Norm Macdonald's Turtle Joke | Late Night with Conan O’Brien

here with norm mcdonald and uh you know i find out more and more about you every time you uh come on the program you know i always study up on a file and i learn more about you and yeah i was really surprised to learn i didn't know this i didn't know this but you were a bartender yeah i did a lot of jobs before i got into comedy you know and for a while i was uh slinging the hash no no you idiot that was when i was a fried cook i was i was a virgin i was slinging the drinks yeah sure and uh oh man that was fun i'll tell you what was fun about being a bartender always a story you know something funny happening down at the bar perfect for a talk show then yeah this is a good this is a good example i was uh one time i was working in there drunk guy comes in you know and uh you're not supposed to serve the drunk guys you know that's one of the things you learn so uh okay and also you learn how to make the drinks yeah so the drunk guy comes in you know real drunk you know three sheets to the wind you know so this character sits down you know and i says to him i says he says what do you want i can't serve you you know he goes i don't want a drink he says you know he says i want to shoot a dart at your dartboard you know so i go to the guy so you can't shoot a dart at my dartboard he goes you're i go you're right you're not in this uh you're drunk you know i said i'm not gonna let you that'd be dangerous that's a sharp thing a dart you know so the guy goes no let me shoot one shot at the dartboard so i go all right one shot that's it so the guy shoots the dart bullseye i never seen anything like it you know even in a state bullseye so the guy says to me says what do i win you know uh-huh so i now i don't know what he wins i'm confused you know so i start looking around try to find something before him and i see in a in a right in the bottom of the bar area there's a uh there's a shoe box with a turtle in it from where wha what is that doing there what i was gonna give it i was gonna give it to i was gonna give it as a gift to my nephew okay i wanted a turtle and i said i'll get a return that'll be a good gift okay then later i thought that's a dumb gifted turtle nobody likes a turtle you know the kid will probably just put him on his back until he dies kids are cruel enough so i said why not just give it to this drunk okay okay so i said here's your prize here it is and so the guy takes it in the shoe box you know he goes thanks and he walks out with it so i figured that's the last i'll ever see of that guy sure two weeks later the guy shows up again mm-hmm drunk again so now i go oh my god that's that guy from two weeks ago you know so he walks up to the bar and i go i can't serve you buddy i can't do that he goes i don't know why he says i want to shoot a a dirty your dart board uh-huh i go oh no man i let you do that before he goes but i got a bull's-eye i say yeah yeah but you can't do that again you know i was luck he goes let me try so he takes it shoots it bullseye again oh man so he goes what do i win you know so i'm confused i don't know you know i look around i go i don't know i go what did you win last time he goes oh last time he goes last time i won a uh i won a roast beef on a hard roll [Applause] it was a turtle we knew it was the turtle it was the turtle we know it was the turtle guy must have gone out and ate it it was crazy oh he ate the turtle i see now it was great that's the real end of the joke it wasn't a joke i know it really happened right god forbid that was a joke sorry for calling what really happened to you a joke i apologize all right well listen staring out live this week christine baranski she's funny and the cure yeah sounds like a good show you'll be there i'm excited about wayne newton seeing him i don't know these people but wayne newton wayne newton yeah are you gonna stick around for wayne newton i can't wait to see him mr excitement yeah that's cool he's gonna be great i saw him when i was a kid oh yeah yeah he was so great you know all right he gives it his all that guy no seriously sure he does i didn't mean to laugh i mean he did i'm backstage this guy looks younger than us yeah he does he's a great looking you guys are going to have fun in a few minutes what a great plug you got to stick around you got to take it from norman mcdonald everybody thanks norm wayne newton tracy bonham coming up it's solid show stick around

Channel: Team Coco

Views: 1,126,473

Rating: 4.9583349 out of 5

Keywords: Late Night with Conan O’Brien, late night with conan obrien, late night with, conan classic, best of, late night, original, comedy, sketch, humor, funny, celebrity, interview, first, late late show, late, night, show, special, classic, talk show, talk show hosts, triumph the insult comic dog, andy richter, max weinberg, norm macdonald, RIP, in memoriam

Id: DIsgBAXQxR4

Length: 4min 39sec (279 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 16 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/JerryCan1217]

The “…what?” is absolutely hilarious

[u/Bluth-President]

He even plugged the next guest. Solid.

[u/Blackout38]

I loved Norm and he was totally making that up on the spot. Brilliant man he will be missed.