Reasons Why you're Still Single! r/AskReddit Reddit Stories | Top Posts

single people have read it what do you think are the reasons for you being single i can barely love myself let alone another person as rupaul says if you can't love yourself how in the hell are you going to love somebody else i know it's something a lot of us struggle with sometimes i just don't understand why my husband loves me so unconditionally despite all my flaws but then i have no problem understanding how i love him so unconditionally even though he is flawed and drives me bananas sometimes we often find it easier to forgive flaws in others than we do in ourselves but at the end of the day our relationship with ourselves is the longest one we have in life hope you get to a place where you feel about yourself the way someone else will someday if that makes sense i a i never learned how to flirt don't know what to say or how to approach woman i find a compliment goes a long way not a creepy compliment though just like your hair looks really nice today or that color on you is really nice i'm really shy when it comes to approaching people but always puts a pep in my step when i get a compliment that seems genuine by choice i don't really see the appeal especially in my age i'm 22 and i agree had multiple people want a date in the past year but i'm a young professional who wants to explore around and see the country so i don't want to be tied down relationships also tend to tame my friends i kinda like going to the bars pre-covered and shooting my shot and the rest of the game that comes with being single so i don't wanna lose that i didn't forward an email back in the early 2000s to break the curse you need to dig up that old email and bring the chain back to life because i'm insanely picky and end up falling for guys who are unavailable don't reciprocate meanwhile i blow off anyone actually interested in me because i think i can do better even though i don't yeah i suck i was the same way i was going after women who i didn't have a lot in common with they were just beautiful it wasn't until i found a beautiful one who shared my love of reading that i ended my decade long singlitude i wouldn't say you suck dating is hard i think mainly because i'm still in love with my ex-wife we divorced five years ago and not a day goes by that i don't think about or miss her on the plus side i have a lovely little dog who keeps me company i don't want to have this come off the wrong way but if you're not hanging out regularly with your ex-wife it's not her you're in love with it's an idea of how that appeals to you you need to get out and realize there are lots of interesting people whom you could love just as much if not more love that's not reciprocated isn't love it's fetishization poor social skills it's okay you will soon just make new friends maybe some even here on reddit i think there's subs for that maybe you could even wreck only for talking to the sx you prefer if you specify that you can't approach them ppl here are friendly and may help too shy and introverted to meet people let alone a boyfriend you will either meet another person just like you and it will be a perfect match just might take a while to get together if nobody does the first move out of china or you will meet someone who is the complete opposite and who will do all the work and chasing and that will also be a perfect match i'm actually excited for you there is a world of opportunities and i wonder which it will be i used to be painfully shy and used to freeze up with guys then i met my husband and somehow he just made me so comfortable that the shyness just went away because i can voice my thoughts without alienating my auntie or best friend from second grade i don't even have to check my inbox i can just be free to walk away from trolls and enjoy my day i shut down all my social media that made me feel like i had to be perfect to please everyone i know now if someone wants to invite me to a party or see pictures of my kid they gotta actually care enough to maintain contact with me it really cuts down on the cyber stalking and drama i've just realized it's never gonna happen i feel the same way but everyone just keeps saying it will happen one day myself i've held myself back to an embarrassing level for so many years just stupid t i convinced myself of like i wasn't worthy or it's not meant for me just stupid [ __ ] don't allow yourself to feed on negative emotions people i was there to uk for like a long time it was because my friends had fitness tea in my head and i was young when it was happening so i was like maybe they're right and it stayed with me cuz i accepted it and it took me one girl describing why i am good just to realize those kids were bullying me and i never looked at it that way they were doing it for fun and i thought it was true truth is almost everyone is worthy of love even the evil ones who aim to change are worthy of love and so are you the concept that you will either be with someone until you die or break up with them at some point are both equally as terrifying my main reason is i haven't had a crush on anyone in two years which sounds weird to me too but idk that's kinda it there's nothing weird about that i was single for two years before i met my girlfriend i wasn't exactly single by choice but i never met anyone who i felt was worth putting in the effort of trying to develop a relationship meeting her gave me all the motivation i needed it might not happen for you today or this year but it only takes one person to make you feel like the weight was worth it there's plenty of fish in the sea but i am afraid to go fishing there's plenty of fish in the sea double quote i can't swim no matter how much i try i can't get the hang of texting i prefer face-to-face conversations quarantine happened yeah that's the one i finally got face-to-face conversations down only to realize that the skill doesn't translate over to texting very well and now with quarantine i'm back to square one let me know if you ever figure that one out i'm not a nice person i value my own time more than sharing it with others if you're trying to be covertly flirty with me instead of being direct i'm just going to assume you're being friendly relationships take effort a combination of my average looks high standards and lack of confidence what i want out of a relationship is only something that people in their late twenties are willing to give it seems yes i'd like to see you more than twice a month yes i'd like to get to know you and meet your family everyone i've dated is against one of those for some reason so i'm quitting until i too am in my late twenties seven more years to go i have nothing to offer you know what it is interesting to realize that many many people think so but love needs the basic thing intimacy and damage you have that to offer the rest will adjust itself buddy all you have to do is to be a good person and a healthy partner most likely the lack of confidence when it comes to meeting new people i just can talk to someone i find attractive out of nowhere okay sort of relatable but i figure life is way too short to not shoot your shot with those attractive people because who says they don't see you the same way if you make a fool of yourself what's the worst that will come of it at the very worst someone will laugh at you if you're afraid of people laughing at you can't laugh at yourself then you have bigger issues to focus on if you're not bothered by laughs you have nothing to lose because i'm not confident enough i have a good job three bed house i have an active social life i am overweight but i genuinely think it's my lack of confidence is the main issue i'm in love with my best friend and just don't know how to tell her it's okay you will soon just make new friends maybe some even here on reddit i think there's subs for that maybe you could even wreck only for talking to women if you specify that you can't approach them ppl here are friendly and may help what's a three bed house i don't intend to fat shame but you should consider getting fitter cause at times human psychology states that one who won't care for their own health may not care about others it may affect it however it is your decision lack of confidence can be overcome d i d k what's the word for it because i got broken up with last weekend reasons are probably me not working hard enough and showing him how much he meant to me he said it's not on me but i feel like it is trauma asd ptsd depression low self-esteem and stable housing low income regular tobacco use obesity general unattractive appearance behavior asexuality spd it's okay though dealt with this around the early 30s and at this point just recognize that i'm in no position to be able to be an effective partner still weighs heavy on the heart and still remember my father always saying son there's someone out there for everyone yet as i've matured lived my life i realize that this isn't necessarily true but it's okay to be alone and the idea that one must find their better half is somewhat toxic i think it's more important to ground the self to find contentment in true solitude yet with no expectation of partnering it led to a much more healthy maturity always wanted to be a dad though because apparently i enjoy the agony of unrequited love more than the simple pleasures of a happy reciprocal relationship also whenever someone shows the slightest interest in me i immediately distance myself from them because what kind of weirdo would make such a bad call as wanting to date me right now i am focusing on raising my son my career and moving soon i am not looking for a man right now of course i will date later down the road when i am ready i have had bad experiences with dating so i am in no hurry because i don't believe human relationships should extend past the point of friendship i also have no desire to date marry or engage in sexual activities why emotionally gamble when i can learn to be comfortable with myself why waste someone's time if both of our life's goals desires are different because when i'm in a relationship i want to be single and when i'm single i want to be in a relationship i noticed this and calculated that i have more net happiness while being single than in a relationship so here i am single and happy i'm an extrovert with an attraction for introvert and really shy men i think i scare them when i approach stroke introverts aren't necessarily shy most of the time i just ignore people and then when i need to engage i try to be very active and friendly but i need to be on my own to recharge my social battery well for one thing i live in a small town and i'm barely 15. i don't think it's a good idea to date young chances aren't very good it's going to become something and when i date it's going to be to find someone i can spend my life with you can start a meaningful relationship pre-18 for example my cousin asked a grade 12 guy out when she was in grade eight and he proposed the other day after they've been a couple for a few years but generally i don't think you are going to get a meaningful relationship if touted young i'm annoying like i can even sense it myself why would someone be with someone annoying i won't yeah if i had a relationship right now i would only drag her down i'll date someone one day hopefully soon but i'm not rushing it at all my mental state nor my life is together enough to be engaged in a relationship it takes time energy and stability all things i can't give to another person at the moment i'm too sensitive and i cry a lot and overthink things and feel bad and guilty for the littlest things and try to make up for it and i don't i'm anyone type anyway i'm an overweight male in my early 40s with a mediocre office job living in a one-bedroom apartment i don't want kids and i don't like dogs i think wedding rings are a waste of money and while i would buy one to propose with i would never wear a wedding band because jewelry freaks me out i'm not a fan of tattoos or facial piercings i'm an atheist my romantic and sexual experience is extremely limited and on top of all that i think my penis is rather small i am never going to find a woman to love me i'm too shy and introverted so i don't talk to lots of people and i'm ugly lol myself got depressed because of reasons and the ex left me while i was on the road to recovery now i am afraid to love again because i always get hurt in some way even though i am free of my depression for some months now and i also keep thinking i am not worthy of someone i only want to enter into relationships with people that i can first be friends with but when i meet somebody who fits that i end up getting too afraid to lose that friendship if the relationship doesn't pan out or they feel a different way after i tell them how i feel oh boy i discovered i was asexual two years ago after my last relationship so it has been difficult to meet someone that is fine with that lifestyle i'm worried too intense i really care about others but i guess that can be read as a red flag when i realize that the girl i've been talking to actually likes me i stop being normal and begin to overthink everything she says and feel the need to talk to her all of the time i think it might have to do with my adhd it's f ked up more relationships than i could count ebh oh well aside from being unpopular and unattractive i suppose comma i don't really want to be in relationship with anyone because i just don't trust them maybe it'll change but right now idea of trusting someone who i don't know and trust well enough to hug as a greeting nah i don't have many friends i can't find a girlfriend i'm introverted and awkward i just don't talk to people even when i force myself to social situations i sit in the background trying my best to simultaneously watch but not steer because i don't want to seem any more creepy and unapproachable than i already do and all i do is think will i ever be that happy that's about it i'm not the type that can just start up a conversation i want to but i just can't i'm single by choice i saw enough by the time i was 25 to live my own single life way too much manipulation and trying to mess with each other's heads because of boredom within relationships i've seen people move on to a different place in their life after a while hate also seems to have its place in love i think i'm just genuinely confused about who i am do i like girls do i like guys i'm extremely tired of being hurt by both i just don't get what's so wrong with me i'm always playing the blame game is it my fault that every relationship i try to be in never lasts for some god forsaken reason i am only attracted to very beautiful woman i have no idea how this is because i spend almost zero time on social media or like receiving beauty standards i just am only attracted to ten out of tens it's a problem and i admit that i've tried and gone out with people i'm interested in but just end up treating them like friends as i feel zero for them i don't know how to fix this high standards education career ambition choice realization that life isn't just about [ __ ] and pea size but chasing something more give you satisfaction more than any man woman could ever give i'm short 5 feet two inches full guy can't flirt or read flirting signs to save my life and i don't enjoy large groups of people so i cannot meet someone the first two reasons make online dating difficult so i can't counter the last reason full stop i was immature for my age and always had more important life goals to me than settling down also had have confidence issues now i'm a 30 year old inexperienced female i'm scared the only kind of guys who want anything to do with me are weird puritans who think the oreo analogy is accurate and probably would require me to wear a long skirt guys who have some weird fetish about teaching me the ways of the bed legit had a guy tell me oh that's great it means you won't have bad habits in bed but in a creepy way or guys who would sleep with anyone who came along the latter is fine if that's what you're into but i'm not there are other mental blocks i have so it's also on me but seriously those have been the majority of my experiences with guys i also had a guy tell me he would not take a virgin to bed though i'm starting to believe that was his very weird way of saying he was not interested in dating me which i was not even asking yay weird experiences maybe i should become the crazy cat lady much easier that way only have to worry about cats and dogs [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

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Id: Kg0jfMOtXqU

Length: 19min 22sec (1162 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020