Norm MacDonald on Conan (1997-02-21)

hey everybody we're back gentlemen now you can see my first guest in the People vs Larry Flynt he also anchors the weekend update each week on Sarno live please welcome our buddy and our pal Norm Macdonald very nice to see you oh it's great to be here man how are you I'm good I'm alright alright yeah you're enjoying life yeah you like doing that you call it the fake news do you like doing I like doing that because I always can keep up with the news you know and oh yeah and also before I start with my jokes I just want to say like I said I said a thing on last show about Andy enjoying gay porn right yeah yeah yeah I remember you saying that yeah and I thought later that was just a stupid thing to do well I guess it was all forgotten until you just brought it up so he doesn't like gay porn you know I like gay boy sorry can't stand gay porno things so if you're getting me a birthday present no gay or cooler you know you know that's great cuz it really cleared the air okay so I want to talk about but the news you know that's going on nowadays yeah the news that the news yeah all kinds of things going on there's the Dick Morris is getting a new show did you hear about that dick Morse the presidential advisor in the scandal yeah didn't you hear that now he's getting a show he's they're like can you believe a guy actually getting a show and the TV that's amazing yeah and it's a morning show it's called good morning I've watched that uh-huh like that in a second and uh-huh the mad chopper have you heard about that Oh everyone's heard about the mad shop he's the mad chopper they let him out and then he of course what's he gonna do is the mad shuttle he starts chopping people up yeah famous should never let a guy out with that nickname oh here's they have that nickname and then they're they're always in the paper they try to make a story like there's two sides to it you know there because they interview different people one guy goes oh you know he's a nice guy he gave me a birthday cake once and one time he helped me you know fix my you know stereo you know then they interview another guy and he goes yeah that guy chopped me up you know so they go there were two sides to the man chopper you know uh-huh uh-huh crazy and then there's a very story about the Incubus you know about this this sets a sneaker or something it's a woman's shoe it's a shoe for women and it's called the Incubus and then it turns out that the Incubus is this guy from way back in the old days he's a medieval demon that like has unconcern collar like unconsented women in their sleep really and he was like I use a mythological character yeah he didn't really exist but still he was a bad bad demon and then they go a name the shoe that you know oh you should name a shoe that uh-huh no that's bad that's crazy uh-huh so that's your take on it that they shouldn't name the shoe I got yeah you're right work fine what about I understand you uh let you take lent pretty seriously the Catholic holiday at Wendy's yeah case well you have to give up stuff on lint so every year on Lent I give up stuff and I made up a list you know oh really stuff that I gave up uh-huh so I have it here in my pocket I read it I would live here with norm gave up for Lent yeah here have it oh here it is cinder stop okay yes this is a list of things that I gave up for Lent okay ready I gave up powerlifting all right out yeah I didn't write a dad and then I gave up a lifting of any kind okay that's good and then I gave up I gave up dressing up like an incubus now that people know what it is you know not gonna do that now and then I gave up this is this is a good this isn't a good one I gave up feeding my cat you got to break that habit yeah that's not a good that's a good time to chew that so that's all and I spent I gave up spending thousands of dollars trying to methodically seduce Andy's wife no more of that huh all right that's very nice good for you Emily well guess any idea than any other wife there's a girl right I don't like it don't like it well baby what we're gonna do is we're gonna take a quick break and then we're all gonna confer with our lawyers and then we're gonna come back and we'll have a more with Norm Macdonald in just a second you all right we're back everybody stop comparing notes on gay porn no we're actually talking about the Sports Illustrated the swimsuit issue oh yeah yeah you guys like that issue there I love it what I said it's his least favorite Sports Illustrated oh shut up yeah well never mind I didn't say so Andy you don't get my quick sentence I drop I you know I know I'm just gonna stay very still and it'll go something bad uh so why don't you got a week off woke up coming up after this show I got a week off so it's gonna be great you were do you see your family much well do you every every break I like to go back and see my my my folks you know and also my uncles and aunts and all that you know uh they're great people the oil people you know what I find about the old people is Jews in general in general they had so much more interesting lives than we do you know like you know I mean like we you know we we go out our generation we go okay hey let's go to a movie and then we'll do the laundry and get some quarters for the laundry and then we'll have a read the Sports Illustrated you know and whatever right right and but these guys they had lives you know we're not sad sure huh Terry Cranston my Uncle Phil you ever meet my Uncle Phil I didn't meet your Uncle Phil no oh you didn't he was yeah we don't know each other that well remember I know I've not met your uncle he's a good man Uncle Phil so here he was telling me you know he's just one of these guys had so many lives pushed into one he's does so many things you know he he was telling me he says he's in kind of a jack-of-all-trades you'd call him yeah that's a good phrase okay the jack of all gray he was telling me he said the problem is you're not really appreciated for any single thing because you're so good at so many things understand what I mean I hear ya so he says he said to me one time he says norm he says we were just walking through his whole his town you know of a monk Lynn may Neela uh-huh and we were just walking through the town he's an old fella you know right one of the old people yeah he's 80 yeah 80 okv years young he says uh-huh so he goes he goes he goes norm you see that barn over there he says to me I look over there's a barn I go yeah yeah he goes I built that barn with my own hands all by myself but he goes do they call me do they say there's Phil the burn builder no sir he says I said yeah he goes look over there you see that weather balloon yeah he says I you don't know this about me an army says I was one of the first men ever to fly in a weather balloon he says but do they say hey there goes Phil the weather balloon pioneer no he says look over there there's a bakery that I started you know that dirty bastard bob has it now but I haven't got it started that bakery uh-huh and I go all right all right easy he goes he goes I've stirred that bakery and I was the best Baker but does anybody go oh there goes Phil the great Baker no he says but he says let me tell you something norm he says you have sex with one goat he says people manners day there goes bill the dirty ghost and get rid of that we don't need that microphone anymore to pee Wow well I do want to meet this man someday he sounds fascinating we got to talk about this Saturday Night Live this Saturday he got your Alec Baldwin yeah he's gonna be great he's the greatest host he said he was a great host when I was there years ago musical guest Tina Turner I wanted to ask you if I could do your thing that you wrote about the perfect murder remember that sketch that you wrote when you were there yeah Robert wasn't just me it was a couple of us we write sketches yeah I think they tried it a dress once and it bomb oh go ahead yeah have fun with that sketch uh ask you that in the commercial no let's let them in and see what our lives are like uh Alex Baldwin Tina Turner and special appearance by Howard Stern yeah that's gonna be cool how about Stern huh that's a big show yeah uh so have fun with that have fun with that program okay then you enjoy and now come on week what are we buddy cops now yeah uh alright but and come by anytime and tell us about your family yeah every time you want them older folk alright nor good nor McDonald everybody Chris your guest he's coming up we'll take a break we'll be right back

Channel: Late Night With Conan O'Brien

Views: 526,386

Keywords: Conan O'Brien, Andy Richter, Max Weinberg, Late Night, 1997, interview, Norm Macdonald (TV Writer)

Id: GuW8vJldqss

Length: 11min 13sec (673 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 13 2014