Quit Doing These Things At Church! | Steve Harvey

I've been going church all my life I know something about it now and it's just some things I wish they'd stop doing up at the church that's all and you probably do too but y'all like y'all scared to say it because you you remember that all let's see what I ain't remember there so I pretty much safe when I don't like going down at the church I got a couple of things I wanted to talk with y'all about since it's just us that's concerning me about the church some stuff I wish they'd stop doing and here they go for those of you that's got them bad kids I'm talking about the ones that you can't do nothing with at your house stop bringing them kids to church dropping them off at the baby bible school and then turn around walk out like you don't know what's in the help you know written well them little rowdy evil lord help our kids it's fitting it back Bible School Oh soon as you walk out it ain't need my Bible school no mo it's a juvenile detention center here's some Mouse at the church I wish you always stop doing just because it's the testimonial portion of service don't necessarily mean you gots to talk try to wait on something meaningful or miraculous to happen in your life for you jump up to testify images up here to go to church and people just testify about the scope of this little mess you know God be God do miracles why do you want to hit us a little bitty thing that happened to you today you know I was at Payless Shoes the other day and I bought a pair of shoes and I got them shoes home and you know Lord I guess I just say won't give shoes no more so I took your shoes back down to the Payless Lord Jesus I had my receipt and you're kicking me out that ain't a testimony that's a stove policy here's another thing I wish they'd stop doing at the church if you got a weak bladder stop sitting in the middle of the road you know you got to go all the time sit in the overfilled room sit over that bottle bathroom don't stop sitting in the middle of the road now you got to get up eight nine times you know you wide cutting through that knocking uh body head off you wiping women's lipstick off [Applause] just talking about some things I wish y'all would quit doing this one is further past us I just want to do something further pastors if you go to the hospital members I'm talking to members now if you go to the hospital and you got over 10,000 members at your church stop expecting the pastor to come visit you he ain't got time for that rush you're in there all the time anyway everybody wanna keep come see about you you sick all the time cuz you got a weight problem it ain't got nothing to do with nothing else now you want the pass to come see you cuz you got an answer so yo - lets go get eat too much okay alright I'll keep it movin I see what's happening right now let's just get on over there by the quad in I got some fun acquired here's for the choir members stop taking off all your clothes and then slip in your roll bone now you get out and you'd and forgot now you get happy and your overall up over your head hard for me to explain to my eight-year-old son why your drawers is wedged still in the crack of your book I ain't got to explain that to my boy sitting at the church daddy daddy how come she got holes in her legs listen to me it's hard to explain cellulite - ain't you I'm just telling you you're wrong here's another one I wish y'all would stop doing if you go to church just once a month there are those of us who go just once a month try to go on communion you know figure that'll get us in you here's what I hate when the tray come around and it's communion stop licking your fingers touch all the crackers you moving them out the way shuffling trying to find the big one just ain't no meal this is a holy ritual [Applause] you gonna go to hell are you bleeding you gonna go to hell [Applause]

Channel: The Official Steve Harvey

Views: 2,873,544

Rating: 4.8767562 out of 5

Keywords: steve harvey, family feud, inspirational speeches, motivational video, kings of comedy, Steve Harvey Standup, standup comedy, act like a woman, jump book, self help video, self help guru, inspirational quotes, life hacks, career advice, make money, be successful, funny answers, church, quit, stop, don't do this

Id: VARDhiWeIZw

Length: 6min 47sec (407 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 15 2018