Nobody Likes Amy Schumer

people don't always see eye to eye with each other everyone has their own set of opinions and beliefs and historically humans have fought each other over this difference now while we may be divided by land or belief there's one thing that unites all of us something buried deep inside the human dna that makes us all on the same page and that's our extreme dislike for amy schumer god bless amy schumer is like the common evil that unites the world it's like in that anime code geass where lelouch becomes the ultimate evil that the entire world rallies against and then by the end of it it brings everyone closer together that's amy schumer but in reality whenever she's present at like an award show or something the entire internet nay the entire human race gets together and says we just don't like her she reminds us that we're not so different from each other after all so why am i talking about amy schumer today well it's because she was at the oscars recently and decided to make the entire thing about her about how she's now traumatized because of the will smith slap on chris rock and i'm sure a lot of you are tired of hearing about this but she just keeps [ __ ] going and it's making me sick to my stomach it makes me want to puke and [ __ ] this is of course a very stupid statement and just performative to put her name back in the news about how now she's a victim somehow i don't think there's any world where amy schumer is right now sleeping with one eye open just fearful that will smith the boogeyman is going to rappel through her window and slap her while she's asleep but i'm going to set aside this stupid statement for a minute to talk about what really got my ass all grinded up which is what she came forward with today she bravely stepped foot in the thunderdome today to reveal the jokes that were too edgy for tv her side-splitting comedy that was just too intense and she had to cut them from her monologue just like voldemort's name she wasn't allowed to speak of these things but she decided to tell one of these super stinkers anyway which is horrible news for anyone with ears don't look up is the name of a movie more like don't look down the barrel of alec baldwin's shotgun it's incredible how she can't even accidentally almost say something entertaining and this probably isn't even her own joke she has a history of stealing jokes she probably just saw this [ __ ] on twitter and it had like 100 likes so she said it's mine now it's still [ __ ] stupid none of it makes sense alec baldwin wasn't even in don't look up the joke doesn't work i don't care that it's edgy edgy jokes are fine it's just this is so poorly done from top to bottom alec baldwin is not in that movie so it doesn't even make sense it'd be like me saying moon fall more like poon fall because amy schumer's talking about her vagina again it's just dog [ __ ] sex in the city more like amy stop having sex with the whole city we're tired of seeing you on stage or he-man more like help me man i just had to listen to amy schumer tell another [ __ ] awful joke and now i'm in need of medical assistance i don't know why she would think it was a good idea to tell this joke after everyone told her not to tell in the first place they gave her a gift of shutting her up like she didn't have to tell this joke they were like we're not allowing you to say it we're putting the kibosh on it now we're doing you a favor and then she slaps them and all of us by telling this joke anyway this whole situation is like if amy and her friend were on like a walk and they approached this cliff and amy didn't see it but her friend did so her friend reaches out to stop her from falling off the cliff literally saving her life but then amy schumer just blasts her hand away saying don't tell me what to do i'll walk where i want to walk and then throws herself off the cliff she then gave us a sneak peek at some other gut busters we missed from her here some more of her comedic stylings she said that she was also going to take aim at joe rogan and james franco but wasn't allowed to say any of that but you can just come up and slap someone that statement doesn't even make sense either amy no one invited will smith to go up there and slap the [ __ ] out of chris rock the man went up there and slapped the taste out of his mouth off script the man had a full-blown winter soldier episode it wasn't planned you had a script that you were getting approved and everyone said these jokes just [ __ ] suck don't tell them it's not the same she's always so incredibly desperate to put herself at the center of everything that ever happens even when it doesn't make sense or even involve her in the slightest she had a golden opportunity just to say nothing and everyone would have forgotten her miserable presence at the oscars but she just had to tell this awful joke and remind everyone why she was universally disliked as one of the worst comedians of our time the only reason she ever even made it into the industry in the first place is because of getting a lucky spawn in life she was born into a really rich and powerful family and through leveraging those connections she was able to make it to the big time and it's one of the saddest stories in all of entertainment but anyway back to how traumatized amy schumer was from the slap she said she's gonna need some time off to process it and i think i speak for everyone in the world when i say amy you take as much time as you need if it's years if it's forever even god damn it you take that time until you feel better about what happened we will all understand no matter how long it takes no it should take a very long time to recover from something like that so wishing you the best in that that road to overcoming that experience at the oscars having to watch that and uh yeah that's about it see ya

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 4,464,580

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Id: 3NFKwNeVgoU

Length: 5min 47sec (347 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 06 2022