Seinfeld Power Hour

[Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] i'm gonna walk nana and on phyllis to the elevator george do you mind waiting just one more minute why would i mind i would love to wait nana nice to see you nini nana and phil it's always a pleasure what a pleasure hey let's do this again real soon i had fun huh can i offer you anything to eat oh no no i'm fine let me help you with these dishes oh no george you don't have to no i know i don't have to i want to george you are such a gentleman i'd argue if i could mrs emery here we go [Music] oh no lindsay it was not in the garbage it was above the garbage hovering like an angel well i type about 90 words a minute i'm completely well versed in all the ibm and macintosh programs well miss coggins you're uh obviously qualified for the job you have all the necessary skills and experience but you're extremely attractive you're gorgeous i'm looking at you i can't even remember my name so i'm afraid this is not going to work out thanks for coming you're luscious you're ravishing i would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra i'm terribly sorry as you can see my references are impeccable i think i'd be a real asset here my only concern is i do take care of my mother so will there be many late nights i can't imagine now janet uh should be here any minute you've been hiding her from us you must really like her oh jerry the minute i saw this girl we just clicked she's got such a nice face her eyes a mouth nose we know what a face consists of i'm sorry i'm late terry elaine i give you janet nice to meet you hi hi do we still have time to make the movie oh uh yeah we just can't go to the supermarket to get some candy [Music] jerry she looks exactly like you she does not yeah maybe she doesn't i don't care yeah hey george and janet oh who's janet george's girlfriend elaine thinks she looks like me but i think it's as you would say cookie talks you know what woman i always thought you looked like lena horn hey hey sure dan you must look exactly like jerry you don't see this oh you're like twins this is eerie what are you talking about janet doesn't look anything like jerry well maybe we do look a little like each other what do you know about what you look like come on george relax just because they look alike that doesn't mean you're secretly in love with jerry all right we're going now bye-bye we just got here george well it's getting dark yeah she's a nice girl kind of quiet though what are you doing don't tell a woman she looks like a man and george doesn't want to hear his girlfriend looks like me frankly neither do i well how should i have broached the subject you don't approach you keep your mouth shut well sounds like someone's having a bad day yeah because of you well then i think one of us should leave [Applause] yeah right come in where can i put this what is it it's wrist jerry the game of world conquest all right that's perfect kramer why do you have to hello newman hello jerry will he take it i gotta go to work take what's aboard jerry we've been playing at newman's for six hours but he's gotta go so why don't you leave it at newman's i wanted to he won't let him we have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper with it so that's here yes yes you're like switzerland i don't want to be switzerland jerry newman and i are engaged in an epic struggle for world domination it's winner take all people cannot be trusted don't look at me oh i'm looking right at you big daddy all right soldier boys let's fall out yeah all right so you're gonna look after him yeah yeah yeah stay strong buddy good okay hey hey guess what i saw newman talking to the super so what the super has keys to your apartment don't you see what's going on newman is planning a sneak attack oh maybe he's got no hot water yeah all right fine you sit there and you watch while newman takes over the world but he'd be a horrible leader and you know who's going to suffer the little people you and george are you through all right all right i'll call him yeah what's that no it's risk it's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives [Music] hello jay may i come in what do you want nothing it's being neighborly you want to hang out shoot the breeze i'm not letting you cheat gnuman you're not getting anywhere near that board jerry i'm a little insulted you're not a little anything nobody so just pack it up and move it out of here hey hey what are you doing watching your door my door yeah for my peephole fisheye she's all [Music] what was that no oh i'm taking the congo as a penalty yeah i am taking over south america and there ain't nothing you can do about it so too bad about that super bowl ticket on newman yeah i just hope tim whitley's electric bills don't suddenly get lost in the mail or it could be lights out for him thanks for having me over guys are you seeing this creamer's car hey cosmo they're towing your car what hit my car what are you doing i'm taking the board with me so i guess you'll see at the game yeah see you there okay are you sure you know where the impala yard is oh stop stalling come on i can't think there's all this noise or is it because i've built a stronghold around greenland i've driven you out of western europe and i've left you teetering on the brink of complete annihilation i'm not beaten yet i still have armies in the ukraine the ukraine you know what the ukraine is it's a sitting duck a road apple newman the ukraine is weak it's feeble i think it's time to put the hurt on the ukraine i come from ukraine you not say ukraine weak yeah well we're playing a game here pal ukraine has came to you how about i take [Applause] so you're tunneling to the center of the earth i'm at the health club and while i'm in the pool some guy walks off with my glasses who steals prescription glasses you don't have an old pair i broke him playing basketball he was running from a b now if i want to see anything i got to wear these george those are prescription goggles what is there to see in a health club pool there's a lot of change down there well i find that guy this much i found those glasses will be returned to their rightful owner we're behind you aqua boy godspeed kind of a sick demented person wants another person's glasses yeah especially those frames you know what you ought to do go see my friend dwayne at j t optical on columbus avenue give you a 30 off yeah come on hey he just got me 30 off on an air conditioner really retail is for suckers wow uh all right what do i have to do you just got to mention my name that's it that's it what about these they look good i like the other one too i've liked about five of them it's a tough decision i have to wear these every day i'm deciding on a new face come on george pick a face and go with it now those look good they're very bold yes they are bold jerry what do you think i think these women would be pretty good-looking excuse me what do you think of these oh we just got those in it's a very exciting new frame yes it is exciting all right this is going to be my new face all right you have a prescription hey that's the guy what guy the guy that stole my glasses this time i got him but you're picking up a little where the hell are we going he's getting on a bus damn those are nice glasses i don't like them they pinch my nose [Music] wayne uh my friend and i would like to exchange frames could you put his lenses and my frames and mine in his yeah we can do that and i'd like a discount why should i give you a discount listen you're lucky i'm not asking for a whole refund you give me ladies frames what's that about ladies frame wait these really do pinch the nose tough luck a deal's a deal oh my god it is them [Music] wait a minute what the hell is that well it's chicken feet i said something as a foot yeah i bought a chicken allow me why cage free farm fresh eggs allow me what are you an idiot uh hey is that your chicken making all that noise oh jerry loves the morning whoo little jerry seinfeld i need my chicken after you thanks that's very sweet but that is not a chicken of course it is i picked it out myself well you picked out a rooster well that would explain little jerry's poor egg production hey did you get little jerry is he okay well he's more than okay he won you let him fight yeah well i couldn't get there in time to stop it but you should have seen little jerry jerry flapping his wings and strutting his stuff he was pecking and weaving and bobbing and talking trash he didn't even have to touch him the other rooster ran out of the ring the whole fight lasted two seconds how long did that usually left five seconds and marcelino kramer marcelino wants us to sell him little jerry seinfeld well that's out of the question but kramer cockfighting is an illegal and immoral activity yeah if you got a loser a little jerry was born to cockpit no no more cockfighting let's just sell him to marcelino the cockfighter and be done with it you know i think you're jealous of what yeah yeah you see and little jerry seinfeld the unlimited future you once had now just because jerry seinfeld is a has been don't make little jerry seinfeld and never was give me that booster you hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will yeti tomorrow night's fight night where's my rooster kramer won't sell well tell you what i'm gonna do i'm gonna take down your check anyway oh thank you marcelino well perhaps someday you would do me a favor and that day is today little yeti a seinfeld must go down in the third round of tomorrow's main event you want little jerry to take a dive not so loud first of all i don't think you can make a rooster take a dive done too second of all jerry seinfeld big or little doesn't go down for anyone anywhere at any time now i'd appreciate it if you please leave big yeti is making a big mistake yeti we'll see about that oh yeah he's looking good huh jerry yeah i think that's enough for today little jerry is a lean mean pecking machine what are you doing with that yeah i'm just gonna heat this up make a little hot tub for little jerry hey cramer be careful hey guess what little jerry ran from here to newman's in under 30 seconds is that good i don't know where's marcelino look at the size of his bird that looks like a dog with a glove on his head celino flew the bird in from ecuador jerry's gonna get his clock cleaned i gotta get him out of there rainbow [Music] nothing is a card from my dad what is it dear son happy festivus what is the rest of it it's nothing it's not when george was growing up no his father hated all the commercial and religious aspects of christmas so he made up his own holiday oh and another piece of the puzzle falls into place all right and instead of a tree didn't your father put up an aluminum pole and that weren't their feats of strength that always ended up with you i got your message i haven't celebrated festivus in years what is your interest just tell me everything huh many christmases ago i went to buy a doll for my son i reached for the last one they had but so did another man as i rained blows upon him i realized there had to be another way what happened to the dog it was destroyed but out of that a new holiday was born a festivus for the rest of us that must have been some kind of doll she was and at the festivus dinner you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year and is there a tree no instead there's a pole requires no decoration i find tinsel distracting right this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where i itch let's do it then all right festivus is back i'll get the pole out of the crawls face oh frank hello woman well happy festivus what is that is that the pole george festivus is your heritage it's part of who you are that's why i headed it's a big dinner tuesday night at frank's house everyone's invited george you're forgetting how much festivus has meant to us all i brought one of the cassette tapes read that phone i can't read it i need my glasses you don't need glasses you're just weak you're weak leave him alone all right george it's time for the festivus feats of strength we had some good times the nails on the 20 g's busted gold it's made from aluminum very high strength to weight ratio i find your belief system fascinating hey happy festivus everyone welcome newcomers the tradition of festivus begins with the airing of grievances i got a lot of problems with you people now you're gonna hear about it you krueger my son tells me your company stinks oh god why you get yours in a minute kroger couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe i lost my train of thought jerry gwen how did you know i was here kramer told me another festivus miracle i guess this is the ugly girl i've been hearing about hey i was in a schvitz for six hours give me a break when gwen wait bad lighting on the porch hey how did my horse do he had to be shot and now as festivus rolls on we come to the feats of strength not defeats of strength this year ianna goes to mr kramer oh gee frank i'm sorry i gotta go i have to work a double shift at h h i thought you were on strike yeah well i caved i mean i really had to use their bathroom frank no offense but this holiday's a little out there you can't call who's going to do the feats of strength how about george good thinking cougar until you pin me george the festivus is not over oh please somebody stop this let's i think you rumble take him georgie come on be sensible stop crying and fight your father this is the best festivus ever okay we ready to go yes please please let's go boy i'm in the mood for a cheeseburger no we gotta go to the soup place what soup place oh there's a soup stand kramer's been going there he's always raving i finally got a chance to go there the other day and i tell you this you will be stunned stunned by soup you can't eat this soup standing up your knees buckle huh there's only one caveat the guy who runs the place is a little temperamental especially about the ordering procedure he's secretly referred to as the souped nazi why what happens if you don't order rice he yells and you don't get your soup what just follow the ordering procedure and you will be fine all right let's let's go over that again all right as you walk in the place move immediately to your right okay the main thing is to keep the line moving i say yeah hold out your money speak your soup in a loud clear voice step to the left and receive right very important not to embellish on your order no extraneous comments no questions no compliments oh boy i'm really scared medium turkey chili medium crab bisque i didn't get any bread just forget it let it go excuse me i i think you forgot my bread bread two dollars extra two dollars but everyone in front of me got free bread you want bread yes please three dollars what no soup for you [Applause] good afternoon one large crab bisque to go red beautiful you're pushing your luck little man sorry thank you thank you hey there um oh oh oh one malagatani and um what is that right there is that lima bean yes never been a big fan um you know what does has anyone ever told you look exactly like al pacino you know sound of a woman very good very good you know something for you come back one year you better decide sister you're on deck sheila hey uh-oh what is this you're kissing in my line nobody kisses in my line i can kiss anywhere i want to you just got yourself a suit how dare you come on jerry we're leaving jerry do i know you you have perfection from yourself from your soul how can i tolerate any less from my customers gazpacho por favor por favor oh i'm part spanish adios muchacho go on live get out but i didn't do anything next hello you think you can get soup please you're wasting everyone's time i don't want sue i can make my own soup five cups chopped porcini mushrooms half a cup of olive oil three pounds celery what is my recipe for a wild mushroom yeah that's right i got them all cold cucumber corn and crab chowder mulleigh tahani you're through soup nazis no more soup for you can i help you name please uh seinfeld uh you made a reservation for a midsize and she's a small i'm kidding around of course yes um okay let's see here 66 years old yeah well he's in perfect health he works out he's vibrant you'd really like him why do people always say that i hate everybody why would i like him so what do you think could you go out with a 66 year old woman well i'll tell you she would have to be really vibrant [Music] so vibrant she'd be spinning oh i'm sorry we have no midsize available at the moment i don't understand i made a reservation do you have my reservation yes we do unfortunately we ran out of cars but the reservation keeps the car here that's why you have the reservations i know why we have reservations i don't think you do if you did i'd have a car so you know how to take the reservation you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation the holding anybody can just take them let me uh speak with my supervisor here we go let's supervisor you know what she's saying over there what hey marge see those two people over there they think i'm talking to you so you pretend like you're talking to me okay now you start talking oh you mean like this so it looks like i'm saying something but i'm not really saying anything at all okay now you say something else and they won't yell at me because they thought i was checking with you oh great i think that's enough see you later i'm sorry my supervisor says there's nothing we can do yeah it looked like you were in a real conversation over there but we do have a compact if you would like that fine all right well we have a blue ford escort for you mr seinfeld would you like insurance yeah you better give me the insurance because i am going to beat the hell out of this [Applause] please fill this out what do you mean what is it it's a country right next to belgium no that's the netherlands holland is the netherlands then who are the dutch you know i i cannot stand this thing anymore i know i hate it too i feel like an out-of-work porn star i told you we should have taken some kind of vacation well why didn't we because you said this would be better remember a vacation from ourselves that's what you said what if we grew mutton chops no buzz cuts parachute paint stop it george stop it i'm sorry you've got to get a job damn it she got any shredded coconut uh we're not doing that oh my god what i got a job interview they want to see me this afternoon so what's this job oh it's beautiful it's in sports nick's rangers playground equipment welcome back to the show yeah this is better yeah so you got any shredded coconut no i gotta have them [Music] i gotta switch shaving creams i'm getting no protection what kind do you use whatever you get look postcard from elaine from europe oh i'm taking this lace out it came undone and touched the floor of a men's room that's the end of that did you see banjo set last night because i read on the internet he killed he killed he only does well when he asks me for a leader he's a time slot head jerry you've got to give him some credit i mean you're just being totally ridiculous i'll see you later buddy do i have to ask i ran out of butter so i had to borrow yours anything else mr nosey why are you buttering your face i'm shaving with it oh moses smell the roses shave is close and clean and the natural emollients keep my skin silky smooth now feel my face i don't want to eat it that is close hello newman you know old friend sometimes i ponder this silly gulf between us and i say why are we really so different for what is i'm not the one doing the cooking newman damn you seinfeld you useless pustule somebody's got something on the griddle maybe it's kramer no he's up on the roof getting some sun with the butter oh no butter i think i cooked myself look at your skin stick of fork in me jerry i'm done [Music] i'm fried technically you're sauteed so what are you doing for that well i just got to keep my skin moist so i don't dry out is that what the doctor said i read an article in bon appetit magazine game hen kind of nice limp you're bringing your work home with you how much longer you're gonna be i'm starving here just a few more squirts cause i gotta stay juicy that's snow it's still with you huh yeah it's baked on in they put another stick of butter in yeah stir it up so sort of melt that feels the coffee shop hey buddy well i'm glad you're here so we can get this all straightened down would you like a cup of tea you got any coffee and coffee yeah coffee no i don't drink coffee yeah you don't drink coffee how about instant coffee no i don't have you don't have any instant coffee well i don't normally he doesn't have instant coffee i don't you buy a jar of folger's crystals you put it in a cupboard you forget about it and later on when you need it it's there it lasts forever it's freeze-dried please drive christmas really i'll have to remember that you took this book out in 1971 yes and i returned it in 1971. yeah 71 that was my first year on the job bad year for libraries bad year for american hippies burning library cards abby huffman telling everybody to steal books i don't judge a man by the length of his hair the kind of music he listens to rock was never my bag but you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the new york public library fella look mr bookman i i returned that book i remember it very specifically you're a comedian you make people laugh i try you think this is all a big joke don't you no i don't i saw you on tv once i remembered your name from my list i looked it up sure enough it checked out you think because you're a celebrity that somehow the law doesn't apply to you that you're above the law certainly not well let me tell you something funny boy you know that little stamp the one that says new york public library well that may not mean anything to you but that means a lot to me one whole hell of a lot sure go ahead laugh if you want to i've seen your type before flashy making the scene flaunting convention yeah i know what you're thinking it's just kind of making such a big stink about old library books well let me give you a hint junior maybe we can live without libraries people like you and me maybe sure we're too old to change the world what about that kid sitting down opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding drawings of peepees and wee-wees and the cat and the hat and the five chinese brothers doesn't he deserve better look if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books you better think again this is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped or maybe that turns you on seinfeld maybe that's how you get your kicks you and your good time buddies well i got a flash for you joy boy [Applause] party time is over you got seven days seinfeld that is one week it's kind of a cool place when it's closed oh yeah you don't have to be quiet listen to the echo hello hello hello hello hello mr bookman i remember when the librarian was a much older woman kindly discreet unattractive we didn't know anything about her private life we didn't want to know anything about her privately she didn't have a private life well you're thinking about that think about this the library closes at five o'clock no exceptions this is your final warning got that cupe down [Music] anyway i hope there's no hard feelings hard feelings what do you know about heart feelings you're a man die in your arms you ever kill somebody what is your problem that's my problem punks like you that's my problem you better not screw up again seinfeld because if you do i'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle that is one tough monkey hey is that peter i can't believe it give me a cup of decaf so did you hear this message it was unbelievable really i can't get over it ah sexy this woman drove us out of our minds like uh how did she sound she got this throaty sexy kind of whisper really like uh like uh jerry i want to slide my tongue around you like a snake [Music] [Applause] i stopped in the club to see him and i was standing in the back while he was on right and there was this tape recorder there and i got this impulse oh cool look at that yeah i'm right there with you that is a schwinn stingray and it's the girl's model oh i always wanted one of these when i was little what do you think jerry jerry huh what do you think oh yeah it'd be great for your paper up i love it i'm getting it can you help me get it down jer jerry i think if i need some help over there you know the only way to really help her is to just let her be [Laughter] oh hey hey what's with your neck it's still killing me from having to get that bike off the wall by myself well if it's any consolation i did get her number i think i really strained it i doubt you strained it maybe you pulled it yeah maybe did you twist it you kind of twisted it i don't know did you wrench it did you jam it maybe you squeezed it turned it you know what why don't you just shut the hell up all right well this is it the food is atrocious but the busboys are the best in the city may i take your coat miss yes thank you the same outfit the exact same outfit how many days was it between encounters three three days well maybe you caught her on the cusp of a new wash cycle you know she did laundry the day after she met you everything got clean and she started all over again possibly but then shouldn't the outfit only reappear again at the end of the cycle maybe she moved it up in the rotation why it's our first date she's already in reruns very curious indeed no i'm just a little uh worn out i know exactly what you mean oh i'm sure you do what god's name is going on here is she wearing the same thing over and over again or does she have a closet full of these like superman i've got to unlock this mystery oh my god oh oh oh i can't go to the movies like this do you mind if we go back to my apartment so i can change change yes i think that's a super idea well this is the fortress of solitude well i guess i'll go change yes change by all means change august 17th 1992 the same dress she never changes oh my god she's gotta have hundreds of these dresses there must be a secret stash around here somewhere are you looking for something hey what are you doing i thought you were changing you know i'm thinking maybe we should just call it a night no no no come on put something else on it's early let's go out if it's all the same to you i think i'm just gonna go to bed you know what i'm kind of tired myself maybe i'll just sleep here on the couch then in the morning you get dressed we'll walk out together both dressed different clothes well i'll be in the same clothes you'll of course be in different clothes because it's your apartment but we'll go downstairs me and my same clothes and you and your different clothes jerry i don't think so you want to throw something on and walk me to a cab get out tell me what you're wearing tomorrow i'll help you lay it out on the bed hello christy i was wondering if we could get together again oh really well you can't break up with me over the phone come on you got to do this in person it doesn't even have to be one-on-one you can bring a group of friends i just want to see you wait don't hang up on me why do you wear the same dress all the time hello out of the question out of the question why no i'm not gonna do that that's one step away from personal ants and prostitutes no no i am not going down that road what does she look like she's good-looking how good-looking very good-looking really good-looking really very good-looking would you take her out yes i would take her out oh you're hesitating what hesitate i didn't hesitate something's up here you hesitated i'm telling you she's good-looking what about the body what kind of bug good body nice body how nice nice just nice pretty nice really good really very nice and good [Applause] what about personnel [Applause] right smarter than me i don't want anyone smarter than me how could she be smarter than you all right let's see let's see what else what else oh yeah what does she do first of all what does he do he wasn't real estate um now he's not working right now he's not working no no no how come he's not working well well i mean he got fired why did he get fired uh oh right um well he tried to poison his boss such a long story cynthia seriously i mean he just had some problems at work is he nuts no no no he's a really really funny guy what does he look like um well he's got a lot of character in his face um he's short um he's stocky he's fat is that what you're saying that he's fat powerful he is so powerful he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head and um what else what else oh right um well he's he's kind of just kind of uh losing his hair he's bald no no no he's not bald he's balding so he will default yep the kind of hair you know long dark hair flowing flowing is it flowing i like flowing cascading hair thick lustrous hair is very important to me thick lustrous hair is very important to me is what we say that's right let's clarify let me ask you this if you stick your hand in the hair is it easy to get it out do you want to be able to get it out or do you want to not be able to get it out i'd like to be able to get it out i think you'll get it out what about the skin i need a good cheek i like a good cheek she's got a fine cheek is there a pinkish hue a pinkish hue yes a rosy glow there's a hue you got great eyebrows women killed to have her eyebrow who cares about eyebrows but she's sweet i like sweet yeah but not too sweet you could throw up from that i don't think you'll throw up she likes to throw him [Applause] has he ever been married no has he been close he once spent a weekend with a woman he didn't really try to poison his boss thanks ask me oh no these don't belong to me i'm i'm not the ass man i think there's been a mistake what's your name again cosmo kramer cosmo cramer you are the ass man no i'm not the asthma well as far as the state of new york is concerned you are did you get your new plates oh yeah i got my new plates but they mixed them up somebody got mine and i got their vanity plates what do they say ass man asthma yeah ass man jerry i'm cosmo kramer the us man can i help you uh yeah dr cosmo cramer proctology oh okay [Applause] [Music] i just can't get over how fantastic you look oh really oh yeah this takes 20 years off and it was all done by laser i don't even need bandages yo last man look at the ass man did he say oh yeah oh my goodness hey yes man you got that straightened why i never dreamed it could make such a difference and cramer made a pass at me raymond made a passage oh you're crazy i'm not crazy he stopped short and made a grab he stopped short that's my move [Music] i'll give him ass man mr cassandra where's your friend kramer i don't know why because i'm looking for him that's why he stopped short what do you mean in a car with my wife he stopped short you think i don't know what that's about that's my old move i used it on a stealth 40 years ago i told everybody about it everybody knows hmm i stopped short really stopping sure that's a good move you're not checking that's a good move hey hey frank don't frank me i know what you did how dare you stop short with my wife come on frank relax i don't even know what you're talking about victor i don't know ass man to think i almost split the prophets on the man's ear with you bro brother if i wasn't there i wouldn't have believed it neither they say this guy's the best he had to use corkscrew pasta jared jerry come here take a look at this the name on the boat look at it ass he's the ass man jerry who's the ice cream which one is the son i am ah i'm dr cooperman i just want you to know that this won't take long and he's going to be fine mm-hmm yeah excuse me um you didn't by any chance just recently get the wrong license plates yes i'm still waiting for the motor vehicle bureau to straighten it out so you're the ass man this i don't care what a security gun what about him why does he have to stand because he's a security guard but i mean look at him he's got to be on his feet like that all day i know that's brutal i think i'm going to say something to you george you just met him don't say anything to him aren't you concerned about the security guard not really [Music] she's not concerned about the security guard what kind of a person is this i'm marrying a person who doesn't care that this man has to stand here eight hours a day when he could easily be sitting all right george what do you think let me ask you something when you go into a store does it bother you that they make the security guard just stand there all day [Music] no they didn't bother susan either that's why i'm different i can sense the slightest human suffering are you sensing anything right now let me just say this it is inhumane to make a man stand on his feet in one spot for eight hours a day why shouldn't he have a chair oh what about criminal activity he's got to be alert he can't jump out of the chair how long does that take yeah look at this here watch criminals boom i'm up stop it stop it stop it maybe they offered him a chair and he turned it down would you get out of here who's gonna turn down a chair i would be very interested to know how he felt about all this maybe i'll have a talker i know you will [Music] [Music] tired how come oh chad what i i couldn't help but notice that uh you don't have a chair i don't need a chair no i didn't mean to imply that you did you're obviously a very uh well proportioned individual whatever i was just wondering is um have they ever offered you a chair no would you like a chair i suppose if they gave me one i'd sit down you wouldn't obviously i'd rather sit than stand that's what you're asking that's exactly my point well who wouldn't because i tell you frankly i would like to walk in here one day and find you sitting down that would give me a lot of pleasure i'll be crazy so i spoke to the security guard yeah and it was tough to get a good read but i think if i brought him a chair he'd sit so you're going to get him a chair yep it's really just a question of what kind thinking about a bar stool yeah i'd give him some height be able to check things out with the back or without oh i think i'd go for the back swivel i suppose he could swivel hey maybe one of those director's chairs what do you think of those i think that's kind of a pompous look you know my parents used to have a kitchen chair that would have been perfect anyone those vinyl things yes vinyl yeah maybe excuse me can i help you nope just uh you're in the chat of the security guard did mr ross tell you to do this what's your name evan fein i'm engaged to mr ross's niece i'm probably gonna be taking over this whole place someday so if i were you i'd stay on my good side i'm terribly sorry i didn't know and it's a mistake there you go what do you think mr ross said this was okay i'm his nephew all right don't worry about it go ahead checking it not bad not bad at all you said step off wow that that is too much hey uh hey uh tony i just had this brainstorm for us can you guess what it is no bowling what do you say bowling bowling's insane bowling is crazy time bowling i don't think so george you get no rush from bowling rush you want to rush drop a ball on your toe my friend talk about a rush you'll be throbbing you'll see visions i'm thinking rock climbing all right rock climbing just the doors all right all right hey i'll make some sandwiches you know what what do you like tuna peanut butter whatever all right all right i gotta buy some bread yeah yeah you know i am definitely down for some rock climbing get me two i am down i am totally down lock me down cool so uh what do you say we climb a rock manana yeah manana uh manana might might be a problem i'm i'm supposed to uh have a boil lanced manana you know i think they charged me if i canceled with only one manana's notice hey kramer hey hey hey grandma my man what are you doing manana manana i'm doing nada what do you say uh you scale some rock with me and george tony it's gonna be too many sandwiches come on kramer what are you saying kramer it's pretty dangerous up there no i'm down yes yeah yeah i'll see you all right buddy it's great you down george what's what's wrong oh no i am down rock climbing where do you come off going rock climbing rock climbing you need a boost to climb into your bed all right yeah what is it with you and tony what are you just like a sidekick now yeah that's right i like it such a cool guy cool guy what are you in eighth grade he's the first cool guy i've ever been friends with in my whole life you know it's a different world when you're with a cool guy he's not afraid of anybody either way he talks to waitresses he gets free pie hey hey nice move today what horning in on my rock climbing trip it's just supposed to be me and tony he asked me you put him on the spot you know i think that you're in love with him what that's ridiculous oh no i don't think so you love him you better be careful on those rocks tomorrow buddy and you're not getting any sandwiches either totally [Music] i'll rock in front of you yeah take the rope thread it through the carabiner and knot it then i'll climb up to where you are all right george you got it yeah you got it clutch yeah hey george you got anything to eat dude yeah i uh i got some sandwiches i i got tuna and salmon salad tony because i know you you don't like peanut butter it's feeling good all the time [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: LastCallGaming

Views: 3,047,304

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Id: hzhXEXzquf0

Length: 61min 36sec (3696 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 10 2021