Mock the Week, Series 13: 14. New Year's Eve Special. 31 Dec 2014

oh I'm Dara o Briain and welcome to my special New Year ma Kaname tonight is live music spectacular fireworks and a non-stop party atmosphere at least it would be if you'd gone out you're in now so we've got half an hour brand-new material outtakes and favorite clips from the year just gone to keep you entertained hope you enjoy and Happy New Year it doesn't feel like the country's got football fever and like you know these narc tactics with the dip george's cross' in the window this is a lot less of that than they used to be the only piece of a really exciting memory really we found was thinking wasn't saying an Asda during the week this is great I was great for number reasons not least the name of a preacher we can Joe is it's called wearing flag me wearing flag no wearable not to be worn me wearing flag seemed slightly transgressive genuine watching out though now drape myself in the English flag but trust me it is it is it is worth it because it is it has been slightly controversial this one from for reason like I can't quite figure why this has been as controversial as this is [Applause] I can't see any any kind of negative connotations and that Gandalf let himself go as me rubbish if you're walking on the street and the number of men enthusiastic English supporters happen to be walking to have the street towards you they just been two hours don't they've been to thee they'd also bought the burnable long crosses oh you'll find the Dexter will be quite operational [Laughter] [Applause] you look racist but you look so adorable what would help is if you had a flake sticking out [Laughter] Wow I like to wear stripper Kevin's a racist [Applause] obviously every year we do our traditional quiz as you're well aware we've done Christmas create a number of years now so gonna do the traditional New Year's quiz okay about traditions and things that occurred around the world at this special time okay right quiz guys in Peru what as a new year tradition what antisocial behavior can you expect see a new year in Peruvian villages how do they call in the new year not Semitic not spitting no pink guinea pigs no don't eat guinea pigs in this particular class phone marmalade sandwiches to each other you take that no kicking the [ __ ] out of Uruguay ins right picking new Uruguayan Zefat no [Laughter] [Applause] they don't burn effigies no they donate little muggles of Uruguayan zone nothing do you write something there's an anti-social things in each other yes they fight each other worked on very good day nobody does that not just the Peruvians yes they do because apart it leads to a clean slate if you kind of like it's a deal it's like a bit like never would sleep on an argument like never go into the New Year wanting to punch your neighbor in the head - this is rolling now for the first time New Year in Neal any 2015 well look i'm looking for troy britain for 2015 there what's gonna happen i'm not granted you you were couldn't really walk into a bookies and go what else do you give me about me growing a beard get very good ones yeah what I did I try to go at once after Movember and do look my stuff it was already blonde you can release it so I got my girlfriend's eyelash thing yeah painted it and I look at Lionel Richie Richie like the Lionel Richie the Nazi Party can enjoy xena Voinovich II I did meet a girl he said recently cuz I thought I had a goatee beard and she said it maybe looked like I had an arrow going up my nose [Applause] well on the set back to the conservative justice we've been looking for this is the man who the Conservative MP who exposed himself over social media while swearing is blue and red Paisley pajamas yes Brooks in nuuma Oh quite the romantic novelist named Marc reckless is a crazy cop at the edge but Brooks Newmark is your first pet and the road you grew up on [Music] looks like if you pumped up ed miliband and then just slowly let the air out of him [Music] I find myself in the odd I don't normally feel this way but I feel sorry for him I know I have sympathy for him as well but the penis is not a unattractive no no seduction has worked by going well where do you see this generalization but they don't find men's bits I think as just visually well that is a particularly lovely it's specifically designed for that in order for you to get your junk out quick photo pop the back in again pyjamas quickly draw a charcoal sketch take it to a local matter or ass-whupping you've got the catalyst gets bigger as you go on that that is very much the lingua franca for young people and their Josh please I would happen to you're a young man is this common now just as a hello you look quite nice click click there you go it's just a form of a dress I'm told I wasn't expecting to be put on the spot Dhara but I can say that um one of you has received a photo of me already this evening and when you all got back to your dressing rooms my [ __ ] is on your phone dog I thought to be pre-loaded anyway like the YouTube people would be complaining about the space that was taken up on my phone 32 gig for this baby not thinking wearing the pajamas is a generational thing as well do you wear pajamas my pics finish you for me on the gentleman was not long ago we were seeing says before you've not too bad but ready for bed a and Herod is he smashing of glass downstairs and I ran downstairs doesn't look like me thank you for a little tiny curly wig on the top picture frame had fallen off a thing and smash but he felt like somebody's broken into that and I feel it is much more impressive to run downstairs like territorially defending your house in just two pair of pants in a row rather than in the pair of pajamas esteem the only way to confront an invader in your home is completely naked Sameera erectus in semi erect full erect too weird our next I have thought newsreel we playing a recent piece of footage featuring people in the news and that's huge to suggest what might be being said this week's clip features the g20 leaders Oh Happy New Year mr. Cameron of course I'm the Canadian Prime Minister mm-hmm yes what I know this have you made any New Year's resolutions yeah this year I'm gonna make sure that everyone knows my name don't be silly everybody already knows your name mr. mr. this well Andrew I really like you the coffee would be [ __ ] yet so I went to Starbucks I got myself a venti cappuccino with the teabag in it people think we're dull but they don't realize how many famous Canadians here are it is Mike Myers Bryan Adams Keanu Reeves what can I just stop you there this is fascinating it's so fascinating I'm thinking of putting my head in an oven yeah well yeah the list is long and Leonard Cohen Chewbacca he's a bear yeah that's right and another one Celine Dion would you believe it Celine Dion gosh Celine Dion how interesting that really is welcome to this the new President Obama sitting next to him the man who hasn't slept for the thousand something what have I forgotten yes what if I could remember I wouldn't forgotten my children where are my children whatever I hope I've left him with Samantha thinking of whom I just pop in another viagra to qualify for second meerkat toy just one more here I'll be on a beach this is great yeah I'll stand here hey President Rousseff of Brazil thank you very much what a great year of you provided us with that world cup thank you very much thank you no but if you want to see real ball skittle come to my room sweet away I'm sorry I'm late everybody and examined locked me in the lavatory again look at this this is a walk I call crazy you will all smile or I will have you shot so get off my territory what might you see a Colombian carrying with them on New Year's Eve no longer walks no it's not a per kilo of cocaine that's so strong nothing to do with cocaine they run with these things around the block incisors don't do that no it's nothing relation is it deckchairs for a good view of the fireworks a burning talk not like writing cards no it's to represent travel Oh wheels no no car no plane no playing Expedia vouchers Frankie watch the trunk a coconut - case my trunky the childhoods that you can see this is the most fun I ever look the way meanwhile one is George Osmond asked the public to design is it a plan for the economy no it is not [Music] new pound coin yes it is a new pound cause a new pound coin but they won't because it's such a big thing they're not going to decide are there before the referendums over no provocative I think it won't be provocative it just be the head of the queen will have a speech bubble on it and coming on the speech bubble just say not for you jock bits and put Charles on it have been designed in pound Cointreau my wife he is 24 15 quid if you're interested reflects the status and value of the pound coin that's what the design should be should that say I think the design should probably have a picture of like a shopping trolley on it and on the other side it should say token it's gonna have the queen's head on one side isn't yes you know and obviously you know every coins got head in the tail so it's got the royal head on one side surely it should have a royal ass on the other side Prince Andrew it'd fit the bill would that's much more fun when it feels rich that was not in our lifetime though I had one out of currency just because of that either not in your lifetime what not money huh yeah what really when wind is bent when were you born I'm 86 yeah it wasn't in your lifetime Rory Bremner and frankly who are these children in your seats telling people we met you [Applause] we know for the allegations [Applause] what has gold said the schools must now promote my new DVD old sexy me has to say but it's bad news on what as Gove said schools must promote his new DVD so well again sorry say again his new DVDs on a new is that PO in the burette River City or sorry we know where it's going yes said Tigger and we're never holidaying in Newcastle again why is this man in the news this week it's the prime minister of our country this week's clip fits after today this week's keep sleep [Laughter] so what you want to know about me I like reading cinema socializing friends and a cheeky follow up the ass yeah that's always funny innit probably all said oh I can think of a lot of circumstance where it's not the lease for anything in the world of Tommy we are a true are phosphor gone the topic is animals let's give mr. Amish there's no one there I think [ __ ] would you be in the cast of the new Star Wars film this is a picture of David Cameron lobbying European leaders to block the appointment of former Luxembourg PM use jean-claude honker as the new president of the European Commission oh I [ __ ] it up against the Yonkers now [ __ ] him and his stupid name apparently the cabinet now is more Euroskeptic but imagine thinking that Europe doesn't actually exist and I had a near Europe experience once when I was on holiday in Kent by myself walking along a tunnel towards the light in the end someone said Bonjour so I'm fair I thought I'd lived a good life [Laughter] you got to call it so which week Milton is actually mocking on [Applause] Charlie couldn't believe he was being allowed into the Chocolate Factory his girlfriend had been dead against it for years [Applause] to find the crash and final question right this is one I dunno air what do the Spanish try to fit in their mouths at midnight I'm already know it's 12 grapes it is 12 hey wish you mate that you don't choke as well these are like he's like figs more than three or four No [Music] [Applause] punishment as punishment oops do another 12 gonna use the puzzle for the gold I'm not gonna stop [ __ ] [Laughter] okay we have to do okay ground [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] right there we go right [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] can we do the Peruvian one now but if you go go on a website that you you shouldn't really be on you just delete history don't you I mean the tricky bit is not deleting history the tricky bit is then going on all the innocuous websites afterwards so it doesn't look like you've deleted history history seems to be very empty in this computer you're all leaving yesterday I never touched it yes private browsing and the private browser remember the army-corps private browsing good afternoon are you on duty gale I certainly am protecting you from any inappropriate site for Julie protect your browsing while you shop for gifts for your wife booth I'm shopping for some gifts for my wife oh really we seem to be butting our pornography are you sure she particularly [Laughter] [Laughter] is innocence Rosie [Laughter] no you that I'm what did the paperclip that would appear it said do you want to look it's a born primarily gonna help you to that the last record of a long summer you know lately I've got to enjoy this because in three days time I'll be going over the next 12 weeks 20k this is gonna get some corporal punishment and colonel Abrams [Laughter] sorry her name is this graco know about do you anyone even run my car names and he's thanks uncle trapped it was really good like a man of age I'm so in love with you sorry carry on with the show we've got a shared past okay unlikely things to hear at new year ten nine eight seven six five four three two one I want some prawn crackers Thanks my new year's resolution is to try new and interesting ways of doing things that's why I'm staring the punch with my [ __ ] I've just had a glass of this punch my prediction for this year is it I will make a high-pitched sound there will be a buzzing noise and then I will die I'd murder a bitter turkey I'm so glad you're here I wanted the books now it's time for Big Ben I'll put the music on Ben get your kicks off welcome to hootenanny the topless bar for the gentleman he refers the older lady of course I can stay up till 12 I'll just have another Viagra last New Year's party really ended with a bang for me when I drunkenly mistook a party popper for a tampon okay the next topic is commercials that never made it to air Yorkshire tea the taste of Yorkshire bitter we got surprises in store the escalators broken and staff no [ __ ] or [Applause] Dignitas it's not a revoir have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life next time use directs if you can find it cheaper anywhere else tell us and we'll burn their shop down the DFS sale has ended have you been injured whilst doing voluntary work well that's your look out isn't it the Dyson hand dryer the perfect way to drown out the sound of somebody having a [ __ ] [Applause] papa papa I'm sorry Nicole we've lost him by little wine because poor people shouldn't have to drink cider but what if the worst happens who gives a [ __ ] you'll be dead news international when you talk we listen is the thing I did go to Specsavers [Applause] milk try and forget it came out of a cow's tits a view book Joe Hart to advertise your product have you paid for advertising space until the end of the World Cup then you may be entitled to compensation [Applause] like I have a Happy New Year from [Applause] you you

Channel: Ovid

Views: 183,644

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Id: 8So-yAAqyQA

Length: 30min 31sec (1831 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 11 2018