michael che moments that make me forget the world is ending

this week marks the start of okay but what about a white history month that speech sucked first of all he didn't even say hi he just started talking like we was already talking i found that to be rude me when i'm talking to you i sacrificed everything for this family you want a medal [ __ ] i want some respect hey oh boy a 102 year old woman from new york who survived the 1918 spanish flu has now beat coronavirus twice but sadly she was no match for my car look oh man look at all these white girls crying they look like dave natalie just played crash into me what are you what you so sad about you're gonna be fine what do you think is going to happen if bernie sanders doesn't get to be president you still get to be white what do you think if the mexicans leave they're going to take the tacos with them it's fine white girls you get to keep your tacos it's chase promise white girls keep their tacos my platform it's the one thing i know in like two months and i'm just now hearing about this it's kind of embarrassing i feel like i should care more about africa kind of like when you run into an old friend and ask hey how's your kid and she's like che he's your son too oh wait hold on where are your kids right now okay check you out now you want to be worried about our kids our kids yeah yeah cj cj has time to look just like you who is cj k junior wait a minute so his name is che junior che yes then he said he's going to stop half the crime and 90 of the heroine with something called slacks which as you can see is a wall without all the walls hear that mexico good luck trying to crack this code what are you gonna do pass your drugs and small children through those giant slats imagine i don't like that i should fire him and you're just admitting that but that's obstruction of justice sure okay wait so did i get him is this all over oh no i didn't nothing matters absolutely nothing matters anymore can i be honest when someone asked me did you hear what donald trump called haiti in africa i was like oh boy did it start with an end but then i heard what he said and i was like that's it i've said that about countries for not having a cvs what do i think honestly i think that um that maybe i was meant to be here tonight because i was meant to meet you that is not actually why we brought you here it's just that and i think you go first you're the only one going imagine you're a coast guard or tsa or any of the thousands of government workers that are actually stopping drugs and crime from getting into this country and you haven't been paid in a month and the president gets on tv doesn't say sorry doesn't even say hi but instead he's like hey what y'all think about slats okay mr trump two more minutes the thing about the blacks is that they're killing each other [Music] announce that country music star morgan wallin had his recording contract suspended after a video surfaced of the singer using the n-word hmm wonder who he learned that from [Applause] okay i met you 70 seconds ago okay well well if i don't leave now i'll miss my flight and you'll lose me forever well then you better go see beginning next week new yorkers will have to provide documentation of their condition and answer medical questions like what's the matter you uh nah man you are you cool well anyway you're so dope update's amazing and you and jost are the perfect team thanks man i appreciate that do you like me what um yeah sure you do oh right thanks jay the number of people storming the capital didn't actually vote in the election huh so maybe they weren't the savvy political geniuses we all thought they were it's doing to her face that's a solid advisor to new york governor andrew cuomo has accused him of sexually harassing her for years making him the odds on favorite for the 2024 nomination you're gonna like you're not gonna like the rest of these cuomo denies the allegations claiming that he would never be inappropriate to any broad with friggin dynamite bazoomba's all the time take a look i made a video i'm michael chase then on the florida republican national convention playing america's hottest new mobile app where you got to catch the rarest creature of them all minorities at the rnc it's called trumpy [ __ ] so as trump would always say let's round up some brown people am i the only one still terrified by this i remember when tom hanks got it like five years ago six months ago and we've all sat there teary eyed thinking we might lose forrest gump now a whole football team gets sick and they just move the game i don't know where i'm going with this it's been a really weird week and i really really thought the president was gonna die a lot of poor people could lose their coverage conservatives are upset because it doesn't repeal obamacare enough and i'm upset because it still doesn't cover medicinal cocaine and i got a screenplay to finish i spent the money you slave a slave you don't hire a slave what would that job interview even be hey we're looking for somebody long term where do you see yourself in 400 years yeah congratulations you're hired phil uh my name is uh mustafa anymore doctors in china removed more than 120 magnetic beads swallowed by a five-year-old boy wow wait till his boss at the factory hears about this james carter good evening mr trump oh no my question is do you believe you can be a devoted president to all the people that is a great question denzel thank you for this question about the inner cities my name is james and i didn't ask anything about no inner cities the inner cities are rare minorities around um i mean you know not obvious stuff i caught a couple of black ones but you don't i've seen some i guess hawaiians did you see any rare minorities wants to keep their trumpy minds to themselves but i'ma catch them i hate to crack that whip but you got to get to work on that oval office if you get hungry there's a sandwich in the trash meanwhile white girls are crying because they think they're running out of tacos is that what white girls think do they think they're gonna have to build a white house yeah it's called the white house is that why they're crying so much now reminder to all the women that told me i need to grow up beyonce is married to a 50 year old weed guy so god ain't done with me yet

Channel: ADV

Views: 203,714

Rating: 4.880291 out of 5

Keywords: snl, saturday night live, weekend update, colin jost, compilation

Id: sVJQJLBnIFg

Length: 8min 4sec (484 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 29 2021