We Ran Out of Time: The Matt Damon Story

David Krumholtz his show is called numbers Friday nights at 10:00 on CBS sincere apologies to Matt Damon we ran out of time for him tonight we'll get him on the air again soon apologies and Matt Damon we ran out of time Matt Damon apologies we ran out of time Matt Damon apologies ran out of time apologies the Matt Damon ran at a time apologies to Matt Damon we ran out of time the Matt Damon I'm sorry we ran out of time apologies the Matt Damon ran out of titles apologies the Matt Damon he had a baby today so it really was the wrong thing to do to bump him but we had to apologies the Matt Damon ran out of time unfortunately we are totally out of time [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we ran out of time we ran out of time oh that's pretty funny that's pretty funny but tonight you didn't run out of time for me did you Jimmy no no I ran out of time for you what's that Jimmy is there a new host in town and his initials are M D that's right the doctor is in I want to leave you gentlemen with a parting thought from my favorite book self matters by dr. Philip McGraw dr. Phil teaches us that when the rooster sorry [Applause] [Laughter] well I tell you what I've enjoyed talking ads I really appreciate everybody coming and and the movies great and you should be very proud of it and I mean what what what what I mean you know I'm looking at me like that what were you talking about it finally get on the show you ask me a question fine I'll ask you a question what's your problem how's that what if you work with a lot of directors right I would most of I wouldn't say dislike you but you're not friendly and they're not friends like what is it like to work under a director who is your friend like George Clooney okay so that's a real quick [Music] they get over face not a real fire come on man can I help you what do you want just calm down man I missed the last category if you win you know we win all right that's a bummer the Emmy for the route that makes a lot of sense but it's you must be really bummed out yeah I'm a little disappointed thank you so you're not you're not gonna get a trophy no I don't get a trophy then are you finished Don wait who did get a trophy who won John Oliver is just that what do you mean yes yes they know I knew I had him in my pool you mind if I continue with the show no I mean I'm sorry but what am i doing I'm see this is so humiliating I'm sorry I mean you lost it now you got a stand out here for the rest of the night we've got everybody that's really know I mean when you probably just want to go home and curl up and cry but let's say can we cheer Jimmy up how about he's a big loser please say hello to dr. Phil [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] I'll tell you what Jimmy a squirrel in the top hat is like a donkey in a dress you can take it to the prom but if you try to make it wear lipstick you gonna get kicked go on take take you see if it walks like a turkey and and talks like a turkey you could put sunglasses on it put it right on the horn frog and call it a unicorn but that don't mean you're gonna get a bingo am i right what are you doing what is it what are you doing oh don't make a pig out of a peanut Jimmy seriously what what are you doing here what are you doing here what do you mean me what are you doing what is this outfit why you dress like this where's dr. Phil I'm supposed to be dr. Phil and but you said that that I could be on the show today when we were in therapy please come on in thank you so what are you hoping to get out of today how can I help you guys he promised me over a decade ago that I was going to be able to be a guest on the show for a decade you've been waiting i I've taken over or Jimmy would say he's been nice enough to give me a room where I come and I wait every night every night so for a decade you've been waiting have you ever considered not coming anymore but I'm scheduled to be on the show - now you know I mean he is scheduled it's in the listing it's in the listings it has to come in the listing every night and then if you don't go then you know then then it'd be like I'm big timing Emerson it's in the listing if it's in the listing you don't really have a choice you have to go and what's your perspective on this what do you think I tried to get him on the show I mean we have a one-hour show every night okay we have other guests which he doesn't care about obviously I have a monologue for you we have a band sometimes we have important commercials to run and it's it's hard to eat I you know listen I understand his point of view but he has to understand my point is well what do you think his point of view is he thinks the world revolves around him he thinks he's the only celebrity in California I mean it's you think those being unreasonable yeah I do what is going on what do you got a monkey under there or something what's happening here this minis going on here it's moving I'm not touching you No no father I think this may be time to bury the hatchet here who would you get to decide when it's time to bury the hatchet you know what he's done to me I think as a mutual friend it's time to you know this is not about you this is about well there is no us it's not about us not how to see come on oh don't have a seat [Applause] it's not a guest but there's a lot of guests regner this is a lot of gossip here that's amazing lonna Jessica you might be good about I don't feel good about it this is the guest year that's not the guest chair that's a spare chair in case anything happens to this guest you're ruining the Oscar show nobody wants you here well I smile with audiences turned on me I don't want to ruin the mood I am beside myself with rage right now can you see me how much I'm shaking look at this look at my hand I'm very angry because Matt Damon do you know who that is I didn't ask for a shouts of joy anyway he has a Matt Damon as a new Jason Bourne movie coming out tomorrow I have no plans to see it I don't know anybody that wants to see it but he's going around trying to convince people to waste money on it and this is what happened last night when he was on The Tonight Show I read everything bad - I've I've seen you on talk shows you've been on like Jimmy Kimmel I've seen that no no no that's right I haven't maybe one day by the way you called me one invite boom here that's it made it on the show yeah [Applause] really that's how you host a talk show when I have some very bad news for you Matt you're not getting on the show tonight again either [Applause] sorry dummy we can't hear anything you say me that sit there all night long for all I care hi hi there hi I'm Paul hi Paul are you come on in join us hello Jimmy hi so you two obviously know each other we're off is that more comfortable for you just this way yeah I just like to have like a thing he beat me up last time I didn't beat you up I mean it was an awkward he beat me up he did it alright so what actually brought the two of you here now if it ended so poorly last time how did you end up getting here today well there's a story there it's court-ordered its court order because I live in Jimmy's place of work and can I just say right there he doesn't live at my place where I live comes to my place live there and say he's stalking it's technically it's not if you're invited the judge was very clear about that if you just stopped inviting me then maybe I wouldn't come but you invite me every day you say I'm gonna be on the show and I've never been on the show okay so I took matters into my own hands is it possible that we can just really clarify what specifically you want to accomplish today ideally and what would you want to get out of this I would like to be on the show okay and he's probably gonna bring up the Oscar special but there's a story there too okay that it there is a story there's a story there I was nominated for an Academy Award okay no that's I wasn't up to categories and so there are nominees now nothing could ruin this moment this isn't very special really is so sweet we can't wait you what are you doing here what is he doing this what is this you didn't tell him tell me what I'm the father father oh no you're not you were that would mean you have that huh what does you promised me you were gonna stop my girlfriend thank you she's not your girlfriend she's my wife that's worse that's actually worse Marly hey this is between you guys I really don't want to get in the middle is about a difference of course that your visits couldn't be more of your business it's not our business it's not you know what we should do you just let why we let the baby decide let's just leave it decide what look hello baby we don't know if you're a boy or a girl but you have a choice of daddies and make one daddy could be a Emmy loser Emmy nominee same thing other daddy could be an Oscar winner and Oscar do you want to play with that it was a weak year baby who made out with Liberace okay wait yeah yeah I think what's going on in here who are you I'm her doctor oh I'm sorry doctor not his father he's saying he's the father of there's a very simple way to settle this just do a test I'll do a test I'll do a test today on an all-new Maury Jimmy is the married to Molly for four years but Jimmy's mortal enemy Matt Damon thinks he's the father of Molly's unborn baby I'm the father Jimmy the truth will set you free because another outrageous is about to begin everyone welcome Molly means that he's the father of Molly's baby but Matt says he's a baby daddy so does the hoax let's take a look Maury there's no way that Jimmy is the father of Molly's baby he doesn't even have it Matt is the father of Molly's baby I will sue him I will sue Molly I was so Maury I'll sue the baby how does soup moving and find out the results of the paternity test is that why you wanted my fee no no that for something else so when it comes to Molly's babies you are not [Applause] I can't believe we had that much sex and we didn't get pregnant fine and tonight in the spirit of healing and bringing people together I would like to bury the hatchet with someone I've had issues with what Matt Damon now Matt I've known Matt for a long time now you know what I've known Matt so long when I first met Matt I was the fat one true and we've had problems he's a selfish person those of you worked with him know this her mark to come along with you to this because this is like work for mark oh yeah we're really we're close and I'm actually let me talk to Tyco just get the camera away from that side director take its height tiger Thank You Jimmy this is a real dream come true to sit in the green room and the peckish oh no wait I'm sorry about the interruption there but I just didn't want to say that okay it's the mighty Corps not the mighty bore so maybe take a walk I'm so sorry he's not supposed to go into the guest rooms he has his own area that he's supposed to stand yeah great making this movie we had a lot of fun it was only 16 hours away from my house yes good tiger is there a rivalry between people from New Zealand as you are and people from Australia yeah sadly there is it's it's been it's been going for thousands of years but you know what this is getting ridiculous on the show I'm on the shows does not count as being on the same this is what memory actors look like right here Adam Carolla's coattails okay ourselves okay enough already with that yeah he's a pine they're cool I'm on the show how does that even work huh I hacked into the system oh yeah mr. malson I've been here for a really long time Jimmy decades yes I learned a lot of stuff go backstage and eat the duty potatoes that we made for you okay yeah all right no you know what cut up the screen saver whatever the emergency screen saver okay what are you - I've got the kid go take care of security okay thank you very much worse I'm so sorry Chris hello I'm Jimmy Kimmel the reason I'm here with that is to raise money for next for autism an organization that works to improve the lives of people living with autism spectrum disorder he's here for publicity that's book your book I'm here because I care about what about people oh now he cares about people guess what I'm a people you never seem to care about me okay I don't just jumped I'm not doing this now okay I'm not gonna do this with him I just oh he's throwing once Wow should I call the wambulance to just stop crying man I thought you cared about raising money for people I do care about that but I'm not gonna sit here and be peppered by spoons by you you are heard what have you said pepper you asked for pepper okay can I be done with this place I'll come on and I please be doing this believable just you're such a beauty throwing pepper at me really really oh so so just abandon the whole plan don't raise money for anybody because Jimmy got a little pepper on his food I don't have any just calm down Matt Damon there's nothing worse than paying a lot of money for tickets and having to sit next to an obnoxious jerk the whole game and that is the last time I ever use Groupon again he's so you know he eats other people's unfinished food off the floor like a rodent half of the game he's down on his hands and knees eating garbage like see you later

Channel: Jason Lange

Views: 484,092

Rating: 4.875957 out of 5

Keywords: Jimmy Kimmel, Matt Damon, We ran out of time, Apologies to Matt Damon, Apologies to Matt Damon we ran out of time, Jimmy Kimmel Live

Id: UStzR4fUblU

Length: 21min 14sec (1274 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 14 2018