped in when i was uh wow do you see what he's wearing that's the executive now what is the exactly the bellas trench coat my father invented it i sure did raincoats for my business the executive was a classic these hadn't been made in 20 years why would they nobody bought them then he's wearing one these are a hot item at rudy's you don't say you know i have boxes of those sitting in my garage in florida get them up here you know you give me 25 i'll take care of everything you got the deal how did you come up with the idea for the delta strange car i came home one night and i tripped over one of jerry's toys so i took out my belt just to thread them and i got a glimpse of myself in the mirror how serendipitous so that night i cut off the loops and the executive was born there are these three big boxes you can't miss them i want you to ship them here to new york for me i thought you're going to paris i'm still going to paris i got a big deal cooking here what's in the boxes raincoats bank you think you're gonna sell those old crappy raincoats that's garbage i guarantee you doris is not letting you mail those boxes when do you want these send them tomorrow hey remember this raincoat that you sold me sure that's the executive uh-huh there any others i wish they don't make them anymore suppose i told you i have 50 in mid-condition you're interested very interested because they're coming in from florida as we speak i'll bring them in i can't get in the garage what do you mean there is something wrong with the king the key doesn't work you gotta jiggle it a little bit i jiggled it i jiggled it for 15 minutes tell him to come down here and get his own packages you have nothing better to do than to worry about his boxes all you got to do is jiggle it and just get it in there look i find this whole thing very uninteresting when you get the codes come in oh yeah yeah hey i'm on your side why is kramer getting 25 well he told you about the place so what why is that worth 25 it's a find this fee you don't want to find this figures you find something you get a fee find as fee is 10 no more well it's too late now those are my coats i saved them i store them i've been waiting years for this payoff well you're not going to say anything i've been thinking about something yes all about i don't think the deal is fair you don't think no no no i found the place i set the whole thing up i'm doing all the leg work what like where you go there's leg work if anything you're getting too much too much that's right they're my quotes i want 35 i'm thinking more like 15. no way i've taken 15. well yeah i'm not getting 35. all right let's compromise 25 okay it's a deal i can't believe that you're doing all this just to sell some stupid raincoats you don't understand fashion the cyclical this thing could come back i think you're out of your mind who says well rudy's the guy buying more these raincoats morty seinfeld he's a bum say that isn't that one of yours oh hey i just want you to know that i'm retracting our dinner invitation well you don't have to retract it because we never went i'm retracting that it was ever offered i retract your attraction oh what are you trying to load some of that chunky us will you excuse me please we're conducting business here and keep your raincoats i'm not interested and i thought we had a deal that's another one of my shirts when he went off the street who's off the street i'm in the raincoat business 35 years yeah i don't know moss like his stuff my clothes don't have lots because of his march you're not buying my raincoats that's right what's my studio i have a 40 what i just got a brand new armani suit doesn't fit me anymore you want it i don't know oh come on why should it just sit in a closet an armani suit take the suit okay i guess you gonna be home later yeah i'll drop it off no shoot yeah yeah lucky me [Music] here you go you didn't think i was really gonna give you a suit did you well you're giving him the suit that's right and it's armani armani hey armani jerry yes yes i heard come on right huh nah it's okay come on i want to see how it fits oh right all right okay boy look at that that looks great huh i can't believe you're giving them this i don't even want anything for it he's very generous isn't he yes yes he is i'll tell you what you can take me out to dinner sometime dinner yeah you buy me a meal can't get a better deal than that oh you'll never get a better deal than that all right i'll leave you alone yeah all right look at that mommy huh yeah yeah that's a deal that's a terrible deal i don't want to go out to dinner with him i'd rather make my own suit hi jerry it's kenny oh hi i was thinking if you're not busy maybe i can get my meal today yeah you want to get that meal don't you how about mendys oh ever been there no i haven't oh you're gonna love it i'll meet you there around seven all right i really needed that soup you won the suit yet no not yet uh you know what i think i'm just gonna have soup yeah i'll save the meal for another time [Music] another time what other time i had a hot dog earlier i'm not that hungry no no ben you know this is the dinner the soup counts soup's not a meal you're supposed to buy me a meal i'm not stopping you from eating go ahead and eat get anything you want but i don't want anything but soup then that's the meal [Music] but i had the hot dog i didn't tell you to have a hot dog who told you to have a hot dog hey i give you a brand new armani suit and you won't even buy me a me all right fine get the soap you won the suit yet actually i did i put it on last night and slept in it you did ow i'm joking [Laughter] okay this is it you know this is the meal so stock up buddy boy what are you talking about this isn't a meal yes it is soup and sandwich that is a meal you're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant like mendy's i tried to do that this is lunch in a coffee shop doesn't matter this is it this completes the transaction oh soup and a sandwich for a brand new armadi suit is that any kind of a gesture hey what size suit are you 40 40. perfect brand new armani suit you want it absolutely right it's yours i can't stand the sight of it the lion here's the car keys yo listen jerry i've been doing some thinking i want my suit back i don't have your suit i gave it away well it's my suit well it's gone i'm sorry goodbye ben jerry where's my suit i don't have it you want half my omelet i was supposed to leave tomorrow but all of a sudden i've been set up for the job interview that might enable me to extend my business indefinitely and it is all due to this suit how do i look i will shoe it aren't i thanks again hey kenny you still want to get that suit back yeah there it goes [Music] you

Channel: rschreck

Views: 390,848

Keywords: Seinfeld, Jerry, Elaine, George, Kramer, Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, coat, jacket, suit, blazer, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Id: vRdFHCL69lo

Length: 28min 52sec (1732 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 04 2021