r/AmiTheA**Hole For Hiding My Finances From JustnoMIL?

g'day there guys it's your main man Maki back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now if you love this content like I love you I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and get ready for some bloody good content posted by user roderick geeking titles am I the a-hole for telling my drywall guy to stop bugging my babysitter we are doing some home renovations and so workers are in the house today two guys were putting up drywall in the living room while our babysitter is playing with our daughter in the family room while I'm working in my downstairs office I hear the drywall guy asking personal questions to my babysitter until her answers started getting shorts and a tone changes he says so what do you live north of here yeah but where it's kind of a weird spots that's when I finally walked upstairs and told him what is this the census she's watching my kid let her be I thought I did it in a joking manner but I guess it came off harsher than I intended my wife promptly informed me I was an a-hole to the guy and the babysitter had it under control I get that white knighting is a thing and that I may be out of touch with where I should be putting my foot down so I leaved the verdict to all of you and I the a-hole I'd say that he rent the room rights and that he was starting to overstep his boundaries a drywall guy I think he was well within his rights to say hey you here to do your job she's here to do her job just leave her alone let's just chill but you get back to your work I would say that's fair enough and I don't know if the wife read the room like he did so because of that I don't think he's the a whole not the a whole and big blessings to you your babysitter probably felt obligated to remain polite while working you the real MVP absolutely I didn't take it as white knighting and especially if your babysitter is a teenager or younger woman it was likely appreciated teenage me certainly wasn't confident enough to shut down creepy dudes and I would have felt relieved knowing someone who employs me had my back in that kind of way don't doubt yourself for a second derpy yes hell I'm in my 20s and wouldn't be comfortable shutting him down you're gonna love your 30s then not even a twinge of guilt about sending someone on their way not the a-hole this was the exact right thing to do agreed if she was giving off the vibe that she did not want that attention and she was in your house you are absolutely justified in telling them off whoever is in your house is under your protection Opie says I like that under my house and under my protection has a common partake in salt and bread vibe I'm gonna steal that from you in your house and under your employments this is like a cashier being harassed by a customer for personal information for a date etc and they manager walks up and puts an end to it because the employee cannot fully express their discontent without jeopardizing their role by being rude to send customer red declining the attention they're getting not the a-hole that's creepy likely better to have said please don't interrupt my babysitter she has her hands full with her work and needs to be fully focused on my children but what you said is fine and it's certainly not appropriate to have the babysitter fend for herself if she's working in your home it's your job to ensure other folks also working in your home respect her and don't act creepy I like that wedding thank you for your inputs I actually like the way you said it it's funny also not the a-hole the guy is there to do a job not chat up the babysitter posted by user throwaway mother-in-law at 12:08 titled am I the a-hole for hiding my finances from future mother-in-law I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of three years for background he's an oncologist his parents divorced when he was five mother-in-law and never remarried or had more kids but father-in-law did and so fiance has a younger half-brother and a stepmom I have a BA and MBA from decent schools but I quit my conventional office job to be a yoga teacher and eventually opened my own yoga studio mother-in-law was not outwardly hostile towards me more like Polites but very cold she taught Beyonce it was because a yoga teacher was good enough for him why couldn't he find a nice lady doctor or nurse at work etc fiance told me this because we don't keep secrets but I never mentioned it to mother-in-law I just stopped trying so hard she would periodically warn fiance I was out for his money because he's a doctor he needs someone on the same level what mother-in-law did not learn until after we were engaged is that through my grandfather I have a substantial trust funds I have zero student loans are paid off home car and owned my studio with no debts I keep this information private from most people because I don't want to be judged for it I didn't tell fiance until about 15 months into our relationship when we got engaged she was telling fiance he needs a prenup and that's when he told her about my finances she lost her minds told him he and I should not have withheld that information we were disrespectful deceitful manipulative etc she then started trying to act like my best friends I maintained a polite distance she asked my fiance why and he told her that I knew he didn't like me because a yoga teacher isn't good enough y'all she turned on the waterworks tears sobs said he should not have told me and that he ruined her relationship with her future daughter-in-law I think she's full of it's his father and stepmom have been kind accepting warm and loving to me since the day we met it didn't matter that I'm just a yoga teacher his mother insists I and my fiance a cruel and deceitful I think people like her are the reason I am right to hide my financial situation fiance thinks we should apologize just to smooth things over and clean the slate I've no interest in doing sir so am I the a-hole edits for those asking my fiance would defend me when she insulted me she did know I owned the studio but assumed that I financed with loans he did not have my explicit permission to share my finances with her but was so sick of her harping about a prenup he wanted to shut her up as for all the advice about the prenup this was always the plan which my fiance is obviously fine with she's probably going to lose her mind I've poked around to ingest no mother-in-law and I think my fiancee is what people refer to as a surrogate spouse to his mother another incident comes to mind when she started crying where he wanted to spend his birthday dinner on the day of his birthday with me instead of her and offered her the day before or after that's clearly not healthy yeah I definitely don't think they're the a-hole for this they this man has a very unhealthy relationship with his mother-in-law and through my extensive research of the just no mother-in-law subreddits I can clearly say that she has a lot of problems that she needs to sort out and he needs to sort it out with her if that comes in the form of he needs to limit contact with her for a while or cut her off for a bit because the toxic mentality continues to spill into their personal lives then so be it but either way Opie is not the a-hole for holding back her finances this long and I still question why he decided to disclose that to her that's kind of like I understand why he did it I still don't know why he did it there it seems a stupid thing to do he should know his mum more than any of us not the a-hole keep an eye on how much your fiance wants to placate his mother that he thinks you should apologize for her bad behavior just to keep the peace is worrisome your finances as a single person and the finances of both you as a married couple and none of her concern she was wrong to ask about them and she was wrong to try to tell her son what to do any truthful apology that I can think of would probably not suit I am sorry for thinking that you meant it when you said a yoga teacher wasn't good enough for your son I apologize for not realizing how interested you are in things that are none of your business like my finances perfect answer sorry is such a shallow person I hate how much value is placed on money etc sigh yeah given how little willpower the fiance has with his mom I think I repeated get a prenup to protect her assets mother-in-law obviously sees her son as a meal tickets she didn't want another woman entering the picture who would take away those resources from her now she's being nice because she sees a as a meal ticket as well I wouldn't be surprised if her fiancee is already giving his mum money and plans to give her a substantial sum when he's retired RP needs to have these conversations now before the wedding was going to say this exactly RP is definitely not the a-hole but a prenup is still a great idea to protect herself in the case the future mother-in-law and fiance can't cut the proverbial umbilical cord too many marriages end because of overly involved in laws as it is so it seems like the best way to go forward with the marriage to me the fact he's honest with Opie is a clear indication that he's not tied to mummys apron strings I wouldn't apologize because you even kept it from your fiance for over a year you keep it from everyone which is smart that shows excellent judgment on your parts and clearly the fiance grieves frankly future mother-in-law should be thankful her son is marrying someone with good sense posted by user chaos kitten titled am I the a-hole for not telling someone I can read lips this happened pre covered by the way I've had hearing loss for most of my life but it was diagnosed when I was about 7 years old so I learned to read lips at the same time I was learning to speak I'm very proficient in reading lips whenever I work with someone new I make sure to let them know that I have hearing loss and to make sure that they are facing me and I'm aware that they're talking to me I've never actually mentioned to any co-workers that I could read lips but I'm pretty sure most of them at least suspected strongly a new co-workers started and I did my customary introduction and disclaimer about my hearing I don't think she believed me because she got very offended when I ignored her the problem being she was trying to get my attention from behind me and I genuinely did not hear her once someone got my attention I apologized to her and pointed out that I did have hearing loss and that wasn't a way that she was talking to me a few days later she was venting to a mutual co-worker the only problem was that she was facing me and I could read her lips perfectly after a few minutes I approached her and let her know that if she was going to crap talk someone the she needed to make sure that they couldn't understand her and that I was reading her lips the entire time I told her I was upset that she wouldn't just come to me and that I did tell her twice that I was partially deaf and couldn't hear her she freaked out because apparently I was being rude by reading her lips when she was facing me no no you're not being rude by reading her lips when she was facing you she is stupid enough to carry out this toxic behavior and continuous negative actions towards you I really don't blame you for what you've done here she needs a healthy dose of respect injected straight into that brain of hers to help correct the stupidity of her existence Hopi not the a-hole sounds like you taught her a very important lesson and she was embarrassed glad you called her out and stuck up for yourself this sounds like one of those stories where people are crap talking the waiter behind their back in a different language but the waiter actually speaks the language of law not the a-hole I have severe progressive hearing loss and read lips I can't turn it off did you know puppets say blah blah blah not the a-hole I always read puppets as ah ah ah but seriously I had an ear issue as a child that wasn't caught until I'd lost 75% hearing in both ears being so young I easily adapted by learning to read lips luckily it was reversible for me sir my hearing is okay now I guess my brief experience with hearing loss gave me some insights but I usually just assume when someone asks me to get their attention before speaking to them that they need to read my lips to have a conversation oh and definitely not the a-hole I don't know anyone personally with hearing loss and even I would assume someone who says they have hearing loss and needs to be facing me would need to read my lips that just seems obvious to me why else would they be asking that not the a-hole also suffer from partial hearing loss and read lips I tell co-workers I'm hearing impaired for the same reason and some people did think I was purposefully ignoring them before I started I feel like everyone already knows I read lips because I work behind a loud bar and will look at people's lips while they speak but it's not some superpower law and it's not rude to do don't talk crap if you don't want them to find out honestly I feel like everybody I work with knows I can read lips because multiple people have commented that I'm always staring at their lips when they're talking and I'm just going like well yes of course I am what do you want me to do posted by user foxy cake 743 seven titles am I the a-hole for giving a company my honest opinion on the interview process when they asked for it I applied for a job a few months ago it was a completely online work from home job regardless of the current situation so all communication and process was done online this was for a retail consult position for the online shoppers they could seek advice from the consultant if they needed help choosing products I received an email saying that they would like to interview me sweet I got an email link for a zoom call the next week I had no idea how many people would be on this call or who I would be talking to I joined the call and there's like thirty of us on there the hiring rep tells us all to meet ourselves as we will be listening and not talking we proceed to sit through a two-hour presentation on the company history their finances goals and every little gritty detail that nobody actually cares about at the end of the presentation they told us that they had been watching our faces to see how our engagement was during the presentation to determine who would move on to the next interview step they said they would select five people out of the thirty on the call after the call they wanted us to write a three page essay about a particular topic from the list they provided us we had two hours to turn it in well I did not get selective and received the email the next day along with that email was an attached form they wanted reviewing the interview process with a blank box at the ends to give them our honest opinion on the interview process I told them honestly that I found it a bit inappropriate and not very well organized that I had to dedicate five hours of my time to an interview for a position they weren't even considering me for I explained that had I been in the final pool of candidates it would have been fine but having me watch a two-hour presentation on the company and write up as three page essay just so I can be in the first step was just not the business I received a nasty email back from the hiring recruiter saying that they glad they didn't tie me with that kind of an attitude and just a bunch of other rude stuff I didn't reply my boyfriend and mom think I was out of line and that if I really wanted the job I wouldn't have an issue with doing all of that work again I wouldn't if I was actually being considered for employment but I just found it weird that I had to go through all that as a preliminary screen am I the a-hole edits a lot of people are telling me this is an MLM slash pyramid scheme it looks like it's but it definitely wasn't I found the job on indeed they are a company similar to Alta / Sephora who sell their own products as well as other brands the job was basically to be like an online Sephora employee way people could request help matching foundation shades asking skincare questions etc I'm just gonna say then not the a-hole for this they wanted honest feedback they got their honest feedback they wasted a lot of people's time in the process that is not a normal interview online they should probably check themselves before more people start talking out against them for this not the a-hole I wouldn't have even made it to the end of the presentation that is a bad way of interviewing candidates sounds very much like MLM slash pyramid scheme practices - not the a-hole I would have dropped out of that immediately not the a-hole also would have dropped out of the presentation if I had somehow made it through and got told to do an essay I either would have laughed and nope doubts or they would have gotten three pages worth of some choice words yeah totally not the a-hole sounds like really shady practices especially with the rude email back in reply any decent company would accept that honest criticism to improve themselves I mean they bloody asked for it also why the hell does the mum and boyfriends not support Opie and not think it sounds sketchy as hell I don't get their perspective at all sounds like they're desperate for Opie to get a job or something screw that noise there is an annoyingly prevalent idea that if you really want something you will be willing to jump through any number of ridiculous hoops to get it and we'll never turned around and see what the hell this is stupid people who are absolutely desperate usually will put up with a lot of crap even if they know they're being taken advantage of on the logic that a crap job is better than no job and some people seem to mistake that description for dedication leading to the well if you really wanted an attitude to people who aren't that desperate this entire process seems set up to find and take advantage of those people who really need a job and is struggling to find one given the current situation not the a-hole if a company doesn't respect your time during the interview process they won't respect your time when you walk there if they're unprofessional enough to send you a nasty response to honest feedback that reinforces my perception that this is a crappy company that you're lucky to have avoided I'd be tempted to leave a review on glass tour two and warn other people off definitely write a review on Glassdoor I'd be tempted to name and shame on our slash recruiting hell as well because that's just unacceptable behavior posted by user throw away Oh two seven three nine nine titles am I the a-hole for not telling my wife our daughter is a lesbian throw away my wife is on reddit my daughter 24 female is a lesbian and I found out by accidents when she was fifteen and I saw her in her room kissing a female friend she didn't realize that I saw them so I just moved away slowly and quietly I told her the next day what I saw and she came out to me I told her it was okay and that this wouldn't change anything in our relationship I suggested she tell her mom slash my wife and she said she would tell her one day when she's ready but I should keep it a secret I asked her why she didn't want to tell her and she said her mom has a big mouth and she didn't want other people to know especially her grandparents my wife's parents are homophobic so I just let it be and kept the secret as it wasn't my secret to tell well my wife recently found out when my daughter brought her long-term girlfriend term who was now her fiance to introduce her to my wife I've known about this girl since they started dating he and met her parents my wife got angry and asked our daughter why she kept this secret from her parents my daughter responded by saying I knew and I was the one supporting my wife then asked me how long I've known about this and I told her the truth about everything well I'm now being called a liar which is true and I understand that I lied all this time but it wasn't my secret to terrible she's accused me of living a double life and sneaking out at night to have dinner with my daughter's secret lovers also true but my daughter asked me to meet her girlfriend and they asked me to meet her parents I even play golf with my daughter's fiance's father then my wife did what my daughter feared about telling her the truth she called the whole family and some of her friends now me and my daughter are being called a-holes for keeping such a big secret I'm being called a horrible lying husband I just need the opinions of the Internet strangers on if I'm the a-hole or nots I'm gonna go with not the a-hole on this one and we can see her immediate reaction she's not understanding she won't take your side on it she just yells at you yells at the whole family gets them to go against you I don't blame you for keeping the secret from her in all honesty look what's happened as a result of it but it had to come out at some time and that time is now and sometimes we just have to deal with the consequences of our actions even if you're not the a whole in this situation which she is not the a-hole sounds like your daughter was right to hold off telling her mum your wife is making your daughter coming out about herself instead of supporting her daughter that's despicable edits to Egger other comments you sound like a really good dad Opie added to I'm a lesbian so I can understand the daughters position wholeheartedly and I stand by Opie making the right choice the saddest part to me is that the daughter knew the mum would make it all about her one way or another not the a-hole at all and a good father not the a-hole maybe you can take your daughter away from her psycho selfish mother for a couple days I think it's important for parents to realize they're not entitled to their kids deep thoughts and secrets that information has to be earned if a parent hasn't built a rapport of trust then later finds out their child was hiding something from them they better take a long hard look in the mirror instead of immediately blaming everyone around them the mum's reaction only reinforced that she couldn't be trusted the mum really missed a golden opportunity to show them she can respect boundaries not the a-hole it's your daughter's decision when she tells people the golden rule is to never out anyone you did the right thing your wife is probably just annoyed she wasn't trusted her B's wife is oblivious to the fact she's just reinforced the reason her daughter didn't trust her enough to confide in her thank goodness she's got one parent she can trust to have her back without using her as gossip fodder Oh P you were 100% not the a-hole exactly my mum found out I am gay and basically forced me to tell my dad because she didn't want to keep the secret she was fine and it was always her I was worried about telling and that reaction just reinforced that I couldn't trust her it's been years and I'm still uncomfortable telling her things and telling my dad who I would actually want to know out of fear that they would tell my secrets by keeping her daughter's secrets you told her you can be trusted and that she doesn't need to be afraid completely not the a hole not the a hole you respected your daughter's right to privacy she asked you not to tell you correctly suggested she should and respected her desire not to I can see why your wife is upset but your daughter obviously needed time before potentially inviting unwanted comments and pressure you've been a supportive father if he had told your wife he would have linked me daughter down at a stage when she may have been less able to cope and dopey says and her fear of being judged is now happening my daughter and I have been getting calls all over the place from the family I really hope they're supportive calls I really hope they're not toxic calls from that family posted by user gay lad throw away titles would I be the a-hole if I failed a juniors probation period because he's reported me several times to the bosses this is a weird one I work in a digital agency we hired a 19 year old to pick up and learn how our business works for our digital sector I'm the manager of the digital departments I have a team of about 8 members and we're a closed group as most of us have been working together for over five years I've been here for eight and I've been with the company since it was only the six of us were now a business of over 70 people this 19 year old we hired is a big client son my boss who was good friends with the clients offered him the job subject to probation period without us posting anything online for people to apply I am the one that trains him up and I will be the one to approve his probation period but I'm not sure if he's aware of that as my boss is the one that hired him this 19 year old was meant to started March but then the lockdown hit so we pushed it back a month we thrived during the lockdown and thus needed more resource so we took him on in April it was challenging training someone through Microsoft teams but he was picking up things very quickly I'd say that we spent a good 2 hours a day on a call together we got on pretty well and I liked him after the first two months he was fitting in well and it was all good a digital department had a quiz night a few days before we were planning on coming back into the office since a lot of the digital guys know my partner I invited my partner to the quiz I'm guessing that the new junior didn't know I was gay as I'm considered very straight passing the quiz went well and we all had a laugh now last week we were in the office and I immediately got pulled into the HR zone I know most of the HR people well and some of us have friends outside of work someone quote-unquote had reported me of trying to make a pass at them on Microsoft teams meetings they were time-stamped and it's very clear that it was the junior I told them that nothing at all happens and I didn't make a pass at all the HR lady knows me well and knows that I'm not into anyone younger than me at all it was kind of left at that yesterday I got called into the HR office again this time I was reported for the same thing but I was also reported for leaving the office early on Friday half an hour early but I confirmed with my boss before hands I'm now under investigation for sexual harassment although my HR representative said I shouldn't worry as she doesn't think anything will come of it since I literally haven't done anything now I'm not meant to know who this person is but I know 100% that it's the junior who was reporting me my HR friend heavily hinted to me this is his last week of probation a lot of the digital guys aren't fond of him and I can fail his probation period based on failure to work collaboratively but he's a pretty good worker I'm not worried about the sexual harassment investigation since I have nothing to hide would I be the a halt for terminating his probation edits a colleague has found the Junior's Twitter Sammy's name as his Instagram and same DP where he has stated multiple homophobic tweets one that was posted a week ago that seems possibly directed about me this has gone into my documents which I will be showing to my boss on Thursday I have asked for the HR rep that is handling the case to join I'm feeling a lot better about this situation and feel like it will work out for the best for me headed to so the title is stupid I apologize for that it definitely makes it seem like I'm failing him purely based on him going against me terribly worded yeah whoa that's took a huge turn didn't it he just straight up as soon as he found out he was gay he's like sexual harassment I think we've got a very clear and cut case that this guy is not right in the head and I don't think he's fit for that job in all honesty if at the first sign of just seeing you being gay he tries to get you out of there based on false sexual harassment claims the workforce has no place for people like that and good riddance if he gets fired Opie not the a-hole accusing people of actions they didn't commit is definitely bad for group cohesion personality clashes with the digital guys ads - it's exactly this reeks of homophobia and he is willing to lie and abuse the company processes for his own ends and even if you could get in trouble for giving this as the reason and I definitely recommend you stay and on these details they are still very good reasons not the a-hole it's just so strange there it doesn't seem to result to homophobia he was so cool and fine with me before this quiz we shared interests in went lifting gaming etc told him I'm into woodwork too and was asking me tips on the best varnishes for his furniture etc I know I don't give off the gay vibe at all but as if just this one thing seems to be the issue I've thankfully never experienced homophobia in my life before and never would have expected it from someone so young either not that it excuses anything at all but I wonder if he has very little experience with gay or otherwise LGBTI plus people and was shocked to find out that he had a genuine connection with someone from a group he had previously considered other maybe that alarmed him on some level and made him reconsider your genuinely friendly interactions and common ground connections through a malicious lens one if he's the son of a big clients this is not going to go as smoothly as it might if you were unrelated to any one this client will raise a stink when his son is terminated to being terminated after he's made a complaints could be viewed as retaliation for making the complaints depending on where you are this could also drag a lot of lawyers into the mix three his claim that you've harassed him then terminated him can be viewed as supporting his claim the HR people are not your friends and their primary priority is protecting the company do not listen to them and sit back thinking everything is going to be fine they are paid to protect the interests of the company in HR matters not the employees you may want to contact some employment lawyers and get some advice regarding how best to protect your interests you may also want to sit down and gather documentation and organize your notes regarding his performance so that they can corroborate why you recommended not hiring him permanently you need to sit down and document in detail every conversation with HR copy all the emails as you may have suddenly find you've lost email access and keep a log of all further discussions being right or innocent may be insufficient to save your job and that's very good advice I hope that he listens to that and takes that in this is not gonna be a quick situation anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this one today I hope you have a good day night's sleep whatever you're up to say hi to out Rumaki alright guys that's all for today's video I hope you enjoyed this one today tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below um if you're not subscribed to the channel I would love you to subscribe because I love your face and I love seeing you here every single day that you are here in this video I don't know what else to say today guys I hope you enjoyed the content I do have a second channel that's called marquee - link should be up on the screen somewhere here if you don't have ad block installed if you don't know where to find the channel you can go to my main page just click on the marquee face and it should be on the right somewhere there or on channels if you're unfun I hope you guys have a good one I'll see you in the next one bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 45,414

Rating: 4.9382582 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: J27FgJn7E_Q

Length: 32min 5sec (1925 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 02 2020