-One of my favorite
things, of course, is sketches that are written
that do not make it to the show, -Oh, yeah.
-And some of these ideas maybe have not even been written.
-Yeah, that's true. -Do you have some favorites?
-Even the ones that have been written haven't really been
written. They've been like really,
half thought out. -What is
the Rosetta Stone sketch? -This was when Donald Trump
hosted. I pitched him an idea that he
weirdly didn't want to do, where he was the spokesman
for Rosetta Stone Mexican. [ Laughter ] So he would teach you phrases
you could say to someone who was Mexican, like,
"You're gonna build the wall." -Oh, I see.
-No -- no, usted are. You know, whatever.
-Usted are. -What was heroin A.M.?
-[ Laughs ] -That was non-drowsy heroin. [ Laughter ] It was from the makers
of cocaine P.M. [ Laughter ] And it was a sketch that was not
popular in middle America. -Some sketches are just good
ideas and it's not even funny. -Yeah, that's a great product.
-That's just a good product. -Yeah.
-You want to take heroin, but you also want to get some
stuff done. -What was -- was it your idea
the origin of screw the pooch? -Yeah. I wanted to do a sketch
about the first guy to ever say the phrase "screwed the pooch"
because an intern one time messed up a coffee order, and I was like,
"hey, I didn't order this." And he goes, "I'm sorry
about that, Che. I really screwed the pooch
on that one." And I said, "what was that?"
[ Laughter ] And he goes,
"screwed the pooch. It means I made a mistake."
And I was like "no, man, it means, you had sex
with a dog." [ Laughter ] "And you should probably stop
saying that in a workplace environment."
So I wanted to just dig into that guy, because I'm sure
he probably had sex with a dog one time and just kept
pretending that it was a mistake that everybody else
makes. -Yeah, that's like the coffee
thing. We all make mistakes. -Oh, you messed up the coffee?
Now who has sex with dogs? Still you, Gary! You're still
the only one that's done that. -Half Viagra?
-Oh, yeah. That's a fun one. -Well, we kept seeing
these ads -- I don't know if you've seen them --
for single packs of Viagra. Where it's like a weird husband,
and it's, like, "we're going on a trip with my wife"
and he's like, "oh, we'll pack one single
pack of Viagra." He's like, "I want to have sex, but I don't want to carry
the whole bottle." -[ Laughs ] Right.
-You know, so on vacation, you can be like,
"you get one shot." But we wanted to do ads
for half-packs of Viagra. And if you didn't want to have
sex, you just wanted to make it look a little bigger.
[ Laughter ] Like if you knew you were
going somewhere, like you had a doctor's
appointment, you know? -Or like a tailor or something.
You know -- You wanna...Got to use like,
a stadium urinal. You want people to be...
[ Laughter ] -Yeah. -You know?
-Yeah. Whatever. I still say we should
have called it Viagra al dente. [ Laughter ] -First black guy to boo
Jackie Robinson? [ Laughter ]
-Right. First of all, it was February, and I wanted
a black history sketch. -Yep.
-And I was like, "who was the first black guy to
boo Jackie Robinson for a baseball play?"
There had to be one. I mean, he -- I'm sure
he had an error before. -Uh-huh.
-Yeah. Censor said no. -Really?
-Yeah, my favorite sketches are, like, really racially charged.
-Yeah. -Like Chris Hemsworth hosted,
and I wanted to do a sketch where the Avengers save the day,
but in the process, Thor accidentally kills
an unarmed black teenager. [ Laughter ] -He didn't think that was
on brand? -Yeah, he said it wouldn't
help with tickets. [ Laughter ] -I think it would've
helped with tickets. -I thought it would help
with tickets, too. -You had a -- Was it
a CVS game show sketch? -A game show that was set inside
of a CVS that was called "Who Works Here?" [ Laughter ]
-That's a good one. -Contestants had to buzz in
and try and decide is that you know, an employee,
or a drifter in a red vest? [ Laughter ] -And then, this one you guys
should've done. Cecilia Gimenez was a character
that Kate McKinnon played. -Mm-hmm.
-Yes. -And for the actual news story
when she first played him, there was a painting
of Jesus, right? -Yeah.
-...that someone repainted... -Yeah.
-And then, like, to retouch it, and then it looked like
a howler monkey. -Basically.
-It was, like, the worst repainting job of all time.
-Yeah. And then we did one I think
where she did that Cristiano Ronaldo statue
that was in segment two. -Yeah.
-Or the Lucy one -- it was like a Lucille Ball where she looked
like the snake character from "Beetlejuice."
[ Laughter ] And this, someone talked about
'cause they saw -- I don't know if you guys saw
the animatronic Trump at Disney World or something...
-Frightening. -...where she was the one who
designed that. It basically looked like
a way worse Jon Voight. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. Melty Voight. So what is the pressure like?
Obviously, every week on "SNL," there is a certain amount
of pressure. You guys have one
of the all-time greats, Will Ferrell, this week.
-Yeah. Some would say, oh, my God,
cruise control, but you have to feel pressure.
-Yeah. You do, you feel a lot of pressure 'cause everyone
already knows he's good. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. So if it's not good,
it's our fault. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] We're the ones that's
the problem, so, yeah, it's a lot of pressure. Hopefully Will can step up
to it. [ Laughter ] Carry us through
with a cowbell, too. -Well, I especially am grateful
you guys came here tonight because pretty much you're gonna
leave here and you're gonna go right upstairs...
-Yeah. -...and write through the night.
I can't wait for Saturday. It's always such a pleasure
to see both of you. -Thank you for having us.
-And "Update" has been so fantastic this year.
Keep up the great work. -Ah, thank you, man. -Congratulations
on the Globes, too. You were fantastic
hosting the Globes. -Thank you so much.
Really appreciate it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Wonderful. -Jost -- Jost sent me jokes for
the Globes, which was very nice, and like a day before
the Globes, you had an idea. -Oh, yeah.
-It was unproduceable. -Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, I wanted Andy Samberg to play the creature
from "The Shape of Water." [ Laughter ]
And that he was in the audience and he was falling in love
with Seth as the show went on. And the second time you saw him,
he was in a bathtub on stage asking Seth to get in
the bathtub. [ Laughter ] -And it was great 'cause it
was written like someone who had never been in show business.
-Yes. That's how I try to approach
every idea. [ Laughter ]
You had the good sense to do like, good, "smart stuff."
-No, no, no, I -- but I did like the idea of like, just
constantly, like, in the middle of, like,
a speech. Like Oprah giving her speech,
Andy being like, "I need water!"
[ Laughter ] I think that was what
the evening needed. -You definitely should have
booed Oprah. That would've been the best.
[ Laughter ] -Like, what?
-Get Seth back out! [ Laughter ] Thank you guys so much
for being here.
The Thor one would've been pretty funny
“Thor accidentally kills an unarmed black teenager”
The Jackie Robinson one is pretty interesting, actually haha. Love to see how it would’ve played out
The CVS "Who Works Here?" game show and the Heroin AM commercial were actually both aired, and in the same episode too (S41E18, host Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
Who Works Here?
Heroin AM
Damn these are hilarious. Really loving the direction of Weekend Update and SNL in general under these two.
Sometimes I wish SNL could go fully independent, sometimes you can really tell they're held back by the network. They're far from perfect every show but it's some really great satire and comedy.
Seth's Andy Samberg impression at the end is actually spot-on
woah I saw Che do this bit when I visited NYC a few months ago
I can't remember where, but somewhere I heard the terrible joke "Colin Jost? More like Colin Jokes!" and now I can't not think it every time I see his name.
I know I saw some sketch about a quarter chub pill somewhere sometime. I can’t find it anywhere though. Anyone?