Previously on Minecraft BORE-Y Mode... (See what I did there? Because the game's really boring.) After Jesse was rudely interrupted for reading his book - - he went outside. The big floaty thing with three heads, ate people and stuff. It ate the guy with a sword - - who gave our sarcastic English friends some... ... weird stone, who fucking cares. Petra also got lifted up by the thing and then - - pulled away. Don't worry, it make sense to the plot later I promise. There's a part here where - - they're walking up this... this map and lava... Okay, now it begins. Hey lads. Minecraft realistic will be right back. Episode two wouldn't be possible if it - - wasn't for our sponsor eBonus.gg. Ebonus is a website where you can - - get free gift cards, free in game points and even - - free games like Minecraft or Undertale. What you got to do? Well first signing up is pretty easy just remember - - to use the code Smashbits to get a free 100 coins. You also get to start with a lucky box. The website gives you YouTube - - videos to - - watch and then after watching YouTube - - videos you get a random amount of coins. You get the most coins though by going - - through the mission wall. That's where - - you find offers that give you many - - different missions to accomplish for - - coins missions including like surveys... ... trying out websites and signing up for - - stuff. eBonus also has pop-up coins - they - - flash up randomly on the screen so you - - got to pay real careful attention to click - - them and get the extra points. Once you get - - enough points just go to the award - - section. I within 30 minutes had enough - - points to exchange for a random steam - - game code. Within 24 hours I got the - - email for the steam code and I got a - - game. So check it out if you want free - stuff AND LET'S GET BACK TO IT-! *Dramatic music* Woooohoo! Was the actual line reading from the game? Yeah let's change that. WoohOoO! That's better. Come on Jesse, why aren't you having fun? I mean I know we skipped a lot forward from - - Minecraft Episode 1. But I still hate you - - It's your fault the reason why everyone is dying. Well maybe next time you should think - - about your actions before calling me fat. ... You're fat. *Crying* Just don't forget the reason we're actually here. Pies? :3 We're getting the boy band back together. Order of the Goons, remember? You remember their number one hit: "Dying Very Easily" *Flashback* I don't want- I don't wanna die! You know just realized as well - you've got a monobrow. Why? We gotta find Magnus so... Yeah, excellent deflection *Ghast sound?* *Gasping and screaming* *Explosion* AH! Help me! PLEASE HELP ME! Nah, you're alright mate. *Screaming* Hurry, do something! Let's see what I got, I got a sword and a bow Hmm.. Tough choice. Let's go for a dictionary. (lol 69) Were you watching, Reuben? Are you impressed? Don't? No. Kiss? (tf?) I got the minecart, BTW. No one cares. Okay... You wanna go in first? I liked it when you went in first last time. That what she said, and your dad said, and my mom all in the same orgy. *awkward silence* Basically, yes I'll do it. Jesus. Oh God! I am falling! I am falling. This is why you're my best friend. *Pig noise* Okay, well everything is on fire. There is TNT everywhere. This is literally a battlefield. {No shit, Sherlock.} *Explosion* BOOM! Explosions! *Laughing* That's my second character trait. ALLAHUAKBARR!!!! *SUICIDE* Was that the equivalent of a minecraft suicide bomber right there?! Eat chicken! What's wrong with using a gun? *Gunshots* See? Way more effective. Hey look, it's a cactus. You don't see those back home. I'd take it as a souvenir but I don't wanna stick in my pants. (WTF) Fucking what? (Exactly.) Just kidding. *Pain* It hurts so good! {WHY?!} I'm gonna blow you up, girl! Explsions are funny! *Nuke explodes* *Reuben squeals in fear* This place is the best! What do you mean?? This place is filled with death and destruction and suicide! At least they die doing what they love. *Facepalm* You've just justified every murder in existence. Does that mean I'm cool now? No. *Cries* Well, this looks important. Yep. Definitely important. I've got a feeling that if I hold this up for no reason, it might show us where Mr. Boom Boom is. I was right. Move more to the left. No, not your left, my left. My right. M-My left *Fake crowd laughing* Thank you, thank you. I'll be here 'till Thursday. Looks like that spire is where we'll find Mr. Boom Boom. You know what? I probably shouldn't be holding this - - really important object in the open like this for everybody to see. I'm going to rob you. Great. What's going on? (What?) PARDON!? (still can't hear a thing) I can't, I can't hear you! We're gonna rob you! Great, that's all I needed to know. *Yoink?* Damn, my poor gripping abillity! Well, that was easy. HEY, GIVE THAT BACK U LITTLE SKANK! Oh, mighty man take my OFFRIIINGGuh... (that's-your-cue!) AAAAAUGH U ASSHOLE!!! O mi gawd THEY WERE WORKING TOGETHER! WUAAAHT!? *sarcasm* That's how we do it in BOOM TOWN! What, completely miss your target and deform your partner's face? *Pig screaming (Again)* I'll get the fisherman, you get the little skanky BITCH. YES MASTER. Never say that again. THINK FAST!!! Your training is coming along ni-- GUAAAKK!!! (with PAINFUL CHOKEILING) Oh for god's sake. URGHH!!! *grunting* Worth it... Who's the SKANK now, huh? *pig sqeal or scream or whatever horror that is* So not worth it. *grunting* Hey, have you seen the skanky chick? Yes, she's right there, YOU MORON! EY! STOP RIGHT DERE! How about... No? *Fake crowd laughing* Ha ha ha! GIVE ME BACK MY LIL GLOWEE THING!!! Convenient obsidian for PLOT PURPOSES™! God dammit! She used convenient obsidian for PLOT PURPOSES™. Look, I'm sorry guys, but I've been trying to-- (gunshots) AUURRGGHHAH! Seriously why don't they use guns down here? (cuz telltale said so) Oh, I missed you, glowee, precious, thing. JESSE YOU'RE SORROUNDED BY GRIEFERZ!!! PASS ME THE AMULET!!! Yah, I'd rather DIE than give you anything. *actually* You know what? Just take it, I can't be asked to carry it around all day. YAAAAY I'M USEFUL! :D {YOU WILL REGRET SAYING THAT!} Get him guyeez! Are you sure you want to do this guys??? Oh, we wanna DO THIS! OK, atleast you gave me an option. OMIGAWD *WORST FUCKING PAIN IMAGINABLE* You... you're a monster! {NO FUCKING SHIT, SHERLOCK!} Hey, it was self-defense. (srsly?) *BLAUUUGHH* Hey, you're alive! You got the glowee thing? Of course, I've been keeping it SAFE. *sniffs his own ass* You know what, I misjudged you, Axel. I doubted you, but now I see I was wrong. I really thought you would've eaten it by now. STAWP CAWLING ME-- *Screaming* Of course it would land right there. I've just blocked your path with TNT that you can't climb over. We definetly CAN climb over. You two are the worst griefers I've ever met. But wer nawt greiferz. :( You guys are just TERRIBLE greifers. Yah, but we're not grieferz so what your saying right now means nothing to me. :( You guys are PATHETIC GREIFERZ. LOOK DA BOYEE BAND NEEDZ U BACK ALRIGHT!? They need a bassist, your the bassist, you make a lot of money so just COME BACK WITH US! >:( That, and the world will be destroyed if you don't come back with us. AXEL! You can't tell him that, nobody motivation in life would be to "save the world." (Wait, really?) *Forget it* Look, Guy With A Sword wanted you to come back with us, he's got very sensitive fingers he can't use the bass very well. So we need you to come back with us. :( Give me one good reason why I should rejoin the band. Cuz if you don't we'll just replace you with a gurl instead. >:) A GURL!? I hate girls. [Sexism] Fine, I'm sold, I'm in. [Dramatic Explosion] *You call that dramatic?* Let's go then. I can't. Of course it wouldn't have been THAT simple. I'm like the BATMAN of greifers. (Unless we get a new king). So I *suggest* we fight each other in a greifer match. I'll throw the match, you win and be the king. Then you'll play bass? :( Uh huh. Why such a pointless elaborate plan? JUST WALK OUT Stop being a baby! I CANT DON'T MESS WITH THE RULES MAN! oh my GOWD Kill me :( Welcome Ladies AND Gentlemen to this pointless part of the story Alright so how do you want to fake this?! Might not be a good idea to yell that out loud! Like did you just heard that? Yeah I heard that See, she JUST heard that. Did you just hear that?! YEAH Why don't you just GRAZE him with TNT? That's actually not a bad idea. I can't WAIT to see DEATH!!! ooookay let's do this We have Mr Boom Boom versus... GRREEEEEEEEEASE!!! Wait what?! I took the liberty of naming our team name. (BLAH BLAH BLAH) letsgo Alright, just graze him with the TNT ugh -_- Axel! What are you doing on that side?! ya supozt to be MY cheerleader (dafuq) I WANNA GET A GOOD VIEW OF WHEN HIS BRAINS SPLATTERS!! *oh itll b so hawt* IT'S ALL FAKE REMEMBER!! KEEP UR VOICE DOWN U MORON!!! well lets do this. *screams* *old lady in distress* (Audience Laughs) YOU GRIEF WITH ME YOUR GRIEFIN WITH.... OH!!! im angry now I'm not gonna throw a match anymore! EAT TNT!!! EH WOAH WOAH !! THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE DEAL!! hahahaha im evil now 4 no reason HAHAHHAHAHAHA! Hold on, Jesse I got you a pie! *splatter* mm... actually pretty good I got you a bow f- I mean an arrow ---- Just take this (This is it) (Use this bow and arrow to shoot that TNT.) (Blow up his fort) (Knock him down) (ITS DO OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) *screams* (O0O) oh shit uhhh... GREASE IS THE WINNER!!!!!!! Yeah that's right BOW!! PEASENTS!! BOW!! no srsly bow that's it, bow thank you I like that 'specially you, that's a nice bow Excellent bow uh im not ded btw *Reuben gasps* How? cuz you need for the story later uh fine *O_o* OH GAWD ITS THE BIG FACE EATY THING! LETS RUN LIEK KOWARDZ!! yeah leave everybody else to die jeez that's cold what, there's no blood or anything fair enough Somebody went a bit overboard with the defenses here, huh? "overboard" is an interesting way of putting it AAAHHH oh gawd its a creeper lets all stand here for no reason while we get rescued "heroically" (ded) right on cue Jesse? Is that you? Yeah who are you again? I'm that guy you stabbed a bunch of times in the face with an axe [Flashback] *a couple of deaths* Oh yeah.. I don't like you. Fantastic! Btw, you'll never guess who came back while you were gone. Michael Jackson? *epic sarcasm mate* Mm, close enough. Hey guys, how's it going? *reuben noise* Ugh! This is so uncomfortable. And it's good to see you too, Jesse. (awkward hug) So awkward... The wither skull left so much destruction, nothing was left behind. Alright, pipe down Negative Nancy. Jeez. Even Guy With A Sword died... Who was that again? It was a guy with a sword. Oh, that guy, yeah. What is she doing here? I hate vaginas! While you were gone, Olivia got this chick for the band. She plays drums. You know what, I recognize that chick from pornhub. Ellegaard the redstone rucarky expert. Well if your such a big fan, why don't you go hang out with her then? Well yeah, no shit, that was the plan. Cursed vaginas! >:( Why hello there. Who are you? Why did you bring that douchebag with you? Well, I mean can't exactly leave myself behind, can I? *extremely awkward laughter* Who cares? Ellegaard 's made me her protege! Oh, yeah? what's your first lesson? Double anal? No, triple! Duh! She might've embarrassed herself a little bit. Cool? Yeah, it was pretty difficult. *some more awkward laughter* This is really interesting. And here I was not wanting to kill myself! Your still a prick. Ow, my feelings hurt. Oh no! Your stupid! Your Stupid! As much as I'm enjoying this really forced rivalry, and as argumental, and what's it's tensic, CAN WE MOVE THE PLOT FORWARD, PLEASE?! Yeah, actually there is about 20 more minutes of this. Skip! *arguments, krusty krab, reuben* So here we are, Soren's castle/mansion thing. We go in here, find the F bomb, (Which is the big bomb that'll kill the final boss) Grade A exposition man. Thanks. I tried. Hey, Olivia? Yeah. You know what to do. Whoa whoa, what are you doing? No, no, the montage button. Oh, heh, that's embarrassing. MONTAGE! WE GOTTA MONTAGE! WE LOVE TO MONTAGE! YOU NEED TO MONTAGE! CUDDLE THE MONTAGE! INVITING BREAKFAST! HOLDING TIGHTLY! HAVING BABIES! MONTAGE! *fades 5 times* Jesse, can I talk to you alone real quick? If it's the talk to me why you've been depressed recently, then don't worry, I know why. You do? Yeah, your preggers, right? No!! Actually, maybe, I haven't gotten tested in a while. But that's not it. If I tell you this will you not judge me? Of course, I wouldn't judge you. I have minecraft AIDS. 0_o Look. EW! Get away from me! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T JUDGE ME! o_o Oh dear- BLAH!! *coughs* Serves you right. Walking, walking, walking, walking, walking... I hear walking. Ah, it's you. How's it going, Squidward? How's your clarinet doing? *EPIC ROAST M8* *you have to make a spongebob referance, DIDN'T U?!!* Pretty good, actually. Now out of my way. Your not going anywhere. Hey, be careful, Ivor. She has minecraft AIDS, man. AH, get away from me! Oh, yeah. I got a sword now, too. I guess it comes down to this. *a double sword? THATS NOT FAIR, MAN!* *AN EPIC DUEL* Ok, now I'm bored with this now. CHEAP POTIONS! *drinks until he's superman* *flys* Oh, cool, a penny. OW, MY AIDS! *DUELS AGAIN* You know I'm behind you, right? I can just leave, though. Ah, screw it. *drinks until he's a ghost* Now, I'm invisible! *voy spoops T_T* WOOOOOOOO!!!! SPOOOOOOKKKYYY!!!! Eat this! AGH!!! Petra and Jesse! Food! One last cheap potion! Where are you getting these?! This is a slow motion potion! *Ivor swears off, into the distance* IVOR, YOU FUCKING DOUCHE!!! You think you could mock me?! I'll make you all pay! OW! *nose pain* *very slow laughter* (Next time on minecraft boring mode) *slow moan* PLEASE KILL ME! Hey guys, I'm Rick. And I'm James. And thanks for watching another one of our videos! We've got a whole bunch more minecraft story mode. Coming up! And we're going to release those bad boys! Every other week! Am I right lad? Or am I right lad? Oh ho, You're right lad. Alright! And we're going to have a new channel. It''s a behind the scenes channel, where we'll have comedy sketches, We'll have behind the scenes videos, where you get to see what we do, how we do it. I mean everyone involved. We'll have strippers, we'll have cocaine- Well, we aren't gonna do that- we're not doing that part. Oh, ok. But- BUT, there's going to be a new link to the new channel, somewhere in the end video, and in the description below. The next episode of minecraft is gonna be in 2 week's. So be here to check it out. And we also got something coming out next week. Like always, we'll be there, and we'll see you next week! Hey guys, one last thing, don't forget to check out ebonus.gg. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for our sponsors and its kinda cool to get free stuff. So, uh, check'em out. *MONTAGE song plays* *finished subtitles by wizaking*
