r/Iamverybadass · that is a fun fact!

liz peacefully until i get to you this has to be a joke this has to be a joke yo what's poppin people welcome back to easy peasy i'm cougar on today's narrative and well today we're looking at uh slash i'm very cool it's actually bad donkey if you know what i mean but youtube won't let me say it with that said let's get to it demon die dictated all right then good for you bud good for you am i batman am i the joker i don't know yet how i treat you depends on how you treat me first do you wanna know how i got this tattoo i'm so cool spend earth day throwing an axe at a tree i i gotta think this is funny i like throwing my axe on a tree it's a good way to relieve steam man nothing wrong with that one it's not cool it's just fun i love the look on people's face when they talk to me like i'm some lunatic and then i tell them how much education i have and i randomly tell them about a job experience because i've done everything or randomly throw in one of my hundred hobbies or skills or just start freestyle rapping yo i'm so cool um very bad donkey how about you i'm the best rapper yeah it's my hit song totally gonna hit a million plays in a night just know if you're friends with me i've ranked you based on your skills as to how useful you will be after the grid goes down oh jesus christ is one of these it doesn't change our friendship now but just know i have lists of team a b team c team and deadweight yeah you're not special you're just a dick i'm still a kid 12 and i understand the villain more than my hero maybe because i am one mom took away my ps4 and i'm angry now watch out mom watch out my wife doesn't have to worry about our finances just as if we lived 500 years ago she wouldn't have to worry about eating or staying warm i am the hunter gritty with a steady hand i will always make the kill i make fun of everyone and everything i make fun of religions races height weight and a bunch of other stuff if you can't handle that don't get pissy either unfriend me or grow some balls pretty uh pretty epic sentence from someone watching spongebob actually i really really like spongebob i don't care what you say lol you can't cook okay do you know 10 ways to immobilize or destroy a tank with household items no i didn't think so did i mention that i'm in faze clan funny i went in with my own pen and tried to vote and they ripped it out of my hand and tried to give me a sharpie so i took it and it snapped it in half got the dude's face and told him to give me my pen back before he ended up on the ground i got my pen back then i got a dip in my lip oh i bully people too i'm with you show us a pic then hero here i'll go first 40 years old 5 10 180 pounds father two bench my body weight for three for reps three days a week how many reps the other days are for legs and abs and my wife who's still in her twenties by the way can scrub the whites on my obliques but to be fair i had killed men on three continents likely before you knew how to read but hey healthy at any size am i right what are you talking about dude wow you bench oh you bench 180 three times a week oh so impressive i'm weak as hell and i can do that you're not cool i'm not cool either but i don't brag about being cool online know this about me i'm not what you are used to i am a rare breed you may think you want me but you can handle the essence of what i really am you may think you can handle me but how deep into the abyss are you willing to go the abyss is a good movie you may think you want to be my opposer but are you ready to die ask yourself do you really know rare breed alpha male hashtag my father's son hashtag you have no idea hashtag wolf spirit hashtag you don't know me trending soul is dark if this were to happen if anybody and i mean anybody touches my stuff then they'll end up in the yard with a popped lung and liver cancer how are you gonna give them liver cancer wait wait wait go back i can understand popping along you break a rib and then your lung pops that happens all the time that happened to me once when i was little i almost died but how are you going to cause them liver cancer are you god are you a deity who like dispenses cancer what are you doing with your life dude think about things you say are you an amiibo reseller just be upfront and honest please i just seen this now are you freaking kidding me i wasn't a combat marine so i could home and answer the freaking trends like that that was my 70 000 ford f-150 raptor target the morning you missed majora's mask what people do with these money toy is none of your freaking business go get yourself scumbag i can't wait to see you again i was asking because of a post you made but damn what an overreaction i just wanted some amoebas i just wanted some amiibos i just wanted some people amiibos damn it you ever just like try and speak in your brain just like it just happens man every single person who says that they defend themselves or slap someone are all bullcrap i tolerate a lot but i can tolerate that and i'm like a feral cat touch me and you're on the floor on conscience shut the frick up that's the cringiest freaking thing i've ever read oh buddy you haven't seen the rest of these posts i've read them all i've seen the cringiest the internet has to offer bring it on boys let me see something cringy in the comments when i was 10 i was caught stealing gum i got cornered and begging didn't work so i punched the 20 to 25 year old security guard in the weak spot below the rib cage when he wasn't looking and he fell on the floor and was out of breath and i went away my elementary school friend saw this and thought i was the biggest butt kicker in no hulk i'm a mentoring school beating up adult bullies and i suck a punch a 30 year old security guard when i was 12 and he took my friend's skateboard oh my god i was always very good at aiming for weak spots i aim my knuckles white in his temple only way a 12 year old can really reliably knock down a full-grown man after wall it kind of stuck around and got exaggerated i had an interesting reputation in high school stories got twisted to the point where people were saying crap like in this great fighter friends telling bullies not to mess with me since i was beating up older people than me since i was still in elementary school in middle school lmao i was above average as i uh as i as i was oh always interested in my to watch i have a stutter by the way but the way my friends tweeted me because of that crap and however more spread people believed i was three to four times stronger than i really am hahaha i'm totally an adult now god that hurt my brain to read am i the only one whose brain hurts after that please tell me i'm not the only one i would have survived that baby knife cut i guess i'm just built different i'm built different and then like some person with a noodle arm on the tick tock does the exact same thing with the eggs i'm built different maybe i'll make a tick tock one day lol uh i'm a 34 year old man and a medically retired fighter man with osteoarthritis a word i cougar doesn't know how to say and in my back and neck and bad shoulders and i was a younger man i did nothing but fist fight i never lost nor have i ever been knocked down and i punched very hard and very accurate those fighting i know the first video are an embarrassment oh my god i'm sorry i can't finish this one my brain just hurts so much from this guy's lack of grammar put a period in somewhere and use capital eyes please i don't give two fricks about my friends or my family check out my sweet fnf friday night funkin profile pic i doodled it myself by tracing why do you let people bully you lmao i don't i just don't want to unleash my demon on them this morning on my way to work i caught a big macho alpha male yelling and screaming obscenities at a woman at the store without even thinking i flipped into marine corps mode got in his face used my ti voice and that piece of crap splunk away like a coward frick that crap i am a marine hurrah hurrah i'm badass nothing against marines dude but this guy's obviously lying why do you gotta lie online no one cares oh you're a hero congrats just real heroes don't brag about it online buddy remember if i keep being rude you will lose my temper and i will beat you up and i will not regret even if they expel me from school lmao ah that's funny dude i'll see you in school well well well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions hey everyone i'm at the hospital i got my rifle out for pictures with my daughter's prom date last night but he was also caring and i didn't realize it was a joke long story short he freaking shot me they had a beautiful evening and i should make a full recovery in six to 13 months now what's real intimidating being tied up in a freaking basement for freaking with my family what what's going on here i'm so lost i'm gonna i'm gonna go join this facebook page to see what it's about this is why i beat up catholics those chums ought to stay on the irish side of town where they belong hashtag proud protest our slash i am very badass no you aren't little boy i am i am big strong irish beating up man look at me go is this religious or like racism i can't tell honestly it's just dumb a lot of people are both males but not born men i'm a man nobody freaks on me nobody freaks my money and nobody freaks my family and i drive a sweet old pickup truck you're the type of kid that would have turned sideways as i walk down the hallways as i keep my shoulders square oh poor thing sorry to bring up that memory oh wait now you're doing the same to your boss who is me uh yeah macho man randy savage walking down the hallways cause i'm the cream of the crowd better think twice be stealing my bike just saying yeah dude i'd shoot someone if they stole my bike too if i got the opportunity murderer on my mind ymw millie people hearing this song that's creepy me holding two knives in each hand and dancing like a creep who want to kill everyone [Laughter] i it hurts my brain that 182 people liked your comment i met some girl on discord on the 13th of this month me and her were talking about anime and the types of shows we watched i was interested to know if she did what i did i sometimes think about killing people she does too even went on to tell me how she wouldn't feel bad for killing anyone not even her parents then she told me get this how she wanted to kill someone before she dies me too i think after that she was like it doesn't matter you're not gonna tell the cops that kind of left me shook even though she was right she then went on to ask if i tell her and her if she killed someone i said why would i gaff about who you killed she said liked me probably as in someone she knows aina snitch after that and told me to stick around i'm still in contact with what the hell are you even talking about i got lost halfway through this one i used to be a real criminal i kicked down people's doors and robbed their houses i stole from cars and garages stores dealerships ran from cops more times than i can count i led a small gang of criminals to commit strings of felonies with me i've stolen more in my life than most people will earn in 10 years i've even put people in the hospital despite my size i have insane one hit ko power baby now i sit at home and raise my daughter trying my best to live a peaceful quiet life i work and clean and try my best not to be a crappy dad no one ever thought i would have my own place and a vehicle and keep it or raise a child by myself cause i'm just that cool i only do the single life over here now i don't wanna slap winnie i do wanna drag his butt out of the hundred acre wood and stab him four to seven times in the chest with a dull spoon though if you wanted to cause pain it would be better to slowly peel the skin off um i just want to say you're an idiot if you try and stab a bear with a dull spoon because you're gonna end up like leonardo dicaprio in the revenant these guys balance strength and agility cute maybe next freaking level uh no as a purple bell in taekwondo it's honestly sad to see mainstream media glorifying such amateur displays of athleticism yeah dude i've been a cheerleader for like three years when i went to school this is not easy i can't do this no one can do this it's hard test me i dare you break into my house harass my family i won't use warning shots because ammo is too expensive i will call an ambulance so your book can rot in jail though don't frick with me or my family cause i will end you i promise that's right daryl you didn't give me the proper change so i'm gonna teach you a lesson being treated and made fun of my entire life for being white i've become extremely tough and all of you seem so soft and your smug prejudice ironic that you want to learn to fight for me now went running errands yesterday four times sized up by gym rat mexican oh jesus gym rat mexicans who believe i don't belong in my own hometown keep poking the tiger though khep you have no idea what i can do you can get zero likes on that post that's what you can do i kill people i like some of them beg for their life i don't feel sad i don't feel anything cause my soul is black like the sun i mean the night i mean the moon shut up listen here you little crap you're only tough here when i can't reach you you wouldn't say that crap to my face you would be destroyed so freaking hard i would take your life without hesitation i already know where you live this was just a test let's see if you're as tough as here when i come i've got a beast caged inside me real and i'm about to let it loose and rip your freaking shreds kid looks at you angrily eyes turning red from rage next time don't be such a snitch online and don't freak with real men that's what you sound like right now bud yo i once curb stomped a hobo but i don't want to talk about that so lol that's a felony sir you deserve to be in jail i used to pull my gun out on mfs because i can't say the swear word when they messed up my crab had to stop when they got the cops involved one time and they let me off with a warning because they knew the type of dangerous word i can't say i was in it here you all go again down voting do that crap make y'all feel superior or something what do you gain from it nothing unlike me who's got a gat strapped to my waist every day over here why'd my accent change like mid-sentence i don't know i'm just excited i got a new booth everybody doesn't it sound great heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid i would take over our slash i'm very bad donkey yes you are little buddy yes you are darkness fun fact if you get in my way i'll kill will will you uh i'm the infidel allah warns you about okay then buddy anyone who attempts to human traffic and does it in my sight i will personally human traffic you to the river and dump you off a bridge i agree with that statement hope everyone else does the same it's such an invisible crime so we all need to keep our eyes out and protect our women uh human trafficking happens to all people if i see someone human trafficking do the right thing call the police or throw the man off a bridge that's what human traffickers deserve they don't deserve life but uh it's not just about women bud i also hate romance even a hint of romance can make me despise the show if i really like something and a girl comes into the picture that likes their mc i will absolutely despise her over here i will drop the show completely i will even have fantasies of torturing her for years and years making her watch as i kill her close ones giving her a shred of false hope of escape every year until i finally give her a slow death i hate 99.99 of anime that have a shred of romance the 0.00 for some reason i just really love asuna for some reason everything about her her loyalty to kirito her lack of power and control over him she's my waifu and i will beat up kitty torikena okay then buddy maybe tone back on the anime just go watch some dragon ball z then i don't know what to tell you poor murder you are i wish death daily on all the psychopath sociopath murderers word i can't say racist and self-proclaimed elites all of them people wishing for the deaths of those that make the world a worse place for others is not a bad thing also if the person did die well then that's just natural selection nothing more nothing less nah natural selection told you not to get any upvotes that's for sure oh and look you got a little down vote did you do it yourself after you realized how stupid you sounded yeah yeah you did frick this mask and the [ __ ] suckers that require it so yesterday i was out driving around and pulled up to the stoplight next to a guy in an older bmw he looked at me laughed and gave me a thumbs down he then proceeded to tell me i'm driving a piece of crap that's when the lights turned green and after that i just saw him in the rearview mirrors you got 37 likes on that that's pretty impressive not gonna lie you don't get it you're messing with the wrong guy i hope you know you and your uk self better understand that when you mess with someone you don't know you're entering into a black hole buddy and i live in that black hole oh that's quite funny oh slash i am very badass also i like to enter your black hole if you know what i mean come on baby don't freak with me buddy i got a summarized sword i got this from the walmarts yeah yeah that's a sweet la snap back you got there buddy my daughter likes a boy in school so i'm picking her up and taking them to lunch wow you're so cool widget oh look i bet you skipped leg day you definitely skipped leg day not just that you're bringing that gun to a school are you an idiot well if you've made it this far i'd say you're pretty cool not like these jumps anyways it would mean a lot if you could like comment subscribe check out the other videos on this channel mk easy peasy which is this channel i said that twice and of course daily anyways have a great day be good people and stay safe out there everyone

Channel: EzPz

Views: 36,788

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Iamverybadass

Id: loNiWDhinFo

Length: 19min 45sec (1185 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 16 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/I_Am_Hamilton]

Not to be rude but kid in thumbnail looks like he got sh*t on his face