r/EntitledParents + r/Relationships - Disgusting Entitled Father DOES WHAT?

g'day there guys i want to speak to your manager back at it again with another episode of r entitled parents now if you enjoyed today's content i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy today's bloody karen stories posted by user sweet baguettes titled friend's dad tried to steal my bra claims that i stole it from his wife and then friend finds the stash of her other friends undergarments so anyway before we get into the story my friend's dad was then divorced turns out he was a child predator with loads of cp on his laptop and is in jail and on top of that had about five restraining orders after the friends and the friend's parents he stole bras and panties from okay how i found this out was at my friend's birthday sleepover we were swimming in her pool and we drank some wine coolers with her mum's supervision of course but it's still illegal but we didn't get drunk just slightly tipsy so anyway friend's dad had a strict no locked doors policy anyway i decided to take a shower so i of course locked the door i was bathing in my friend's bathroom so i had her bedroom door shut and the bathroom door locked if that makes sense so i heard my friend's bedroom door open as i shouted occupied out of the shower i got no response except the door shutting quickly which i thought was just one of the other girls walking in and seeing that i was in there anyway i stepped out of the shower and i stayed in the bathroom while i changed and dried off all of a sudden the bedroom door opens again and when i say occupied the person didn't stop and went straight for the bathroom door as they jiggled the handle extremely violently and pounded on the door once i stayed silent as i thought there was someone in the house trying to get to me ten seconds later i hear her dad's voice yell open this damn door right fudging now i'm already changing the clean clothes as i stayed silent and slowly open the door why the hell is this door locked he shouted as i apologized and explained i was showering and i wanted privacy but he said that was no excuse i pushed that aside as i thought he was in a bad mood or something happened and he couldn't do anything because the door was locked i stuffed my dirty clothes into my bag as i went back to the party which we were all settling down with sleeping bags since the living room was big enough for us i set my bag right next to me as i have some valuable stuff in the bag phone charger money id etc we watched movies up until four in the morning which is when we started to go to sleep i got a strange feeling about being watched so i stayed up for another hour on my phone i fell asleep as about an hour later i hear rustling next to my head i opened my eyes to see my friend's dad squatting next to me rumbling through my bag as he pulled out my dirty bra and underwear as he stood up i screamed at the top of my lungs as everyone woke up my stuff was everywhere as the friend's dad quickly dropped my stuff i screamed what the frick are you doing at him as everyone saw what he did and saw him drop my stuff he tried to defend himself as his wife came rushing in i was making sure you didn't have any drugs was the excuse that he went with i ran over to the wife and explained what happened as the dad was saying that i am a lying skank and that i forced him to hold my stuff he was high or on crack or one of the other as the husband was moved to a different room and i explained to the friend what her dad did and she told someone else and i guess it spread around everyone was panicking as they were all making sure the men didn't take their panties and bras then i heard the husband scream she stole your underwear and so i called the police then 10 seconds later i hear the wife scream as it was just a crap show we all ran over to her to make sure she was all right as everything started to go to chaos girls were crying and panicking because he had an area which his wife didn't know about and there was name tags for each underwear pile like cindy's underwear fake name and there was stains on one of them the police arrived and we explained to them what had happened as he was taken away about a few months later i went to court as my parents were pressing charges and i explained what happened and we won the case then about another few months go by and i was talking to my same friend and she said her parents had gotten a divorce and that her dad was in jail for cp and harassment i have terrible spelling and grammar issues as i'm not good and typing in english especially with longer stories like this i type and speak french edits i talk to their friends and it turns out that her dad brought the wine coolers trying to get us drunk and her mother saved us from who knows what because she cut us off from the wine coolers after like two drinks who knows what would have happened if we were all passed out drunk another read it so i was talking again to the friend and this is basically what happened after the court and was sent to jail he's still in jail and was put into protective custody in the prison at the beginning because and i quote he's screwed with little kids so the prisoners are gonna screw him even harder but later was removed for trying to smuggle contraband the other part is that his daughter 16 now went to visit him with her mother just to disown him as her father and when he arrived at the little phone booth thing she said that half his hair was pulled out he was bruised his uniform was dirty with who knows what and he could barely walk it was the beatings he got or other things i'm not going to read that out the rest of the girls there i don't really know but i talked to a few of them about a month ago and 12 13 is doing fine the 13th one isn't bad but isn't good she has night terrors from it and has a service dog to help posted by user slender n679 titled entitled mother tells a volunteer that he is fired first of all english isn't my first language so expect some grammar errors but feel free to point them out so two or three years ago i was 13 my school asked all the students if they wanted to do volunteering for a food bank and i said yes on the day that i did volunteering i was alone with the teachers at the little stand that we had while everyone else was at the entrances of the supermarket giving bags for the people to fill with food the idea was for them to deliver the bags at the stand but most people gave them to my friends in the entrances so i had to go there from time to time to take them from the stands we all had shirts saying that we were volunteers but i had a jacket over it because it was cold one of the times i went to one of the entrances the shopping cart that i used to transport the bags was totally full and when i was going back to the stand entitled mother gets close to me with two full bags of food and the conversation begins entitled mother says here take them giving me the bags and i say sorry but my card is full i don't care take them sorry but i already told you that my card is full leave the bags there with my fri entitled mother cuts me off and starts screaming catching everyone's attention i know the manager of your company for a long time so take my bags now or else i will get you fired my friends who were close started laughing at her me after reading many slash entitled parent stories i knew where this was going so i say okay then call him she makes a fake call and says he says you're fired well the problem is i take off my jacket and show her my shirt saying volunteer with big letters on my back and then i just walk away while everyone around laughs at her thank you for reading and have a nice day posted by user let's not meet bb titles entitled parents think i need to give up everything so their daughters don't feel bad hey so i have tons of stories from this family and still live in the neighborhood and honestly try to avoid her every second that i can i'm 21 now female and her daughters are 23 and 21 5 months younger than myself respectively we will call entitled mother karen daughter 23 taylor and 21 caitlyn changed names so they moved into the neighborhood when i was three taylor was four or five and caitlyn was three and at first i was friends with entitled daughters they irritated me though but you know that's life and when there's kids to play with around your age in your neighborhood you take it flash forward and we are all in elementary school and have the same bus stop there are about eight to ten kids at this stop and it's always a race to be first in line now entitled family is kind of a mess and the daughters would always be sprinting up to the streets while the rest of us tried to get the bus driver to wait for them late as always didn't bother me though so one day entitled family gets to the bus stop a few minutes before the bus and the rest of us kids are already in there in line i happen to be the first that day and i'm talking to another one of my friends at the stop who is second caitlyn walks up to us and says hi can i cut you i want to be first today i say no i'm first today maybe get here first tomorrow and you can be first tomorrow i tell her caitlyn starts crying and runs to her mother i continue my conversation because this girl always cries and i just couldn't be bothered to care then karen walks up and says excuse me but caitlyn deserves to be first today let her go in front of you no i'm first well caitlyn deserves it she never gets to be the first and so you should let her it's only fair no she needs to get here first to be first i told her maybe tomorrow she can be karen walks away with caitlyn and i hear her telling her some bible verse about the last shall be first and how i'm going to hell for not sharing that's just one incident here's another this one featuring entitled dad who we will call dan i'm playing with the same neighborhood friend from the line let's call her sam i'd say i'm seven and she's nine here so sam and i are playing a game in her driveway when taylor comes down the street to see what we are doing we tell her i remember we had made up some play where we were wizards or something not too sure anyways she tells us that's dumb and that she doesn't want to play that so we say okay then don't play with us and we continue playing she goes home five minutes later dan comes down the street and walks up sam's driveway he calls us over and being kids responding to adults we head over to see what's up i hear you're excluding my daughter ladies you know that's unacceptable actually we told her she could play but she said she didn't want to play our game sam tries to explain well then change your game so she can play he yells at us i will not have selfish kids making my daughter cry and i will tell your mother you and excluding her if you don't play something taylor wants long story short because we were terrified of this ex-army monstrosity of a dad we changed our game reluctantly things like this happen so often it's hard to count he terrified us i guess i'll do one more although i have dozens in my mind this time i'm about 13. i've always been a good student and made straight a's i also suffer from extreme anxiety and during this time i was super skinny because i physically couldn't get myself to eat due to this anxiety taylor and caitlin have always been bigger girls which has been no big deal they also were c and b students but again who cares well entitled parents did i was over at their house one day just watching a movie and they invited me to eat dinner with them we all sat down at the table and began to eat entitled parents karen and dan look at each other and dan asks me how are your grades doing you're doing well in math i hear not wanting to be rude i tell him yes i'm doing well but say no more he then asks well what are your grades i tell him all a's and he looks at karen i think you should let our girls have your homework or do their homework for them after all you're supposed to be in caitlyn's grade so you probably should do her work i had skipped a grade so i was in the level directly between the two daughters entitled parents continued to pester me about cheating their girls to better grades and i told them i didn't feel comfortable with that entitled kids started saying that i had to help them because we were neighbors and i owed them this whole family seems to think that where you live dictates who you help which i don't agree with either way i refused and they finally let it go i then reached for another taco as they were good and i was hungry karen looks at me and says how do you stay so skinny and eat like that i immediately drew my hand back in shame she continues my daughters deserve to look like you i make them eat less and they are still fat you're making them feel uncomfortable by eating so much i didn't eat again for the rest of the night i went home and told my mom what happened she then went to talk to entitled parents about it the next day and they told her i was lying she knew they were lying as the whole family was full of crap but decided to avoid the drama and just walked away in short this family decided that because i was their neighbor and objectively better than their daughters i had to do everything i could to make them be like me taylor ended up in later years going psycho and bullying me to the point i still have ptsd and caitlyn is a pathological liar turned out to be real peaches they did posted by user latina cinderella titled rocker entitled parents refuses to believe freddie mercury was bisexual this one happened last year but every time i remember i can't stop laughing it was june aka pride month and i was in one of those independent bookstores music stores looking through the book novelties when i heard shouting coming from the music section my inner gossiper took over me and i decided to see what was going on picture this a middle-aged man using sunglasses and a black leather jacket shouting to a poor store employee at his side a teenager that looked like she wanted the earth to swallow her hole and a very distracted child looking at some colorful album covers he was saying something like this why is this here stop trying to make everything freaking gay what is it with this stupid gay invasion stop ruining everything what was the problem you ask well the store had a special pride vinyl display with its center being four queen albums which our entitled parent was furiously pointing at cue to the next conversation i don't remember all of it so i'm just writing the main points store employee says sir freddie mercury is one of the most influential gay artists in history stop lying do you know who is mary austin the freaking love of his life the current owner of his mansion she who owns half of the queen royalties mercury was no gay you idiot dad he was he lived with a man his whole life can we just go well that's a stupid history some greedy gay guy made because he wanted money and fame and all the other dump queers followed you need to take this down right now sir i can't do that and if you continue acting this way i will call security i won't leave this store until you stop redisrespecting rock music the guy was red and you could see his forehead veins okay i'm leaving and calling mum you can embarrass her yourself alone bro come the girl took the little kid and basically ran out of there i am sure the father wanted to continue fighting but when he saw the daughter going away he went right behind her the poor store employee looked so defeated and i could see how he asked for a break to his manager i was there for about 15 minutes and then left with some books not the dad nor the daughter came back in at that time so i don't know what happened to them i'm just hoping he didn't take his shouting to another store thanks for reading guys posted by user adrian kj 2001 titled my dad makes us give him our underwear so he can figure out which of one of us clogged the toilets i'm not sure this one belongs on this sub but i'm still really shaken up by it and i need to put this somewhere people will actually read it my dad has had a few quote unquote incidents in the past including yelling at an amtrak employee and insulting me and my sister but this was by far his worst one my dad discovered that the toilet was clogged in the morning he asked me and my sister who did it and neither of us did so we said no he told us that he knew it was one of us because there's blood in the toilet and no one else here gets periods please note that while i am a-fab neither of my sisters arai were on our period he at first just grounded us to our rooms but the more we didn't see anything the angrier and more entitled that he got he proceeded to force us to stand in the hall outside of the restroom until one of us confessed saying that he deserved answers we were not allowed to leave to use the other bathroom or to get something to eat we were not allowed to talk or sit down he periodically went by and interrogated us stepping into our personal space and trying to intimidate us this went on for about one to two hours maybe longer at one point he was interrogating us and i started crying and hyperventilating he scoffed and said you wouldn't be crying if you were innocent he then got up in my face and stared me down i closed my eyes he was so close i could feel his breath on my face eventually he scoffed again and went away my sister and i whispered to each other telling each other that we didn't do it we debated just having one of us confess anyway but decided that we would face him together truthfully another 15 minutes goes by and my dad comes back he tells us that since neither of us would tell him who did it we would have to change out of our underwear and he'd inspect it for blood and whoever was on their period was the one who clogged the toilet i'm sorry what i initially refused but i was too scared to do anything except softly say no he got even more ticked and said that if i didn't he'd take it as an admission of guilt i know you guys are probably expecting me to put up a fight but at this point i was starving and just wanted it over with so i could eat so me and my sister complied i wasn't wearing any underwear it was a sunday morning and i was in my pajamas so he made me put on a pair of his pants so he could look at mine he inspected and obviously found nothing because neither of us were on our periods he then decides that instead of him god forbid being wrong about something we must be using tampons and that's why there was no blood question mark i suggested that maybe someone had cut themselves shaving he glared at me and said in an incredibly condescending voice really that's what you think happened eventually my brother came home and my dad gave up and let us go citing some bull crap like you now have permission to go make food i'm not sure if it was because he came to his senses or because he didn't want to punish us like that in front of other people but i really didn't care i was just glad that nothing else happened and i could go hide under my covers in my bedroom and cry i didn't end up eating breakfast that day and he basically ignored us the rest of the time that we were there posted by user tb72 titled entitled mom tells me she lives in my house after refusing to leave my property em is entitled mum c d is chill dad lb is little brats so i live on a river and it's a very popular place during the summer i have some riverfront property and my house looks onto the river across the street i have always had problems with people littering and destroying my review front property so i try to make it look secluded but this made it worse usually i would just have to tell people that they are on private property and point at the several signs and they would leave but some people are different well today we had a different person at around 12 45 i saw entitled mother and little boy waltz right onto my property right past the two no trespassing signs at first i thought they didn't see the signs and so i went down to tell them how it's private property i say hey man could you please go somewhere else to swim what no we got here first um that's not my problem well then leave us alone but this is private property yeah i know and she points at the sign so could you leave ah no and then she rolls her eyes but even you said its private property at this point i was getting really frustrated because she even admits that it was private property but what she said next made me ticked she's like yeah i own this property can't you see my house and she points at my house lady that's my house now leave before i call the police i take a step closer hoping that she'll back off i couldn't be more wrong get away from my son you pedo i had no words for this so i called the police the police show up and start talking to us pio is police officer and they say so what's the problem sir this man is trespassing and trying to take advantage of my son police officer looks at me with that sorry man look and i reciprocate i say look lady i have my keys on me so if you want to try to say that's your house we can test it out now ugh that's stupid i don't need to prove anything well i'll go show the police that i live there me police officer and entitled mother with little boy walk up to my house and i open the door with my key and unlock my car in the driveway entitled mother tells the police officer that i stole her keys and he tells her to leave edits i've been getting a lot of questions about chill dad i forgot to mention his parts but here it is entitled mother called chill dad trying to get him to confirm to the police officer that they lived in my house he told her to let it go and leave he then picked them up the end g'day there guys it's your main man marky back at it again with another episode of r slash entitled people now if you love today's stories i want you to tell me what you think of them down in the comments sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy today's content posted by user fred zed read titled my entitled mother sits in the smoking area and gets offended that people are smoking i have the pleasure of having karen as a mother i'm older now and am no longer in contact with her this happened when i was a teenager about 15 years old 2005. so we went for lunch at a cafe that we went to all the time we ordered our drinks and food and went outside to wait at this cafe there were two outside areas a smoking area and a non-smoking area karen decided to sit in the smoking area she is very against smoking and i warned her that this was the smoking area but she was having none of it a few minutes later a small group came into the area and began smoking of course karen had a problem with it karen talking loudly to me so that the group would heal her says oh my gosh what's with the smoking this is a family establishment i can't believe these people mom let's just go to the non-smoking area then no i'm not moving i was here first they should move the group either didn't hear her or were ignoring her because they gave no reaction karen directed at the group says um excuse me would you mind not puffing your smoke directly at me this is very disrespectful she was acting like they were facing her and purposely blowing smoke in her face newsflash they weren't men this is the smoking area we're allowed to smoke here no you're not i'll have you thrown out of here for disrespecting me she got up and went inside i apologized to the group while she was gone a few minutes later she came back with the manager in tow these inconsiderate people have been blowing smoke in my face and swearing at me i want them removed right now ma'am this is the smoking area they're allowed to smoke here as for the offensive language i cut in and said they weren't swearing or doing anything wrong mum stop it well if that's the case ma'am i can seat you somewhere else no we aren't moving make them move i had had enough of this so i went inside to get away from this my mum did this all the time and i was sick of it mom stormed inside a few minutes later and said opie we're leaving this is disgusting customer service we are never coming back these threats were very common for my mum and she never stuck to the threats at the misfortune of the staff at these places we lived in a small town with two cafes the other one being way too expensive for my choosing beggar mother to ever go to i am no longer in contact with my mum she lives in another country and doesn't know my address i'm just grateful that i no longer have to put up with her entitlements thanks for reading posted by user cassild titled a guy thinks he owns me because he has money this happened almost four months ago i was dealing with a really bad breakup still and of course a lot of guys started to message me but i didn't answer or accept friend requests a guy messaged me on instagram just a simple hi i answered because he seemed so familiar to me i had that feeling you know like that i knew him i just messaged him hi do i know you and we started talking we found out that my uncle is his dad's friend and we've seen each other before this guy is rich and when i say rich i mean he lives in a mansion in the most expensive and luxurious part of guadalajara he flexed his money in every way possible he had several cars expensive sneakers new phone every other month designer clothes you know crap like that first red flag i told him that i wanted to start doing cosplay but i couldn't spend my money since i was saving up for a new laptop he told me that he could buy it for me he wanted to buy the entire cosplay including wig contacts heels dress props everything in exchange for pictures of me wearing it of course i denied second red flag he was really pushy like he wanted pictures of me doing anime girl poses and just nudes in general at this point he was saying some really disgusting things to me like i already got off to your pictures and i want to get off on your face i never send him any nudes so he touched himself to the pictures that i have on instagram so i stopped talking to him because i was done with his bull crap and he didn't stop messaging me i had almost 30 plus messages daily from him he sent me a whole bunch of nasty stuff we love that i messaged him saying that i was done with him and that if he didn't stop i would block him he told me and i quote you're mine so shut up i have money and you want pretty stuff so why not make an exchange and told him that having money didn't make him entitled to talk to me like i was an object and he told me hmm you should consider it i can buy you anything again i told him that i didn't care about money and he told me you're stupid you have to send me nudes i can buy them off of you i'll pay you at that point i had enough i blocked him i have to mention that he tried several times to buy me stuff and he wanted my address so he could send them ill no thank you i can't imagine what that guy could have done with my address lol update a lot of you said that i should tell my uncle i did tell him but since we don't live in the same city i don't know what came of it my uncle is 60 plus and he doesn't use social media i called my uncle and here's some exciting news my uncle said that when i told him he called the guy's dad a few hours later telling him what his son did to me with details basically the whole story and telling him i was his niece and the guy's dad was fudging ticked and so angry at his son he was even angrier when he found out that he did it to his friend's niece he took away his credit card and his cars lol i don't know if he got them back or what i also asked him what the guy's dad's job was because people were speculating that they were in the mafia or at least his son was involved with drugs and the guy's dad owns a hospital and some pharmacies it's a pretty good way to make a lot of money posted by user i am minion titled you can fudging walk so this story needs a little background information before i get into it first off my mother has cerebral palsy in her legs it doesn't affect anything else just her legs because of this she cannot walk without crutches secondly she had rotator cuff surgery on both of her shoulders which makes it extremely difficult to walk with the crutches so she uses her wheelchair a lot more than she used to lastly she has limited use of her legs so she can drive she just can't walk onto the story this was about a year or so ago but something reminded me of it today it was a hot humid summer day and my mother and i needed to go pick something up from walmart she was driving and we were looking for a parking spot in the overly packed parking lots since she has a wheelchair we were looking for a handicapped spot finally we found one after going up and down the aisles upon aisles of cars countless of times as we began to pull into the spot this entitled middle-aged karen decided to dive into the spots and then stand in it so we couldn't go any farther into the spot she adjusted her oversized purse onto her shoulder and got into her cross-armed i would like to speak to the manager's stance which matched her haircut we were about a fourth of the way into the spot so we just couldn't park there because we'd block traffic it was the only handicapped spot in the lot and it's ridiculously hard to get a wheelchair out of a normal spot because it's too tight she began screaming at us about how her mother needed the spots and we were lazy [ __ ] who should just get in normal spots and walk like everyone else this ticked my mother off as she works her ass off every day to do the things that the majority of people can do she works hard to raise a family and to help her legs from locking up she also hates the fact that she can no longer walk as much so that comment got her to snap she yelled back at the lady about how she needs it because she's in a wheelchair and how she tries her damnedess to do everything she possibly can for her family the lady had a look of shock across her face as if she's never had someone yell back at her before she took a step back in her disbelief but quickly recovered as she yelled you can fudging walk my mom screamed back no i really can't my mother slowly pulled into the spot from the lady stepping back and she freaked out at us saying that we tried to hit her finally my mother caved and backed out of the spot to find a new one she was almost in tears as she found a spot in the very back of the parking lots but she couldn't get out because we were too tight to the cars alongside us i angrily stormed towards this lady from the back of the parking lots but in the midst of my anger i came up with the perfect plan i became calm as i began to approach the lady who then scoffed at me i looked alongside her to her mother who seemed about 50 or 60 years old and was walking perfectly fine her mother smiled at me and i smiled back before looking up at the lady and speaking in a very polite tone i'm sorry about my mother she just gets very angered when entitled people steal her handicap spot that she desperately needs i paused as i saw her face start to shift from cheerful to the apology to complete shock and disgust that i was mentioning this in front of her mother i then added in my same tone with a dash of annoyance oh and she's stuck in the car because i couldn't get the wheelchair to fit in between the cars the woman's look lost its disgust and went into complete shock as i began to walk away and her mother began yelling at her for taking the spot of someone who clearly needed it and for causing good people an awful amount of trouble posted by user olethros842 titled entitled gambler changes his mind doesn't realize i heard him so about a week ago this happened to me personally i'm a cocktail waitress who serves compt drinks to guests however there are rules and being rude and disorderly can get you instantly cut off the cast are me just me nothing else to see here ep entitled patron now i'm doing my rounds taking drink orders chipper as hell and ask cocktails beverages i shout this through a thick mask so people can hear me so i can accommodate individuals who want a refreshment entitled patron clearly losing on his game and is angrily muttering to himself and smacking the machine i walk past him asking for drink orders like cocktails beverages he says loudly i don't want to drink from you i'm stunned but still continue taking orders i continue walking down the aisles of slot machines and he barges past me to another machine angrily i pass him again while still taking orders he says hey i want a heineken uh what bring me a heineken um i guess i didn't know how to react but i really didn't want to bring this guy anything since he was being so rude i decided since he said before that he didn't want to order from me that i'd just stay with that i went to my bar to collect the other orders from my section including two heinekens for a couple that were in my section entitled patron apparently decided to hunt me down after less than five minutes to hound me and says give me my heineken what heineken it's right there on your tray tries to reach for it and i pull back no sir these are for a couple who ordered them i ordered a heineken from you you said very clearly that you did not want to order from me and then i changed my mind well i'm very sorry but you very clearly said you did not want to order from me whatever [ __ ] and then he walks away to be clear i never came up to him directly to ask if he wanted a drink our procedure is to shout cocktails and if someone flags us down we know that they want to drink if he didn't want to order from me he didn't have to say anything at all he chose to be rude thinking i didn't hear him be nice to the people who serve you posted by user mad max fury road titled entitled mother tries to get me fired for being gay i 21 female to male work at a convenience store gas station in a pretty conservative section of my city as the title implies i'm gay gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide i'm discreet at work around customers but i'd answer some of my co-workers questions since i'm the first openly trans gay guy most people meet at the time i'd only been working there for about one and a half months and corona wasn't a thing yet one specific co-worker s was asking about my boyfriend a i always delighted to gush about him so i did s did her usual ah that's so sweet you two are cute type thing we both went back to doing our jobs and the rest of the shift only had normal gas station nonsense all was well or was it esse's mom had apparently heard about me talking to s about my man somehow and was out for blood she is a literal karen haircut and everything only very aggressively texan she's also a military wife this is entitled mother entitled mother came storming in the next day with s and dragged the gm outside i wasn't working that day so i don't have specific dialogue only the gist of what gm told me later when i worked next outside entitled mother started yelling at gm about how i'm disgusting and going to taint her daughter because i'm gay and don't have a disco stick culminating in telling him he needed to fire me because of the conversation s and i had had poor s was standing there also probably wanting to melt into the ground as her mom reamed out her boss giggity doubt it's the first or last time it's happened gm somehow mollified entitled mother and got her to leave so everyone could go back to normal my next shift gm pulls me aside and asks for my side of the events i told him that i was just answering a question s had asked then he told me about the meeting with entitled mother and asks me to be more careful with phrasing to keep things hush-hush didn't get fired or even written up still work there so so does s who is by and out by the way oh and one thing i forgot to mention entitled mother is a lesbian oh what the what the hell what in tarnation entitled mother posted by user someone you know 22 titled entitled wants me to take in cousin who will get out of prison even though she refuses to take him in so i got custody of my niece who's 6 into my nephew 7 a few months ago before quarantine happened from the death of their parents before you start asking and my family has mixed feelings on this so i'm getting your opinions but i'm sure i made up my mind my cousin was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder what people call psychopathy or sociopathy when he was in prison for assault with a deadly weapon five years ago and had to pay a fine his anti-social personality disorder diagnoses makes a lot of sense to me because when he was younger he enjoyed torturing animals and was basically the textbook serial killer in the making when we were younger he put a camera in my bathroom that my twin brother found before i went in there he tried to smother me his little sister and attempted to kill our family dog my cousin's sister will call her julia her mother refused to take the fact that he attempted to kill us seriously and i was too scared to file a police report after all this i was more relieved when i found out that he was sent to prison then i was sad unlike his mum who was apparently sobbing at the court hearing my cousin's set to be released in august of this year his mother julia and several other family members have been refusing to let him into their homes because of his track history his mother has been begging my twin brother and me to reconsider our stance she apparently found me on social media after i cut her out of my life for different reasons not pertaining to my cousin when making our decision my twin brother and i took into account the fact he slipped a camera into my bathroom the fact that he tried to kill me when we were children the fact that my twin and i are now sharing a room and my niece and nephew and the other i am sure that this man will become a serial killer later in life because of the path that he's taking my mom surviving brothers julia and several other family members are on my twin and die's side however several other family members are calling us cruel and to just let him stay on the couch until he can get his footing however for the safety of myself my niece and my nephew and my twin brother we are a firm no edits rip my inbox thank you for everything i just needed to vent my brother and i have been looking through the comments he's contacted the parole board to make sure that he isn't welcome anywhere near us entitled auntie isn't aware of where we live and the building we live in is safe because they've invested in a security guard and cameras all around i'm planning on giving them a photo of him and saying this man is not allowed to come in here he is dangerous but thank you for everything this assault was his first offense which is why he got such a light sentence he had no criminal record before this incident as the legal guardian of two beautiful children i cannot in good conscience let the idiot into the flats personality disorders run on that side of the family though but nothing as severe as aspd posted by user ah spub me titled my aunt treats me like i'm not worth a present that was supposed to be mine this story takes place when i was about eight to nine at the time my mum sister and i were visiting my aunt and my older cousin oc by about a year this is fairly important for christmas and staying there for a couple of weeks my cousin was also celebrating her birthday a little after christmas and so we saved some of her gifts for that party since it would be easier after we had eaten the cupcakes and sang happy birthday it was time for her to open her gifts so my mom brought them out for her she opens a gift and it was an equestria girl singing pinkie pie doll since we all enjoyed that series and it was her favorite character she opens the next and it was the exact same doll that was meant to be given to me for christmas but got mixed up in there somehow my mum goes up to her and says sorry honey that one wasn't meant for you we just put the wrong toy in your pile of presents older cousin gives the toy back my cousin was completely fine with it but that's when an e.t entitled auntie comes in she grabs the toy from my mom and says she opened the toy it's hers now i look at my aunt and say but mama said that that one was meant for me my mom asks for the doll back from my aunt and picks up the wrapping paper that had the label with my name on it and says i specifically got these matching dolls for them to match it's not fair if oc gets both of them entitled he replies well she should have both of them since it's her birthday and she'll just have to keep both in case one of them breaks at this point older cousin comes in trying to defuse things before it gets any worse and says mom let her have the doll i don't even play with dolls unless they're here anyway entitled auntie is getting loud and says no you're keeping the doll even though older cousin and i were only about a year or two apart i was a really sensitive kid so this hit me pretty hard it would have been fine otherwise but at the time that was one of the worst years of my life at this point my sister has also gotten into the conversation and my mom and entitled auntie are arguing older cousin and i just go into the other room while it all plays out trying to play with the other dolls we had gotten together my mum eventually wins the argument and gets the doll back but entitled auntie and my mom were mad at each other for the rest of the stay several years later my aunt still acts like this but a lot worse and last time to the point where she attacked my sister and i posted by user grac even the titles entitled parent goes to native drum circle tells native chief to stop the event and take off his headdress because it's traumatizing her child background so when my little brother was in boy scouts he had this best friend named max max was cool but his parents are horrid they are racist ignorant and entitled sadly they also ran the local boy scouts so one day the boy scouts have an outing we went to the local natives reserve i often tagged along since my mom and entitled parents are friends that day the natives were holding a really fun drum circle coming of age ceremony if some of you have never gone it's basically this people singing banging drums big fire all in all a good time the natives start bites doing the coming of age ceremony at this ceremony the people coming of age are given chewing tobacco immediately entitled parents starts yelling about how it was disgusting and young people should not be given tobacco meanwhile they always give their much younger kids alcohol next the native starts singing and dancing it's beautiful but entitled parents does not think so entitled mother starts screaming that the dancing was too savage terrifying and ungodly then she actually gets up and walks through the circle up to the chief she's stopped by a nice young man who asks her to sit down she ignored him and her eyes narrow at the chief she says you need to stop all this she waves her hands it's scaring my kid you were traumatizing him this is inappropriate for kids take off that silly costume like you brought the 20 kids here lady they did not invite you also i'm sitting next to my younger brother and max they are both enjoying themselves and talking about egyptian pyramids the chief rolls his eyes and says nothing the nice man asks her again to sit down she starts to scream again but notices the many disapproving eyes on her it was not just the boy scouts visiting the events but lots of the local community she walks back and sits down steaming the boy scouts never went back and in a couple of years the entitled parents were kicked out of the boy scouts for cheating and emotionally abusing the kids and that's on toxicity my 32 female husband 36 male became a robot and i don't know how to help him the title sounds insane but here i go we've been married for six years and have two kids and i'm pregnant with a third my husband works from nine to five comes home does his chores plays without two kids talks to me for a little bit and then goes to sleep but he doesn't seem to enjoy doing any of it like this whole thing is just one big chore he used to be this goofy guy who smiled and told jokes all the time but i haven't seen the man smile in months it's not like he's neglecting his duties as a husband and father but he acts like it's just that duties like hanging with the kids and me is a second job i'm grateful for all he's doing and he makes all of our lives so much easier but it's like he's constantly on the clock and i think he might be depressed i tried asking him if he was doing okay and he tells me he's doing fantastic but i know he's not that's the line he uses at work when customers try to make small talk and ask how he's doing he doesn't take any time for himself he doesn't take any breaks he stopped playing games and stopped watching tv he just does what i feel he thinks needs to be done and i don't know how to help him out our sex life has become one-sided we do it frequently but only because i initiate frequently even if he doesn't seem in the mood he'll do it like it's his responsibility to make me happy i feel like he isn't there in the moment like his mind is wandering the whole time that we're intimate and that to me feels worse than getting rejected i don't know what's been going on and i don't know how to help because he won't let me in to anybody else he seems fine but i know something is wrong and i don't know how to fix this i miss my husband the guy who complained and told jerks not this robotic shell that looks like him edits all right wow i didn't expect this to blow up i want to thank all of you for your advice i really appreciate it and it's clear to me now that my husband is overworked and burnt out he comes home from work in a couple of hours and i'm going to sit him down and talk to him i'm going to tell him how i feel and i hope that together we can find a solution that turns him back into the man that he once was i'm sorry if i wasn't able to respond to everyone but i want you to all know that i read every comment and response i'll post an update soon about how it goes bye and yeah the first comment here says your husband sounds burnt out he sounds completely exhausted with nothing more but more exhaustion to look forward to he's probably tired of the redundancy and depressed he probably needs a long vacation from responsibilities and a new career edit i forgot to mention that your husband is probably telling you that everything is fine because he doesn't want you to feel guilty or leave you with the responsibilities of everything on your own yeah he's burnt out for sure life is so damn tough on all of us we really all need to be so gentle with each other while life is a gift it's so damn easy for it to get to you i mean is this life yours or are you life's it's so so much the latter most of the time in my honest opinion we're wired to try to make people like us that brings too much trouble and we don't even think about it in the beginning part of it i try to rewire myself on my own rules sounds very familiar i am 50 male and i've been where he is i was not interested in hearing that i might have depression either it didn't sound right i didn't think that was what depression feels like doing some research at the time i found some stuff that got more open to getting help the first is that it's not giving in it's not about being weak it's just a problem that he needs help fixing fixing it is not a bad thing leaving it broken is a bad thing my second thought for you is that often men have a hard time talking about feelings because we don't know what they are how to describe them how to recognize them ask him if he is depressed he says no because he doesn't know if that feeling is depression boredom work stress a memory of song he hates he has no idea it's a cliche but here's the new parts we can recognize symptoms ask him about any strange symptoms he has can't sleep forget stuff decides not to do things that seem like stuff he would enjoy naps naps where he can't fall asleep late slash early bedtime missed work lack of interest in sex burner trouble tummy issues get him talking about his symptoms and you might recognize that some of them are emotions or feelings gently point out that when it happens and look for symptoms of depression not feelings third thing i learned it's common for men to resist a diagnosis of depression all that stuff we grew up with gets in the way what i had was adaptation disorder with depressed mood that's when you can't adapt to something it stresses you out and you get symptoms like depression you can treat it with meds even if you can't identify or fix the problem for me it took some pretty massive life change still on meds though because the stress just doesn't end in 2020 i think a lot of people have been experiencing adjustment disorders for the first time as a result of the current situation opie also mentions a baby on the way it could be adding to her husband's difficulty with positive expectations for the future a new baby as joyful as it can be also equals huge stress it may seem to him that the world is not going to improve anytime soon and a lack of hope is the classic sign of depression updates my husband became a robot and i don't know how to help him hey everybody here is the update i wrote this a couple days ago but couldn't post it because it was too soon my husband came home at around six o'clock and after he had something to eat i took him to the bedroom to talk i sat him down on the bed and told him i was worried about him i didn't know exactly how to phrase my worries so i just showed him my original post when he finished reading the post he started crying like full-on crying in all the years that i had known this man i had never seen a tear roll down his eye i held him for a few minutes until he could recompose himself and he told me everything he told me that the world was in a crappy place right now and that we're bringing a child into a stressful time he said that when i became pregnant he felt he had to step up he needed to take care of things because it was his responsibility he said that the weight of carrying the family was so much harder than he anticipated so he thought if he would double down he could get through it but the more he tried the darker the tunnel got and eventually he couldn't see an end he said that he feels like he's constantly drowning and the only breath of fresh air is on the car rides between home and work he said that sometimes the stress is so much that he throws up but doesn't tell anyone and insists on going on with his day he then pulled out a pack of gum from his pocket and said this was for when it happens i asked him why he couldn't tell me any of this and he said he didn't want to burden me with the truth he said that he thought if he told me everything that i would have stopped seeing him as a protector and provider and that i would inevitably stop loving him hearing him say that brought tears to my eyes because i didn't know where he got the notion i would feel that way i asked him if he wanted to quit his job but surprisingly he said the job doesn't bother him he said the work in and of itself was fine it's just now he feels an added weight to provide because not only was he fortunate enough to keep his job in the pandemic but we also had a kid on the way he said that some days he feels like packing a suitcase and running to some tropical island for a week and not telling anyone but then he feels guilty and doubles down even more i told him that maybe he should go on a trip i said that he deserved a break and maybe if he did exactly that he would feel better he tried to protest but i insisted in the end said that he'll only go if we go together like a romantic getaway between spouses once things start to clear up and before the baby is due he wants to take a week off from work drop the kids off at grandma's house and have us go on a vacation just the two of us like we used to do when we first got married he also said that he wants to take the day off tomorrow and just sleep in so that's the plan i'll call his boss tomorrow and say that he's sick and can't come in it's not like they'll make a sick man come into work anyway there's a pandemic going on right now he's playing with the kids and it doesn't feel like he's doing one of his chores he actually seems to be enjoying himself for the first time in months i don't see the robots i see my husbands edits hey everyone i want to thank all of you for the support i read all of your comments and i appreciate all of you i didn't expect this to get so much traction so i want to clarify some things first things first my husband says hi one i want to clarify about the chores people are talking about i want to say that i know as a stay-at-home mom the bulk of chores goes to me i cook and clean and do laundry because i know it's my responsibility my husband's only chores are doing dishes vacuuming every three days and a few other house maintenance stuff two i did in fact call in sick for my husband but i made sure that i said he had a migraine i saw on google that it wasn't a symptom of covid if it was an isolated symptom his boss was okay with it and said he can come back whenever he feels better three the pregnancy wasn't an accident we both did want to have three kids because we were both raised in three kid families we actively tried for the first two but for baby number three it was kind of an if it happens it happens kind of thing we're both happy with the amount of kids we have and will have and are hopefully done we are not considering abortion nor adoption four we realize that a one week vacation isn't enough to get rid of his stress and to both try to come up with a solution that alleviates his stress in a more sustainable way right now we're thinking about setting up an hour or two a day that's daddy's time no kids no me no work just for him to relax five to those of you who think this is fake there isn't any way i can change your minds about this situation so i'm not really too bothered i just hope this never happens to you guys you all have been supportive and a really wonderful bunch of people i think we can get through this and it wouldn't have been possible without you guys i'm not going to reply to comments because like last time it's an overwhelming amount but just know i'm reading these as they come in goodnight everyone it's been great and gingerpenguin says as someone who's come out on the other side of this i think you could not have handled this better than you have i actually felt a bit emotional reading this so well done i think a break from work is a big one and it's very hard to work out whether the stress coming from the job is simply he's working too much or that specific company is burdening him a day off followed by a week away with no responsibility so he can recharge his batteries is well due but i think after that week knowing what feelings going back to work has will be the key to whether he should be looking for another company if all he feels is dread then looking for a job whilst remaining at the company will give him a new take on life it's a scary thought especially if he's been there a while and or gained ranks but even a lateral move should help his mental health in general i think you've now set the tone that you too can discuss these things and work to positive outcomes it sounds like you've just got the material for a long happy marriage i wish you well in everything in the future i just took two weeks off of work because i felt like i was going to have a breakdown i cried reading this update because i know exactly how he feels i didn't know what would have happened if i hadn't taken that time people are overworked and overwhelmed as it is when you add in a global pandemic it increases the stress more than most people realize it's like no one is relaxed i'm so glad opie's husband finally felt okay to open up to her i hope he gets the time off that he needs as a 47 year old man i felt this in my soul constantly drowning and the only breath of fresh air is on the car ride between home and work plus i get an hour to myself for my lunch break where i can sit in my truck and do nothing otherwise it is the constant cycle of work home and family maintenance ad nauseam at this point i'm just waiting until i can retire in 10 years and i don't know maybe lay down and die for a little bit edits i also started my family way too young so i have been a dad since before my 19th birthday i think i'm just tired i think this is hitting people because of quarantine when i'm at work i look forward to being home and relaxing when i'm at home i look forward to going out to the bar casino bowling whatever i look forward to eating out i would look forward to a weekend away next month or a big vacation in x months that's basically been put on hold for four months and counting now my life is work at home family chores sleep my work isn't even bad i actually kinda like it i love my family and the time i spend with them but it's the ultimate rut you can't do anything and the few things you can do outside of the house are risking your health there's none of those just the little things to look forward to and it feels bad because i do actually enjoy spending time with my family it's still an obligation even if i enjoy it though if that makes sense you know i can't just run off and take my family for a weekend away losing that option and not having stuff to break up the routine is difficult i feel like tiny violin here but at 40 my wife and i don't have kids and have similar issues with quarantine we used to do things have fun see friends have their kids over and play wii i was going to teach my wife to ski this year not anymore i wanted to visit my parents nope not now ain't flying and they're old then not having anything to look forward to is absolutely soul sucking add to the fact every turn of 2020 publicly and privately has been a crap show hang in there fist bump posted by user throw ra condom titled my 23 male fiancee 23 female hates it when i use a condom i've been with my soon to be fiance for two years we met in college and just hit it off from there however something weird happens during sex she never has sex with me if i wear a condom she always wants to go raw and i'm worried because she isn't on birth control last night i tried putting a condom on and she yelled at me and said i wasn't a real man and that only sissies were condoms it was really weird and i wonder if some women are insulted if a man wears a condom during sex i have no idea why she's acting like this she's only started this way two months ago what should i do and how do i navigate this red flag counts she never has sex with me if i wear a condom she always wants to go raw and i'm worried because she isn't on birth control she yelled at me said i wasn't a real man only cersei's wear condoms i have no idea why she's acting like this and she only started this way two months ago sounds like she cheated two months ago and is worried she's pregnant if he uses condoms harder to say that it's his just my little theory could just be a classic baby fever trying to trap him but you know given how sudden it is i.e presumably always using condoms before i'm not sure she's trying to get pregnant you need to speak to her asap i think she's made her decision already but she should have included op be smart opie really consider if this behavior is acceptable to you thank you i will talk to her i will try and update in a week if she started acting like this two months ago it just makes me think she found out she's pregnant maybe from cheating and desperately wants to get you to do it without protection so she can claim it's yours i don't see any other reason to suddenly get so obsessed and mean about it even if she just wanted to have your kid she sounds way too desperate so it definitely feels shady to me as a girl i would never do it without a condom unless i'm ready to have children furthermore the verbal attack not a real man lends itself perfectly into this very likely scenario fudging yikes get out op now updates my fiance hates it when i use a condom thank you for all the people who gave me advice on my post it took me a while but i tried to read through every post i took all of your advice to heart and i'm a bit late updating but things have gotten crazy over the past week so bear with me so my curiosity got the better of me and i checked her phone while she went to the store i looked through her text messages and saw an exchange with her friend on the phone in the text messages my significant other talks about how she doesn't want to lose me and how i have way too many options compared to her she talks about how jealous she feels when other girls try and flirt with me my significant other and friend discussed trying to get her pregnant so i won't leave her i'm really not ready for kids at all and it makes it really uncomfortable that my significant other would want to trick me into getting her pregnant when my significant other came back she immediately tried to initiate sex but i refused it then blew up into an argument she started talking about how i didn't love her and that i've been distant lately in a fit of anger i let it slip that i went through her phone and i knew she was trying to trap me things only went downhill from there and evolved into a shouting match i left the house and packed up most of my things i don't think to stay with her is worth my time anymore and she kept trying to gaslight and manipulate me my phone is still blowing up from text messages saying that she loves me and wants me to take her back but i'm not buying it anyways thank you to everyone who gave me advice since she's used to manipulating she is going to pull out all the stops on it and try to get you back stay strong op i'm glad she got out of that trying to get pregnant without a partner's consent is considered sexual assault and reproductive coercion which is a form of sexual assaults although i do think it is important to use the term reproductive coercion specifically in addition to sexual violence the term and the pioneering research on reproductive coercion only came into existence in the early 2000s many people haven't heard of it nor are aware that there is a term and services specifically for those who've experienced control over and abuse of their reproductive health and choices and to triple that it's also domestic violence in this case another reason why naming it as rc in addition to sexual and domestic violence is that unfortunately there is a great deal of stigma around male abuse survivors they may not know that this does apply to them too and that rc isn't just applicable to women i think many people erroneously assume that rc can only be perpetuated against women sometimes having a specific focused name for what you've endured can help so i understand why other commenters mentioned it was also rc posted by user throw ra dog stalker titled my 28 female dog attacked my stalker after he broke into my house now my sister-in-law 32 female says my dog is too dangerous to be around my niece for female feels like i'm going crazy this is a kind of complicated story but i'll just get into the gist of it i used to be in this controlling kind of abusive relationship when i finally broke it off a year ago my ex started showing up places trying to get me to take him back eventually it developed into full-on stalking he would show up at my work and took to just waiting outside of it after he was banned leave notes on my car when i was at the grocery store leave all kinds of flowers outside my house and then stick angry notes on my door after he saw me throw them in the trash wrote all kinds of weird obsessive emails and letters i've had to change my phone number three times the behavior escalated over time and got scarier slash more threatening in one instance he started a small fire in my driveway but the police couldn't get enough evidence connecting him to it it was after that instance that i put cameras in my yard i previously only had them pointing at my doors i was horrified to learn that the police couldn't do crap about any of this until my stalker actually was caught doing something illegal like breaking into my house at which point i might already be dead i decided i wasn't spending the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop so i got a handgun and a concealed carry permit took some self-defense courses and started doing strength training i also looked into getting an attack dog but after all the money that i'd sunk into the other forms of protection they were prohibitively expensive so i went to my local animal shelter and got the scariest meanest looking dog that i could find this is where thor comes in he's a 100 pound american bulldog looks like he'd rip your throat out on sight but is basically a gigantic teddy bear he loves every person he's ever met he's incredibly sweet and gentle with my four-year-old niece enjoys other animals and even loves the mailman i just kind of accepted that he probably wouldn't do anything to protect me from my stalgar but it didn't matter that much because having such a huge dog made me so much more confident i brought thor everywhere that i could and was working on getting him trained enough to be an emotional support animal so i could bring him inside places with me i absolutely would not do this until he was trained well enough to not disrupt a regular service dog last month i woke up in the middle of the night to thaw whining i was groggy and thought he had to go to the bathroom so i got out of bed and opened the door at that point my house alarm went off and pretty soon after that i was face to face with my stalker i started screaming and went to run for my gun before i could do anything though thor ran across the room in full attack mode the memory is really blurry for me but there was blood all over my living room and i remember my stalker was eventually able to escape at which thor chased him outside and then came back to me when the police showed up they said thor was a hero who had probably saved my life i don't want to list what they found in my stalker's car after they caught him and i'm shaking a little as i type this but i'm sure he was going to bring me somewhere and kill me it looks like he's going to prison for a long time though so my nightmare is over pretty much everyone in my life thinks thor is a hero except my sister-in-law she and my brother have a four-year-old the one i mentioned above and she says she doesn't want thor around her the child anymore she says since thor has snapped in the past he could do it again so he's not safe to have around kids we used to see each other a few times a week before she decided thor was dangerous the way she words this makes me really angry because thor didn't snap he saw a stranger break into his home hurt his owner scream in terror and reacted to defend me himself and his house nothing about that screams dangerous around children to me unless my niece is also going to break into my house and threaten me this is also a very emotional issue for me because thor isn't just a dog to me he's my safe place my hero the one who protected me and kept me safe when no one else could i've always gotten increasingly anxious since this happens and i can't go anywhere without thor i barely leave my house pay to pick up my groceries from the store instead of going in because i know thor isn't allowed inside and all of my friends know that if thor isn't welcome in their house i'm not coming either although they're perfectly welcome to come hang out at my house instead i am really going through it and i'm working with a therapist to overcome this luckily my office is still fully remote but i need to be able to go back to work once we're in person again but i really really need my brother and sister-in-law's supports i think my sister-in-law thinks i'm just pouting and that's why i just won't leave the dog home and come over without him i don't know how to explain to them that the fear hasn't stopped just because my stalker is in jail it's actually a lot worse than it was before i've already suggested they come over and i crate thor but that wasn't good enough for her what can i do to make her understand the situation better because there have been plenty of helpful comments already regarding what to do with thor great name by the way and your sister-in-law i just want to make sure you're also taking care of yourself what you've been through is horribly traumatic that few people in the world have experienced i know you've gone to great lengths to protect yourself with classes and the like but now that the imminent physical threat is taken care of it's time to take care of the emotional scars your stalker has inflicted on you please seek some trauma therapy you deserve to live without the constant cloud of fear hanging over you please seek professional therapy you'll thank yourself so much for being kind enough to take care of your mental health best of luck to you and lots of pets for your perfect doggy i went through something traumatic and thought i was okay after that but it bit me on my ass after two months later when i have started panicking so to opie please please please go see someone about your mental health i went three years without hearing my attacker's voice or seeing him i heard it's two weeks ago not going into detail but that loop has been closed and went into a full-blown panic attack it really sneaks up on you most of the people that replied have given you excellent advice mine is to get you to see that you won as i read your post i realized that you have no idea how smart and strong you are you were threatened and took action you got a gun permit training cameras alarm system a dog and all the things that i usually have to talk people into for years i provided a service to victims of stalkers i would first inform them of their legal rights tell them their options help them with filing reports do a deep background on the stalker inspect the home for security advise them on a proper alarm system and changes find a contractor help them select a handgun in training and train them what to do at home at work on the street help find a dog therapist and many other things over the years i developed a thorough understanding of the mind of stalkers and how to deal with them i think how helpless you feel when the law says you have been beaten or killed before they can do anything today most major cities have a support group for people that are harassed by stalkers sometimes i would even have a discussion with the stalker but that only worked 10 of the time stalkers know the law aren't afraid of much and are driven by things most people don't understand i could list the many things we did including staking out the house and catching them i was licensed and permitted in everything i only share this background so that you know that i have more experience at this than most people the reason i'm replying to your post is to tell you that you did things on your own that even i had to push clients to do because they either were paralyzed with fear lived in denial or were passive and had to be pushed into protecting themselves some even wanted to move away never run from a stalker and you didn't in 15 years i never had one client that took the initiative like you have you did almost everything right and you should be proud of your efforts and know that you are strong enough to deal with this and anything else life throws at you you won don't let this piece of trash know that he caused you pain these sick people get pleasure from your fear so as you go forward don't let your sister-in-law get to you she has no idea what you went through and her fear of your dog is baseless you are really lucky and you have one hell of a dog he saved your life and deserves a great partner like you please don't underestimate yourself i never had one client as strong and smart as you you should be talking to victims and sharing your story of courage and survival you would provide a service to victims that think no one understands their constant fear if you did that you would be giving yourself therapy therapy isn't much more than sharing your fears with someone that understands and you truly do op says this was such a kind lovely thing to read thank you so much both for this comment and for the work you do my 36 mil wife 34 female keeps tying my boots after i've told her to keep her hands off them i tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings yes i know the title is bizarre and i can't believe i'm actually writing this so my wife is a neat freak always has been she throws notes on my desk out assuming they're garbage my belongings get rearranged to the point where it takes me hours to find them it's something i've come to accept i'm not happy about it but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole i am a volunteer emt and i keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to my clothes sampler so that i can throw them on along with my uniform if a coal comes in during the middle of the night well my wife has taken to tying the bootlaces when she sees them untied not only does she tie them but she tightens them and double knots them to the point where i need to undo the knots open up the boots and let a little slack out to fit my feet into them i ignored it the first two times but the third time she did it i made a point to bring it up to her the next day i very calmly said hun i appreciate that you want everything neat but please do not touch my boots in the future time is of the essence when i'm on a call and at two in the morning i don't have the time to unleash them and open them up it's not just a minor inconvenience it's people's lives so i would appreciate it if you left them alone she rolled her eyes said i was being dramatic and that she wouldn't help me out by keeping my things neat in the future well she never stopped no matter how many times i've asked her told her begged her she just laughs and says well you know how i am the other night a page went out for a cpr in progress i went to throw my boots on and they were once again tightened beyond recognition so i'm sitting there on the edge of the bed cursing trying to get my boots open and fumbling due to the stress of the situation my wife opened her eyes groggily looked at me and asked don't you need to go on that call i know i was in the wrong here and i regret it i slammed the boots into the ground and yelled yes i do i would have been out the door five minutes ago except some stupid motherfreakers screwed with my goddamn boots again my wife got up without another word walked into the bathroom and slammed the door i got my boots opened and went on the call by the time we arrived the police had gotten her back so i didn't have to do cpr but i was sweating and shaking thinking my delay could have cost a life i got home and my wife wasn't talking to me she ignored me the entire day until we finally sat down and talked she said i had scared her with how angry i got that she thought i was going to hit her and she didn't know i was capable of getting so angry notes i have never raised a hand to her nor have i ever yelled at her before i am absolutely not a violent person in any way shape or form i apologize for yelling at her and acknowledged that i hadn't meant to snap at her i was frustrated with the situation as i needed to get to the person in need of cpr as soon as possible and it was a delay that didn't need to happen i once again pleaded with her not to touch my boots because lives were literally on the line she told me that if i was going to overreact and make her afraid then she would never touch my boots again because she didn't want to live like that last night before i got into bed i had a sinking feeling so i went over and checked my boots i was very disappointed to find them tightened up again so i decided to show her how it felt i went over to her closet and pulled out her running shoes i unlaced the shoes on both of them removed them from the shoes completely curled them each into a little coil and put them inside the shoes and put them back i then went to sleep at 6 15 i was woken up by my wife screaming how could you why would you do this holding up both laceless shoes with tears in her eyes my wife likes to go for an early morning run and i knew she would want to get out of the door as soon as possible i smiled and said you know how i am i just like things neat she continued sobbing and walked out of the room so by the time she was all laced up again it was raining so she missed out on her run i actually feel pretty terrible about that because i really only wanted to delay her not ruin her plans completely at this point she's alternating between crying that i went out of my way to hurt her and ignoring my presence i acknowledge that what i've done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive i just don't know what to do she said through tears you admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling at me and then you turned around and took it out of me in a different way what's wrong with you the problem is to her an apology means taking on 100 of the faults when i apologized for blowing up she took that to mean she was 100 in the rights and that mike feelings were completely unjustified so at this point i haven't apologized for ruining her run because she'll take that to mean she wasn't wrong to touch my boots i've tried to have these discussions but it's in one year in doubt the other we have such a good relationship otherwise but i feel like this issue has reached a tipping point and it's going to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it how do i make things right with my wife whilst still letting her know that i won't tolerate her disrespecting my property anymore edits wow this really blew up i went through comments for six hours last night and i still have 1.8 000 to get through i promise you i am reading every one of your comments and appreciate the advice a couple of things to address points that keep getting brought up 1. my wife has never been diagnosed as having ocd as an emt i'm very careful about labeling someone is having a disorder as i don't have the proper qualifications to make that diagnosis i do agree that it's time for her to see somebody get a proper diagnosis and address these issues two my boots lace up in the front and zipper on the side they're not a full unzip rather an unzip to open them a bit the way my wife is tying them makes them impossible to get on even with the zipper down they are weatherproof and great for standing on rough terrain or on the highway after accidents they're only about a year old and were actually a gift from my wife i've not considered velcro before i'm a bit hesitant to do that as i don't know that they wouldn't catch on things or wear out quicker i've tucked the laces in but she still tied them up three this is a bit of a compulsive behavior on my part i don't leave my boots in the garage because my mother was a smoker growing up and that's where she would smoke so i would end up with ashes in my shoes and having them reek of tobacco after so i developed a habit of wearing them in my home also if i leave them there they are likely to get moved someplace safe where it will take me even longer to find them putting the boots in the closet she found them and tied them putting them under the bed or out of sight they were found tied and moved to the closets four i honestly believe that a foot locker or any other kind of box would get moved to where i would have to wake her up to find it if it's locked then my keys are likely to go missing for some reason sitting on my dresser is not appropriate but in the pocket of a jacket downstairs in the closets is 5. i am likely going to start putting my boots in the car though i had to laugh at the people suggesting decoy boots as much as it may seem like it i'm not living in a spy versus spy cartoon 6. i'm a volunteer emt we respond from home we don't have sleeping quarters and i work the overnight shift so i sleep during my shift get out of bed when a call comes in drive to the building and take the ambulance to the scene this is typical of volunteer organizations paid ems is more likely to have sleeping quarters or even require emts to be in the truck throughout their shifts community-based ems is more likely to take 9-1-1 calls and respond to emergencies whether paid or volunteer private ems is more likely to take transport requests such as to and from dialysis or chemotherapy as well as hospital to nursing facility discharges seven to those who have told me that i don't have the right to use the word life saving on my dress uniform i have pins for three defibrillator saves and four for cpr saves i've crawled into a car wreck to open someone's airway and bag them until we could get them out while transporting a patient i recognized signs of internal injury and ordered we divert to a trauma center where he was put directly into emergency surgery that saved his life did i do these things entirely by myself no of course not i would never claim that i was the sole reason that someone lived however i am at my very basest level a vital link in the chain of survival so while i can't claim complete credit for any of the things i've done i would certainly put a lot of the blame on myself if someone didn't live because of something i failed to do eight i have a full-time job that i work eight to five monday to friday outside of ems that is why i volunteer on the night shift my wife works as a payroll manager for a mid-sized office i own about ten thousand dollars a year more than her we've been married for two years while i lived on my own before we were married she didn't move into the apartment until we got engaged so i think to her that was my place not ours and she didn't really touch my things i was with another ems organization until we moved to a new town after our engagement when we bought the house i joined the local volunteer squad as an emt my wife regards my job as part of my identity while she sees the ems as something i volunteered to do she would say this is my husband he is job title not this is my husband he is an emt tell your wife that this interference with your gear could crash your marriage and facilitate a death and is she good with that or will she work on herself she thinks i'm being dramatic when i refer to life saving that what i do is more transporting boo-boos why does your wife not take what you do seriously i'm sorry to say this but she seems so out of touch and unempathetic if she thinks that being an emt is just transporting boo-boos i hope for your sake that she realizes soon that you do really important work by helping people and that taking any extra time to reach someone may cost that person their life because not taking his job seriously enables her to shrug off any criticism and continue with her compulsive behavior bingo ding ding ding she needs to not take his job seriously so that she can avoid responsibility for her behavior ask your wife if she got hit on her morning run how would she like it if her doctor was late because his wife tied his shoes i've actually made a similar argument she laughed it off and minimized the work that i do that most of what i do isn't life-saving and taking the time to get dressed properly won't cost any lives it's something that bothers me but it's clear that she doesn't get it in any first responder case a lot of times they aren't big where it's life-threatening but it's all about being prepared for the one the fact she doesn't understand that it's a yikes as a first responder you never let your guard down ninety percent of your calls might be easy small cases but you still prepare and train as if your next one is going to be the other 10 don't understand why she still doesn't see this though if she doesn't get this after being told multiple times it's not a lack of understanding it's a narcissistic lack of empathy narcissistic is right in all of this the only thing that affected her was how she was a victim by getting yelled at her getting yelled at and her shoes being the ones messed with and even when she claimed that she would not tie the boots again she made the statement about herself she said that she won't do it because she can't live like that not because she acknowledges what she did was wrong and then goes and ties them again your wife's behavior sounds compulsive she likely has a major anxiety disorder that manifests in this way which explains her inability to stop herself from the rearranging and the lacing and whatnots she needs therapy and medication pronto but that doesn't explain her minimizing the importance and urgency of your job even if you weren't literally saving lives i'd be ticked as hell if my partner trivialized my work and dismissed my need to be organized and prepared for my job i'm skeptical that your marriage is truly as great as you say it is and i'm concerned that you're just in the habit of subjugating your own needs to keep the peace due to your wife's quirks updates my wife keeps tying my boots after i've told her to keep her hands off them i tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings i've gotten a few requests for an update but didn't want to post until i really felt like i had anything to say a lot has happened in the past two weeks so i'm going to try to go over it as best i can my wife and i started talking again we had a very serious conversation and i did apologize for what i did to her running shoes and then i told her that i had to speak some truth and i wanted her to promise me that she wasn't going to roll her eyes interrupt me scoff or get sarcastic with me which she did i told her that i was not kidding about my boots that while most of the time i caught geriatric transports falls and nausea there were instances where response time was of the essence and i didn't have time to play around with my boots in the middle of the night i told her that there have been times when my intervention has been critical in saving a life well my training has helped me recognize an underlying emergency or when a call i made ensured that a patient was prioritized upon arrival at the hospital i explained that a lot of the crap that i see i don't tell her about because i don't want to give her nightmares or make her worry about me she actually listened and didn't dismiss what i had to say she responded that she was trying to help by keeping things neat i responded but you're not sweetie i'm not trying to be mean but you're not helping you're hindering me one day it may be the difference between life and death i need you to not touch my gear it's where i know it is it's where i can easily find it in a short amount of time and if you move it you are impeding an emergency response i don't care if it looks neat it serves a function it doesn't look pretty if you want to help me please leave my gear where i put it a few nights later i had my friend officer rich come over officer rich was one of those two cops that did cpr on the victim that night the three of us sat on our deck and had a few social distancing beers he told me about getting there doing cpr giving narcan waiting for the ambulance and getting her back shortly before we got there he then pulled out a few photos of car accidents that i had worked he showed them to my wife and pointed out this car went into a tree your husband crawled into the wreck put a collar on the driver and stayed in there giving him oxygen until we could get him out your husband pulled a three-year-old out of this wreck your husband recognized that the driver had a stroke and took her to the stroke center which likely saved her life after that i told her i had something i wanted to show her and i asked her for the same promise that i'd asked earlier when she agreed i showed her of a video on youtube of a police body cam from an overdose this video shows how critical time is in getting someone back and the training someone goes through in order to give the drug do cpr and utilize an aed i told her i'm not trying to attack you i don't want to have a fight but i want you to understand what i go through that i hope every call i can go on is transporting a boo-boo because otherwise it means that if i don't do everything right someone could die if i don't get out that door as quickly as possible someone could suffer brain damage while they're waiting for me to give them oxygen if i'm upset and shaking because i had to waste time opening my boots i might miss something critical and someone might not make it she acknowledged that she understood and told me she hadn't really thought about the danger of what i do until the other night when she saw the photos of the rex i told her that i think she has ocd and needs to see a therapist because it's hurting our marriage i listed examples of her throwing important things out moving things without permission and messing with my gear i offered to go together and said that i'd be willing to work on things together after i pointed out the pattern she agreed that it was time to speak to someone she wants to think about whether she wants to go together or go by herself but she has promised me that she's going to try to change her patents i brought up her saying she thought i was going to hit her and she acknowledged she'd been with guys who flew off the handle with little provocation and scared her that she'd never seen me that angry and it triggered her because she didn't think i was capable of blowing up like that she has been very emotional lately and has been going through mood swings she's been worried about me going out on calls the other day she started crying and said i hope you know how much i appreciate what you do knock on wood since we had the big talk she hasn't touched my boots is everything resolved not by a long shot but she seems to have a new appreciation for what i do thank you for all your responses i wound up not showing her the thread because a lot of it was pretty harsh towards her i recognized i cherry-picked incidents that didn't put her in the best lights and there is a lot more to her and our marriage than that she is the person i chose for the rest of my life and i want us to work the last basselope says i'm glad things have worked out so far and i hope they continue to do so and that your wife gets the help she needs to be able to live more comfortably with her potential ocd or whatever it turns out to be that drives her need for neatness i was expecting it to end differently maybe with her denying that she had ocd or that it was impacting their relationship and his job instead good communication pulled through and they're now on the same page truly so heartwarming to see another happy ending on this sub my twisted mind was expecting after all of that for it to end with him getting cold in the next day and then his shoes are tied again my twisted mind was afraid that would happen and then someone would die and he would blame himself and or her arabi thanks for the updates good luck you seem open-minded and compassionate and thank you for serving your community it's got to be ocd i say that as someone else who has it when i was a kid i would cry and throw tantrums if my socks weren't lined up with my feet properly opie for what it's worth i had no idea i had ocd and that it wasn't normal until i started sitting in psyclast one day watching a documentary on ocd it took people describing their symptoms for me to have an epiphany and take a sweeping look around the dark classroom only to crushingly realize nobody else had the same epiphany that was when i knew something was wrong so my point is that your wife probably had it for a very long time and never knew she likely thought it was something everyone else dealt with too that's probably part of where the mood swings come from and it kind of both sucks and is liberating to find out you're not neurotypical on the other hand it sucks to know that you're different and dealing with something others may never understand on the other it's a relief to know that there is something you can pinpoint in terms of what is making you feel like an anxious wreck i want to be clear that her treatment is not going to be an overnight thing i know she said she would work on it and i'm sure she will try but trust me when i say it's probably a herculean task for her to not tie your shoes i realize how stupid that sounds everyone who has ocd deep down knows how stupid what they are doing is but we cannot help it that switch of confirmation when something gets done never gets flipped for us that sense of uncertainty and doom if we don't do something the right way or perform a ritual is always lingering the only thing that helps with that is therapy and time so you'll need to give her time ocd never really goes away we just learn better coping mechanisms to talk ourselves down from needing to perform our rituals to be honest i think you should straight up ask her why she felt the need to tie your boots every night you explained it as her being a neat freak but that's not how ocd works at its core we do our rituals and compulsions because our obsessions make us feel like if we don't the world may very well end we know how stupid it sounds but again brain switches aren't wired rides so maybe try asking her again why it was she felt the need to tie your boots and be sincere and tell her you won't judge her if it turns out to be a really strange sounding reason from my ocd head i would probably do something like that because of my fear of you getting up at night tripping over your laces falling and cracking your head open and dying before you could get to the hospital does that sound ridiculously dire welcome to ocd but i have learned that sometimes certain things can help like when i lived with roommates i would have them check things before bed and reassure me stuff was off etc because in my head if anything wasn't off it was their fault rather than mine some other folks have described success with taking pictures so they can reassure themselves without checking the actual item etc so ask her and you can maybe figure something out that will bring you peace and bring her relief maybe something like you turning your boots to face the wall and tucking the laces inside them and reassuring her that the laces are put away i don't know just spit bowling here you don't need to fully understand ocd to sympathize and help your wife cope with it those of us with ocd don't fully understand it either because it feels like a curse nobody else takes seriously and because of that we go through a constant cycle of anxiety trying to fix that anxiety with compulsions then ridiculing ourselves for doing these rituals that we know are stupid as hell and the cycle begins anew viciously and without reprieve sorry to write a textbook but without even reading your update and only reading the original post i knew right away that she had ocd anyone who has an ocd meltdown can recognize the signs of it from a mile away it's just one of these illnesses that people on the outside really don't recognize because they think it's all book organizational and handwashing but on the inside those of us with it are trapped in our own endless feedback loops of anxiety trying to fix that anxiety and failing and defeat but there is hope in therapy and i hope she responds well to it you can do your part by coping with what she's going through surely there are some issues unique to you that she has helped you cope with the relief she's going to feel when she finally starts to break those ocd chains that keep her doing things is probably going to be palpable for both of you so please just do not ridicule her if she comes to you with stuff that sounds completely out of this world and celebrate with her when she finally starts working through her therapy i'm being shunned because i23mail stole a potential date away from my friend who's also 23 male throwaway account and all names have been changed i and my friends were invited to join a bottomless brunch with a group of girls on saturday in the uk quarantine has been lifted so bars and pubs are opened again and to celebrate we wanted to go out my friends mark's girlfriend jess invited us along even though we didn't know the group of girls we had made our own plans throughout the day bars are open but only bookings not walk-ins but decided to pop in and see them the group of girls we ended up meeting at brunch were all very beautiful and honestly i felt a little bit insecure i could say i'm more average looking but definitely not model material like some of these girls were anyway on arrival the group of girls were scattered around but my group of five settled in the booth with the girls left and we started casual conversations some girls were already pretty drunk and it seemed quite a fun atmosphere wanting to be nice i decided to get the jug of mimosa and give everyone top-ups as i got to one girl though she politely declined as she was only drinking orange juice my friends tom starts asking why she's not drinking and the girl explains that she just doesn't drink tom couldn't seem to understand why she'd come to a bottomless brunch and not drink and kept asking her why she wasn't drinking this girl handled his questions well and kept saying that she used to drink but doesn't anymore anyway things got awkward when tom finished with well you sound incredibly boring but this girl just laughed and said yeah i guess i am embarrassed for him i made a feeble apology before following tom back to our group it was then that we decided to head over to our own booking at a different bar i didn't bring up tom being rude as we didn't want an argument so just went on with the day the day was a lot of fun and a lot of drinks were flowing it wasn't until about 10 pm we decided to head elsewhere but it turned out a lot of places were shutting early annoyed my friend mark oh hi mark called his girlfriend to see where she was and jess told us she was heading back to her flat and for us to come back as well for an after party we weren't all that enthused as her flat was quite out of the way but decided that if we couldn't find anywhere to go we'd just go back to her flats jess ended up coming to meet us and asked us again if we wanted to come over telling us the girls from the brunch would be there it was then she got tom's attention and excitedly told him she just had to properly introduce him to her friend lily reason being tom is massively into motorbiking watching races and he rides himself and turns out this lily is also a motorcyclist this peaked tom's attention and he was eager to meet her so he wanted to go i on the other hand was more reluctant i am quite socially anxious anyway so didn't really feel all that comfortable going to a party with people that i didn't know but it was four against one in my group so off we went getting to the flat the group of girls were already there the majority of our group went off to mingle and the first thing tom says is where's the biker chick jess laughs and looks around the room before pointing at a girl standing on the terrace and as karma has it the girl that was pointed out to be lily the biker chick was none other than the girl tom had insulted earlier that morning tom's face dropped a bit and asked again if she was actually the motorbike girl and jess sensing something was wrong asked why tom tells jess what he said and jess just rolls her eyes and tells him he's an idiot lily is the most interesting person i've ever met that's why i thought you'd like her as she's into racing in motorbikes and from there jess proceeds to tell us that not only is she a motorcyclist but she's also a stunt driver and rider and also rally racers tom was flawed and still in his haste asked to be introduced the introduction went as well as you'd expect he went over with jess they were introduced asked if she minded standing out of the terrace with her to chat and lily turns and says nah i think i'll be too boring for you and walks inside tom obviously embarrassed but also gutted he screwed an opportunity with this girl just slinks back inside and sits in the corner though throughout the night he did try and offer lily drinks to which she declined telling him she preferred to get her own drinks later during the nights i somehow ended up talking to lily and honestly talking to her was nerve-wracking but also just really nice she turned out to be a really lovely down-to-earth girl with so many cool stories about what she does i mentioned i loved snow sports and she said she snowboarded it was basically just an ongoing non-stop conversation there was no awkward moments just two people enjoying one another's company and what really resonated with me was that usually at parties i needed to be drunk to have a good time or at least have a drink to hold don't know why but with my anxiety i need something to hold with lily i didn't need that and because she wasn't drinking i felt comfortable not drinking also it was such a pleasant feeling in the early hours of the morning as the party came to an end i built up the courage to ask lily on a date and to my surprise she said yes i was over the moon this beautiful cool girl that was way out of my league had agreed to give me her number i was practically giddy when we said our goodbyes and almost ran back to my group from excitement though that was short-lived as tom in his jealousy had been watching us talking most of the nights he started to berate me and did my pettiness asked him if she was too good for me why would she give me her number tom just about flew off the handle and demanded i give him the number as it was meant to be his i told him how ridiculous he was being but he wouldn't drop it by the next morning he told all of our friends that i'd stolen the girl away from him and what makes it worse is that everyone already knew jess wanted to set up tom and lily so now it seems that i got in the way intentionally no one heard his insult at brunch and no one heard him tell the truth to jess i keep telling him he screwed it up himself but i've basically been turned against i have even asked jess to tell people what tom told her which she did but the guys are now saying regardless what tom said i should have been talking tom up if lily was happy to talk to me i should have used that as an opportunity to talk about tom or at least invite him into the conversation if i go on this date i'll basically lose my friendship group it's ridiculous i think finding a girl like lily is one thing but to actually have a date with her is another thing altogether though i'm now wondering if i'm being selfish by taking away a date with lily which originally was meant to be tom's i just don't know if i should throw away all my longtime friends for a girl that i may or may not even end up being in a relationship with rey z says go on the date and have a nice time everyone is overreacting and this will blow over in a few weeks might i add find some new bro fans to hang out with this current group should be high-fiving you and razzing tom for being the douche nozzle that he is i'm a lifelong non-drinker i cannot tell you how many toms i've met over the years i've even had them try to spike my drink for a laugh oh my god that's terrible screw him and screw all of them not drinking is incredibly normal these days far more so than it was 20 years ago when i was a university student in the uk this is sweet karma and i'm very glad for op he is the instrument of it also tom has no claim to her lily decides who she wants to date she is not an object to call dibs on she's a person who decided she didn't want to talk to tom what is this middle school thank you since when can you call dibs on another person they have feelings and they get to be a part of the decision-making process of who they want to date it's so creepy these people have no respect or consideration for lily's choice she made it clear she doesn't like tom but they are treating her as if she belongs to him somehow after all he did was belittle her idiot friends there that's just gross and she's not property a man gets to cold dibs on i would just tell them once tom was rude and insulting to her and she wasn't interested in him she was not tom's girl to steal anyone who believes some bro code bullcrap that a woman is something to be budded or stake acclaim to can go kick rocks if things work out with lily her companionship is going to be far more fulfilling than anything tom could provide op that's for sure um to confirm this one with you you aren't in the wrong here why do i feel like tom is only heated because he is usually the one who gets the girls i guess his ego is hurt badly to be fair lily isn't an object so if she decides to go on a date with you that's her decision you're the one who didn't insult her and you're the one who actually was decent enough to get to know her properly if you both had a connection i would genuinely stay screw tom and take the chance tom will need to put on his big boy pants indeed tumble pie you're not throwing around your friendship tom is his entitlement for a girl he never originally liked is ringing alarm bells he should understand your pov and your character if he was a decent friend he would support you and want you to be happy you're exactly right tom has always been the ladies man whereas i've been the quiet one i guess he just can't stand the fact that his no game friend got the girl exactly he's thinking with two heads i'm a bit astounded at your friend's logic as well that's no fair at all and you're definitely feeding his ego they all need to get over the fact that lily isn't obligated to date tom and you aren't obligated to give tom the chance he screwed up this could really be your person opie take the chance and be happy posted by user throw ra fiance wait titled my 23 female fiancee 24 male has gotten way too overweight and i'm now having second thoughts about marriage so we've been together since we were 18. he proposed last april to which i was so happy about back then he was overweight by maybe 50 pounds he'd gained this over the course of college while it's of course not great it also wasn't a deal breaker for me i still enjoyed having sex with him and he was still active enough that we could live a normal life and have fun together since then he's gone on to gain nearly 100 more pounds in a little over a year he weighs over 300 pounds it is ridiculous at this point i completely understand eating a crappy cafeteria vending machine microwave diet when you're in college plus the stress in late night studying or partying where snacking is standard but this far exceeds that his habits did not improve after college they just got worse i've lived with him since our junior year and can attest that he eats far more junk food now not less despite me shopping and making healthy appropriately sized meals for both of us not complaining about that i actually loved cooking and trying new recipes i'm just pointing out that he won't eat healthy even though he doesn't have to put in any effort to do so also freak food delivery apps seriously no hate at all to the drivers trying to make some more money but on the customer end i feel like the sheer 24 7 instant access to fast food has almost become a crutch to him he has to order something almost every day never mind the hole it's drilling in our budget he can't seem to resist this constant availability knowing he can get whatever he wants whenever he wants it without even having to leave the house this far predates quarantine by the way i can feel my sexual interest dwindling by the day it feels horrible because i still love him for the person he is but the physical part just isn't there anymore it's a lack we both notice the problem is he's not particularly motivated to do anything about it because his sex drive has decreased in an inverse relationship to his weight gain he basically figures we're just equally not feeling like having much sex these days he doesn't connect that he's doing something to cause this it's not just a fluke and it's not only about his size either it's also his tendency to just sit on the couch on his laptop and snacking all day we used to do more things together i've tried many times to get him to do stuff i know he's interested in or used to be but he usually turns it down in favor of the internet i find it hard to find attraction to him when that's all he does with his day i've tried talking to him about all of this he alternates between saying that he's not overweight and saying it's not a big deal because he doesn't have any medical problems but he can't know that for certain because he hasn't been to the doctor in a while in general he sidesteps my worries by making jokes and acting really casual about it our wedding plans are pending due to covered but we decided we'll probably go ahead with just a very small official ceremony in september being so close to making this commitment to him as he is right now is seriously starting to give me pause i don't want my husband to be like this for the rest of his life i don't want him to die young i mean a hundred pounds in a year so where is he by the time he's 30 at that rate i'm not sure why he doesn't see a problem he seems content with how things are he says he isn't depressed and i haven't pushed it but did ask a couple of times and he didn't seem to understand why i was asking i do know depression or other mental illness can cause things like this and i know depression cannot always be seen by the people around you but we are quite emotionally open with each other he's never been a guy who struggles to talk about his feelings or problems so this is unusual to me he is caring towards me goofy and chipper is always in his daily attitude his hygiene is fine you wouldn't think anything was different if not for how he eats garbage and usually doesn't want to do anything that'd take him away from the computer or his phone for more than an hour could he still be depressed do you think what do i do about this if he's struggling with something i want to support him on the other hand if it's just laziness and not caring i honestly don't think i could deal with that if it never changed how do i tell the difference as harsh as it sounds you may need to sit down with him and tell him exactly what you told us stress to him that this is a huge deal for you and potentially is a deal breaker for you if things don't change sometimes we don't realize how bad things have gotten until others give us a reality check i wish you the best though how do i get him to take me seriously he's joked his way out of the conversation at least half a dozen times maybe i'm not being firm enough this alone is a red flag you two are unable to talk about a serious problem you are unhappy enough to end the engagement and he is either unaware or in denial about that this is a major disconnect and yes be firmer and more direct i am not happy and i am not willing to continue like this i want to cancel the wedding for now i want a life where we can engage in physical activities have a great sex life budget together and be on the same page we do not have that right now so you need to go to the doctor and address your physical and mental health we both need to go to a therapist to improve our communication and connection until those things happen the engagement is on hold this is a great way to state it do not get married please don't get married do not consider marriage until this is solved not a promise or plan an actual solution demonstrated it's not about the weights you were not on the same page about budgeting you weren't enjoying the same activities you aren't having sex you aren't communicating any of these issues would be enough to pump the brakes you guys need to solve all of these hit pause on the wedding get counseling asap if he doesn't understand this is a deal breaker be blunt and honest and direct until he listens yeah seriously there is so much wrong with this relationship and she is just having a hard time seeing it from the inside out hun it's bad from the outside in leave him find someone who can keep up with you who will be a part of the team and not dead wait it doesn't even sound like he respects you because he keeps just laughing off serious conversations jesus i actually ended an engagement over a problem like this of course we both gained a few pounds after graduating high school as most people do but he just got absolutely out of control granted the guy also let his hygiene go as well he became obsessed with world of warcraft and after i moved out he literally would sit in the computer room in our house eat and chain smoke we're cordial and friends on facebook right now because this was 10 years ago we have a lot of mutual friends but he never did get serious about taking care of himself and is now morbidly obese his teeth are yellow and he constantly just wears huge cut off tank tops camo cargo shorts and crocs this could be your chance to dodge that bullet you don't want to be 10 years down the road like far now i'm stuck with this izdimur says it's possible that he has an eating disorder and is addicted to the natural mental reward we receive when we eat he doesn't have any medical problems now but he will obesity leads to knee problems back problems hormonal problems decreased sex drive and heart disease i am currently obese and struggle with my relationship with food though i'm too lazy to do anything about it most days i at least know this is a problem that needs to be fixed i'm only saying this because i want to make sure you know i'm not some super healthy person being judgmental you need to be honest you don't need to be hurtful but you need to have an open honest conversation with him about how you feel if y'all are as close or in instinct as you claim then this should not be a huge feat you care about him and you are allowed to have standards you are allowed to want to do things and be upset when your partner no longer likes to do the things that you like to do you don't have the right to change them but you do have the right to talk to them about express your concern and move on if they don't match with you rp says i agree with this even if you weren't obese you would still be right is there anything that has ever helped you push past the laziness or anything i should avoid that would make it worse i would honestly avoid calling it laziness eating fast food is addicting like actually scientifically proven addicting our brains literally get a rush of dopamine when we eat crappy foods on a regular basis it's why it's so hard to lose weight for some people updates my fiance has gotten way too overweight and i'm now having second thoughts about marriage well here goes not a great update i took a number of suggestions on what to bring up to him and how to have the conversation about my concerns he did the usual thing of trying to brush it off i persisted much more than i have before eventually i got my wish he finally told the truth not easily mind you this was a several hours long ordeal he did not want to come clean about anything he has a weight gain fetish not me or someone else gaining weight which i already knew was a thing but him gaining weight he's been doing all of this on purpose for years he said the beginning was unintentional just eating too much junk at college then he realized he liked it he also realized if he let himself balloon too much i might bail he didn't want to lose me so he had enough self-control to keep it at a moderate level until i accepted his proposal last year that was apparently the green light he needed to throw restraints to the winds and start pursuing this fetish full speed ahead i never had a single inkling of suspicion the entire time i guess i can't blame myself for that because dramatic weight gain is usually for the reasons i assumed depression or stress or bad habits or just getting comfortable and not caring you never hear of sexual motivations i still feel like a complete and utter full like i got played hard this was not what i thought i was marrying into when if ever was he going to tell me he claims he would have when it was the right time but what does that mean next week i doubt it years in the future when we maybe have kids more likely oh and the reluctance to do anything requiring getting off the internet that i mentioned that's because he's posting in forums and discord fetish communities talking about it all these people share weight gain tips and compare progress pictures of their bellies and write pornographic role play stories i'm truly disgusted i've obviously been sat right next to him countless times while he's getting off in his own little world he has even discussed with random strangers how to keep me in the dark apparently the most common suggestion was play dumb and make it into a running joke so there's my explanation for why he's constantly dismissed anything i said unbelievable this has been going on right under my nose for years i really cannot fathom how i could be so clueless and that the person i thought i knew had the goal to not only intentionally make himself obese but to hide his motivations from me seek out advice on how to do that and lie to me over and over when i attempted to talk about my worry i expressed how i felt seriously betrayed like our relationship had been built on a false pretense without my knowledge he did apologize sincerely he said he would quote unquote try to lose weight and i asked him why he is only saying that now why did he refuse to discuss let alone change anything all the other times i asked what was up leaving me to be confused and worried instead he didn't have an answer he just begged me to give him one chance and promised he would stop and get healthier my problem is i just don't know if i can believe that and even if he follows through i don't know if i can get over being lied to for years i was so dumbfounded that i asked him to leave today the conversation was last night so that i could collect my thoughts he'll be back tomorrow night 100 sure i want to call off the engagement 80 percent sure i just want to bite the bullets and end the relationship screw this i absolutely love this man why did he have to do this damn not only did he actively deceive you about this he tried to trap you in a marriage so you would have a harder time leaving when he decided to pursue it that's pretty unforgivable there are better people out there who won't play with you like this completely agree he also gaslit her on the advice of strangers i think this could be viewed as a paraphilia and if he wants to change he'll need therapy to be honest i wouldn't stick around he's dedicated years to keeping up this facade lying to you until he feels you're sufficiently trapped and won't leave him that's abusive as hell it's so manipulative and devious i guess the question is could you ever trust him again can you trust that he doesn't have or will never have some covert desire to overfeed you secretly personally i would be unable to i'd also seek counselling for myself as you're feeling so conflicted and a safe space to explore and process your feelings may help i think the other question is even if he would never do it again would the marriage still be successful the lying aside and that alone would break a marriage he apparently desires this enough to lie and deceive her for years would he really be able to just give that up and still be happy i know some people can go without a fetish happily but this seems more like a compulsion that he struggles to control so even if he muscled all self-control and never gained weight again my guess is that he would feel unable to be his true self and grow increasingly more resentful of op for putting him in that position in the first place cue arguments and constant pent-up frustrations after five to ten years of marriage not a recipe for success at all not just this but he's based his whole life around this fetish lowered his life expectancy massively reduced activity this isn't just getting whipped by a dominatrix once a week this changed his whole life even if he hadn't treated her like crap he needs to either find someone who shares this fetish or get long-term help she should not be with him 69 quoted ben 420 reckons end it he had plenty of chances to come forth and be honest instead he purposefully kept you in the dark and was planning on not even telling you until you had already committed in the form of marriage and probably kids based off of the way that he handled this i cannot realistically see you being in a trusting healthy relationship with this guy where both of you are open honest and happy thank you this is exactly what the rational part of me tells me also what my mum said i ended a serious relationship last year after i found out my ex kept a big secret from me if it was so easy for him to lie for years what else was he lying about i also asked when he'd tell me the truth and he said i never planned on telling you i was just done and they also say pm me if you need an ear or a shoulder to cry on i've been there all right i think that's where we're going to leave today's episode guys i really do hope you enjoyed the content today if you guys loved watching it as much as i loved making it i would love for you to subscribe to the channel already if you haven't tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below maybe like the video who knows i'd also like to take this time to thank my awesome patreon and channel members without you guys you know i don't know what i'd do i'd probably be homeless on the streets of ireland crying irish dancing all over town it would just be a mess but now for real you guys are up on the screen now thank each and every one of you guys and if you personally want to join the club yourself there are links down in the description below there's also the join button next to the subscribe button small monthly fee but hey it goes a long way to help me create more awesome content well with that said guys i hope you do have a lovely day night sleep evening day at work day at school whatever you're up to i hope you keep awesome today you're looking amazing and i will see you in the next video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 22,177

Rating: 4.8763795 out of 5

Keywords: EntitledParents, entitled, parents, r/entitledparents, r/entitled, r/entitled parents, rslash, markee, markee reddit, markee entitledparents, r/relationshipadvice, relationship, advice, relationshipadvice, r/relationship, reddit, Markee, Markee relationship

Id: rZ_qc2u7H0k

Length: 134min 51sec (8091 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 15 2020