Previously, on Telltale Cashin' Jesse still has the hair clippers that are shiny. And apparently are made by old builders. Old people smell funny. Now the guys are trapped in the land of portals. And there were two episodes before this that apparently don't mean anything to the story. I live for this shit. Hey guys! We'll be right back with Minecraft episode 7 after this sponsorship from App Bounty you guys go to app Bounty.net, You'll get all types of free stuff. If you guys like games, But can't really afford to buy them, we have free Steam gift cards for you. If you guys like music for free, But are afraid of going to jail for piracy, this app is for you. Now, what you do is you go to app bounty.net, or you can check out the link in our description below and you're going to type in this code. Which is right here, we don't know what it is yet, but it's going to be right here in text (Smash). So type in that code you'll get 50 free credits. now You can use these credits and they add up and you get all these free rewards like prizes for Amazon gift cards, itunes gift cards PSN, Xbox, all of this cool stuff. These apps tell you how much they're worth when you download these apps and try them literally the credits come in 30 seconds. You don't even have to be using the app all you have to do is open it and these credits will add up quickly. The best part is there are so many apps on here that it's seemingly endless you can rack up your credits. So you get closer to these big prizes. And if you don't like the apps when you're done using them you can just delete them. Like Eharmony am I ever going to need this app? (Oh boy.) Probably yes, so please guys give a big thank you and go check out all this free stuff. You can get on app bounty. Now back to Minecraft story mode episode 7. Now here's a montage of their Wacky adventures *Used Montage. It's super effective!* Petra: Ah! Why am I always on fire? Ivor: I can't believe there's a fire world Jesse: Yeah, I know, right? Even though the portal we entered is on fire. I mean, who would have known? Hey Lucas, your *ss is on fire. Lucas: Huh? Oh. OH! Put it out, Jesse! Jesse: Uh, okay? Lucas: I'm all better now. I marked that one down as the great spankage. Petra: Wow, that's such a good name. Oooo. Jesse: What's up of you miss grouchy pants? Petra: What's up with me? I'm so sick of being set on fire. I'm legit a burn victim right now! Jesse: Well that's your fault for being clumsy. Lucas: Ow! My butt. Jesse: Lucas is on fire again, We don't see him complaining. Lucas: [I] didn't do that on purpose or anything quickly put it out. Jesse: I think once was enough. Lucas: Petra, Please put it out. Petra: Stay away from me Ah! Ow ow (Pain) You see what I mean? Jesse: what do you mean? Petra: Oh my god I'm so over this. Ivor: Petra Where are you going? It's no fun if you're not here. It's funny when you get set on fire Petra: I'm gonna go home cause at least then they'll be a fire Department that can put me out every time. Jesse: I highly doubt that one will take us back home. Petra: I don't care It's red and I love red so- Lukas: So are we gonna go after her? Jesse: mMM honestly? I don't care but knowing her. She will get some fire again, and I don't want to miss that. Lukas: Yeah that's true. Ivor:I agree. (Falling & Screaming) Lukas: Hey, this place is a desert. Jesse: Is it? I thought it was an aquarium. Lukas: Well that's going down as asshole Sarcastic remark. Jesse: All right calm down in Frank. Petra (Screams) Ivor: I guess we Found Petra. Jesse: I'll BRB Ivor: Isn't weird that this actually feels good? (Lukas Writing something down) Ivor: Don't write that down! Petra: Ahhhhhh. oh. (On Fire & in Pain) Jesse: Clearly more safe on your own. Petra: I told you not to follow me. Jesse: And technically you didn't you just stormed off (Zombie Moaning) Jesse: Ew What is that on his head It like a massive zit. Oh (Zombie on Fire) Petra: Hey, It just set on fire. That's my character thing. Jesse: Oh so now you don't mind it? (Petra Steping on the Zombie to remove the fire) Ivor: Aw Shit did we miss the Fire? Jesse: yep it was pretty funny too. Lukas: Damnit! Petra: You guys are jerks! Jesse: Petra kill a Teenage zombie thorugh. HUGE zit on his head. Lukas: Like those guys? Jesse: Hey if you leave us alone, then I'll buy some cream for your face how that sound? (Phone Srceaming LOUDLY) Jesse: Argh the sound it's taking me back to the early 2000's whenever the phone used to ring! It was a Dark time! (Zombie Begins to do the hey markerina) Ivor: Um? Hey I love this Dance! Hey Mark Mark Markerina Jesse: Screw it man. (Jesse & Ivor continue to dance to the Markerina) Petra: So this is where they live? Ivor: Yeah their zips are driving me crazy. I need to pop these bastards! (Ivor Gets Shock) Lukas: They're wearing shock collars? Jesse: Hey man maybe they're into some weird shit I won't judge. Hey a excuse? Are there any cool bars in the area do you know? ugh what what the floppity dinks? Petra: Jesse? What happened? Jesse: Something really weird. I just realized my shoes untied. Oh and that guy was like a weird robot something. (mysterious person lurking jumping to other houses) Jesse: Someone just- I don't know how to describe that but they're in the house. mysterious person: OH yeah this is what I need in my life. Jesse: Pardon me, Madam? (mysterious person: Startle) mysterious person: Is that you Pama? Jesse: I mean I can be depending on the payoff. mysterious person: Hey who sent you Minecon security? I didn't survive this long in this place just to get killed by a guy who sips on tea and eat crumpets all day. Jesse: Hey don't knock it till you try it. mysterious person: Well I guess your eyes aren't on demonic, and shit. I'm a turnaround While I say this and I'm gonna turn around and aw shit! Ivor: Oh my God, she's so Hot. Jesse: Basically Petra runoff because she's a goonie bitch and was crying out all the fire incidents So now we're looking for a bar to sit down have a drink like until my pirate jokes. mysterious person: Oh l Love Pirates jokes tell me one. Jesse: okay. Well do pirates drive? mysterious person: a car! Jesse: No a ship fucking idiot. Lukas: uh Jesse we got weird terminators charging towards us. Jesse: I will be fine. That's five of us and- ugh was it the pirate joke? I've got more! Lukas: as usual. What are we doing? Jesse? Jesse: I dunno just try and blend in. (Everyone trys to blend in) Ivor: Marker marker marker- Ivor: uh oh. Jesse: Damnnit Ivor you blew are cover. Petra: oh get off of me! Ivor: hey marker marker- Robot man: You're coming with me. Jesse: Yeah. come on then bring it! (Jesse Balls sacked) Jesse: (Painly) That is not cool you never go to the balls man ah! Jesse: What happened? Ivor:you got your balls annihilated then you got knocked out like a pussy. Jesse: yeah, well, then why are you here? Ivor: Oh well, I came willingly mysterious computer: hello. I apologize for the ballbusting [hahahaha] Jesse: You make me sick. what kind of person orders their robot to do that to another human being? Pama: My name is Pama. my job is to make everyone dance and watch quality content on YouTube. (Dexter Manning) look at that. It look like it folds out watch. OHHHH (xbox controller Smashes) Jesse: Qoute rotations on the quality. Puma: These people are under my control and watch whatever I want them to watch and dance for me at will. Apart from this guy. He's just weird. Ivor: ha ha. ha ha. Jesse: Well, let me ask you Pama what kind of videos you tend to watch do you watch any cinemasins? Pama: No. Jesse: Couchup? Pama: No. Jesse: Funhouse? Pama:No. Jesse: Dexter manning? Pama: God NO! Jesse: Well then screwed this I'm out of here come on guys Robot Petra: We love shitty content. Jesse: What's going on here? Ivor: Oh yeah, they turned them both into robots while you were battling away. Jesse: Curse me and my lovely mouth. Pama: I will make you watch some Shitty Youtube videos and you will Love it! Jesse: he's a computer right? Just got to confuse it somehow. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a much wood how much wood would a would oh fuck how how much how? (Jesse still continue with how much with a woodchuck) mysterious person: um jesse? Jesse? Pama: What are you trying to say? Jesse: Seashell Seashell Pama: Seashells seashells by the seashore. Jesse: Yeah, yeah that one. (Sign). Ivor: you're so lame right now. Jesse: My favorite color is Puke Green. Pama: Nahuh, no, that is not anyone's favorite color that is semi my mind is srampled aw shit. Ivor: nice job jesse although I kind of want to stay here and dance for all eternity. Mysterious person: Hey come on you guys. You're gonna get out of here. Ivor: nevermind I'm coming! Jesse: yeah, so screwed. We are so screwed. Ivor: Don't worry. I have plot devices. I got this and this and this and these Jesse: What do these do? Ivor: Oh, that's my lunch try these ya throw them and they teleports ya. So throw them down there in the right spot. Ivor: ah Jesse: ugh, think I bit too hard. Jesse (Falling & Screaming) Mysterious person: Hurry Follow me motherfuckers. Ivor: Oh my God. She's amazing. Mysterious person: Now watch out there's a hole here. Ivor: So amazing. Jesse: So what is this demonic PC anyway? Mysterious person: I got tired of searching of Youtube videos so I made a computer slave to do it for me Jesse: Why would you do that to yourself? Mysterious person: Because I'm amazing Ivor: she is amazing. Jesse: You are not amazing. Mysterious person: I'm a distract the teenagers, so going to my Lair thing. Hey Teenages I got skateboards and sadness follow me! (Teenage Zombie Moan Heavily) Jesse: Hey look a lever I wonderthis does? ah I didn't see that happening. Ivor: Hey look it open up a gaping hole. Jesse: Come on dive into the water! (Jesse & Ivor Fall down to the Gapping Hole) Ivor: I have a feeling one of us is gone a miss for comedic effect. Jesse: Oh god, oh god OH GOD! Ivor: Oh, I guess I was wrong. Ivor: Where's that old chick? Jesse: I bet she's proper Sacke. Mysterious person: Get to find out boy Jesse: No, Ivor: Yes Harper: My name is Harper by the way. Jesse: Do you play the harp and say Orah alot? Huh? No? Ivor: I get it! (Laughing) Harper: Look we got to stop Pama! Jesse: What is Puma even stand for? Harper: Penguin Or apple? Magnetic or Appendix? Jesse: catche name. Harper: press that lever. Jesse: Bada-boom Harper: Welcome to my waterpark! We got slides. We got waterfalls. We got showers. I even got a caged Dolphin. Dolphin: kill me. Jesse: What's all this for? Harper: Oh to open up the door behind me you got a ride on the slides. Ivor: [haha]. Yeah. I'm Stuck! Robot Petra: You will watch youtube videos. Robot Lukas: you'll enjoy the trending tab. Jesse: Oh, you guys got the worst timing. Oh Eat this! (Petra Shortcuriting) Harper: Aw shit! Get the roses to Harry! Jesse: fucking what?! Harper: I love cryptic clues. Petra: Oh my God. I was like a robot and shit. Ivor: I don't get it took away the hot chick. Jesse: okay here we go last slide! Jesse: Move your asses. Petra: Hyah so insensitive. Jesse: So how was it? How was all that content? Petra: There was a lot of let's plays a lot of oh my gods And this is awesome guys and please like and subscribe it's kind of like watching someone write an essay, and they're trying to reach their word count mostly a big nothing. Jesse: I'm sorry you have to go through that you are a brave soldier. Hey is this harper's room? Ivor: It is?
(Ivor Smelling Harper's bed) rah Smells like cheese. Jesse: What is wrong with you? Poor woman she must have been so lonely she's got imaginary friends with benefits. Petra: I found harry. Jesse: I know what I have to do. There we go. ah sweet. I got a free VR headset. Let have look here. Petra: What do you see Jesse? Jesse: Pretty sure that she forgot to close her tabs last time. uh here we go. [I'm] pretty sure on controlling a teenager right now. Ivor: How do you know? Jesse: I feel like I know everything about the universe, and I feel like pissing off my parents Pama: What do you think you are doing Jessie? Jesse: Stay back I have angsty feeling! (Pinching Sound) Da Ivor: You look like such an idiot right now. Jesse: Leave me alone, [raah] Sweet I can teleport around. Harper: Jesse is that you?
(Harper trys to say something) (Jesse: stills continue to Teleport) Harper: I'm trying to tell you something kill the Redstone heart. Jesse: Ah. Petra: Well that part of the story was pointless. Ivor: shut up she's hot and she told her to destroy the Redstone heart. Jesse: which she could Have told us earlier. Ivor: Well uh FUCK YOU! Jesse: So Pama's Lair is over there what items do we got? I've got these Petra: I've got these Ivor: And I got these. Jesse: So basically, we're dead. Ivor: I have more potions. Jesse: Are you serious? Why didn't you mention anything earlier?! Ivor: I don't know I only use them for the climax. Jesse: What do you got? Ivor: I've got a potion of invisibility. Jesse: sounds good. Ivor: And a potion of leaping. Jesse: Potion of what? Ivor: leaping. Jesse: what does that even mean? Ivor: I don't know. Drink it and you'll find out! Jesse: How about I take both of them. Ivor: [no] Jesse: why not? Ivor: Because if you have two at once your balls will explode. Jesse: no, they won't. Ivor: you're right They won't. Jesse: so just give me them both. Ivor: I can't it's breaking the rules! Jesse: fine! (Jesse Drinking the Potion of Leaping) Jesse: Wow I'm a frog now. There it is, so you'll have a broken- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (Jesse panicing) Jesse: Jump scares come on that's not cool. Pama: You made me resort to it try and beat me if you can. Jesse: Well I'm a frog now. So you're done. (Leaping) Puma: Get in spiders! Damn it why did I use the weakest enemy in the game get him old lady. (Harper Playing the Harper & Moaning)
(Get it playing the Harper) Jesse: See I knew it. Puma: you wouldn't hit an old lady would- Wow you're an asshole. Robot Lukas: I'm still a robot by the way. Jesse: Let's look around if anybody care, didn't think so.
Rest In Peace Pama. Pama: NNNOOO my quality YouTube videos watching connnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn- (Error) Jesse: Sweet I saved the world again for like the fourth time. It's not boring at all at this point I'm loving this. Harper: Thank you Jessie! Now. Can have real friends with benefits again. Civilian 1:You wish we all hate you. Harper: It's not my fault, Puma went crazy and- Civilian 2: We hated you before Puma went evil. Civilian 3: Yeah, you're really annoying Harper: Oh well shit. I guess I go with guys than. Jesse: Great. Ivor: Dreams do come true! Jesse: Oh boy. We're back in Portalland. Harper: Don't worry. I know how to get you home Shome Puma's heart in that hole over there. Jesse: Hold on a minute this episode wasn't pointless has actually contributed to the overall story arc. Harper: Amazingly, yeah. Jesse: This is a glorious day. Petra: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (And now Petra is now fire. Again.) (And now a word with Smashbits animations)
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