Mock The Week S18E02 May 30, 2019

we started around called picture of the week I show the panel of topical image and after tell me what's happening so what's going on here why did she decide to move up to the lectern is it to resume proving that she can leave something someone just shouted we'll be glad to see the back of you and she's taken it far too literally into her house right now and take off her bra I think what she said was she was like now I can listen to my favorite music the country-and-western I love [Laughter] I don't think of some of those great country songs and I'd be good to cry as well it doesn't look frightening me like the door is still closed that would have been great during the speech they changed the locks never flap always on the inside and all of her clothes and if you're going inside to regenerate she's going inside to meet Chris de Burgh say oh I can't wait to watch some daytime TV like that Jeremy Kyle out of what say least that line of duty Oh [Applause] two big breakfast [Applause] this is of course the first mock the week she has had time to watch since June 2016 yes so if you're watching I hope you realize how supportive and caring we have been over the last three is it Theresa May resigning as Conservative leader absolutely right yes thank you very much her resignation may we'll step down as leader of the Conservative Party in the seventh of June but will continue to serve as Prime Minister until the Tory leadership contest has been concluded this seemed to be the biggest crisis in her house did you feel sorry for her or I feel sorry for anyone who's forced to make an announcement standing in the middle of a road she tried to look a bit sorry I mean I prefer to have resignation to Cameron who just looked smug you look like you she's give you back a higher car driven through a river laters peeps I am originally from Russia and I can't deal that resignation is even an option for a leader this is on the table for him you continue to prepare 12 hours of piano music played on the state broadcast sleeping 96% victory she's not like Peter we were one week away from her riding on a horse with no top on the lectern I don't understand that you could just you could do it with a bit of paper if she got elected it always makes me think she's gonna make an announcement with a glove puppet help me is monkey time you see super behind the lectern yeah university did you go to exact Cambridge [Applause] are you also the head of kaya's college I think you'll find his pronounced keys I just couldn't let that one go was there any new tempering of decipher maze policies with the humanity of the moment for on this side I think I mean you'd sort of you can feel sorry that she was in a difficult position but I think I feel more sorry for the people of the country it was an interesting way to cry as well at the end I've never seen anybody cry at the end when they go the country you know it's not like they're doing films is it you never saw that in a wartime film like by the way maybe just want to say the word love so even if she's got a restaurant you guys this is the type of curry I so what is it about our distinctive style that we'll miss most she's gonna do now but I know she's leaving on the seventh love island begins on the third edition to the house no one's got someone to couple up with then suddenly in she comes going to be making fun of the dancing quite a lot and I always feel like well that wasn't really the main problem no no no one goes oh I can't stand that Robert Mugabe but have you seen his Macarena it's please we lose her emotional everything focused on at the end giving up that was literally the taking that most most obviously absent in the years that she was there the human slave all upright she just saved up all her emotion until that one last moment that's why she sounded so weird years built up and then suddenly it sounded like the spirit leaving her that's what it sounded like that was it goes you should see the haunted all this time and a ghost of Margaret Thatcher yeah way because that's exactly how I said when I come [Applause] the country very patriotic you decide yeah or like any guy I've ever dated she just can't pronounce the word love she's not totally without humanity too of course we remember the running through fields of wheat fields of reefs nor do you think she's ever done I did a bit back there on that as well though because I thought well she can't exactly turn round and go all the nauseous thing I've ever done oh well I did once do heroine bronze have come for dinner on a moped stealing mobile phones was pretty no idea of me I get punched not woman in the face she died skip through some fields of wheat who threatened to upstage trees in May at the most important moment it was the lectern man yeah oh he was so fit I think he gives a very unrealistic indication of what the average sound guy looks like I mean I think especially up the sound guys at Mott the weak or amongst the ugliest people if I were him I wouldn't been able to resist putting a little bit of superglue just on the top of that so it's reason they would have had to do that speech and then carry the lit was so excited about him it's as though they were just thrilled to see someone on the steps of number 10 just doing their job should be described as a as a MILF which is mechanic I'd like to fund for a leadership bit he's running under the slogan a sound guy yeah now if they run cold and don't at the door hit you on the Mae out this came volved Tom Allen and Glenmore so if you could make your way to the performance area please this rounds the sound of challenge I launched the wheel of news and wherever it uses to stop one of our performers and step for it and talk about that subject okay here we go let's spin the wheel and the topic is growing up as offensive I think my parents always wants to me to be really really grown-up like I remember years ago my parents coming into my room confiscating all my toys and saying you tore for teddy bears and our sort set I just stormed out the house and I just drove I'm a proper grown-up now though and I can tell them a grown-up because of my pajamas well you can all tell your grown-ups cause your pajamas cause like when you're a kid I'd wear pajamas had like immature things on like Disney characters and stuff like that but now I'm a grown-up you know I wear pajamas that have got more mature characters on like the cast of Atonement we've both got hairy stars pajamas but huh say one direction and mine say Dunkirk obviously slippers is the only exception to this slippers only ever have grown-up characters on because it's only grownups who wear slippers no child in their right mind is wearing slippers and if your child is wearing slippers keep your creepy Jacob Riis mock child away from me when I was growing up all I ever wants to be was AI wants to be an astronaut and I thought I could be an astronaut I've only got two weaknesses being vague and another weakness is if you tell your teachers you want to be an astronaut they say no you don't need to study that you need to study Shakespeare the only way you can become clever is if you study Shakespeare that's not true Shakespeare didn't study Shakespeare he went on to become Shakespeare I'm just an audit myself because I didn't realize to be an astronaut you got to be good at science and I didn't listen during science and now I don't remember any science like I remember the basics I know stuff like if you put a tooth in some milk you will lose your job at Craven Dale know what I do remember and what I don't remember and I find it unfair I find it unfair that the seven years of my life I'd to study physics every single week I don't remember any physics yeah in 2003 I saw half of Johnny English I still remember the name Pascal Sauvage Oh that leaves matam let's spin the wheel and see what your topic is the topic is exercise also a picture of me I'm not very good at exercise I joined the gym I joined virgin active because there wasn't a virgin passive process very intimidating like when you go in there you've confronted all the cardio area like the cardio area they call it cardio because that's where you go to have a heart attack the other end they have what they call the free weight section the free weights which I have no business being in because it's for the bigger boys the bigger boys go there all day then lifting pigs all day all day trying to get big arms trying to turn their arms into legs I think it all really started at school like I didn't like doing PE at school what would happen is after assembly one class would have to stay behind in the hall because they'd be doing gym and I never found out who gym was if you had to use the operator spacy was this huge terrifying cage which had to be buckled to the wall to so terrifying and older children would have to come in who'd been trained by the army tether its bones they'd pull of leave and it would lurch out and it would swing out and these huge terrifying arms actually buckle to the floor otherwise it would just swing out and kill everybody these bars and ropes and chains it was very much like a weekend I recently spent in Berlin [Applause] our next time is called if this is the answer what is the question on the board are six categories I'll go which category like politics okay politics it is the answer is 29 what is in question how many Tories joined the leadership contest since the beginning of this recording is it how many years has Theresa May aged in the last year how many seconds Edie took to choose that shirt sorry I'm getting fashion tips from ammonia's the shop at big and tall and someone from Victorian times I was having a bit of laddie bounce people do all the time on these sorts of shows about the banter that's right bucket you that's how laddie bans what do I have to throw it back again no it's fine please sounds like a Scottish singer from the sixties Jamie Oliver thirty minute recipe after how many minutes does the recipe go into administration how long does it take so solid crew to go is it how many A's are in Dominic Robb is how many days would a man have to live in a woman's body before abortions were legalized then there was no tax on tampons [Applause] it's a BBC balance I just like so disagree with everything Anjali is it the highest UK has ever come in Eurovision is it Daraa what is the winning number in tonight's Mock the Week raffle is the V Age all of Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriends go missing is it the number of seconds it takes Tyra to go through hair and makeup for the show [Applause] [Applause] call me like I've faked a geography teacher thing when you brush it all forward it's clearly obvious no no does any have the correct yeah is it how many weeks after we leave the EU will we politely ask to join again is that many people the brexit party got elected into the European Parliament Susie right oh yes how many seats to the brexit party win in the European elections news at night refreshes brags a party topped the polls in every region of the UK apart from London Scotland and in northern where the party did not stand okay it's been an MEP right now bricks it's coming it's like getting a Christmas job at Debenhams I think we should wait for them to all go to Brussels and then remove freedom of movement so they can't get back in it's amazing about it notice that he you know the breaks a Ponzi really has no policies on anything except brexit yeah does it and and the Labour Party has policies on everything except breakfast do you remember when Jeremy Corbyn was at Glastonbury and everyone was going yeah Jeremy Corbyn go mad from and now no one cares about it that's how the Zutons must feel he's had a big week he hasn't a big week yes why is that it was his birthday and he could he couldn't work out whether to commit to a party or not 17th the main party was at his gaff but Diane Abbott had everyone for pre drinks on the tube probably the Corbin party is it have you really read difficult the birthday party he'd have like half the people the party only got paintballing and the other half thing that the Jews around the media what should we get him for his 70th birthday do you think I don't think you want present I think he'd be quite give it and like but not in like a fun way like the cake could be carraclough gonna be rubbish and then like it'll be a party bag but it's like a Hessian sack that's got like the Communist Manifesto in a flat cap raisins but you look closer when it smells a little red book I quite enjoyed the next the next morning the first thing I read on Twitter was someone going it was a victory for romaine all of the romaine parties when you add up every single one of their votes yeah beat the brexit pot you can't do that you can't just don't run ago London won the Premier League well it's what will happen is we'll end up leaving then in a decade it'll all be terrible so we'll ask to go back and they'll let us back in but only if we start doing weird European stuff like giving kids whining paprika Chris go back in but now your national sport is handball right I grew up in Russia oh but there in Eurovision I mean South Australia okay but I mean the turnout for this was so low Russia didn't even interfere yeah the Russian political thing isn't you know you've talked about this how do you think I got on Mock the Week in other news who's favored to replace three's a mayor's party leader he's been quiet for about six months we knew he was up the Tories are likely to select him on there because it's up against Faraj and you need to fight Titan with Titan of it you know it's like the plot of Godzilla but with felons not being Boris I find it so weird but he will sleep in the same bed that Teresa may use to cry on there whoever comes in after will definitely change the bed I can imagine him put you in one of those race car beds Prime Minister it does mean that Gary Busey will be in series 7 of the crowd so that's then we go Rob got Gove estimate of a anaphase running 20 robots for Manchester he's listening I think we is a you under be Allah she this love island sorry the result at the same time so it's very easy to mix up these two competitions they're both willing beacuse of eliminations will narrow down your the best thing about levantese Oh God ed Gamble's in us look [Applause] give it first people to bring it up I'm dealing with 24 hours of [ __ ] on Twitter for this that's another reason if you take that shirt off and I know you do think it's just one picture let's have a look ahead [Applause] which I did look like is he like you as a person though I've never met him where's he from the country said to me oh you look just like this person probably Dhara I want to meet them and find out about them at night he's like look up one thing about meeting Tom cuz he's on [ __ ] love I always meet them easily I've never met Louis Theroux I don't want to have the party where we meet the people we look like cuz I'm not sitting in the corner with the mega boo well here we are again [Applause] one of those doppelganger websites where you upload your photo told me I was 92% Patrick Swayze Pisces no longer 92% the end of that the postman now we found who seems we'd like to see so if everyone can make the way over to the performance area please I'll read at this week's topics and then we'll see can come up with okay here we go the first subject is things you wouldn't hear on a history documentary now while this may look like an ordinary car park in Leicester this is actually the final resting place of my hymen it's on this very spot in Dallas overlooking the president's motorcade that John F Kennedy is going to die and it was here in this field that the fighting started it was glass Barry 2015 and some prick Nick my tent the Trojans had been fooled by a wooden horse they would never bet on the Grand National again I am walking on the outside of this castle because of my National Trust lifetime ban it's 1856 but it'll be 1903 before the southern train arrives Henry the eighth's likes his wives to be athletic and that was her downfall she wouldn't run she wouldn't walk she would simply and Berlin and so the king appointed a viceroy as a replacement for his regular roy we talked a lot about Winston Churchill's achievements but we don't talk nearly enough about that ass its 1066 so that can only mean one thing I shouldn't have bought my digital watch from a market before dawn the carts would all come out to collect the bodies that is until the day the Prince Philip finally handed in his driving license as the door was opened he uttered the words which would start the Russian Revolution excuse me he said he's Lenin this was a time before Sigourney Weaver when everyone else had to weave their own Sigourney's [Applause] incensed that both Henry and Edward had become King Thomas the Tank Engine of course we talk a lot about richard the lionheart but we seldom talk about his brother William leopard scrotum [Laughter] and the tyrannical leader took his own life in the bunker is what I hope for every time Trump goes golfing isambard kingdom brunel died as the most famous stupidest named person in the world today we look at one of the key figures of the Ming Dynasty your mum [Applause] unlikely things to hear in hospital we need a drip somebody get me Michael Gove good news is your blood results have come back clear the bad news is blood shouldn't be clear yay 350 million pounds great news [Music] time of death Pimm's o'clock look if you squeeze ease drip really hard he gets an erection I'm a junior doctor and I get paid enough a wrecked-tile dysfunction you say um does it hurt want to do this and does it feel amazing what I do there now you have pneumonia would you like to keep that or gamble for the big prize I remember when my dick looked that young I am the leading gynecologist in this hospital I work in the cafe but I'm a bit of a legend would anybody like a hand I've just found a hand you have cancer so are you're having a cancer your baby is due July 15 well the good news it's not spread it might be jam or I see you I see you so can you tell me the way to the ICU we've had a look at your x-ray and what we found might alarm you there's a big skeleton living in your body yes I think it's a curvature of the upper spine but it's just a hunch good news mrs. Mae we managed to have your tear ducts repaired just in time for your big speech [Applause] that's the end of the show this week's winners are AG camber of the truck commiserations the general here there's a hand I'll be walking on Garvey good night [Music] the owner Bruce stares the conversation over on bbc1 question time in a couple of minutes and for a funny topical look at modern britain Ramesh's you man check out his new series the Ranga nation on BBC iPlayer you

Channel: SUZANNE FOUASNON

Views: 197,366

Keywords: Mock The Week, Mock The Week S18E02

Id: Ir96FSMLhNE

Length: 30min 10sec (1810 seconds)

Published: Fri May 31 2019