Re-Living Our Most Embarrassing Moments - The TryPod Ep. 100

ramble thank you to hellofresh mizin me undies and doordash for sponsoring today's episode of the tripod we did it everybody we got 100 episodes oh boy yeah we're making everybody laugh on the road if you're in your car right now but if you're on your camera all right that was today's episode guys picture thank you so much five stars we're canceling the show we love you all we'll see you on uh guilty pleasures we're just kidding this is our 100th episode of the tripod so exciting we're so happy to be here it was also my episode of the tripod i thought i was going to say your birthday i was like shut the [ __ ] up no you know it's my birthday's after yours we have enough episodes to be syndicated that's oh my gosh oh we are friends yeah also just want to get to 100 episodes that way they can play reruns on tbs yeah you can get checks forever and ever oh we should play the tripod on tbs how do we make that happen on tbs i do have a youtube tv now i finally bought it so i do have like a cable package and i've watched a couple things on cable and it is fun you know when you're like i don't want to watch on netflix it is fun to go see what do people watch on tv at this time what is on right now and it's a lot of movies movies playing on tv is a huge thing especially on the weekends it always has been but like when you go and you see it now it's crazy i feel bad the kids these days they won't know the joy and the frustration of watching one movie over the course of four hours on tv with all the good commercial words did you guys know when you watch snl live it's a 90-minute show yeah it's forever it's an hour and a half i also got youtube tv because of the football season um pretty expensive i don't know i might cancel it but uh it's expensive i think it's a crazy expansive packages personally it's like i probably should have done like this i should have just added it to my phone i might i don't watch half these channels i know uh but did you guys you guys know that some news channels are 24 hours he's like they always talk about 24 hour cable news and i'm like [ __ ] they're really out here feeling like every single hour of the day with [ __ ] news stories yeah it's kind of which are not [ __ ] obviously that's kind of what's destroying the world i know what's destroying the world but we don't have too much content we have a hundred episodes of the tripod yeah yeah eugene's here too yeah i saw the look on your face we almost got to a dark place thinking about how news is i was like no no no no no no no no stay happy that's true but you know uh you can watch live football pause it rewind it mix it up crazy apparently this technology has existed for so long too yeah it's pretty dope i had no idea this was our 100th episode it it really is quite shocking to me but we've got enough stuff planned keith well i have like a couple things planned a game uh kind of a game i guess it could be a game no because it's my episode of the tripod and i have been thinking about things that i really like like maybe if maybe if i've like smoked a lot of weed on a saturday and i'm thinking what do i like the most in life what is like what is one of my driving things one of my driving things is music and i know that we love music but i was thinking like i bet we all have both positive and negative stories that are very interesting at different parts of our lives about music could be like when you did a music recital as a child or being forced to take piano lessons you have a crazy piano lesson teacher i think music is something that's so ingrained in us and we don't think about how many memories we actually have related to music wow a million just flooded to my memory yeah i know i was thinking like zack's gonna have a million he's he's been living in the music industry since he was a child but wow uh there's lots lots of that and more we also might even talk about the reboot of the rugrats for a moment because that's coming back and i'm excited about it and i bet you will touch on bathtubs and eggs because it is our 100th episode after all and more on today's episode of the tripod but first we gotta make a little money [Music] you say goodbye and i say hello fresh that's right hello fresh you know hello fresh you get the fresh pre-measured ingredients and mouth-watering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door hellofresh lets you skip those trips to the grocery store and makes home cooking easy fun and affordable and that's why it's america's number one meal kit you know sometimes you've got busy days today is a really busy day for us we've got some shoots in the afternoon so when i get home it's going to be really great for me to already have dinner kind of planned right everything's going to be ready i can pull it out of the packaging i can chop it on up and make a delicious meal without really thinking about it without worrying without having that dreaded conversation of what do you want for dinner i don't know what do you want for dinner they have healthy options so it's never been easier to eat locale carb smart vegetarian pescatarian options every week so go to hellofresh.com tripod 12 and use code tripod 12 for 12 free meals including free shipping so much freedom that's hellofresh.com tripod 12 and use our code tripod 12 that will get you 12 free meals and free shipping [Music] all right welcome back uh okay so let's talk about uh music my first question to everybody music was did you have to take lessons in any instrument as a child yes what was it piano how old were you what was three three to ten three years old yeah you were you were my mom my mother was a concert pianist all right yeah she went to college for piano did you ever go see her play no because we i was born in in podunk texas where she made her money as a tutor so she wasn't like you know playing concert halls she became a homemaker after after she she immigrated here did she give you piano lessons oh and that's the reason i don't know how to play piano i didn't want to do what my mom was trying to make me mom rather than the hot piano teacher yeah did you have a hot piano teacher no i didn't but i think i would have stuck with it if i did yeah i feel like a smoke show yeah i was in middle school and it could have been a great opportunity for me to really like piano honestly hot music lessons is an industry like hotties teaching like trombone and like hotties teaching harp like that i think there's a business thing there's like all of our private lessons are the hottest college students who know how to teach yeah i did piano until i was about sixth grade did you like it or did it was it just i liked it okay but it started out as something i had to do so as a you know you know once i kind of developed my more own interest i wanted to do that more same with like with tennis my dad plays a lot of tennis and i was doing tennis lessons ever since i was a little kid and then around middle school i was like i kind of like soccer more but i think part of that was because it was like soccer was my thing yeah tennis always feels like sam with pm my mom loves playing piano you know you don't want to do your parents thing you want to kind of find your own thing that's true i just realized that ned and i are wearing these like easter tie-dye shirts and you're both wearing dark denim it's a very funny uh contrast yeah all right we'll be super positive and bubbly this whole show you guys can be moody reserved yeah i so my brother brian took piano lessons and i don't know if i was offered piano lessons and denied them but i did not get piano lessons and i in my memory they just decided i didn't need them i think are there music lessons i never had music lessons as a child not until i was in seventh grade and that's when you started french horn yeah i switched from trumpet to french horn because the high school band director who is also middle school band director said keith we will give you a french horn to use from the school and i will teach you how to play french horn over the summer if you'll switch to french it's kind of weirdly that's cool decision that changed the course of your life right 100 percent i and going into college i thought i was going to be a professional french horn player yeah like i spent so much time like i practiced french horn every night by myself always like for hours and like i play and i now i think of it from my parents perspective french horn's a loud instrument and sometimes i would do it in the [ __ ] living room while watching tv and just running scales are there any soft instruments though i feel like they're all loud acoustics i guess you're right everything's kind of [ __ ] loud you can only make so much noise out of a flute but they're so shrill i mean my little sister played drums and she was not good and it was [ __ ] loud and we didn't have her tucked away in a basement it was just a little folding wall so i'd say that is a nuisance number one but what i'm impressed with you is like it's really hard at any age to have the discipline to practice that's that's what doomed me uh with all the instruments that i played and but you stuck with it which i don't know where that comes from i think it was because a lot of my playing was figuring out how to play popular songs on the french horn so like i would like listen to what the high school marching band was playing they had like the school fight song stuff like that and i would learn it and i would learn it in the wrong key i would learn whatever key i could play i would just learn the fingering charts of it and i would just play it and i would just be like yeah exactly we were the owls but in the south everyone said al's so it's very funny something a bunch of guys named al running out in the field but yeah i really stuck to it and then i started doing honor bands and solo and ensemble which is where you go by yourself and you go and you play and there's a wall so you can't see someone you just play a piece you walk in and say hi my name's keith and i'm going to be playing constant rondo by mozart and then you play it and then they say thank you and then you leave and then later in the day you get a grade and you get a trophy related to that grave is it [ __ ] raining it is it's raining yeah rain shocking are you crazy dark out guys there's paper over the windows i opened the window i couldn't really see that it was i couldn't tell because of the the glare from the light i'm like it's [ __ ] black outside guys it was like night time outside uh that was shocking my fondest memory though of playing the french horn yeah my whole life was when i was a junior in high school so this year you know i have a car and i had a really shitty minivan and my friends in the high school band we had a brass quintet so it was me uh van bryant les mcdonald trent johnson and hank replogle those feel like a motley crew characters oh [ __ ] less always getting no less is awesome he's actually the only one of us who is actually professional instrumentalist oh cool he's a great trumpet player uh cool guy and he was also one of the only like black kids in carthage so i think it's you know he was he was very cool and strong because i'm sure it was very hard for him growing up in that southern town especially like pursuing art and like being so good at it uh but he's dope but we did a thing called brass quintet in a van and we would load up into my van and we would go and park outside of apartment complexes or at the grocery store parking lot or the walmart parking lot and we would part we'd sort of screech in me driving and we'd park in a spot we'd fling all the doors open and our tuba player was in the trunk so we had someone had to run out and open the trunk for him we'd play a song and then we'd scream go go go go go and slam all the doors and speed off like we just pulled a heist but all we did was play a piece of classical music in the middle of a parking lot or an apartment complex people loved it it was a very fun way to spend your saturday and also it was good practice we were actually practicing things we needed to do for a solo and ensemble for other things this is you in high school it was me in high school yeah it's way more big piece [ __ ] i mean i was probably was a piece of [ __ ] too but that was one thing we did that was so funny it was just a more fun way to practice and i think that is something like if you want to be good at instruments uh you need to find fun ways to practice or at least ways that like you are having fun while practicing that might even just be watching tv and running your scales it's sort of the same as like people who watch tv and run on a treadmill like you can kind of do both i played guitar i played trumpet i got too lazy to do either whoa uh but i you know i was in the allstate band for a while for trumpet i did that thing which is not that good yeah how old are you young it was like from elementary to middle school is that less good yeah of course yeah but it's still still pretty still topics it means you have to go audition you audition and you got placed into a state honorable there are two uh recital memories that jump to mind uh one where i was just the coolest [ __ ] one where i was not so we had this this uh band recital and uh we had to do a jazz standard and at each at one point each of us had to get up and just do a solo and it was based on our knowledge of music theory and scales solo a jazz solo and i'm like wow maybe in sixth grade oh my gosh i i'm on the cusp of puberty it's tough i do i have been i've not been practicing i am like i am definitely the runt of the the band litter i am like my buddy chohan who was so good at trumpet would always just like laugh at me while while we were playing because i would just i would skip notes i'd let him carry me and i was shameless about it right it was it was towards the end of my career but we were doing this recital and i spot my crush just like front row she's there and i'm like i gotta go but i i'm freaking out i am like sweating are you wearing a cool hat i'm probably a little fedora you know i wasn't but like let's just picture yeah picture a maroon vest what was your name name drop my crush uh leia leia that's good that's a nice name yeah what's that says mary's is there a star wars star wars connection no no no it's spelled like that you're thinking about it a little bit yeah now though right yeah yeah yeah she's blonde and what was cool about her did she have like a cool style yeah it was cool i was like i think i i wrote about her in our book but i changed the name all out truth's out i um i did that thing where okay god we're getting off music i i believed in grand romantic gestures as a kid but not actually like talk i was too afraid to talk to her oh so i like went for valentine's day i got this whole package for her like teddy bear the chocolate she had a boyfriend oh my god i gave her a girl i gave her the gift thinking like that would win her over oh my god and it didn't and by the way i did that like multiple more times i wonder you wrote about this in the book it was you guys didn't read my job yeah but like i skimmed it uh so anyway i see leia and i'm like i gotta i gotta just just go for it and so i hadn't been practicing i don't know what to do but i got up and i just started [ __ ] wailing just like going crazy because like everyone else was trying to go like burn like they were trying to follow a note progression not me baby i was just going nuts it worked really people just she came up to me right afterwards and she was like that was incredible i'm not leaving my boyfriend for you but that was amazing my band teacher was like dude where did that come from and i'm like yo i quit oh that's the best song i get away with this once in my life but i am getting out of here and never return then you switch to performing arts yeah and i'm like oh i want to be a rock star but i don't want to practice i'll do a viral video career and and pretend to be a rocket that will produce a show where we dress and act like rock stars it was so stressful but i pulled off the heist wow i mean that's i don't know how you did that either it's quite challenging to play jazz because the you do have to have a good understanding of basically every measure is going to be a different chord yeah and you have to play within the chord or you at least have to land your your runs on the base note or some note that makes sense in that chord so it's actually fairly challenging i wish we could flash back to watch it and it turns out i sounded like the opening of soul in pixar where it's just like a good confidence mess and everyone's like yay probably [Music] nobody really cares what it sounds so was this in the jazz band the whole thing probably sounded bad yeah because jazz band was hard to get to in my high school or this was like the all-state ban thing i was i don't know that's what it was called i wow so wait you also did all state i didn't know you did all state i always played oboe okay this is giving me stress because i just realized it was stressful i realized how stressful how i think i've just blocked my memory how much i worked as a child you did a lot yeah my average day during high school was um started at 5 am and i got home at 10. every day when did you have time to watch dragon ball z homework [ __ ] [ __ ] weekends one thing i wasn't good at was homework because i was just like uh bell curve baby still got better grades than other kids yeah so i did oboe from sixth grade to ninth grade but i stopped in ninth grade because you had to do marching band in texas yeah so it was a requirement because uh we had one of the best marching bands in the state actually it's a requirement if you're in the band or just in the band okay yeah um actually a requirement if you're serious about band like because the best people got into the marching band which my sisters did uh my little sister did bassoon so she ended up doing bass drum my older sister was a clarinet player we were very involved kids it's it's not in the asian stereotype thing because i don't want to push that but it was like i was good at art so i said okay i'm gonna be like try to prove to my parents that i'm good at this by doing everything and so i i didn't want to do marching band because you had to wake up at 4 a.m every day in the fall and the reason i couldn't do that because i was on the swim team where you had to already wake up at 4am then i had to stop the swim team because i took zero hour classes to get more credits which started at 5 45 a.m with that you could swim in the afternoon so i was already like dead and then so what i did in high school was i switched from band and i did choir in theater and now for quiet theater there's three shows in the year i was involved in all of them yeah yeah and i started choreographing all the shows for both oh boy and on top of that i had yuletide choir during the winter time it's where you dress in dick you know also sometimes called madrigals madrigals yeah right i was big in the yuletide scene did you go door-to-door door-to-door but to like you know business parties you go to like like the downtown is having like an open house like a fair and you'll go stand in front of the courthouse dressed like you're from the past and exactly acapella versions of classic hymns and you'll sing all five verses of it which no one's ever heard but again that was cutthroat because you there's only two of every um you got two tenors two bases two sprandos and two altos who made the made the group so i would say like at least once a month i was in a high tension audition for either a play or a i was i guess i was just a really [ __ ] artsy kid i liked with me like i just wasn't artsy but music was constant yeah because then i go home i'm [ __ ] just playing piano all the time [Music] you guys like 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over to mizin.com try guys for 20 off your first order that's s e n dot com slash try guys for 20 off your first order meizin.com try guys [Music] all right so i definitely relate in that so in tennessee because the only thing i did marching band because that was like the only place to perform at that time and also we had a good march man it was fun i enjoyed it i played the concert band but doing like the solo and ensemble was like that was my only chance to go be like compete in a state tournament at all that was like my high school careers like that's how i get accolades that's how i will prove that i'm good at something but in tennessee we have mid-state and then all state and like the first year i did mid-state like i did kind of well and i got like an alternate in all state and then the next year to miss it i did like bad and i was in the second second band so still good i still like was in the top 20 french horn players in that region that's pretty good but then i went to illinois and to go to illinois this the high school that i went to neuqua valley high school had five levels of band and you had to audition and i had to send in a tape to the school height the public high school i was going to go to to get slotted into the band and i got fourth chair in the top band and i was ecstatic they were playing harder stuff than i'd ever played in allstate but then when i went and did the regionals for our like imei that's what it was called the their mid-state equivalent i got like uh high enough that i got like six chair but it was high enough that i got to go to allstate too now i did the all-state audition and i'm like i've never been in allstate like that i had earned my way in the other time i was like an alternate and got chosen in and i earned my way in and i did the blind audition and i thought like i did okay and i went and they post it on a [ __ ] bulletin board just like a high school call sheet and i went and i was like i didn't do that great so i like started at the top of the second band and i went down i didn't see my name and like [ __ ] i didn't even make it bad it's like no i messed me up in the first band so i looked at the bottom of the first band and worked my way up and i was [ __ ] first chair what in the all-state orchestra was like i was i was the best you were the best i [ __ ] i did it i was the best i've never been the best it was exciting wow yeah it was really cool your senior year yeah it's been downhill ever since yeah everything yeah yeah college was so much easier than high school oh my god it was yeah feels easier it's just you were in control of your own schedule a bit more so you didn't have to try hard unless you wanted to yeah but like if i had to get like straight a's all through college like high school it's like that would have been hard yeah i think that's what it would have been but it's just pleasure was like the pressure was off you're like yeah i gotta be whatever i did some more theater this semester for me too also my college was like i was only taking classes that i was interested in i once i got to college i didn't take a single math class i didn't take it they didn't make you take general education no we had to so so it was for me it was like all film film theory and then like evolutionary biology like like uh uh like kantian theory literature [ __ ] like that where i'm like oh cool i can dive into this yeah and for you ned like i guess they wanted you to be a chemical man so like in college there's like you probably should still be really good at this whereas in theater i was like i mean i'm gonna do my best but it doesn't really suit me i don't need to do that yeah yeah real difference of uh difference of scale you know like you can really fuss your way through a lot of the the liberal arts classes art is a little more objective it's just like science all a minuses for a minuses for days if you had subpar work but like if you just didn't know the answer on a chem test you just didn't get it right yeah i you guys told a lot of fun stories about theater and music and and i did all that too you know i would say my school had a little bit more like nepotism where uh the seniors always got the leads oh of course so when i was a senior i was leaving everything i was just like but this is my right like it wasn't i don't know there was never a if a freshman got like even like a speaking role it's like who's that oh yeah they're one to watch typically that happened in our school shout out to daniel emond who came in in my grade and just rocked the system and the people who had put in their years above them it's like sorry bro danny's on the scene now but one thing uh i did a lot that maybe maybe we haven't talked about yet is i did all of these academic competitions where you go like i did science competitions i did math i was a mathlete uh and it was just like so fun like you would go on a saturday like take a test and then just be like [ __ ] i got all the questions right and you did you know it's like you would prove that you were better than other schools wait wait were you taking it like you go into a room and quietly take a test that would be half of it and then then there would be like a group problem solving one so like here are three mysterious liquids of different densities you have a ruler a pencil and a piece of scotch tape how are you going to determine the densities of the liquid okay that sounds fun because i'm picturing the scene from mean girls where the limit does not exist but the first part you just said is that you willingly took extra tests that is crazy but you think about it if you're really good at standardized tests like i was and probably still am it feels awesome because you just know most of the answers and then you get like rated at the end and you prove you're better than [ __ ] balls and episcopal [ __ ] private school [ __ ] anyway i was a bad mathlete like i didn't go to all the meetings you know you're bad but i was so naughty i still when they were like hey we have a competition you want to come i was like yeah okay i'm free and so i got put on the second team there are four people per team but there was only five mathletes so i was sitting at a table by myself doing the group competition and uh it was so sad i was very upset i was like i should have come to more meetings i could have been with all the other people but then in this group competition they would call out after each question who got it right wow it was like stanton one stand two i was stand two and it would be like and this question uh stanson two got it right and like uh the four tier one athletes would look over at me like yes did you get that right yes and i ended up by myself getting a better score than my entire rest of the team had come to all the meetings he's a loose cannon but he's the best we got but i mean there were some schools that were really good at mathletes we could always dominate the science competitions but like never never going to be freaking nice and math i love music yeah my both of my brothers did the math competition and they were really good so everyone was like well keith's gonna be really good and i was like pretty good at math but i was not the best at standardized tests especially i was good at standardized tests like in terms of like just taking tests at at the school but when it was like came to like a ct test and like those kind of tests i i don't know why my brain just broke and that's a common thing with a lot of like kids i think and i did terribly and they were like ah okay well maybe maybe maybe you won't go next year and i was like that's all good it was a fun trip we got to go on a school bus so we went to some college and we took a test and we got mcdonald's so it was still a good memory i got a music store yeah yeah so okay i gotta i gotta explain one thing i have a lot of really sad stories about my childhood being bullied but that's like there's like baby eugene i went through like many pokemon evolutions even before graduate high school i was like baby eugene natural personality then he got bullied because people found out i was asian and then i was like then i thought i kind of got a grip of that and then i was like oh [ __ ] i'm gay and then i got real [ __ ] awkward in middle school and then there was this like butterfly moment in high school towards junior senior year where the investment in art really paid off because although band is really expressive i could sit and play oboe not necessarily you know gain this a certain amount of confidence as a shy person that i did being in school plays or singing and dancing so um now i'm like uh this is floating back so there are multiple opportunities between uh theater and choir uh where we basically put on our own performances many of them just student design like the last into the require show is like people auditioning with their sets with group numbers done by the teacher but the rest are chosen numbers that students audition for so i always got a piece which was always used in the two times i did it i did cell block tango which was very controversial because they said they said don't put them in these costumes and i said put them whenever i want me and my friends we're gonna be real real sexy uh they said don't do the spread eagle still made them do the spread eagle we're like 17. yeah i got uh i got what's it called like people complained like the parents complained about me too hot i was just yeah i was like this is the way i'm gonna rebel i think and then the senior year i did a number from the number of freaking [ __ ] cell block tangos i saw at state were just oh my more than three because mine would come after like someone doing off a him dude i mean this was like a variety show so you have like a hymn someone doing like selena someone doing um i don't know uh old texan uh country diddy and then cell block tango wow um and then the thing i just remembered was uh senior year you can um basically audition got so many auditions growing up i just had a general high school public high school i was like five five thousand plus people we had something called um mr phs so they eliminated the women's pageant because we've got too vicious between the girls so they were like we're gonna do a men's pageant so it was a men's pageant if you're senior you auditioned to become a representative of a group so i became mr thespian society and you had a talent portion so much unfair so my talent portion was a sort of baby one more time inspired me and like all my friends who could dance dressed in schoolgirl schoolboy outfits wow but it was pointedly making fun of a teacher that had denied us to get other race-based organizations because diversity society was enough so our school actually shut down oh whoa getting like a black specific asian-specific specific we were all part of diversity club yeah so then this this sketch i did was the teacher one of my friends doing impersonation of this teacher who was in the audience and then us rebelling ripping up our papers throwing it up and then we do like a missy elliott performance and the best part is you used to like marshall yeah i got in trouble for that too you ballsy [ __ ] like this was my i'm like i look like yeah senior year was great and then i went to college and it was it was like another back to zero um but that was when you had to like sometimes do cds or record on a cassette if you were doing something so i had a cassette tape and towards the end of it we did a break where we had people break dancing and stuff and the tape started stuttering and pausing and as it did it all of us naturally froze whenever it stopped cool everyone lost their [ __ ] yeah like the audience went [ __ ] wild and i ended up winning i just remembered they had one they had one interview question to to snag the title with the final three and mine was what's what's the best ice cream flavor yeah ask me all right mr yang what is your favorite ice cream flavor what's the best ice cream flavor neapolitan because all the colors should be equal to white i don't know what that means i don't know what that means yeah i guess i was i was that was that was my senior year i was very involved i was not partying i don't think i went to any parties in high school but i think i was liked in the high school by that point i think by then yeah absolutely you let a revolt on stage and then and also like you reference the the diversity scandal with ice cream incredible great i think you're so cool don't worry about it it's your own journey i don't think i ever talk about those stories no i forgot about them because i was so mad about race issues growing up in texas but i had no way to express them except through the stage and i still got so many like people i remember the parents were so mad yeah because i you know i mean okay the spread eagle was a lot they were just like eugene whatever you do don't say screw in the milkman say seeing the milkman uh don't do the spready goal don't so i was like okay because you know in the choreography in the movie especially she opens her legs he's holding her so they look like they're 69 so i was like okay what if i had him hold her upside down and she did a front split instead of a middle split so i had her do that it still looked the same yeah classic censorship though right like they censor you and then so you figure out how within your art within the system to still say [ __ ] you guys this next sponsor changed my life okay yeah me on these me undies our undies have been transformed they always want to know what's on my ass right now i just they're so soft it's like where has this technology been all of our lives how come we have not all been wearing the undies forever they designed a membership that not only saves you 30 on each order but delivers a fun new pair of undies or socks to your door each month you can control your shipments you also get early access to their most exclusive prints and now that everyone is work from home they also offer really soft loungewear perhaps the softest in the world fill your closet with things you actually want to put on that's what you should do if you're at home be cozy and me undies has a great offer for our listeners for any first-time purchasers you get 15 off and free shipping me undies also has their problem free philosophy if you're not satisfied with any product for any reason they'll refund or exchange it no caveats no questions so to get your 15 off your first order free shipping and 100 satisfaction guarantee go to meundies.com try guys that's me undies dot com slash try guys [Music] big victory moments are like so crucial to you especially in high school having something to point to and be like yeah whether that's a soccer game that you won and you just [ __ ] didn't expect to win or anything i think when you have those like big achievements it makes you feel like [ __ ] paul you're remembering yeah you remember like daddy's in my head like zack's jazz solo exactly that's exactly right save jazz suck it la la land you overcome you overcame and you did it and it i i've got a handful of those moments in my memory but like do you guys have any other pivotal adolescent victories well you have your adolescent victories you also have your adolescent failures oh that's true that's true too that's that's where my mind's taking me right now while you think of victories so uh i i didn't do choir much but in elementary school i think you were required to from like up until third grade and so in first grade we had this very specific dress code where we all had to wear white button-downs for whatever reason i hated button-downs i thought they were the most constrictive nerdiest i just i i wouldn't be caught dead like it like choked me i just i hated it so i just decided i'm just not going to tell my mom i'm just going to tell my mom that i don't need a white button down we don't own a white button down so which means i had to borrow it from the englanders to get to get it i'm not going to tell her so now it's like those people from england no no no just my just my good friends okay yeah yeah i i see how that's gonna be something like a good netflix show yeah i would watch it the englanders are they're from england english right no that's the controversy yeah they're pretending to be from england they're actually where i'm stuck on this why are they called england that's their last name oh their last name or something i'm sure at one point they came from england but they didn't have british accents right and so about like i lived right across the street from the middle school so it was like five minutes to go run over and so my mom's like wait what do you have to wear and i'm like oh i don't guess a white shirt or something and she's like what exactly so she puts me in a white t-shirt that is stained oh no there's no time and then so i put on a little black blazer and i'm pissed off and i get to the school everyone is wearing a white button down every and in my mind i was like it's not going to be a big deal like eh you know hit or miss because was this a special occasion or was this it was like this was a rare day of school oh this is a recital yeah yeah yeah my teacher takes one look at me she's like zach what the [ __ ] i don't think she said [ __ ] uh but i'm like this is what i have and she's like well take take the jacket off i'm like i can't she's like take the jacket off i'm wearing a short sleeve white shirt that has like some sort of like berry stain and she's like she just sighs she's like goddammit i went to school for this i care so much about singing art and i'm trying to teach this [ __ ] first grader how to sing hot cross buns put the jacket up so we have a photo of the recital and everyone a sea of whites and me in the front row wearing a black blazer it is so and i feel like that story says so much about me where i am rebellious for stupid reasons i i demand to do things my own way um and then suffer for it and there's a picture too i i connect with that so hard just not knowing you have to do something and not telling your parents and be like no i'm well so i had when you said humiliation about being a little boy that reminded me so there was there was a camp and i didn't go to sleep away camp ever but there were day camps i wanted to go to and i was not a sporty kid but i was bigger than all the other kids so everyone was always like miles don't you play sports don't you play basketball and i didn't really and then uh and you know especially in middle school and then once i was in high school i played ultimate frisbee huge [ __ ] shout out so there was camps and my neighbors were going to this cool camp they were like it starts in crass you do archery do all this stuff i was like that's so psyched so my parents were like awesome we'll sign you up for the camp in town that's the arts and crafts camp we drive up on day one we're taking the other kids we pull up to the this gym you [ __ ] your pants and i was like oh [ __ ] my pants no we go to the gym i bet i get out and i'm like all these kids are [ __ ] jocks this is clearly not the right camp my dad would sign me up for the wrong camp so i walk in and we're like signing at my dad's like this is the right camp and the other kids in the car like we don't go to this camp we go to a different camp so somehow i see all these kids i'm so intimidated my dad reneges on that camp signs me up for the arts and crafts camp we go in the middle of the arts and crafts camp there's a basketball day and we're gonna play that original camp in basketball so i'm like so i'm like nervous because i think they're what they're going to recognize you i know where they're going to recognize me i'm just intimidated by their vibe they were jocks they were like the boys and the girls are jocks they're like sports the kids who play sports in school and are now doing it in the summer i like wanted to do shoot a bow and arrow and go home of course yeah so we're there we're playing and they put me in and i'm like i'm not gonna be very good they put me in the basketball game these kids by the way are heckling from the gym it's like disrespectful they're having fun like this is what their vibe is they love it they're having so much money they're just like they're laughing i'm sweating i'm so nervous and finally i'm in the game and like there's a play and i'm like oh oh my god the ball's right in front of me it's my time to grab the ball i grab the ball i'm in front of everybody else i'm going i'm going i'm going i shoot the ball i [ __ ] score i get it i get it i hear cheering oh my god i'm the only one on that side of the court it's the wrong goal oh you scored on yourself the wrong goal everyone else is like what the [ __ ] are you doing i all the kids are laughing literally a wall of children laughing at me oh my god i couldn't be more ashamed that is still today miles you're just a memory erupted and that's going to cringe even harder i don't know that i need a minute what else do you what do you have to talk about i was like i was uh like swimming soccer talking about yeah soccer uh this was more elementary school so but like you know just around the age where it's getting competitive the parents are actually a little serious yeah so we were in the finals my team oh and it was down to like fourth quarter quarter fourth second half second half depends um like literally 30 seconds left and i'm a forward and i have the ball and i'm one of the best shooters on the team and i am sprinting with it down towards their goalie and the person i'm like being tailed by one of the other uh the opposing team and this person who tries to like get it away from me he trips and just face plants and i'm literally and this is just was my personality i stop and turn and help him up oh what and we're tied and then the goalie kicks the ball no one was everyone was chasing us there's one guy in there the other in the field and they [ __ ] scored oh that hurt that was getting hard and i was like that one doesn't make me cringe because i just stopped and i was just like are you okay classic kid thing i was just like are you okay do you need help and he was like oh i'm okay you know because he face planted yeah my natural instinct was like i gotta help this human yeah but i was like my leg was back ready to [ __ ] bend it like beckham you know sports are supposed to teach i had never seen life skills yeah i think you picked up a good idea i have no reason to get away from your goddamn life i was like i'm mad i was like he messed up and it was funny [ __ ] up what could have been the coach never looked at me the same way again i believe it i was once his star player and it was just that was how you are i trained you to not have a conscience i mean that's not the time you have a conscience yeah we started with the joys of childhood art and now you've just ripped my heart open sports sports trauma which is the defining traumas of my childhood it's oh man the only sports trauma that like i still really remember maybe i'll remember another one as we talked was just that we had there was little little league in minor league and i don't remember i think little league was where they pitched and hit like the kids would throw and hit and then minor league was when there was a pitching machine and you would hit well the tryouts for it were still just on the pitching machine everybody had to do the pitching machine you would you'd go up to bat you'd run the bases you'd do some drills in the outfield well i'd done the outfield drills wasn't bad it's like okay i could throw pretty far had a good arm on me i could catch pop flies okay uh and then we did the batting thing and i couldn't hit a single ball ugh and they give you like and it's scary when you do like it's fast they give you like 20 pitches i [ __ ] missed every single one and then they say that's okay just run the bases i'm like i have to run the bases i don't want to run the bases do you remember i just got publicly humiliated every other kid trying out that i missed and then you're like and now you have to run the bases and then i like ran the bases and i like didn't hit the second base right so i had to double back and dab it and then it i was like i was so mortified at how pathetic my just like my my showing of my skills was and then i made it onto the minor league which means you didn't do very well and then i was put on like a team that lost every game did the parents in your town do the thing when you wouldn't swing they go good eye good eye good eye yeah good good eye that one wasn't for you that one's a pretty good no matter how good that picture is about ten pictures like okay you're gonna have to pick one you gotta go you know maybe that was the one before they like make you get out off of pitches when it's like you can just you get three attempts at it yeah i understand the sentiment i know they've retired this but do you guys remember when they would give uh end of season team trophies or ribbons for certain things oh yeah they're usually like mvp mvp is the best one best [ __ ] part about being a millennial everybody gets a trophy got trophy ceremony pizza the one that no one wanted that always was there was most improved oh yeah you don't want most improved and it was always uh it was always not it was but it was you were athletic it was never about the person who was most improved it was just literally it's like a you're bad it was literally the worst player you showed up to every single practice in every game you really did it yeah okay good job you're right so basketball i was bad at shocker of course yeah i mean i told a lot of my sports drama stories this one i don't think i have uh i was too weak to to reach the basket like i would be i had my little flail uh flimsy arms in elementary school and i would go to take the it would be short i couldn't even get it high enough did it was that anyone else's experience oh yeah it was impossible to throw a basketball that high when you were a child so i have this one memory i don't know why it was after some thing at school and it's all of the athletic kids who i was friends with some of them me and my dad right and we're all playing basketball and my dad gets the ball and he keeps passing it to me being like zach take the shot and i'm like no and i keep passing it away and every and like he will get the ball back and he passes it to me and i'm like no and it was this i know i saw how sweet it was from him but i was mortified because he was putting me in a place to reveal that i was too weak to even make a single basket and it was defensive specialist i feel that pain still like it's so weird how those things from elementary school it it stays it's still in there and your growth yeah yeah it's funny that eugene your story about like the person falling down because i was literally like taught by my coaches to be a little [ __ ] like i there was one coach that literally taught us to put your finger and like squeeze your finger and your thumb to make it into like an imperceptible little shiv and get right up behind a defensive player and start poking them under their ribs to distract them on a corner kick and it was like it was the whole like we were taught like if it doesn't get called it's not a foul and if it's like if there's a team that you know is maybe better than you technically you can often get them off by their game by being like out physicalizing them which is true like you know if you start kind of just bumping up the little pretty boy twist them up you know sportscenter guys they will just get mad and then start making mistakes and that was that was like that was what i was taught as it was like it was so funny and soccer iceland it's yeah it's dude about a villain in our childhood i kind of was i'm picturing the same soccer field where ned has his little finger and he's jabbing and then it cuts over to you he's like i got a flower for you this was more high school but i i was like one of the earliest kids to get a yellow card uh for retaliation because of somebody you know that's what you got to watch out for you somebody starts like messing with you and then you like retaliate too much the ref always sees retaliation so then it was after that point where the coach taught us to be the person seeding the uh bad feelings and then they spin around at you well the one good thing about that type of sports mentality is at the very least you see sportsmanship or unsportsmanship is the uh there's clearly rules set people are trying to bend them it's still a competition but you'll still be punished if you do something outrageous right yeah exactly uh i mean i got a red card one time and it was really sad that [ __ ] doesn't ex is this an art so yeah you still got you still got people with the same vicious like mental [ __ ] huh you can't like start a fight with the lead actress of your school play because you know that she got it for xyz so the only thing that's like that is in the all-state like auditions there were people who would if you got you you just get randomly assigned a slot but you so you'd normally be there the whole day though because it was like an hour away you would go with like six other students and everyone would have different slots throughout the day so you sort of spent your day just sitting around but if you went early and you were good a lot of the good people went early would then play throughout the rest of the day and they'd walk up to other kids who hadn't auditioned yet and be like oh do you know this song let's play together they would try to exhaust the other players so that they would be fatigued and also they'd be in their head because if i was a good player i would go show how good i was and how i already went and it went really well like i probably already got it how hot how high can you play and then you try to make people play high notes and that definitely drains you oh my god that now was this like disgust you knew what you were doing or was it just kind of unspoken and i didn't do that to people my band directors were like if it was like if someone comes over you haven't gone yet and they're trying to get you to play with them don't play with them save your chops for the audition wow and it was very like and i saw it happen i definitely saw it and it was like oh wow these are people who are like blowing out their chops before they audition and they're probably gonna blow it i never pulled that kind of mental [ __ ] but uh in drama club in high school a friend of mine i think i was a sophomore so it was that same politics of like you don't get the good parts until other people have paid their dues but we were auditioning for oklahoma uh i was auditioning for ali hakeem she was auditioning for the love interest who do you you know that show i'm not a big oklahoma person and what we decided to do is like it was a love scene and we're like in our audition we're gonna kiss in the audition and that's gonna get like you don't do that right kids don't do that so we did it we got the rules and we were like we're in baby [Music] audience get with me you're at the grocery store you fill up your cart you check out you're in your car on the way home and then suddenly you remember ah raisins i forgot to get raisins don't you hate when you forget that one thing at the store and you don't have time to go back because you've got a meeting well guess what you can actually get snacks drinks and household essentials in 30 minutes with doordash that's right doordash which brings you all the food that you love all the food from all the restaurants and it can also bring you grocery stuff ordering is easy you just open that doordash app you choose what you want from where you want and your items will be left safely outside your door with a contactless delivery drop-off setting with over 300 000 partners in the u.s puerto rico canada and australia you can support your neighborhood go-to's or choose from your favorite national restaurants like popeyes chipotle and cheesecake factory for a limited time you guys can get 25 off and zero delivery fees on your first order of 15 or more when you download the doordash app and enter code tripod that's 25 off up to 10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the door dash app in the app store and enter code tripod don't forget that's code tripod for 25 off your first order with doordash subject to change terms apply [Music] you want audition together because you you haven't had to audition in pairs and do run the scene in front of everybody uh wow that usually was us for callbacks that's how you know that i think it was called that's how you know that you're like you got an n is when they start rotating all the like female leads with you you're like i'm i'm i'm in the front runner position she was older she was very talented and she was like we got this we're getting you in and you're gonna be my hakeem let's [ __ ] do this whoa wow yeah it was good and then i uh was a real loser thereafter it makes me sound super cool that i got to kiss in in high school hell yeah that was my first kiss it was a stage kiss and i don't even count that as a real kiss but it was also sprung on me in a rehearsal and i was like i was so it was like my whole body tensed up and i sucked my mouth in because i feel like and no because i mean this was like the dress rehearsal they're like eugene you have to you have to kiss her this is your wife in the show the whole time i was just like okay we got the scene it was like and then we came in the page there we go change um stage kisses are very not sexy ariel the other day was like like if you're doing a scene like how do you not get a boner i was like well it's not like that you don't it's not sexy at all yeah i mean i remember even like having a simulated sex scene in a play in college and it was like college thank god in college yeah and it it wasn't it wasn't sexy all you're you're trying to think of like uh i'm doing this next mississippi i've got this block i'm gonna move my arm over here but i guess i never i never like had a a kiss scene with like a crush that might be different yeah that might have made it different it's a little sexy you still get the same like nerves before the kiss and then you're like oh that's nice and everyone's gonna watch you kiss and you don't there's not a lot of public kissing with someone who's not your partner that you do in life it is weird thinking about too like reflecting back uh all of the parents coming to watch their high schoolers gets on stage it's a very weird strategy i loved high school theater though so fun i miss it we should put on a play should we put it on play we've been talking about this getting ex-theater kids who are on youtube to do just a live shakespearean a live shakespeare play yeah which i think is very fun and like but that's a unique thing like i want to do a musical yeah like i want to do an old that'd be great i think it's just the copyright issue right we'll pay for it high schools can pay for it we could afford it maybe oh i just got an image of my brain of high schoolers doing hamilton and it just oh there's a lot of funny videos it just rocked mine it's crazy yeah immigrants we get the job done oh yeah there's there's youtube there's youtube i bet yeah what would be the musical we would do the musical that exists that we put on wikipedia sweeney todd so we think it's autism that would be fun actually claim is that i guess sometimes has lots of good uh parts for each of us right and a lot of good parts to fill out i think we want that like 19 that's true 50s musical style right you want that old school zach wants to do oklahoma he wants to guess so character back maybe we should write our own romeo and juliet musical you know that's like kind of like a west side story but a different you know where maybe we could make it about internet culture miles did we tell you about the time we saw a west side story in australia no it was house because we were volleyball look at us baby we are going to the sydney opera house and the only thing that's playing is west side stories but here's the thing the troop of all australian actors no really like not great trying to do brooklyn accents and for context here this was the only thing playing in there playing our only free night it was like yeah we're like whatever we love west side story it'll be fine it was not fine also not only was it that these like these particular actors were not supposed to be playing those races or doing those accents it was that when you read the playbill you realize that this show was the first show that this theater company had ever done at all and their first show was at the sydney opera house now i've been involved in a lot of things a lot of groups and let me tell you my first show was at the back of a bar at midnight my first shows were had 17 people in attendance at a theater called the conservatory yeah i didn't get to play the sydney opera house for my first show in the theater give us a little taste what did the australian west side story sound like when you're a jet we did not realize how much wine we should have had before sitting down we only really snuck in like one we had a good amount of wine but we could have had more we could have ariel was upset because she really liked the musical and thought that us laughing about it was ruining it because she didn't think it was as bad as we thought it was yeah there was a big gunshot at the end that was so loud i'm terrified i i i i started laughing and she was like stop no it was that normally you see the person with the gun coming to kill uh whichever character they kill you see them so you you have the anticipation of oh no something bad is about to happen but in this production just the gun person was off stage so out of [ __ ] nowhere out of [ __ ] nowhere there's a romantic scene and then there's a huge loud bang sounds like an accident honestly and then he walks out with the gun you're like what it was so surprising i saw the of mice and men broadway show with james franco and chris o'dowd on broadway and this big emotional scene it's the end of my cement george is about to kill lenny and he's got the gun up and the show ends with a big gunshot and boom it bangs and there's a blackout and the woman behind it's the speak emotional scene i'm ready to be invested one behind me goes oh jesus and i just was like you [ __ ] [ __ ] ruining this unfortunately that was me i ruined that moment [Laughter] the whole audience agreed with how the show was yeah you know we everyone would laugh like how about that unforgivable moments when someone ruins uh an emotional scene yeah i saw the movie her and it's the first time that he has sex with his phone uh joaquin phoenix and i'm in the theater and it's this like very weird uncomfortable scene and it all goes to black and you just hear their voices and it's like kind of like joaquin phoenix like and scarlett johansson like [ __ ] and their voices and my dad leans over and just goes this is pretty weird huh that opens up a can of worms we gotta talk about another time maybe in the after part about people who talk during movies even at home oh yeah we're gonna whatever the awkward sex scenes with your parents and movies well stick around uh go to patreon.com let's try guys we'll do a little after pod but now it's miles time for advice files time guys a hundred episodes you know look at us yeah i really don't know how many episodes of advice it'll go for miles because that wasn't the first episode yes it was it was because we started it in the patreon one was uh was maybe 20 episodes 17 yeah yeah so episode one is awesome i feel like we've done more than 100 yeah we've done like 120 but let's just set this up real quick you know 100 episodes we've really been built into this and you may have been asking yourself like well try guys like i expected like a theme like why didn't you like this was just an episode where you're talking about normal stuff why didn't you really bring out the the trumpets and the hundred guns thank you yeah just stay tuned ladies and gentlemen because i have a feeling that miles has something that will definitely live up to this intro this is miles time this is milestone ladies and gentlemen 100 pieces of advice so 100 pieces of ass you're out there in the world and i wish i could give each and every single one of you a little spank okay because i couldn't be more jazzed to give you this the hundredth piece of advice that'll go for miles stay horny folks what's up miles nation how are y'all doing tonight oh horny it's pretty weird too much have you ever wanted to go from a 2 to a 10. [Laughter] have you ever thought maybe i could stand here and give everyone a boner sometimes yeah yeah okay talking bout putting your hand somewhere put your hand in your pocket to be sexy i uh no longer are you standing there wondering what am i gonna do with my hands put those little creepers in your pocket and everyone will think that's an ass i'd like to french you can put one hand front one hand back a veritable 69 of standing but if you put your hand in your pocket then people are thinking oh my god look at those shoulders i'd love to grease those up and send them down a tube but i'm telling you if you want a good outfit sort of of your posture then i want you to put your hands in your pockets for a photo or if you're standing on the bus waiting to be noticed by a a tall man with long hair now miles do you know the rules uh pertaining to pockets when it comes to photographs i get this wrong all the time now here's what i've experienced here's what i've experienced in eugene feel free to correct me if i'm wrong which i most likely am put your hand in your pocket and your your dick's gonna look bigger no this is not what i'm talking about you put your hands in your pocket oh half up to the knuckle similar to knuckle deep into your pocket is that right yeah that's not wrong okay knuckle deep into your pocket similar to what thumb out like you're freaking hitchhiking looking for ass what i've been told is like you don't want your your hand to disappear in your pocket yeah it looks weird and i always do it but then i've also been told like well don't just leave your thumb out because then your thumbs look like you're pointing at your dingus which may be and honestly respect so sometimes you just hook the thumb yeah hook the thumb i found that the hand in the back pocket kind of makes it seem like oh what's he touching back there i like that yeah and i like that too wrangler but if you're the backpack is a very relaxed yes i think he's like hey i can hang i'm just sitting here sipping a beer by myself at this bar yeah you want to come talk to me if you're sort of a two looking to be a 10 in the police department in the [ __ ] department put your hand in your pocket and all of a sudden you're sexy alakazam that's pretty good advice yeah nice job miles alexander i'm not talking about the pokeman alakazam for sure is raw dogs oh alakazam [ __ ] have you seen that nose he's got a meaty nose eugenic eugene's a review of my advice what if they don't have pockets put your hand in your ass no i think that then you can you can get your waistband or caress oh alakazam definitely [ __ ] dude alexander is dope he's got a big mustache he's got spoons yeah that's your 100th pizza that's my 100th piece of arguably the most important piece of advice i've given what is advice other than to make yourself more [ __ ] you know it's been a hundred advices what is do you think can you remember back what's been miles's best advice get a candle get a candle okay that is a pivotal piece of advice i remember the luffa episode specifically for some reason because for me it was just that you had only recently discovered a loofah at that time and i thought that was very alarming i think that was advice one really maybe luffa because then you guys made fun of me for not watching my loofah which to be honest i've got the same loofah oh no i got a new one i got a new one but it was about a year ago i'm back to bar soap i bar soap but then i i scrub a dub on top i scrub a dub if like i feel like i need to exfoliate we do have a salt scrub but normally i'm just that bar soap baby maggie just got this plastic mitten that's like oh that thing hurts it hurts it's fine paper i'd say it feels good i like that pain but like every more every morning like oh my god yeah i don't do that every day that's intense i do well i think we've learned a lot today here folks keith brought up musical triumphs got into some sports traumas yeah miles gave us uh commonplace commonplace advice mostly for photos i would say but real life truly yeah but truly representative of the vibes of the tripod really a roller coaster of emotions so just remember whether you are triumphant whether you fail or whether you're just sexy with your hand in your pocket that's right know that we're here for you that's right yeah you thought we were going to give you a special fancy episode on the 100th no we gave you the same thing because we know you like you like these meandering conversations they kind of go nowhere and then some advice that's not very good that's what you're here for part of it yeah you're one of our friends because you know what you are here's to 100 more and you know what within this next batch of 100 what can you look forward to i'm guessing a little bit more egg talk oh yeah i'm you know what next time we do this at home i'm going to be in the bathtub i'm going to do a top episode we should do a home tub wait was the tub one of your advice for miles yeah oh yeah i would say that you helped me live my truest bathtub self more shamelessly that's good and i i you you miles got us some uh some bath salts for for christmas and i hadn't been back to the office until last week so i finally got him thank you miles of course yeah i think of you whenever i enter my term i love to think about my bosses in the tub another perfect episode mash that subscribe button rate us 5 stars and get yourself a merch at tryguys.com and help support the show you know it's not just about us it's about you wearing some sick try guys cloud hoodies like the one i'm wearing just so no one thinks i was cool in high school this one time we were doing a choir show and i farted really bad really loud but it wasn't just a loud one was a really smelly one and then everyone knew it was me so then for like weeks after they called me eggs oh really we got an egg reference in a way i never expected wow i just i just tied it all together you've been living with this egg pain all this time well i think eggs are delicious same oh so good i'm just saying preach life's a journey ups and downs so keep that in mind listeners right now you may have an egg in your life but someday that egg will become eggs keith it is with the official 100th tripod thief song sometimes your egg will become eggs don't ask us how an egg can become more than one egg unless it's still developing and splits into two which is how you have twins which is like me and you it is the tripod until next time stay beautiful you

Channel: TryPods

Views: 255,221

Keywords: tryguys, keith, ned, zach, eugene, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops, podcast, advice, miles, miles nation, secrets, show, talkshow, behind the scenes, youtubers, ramble, audio, video podcast, clip, segment, silly, becky, maggie, you can sit with us, try wives, girls, female, women, 100th episode, embarrassing, exposing, high school, middle school, music, awkward, sports

Id: mouLxMn9Q9U

Length: 69min 42sec (4182 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 11 2021