Keith Got Too Stoned At The Airport - The TryPod Ep. 128

ramble thank you to everlane skillshare chime upstart and joy bird for sponsoring today's episode of the tripod this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world she looks so sad and photographed i absolutely love her when she smiles welcome to the tripod you got your boys again it's still just the mad three yeah yeah uh mad three and rainy on the ones and twos in the background where are you on miles he's making sure that i look good and plenty now here's a question miles i yes sat our puppet ronald yeah uh beautifully next to keith no with headphones why is he out of the shot it's a great question this room uh sometimes if the frame gets too wide you can see cables oh well i just framed ronald out you want randall to be in the fridge oh i've mentioned ronald now and those watching on youtube yeah so now i've got whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa i'm keeping them i'm keeping them steady yeah keep them fresh it's hard to balance them maybe just move the chair over next to you yeah he looks fun yeah he looks catatonic to be totally honest he looks like he just walked in on his parents making love and he's shocked he's frozen shocked is that let's talk about this ronald is [ __ ] up he doesn't look good anymore i told you man it was really hard to balance yeah you got him you got him though yeah well worked out um i think we've all walked in on our parents in some form of coitus not that i really remember i have sort of a memory of like try it it's going to be harder now i'm much further away would require a flight did your parents um god my parents will hate any version of this story uh did your parents ever make you say hello to them in high school when you uh came home from a native party in woody oh like oh we come home we're obviously baked as hell and we have to say hi before we go up to our friend's house basically this was a thing my dad yeah in high school if i did my sister and i did not tell him we were home he would wake up in the middle of the night panicked [Music] and like come in here over here and come to find us so it was this rule like hey when i'm sleeping just come and let me know you're here you just need to tell me and i'm like all right dad that's fine so i would come home at night and my dad would be fast asleep and i would i'd have to give him a kiss if he kissed him on the cheek on the lips yeah no i had to give him a little kiss forehead on the forehead and like give him a little shake and he's a heavy sleeper and so every time every night without fail he would wake up he's literally totally panicked jesus christ and then go okay thanks good night and yeah to your point yes i uh towards the latter half of high school was getting quite baked and so to go through that every night and not laugh my ass off was quite yeah the challenge i had to like not reek of weed when you kissed him yeah sure i mean i'm sure that he knew yeah probably uh but there was one choice night that's going on over there miles my mic stands bad and it's better than ever oh it's better now so yeah but you were getting stoned in high school running around kissing your dad [Laughter] we thought we had nothing for this podcast it's off to a roaring start there was a one one-choice night however that i came home and my father was uh sleeping uh face down thank goodness uh with his bare butt cheeks hanging out uh the blankets kicked off and i said you know what dad tonight no kiss for daddy yeah i left the room and closed the door i get that can you moon somebody in 2021 is that like anything you mean someone you know or a stranger something you know i would never moon a free culture man is taking so much from us is that what you're getting now that's not what i'm getting i mean i would say it is probably a form of sexual harassment that's what i mean right yeah so i think you have to have a certain relationship with that person that they anticipate and that mooning has been established is fine you ask this because you uh cut out the story from the episode of uh guilty pleasures that maggie guested on about how i mooned my lovely fiancee i noticed that we cut it out we had a whole conversation about my hilarious bike oh yeah excised from the episode yeah who tell the story here is that guilty pleasure i mean it can be on the driver's tripod or maybe i just listened to that what was the story i don't even remember it did i tell it twice is that why you cut it maybe you you'd had her come into the bathroom oh and i'll see you and you were waiting with your butt cheeks out yeah yeah i think you stole it before well it's a good story can i tell the third time yeah tell it another time maggie i'll tell it but you think you're so who are you trying to moon well like i guess i don't have a i'm just pre-meditated i'm not pretty mad at you in the heat of the moment you're looking for a chance though like butzer is so funny and i don't want anyone to be upset with my butt but like i guess like if i mooned you it'd be probably be probate if you mooned me inappropriate oh you think it's appropriate i think so miles yeah you have my full enthusiastic blessing to moon me whenever you would like yeah now i'm not saying as your boss that i want you to move me i'm not asking you i'm not because that would be inappropriate however yeah we have a very welcoming warm fun work environment so fun if it's just you and me i can moon you if it's just you and me i don't think i'm moody if it's just me you and me in the office i don't think i'm gonna moon you so what you'd rather do it when they're in front of a crowd yeah well but then you're now actually everyone's standing behind miles flipping me the bird and they see my face but they can't see my ass zach's in his office i'm in front of the window are you pressing the cheeks against the glass no i think that's too what's one step too far yeah it's a little far because then you leave your butt prints yeah he quickly windexes it after well that's possible what if he windex is with his butt he uses his butt my butt yeah it's possible okay i have a butt story you do here we go yeah it reminds me of windex but so i we just did this hair video i was given this spray it's like a essential oil concoction that he's like yo spray it on your hair at night and it just helps with thickness and and strength and boldening i'm down to try anything right so i spray it like 20 times on my hair and then i rub it in oh no i [ __ ] up my hair uh i rub it in and then i get ready for bed so my nighttime routine is i do my face stuff i brush my teeth whatever do my hair spray then i get one last pee in and every now and then sometimes you get like itches on your body so i sprayed my hair and then i like had a little little itch on my butt you sprayed your butt no no i did not spray my body transfer i sprayed my hair and in doing that i had a little bit of this essential oil concoction and i scratched my butt oh and as a result i had this like tingly menthol butthole and i was like laying in bed i'm like oh god what have i done and it was quite unpleasant wow and you would think that i learned my lesson i did not because the next night i went to pee and the hand that i used to pee was the hand that i used for my hair you gotta wash your hands i had a tingly member yeah that's time you gotta wash your hands yeah i actually wash my hands so many times uh when i'm doing my like face routine and hair routine in the morning only because i can't when you put hair stuff in your hands it won't come off without water you must wash your hands to get it off of your hands and there's several things that i use that i don't want to like get this into what goes into my hair so i have to wash my hands like several times guys i [ __ ] hate skin care so david dang a great buddy he recently told me that when so you're supposed to unscrew your face right everybody knows that yeah everyone does that do you sun screen every day no she should miles really yeah cause you don't think about it until you have to think about it and then you're like oh boy well i work in an office without any windows yeah but you drive to work that is is that enough but when those have the uv protected in them all car windows have uv protected but here's what i found out even our computer screens according to are going to sunburn me just it's it's uv so i'm supposed to sunscreen every single day supposed to sunscreen every single day and what he told me is that you're supposed to sunscreen basically down to your nipples because wait did we talk about this i don't think we i think we did offline that that your shirts are not uv gets through your shirts unless you have a uv shirt which is now a thing so i have to sunscreen more than just my nipples well well it's basically you want to sunscreen your neck and your chest because those are you that's your youthful exposed skin right so as you get older your neck especially it's old-looking signs of wear and it's because of sun damage and then what i was thinking about what made me think about the story is because you were talking about how much you wash your hands well during the pandemi especially watching my hands like crazy these [ __ ] are so dry and cracked now and they say like like you want to if you want to see someone's age the hands show age because you can get all the plastic surgery all the face stuff there ain't nothing to make your hands look hot and young so my hands are starting to look old and weathered baby and i don't like it one day i'm going to look down i'm going to see all the little veins popping through my hands i'm going to be trying you know my hands now yeah just putting them into my pocket sometimes we'll cut them up because they're so dry you ever caught have a pen upside down in your pocket you ram your hand in too fast and suddenly you [ __ ] yourself up and you're screaming yeah that would be tough that'd be intense you do the guess under your nail or it knicks your knuckle or something and it's bad sometimes jeans have the little chapstick pocket extra like buttons yeah and it'll get me what are you guys keeping uh okay guys jeans have the little coin pocket uh it's that little drug pocket drug pocket yes i mean i think that's what this clearly was actually designed for it's not good for coins because it's hard to get your fingers in do you remember when the first i remember there were commercials for a gene that came out and they put that that pocket into the pocket as a secret pocket commercial it was a commercial that said like and these jeans have a secret pocket so you can put things like coins and stuff in there like nothing what kind of secret advertising is this this is clearly for like these are drug jeans make sure you drop by the dillards to get your pair of drug jeans today [Music] you know i love my adventures every day is an adventure sometimes i'm in my backyard discovering a new fruit tree that i didn't realize was 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wears everlane [Music] how little do you think my drugs are i can't find that right yeah all right i got a big ass nug it's not gonna fit in my little wagon when zack's coming all my friends are eating a night busy right i just had a dream i had a dream last night that i rolled a joint where i all i did was put an entire nug of wheat into paper and didn't roll it and we smoked it and it smoked great that was your dream that was a part of my dream now when you smoke weed in your dream uh-huh do you get high in your dream doesn't seem like i do but maybe that's because dreams are all sorts of bizarre anyway you know what i know you told us that you have bonkers-ass dreams and that's because you are i think probably because you are smoking weed to fall asleep every night yeah i i so i'd smoke weed at the end of the day instead of like how somebody might have a cocktail or wine i try to strictly use weed now sometimes i obviously still have a cocktail or maybe have wine but i always will at the end of the day when all my work is done and i have no more work there's no more incoming calls or emails so this is normally like 2 p.m 8 p.m on saturday maybe miles but on on weekdays it's normally like 8 p.m and like we're just gonna watch netflix for the rest of the night that's that's the plan so i'll have a little bit of weed it helps me wind down helps me chill out helps me not think about maybe uh work that needs to be done yeah yeah so i have some weed and then typically i'll go to sleep in the next couple hours and sometimes if i feel like i'm not going to sleep well maybe i'll have like a half of a gummy yeah you know to make sure i sleep uh and it's great and then sometimes you'll wake up in the night you're like oh the world's crazy i gotta pee yeah uh but maybe that is why my dreams are weird but they've always been [ __ ] weird that's the challenge for me though is that i now wake up to pee basically without fail every night and getting up to pee when you are high it is tough the world is upside down i too have replaced the evening beer cocktail with taking a little gummy and i find that it is much more sustainable it's sustainable it's uh cheaper those gummies are [ __ ] delicious and they taste good here's the hardest part for me is that like i only you know i'm having like a little quarter of a gummy or like half of a gummy order i have some powerful gummies oh they're like 10 milligrams yeah guys i bought so i was i was like oh i want some different edibles to try and i bought some mints and i bought two different types of mints and i didn't even pay any attention to what their percentages were what they were but they just had two types of mints i'm like i'll take both and i'll try them and they're like cool and like these are pretty heavy hitters and these are pretty mild i'm like cool so i looked at and the mild ones are unbelievable they're like one thc two cbd which is almost nothing so i'm like that's kind of cool if you really wanted a low dose like that's a real low dose that's great the other ones are the size of altoid minis they're bright green they reek of weed and they're [ __ ] 40 milligrams of thc i'm like how on earth in one minute and it's tiny you can't break that up you can't have half of that mint you can't have a quarter of that milk you just bought it so i don't see and didn't even realize what you were buying yes so now i have these like nuclear bombs why will i ever use this for absolutely no world in which you will ever want that no 40 million maybe if i were to like watch space jam at my house and i would like already and i put a pillow down oh my god 10 is a lot good it's out of control how strong these are and i had no idea and i opened the tin and it smells like you're in a marijuana like farm it is so weedy i think i've taken the most i've ever taken was 35 at once and that was that's the height of my weed smoking i was getting on a plane about to go through security reached in my pocket was like oh no i have this edible can't get on the plane so let me just chomp down holy [ __ ] you know you wake up you fall asleep during takeoff you wake up and like it's like you're the opening of lost you're on a new planet your body is paralyzed everybody knows everybody everybody knows everybody knows kids i'm gonna have to talk to the flight attendant that's for water and she's gonna know the fbi is waiting for me when we land yeah i had the same thing except i took a hundred milligram pill because someone's 100 are you [ __ ] crazy this was so long ago that i had no i it's like the first like edible thing that exists i don't know i don't know i also didn't i you know i was at that time only smoking weed i had no experience yeah i had no idea what milligram meant so i'm like that must be normal if someone has it it must be normal and they gave it to me and they're like well i can't break this up because they gave it to me as i was getting out of the car to go into the airport i'm like well i guess i better did this to you it was just a friend i'm not gonna sell them out and i tell me i ate it i went to the airport and you died i'm in the airport and like they're starting to board and like i'm pretty high but i thought like this is like a good level of high i'm not too high yet we get on the plane and then the plane takes off and you know when the plane takes off it normally does a pretty strong bank to turn and go where it's going well when it started to bank i fully felt the plane just doing barrel rolls and i looked and no one was freaking out and i'm like this is the calmest plane this is plane is doing barrel rolls right now and it was only me and mark muzinski and mark mizinski is not high obviously he's sitting next to me in the middle seat i'm in the window seat and i turn to mark i'm like mark the plane is it flying normally yeah i'm like good and then i then i'm only like every minute that passes i'm getting substantially higher to the point where i am now like everybody knows i can't speak i don't know what to do and i turned to mark and i'm like mark you have to get me water there's no way i can order it for myself so i can't handle that and then but what you probably said is my water polish and then i just like put my head against the seat in front of me and i just sort of zone out for two hours and then it's like four hour flight i think it was new york to la and uh we're starting to on a good day they're like attention passengers we're gonna start our descent and i'm like oh no we're gonna land i'm gonna have to get up and get my luggage down i will not be able to do that and i'm like i was like oh no because i'm still so high and i'm like i'm very concerned about getting off the plane that i'm gonna have to like talk to people and move and i'm like i fully did not feel like i was capable of walking let alone lifting that's so insane it was too much and i never have even broached that i think the most i've ever taken is like 15 maybe 20. and that's a lot and that's a lot and that was like specifically for like oh we're gonna watch like all the harry potter movies and i'll stay inside and i didn't have it all at once i had like five milligrams then a couple hours later maybe had another five and like that was a sequential ingestment of weed and five milligrams is like a healthy like that's i think the standard doesn't normal take his five milligram gummy three to five yeah yeah three to five if you're a smoker that's like a good yeah it's a good amount i i can take 10 and it will not [ __ ] me up for sure but once i get to the 15 or 20 it starts to [ __ ] me up too much too much yeah i usually chill five five or a little bit more is good for me yeah yeah i usually go speaking of getting stoned i went to a bachelor party hey at this point a couple weekends ago but based on when we were recording this not that long ago mouse getting married getting married when it was your bachelor party my match i thought you went to a bachelor party no no no no no no no no no no no no no no you're about to break what the [ __ ] did you do bro it was a [ __ ] party man so we went to colorado it was great got all my favorite friends in the world which part i'm sorry all of your favorite yeah sorry zach i know yeah i know i was in greece that's why i can't thank you for the invite yeah keith wasn't invited i was busy yeah zach was busy yeah i was just doing other stuff yeah eugene was working was there and ned was not invited but so we went to brackenridge beautiful and um we were just like at uh this beautiful house it was uh my roommate kendall's like a home that her family has and we went up there and um it was a [ __ ] blast we played paintball which was so fun so fun which i think the drag guys should definitely play paintball we want to do so we have our four verse one series yeah we wanna do a ten verse one oh my god i've just one expert paintballer just just just working all of us it was so fun it was like definitely maybe the most exercise i've gotten ever and it's adrenaline he's his adrenaline and whole time we're in the middle of the desert and like you're wearing like hoodies and stuff because you don't want to get hit right on the skin because it hurts like [ __ ] and um we were like running around the desert and it was like essentially like on a big like if you picture a canyon wall it was like a sloped canyon wall like up like that so one group would like get the high ground and one group get the low ground there's all these like bro like trees and sort of brushes and stuff and you're hiding in like these trenches and it was so insane because you'd have your gun and you'd be like all right i'm gonna get up to the ridge it's way farther than you think it is you'd like run really hard for like 30 seconds and then be like and have to catch your breath and then like hope nobody's like shooting you uh-huh and it was uh we got to do this because i'm nearing if i'm not already there the point in my life where my body will not be able to withstand all this running oh we're all gonna like sprain or pull something because it's not getting hit's not the part that hurts the part that hurts is like oh you might roll your right hand from doing it it's just the fear of getting shot yeah it's more that you're going to have to turn on a dime a lot and change your mind you'll start running and then suddenly it's a hail of gunfire you're like turn back turn back turn back and it is so very scary oh it's really fun i used to do it in my woods as well yeah like we had this expansive woods behind and we got into it so like there were four of us and we would basically just do like take the hill kind of things where one person would we bit we literally dug out a bunker uh behind a boulder and one person would be up there as the sniper and the other three try to get to you and take it and then we also one day invited two other people who were like really good and they just ripped us apart yeah and it was fun though it was really fun when you're doing this for your bachelor party miles is it you and your party yes against some random [ __ ] yeah so there's like 10 of us and we split teams no no no no no but we did like have two team captains then they'd pick every one then we'd switch up and like have one pick and stuff um will did get picked last on one of them which was very funny but then he showed them he became team captain exactly yeah um but uh what all the other kind of shenanigans you get into you guys i mean definitely i will say on the paintball some members were um under the influence of various things okay fun uh fun and confusing i'm sure very confusing for them i think anything can go into the mouth what are you talking about it go into your stomach or into your lungs or into your blood or into your nasal cavity it was uh no nasal uh it was a boy it was in your stomach it doesn't support that here i just was given the option it was a trap it was a trap it wasn't fired it was into your stomach okay that's alcohol well i know what he's saying it was into your stomach but it was uh yeah it was a good trip and um but yeah so we did lots of things that were very fun like that we went to breckenridge we played like drinking olympics games which like i don't really play drinking games anymore but it was like a big you know group of boys i'm by the way full on board for this style of bachelor party yeah so there's there's two there seems to be two camps yeah there's either like my last night of being single let's go out and go out and like like i don't really know what guys are doing when they go to vegas and that's where they're like i'm going to think about [ __ ] somebody just they're not really doing it like what yeah like what is the point there of like going out no either you do it in your gross or you just think about doing it gross stupid the other version which is way sillier and stupid stupider is like hey you're about to become a man and be like get all these responsibilities of being a husband go be a child again exactly go be a [ __ ] idiot go get a house play a bunch of silly games right eat stupid food eat crazy stuff [Music] do you have a thing you want to learn about right from where you are right now well that's skillshare baby every human was born to create we all have that in us we love patterns we love creating patterns and whether you last picked up a paintbrush yesterday or in grade school you can explore your creativity and be inspired skillshare is an online learning community that offers membership with meaning with so much to explore real projects to create and the support of fellow creative skillshare empowers you to accomplish real growth i learned everything when i was growing up online i wish i had had skillshare when i was learning all the editing that i learned by myself watching tutorials online you know it's got great people teaching classes you can just sign up and learn everything you need online and you know it's going to be good you can script shoot and edit with marquez brownlee you can find your style you got five exercises to unlock your creative identity i mean there's so many things to learn so explore your creativity at skillshare.com tripod and get a one month free trial of premium membership that's one month of a premium membership at skillshare.com tripod we also did so one thing that was revealed to me on like the second night was that uh the whole time they're like you know my friends are planning this and stuff and being very sweet and sarah had been texting all of them desperately none of them wanted this sarah was trying to hire strippers to come out we all were like absolutely pleasing male or female female because she was like it would be funny because obviously she's like i don't want to like actually but it'd be funny because you guys are all dorks and it would be you'd be really uncomfortable about it so sarah sarah's like texting like come on it'll be so funny and everyone's like we absolutely don't want that to happen we're like 10 dorky boys in a cabin we're also in breckenridge you're right i mean i just don't know how available it is it's like that's absolutely not something any of us are interested in having around but sarah was very funny and desperate about trying to book it for us it never happened but and she had her bachelorette party at the same time uh a week prior so she had she had it at a slightly different time um she when i saw her and touched her dog's balls uh she was sharing that it was at her friend's beautiful house so like some yes it was yeah yeah yeah in wyoming i think wyoming yes or minnesota minnesota and minnesota yes but no it was a fantastic trip with fantastic boys um i'm excited to go to a bachelor party again soon because i got some friends who got engaged oh lots of bachelor parties coming up i mean zach yes i don't know when his will ever be his will be fun but huey and alex you and alex from hamburger both have like totally fast tracked their wedding and bewo fast track team he actually is married but they're going to do uh finally their like actual wedding and uh we'll have a bachelor party so i got three bachelor parties coming up in the next six months baby boxing huey it's like a six-month turnaround or something crazy it's fast that's great it's fast forward nuts it's fast it'll be fun i got like three weddings in two months in in six months or so oh wow it's gonna be a great time i've got two weddings coming up in october and uh you know it's it's funny everyone was gonna have a wedding in the summer and they're like well we should give it a little more time just to be like safe from the pandemic and now it's like you get right into the thick of it it is don't know what i'm gonna do i don't know i yeah i'm very the future is constantly in the dark yes never know what's going to be okay anymore so i saw this thing online they kind of feel are we done with your bachelor party as well yeah was there anything else yeah yeah was there a clown there was no clown balloons uh there was balloons did you make steak we did not make steak are you [ __ ] kidding me well my friend made like beer tacos you know like he's bracing him for one that's pretty good as long as you i feel like a bachelor party has has a has a ceremonial meat at some point yeah sometimes people make steaks so i think that is a good like a long braised thing a pork shoulder you know making a special like communal meat yeah when we went to lunch at a distillery oh fun [ __ ] great you got some whiskey or yeah whiskey yeah yeah hell yeah you guys play any ticket to ride maybe a little exploding kittens we did get very stoned and play super smash brothers oh yeah that's that's a good one oh really we played a lot of super smash brothers his last bachelor party went too so it was always the end of the whatever else we did yeah it ends with this of course yeah it's perfect i wonder if at my bachelor party i can make a rule where ned can't play a snake yeah oh yeah it's your bachelor party because he's so good at snake and it's so frustrating and for people who don't care i'm so sorry such a ned kid he just shoots these missiles and stays away from you and you're like homing mills and like [ __ ] like come fight me this bombs everywhere and he's so good it's so he's so good with him and it's like it's not even fun yeah i like playing with different characters i like i like playing as only the dumbest ones yeah it's really nice i just picked the dumbest characters and have a great time and any character that also can uh kill you and kill me at the same time so like like i love grabbing people and dying like we die together yeah donkey kong is one uh bowser is one ddd is one do you ever do uh jigglypuff suck them up and jump off yeah that's why i do a ddd we used to play uh either only jigglypuff or only kirby and you it was just like who can you the only way you're allowed to kill him with kirby is suck up and try and jump just drop to the bottom and who can escape yeah we should i mean we'll have a tv in here soon we could set up a blueprint should we play while we pod yeah for sure all right that will that'll be a very interesting boring podcast we're just super disinterested so um zach you said you had a segment it's not a segment well you told me you had a big segment before we started and i never said big well you said we were we were leaving the his bachelor's party for something else yeah for someone else yeah but i saw i saw a thing online and it felt kind of like a metaphor for what the world is experiencing right now and uh i think it's called the shopping cart dilemma have you guys seen this no no um so when you are at a supermarket do you return the shopping cart to the appropriate place what do you do with it i do i'm a big i'm a big cart narc as they say which i shame people who don't put their carts back put your cart back i rely on the uh context of the situation so if there's shopping cart like touches that you put it in i'll put it in if there's no shopping cart hushes there's always a shopping cart no because sometimes there's not in l.a the parking lots are weird and like sometimes they're small parking lots or grocery stores so if there's not a sharpening cart harch then i'll uh put it where the the majority of the other carts are okay so you're not just leaving it walking away no so this was something uh apparently the the uh source is twitter slash antichrist jared so thanks antichrist uh but the this post posits that the shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test this is a quote uh for whether a person is capable of self-governing because a shopping cart returning it it's easy it's convenient we all know that it's the right thing to do every single one of us knows that it is the right thing to do it makes it run more efficiently it is it is courteous uh but there's also no consequences to not doing it yeah you will never get in trouble right there is no it's not a crime there's no punishment it's not illegal so this is uh what they argue is the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it and i think we all have been to a supermarket and we know that people don't do what is right yeah and so this is kind of it one breaks down people who is willing to do the right thing just because it is the right thing and because we have a responsibility to each other to be good people and who isn't and i think the case of the shopping cart unfortunately shows that left to their own devices people don't do what is good people are not inherent i mean this is like we need to get like some content theory up and yeah we need to get uh rousseau and some of the great philosophers to deposit think about this but um yeah i don't believe i used to believe in the good of people i'm getting really deep here i used to believe that people were ultimately good and i don't think i believed that anymore and uh it's partially due to the shopping carts yeah partially do to uh the way that people are responding to the pandemic right like people are just not doing what is good yeah we were having so much fun we were laughing so hard i think people are good i think people have that of good or worth or value inside of them but ultimately like it's so hard to say because like obviously if there's somebody who has access to news and whatever and they're in the zeitgeist then they can choose which one is correct but i unfortunately think that it's like it's not that you can't blame people who are like down the rabbit hole of believing crazy [ __ ] right we're living in a misinformation yeah like you can literally have people who are born into stuff that and then they just experience only that and they think it's true because they don't have a reference point so it's so hard i think people are good it's i mean people are so many bad people though you know like people that means that people are not born inherently good they need society to teach them to be good to each other yeah i mean look the the the most popular religion is based on this idea of original sin it's and i was originally said it's like okay yeah you killed god whatever no it's actually that like no you have bad stuff within you and you need to work hard to not be a bad person yeah it's tough it's it's entirely how you're raised uh it's also not the most popular religion uh most uh islam is yeah yeah yeah so it might be yeah uh but it like i think that it's just how you're raised and whether that is by your parents or by your society it like societal things become the norm to you just like food could become the norm to you if you were raised in a place that only eats bugs all the time that'd be incredibly incredible normal yeah if you're raising places it doesn't eat bugs and you hear about that you're like well that's really weird and bizarre it doesn't make any sense to me but it's just what you are taught is what you know and how you behave and if someone teaches you that life is already wrong do you therefore you should not be nice to other people then you are going to believe that life is bad and you should not be good to other people right yeah like the shopping cart i feel like probably a lot of people are saying like oh well everything's unfair to us so why would we go out of our way to return the shopping cart or this this place is overpriced they're charging me too much for produce so why would i do them a favor i want them to spend the money on the employee who has to go out and put those carts and grab them back but of course that employee that's not his job his job is actually get the carts out of the cart return but you are making his job be to go get the carts from wherever they are uh so it's just like i think people think that they're already wronged therefore why should i be right listen to this please another the so this the shopping cart the shopping cart situation we have the dog poop situation oh that one now all my life up until recently i lived in apartment communities yeah uh places where there were just apartments yeah you don't need to explain that any further we know where that is so lots of dog poop all over the place and i think it was because there wasn't a sense of community because there was no sense of pride because uh no one owned their place and we have this weird thing where people pay other people to own land and then don't get to enjoy it and yeah it's [ __ ] weird yeah so um private properties theft so uh now i live in this small little community it's adorable houses and i have noticed that everyone is real good about picking up their dog [ __ ] i came outside the other day let bowie pee and there was a poop on my front lawn and we looked at our little ring app and we saw it we saw the lady hell yeah we saw the lady who who pooped and walked away and oh brother i was pissed i was ready to find her i was going to take a [ __ ] on her front lawn not my dog me me zachary she should squat came back out a couple hours later she came back she came back yeah with a bag and picked it up just out of the goodness of her heart she was just like i didn't have a bag yeah and she came back and then this morning i last podcast told you about my neighbor jeff who was talking about all those spiders all those spiders his dog took a big ol [ __ ] on my front lawn while while we were talking and he had a bag as i was pulling out to come to work he came back with windex and a and a paper towel and he's like yeah it's a real big one today hold on i got that for you and as i was leaving he was spraying it down because it got on the sidewalk it was his dog needs to change its diet it was a loose one yeah uh but he was [ __ ] cleaning the sidewalk out of the goodness of his heart wow it's also never gonna rain here so if he doesn't it will be there forever that's an unfortunate thing if la is if you spill some milk outside that milk will be there that milk will just be there yeah if you drop your coffee the coffee would just be there it'll just be it can't go away until january when it might rain i'll be there i'll be there without rain milk on the sidewalk the poop yeah that's a great song parody i like that that was good the boob problem is interesting in la i mean i think that it's like and rats eat poops i don't know if you know this rats survive on poop [ __ ] other things but they like poop too yeah they love poop mostly poop yeah hey you guys like figs yeah you want do you have figs i have figs i love fish i'll bring you some figs bring them back basket of figs isn't figs it's like the wasp dies in them is that that i don't think that's true i think it can happen but i don't think it has to happen i think it is true wait what in the wild figs or figs the figs that we get in the stores they figured out another way yeah but what happens is that wasps crawl into no way the fig and then they get trapped and their little crunchies inside a fig is the [ __ ] dissolved body this is a real thing i i believe that you're right that there is a type of fig that wasps crawl into and die and that's what makes them delicious i think that's like all natural figs but like not the ones you get trader joe's they figure out i think it's something where it can happen but it doesn't have to happen i think the fight can still be pollinated without the wasp dying in it it's just the wasp will sometimes die in it are you looking at it oh my god tell us that tell us the truth miles horrified we should have a new segment called fact-checking [ __ ] you wouldn't be horrified if you grew up in a place where we ate bugs all the time we'll see you're right and i i did eat figs all the time and the crunch you're referring to i know well i know yeah so figs and fig wasps have a special relationship that is essential to their mutual survival the fig provides a home for the wasp and the boss provides the pollen that the fruit needs to ripen the insect's life cycle begins when a tiny female loss enters a [ __ ] and begins laying eggs inside it so where are you just reading wikipedia right now this is actually forest this uh usda forest service ooh that's pretty earth.gov that's crazy yeah dog yeah dude it's crazy so you came here to laugh we made you think we made you learn and we made about wasps learn all about them returning your [ __ ] shopping cart white anglo-saxon presidents either you know what don't return your shopping cart because i that was a good joke keith thank you yeah it took a second but it was worth it well we had mentioned the christians earlier yeah yeah i was like let's bring it back to anyway yeah don't do it because you should just return the cart because you want to but also because like someone else has to [ __ ] clean up after you but see now we're we're doing it because like we're putting uh a value system on it and saying oh zach thank you they're gonna think you're not a good person and that's like kind of the same as like doing it because oh because you're gonna get into heaven because you want god no i want you to do it because you know it's the right thing to do yeah if you don't do it then i'm sorry [Music] okay this might be a hot take might be a scorcher you might put your finger down on this tank and go so hot but i think your bank account should work with you not against you and chime is an award-winning app and debit card with no hidden fees or monthly minimums after all you earned your money so you deserve to keep it chime is great it's got fee free overdraft on up to 200 in debit purchases with spot me it's like overdraft protection but it's better you can get your paycheck benefits stimulus check and tax return up to two days earlier with direct deposit you know you love yourself some direct deposit and there's no hidden fees or monthly minimums so join the millions on chime sign up takes two minutes and doesn't affect your credit score apply now at chime dot com slash try guys that's shine.com try guys chime is a financial technology company banking services provided the bank court bank or tribe bank n a members fdic eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply overdraft only applies to debit card purchases limits start at 20 and maybe increase up to 200 by chime early direct deposit depends on the payer out of network cash withdrawal fees apply third party and cash deposit fees may apply go to chime.com try guys for details [Music] do you dread looking at your credit card statement every month well we don't blame you yeah but upstart can lift that weight off of your shoulders so that you can finally feel the relief of being free of credit card debt upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online now whether it's paying off credit cards consolidating high interest debt or funding personal expenses over half a million people have used upstart to get a simple fixed monthly payment unlike other lenders upstart looks at more than just your credit score like your income and employment history this means they can offer smarter rates with trusted partners with a five-minute online rate check you can see your rate up front for loans between 1 000 to 50 000 you can receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com try guys that's upstart.com try guys and don't forget to use our url to let them know we sent ya loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application go to upstart.com try guys [Music] you know it's like i think people should be not yeah be nice just because it's nice to be nice to other people i just that's the thing that i never understood and uh a real thing that always bumped me about religion is like i don't need you to dangle this [ __ ] afterlife in my face for me to be a good person i'm just not a dick just be a good person just because if you tell me that it's just like if we had a scientific article that came out or like god came down he's like hey i'm real but guess what afterlife isn't real everyone just start like [ __ ] pillaging each other i'm real but there's nothing more sorry pete later well i guess probably in the olden times yeah people would start pillaging each other yeah because they'd be like well why don't i just kill you and take your stuff yeah so that means people are dicks yeah but i do yeah that's tough i just that's what i'm fighting these days i think people are good but the world is bad and it [ __ ] people up well why is the world bad you know what's dangerous about that why is the world bad the world's bad because of people yeah exploitation you should be corrupted but i don't think like because i think the dangerous thinking of that is that people think that they are better than people who are bad just because they do the bare minimum riddle me this miles i don't think that's true riddle me this yeah please is it possible to be a moral person yeah in modern developed society well there's no ethical consumption under capitalism baby so under our thing no but i think it's just like part of the deal like i think it's simpler than that it's like villa nice because it's nice to be nice you know if i can hate people who are like i tell it how it is i'm blunt [ __ ] off [ __ ] all the way off be polite because it's nice to be nice i don't need people to be like well actually that [ __ ] sucks and you you know people no tell it how it is it's such a bad way to live your life i had a moment that crushed me the other night um where i have a friend who's uh becoming a real doucher oh no online [Music] like some blue lives matter [ __ ] and i'm like i just i like you know got all in a huff and i talked about how they're a shitty person and then i stood up to go do the dishes and i'm like ugh but i still i accept when i got to do the dishes next time but i still have the same all the same privileges and enjoy all the same benefits that they do from their [ __ ] so i'm just as bad i just know that i'm an [ __ ] and i walked away right i think that's the thing is i can say all i want but at the end of the day we're all still living in the same [ __ ] yeah are like feelings i'm still about to pour some sort of oil-based chemicals straight into the water supply right as we wash our dishes and like obviously it's good to use little pods they're all bad i mean they're the same they're the same it's just it's we've like we've decided it's okay for this to go in the water it's only also petroleum-based and going straight into the water just oiling up our waters all the time but it is like it's still good to do good things like it's obviously like it's good to live an eco lifestyle it's good to yeah not as much weird meat but you know what if you're like on a high horse about oh i don't eat like animals and therefore i have like this moral high standing wear your clothes from bro because i guarantee it's not something you'd like yeah like everybody has stuff everything's bad but that society is built on that but it is actually refreshing because it's like everything's bad but we get to do nice little things we get to do you know it's it should be freeing instead of uh restricting anyway zach um it's a fun segment right anyways that was a fun segment here's some other here's some other fruits that have bugs in it [Laughter] i was thinking um keith you told a story last week on the podcast yeah about um you were swimming uh-huh and i thought it'd be fun for the podcast uh-huh if we saw who could hold their breath the longest oh yeah i mean someone's going to need to entertain the audience while we don't know because they'll know in silence that we're holding our breath so they'll play along yeah see okay to be clear on this audio only podcast yes yeah you want us to hold our breath yeah which is a silent activity yeah but people are gonna hear that we are holding our breath they're gonna know it how long i mean people can hold their breath for like a minute two minutes so we're gonna have like a minute i'm gonna get to 40 seconds i think i'm not even gonna get to 30. so we are asking the audience just bear with us after that half-baked conversation about morality in the modern world yeah like a philosophy break yeah a philosophy 101 dropout they need such a break that we're just gonna shut the [ __ ] up maybe we'll do an ad break in the middle that's a good that's actually is a perfect place for an ad break while you guys listen to this ad we're gonna hold our breath we'll come back when we're gasping or dead all right and here wait how do we when do we start starting we need i have a timer okay here we go hang on here okay this is very exciting there we go and three [Music] are we are we inhaling on one or what's the plan yeah inhale on one okay three two one lasted three seconds i first out laughing well i've lost so we all saw that coming i'm disappointed i wanted to know how long i could hold my breath we won't know so instead i will narrate uh miles's face is quivering keith is closing his eyes he's doing that thing yeah it's not fair i was not holding a breath competition that was a laughter composition 30 seconds how many seconds 30 seconds i want another goal oh my god i could have gone way longer i was gonna maybe do a tournament style so one person knows you guys know because no matter what we're gonna just lose from laughter i wanna kill i wanna win all right here we go okay here we go three two one [Laughter] okay here we go three two one [Laughter] i couldn't nobody's not gonna be able to do it too crazy too crazy i don't want to give up no we have to give up no we can't it's all it's gonna be is us laughing that sounds good though people laughter is infectious yeah i bet you people are giggling at home i bet they are hey take a picture and turn it to us if you're laughing if you're laughing here we go three his face don't look at me i was i was going to do it that day i get 10 seconds you're gonna make it 10 seconds that's better than last time 10 seconds would have been my new record that would have been good this episode will be called dry guys hold their breath i spit all over this mic we need to disinfect it yeah i i feel like um you cleared my sinuses oh yeah yeah you sound a little bit oh i definitely cried yeah that was funny good laugh that was really good all right well you want to talk about factory farming oh yeah jesus yeah zach's trying to do like a activist episode i'm not prepared for it well i'm not suggesting activism i'm suggesting that the world is so deeply entrenched in flawed systems that there's really nothing you can do to be a good person and at this point we may just all be uh you could pay seven dollars for eggs because they're free range eggs so they cost seven dollars yeah even free range it's kind of like a mystery definition well no there's there's cage free is the wrong one free range is the one that's page three is no good yeah cage free uh yeah one of them is [ __ ] [ __ ] up i and the most expensive is free range so i think that's the best one the cage free been a while since we talked about it it's good to be back doesn't mean that there aren't still too many chickens in whatever place it is it's just they're not innate well and they just call it too many chickens and an egg they want to mislead you what came first too many chickens or the egg so you pay four dollars thinking you're doing the right thing but you gotta pay seven dollars to do the right thing what's the difference between there's like double a eggs oh i i couldn't tell you that oh they're all the same it's so polite yeah you grew up making eggs right they're all [ __ ] eggs what do you mean like there's a i thought hank green didn't think about this but it's just like yeah eggs are [ __ ] eggs eggs are not better for you because they're more expensive they're all the same eggs but they could be not like yeah that's about the chickens but it's like the problem this is about supporting the business what about the brown eggs and the speckled eggs same thing and the white egg same exact brown's better no brownies who makes what though same chickens they make the same shape chickens make different no like if i'm one chicken no am i sometimes making white eggs making brownies yes so it's just like it's [ __ ] because then they they're someone who's sorting the eggs you're saying people like the white eggs yes and then there's someone who's stored in the brownies and go oh no no no then yes them whole foods people are going to think these are brownies they're way more expensive yeah and the reason that comes they're so big mm-hmm the makers are [ __ ] huge this is a big chicken yeah like or a small or like a younger chicken like we had chickens oh by the way isn't it like the reason that like like in japan eggs don't have risk of salmonella as much like there's no salmonella in the eggs you can just [ __ ] and they eat like raw chicken yeah you can just gulp them it's just because they're why is that they have cleaner facilities and i think they're just like the bacteria that exist in america doesn't exist as much there wait but why would someone how does salmonella get i'm not an expert on this into the egg the eggs are sealed so here's the thing the salmonella salmonella's not actually in the egg the salmonella is on the shell so and the reason it's on the shell is because you have to um because we wash our eggs we like power wash them because they're [ __ ] on eggs yuck so if you weaken oh no this is actually sorry this is the reason we have to refrigerate eggs is because an eggshell actually just out of the chicken's ass butt is fine and isn't gonna go bad you can keep eggs whatever but if because you power wash the shell the shell gets thinner and therefore it has is more likely to spoil the egg and that's what you keep in the fridge but i think they actually still last a few a little bit you can last like a couple weeks out of the fridge yeah it'll be in the fridge they'll last for 100 years exactly y'all know the egg test what's that find out if your eggs are ready put them in a glass of water oh that just means if they're they've gone bad they've gone bad oh they float yeah also you can just open it up and it'll be pretty clear because it'll smell like [ __ ] yes you don't want to do that you don't want to open up a shitty egg that's true especially if you've already put two eggs in the glass to scramble them up you put that third in egg [Music] that's the sound of me sitting down in my joy bird couch it is a great company and a great service to get the furniture you need for your house they offer modern customizable furniture for every space available in a variety of vibrant durable fabric options and with summer winding down joybird has all the modern outdoor furniture and accessories you need to make the most of your patio hangs you know when becky and i got our house we really wanted to make permanent decisions and joe bird made it easy so easy in fact we actually chose the fabric we chose because alfred's hair showed up the least on it each piece is made with incredible care using responsibly sourced materials free of harmful chemicals through partnerships with groups like one tree planted joybird is helping conserve and restore earth's most precious natural resources quality craftsmanship stain and scratch resistant fabrics and limited lifetime warranty joy bird furniture can handle anything your family throws at it literally joy bird stands by its quality and craftsmanship if it's not everything you hope for send it back so create a space that brings you joy with joybird visit joybird.com try guys and get 30 off your purchase wow that's 30 off at joybird.com try guys that's a good deal baby [Music] i saw an article uh oh and it said that um hot people are returning to milk ah that was an article yeah and why because i don't know i didn't read the article people yeah are returning to drinking regular milk instead of like an almond milk is it that the is the studies saying that the milk is making them hot or that hot people have decided that they need milk again i think the idea is that milk's coming back into vogue and for a while it was vogue it was like probably one of the top five ad campaigns of all time but i can handle regular milk and i honestly think that culture has made me think i'm lactose intolerant because everyone's like well i'm lactose intolerant and i feel like around you guys yeah everyone's like doesn't tell her and i feel like just to be included i gotta [ __ ] say i'm like intolerant uh-huh yeah we look down on you you look down stomach and digest meanwhile i'm chugging whole milk on the reg yeah i love it that's cool for you [ __ ] awesome so you don't care about the environmental impact of uh the dairy industry and raising live cattle stocks where's your shirt from cambodia i will tell you though i'll tell you yeah my fast fashion lasts a long time this shirt is old baby well you know what i'd say is you don't wear clothes very hard how dare you how dare you when i wear clothes they i would say they deteriorate quicker because i'm like you don't sweat like us what are you doing miles i'm sweating and i'm also sort of like i'm moving around living hard i'm living hard and you're sort of sitting there watching um hbo i'm kind of like rubbing up against their library it's great it's the best more staff best library oh really have you tried rewinding on apple tv those are all so bad garbage it all sucks disney plus [ __ ] all of the i don't know how all the remotes and the roads are unbelievable it is unbelievable guys i don't understand we're gonna go back to fast fashion one second yeah but it is [Music] [Applause] unbelievable how bad the controls on some of these streaming services is all of them they just just don't ever rewind don't even attempt to you're going to go back 20 minutes can i raw dog for a sec okay i hate that expression but yeah i think that roku is one of the worst services in history of technology i think that roku they're pretty good down with roku whoa i think they're pretty okay why do you hate them because i think roku is the it was the first to the table for smart television technology and they are one of the worst pieces of [ __ ] you can't most roku tvs you can't adjust the [ __ ] display settings color grade the contrast and stuff like that and roku is like oh i'm gonna put in a roku stick via usb you think over usb we're going to be doing this [ __ ] absolutely not my biggest my what i like about roku is because they're fully third party they actually will have everything whereas like apple tv is like oh you can't get amazon on it amazon that [ __ ] yeah oh my god get over yourself oh that's smart tv samsung i know yes samsung will do it too i have a smart tv yeah here's two things that happen one hbo is not on the smart tv because what do i have i have a i think i have a samsung what do i have i don't know why i'm asking you what i have i'm about to blow your i have the frame i'm about to blow your jacket i have an oled i'm about to blow your blow my ass apart does your tv have amazon prime yes you can get all that [ __ ] through amazon yeah but it's a different i need to like you you need to not pay for you need to pay for it through amazon that's stupid i already have my account no it is stupid but it's the solution and then here's another thing that happened so okay so i plugged in my little [ __ ] so i plugged in my little [ __ ] stick so that i have my smart tv for my apps and then my stick for my hbo then on my smart tv i have disney plus so i'm going to watch disney plus and one day it freezes and i'm like what's going on my sister stopped paying for disney plus that we pay for together and she's like oh i'm just going to use ethan her my soon to be brother-in-law his father's account but now on my smart tv my disney plus is frozen it's trying to log into an account that doesn't exist i've unplugged the tv i've plugged it back in disney plus is broken i can't use it on my tv so now disney plus i have to also use on my stupid [ __ ] stick yeah the smart tv is dumb a little bit dumb i like my biggest problem with the tv i have which is the same comes from tv it's the frame which i love it you can have art on it those are cute other things to go about are great however when you turn on the tv it must turn on to a channel that plays content like it it has its own like built-in free tv channel yeah it has its own like weird like channel system that it just has channels they're all terrible yeah they're all deafening it doesn't matter what how loud it was when you turn the tv off when it comes on it's the loudest [ __ ] [ __ ] in the world and you're like and and while the rest of the smart tv is loading while the apps are all loading somehow it's loaded just fine and is blaring whatever it has on and the re so you're like please just start netflix just [ __ ] load please and you're listening to whatever it decided or whatever you have settled on is the least defensive choice which mine is waves so it's just crashing waves when it's on tv but when i bought the tv the default for it was like uh i think it was bet which is not a problem it's just really loud blaring hip-hop music every time you turn on tv no matter what time it is is intense yeah and sometimes the verbiage is quite intense for when you're turning on the tv at like seven in the morning and it's just intense lyrics like oh this is very loud there's a lot happening and you it like you can't turn it off until you load something else and if that something else is taking a while to load it will just blare that for 30 seconds so we bought a frame as well it's our our second tv if you guys don't know it's this tv that the appeal is that at a very low energy amount it looks like a painting yeah so you can cycle through different paintings and then it has a beautiful frame that's why it's called the frame i bought it you have to pay a subscription for the paintings it's like two dollars a month to get five dollars oh yeah but but you can there there are free paints there's like three this is so that's crazy i was i feel so hoodwinked it's not an inexpensive television so you think you're that that should just be a part of it yeah and then it's not i need to find out because we have frames here at the office i need to get our login because i just i just out of principle it's not that i can't afford it i just feel wrong do you want to do it or maybe you want to go in together on one we already have one but you don't think you bought it right outside i'll pay half sure per tv no idea i have no idea how it works let's wrap this [ __ ] up yeah we have to we haven't even talked about like are the people that made all these art are they getting paid for this art that's a great point that is you know one of the things people are excited about for nfts is that artists could finally yeah but i'm gonna tell you i follow garyvee he retweets a lot of them looks like a lot of garbage to me yeah it doesn't look like anything i'd want it looks like a lot of nfts oh yeah you see visa bought one well i think it's about the problem is that it's not really about the artist about what it means in the con people think they're gonna get rich in 20 years yeah which is i don't think true like i think there's cool stuff going on in that space that's actually stuff that's not about the art and it's about like buying into communities that is interesting [Music] it's all too young to really understand what it is yeah yeah so i'll tell you [Applause] i i grabbed this shirt out of the back of my closet yeah it's like returning to an old friend this is a six-year-old shirt really wow becky gets rid of all my old [ __ ] yeah but we turn them into rags and we use them to clean until they get too gross and then we throw them away you're like there's that shirt i used to love down cycling swiping down yeah oh let me tell ya you guys know that i love dumb [ __ ] when i was a kid i bought this shirt at a times square gift shop it was uh it was nyc blackout yeah like 2003. i i think they're maybe i forget what you're making 2004 there was a blackout in new york city and i thought it was so preposterously stupid that they made a shirt for her yeah i'm like i have to own it it was my [ __ ] pride and joy i loved this shirt my mom abhorred it she naturally hated it but like it was a hit people like thought it was so funny yeah it was cool uh one day the shirt goes missing and i'm like what oh [ __ ] like where is the shirt um two months later i see cleaning no wiping she turned it into a [ __ ] rag she took my shirt and cut it up without my permission that's crazy and then i said where is it and she goes oh i don't know she [ __ ] knew what she was doing well mom there's a lot of little like small indiscretions that i hold as true trauma and that's one of them yeah i have a lot of people have a lot of trust issues yeah maybe that's why i can't get rid of shirts stuff yeah they're you're afraid they're gonna become rags yeah it's like uh like in toy story well if you aren't supposed to spill secrets about other media companies to be movies or you need advice about something else we have an advice man here his name is miles he has a segment you know the segment it's advice i'll go for miles with miles monsignor and while he does that i'm going to hold my break it's advice it'll go for miles tune it to your radio station it's advice it'll go for miles everyone get ready miles nation [Music] miles [Applause] [Music] what's up miles nation how y'all doing tonight nice keep going bro you got this zack's still holding that i laughed i laughed have y'all ever wanted to walk like a duck you're trying to tell people how not not to fall down have y'all ever wanted to get going at a pace that feels comfortable to your spine and your toes must be make a type of insole maybe a shoe you got to a minute nice and there was like five or six seconds before yeah where is my spine where is mine oh where is my spine posture i'm giving up because it's unpleasant you gotta not forget about your posture oh yeah my hips have been killing me since weeks ago and i think it's because of a couple reasons but the main reason is because when i sit i cross my legs now i've given this advice before but this is an update uh-huh you see what i'm doing right here the result you're doing right there this is bad my update is for us specifically is long-legged boys we have a bigger problem with this keith and i have hernias they cut open our ball sacks well no they went through my belly button what but uh you got you gotta make sure your posture still is tall and it's something about the you gotta flex your you gotta kind of turn your pelvic hips you kinda gotta do like a kegel can you guys do kegels yeah i want to do them right now with my butt yeah oh well that's over exaggerating what i get you know what i'm talking about he's kind of oh yeah you're flexing your taint yeah yeah i'm doing that how does it feel fine i'm like what's the fastest you can go i don't i feel like i don't you'll i think i'm happy [Music] oh my god god miles you're disgusting last week you talked about diarrhea hot this is lava we're talking about this this is disgusting they're talking about posture zach said giggle you said you had to do something with your butt and flex yeah you have to you kind of have to like you have to tilt your pelvic floor so that it's parallel to the ground or something that makes you oh my god that is not what makes me don't even get me started let's move on i'll be advising what has happened what are the results of you changing your posture did you change your posture well i haven't done it yet but i think that it's kind of like you said this was an update just when you're walking you know what i heard actually recently what did you hear what did you hear recently you're not on the mic if you stand if you stand up if you stand and then it's about if you're if the pen tilts inward you need to your hips need to yeah okay so my shoulders okay myles is standing with a pen oh your shoulders aren't rolled back yeah so like look at rest if you're holding a pen if the pen is not at your sides like if the pen points inward you want to be parallel you want it to be parallel which means you need to like adjust your shoulders and to be pulled back a little bit and pretty much everyone's gonna have a hunchback because you're [ __ ] phones that was me popping you're cracking all over bro um and pretty much everyone's gonna have a hunchback so you just have to like really be careful with it especially if you sit for your job which is i do everyone and pretty much everyone and if not then you stand for your job and that's gonna have its own [ __ ] problems yeah and if you don't stand stop for something what will you fall for oh [ __ ] it's just good something you have to constantly remind yourself i'm sure everybody as they're listening is like adjusting this yeah everyone does and then you never it never sticks so i've i've got this big old bag of bones this arthritic [ __ ] body over here and i uh unfortunately have not been sleeping well at all i haven't been uh a lot of people oh buddy um but my my dude that i've been working with shout out to john the vegan he uh has given me this routine that uh have not been doing uh but i need to start he told me three days ago haven't done it where uh he wants me to pick a time and like 15 minutes before i would normally get to bed 20 minutes put my phone in the other room and do this series of hip stretches and neck stretches because i feel my hips are really actually in a lot of pain when i go to bed like by the time i get into bed my hips already in pain so then i'm rolling over it's whatever i don't mean to make it sad um but anyway i think that that is a good thing that like we could all use some before bed stretching becky and i have been doing the occasional before bed stretch it's very nice also like after all the flying that we did from greece i've been tricked so i we worked out yesterday and then i also tried to like actually stretch the amount you're supposed to post and before the workout and finally my hips feel a little less tight but i still i need you know we all should stretch more you should just stretch apparently every day just stretch just stretch it uh i don't know if before we end this podcast i don't know if this is real but someone on instagram tagged me look at this [ __ ] someone got a zack as a vagina tattoo on their ankle i looked at her page she has tattoos that could be real then you're gonna put a tattoo of me anywhere on your body to grace me on your ankle means the world guy so you know i saw this uh somewhere i think someone sent it to becky yesterday but they have year-long temporary tattoos oh that's so cool year long it's perfect that for sure yes it only lasts for like a year eventually it will fade completely by the end of the year i wonder if it so okay we should link up because there was a company that lauren had sent me i thought it was only like a month um but i want to do a video where we get a ton of tattoos absolutely get a real tattoo if it wasn't going to be a life long you have a mic a year is great i'm totally down have a funny thing on me for a year i want to get so i've genuinely thought about getting tattoos yeah like all over me yeah and i just am so why are you laughing miles i'm just thinking about you tatted up yeah i want it i like really thinking it would change your vibe it would change my vibe dramatically yeah dramatically about time you have to get the artist to sign off that's true so wait is this one like a tattoo gun i have no idea i've done no research a thousand percent i want to do that i'm in because i'm just so indecisive it's like i don't even know what design i don't know what design i want but even more than that i don't know where on my body so if i can try a year is a little long for me though i'd rather do it for like two months a year is a long time a year is plenty yeah yeah you have to have some ramifications for your decision you know like what if i really otherwise it's barely even a tattoo it already is barely a tattooed i only have it for you but you think like to have a sleeve i don't want to sleep i sleep for like a month that would be a big change that's a huge change it'd be really cool like i'm talking about very visible ones yeah if you got like a [ __ ] [ __ ] stamp or whatever is that an offensive i don't know the [ __ ] community might take well the lady in the [ __ ] movie i don't think that's what they mean you're waiting a little dog i don't know i don't know miles what is the [ __ ] in the [ __ ] stamp i mean is the [ __ ] like is it a rascally man and he stamps the woman no it's the lady the lady is the lady is now a [ __ ] because of her choice of tattoo placement what does [ __ ] mean uh it's just like a hoe a show so it's lady and the hoe we gotta wrap this i don't know i mean i don't know let's look at this no miles no miles no no what does [ __ ] [ __ ] mean in [ __ ] stamp and then i'll look up lady in the hoe lady in the ho uh it's a derogatory return referring to a tattoo which a woman places on her lower back we know that i know i'm trying to find more you know okay [ __ ] verb walk heavily or noisily noun a person who travels from place to place on foot in search of work as a vagrant or beggar well it's okay so these terms as tramps [ __ ] or other derogatory sexually princio's terms although these are often often biased generalized terms there have been sociological studies done by the american psychological association federal bureau of prisons and other demographic researchers showing a strong correlated correlative evidence associating tattoos with high-risk behavior illegal substance abuse and sexual promiscuity but that's tattoos in general not just uh the placement i mean i love yeah drug use and sexual promiscuity no no i don't have one either i'd love to get one though i think only zach has one yeah no i'm a bad boy he's a bad boy i know okay so a [ __ ] is a beggar right so and it's a derogatory especially in lady and the [ __ ] it's right dog so it could be that the etymology of the word is that oh that person is of a lowly status therefore it is a [ __ ] stamp or it could be the grosser version begging for promiscuous actions therefore just a [ __ ] stamp of welcoming this is such a are you glad we podcast yeah you know we've gone all over the place urban dictionary i was also on urban dictionary um it's it's maybe we should do an urban dictionary grab bag one day yeah i would say um i don't like the word [ __ ] i'm gonna go ahead and say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember that after 15 minutes we figured it out hey you know what how did i bring it up or you said it i think miles said it no i just i think it was miles i think it was miles how dare you look i'm just gonna say this there's some words that are in your vernacular and then you you get to a point you realize like wait huh what is that word what's the etymology of that word etymology and that's why we have to look at urban dictionary yeah every podcast [Music] to learn to learn a little learn a little we've learned a lot today you know my super short show my show show you remember that before your time allison stone allison stoner was uh you remember my superstar show yeah well it's been a perfect episode keith it is with the official tripod theme song oh i wonder when the lunch will come into mile's mouth i hope the lunch really comes into his mouth i hopes he gets the sandwich puts it in front of his face and then it comes into his mouth i'm just using the word come as a rival it's a tripod uh jordan's on japan for the afterpod here we go you

Channel: TryPods

Views: 140,160

Keywords: tryguys, keith, ned, zach, eugene, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops, podcast, advice, miles, miles nation, secrets, show, talkshow, behind the scenes, youtubers, ramble, audio, video podcast, clip, segment, silly, becky, maggie, you can sit with us, try wives, girls, female, women, commentary, garrick bernard, kelsey darragh, movies, tv

Id: 5IiXAsxYqxc

Length: 77min 8sec (4628 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 23 2021