People Judge You On These Possessions

like the video and subscribe right now or you'll make this papa sad what is a possession when owned pretty much guarantees a certain personality or intelligence an octopus one means you're smart because you have a smart pet two means you are a bond supervillain and hence personality three you have access to a kicker's garden beneath the waves if you own an octopus and she doesn't escape from her tank you are very clever indeed eyelashes on your head light slash balls hanging off your trailer hitch wants attention from any and all sources and the ways they used to attain that attention are tacky and childish oh my god just on monday a coworker came in all excited and yelling to everyone that they had to see her new eyelashes we all looked at her and couldn't see anything she then screeches that it's herself's eyelashes we all had headaches from the screeches and our subsequent eye rolls trashy indeed if you own a decal of calvin urinating on a ford slash chevy slash other logo you probably don't have very refined sensibilities it pains me that kelvin is used in such a manner or have a truck with those stupid balls that hang from the hitch dude come on many leather-bound books and the smell of rich mahogany owning tap out brand clothing ensures that you are prone to asking what a innocent stranger is looking at this is stolen off of twitter a couple of weeks ago but it makes me giggle it was new taglines for products but it works here talbots clothes for women who would like to speak to a manager chico's that store your mom likes i can only imagine the pure hell life that a talbot's manager has owning a slave kinda makes you look a little mean hey people who are into bdsm aren't always mean slight tangent oh god this reminds me i had a really cute submissive girl with me for a while who happened to be zimbabwean things were getting hot in the bedroom but then she referred to me as her master and herself a slave and my brain just kind of shut down from the crippling levels of privilege political correctness and awkwardness in my head so i just stared at her awkwardly oh god i'm cringing a computer with more than two monitors two monitors can mean a lot kind of a nerd generic office person etc if you have three plus monitors you're a new level of jeep compared to the rest of the world and i love you four monitors reporting in two stacked in the middle one on each side absolutely ducking useless edit for my needs at home no regrets any die numbering more sides than six what about less are my d4s safe women love a natural 20. an animal body pillow means you truly don't give a duck anymore actually you probably give many ducks to your animal body pillow nothing nothing is a guarantee maybe that guy drives a bmw because it's a company car or it's a loan from his parents and it's all he has maybe he just likes the way it looks everyone does something for a reason and it's not always the same as yours very true i have this knitted sweater i wear from time to time i don't like sweaters and i don't feel i look good in it i already heard some people at work talked behind my back about the sweater but i wear it because my mother needed it my mother has been desperate for the past five years because my brother went away and cut all contact and she can't live with it and she always seems a bit happy when she sees me wear her sweater so whenever you see a guy with some weird or ugly dressing style don't mock the person his slash her reason might be something you can't grasp owning a healing crystal pretty much guarantees you are not only an idiot but the special kind of idiot who dolls out health advice which relies on the magical colored circles and incense starbucks gold card highest level of basic white girl attainable edit okay i get it you don't have to be white or a girl to still be a basic the next level above gold is actually pumpkin the holy grail some say it doesn't exist some say it lays in a chamber deep under tiffany's house that owning a riding lawn tractor for your one quarter acre lot pretty much means you've reached your middle years have lost all hope for an exceptional life and are slowly descending into a dark time of heavy drinking momo mo the lawn and your hopes and dreams your life is going slowly down the stream a mental certificate it's like the academic equivalent of a tap out shirt a mensa certificate means that people would not otherwise expect you to be a smart person judging by your accomplishments so you've had to seek out some other form of validation which includes hanging out with a bunch of other people who would never be judged as intelligent were it not for the certificate deeming them to be so owning 10 noobs in a row guarantees an improved kdr not if your kdr is already over 10 do you even math bro a collection of flak music those who know no i to enjoy placebo formats i used to have the 500 best songs ever in flack format and stupid malware a fedora and a katana i can smell the britney edit for clarification fedoras are okay more so in the 50s not so much on neckbreads in 2015. cat in a circle more so in the media era not so much strapped to a guy who gets winded on an escalator mlp isn't good show more so when you're a female teen slash child not so much for a grown ass man rubbing his dick on cartoon horse belows i've been to two different cons this month and i'm blown away that chunky dude who thinks his hat and sword make him super rad still persists in the wild as much as it does they are still trucking along rocking the cargo shorts and sandals occasionally a flame shirt that would make guy fee re jealous i was under the impression these guys did nothing but hang out on the internet and everywhere i go online rags on fedoras and ladies have they not noticed or are they just doubling down edit okay some people real touchy on the cargo shorts it's not just the pants guys edit edit man is this generating some comments guys it's not the neck but on your head it's the neck but in your heart people don't like these things because they've been indicative of shitty attitudes nobody has beef with you being a nerd nobody cares if sandals and cargo shorts are truly your jam it's just that so often this stuff goes hand in hand with an i'm so smart attitude and inability to take a no hint from women also nobody cares if it's a fedora or trilby unless you're wearing it with an outfit that makes sense to a place it makes sense to wear it you look like a duck town if you have your family in the form of stick figure decals on your car that means i hate you what i'm starting to hate more are the i'm so clever i have something killing stick people with a funny slogan on it people the stick figure families could easily be parents whose kids wanted it or they could just be kind and nerdy middle-aged folks who knows but the clever subversion of the stick family people are just people who think they're funny and better than everyone that's the kind of person i hate a violin cello or other classical stringed instrument makes you look rather intelligent extra points if you are proficient guitar doesn't count and i play guitar a harp doubles this any instrument given that you're proficient or in the process of becoming proficient i don't trust people that have instruments but never play them my phil recently learned not to yell about the parking job of man who owns an american flag bandana they are not reasonable people but bandit keith i thought phil meant friend-in-law until i realized that didn't make sense if you own a unicycle you're either a performer or a dirty dirty hipster or both edit you know guys this was really just meant to be a joke where i live there are a lot of hipsters and a lot of them are trying painfully hard to be quirky and unique those are the only people you see in my area riding unicycles i'm not at all trying to actually bash people who enjoy owning and riding a unicycle i'm well aware that those are not literally the only two reasons to own a unicycle hey man i own a unicycle i'm a mechanical engineering student and i like feeling the physics at work if you own nothing at all usually means that you're poor or gandhi anything that says live laugh love ugh my sister-in-law has filled her and my brother's house with that has these stupid quotes everywhere is decor something like the one you mention and one that's like there's no problem a margarita can't solve or i'm not bossy i just have better ideas it just seems so tacky and fake it seems like they are an attempt to project a desired image of one's life to visitors instead of having ducking stupid tacky life quotes as decor why not just i don't know live a fun and fulfilling life one of those power balance bracelets my old command sergeant major wore on of those the guy was sharp as hell and built like a brickshit house he would run his two mile in 12 minutes flat at 45 years old he was highly decorated a jumpmaster and had been on multiple combat deployments with the 82nd airborne he could also talk to you for five minutes and remember absolutely everything you told him about yourself weeks later when i saw that stupid rubber magnet on his wrist my brain did some strange acrobatics and i realized that even the smartest people can be fooled by the dumbest things the kate gosselin aka the let me speak to your manager haircut add those big dark sunglasses and you got a winner i don't know that it speaks to intelligence but it's a good indication the wearer is a could be a smart could be a dumb owning a rubik's cube guarantees that you at one time thought you were probably intelligent and patient enough to solve it owning a solved rubik's cube on the other hand guarantees that you took all the stickers often cheated it's totally obvious if the stickers have been taken off you have to pop all the pieces out and reassemble it in the correct configuration a bookshelf it doesn't necessarily mean you're intelligent but it means you don't mind a little work at least in the way of being entertained you can learn alert about a person from what books are on their shelves too my book reader is getting close to outstripping my bookshelves what i keep in print are things i can't get another core that have sentimental value are signed by friends etc i've moved across the country a few times and every time my husband wants to give the books to goodwill i just can't do it i don't even re-read the duckers most of the time i don't want to not have books a library card i met a man once who looked like he dropped out of eighth grade but was very successful in construction and real estate along with other things we talked about hiring employees he stated that he always asks applicants if they own a library card it seems like an innocent question but he would never hire anyone who didn't have one his theory was that if you are not smart enough to avail yourself of all that a local library has you probably aren't smart enough to be successful this is an antiquated view in light of the internet edit i get it there are some die hard library fans out there libraries are great i didn't say libraries suck just that there is so much to learn on the internet that refusing to hire people who don't go to the library isn't equated there are many sources of knowledge nowadays libra is used to be one of the only the guy's main idea is about self-improvement everyone i know that dips chewing tobacco has been a total ducking if you own that stuff i hate you i hate looking at you i hate your carcinogen alkaline soul death breath and i hate the god damn bottles you spit in constantly edit stay mad fatties your own pool cue you brought to the bar to play on the quarter operated tables they're always the first ones to get mad with the noise and people walking by it's a ducking bar i bartended for a long time those dudes are the worst they are also more likely to send a drink back and accuse us of putting cheap liquor in it and charging them for top shelf we would take it back behind the bar swirl it around never even taking it out of the glass and take it back to them and they'd say much better kind of curious what you guys think of people who use and daily carry fountain pens love zinc stains and calligraphy i used to own them and like to do my greek homework in them because foreign alphabets look cool and fountain pen then i graduated from college and didn't have time for them anymore toilet do you have any idea how many people in the world don't have a toilet due to poverty and poor living conditions having a toilet probably puts you way ahead of most of the world in terms of wealth and intelligence education i suspect there to be a very strong correlation plus one for toilet paper edit put your pitchforks down correlation causation a toilet and proper plumbing are indicators of one standard of living not having a toilet or plumbing is indicative of poverty which is highly correlated with a host of factors that lead to poor education and low income over a lifetime this is not to say that now owning a toilet makes you poor and uneducated right off the bat it just makes it more likely that you live in poverty and therefore also more likely that you have poorer education when i read free economics about three years ago i remember the question about parents reading parenting books those that read them were considered better parents not because they read them but because they are the type of person that would read them the book explains a little better but also he mentioned that books in a house does not make you intelligent rather intelligent people tend to own more books if you want an interesting read check out the book owning a fountain pen or a mechanical watch you can usually assume that that person has a detail-oriented mind and no slash cares about the history of their items also possible that the person is just rich and or pretentious and heard that having those gadgets was a way to show off how classy you are you've been visited by cute shark you will be blessed with protection from shark attacks but only if you comment i like you too sharky thanks for watching do not forget to subscribe for more daily videos

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 41,874

Rating: 4.9452305 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, tz reddit, toadfilms, owned, possession, personality, inteligence, guarantee, make you look

Id: TuHpzwxIm8Y

Length: 15min 16sec (916 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 19 2020