MICHAEL'S BEST MEETINGS | The Office | Comedy Bites

all right everybody in the conference room i don't care if you are gay or straight or lesbian or overweight just get in here right now the fundamentals of business the fundamentals of business mental is a part of the word i have underlined it because your mental if you don't have a good time you have to enjoy it you know the the fun is in it get out i know yes so welcome help yourself um you might want these orientation materials wrong toby this is an orientation not a orientation okay do not worry all of your questions are about to be answered cell phones and pagers off please oh this looks promising you won't be disappointed let's face it moving to a new job can be very stressful so i have made an orientation video especially for you newcomers but it's not like any orientation video that any of you have ever seen it's funny it's got a little bit of a zing to it and i hope that it gives you a flavor of what we're all about here at dunder mifflin and what we're all about here in scranton so let's just all laugh together and watch lazy scranton sitting in my office with a plate of grilled faker call a man quiet just to see what we're shaking your mic our town is dope and pretty so check out how we live in the electric city they call it grid what the electric city script what the electric city called poison control if you're bit by a spider but check that it's covered by your healthcare provider it reminds me of the orientation video michael showed on my first day the scranton witch project i am so scared when people don't label their personal food you like coal mines and you wanna see him we'll check it out yo the anthracite museum plenty of space in the parking lot but the little cars go when the compact spot spot spot spot well so far i think it is killing i thought it would either be an a or an a plus but i completely forgot that there is an a plus plus i don't think i can work here any longer this has been the worst most backwards day of my life you misunderstood okay all right you know what okay okay i uh i'm gonna put my money where my mouth is you ready what are you i am going to embrace oscar you might want to watch this angela because you can't catch anything here we go now we are going to make a statement you and i are going to make a statement together oscar is my friend i'd rather not and i just don't care who sees it i doesn't bother me really would i really rather not no no i don't want to touch you ever considered that you're ignorant and insulting and small okay hmm all right um i'm sorry michael i'm sorry that was a good idea come on come on all right i'm sorry i called you shaggy i know you're not [ __ ] i know you are you're a good guy you too michael appears to be gay too and yet he is my friend i guess i do have a gay friend you know what i'm gonna raise the stakes you don't well i want you to watch this and i want you to burn this into your brains because this is an image man i want you people to remember for a long time to come whenever you come into the office i want you to think about this we don't need to yes we do what oh i did it thank you thank you thank you see i'm still here we're all still here oh come on dwight come on man there has been a lot of name calling against our office today corporate maligning slurring much of it coming from one of you who claims that prison is better than here and none of us can say boo because none of us have ever been to prison well there's somebody i'd like you to meet somebody else who has been to prison who can tell you what it is really like i'm prison mike you know why they call me prison mike do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall [ __ ] oh my gosh all right hey hey hey that's just the way we talk in the clink but a lot of fun talk about prison today but i am here to scare you straight i am in this gay astronaut in prison you are somebody's [ __ ] oh and you you my friend would be the belle of the ball don't drop the soap don't drop the soap michael please where did you learn all of this internet so not prison and prison at 50 50. boat look prison stinks is what i'm saying it's not like you can go home and recharge your batteries and come back in the morning and be with your friends having fun in the office what'd you do prison mike i stole and i robbed and i kidnapped the president's son and held him for ransom that is quite the rap sheet prison mike and i never got caught neither well you you're in prison but prison mike what was the food like in prison gruel sandwiches gruel omelets nothing but gruel plus you can eat your own hair wow prison sounds horrible yeah yeah well thank you andy thanks president mike what's the very very worst thing about prison don't encourage him dwight the worst thing about prison was that was the dementors they were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they come down and they suck the soul out of your body and at height dementors like in harry potter no not harry potter there are no movies in prison this is my point you guys got it soft and cushy this place is freaking awesome the people are awesome your boss is nice everybody seems to get along people are tolerant people who have jumped to conclusions can redeem themselves nobody's nobody's [ __ ] i hope that this scared you and from me prison mike to you i just want to thank you for listening to me and letting me be a part of your life today cause you got a good life you got a good life a good life we are going to make a do not mock list okay anything that we think might be out of bounds we put on this list anything you put on this list you cannot be teased about got it i'm gonna kick it off let's see what i have to put on the list right okay i also have fallen into the fountain at the steamtown mall okay who else who else dwight come on i don't want people making fun of my nose your nose it's too small all right oh my that is small just write it down please can you breathe okay what keeps your glasses on hey it's on the list everybody no i haven't finished writing did you sneeze it off that's it no more okay who else who else everybody get their chances i don't want people making fun of my weight okay that's too broad it's got to be something else how about your stomach yum you heard it i don't want to say it out loud okay fine come on up here write it yourself and don't sign your name to it and nobody look everybody look away look away well i really didn't want to put it on the board but i thought maybe it was gonna come out somehow so what are you gonna do okay you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,463,295

Keywords: NBC, The Office US, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Michael Scott, Ron Swanson, Liz Lemon, Jake Peralta, Steve Carell, Nick Offerman, Andy Samberg, Tina Fey, michael scott no god no, michael scott into the unknown, michael scott leaves the office, the office meeting scene, the office meeting of the five families, the office meeting recording

Id: LvlEWU4JwkA

Length: 9min 56sec (596 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 28 2020