What's the Best Way You Have Seen Beggers Ask for Money? | Funny Stories #19

last night a homeless man came up to me and asked would you like to donate to the united negro pizza fund i laughed so hard i gave the guy a couple bucks what's the best way you have seen beggars ask for money a homeless guy came up to me and my friends and bet one us dollar that he could guess our birthdays and be correct within four days after we accepted the challenge he guessed wednesday we paid the man i've had the same thing happen he also said i bet i can tell where you got your shoes on your feet there is a guy who sits next to a one owned concert venue in cincinnati he has a sign that reads give me some money or i'll kick you in the face the man has no legs when i saw the sign i made a weird face and then looked at him and made eye contact he immediately burst out laughing then he takes out one of his preserved legs and throws it at you the foot hitting your face there was a panhandler that i regularly saw at the 34th street sixth ave subway line he was dressed neatly and would ask people as they entered the station if they needed directions anywhere this was in the mid 90s so pre google maps and gps this man knew everything about how to get anywhere in manhattan and the boroughs down to individual store signs to use as landmarks and would often suggest local shops to tourist groups he was a freaking genius you need to go to san francisco in the embarcadero there is the bushman he is this black guy who sits on a milk crate with two branches with leaves on it he holds them to his face and when people walk by he opens them up and says blah he scares the crap out of people what is funny is that you can see him from a mile away but he gets people all the time he must make a fortune i know i have given him at least 20 dollars over the years bushman rules i once heard him confront a chick after taking a picture of him hey you wouldn't let me take a picture of your bush for free there was a homeless guy that would patrol the downtown club district giving out tickets for having too much game or looking too good i've always wanted to do something like this with stickers that say you're a lovely lady or something but it's super creepy so i wonder if i was homeless if i'd not give a frick enough to do it too outside of in little description la a nice homeless man approached us and told us that he will sing any song for us of course we'd have to tip him i tried not to let my boyfriend let the man do it but failed the man sang ain't no mountain high enough with the most beautiful soulful voice i wanted to tip him ten dollars but we only had a couple of bucks his name is something like octo something he also said he's on youtube he had a sign that said hungry hungry hobos and i laughed so i gave him a few bucks real world upvote guy tried to offer me pimping lessons for some spare change i wasn't going to take advice from a broke pimp but i listened and gave him change anyway i didn't really understand half the crap he was saying but damned if it wasn't entertaining slap that hoe to keep her in line i had a homeless dude ask me for money i told him all i have is a 20 s he pulls out a stack of bills larger than mine and say that's okay i have change i know for a while there was basically an epidemic of homeless on the west coast they would drift westward where the conditions improved and then upon getting they would hear of the great hawaii and how good they are to their bums this would mean homeless persons saving up money specifically for a ticket to get to hawaii to once again be homeless in columbus ohio there's a wandering homeless guy named henry henry doesn't have a sign and he doesn't just walk up and ask for money henry is a poet and refers to himself as a traveling bard he offers his services at the cost of a voluntary donation the guy is an absolutely brilliant poet name a topic and he'll lay down some absolutely incredible poetry to it i've been trying to get him to come to some local readings but he claims they are too structured for his tastes beth that dude has some good stories there's a guy downtown i pass on a regular basis his sign says help fight hobophobia i can't help but grin every time i see it he's also got something going on with the pigeons almost every time i pass by he's reading a book or something and the pigeons are surrounding him there's usually a few perched on him ottawa a homeless gent said he'd give me a hot tip for one dollar so i being naturally curious paid his consulting fee and asked for his insider info he advised me not to go down the alley i was headed towards because some bad assm were hustling people that walked through for one dollar that was a dang good tip hustling them for a buck one day while i was headed to lunch i at 20 something male with other 20 somethings passed to beggar holding a cardboard sign that read while i i need beer on the way back i walked past him just as an elderly couple was walking by in the other direction the beggar was now holding a sign that read i'm a homeless vietnam veteran please donate some spare change so that i can feed my family his cardboard sign had two sides and he flipped it over depending on the demographic of person walking by marketing 101 know your demographic hobros doing it right i was once driving with some friends and there were two homeless guys at the stoplight one of them had a sign that said kill me he handed his side to his friend and went and laid down in front of my car as his friend laughed his butt off and started encouraging us to do it we had just come from subway so we gave him our leftovers and some money not sure if actually suicidal just brilliant i saw a guy in san diego with a sign that said atheist will convert for money there were four or five people standing around him all arguing with each other i'd make a sign with a running tally for every religion nyc right he's been fundraising for the united negro pizza fund for at least a decade now if we're thinking of the same guy great line i've given him a fiver i was in new orleans guy came up and said i'll bet you a dollar i can guess where you got them shoes eventually i agreed and my agreement was instantly followed with you got them shoes on your feet show emmy the money fair enough gave him the dollar street punk girl circa 2001 outside mary's club in downtown portland or spare a dollar to bail my dead grandmother out of purgatory okay i'll be that guy i don't get this one i walked past a homeless man who said wow lady if i had a hat i'd tip it i bought that man a freaking hat and a big butt sandwich flattery will get you so far with me that's a classy compliment gentlemen take note when in new york this guy approached me and made a deal that if he could make me laugh then i would help him out with some money i agreed he says the new justin bieber album came out today so did all the guys that bought it i found that hysterical and gave him a 20. there was a guy in boston who did awesome zippo lighter tricks there was another guy who told great jokes i generally gave those guys some money because they entertained me i also usually tip street musicians good for you for tipping street musicians my boyfriend busks for a living and when he brings home a good chunk of change i'm so thankful he can buy the milk for once i ran into a homeless man who looked just like samuel l jackson he was completely aware he looked like him and quoted his lines for money about a month later ran into a well-dressed man who was supposedly homeless we shot the crap for about an hour eventually my curiosity got the better of me and i asked him why he dressed so well he told me he used a portion of the money he would get to take his clothes to the cleaners because people respect a well-dressed man before we parted ways he dropped a vip card to the hustler club in nyc i picked it up for him and he told me to keep it because he hasn't been able to go there ever since his daughter started stripping there well that was kinda depressing colon there is some beggar that sits at a specific intersection and everyone knows him if you talk to him he'll just have a fun conversation with you till the light turns green crazy part is that when my baseball team held a car wash to get new uniforms we stood at that intersection holding signs and the beggar donated money i love that guy i know what you mean one time some friends and i sat downtown in a spot that was normally occupied by the homeless this homeless lady came up to us and offered us some of the food she had just purchased from the store across the street i was amazed at how someone so in need could be so generous herself tl dr homeless people are generous back in 08 there was a homeless guy who had a sign saying i'm just like obama i want change i laughed and gave him five bucks saw a guy who bellowed leeroy jenkins on demand gave him a good amount of money but was mildly worried if he was just gonna use that to renew his wow subscription and end up back there wow addictions are sadly a real thing can you help me put a down payment on a cheeseburger but that guy is a jerk he chased me down one day to give me heck about my baseball cap apparently the cubs lost their game the night before i was walking out of the train and a guy who was there every day dropped a funny one on us today i also take credit don't hesitate couldn't stop laughing i went to a small club to see a friend's band and outside there was a homeless man with a bike it was a small bmx bike that had a rigid metal ring around him bike lengthwise so he was inside of it i think he actually had a harness he'd tell people if he got enough money he'd show them what it was for after he got about 50 bucks he rode out into the street between stopped lanes of cars pedaled as fast as he could and then braked hard with his front wheel man could do some assaults on his bike worth the 10 i contributed i had one guy ask for money for a vasectomy there's a guy in downtown vancouver bc who has a sign that says smile if you masturbate another guy has a sign that says something like zombie apocalypse coming need money for supplies one girl had a sign that said hugs one dollar i didn't have a dollar but she gave me a free hug she was in the same spot a few weeks later so i gave her a few dollars the dollar plus interest a guy in downtown montreal once refused to take the 20 i was trying to give him because no sweetie you're too drunk i once gave a guy a bunch of popcorn in his cup i was very drunk apparently i also kissed his cheek but i don't remember that part i had a homeless girl buy me coffee and play cards with me for a few hours i once sat next to a guy for about an hour his sign said meow meow meow meow so i yelled at everyone who passed that they should give this guy money because he speaks fluent cat at one of the our mantra all meet-ups we took a group picture with the homeless guy who'd been on the front page of redit recently tl dr drunk giraffe really likes homeless people you sound like a fun person to be around i was at a red wings game once and an older black homeless man was waiting on the corner singing i need a beer give me a detroit be a big aussie i'm black i'm black i'm black always good times walking through detroit detroit homeless are the best homeless i was having a smoke outside a bar one night when a homeless guy came up to me and gave me a long-winded speech about the severe social disorder he suffered from he explained how it was extremely debilitating and prevented him from thriving in our modern society he then told me his social disorder was called poverty and said if i gave him a dollar i'd be contributing toward the ending of this crippling disorder i gave him a few bucks and a cigarette and he sang me californication by the red hot chili peppers in my town panhandlers hang out at the exits of the highways a week ago i was exiting the highway and there was a lady with a prosthetic leg and a sign that said on last leg please help i'll never forget how clever that was one man has a sign that says i'm pregnant another says need money for beer and weed i have small penis disease they make more money on a weekend than i do in a week coming out of penn station this really charming beggar came up to my fiance and i and asked for change he kept telling me i was pretty and asking when you gonna marry her why aren't you already married to her i gave him a few dollars for being suave as frick hours and hours later after walking around nyc all day long we made our way back to penn station and the same guy waved and smiled at us being clever works but so does flattery on the opposite end of things a good way to not get any money from me is to get on the tube in london and proclaim that you're not robbing anyone not here to make any threats because it makes me feel like you're going to shoot up the place and it makes everyone on the train uncomfortable i'd really like dresser panhandler as mario give him a sign that reads princess captured need coins for rescue attempt and then compare his daily take with his previous average for science of course i saw the homeless guy arguing with some other homeless guys who were drunk they were hassling him for standing too close to them in front of the liquor store the non-drunk homeless guy ted from michigan i hope your family finds you bro had a sign that read i don't drink i just want some weed and a sandwich tossed him a 10 spot gave him a hug living in l.a seen a couple of good ones i think my favorite is this one guy who stands on the side of the freeway entrance with a sign that has three layers first layer of cardboard has a giant smiley face and says have a good day then he flips it up periodically revealing the second layer which says anything will help on occasion he'll see an attractive woman and an and only then does he flash the third layer hey there pretty lady followed with a pretty creepy wink he did it to my couple one time and i cracked up the only one that has ever worked on me was spare any change casually carry on walking that's okay have a nice day i stopped and went back and gave him some with which he said god bless you it's called manners the way i see it if they're asking for money in a novel or entertaining way they're not really beggars they're street performers they are providing a free service entertainment in exchange for the possibility of receiving tips there is fundamentally no difference between a guy who asks you to donate to the united negro pizza fund and a guy playing the violin with his case left open never mind the obvious difference in skill on the other hand these two examples are distinct from a person who does nothing or even hassles you for cash providing a service in exchange for money is successfully attempting to participate in society in a way that simply begging is not tl dr beggars who make you laugh aren't beggars they are performers i tip street performers future me thanks you for putting five dollars in my guitar case not mine a friend's story of a homeless busker this guy had a small cheap keyboard and was playing it just rocking out on this cheap piece of crap but here's the thing this guy had nothing below the kneecaps and nothing below the elbows he was just wailing on the keyboard and it sounded pretty good guy got a 20. saw a homeless guy with a sign that read need money for pee and beer it's not like i'm doing anything else with my day you have to give up change for that kind of honesty my father and i were on our way to my playoff hockey game some years ago and were stuck in traffic at a really long red light two homeless men were walking past the cars holding signs and obviously asking for money one of the hobos knocked on my father's window and asked for money on a side note my dad is one sarcastic but whole he is fair and just but on a shot nonetheless well my dad told him he would give each of them ten dollars if they worked for it the homeless men gave him the intrigued but skeptical stink eye my father told them that if they each did 25 jumping jacks and 20 push-ups before the light turned green they would get the money so in front of about 50 cars full of people and pedestrians walking around and staring these two homeless men start flailing about and then drop to their hands and fire off push-ups like they're auditioning to be the backup workout guys in a mother freaking table dvd simultaneously everyone watching this hobo olympics starts to clap and cheer even though they didn't finish before the green light my dad gave each of them 20 and thanked them for being good sports completely out of breath they smiled from ear to ear and thanked him as we drove off with cars honking and people giving my dad thumbs up he leaned over and told me that no matter the stature of a man's life he must always work to get what he wants but no person deserves to just get what they want without trying and reaching for it i come from a rich family and always had more than i needed or wanted my first job was really just something to do in the summer by the end of the summer i had quite a bit of money i convinced my sister that we should give it away but she didn't want to just donate it we came up with a plan we sat down next to a homeless person who looked more or less sane sober and asked them to tell us a story and if it was good we would give them twenty dollars we gave it to everyone who made a good attempt even if the story bored us if anyone likes i will type up what i remember of some of them definitely like to hear some hobra stories homeless man with a guitar asked for a donation to play me a song asked him if he could play the beatles he played black bad flawlessly gave him a 20 well worth it there was a guy in san francisco who would leave a sign that said bushman buy some bushes and scare people who walked by or checked it out those people would subsequently stay to watch other people get scared you get more money and a crowd of people trying to act natural bum your wanna hear a joke me and brother yeshua bum how do you know when you've been to a gay barbecue me and brother bum all the hot dogs taste like [ __ ] five bucks each right there i don't get it if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 12,492

Keywords: funniest ways, best ways, begging you, funny homeless guy, funny homeless, funny homeless people, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: 0UnPb40VVnU

Length: 19min 58sec (1198 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 29 2021