Temple B'nai Tzedek: The Real Truth Behind Anti Semitism

i think if we had to sum it up uh hasidic philosophy approach to being a jew is that being a jew does not involve a religion judaism is not a religion and jews historically are not good at being religious it's just not our style we stood at mount sinai and god said don't make raven images 40 days later we said [Music] we're not we're not the religious type we're not easily convinced because for all practical purposes religion has basically deteriorated or just evolved into a certain for a certain lifestyle a certain behavior that brings you some spiritual or heavenly benefits it'll get you to heaven it'll protect you from satan it'll give you enlightenment that's a religion you you make a make a deal i'll give up some of my physical comforts you give me some spiritual benefits or in different words to be religious means you want to get a little closer to heaven in some way whatever the hasidic approach is god never asked us to do that he came down to mount sinai to tell us how to bring him down to earth not get us to heaven so we're going in an opposite direction judaism is not a religion because we're not trying to become more spiritual we're trying to make god more physical because the whole point of creation is that with our efforts we can make a physical world into a godly world so we're really serving god because he created the world for a purpose and it can't happen without us so we're truly serving his purpose not trying to get something from him and that changes everything for one thing let's say you haven't been very religious for 50 years and then one day you wake up and say you know i'd like to uh well i want to be good a little late don't you think i mean if you want to be among the saints when they come marching in you blew it you're not going to be among the saints so it's discouraging on the on the other hand if you're here to serve god and you haven't served him for 50 years oh what are you waiting for by all means do it now what you did to yourself is beside the point so you were corrupt you were indifferent you didn't care all right but god is still waiting for our service to do to do what we can for his purpose so if he didn't do it yesterday if there's less of a judgment on ourselves and there's more a concern with have we made the world better so if you haven't made the world better all your life should you hesitate to do it today or is there all the more reason to do it today you haven't done much until now we'll get started so there's much more forgiveness in judaism than in any religion because in the religion you're trying to make yourself special well if you didn't you didn't you blew it not gonna get special after 50 years of not being special but the objective is not to become special so we really should not consider judaism a religion so hey everybody talks about the judeo-christian they're going in opposite directions christianity benefits from god when they observe christianity in judaism god benefits from us very different uh the beauty of judaism versus other religions or religions is that it's also uh the antidote to narcissism because we're by nature pretty selfish creatures and we're actually encouraged to think about ourselves first you have to love yourself you have to validate yourself you have to take care of yourself and then on top of that religion comes along and says you also have to save yourself you have to get rewarded in heaven it's just more and more me me me and it really makes us sick eventually you're just choking on you know enough already about me stop it so if you know one more salesman knocks on the door and says i have a way to make your life better i'm going to shoot them enough get me past myself i got i got myself all right i don't need help with that so all the psychotic pop psychology you have to love yourself i do you have to validate yourself i do you have to do what you feel comfortable yes yes tell me something i don't know so when you come along and say whatever your talents are whatever your strengths are whatever your weaknesses are can you take a break and do something for god like for 10 minutes no can't do that so to find out that god needs us is really the antidote to i need everything so here's the choice according to hasidic philosophy the choice in life is do you want to be needy or do you want to be needed that's it the whole story of life if you're needy you're never going to be happy if you're needed you have no reason to ever be sad it makes sense so who needs you who needs you well whoever created you i hope because if you were created for no reason then there is no reason that nobody needs you so the punchline of the whole thing is and you've got to chew on this for a while we got god all wrong he needs us much more than we need because he created us we didn't ask him we didn't demand to be created he did it obviously he's after something so how did we become the needy ones so when you think you know hey i didn't create the world so what do i need i don't need anything somebody created the world that guy's got an agenda so if we can find out what his agenda is then we know why we're here if he doesn't have an agenda then you're here for nothing does it sound like religion like common sense it's psychologically really really healthy as soon as you start thinking about your needs you're getting depressed no matter how much how many of your needs are met or how many of your needs are not met as soon as you start thinking i need you're depressed the happiest people are the people who don't seem to need much but if they can do you a favor they love it you know any such people you know one such person they're so much fun to be with they're so easy to be with they don't depress you because they're not depressed so that's the hasidic approach now if you look at the torah if you look at judaism and its source you realize that is actually what what the torah is saying when god gives us a commandment what does he say behave yourself oh dr phil can tell you that god is saying this is what i need so if you have a few minutes can you help me out so i need you to join me when i observe shabbos because i rested on the seventh day so if we can re-read the entire torah in god's voice like like it was his personal diary fascinating how does the torah read it's a little confusing in the beginning god created who's talking who's the narrator who just said that moses then what do you what do you do with and god spoke to moses save who who wrote that if we changed it not in the beginning god created the heaven and earth in the beginning i created heaven and earth and it was dark so i said let there be light make it personal because that's what it is and then i created people and they got so bad i had to wipe them out so i flooded the whole thing and started all over again if you put it in god's voice everything changes it's not a religion you are not asked to be religious so they sound a little ironic but you're more religious than me because i'm not religious at all i think i think that would be a good development we got to stop calling ourselves religious and then classifying how religious or in what way we are religious we're jews period end of story what's who are the jews going back to anti-semitism who are the jews the jews the jews are the people god turns to when he needs something that's us and pretty much we i mean we're not perfect but we we're we're doing what he needs we try our best to serve him anybody wants to join us and become jewish and fine but that's what it is so a little bit i suspect that some of the anti-semitism not not the the the actual criminals but the fact that people are a little uncomfortable with jews nice people they're not gonna mug you they're not gonna they're not gonna paint a swastika on your door but you know jews they don't know they don't know what to make of it partly because we have never identified ourselves properly and if you remain a mystery people become suspicious so who are you uh we're just americans we're just germans and they say no you're not who are you really and we don't know what to say when's the last time somebody asked you what it means to be jewish and you said well we're the chosen people did you ever say that never say that they say oh so you think you're the chosen people no no no yeah you do so if we can't come across simple transparent clear who are you they become suspicious what are you hiding and even good people become uncomfortable with us so i think we would all be better off and the world would be better off if we were more upfront about who we are we are not a religion we are the chosen people chosen to fulfill god's purpose for which he created the world and if you guys want to help us out gladly use your help that's what you say to your non-jewish friends i think they would like it we had a church group come to the chabad house in minnesota where i live and i i asked them you're like what are you why are you coming why are you and they said well every year they come from a little town in south dakota and they come into minneapolis because that's the big city and they visit jewish establishments jewish organization so they said last year we visited a temple and it was it was a little confusing because the kids asked the rabbi there how does it feel to be the chosen people and the rabbi said there are no chosen people we're all the same we are all equal we're all god's children and these these kids it was a bible class whatever young kids on the bus on the way home they were saying did he never read the bible or does he think we never read the bible we know they're the chosen people why did he say that so we're gonna stop trying to fool people because it's not working you're the chosen people what are you gonna do about that we've tried for a thousand years to play it down it's not working and that's why when jews don't behave properly people get more upset than if anybody else misbehaves so you're supposed to be the chosen people look at the way you're behaving so if we really are the chosen people what should we do not only we should behave like chosen people but we should be the teachers of the world imagine a teacher comes into the classroom sits down at one of the desks and says so what's going on the whole class is going to hate him you're the teacher teach no no i'm one of you no you're not either teacher get out of here i think that's what the world is saying to the jewish people are you the chosen people then teach us something if you're not teaching anything get out of here that's what the germans said that's what the polls said that's what the ukraine the inside you don't belong here and now we're being told we don't belong in israel either so where do we belong at the head of the class if you're here to teach you're welcome if you're just trying to be one of us you're not one of us that's not bad news does make any sense to you so you chosen uh just a little hesitant about that are you the chosen people did you choose to be the chosen people no because it's not about us see if we chose to be the chosen people then it would be a religion we didn't choose to be chosen we don't need anything out of this world we certainly don't need anything from heaven god created the world he needs something and if i can do something for him why not it's a good opportunity so instead of having a competition about who's going to get to heaven first which is ridiculous let's have a competition about who can make this world better better and the result is going to be we have a better world and that's what god created it for yes well so how do we make the world better how do we make the world better any ideas i think the world's in trouble what do you think anybody there are people who believe that god is love and they worship god and they believe in god because he's love but that means that they worship love because if god is love then love is god and i think we're suffering from that because in in popular thinking love is the answer to everything more love better world more love better marriage more love better children it's not working everybody for the last 80 years got married out of love our marriage is doing well not at all everybody loves their children that means children are happy at home no so will somebody please admit that love is not working love is not important it's an idol it's a false god love is not important when someone is important you should love him if he's not important loving him is not going to make him important if somebody's important in your life and you don't love him he's still important can i say something do you think that you don't need love to have a sexual so you're saying sorry you're saying that you don't need love to have a successful marriage right would you love somebody to get married to them down with love they just stopped on the roof last night the years the tails and remember do you love me what was it what was what was goldie's answer yeah what was her answer what was her answer i suppose yeah but what does she say with the evidence of her love for him they do everything together yes all the stuff she does for him i once heard rabbi and so this is everyone's that it's not that you love someone and therefore you do stuff for them but that you do stuff for a person and then you come to love them do you agree and if you happen to not love your kid what do you do i have another one [Laughter] how about you have five and you don't like any of them i really what does a parent do if he doesn't like his kid divorce him throw him out he like tries to love him tries to try to love you see so it's because you're mine i'll work for you i'll save you i'll protect you sometimes i'll even hate you but you're mine so hate is not a threat it doesn't end the relationship so unconditional love that's silly if you love me unconditionally you don't even know who i am because you made up your mind so no matter what i do it's not gonna affect you so are you loving me are you living your fantasy love should be earned when i'm lovable love me when i'm hateful hate me notice me talk to me right respond to me what should be unconditional is don't ever stop being my mother so that's why marriage does not depend on love marriage is a real relationship you can love me or hate me but but you're mine you know the great value of that is imagine it's a scary thought imagine a husband comes home and says to his wife and i really love my secretary i really love it is that a threat to the marriage yes it shouldn't be when you get married you're not allowed to love anybody else that's ridiculous you love one person your whole life it's not a threat to the marriage i love her i love him i love them but i'm married to you you are my family you are my life so i can't love anybody it doesn't usually work like that when the secretary's involvement i know because there is a definite threat because we believe that you always follow the love so if a husband comes home and says i love somebody you're threatened but it shouldn't be that way that they're not happy with you anymore no no it doesn't you see the marriage has to be much stronger than a feeling because feelings change marriage doesn't change but if the whole marriage depends on my mood then it's dangerous to let me out of the house so everybody lives on on the edge all the time it's very stressful so every time a husband walks out the door the wife is sitting there worried maybe he'll find somebody prettier and there are prettier people and that's it then i'm out of course not you see same thing is true with god we don't we don't serve god because he's love and we don't serve him because he's powerful and almighty and can you know can can punish you we serve him because he's our creator is he wonderful sometimes sometimes we're angry at him is that okay the people who survived the holocaust came out of the concentration camps do they have a right to be angry at him and if they're angry at him they're not jewish anymore sure they are in fact they're good jews so it's okay to be angry at god he's your god love him hate him scream at him but he's your god same should be true with a marriage certainly with children so the conclusion of it all is this is not a religion we're not trying to get to heaven we don't want to go to heaven nothing wrong with staying right here so heaven is not a goal a better world that's a good goal yes no so what are you gonna do to make the world better i think a very powerful message to share with everyone you talk to stop being religious just just do the right thing and what's the right thing whatever it is god wants he says don't kill them don't kill he says don't steal and don't steal he says observe the sabbath honor your parents so do it you don't have to be an expert just do it as well as you can so if you observe this this coming sample you don't work you don't turn on lights or anything but then the next or the cell phones right and then the next shot is you're not going to keep it should you bother keeping it once in a while is that not worthwhile if you're trying to prove how religious you are you're wasting your time because keeping shabbos once in a year isn't going to prove anything [Music] but if you want to do something for god do it once that means that means a lot not going to do it again so if you can put on filling today you're not going to do it again tomorrow okay do it today this is not about you this is about him and as soon as it stops being about me i'm a happier person you take the load off me i'm not so self-conscious it's a relief it also makes us all the same whether you put on the tone or i put on the twillion makes absolutely no difference it's exactly the same to him [Music] so does does the world become better when you put on fuel does the world become better when a girl lights a sharpest camera yes it's becoming more like his kind of world his kind of world probably a good world [Music] so what are you hoping to accomplish with this tour before we go there yeah so so the point is then that any mitzvah you do has that potential to be bringing god more into the world and into your life but i've asked that question before how do we make the world a better place the answer is by doing a mitzvah better to do it regularly but better to do it occasionally than not at all what about the fact you do what it doesn't do anything for you i mean how would you based on what you said it doesn't really matter like how would you know how would you go into school or services and you just say you know what they really didn't do anything for me or something like that yeah i've got you joan okay yeah you've had that feeling right yeah so what how it based on what you've heard now what might be a different way to look at that per se another saying that you accept it right now but you know what might be a different way to phrase it or crave it you could look at going to services as a way as you said to break up so you're not doing yourself a service but you're doing everyone's service so if you think about pittsburgh the contrast people what they were doing and the shooter what he was doing that's so clear they were doing something for god he was doing something for himself he was venting his own whatever so imagine a very hungry man knocks on your door and says i'm starving can you please give me something and you say no i don't need this this doesn't do anything for me what would the guy say i didn't ask if it does anything for you i'm the one who's starving when when god asks us to do a mitzvah he's not saying you're hungry he's saying i'm hungry so if you have a minute can you do something for me you say yeah it's not my fault of course it's not your thing it's not a religion so what is it if it's not a religion it's what it's his name so so you would not say judaism is religion judaism is how would you finish that sentence the purpose of creation judaism is the purpose of creating his purpose god's purpose of creation and and do are we empowered to make those decisions as to which which in its vote to practice or not practice which would spell to reject and not and so on i don't know that we reject any mitzvah if something works for him it works for him how do i how would i reject what he needs because i can't tell him what he needs he's told us through the torah and the talmud and so on so i can say you know this mitzvah i can relate to so i'll do it the other mitzvah i can't relate to so i'm gonna but but i can't reject it i can't tell the hungry man no you're not hungry you ate last week other questions for the brother they agree with everything he said what do you disagree with what do you agree with you guys are very bright one of the brightest classes i've had so feel free this is your chance i was i was going along with it until you said the thing about love it's a tough one it's good i don't i feel like love is something that's like unconditional or not not always but if you marry someone because you love them you're agreeing to love them you have like a mutual feeling and that doesn't just like like you might temporarily be upset with them but doesn't mean that you stopped loving them is it um like most people just like would marry someone because they love them and like i don't really understand how that relates to like not loving them like when you get married so let me ask you something a couple come to me as a rabbi and they say we are in love will you marry us will you do the wedding i said wait a minute you already love each other why do you have to get married it's not a justification for the marriage it's not right so really the question is if you don't love each other why are you getting married if you do love each other why do you need to get married because it's like a sign like a bond and it makes it like it's like a it's comforting to know that you like have that it's like okay it's like a pack so what does that do what does a pack do like make sure that they're gonna stay with you but you wouldn't why wouldn't you legal benefits if you're not allowed legal benefits equal benefits legal legal texts if what if you're not blood you wouldn't stay together that's why people get divorced so if you're not in love you won't stay together so what does the marriage do you're not healthy before you're married you are together because you love each other why would you yeah if you don't love each other you're not going to stay together if you don't love each other so what does the marriage do yeah so formalizing it means we're going to stay together even when i don't love you but you always love each other you might just have like you know like they have patches then you don't need to get married some people don't i know that's exactly why you get married huh if you don't love each other why why would the pretty marriage if you don't love each other okay so the first thing is you get married only if you believe in marriage not because you love someone that makes sense yeah but because if you don't believe in marriage don't do it but it is just like like if you love each other and then you get married it's that's like uh i don't know it's like how to say it but it's like creates and i have no clue how to say like it's more than just like love it's yeah like love with marriage is like love that you know that you're gonna have if you don't like a girl then like they could just leave you in a day and like why you love each other enough that you can share your life with each other and not like i don't want to okay so here's what i'm saying live together sharing your life is much bigger than loving each other so so maybe because life includes hate maybe some of the insights of the wedding ceremony itself can help us when the groom is ready they're not married until during the wedding ceremony that when they sign when he gives the ring and he says that behold you are now kadosh holy or consecrated to me quran of moses and israel does that help at all i don't know what do you guys think what is the english of that again you are the kudesha for the word kadosha you become holy we're entering into holy which means a unique relationship different than the relationship we have with anybody else yeah and that's part of what marriage is i think but that's i would say i don't know if you would agree or disagree so is that something beyond love more than love i think it's different than love but i don't know if one is more important okay when you get married you become husband and wife are you now related no you're like kind of kind of like so the truth is that when you get married you are related to each other more than you're related to your yeah mother you're yeah you're choosing so if you hate if you hate your mother she's not your mother anymore no but you don't hate your brother forever in the moment you might but that doesn't mean that you stopped loving her you also don't love foreign find a way around it it's always like if you if you love someone why not get married because if if someone loves you why do you need to get married yeah if you're getting married for love and you already have the love what are you getting married yeah for some reason you're loving it i just like see him finalizing it so family you're becoming family you can hate your family and they're still your family you can but you're not going to hate them it's not a long-term thing hopefully not with them hopefully and then you can so why are people getting divorced at a drop of a hat because they don't love them anymore they love someone else or they just so all there is was love so so why did you bother getting married before she's finalizing like yeah so if you fall out of love you're not family anymore no you love your family the way that you love your signature together hopefully but they're still your significant other whether you love them or hate them so divorce is just optional if i marry you if i marry you you are my wife not my feeling it's more than a feeling but if you don't have the feeling there's like a huge horse yes it's painful so you just can't get divorced even if you don't like no if you want to break the marriage you have to get divorced in other words you got to break it but there's something there to break yeah not just a feeling yeah because you built your lives together that's right so what is marriage for to merge your life it's to merge your life not your feelings because your feelings are already merged if you love each other so what did golda say to tevye when he asked do you love me i still think that that's that depends on the time a lot because they still didn't arrange marriages and things that had nothing to do we had no choice so understand try to understand their thinking what did she say do i love you 25 years he cooked for you okay it depends what your definition of love is okay good here's the definition of real love real love is not what i feel real love is i'm yours i'm yours for 25 that's what gold is saying for 25 years i gave myself to you not just my love i mean is there more to me than love there's an insight in the word love itself right the word love in hebrew is abba and it comes from the word i have which means i will give so what i said before through giving to each other doing for each other one of the other words for love is which means obligation obligations we feel for each other let me ask one last question i'm not sure how much more time we have two minutes two more minutes we spoke a little bit last night about um in the fiddle on the roof the third child mary's out of the faith any thoughts about that comments about that where is that what's that very sad hopefully i mean at the very least judaism is a way of living that we want to preserve and we want to follow because it's been wonderful and it's great and you want your children to follow so to marry out means pretty much you've given up on that on that plan which is very sad i must ask this woman if the last spotted owl died would you be upset she said yes i said why so because they've been around for so long and for them to become extinct would be very sad i said what if all jews intermarried and just stopped being jewish will it bother you she said no i said why not she says nothing's forever if sounds like in both of the segments i'm sorry it's part of it it's it's all about uh purpose right yes purpose to serve god bring god to earth purpose to build family and give yourself purpose through your relationship right um if you were if you did not identify as jewish does that mean you can't do those things and still bring god and and still you know do you guess what i'm saying is if uh you know and then the other part i have about the chosen right uh chosen you can have a positive connotation or potentially a negative connotation if you're not chosen right you mean if you're lying no no if you if you were if you weren't born jewish right so when jews would say that we are the chosen people that is implied if you're not listening right that you are not chosen which is hard to deal with right um but if you still practice and have the similar purposes right where where do you stand on on on that as far as your contribution to bringing god to earth and doing your your uh every human being has to help bring god to the to the world we were chosen to lead the way or set the tone or carry the message or for people to be jealous about that is a little unwarranted everybody's got their place if you know that there's a certain group of people god put in in into a position of responsibility why are you jealous why don't you go over there and say can i help you out what's with the jealousy i don't know why jealousy is so justified so if we tell them that we are chosen they're going to be jealous why would they be jealous they want to feel special because we are there i have a brother who is very talented he's a great singer i'm not jealous i'm proud i like to tell everybody that he's my brother i'm not trying to be him so if you know somebody who's chosen and he's your neighbor why aren't you proud why don't you come over and say you got a big job can i help you out that's when we're going to have peace on earth so every human being has to make the world better we do it in a jewish way which involves 613 mitzvahs every human being has to do at least seven to be a righteous person so we're all working together it doesn't mean we have to do the same thing so so if you're working together with your spouse right you're saying that the the emotion of love is not necessary it's not what makes the marriage for sure so if love is an emotion and he's happiest emotion and you're not so you don't need happiness to have a marriage i get that but then why would you ever need to get divorced if emotions if if emotions don't matter in a marriage why do you ever get divorced why do people get divorced um because he's hitting you because he's hitting and refusing but that's right no but the other side people get divorced then because get divorced that was his point in other words because they think it's all about love and then if you supposedly no longer have that feeling and that goes away then you say well what's the point of staying married what the rabbi is saying is but if the relationship is based on more than just love so to speak but on substantive kinds of things then even if there's not that strong feeling then the relationship itself is worth preserving if i your brother and your dog are drowning i would say the dog yeah same thing your brother save the brother but you hate the brothers yeah the dog can see you don't eat them which one should you say first should you save your brother first because you love him no no you gotta save him first even if you hate him no yes not necessarily okay he would not say hey you don't have a brother that means you have parents you need to save him folks how bad do you think your parents should be if you let your brother you saved your brother because you shared more dna with your brother than you do with a dog hopefully and thus you would be passionate don't break signs you would be passing down the brothers of a person so i think maybe he asked the question which one is bringing more goggliness to earth your brother or the dog i'm just trying to figure out where does love fit what is the role look how arrogant this is a man says to a woman you are the most important person in the world because i love you if i stop loving you you're not important anymore you're important to that is so arrogant you're important to that person but that doesn't mean you're the most important person in the world for them exactly not just for the entire world okay so your husband is not important to you unless you love him but you wouldn't be popular wife unless you love him that's not true okay i don't know husbands and wives often get into very bad relationships yes they started off with love and thought that that was all they needed and it's not true that's why they need a marriage called the covenants are tied together uh we are married to god we're not having an affair so whether we love him or hate him he's our god he created the world he needs something from us and as soon as you get a chance to do something for him you do it that's jewish is that going to get you to heaven i don't know will that make you a saint probably not but yet it's the most valuable thing you can do so i would say to god i don't care if you love me i'd rather that you need me no if you think about the psychology of it human beings need to be needed much more than they need to be loved because a pet you don't need you just love a human being is not a pet i don't want to be loved i want to be necessary now when i am necessary you'll probably love me and if you don't i'll still be necessary so that's when when a man starts to feel like he's not necessary in the marriage that hurts more than if his wife doesn't love him because the love can come back like you say right the hate is always temporary but if you don't need me then then where do i fit where do i belong so to ask god to love me i don't really care if he loves me i just want to make sure that i fit somewhere and i'm part of the part of the plan part of the then if i really deserve love i'll probably get some love and if i don't deserve it i don't want it don't love me for nothing that doesn't feel good i'm bad but you're so good that you love me anyway uh don't be so righteous so we we would much rather earn the love than have it be unconditional so if you look in the torah where does god say i love you like once the prophets the other times god says i need you for this i need you for this i need you for this and if we do it he'll love us if not he still needs us so what are you hoping to find now when you walk around these streets god actually what you're gonna find is an entire community that believes that it exists to serve others and that's why the unique thing about this tour is that you don't just walk past a building and identify it like this is a nipple no you're gonna go in there because it's open to you it's welcoming you're going to go into what is a matzah bakery is that working again you're going to go into the scribe's office and watch him do his stuff every door is open because we're not here to be religious we're here to be useful so make yourself at home thank you you

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

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Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish

Id: EpADO87x6Cc

Length: 55min 24sec (3324 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 13 2018