r/Technicallythetruth · DON'T CUT IT!!1

my first breath breathing addiction gosh darn it hello everyone this is your daily dose of easy peasy i'm your narrator david the baker and today we're gonna be taking a look at our slash technically the truth i'm sure you guys are ready for the video so without further ado let's go you've aged i made a birthday cake for my boyfriend but i forgot how old he was turning well i mean this is a good compromise i mean i know it just says you've aged which kind of seems mean but i mean it's it's true you have aged so yeah can anyone help me remove those bikes from the background done oh i mean to be fair he did get rid of the bikes so i mean you got what you wish for our death ray doesn't seem to be working i'm standing right in it and i'm not dead yet ah yes a true scientist okay so you could say it doesn't work or maybe you could say that the death ray takes a lifetime to work i mean either way it's technically the truth you telling me julius caesar who has been dead for well over 70 years made this salad technically you aren't wrong with that number but i just hate it hate it if you will but they're right i mean julius caesar has been dead for over 70 years just like i can say that the universe is over 5 years old would you take a 50 50 chance at 5 million or death why or why not well yeah either way i won't have to go to work tomorrow ah now you see this person is big braining it that's the way you should be thinking tested positive for being an overthinker dick maybe i'm over thinking but aren't these pictures backwards no no stop right there you're overthinking it i mean you're right they are backwards but you're overthinking working as security at samsung store eh guardian of the galaxy oh now that's a better name friday the 13th what's next saturday the 14th yes if you buy a bigger bed you have more bedroom but less bedroom wait oh no you're right oh man people associate wearing glasses with being smart but you have to fail a test to get them hell they even let you look at the answers i mean true they let you look at the answers and you still get them wrong how could these people be smart to be fair i mean i have glasses and i'm a complete idiot so you know there's that hi can you remove the pole in front of me james fridman sure oh no it collapsed hey can you make me as tall as he is sure just gonna dig a hole and put him in here and then boom find the angle oh well this one's 180 degrees listen here you little [ __ ] i don't know why you're booing him he's right it's his favorite spot in the whole house oh poor shark has a loose canine literally get it because a canine is a tooth but it's also referencing the dog who's honest to it's a funny joke are you guys laughing why aren't you laughing what is this it's an insect what kind a green one yes but what is it called harold yeah leave harold alone he's just being a green insect on the wall just let harold live his life what's a story that isn't from greek mythology but feels like it is roman mythology i want to say something but damn it they're right enjoy your heartbeat some people woke up and didn't have one today but then then how did they wake up this fire alarm was installed on the ceiling i think they meant the date i don't know i mean the smoke detector is on the ceiling so they're still correct speed has never killed anyone suddenly becoming stationary now that's what gets you jeremy clarkson ah you see jeremy knows what's up he probably speeds on the highway every day because again speeding is not the problem floating ships spotted off the coast of cork well to be fair all ships float that's the point no but this ship is actually floating like like i know all ships float but this is different what does sophie want for christmas oh she loves anything frozen let it go let it go okay 42 fish fingers bro did you really just give them fish i was going to go on to the next meme but i'm sorry 42 frozen fish come on i pissed off the i.t guy and he said he was going to give me a black eye and i laughed looks like he put me in my place touche i.t guy i get it a black eye hey i don't mean to be that guy but the eye is technically white ah dang it you're right i was gonna say something but no you you you're absolutely correct one nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day uh uh yes yes because it is a nuclear bomb it can ruin your whole life to be fair whoa this is what the electoral map would have looked like if we accidentally used the same color for republicans and democrats bro that's so sick if my son came out as transgender i wouldn't have a son no no you wouldn't you'd have a whatever your child identifies as you see this guy's not being transphobic he's being inclusive i hope at least facebook type password me password facebook your password is incorrect me incorrect facebook try again me again facebook all right listen here buddy we can't do this all day on december 28 2019 donald trump became the first cast member of home alone 2 to be impeached by the u.s house of representatives i love how they say he's the first cast member like there's going to be other cast members to be impeached meet without feet or you could just call it fish you know like a normal person the best label for an lan cable cut here to activate firewall yep that'll definitely do it you can give a man a fish and then teach him to fish you know and it's a lot easier to learn how to fish when you're not starving ah you see so give the man a fish and then teach him it's simple any series movies related to cooking no master chef or no ratatouille breaking bad oh yeah breaking bad will definitely teach you how to cook maybe not food but you know why is there a coyote on a bus because they can't drive duh well this is a little strange oh i'm not gonna lie i really like this costume would you guys like to see the most unique rare and blessed picture i've ever taken moth day oh it's his day now this would be funny except there's no punch line haha get it because there's no punch line this is totally not gen x humor kill me please boys if your girl looks like this she's a keeper a a goalkeeper get it get get the joke are you getting tired of these puns yeah well too bad you can't spell hero without her yeah well you can't spell her without he oh no checkmate what's on your mind someone made up dinosaur sounds without ever hearing them oh that's true we never actually heard dinosaur sounds so we just assume that they go when in reality they might sound like like we have no idea what is a successful woman without a husband a successful woman without a husband you literally just said it what is a person from london called oh no it's kin b my neighbor is from london and he is called rob come on ken get out of here go to your own subreddit blow my mind hmm when you are the oldest person alive the whole world population has been replaced completely and you're the only one left oh that's that's so sad elder scrolls ah rest in peace to the old scrolling bars they will be missed what was a perfectly normal situation for you in the 80s or 90s that the younger generation just can't relate to getting to feed the horse before the carriage ride to the neighborhood smallpox party with my 15 brothers and sisters truly delightful uh hey bro that's that's the 1880s op didn't specify which 80s i mean true but dude how old are you what was cool when you were young but isn't cool now daniel holland says earth i get it because climate change is making the world hotter haha we're all going to be suffering in 12 years is the bike still for sale yes it is what's the lowest you'll go on it two miles an hour anything less than that and you'll tip over ah kind of a stale meme at this point but you know i'll allow it the dinosaurs didn't rule the earth they were just alive stop giving them credit for administrative skills they almost certainly didn't have i mean if the dinosaurs were so good how come they're all dead exactly please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk if they have avocados get six hey they had avocados so i got six cartons of milk uh what do you mean we're getting a divorce saw a book called how to solve fifty percent of your problems so i bought two books you idiot buy one book and then read it twice it'll save you money hawaiians have read it what are your feelings about hawaiian pizza when you live in hawaii all pizza is hawaiian pizza even without the ham and pineapple okay that's fair fair enough shower thought i'm naked the odd ones out i don't think you get this whole shower thought thing but you know what you tried area 51 ooh mysterious volume 51. oh now this is what's up flying doesn't scare me because aviation has a 100 record every aircraft that has gone in the air has to come down not one aircraft has ever been stranded in the sky ever hey i mean that's true with ships they get lost at sea they could sink but a plane always comes down we take it for granted today but a single dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his entire lifetime wouldn't it just be so cool if we could give a dorito to somebody in the olden days i'm sure their heads would explode the single greatest wikipedia edit of all time piper kerr a member of the scottish national antarctic expedition plays the bagpipes for an indifferent penguin and then it's edited to piper kerr the one on the right is a member of the scottish national antarctic expedition you see when you just put piper kerr people could assume it's the penguin i'm glad they made this right an extreme close-up of the sun the most detailed picture of a star we've ever taken lol forbidden fur seriously though are you a freaking satellite yes i orbit the sun every 365 days wait does that mean we're all satellites he has no legs and climbs everest what's your excuse well his legs won't hurt mine will ah see perfect excuse when i take 20 people to watch an 18 plus movie but they won't let us in what are you talking about i mean sure we're all 12 years old but there's 20 of us that's way more than 18. world's oldest person breaks her own record by turning 117. i mean hey that's incredible but how unfortunate that you're back to being a teenager i mean sure it's 117 but it's still a teen what we see the color spectrum what animals with a larger color range than rc well sure but because we're humans we can't see anything different you know people treat me like a god how they ignore my existence until they need something from me yep i'm just gonna spam the f button here a woman never dresses to impress men she dresses up to irritate other women to impress men you don't have to wear anything yeah you know just throw away the clothes in general it's all you gotta do to impress me baby i'm sorry for that voice i i don't know what it was but i promise i'll never do that voice again a perfectly good train superman a kid superman could have just grabbed and flown away with no no don't you understand superman had a hit out for this train he didn't care about the kid he just wanted to disable the train do you think nirvana would have been popular if it had formed today if nirvana were formed today they probably wouldn't even have a single song written let alone be popular why because they only just form today up you know you got a point you know you just can't beat that logic what is a pirate's favorite element in the periodic table ah let me guess arg no gold why the f would a pirate need argon you know what this deserves a down vote i don't know what you mean the punchline was gold literally mom did you want a daughter or a son i wanted to i mean hey she's honest and with that everyone that's our time i hope you enjoyed this episode of r slash technically the truth if you liked this video make sure to support the channel by leaving a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads i'm your narrator david the baker and if you want to hear more from me my channel link is down in the description below i can't wait to see you all in the next video so till then peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 280,049

Rating: 4.9339705 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicalythetruth emkay, emkay, r/technicallythetruth ezpz, ezpz, ez pz

Id: TTmTxkvZIa8

Length: 11min 54sec (714 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 17 2021