Meg Parsont Collection on Letterman, Part 1 of 3: 1990

one of the saddest to see David Letterman vacate his offices at Rockefeller Center is the woman who works in this office directly across 49th Street from his Meg parson who through the miracle of the telephoto lens has been sort of a guest on the show more than 30 times eventually it ends up that he wants me to throw something out of the window or he's bringing over Billy Dee Williams or Miss America one time the Harlem Boys Choir came by and around Christmastime so it's just been all sorts of fun stuff like that [Applause] well thank you I'm telling you I'm excited Friday night and you know what Friday night is to me it's not Friday night I'm sorry it's not pretty not tonight is Thursday night so it's not party No then it doesn't mean it won't be a great show no no it will be a great show it's just not party night but a fabulous fantasy you know I'm dating Ivana Trump you got in there fast well thank you very much how is your call today hey my calls just about gone it fair you know what we're gonna do we we work here in this complex of buildings what do they call it Radio City as across the street and this is a Rockefeller Plaza Rockefeller Center and Rockefeller Center is comprised of how many composed of how many structures 13 14 big beautiful limestone buildings and right across the street on 49th Street I believe is the Simon & Schuster building how can we have a shot of the Simon & Schuster building up there we have a camera up in our offices there's a the outside of our offices we're going into the researchers office right up there and this will give you a shot of the air oh it's it's nightfall here in New York City well the kids have cleaned up haven't they they're home for Spring Break now look at this see now if you can see over there without directly looking into some of those windows I think you can tell that people are still working and it's long past the time they should have been there so we thought tonight what we would do is try and select one of those people an named them office worker of the month now this this this gets a little confusing here because we can't look right into their office because that's a violation of their office rights or something so we have to call over there now I have a number let's see do I have it here do I have a phone number oh here's the phone number right here next to the phone call a little dialing music so we'll call and we'll see if we can't find somebody over there and try and get them to come to the window now and when they come to the window and wave then we'll tell them that their office worker of the month and we'll send somebody over there get the money and we'll bring out gene and Roger okay here we go bye Paul that's beautiful what is that I say Paul that's beautiful there we go this should be Simon and Schuster I saw mr. Schuster earlier today he looks great by the way yeah he's going to work in the building over there there's our first ring now this should be Simon & Schuster right over there they're on the 13th floor of the Simon & Schuster building we'll find out who's working late and we'll put them on the air here and then we'll get him to go so you can see look at the activity of the city this nightfall newly here in the okay this nobody seems to be there and my cold is coming back okay nobody seems to be there let's give it one more call another number oh yeah well call another number don't worry getting getting help from all over now if you see Dave's eyes roll back in his head tell him to call another number okay I got to put that on hold cuz you never know when you might need that number alright so the first number is Chuck Scarborough NBC News Chuck by the way you can go home now all I explained this a thoroughly do you think there's an office building across this that's right so I'm gonna Schuster fella here can't look right in there no you can't look here there would be arrested dragged out of here in cuffs like I haven't been several times already so you're calling somebody hi who is this please my name is Dave Letterman I do a little nickel and dime TV show across the street here right across 49th Street in the big building there what's your name hi Megan can I have your permission to put your voice on the air we're doing a little TV show right now and we'd like to talk to you if we can why it is you're still at late still to work this late can I put your voice on the air Megan then then we'll solve some of these problems later you might win a lovely prize I say you might win a lovely prize we're looking for the office worker of the month look we have a we have a beautiful suit of clothing for you Meg if you could see right there you can't see it but it would be lovely now here's what we need you to do if you give us permission to put your voice on the air then then everything will be fine oh you did say yes [Applause] but if you did you say yes or not okay okay would you what what's what's it going to take to get you to say yes it is me it's me it's Dave Letterman I how can I prove to you that I'm Dave OC so no so you can't see us because we're inside what we what we want you to do what we want you to do is go to the window so we can see you I'm right here and somebody did wave somebody wave well that could be anybody there's 8 million people in this city different people yeah what that doesn't do us a bit of good beg we need you to go to a window where all right what are you wearing I'm okay what floor are you on [Applause] should-should i have to be working this hard should it be this damn hard to call across the street you got 40 - do I need this you're 42 hello hi well I don't think I gave you permission what's in it for me I didn't get a lot of sleep last night hello Meg how are you hello Meg it's me meg congratulations Meg you're our office worker of the month I don't care what you say okay just now you just stay right there Biff Henderson from our staff is coming across the street to get you and we have this lovely prize for you okay oh who cares maybe he'll be hit by a bus then what will happen you stay Meg oh yeah oh honey stay right there okay all right all right we'll get back to you okay there's [Applause] I don't know I think see I think it's my fault I don't think I completely explained the tour and then how jump right in there and lied how she said yes that was concerned she said sure yes did she relate your we have a recording room okay now while we're waiting for a Biff to retriever okay let's do our top ten list tonight hey surprise suit oh my god surprise forgive me my face is so red yeah you know I thought we'd just call over there she'd say sure I'll go to the window and wave and then all of a sudden it becomes complicated the category tonight top 10 new Perrier slogans here we go [Applause] [Music] in all the excitement I forgot to this is the prize for office worker of the month this lovely suit of clothing from a band crops downstairs card in a Meg's case we'll have this converted to something that she could wear this is a man's suit we'll get the female equivalent and it comes with a lovely handkerchief and of course socks so we just stayed at home last night and I said went down to Blimpie's and we watch TV me and Nirvana last night so she's not at not a army or anything a lovely a lovely woman cheap date basically what what is it wordy oh there's Biff right there Thanks look it up proud they are of themselves I think she's having her permission to be on camera no no but they're there they couldn't be more pleased with the fact that they can stand at a window and wave they'll be coming back over and we'll make her the winner thanks Neff can you hear me Biff Biff can't hear any even woody but he's in the studio Biff can't hear me look at all those folks hanging around I don't like to see where they're going our first guests are authors critic sought Sir Roger and jeans who this is I recognize them from the introduction doesn't matter with me [Music] coming up on tonight's program law this is great Todd Rundgren is here we're always happy to have him with us always a treat and should be sounding very nice yeah Paul would you say that tonight's show is going just exactly the way we'd hoped it would go come on great from the audience point of view it's going to rific yeah also from ABC Sports Dan Dierdorf and tomorrow boy you think tonight's show is good tomorrow on the program we have kid inventors from China and also a musical group the roaches also now living in China and the most popular movie star in China Joan Chin's so it's an all all Chinese show tomorrow night Chinese roaches on the program are they here Biff Biff is Biff out there come on in Biff if you have a woman from across the way [Applause] meg parson were you from meg New York City uh-huh and what are you doing for a living over there at Simon and Schuster I'm in the publicity Department of pocketbooks I see do you enjoy that kind of work Pocket Books is those dirty awful cheap things that the women in lingerie and guys with guns on the cover is that what they do some of what they do yeah where did you go to school um high school it's College you pick one make it easy on yourself so make choices Stuyvesant High School Clark University Clark University is located in Worcester you folks have actually heard of Clark University no make me come up there Meg as office worker of the month you normally stay this late when you're over there generally yeah do you enjoy your work very making a lot of dough I enjoy my work yeah you know New York City is a very exciting place for people like yourself you having a good time here great okay here now look at this see we didn't know if it was going to be a man or a woman but you can take this down to Bancroft and you can get this change for something that would would fit you something something nice yeah high quality stuff no not necessarily the same style but like a dress or a suit of blouse and you know something cute like that sure you do and and congratulations have a great week over there [Applause] the office worker now what are we doing now we'll do a commercial and when we come back Todd Rundgren will be here [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you [Applause] [Applause] [Music] David how you doing I'm doing marvelously sir how are you today good good you had a big weekend with this Red Cross well you know all safer by the way is the National the National chairs no chair and how about that the Red Cross I'll be Red Cross player part volunteer recruitment campaign this and they have like a brand new 30-second PSA announcement by featuring you yeah do we do we have that here I understand we do that do you mind that elevated with an embarrass you and Al do we have it loaded up ears Paul Shaffer as the national charity okay other cats and chicks here we go take a look around [Music] Randy Travis on streams Branford Marsalis [Applause] on lead there are a lot of different parts to play in the American Red Cross play your part [Applause] kids you know I think that's I think what you're doing is great and I think the spot there is great but you know what it suggests and I touched on this last Friday what is that in the event of a natural disaster and it kind of flood earthquake whatever that celebrities will be there to help people yes it I did a lot of television work satellite work has got to be the last if you would be coming to the fires now yeah I'll be there after hoppy asked me what I did this week you're not gonna believe this I went shopping for provisions up there in the North Woods why do you mean provisions well stuff you need around the house let's get this two items I purchased two items yes birdseed which you need yeah yeah well no not for me and light bulbs general electric light bulbs now I want you to guess the total what did this set me back well you bought some birdseed seed and light bulb and some light bulbs yeah it sounds like a science experiment well I couldn't be more than I would say nine nine eighty nine nine eighty nine ten bucks yeah a hundred seventy six dollars I'll break it down for us how much birdseed well the birdseed was was like a nickel yeah you've bought a lot of GE balls oh man i couldn't believe it i got some lightbulbs and apparently they're far more expensive than i thought obviously yeah either that or I was bamboozled well yeah do me a favor and take a shot oh I'm sorry what do you say big three-way things I don't know there's some long deals like this that go on a long thing like that long things they were like Eon buddies yeah Neos are out of day they haven't made those you know I have my name in neon on the roof well no wonder it people can see it from my side just getting a new D lifters in the area can come right over yes I did how can you take a shot of the Simon Schuster building across the street there and see if our friend Meg is working again tonight you know Paul last week he works over there at the Pocket Books and I forget which window it was how do you recall which window yeah okay get right in there What did he say Tom okay good there is that her right there all right Oh give me some dialing music Oh a little dialing music [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I have nine numbers none of which is oh here it is right there okay there's Meg right there she's working hard again tonight let's see if this is meg was a lovely woman we gave her a suit of clothes from Bancroft downstairs leave your hair alone honey you're gonna be on TV where's the ring hi hi hi Meg this is Dave Letterman again can I put your voice on the air all right turn around and smile to America she said yes hi [Applause] I'm gonna call you every so often like on Tuesday to find out about your weekend how was it this time it was pretty good yeah what'd you do I guess the highlight was going down to the Village Vanguard on Saturday night yeah who did you see there Mel Mel Lewis I can't remember I think they Lewis ask me my highlight was your birdseed and light bulbs on it six dollars 176 bucks yeah that's just about the national average meg what are you working on there tonight um right now I'm going through some old bills that have to get paid so this is how you make your extra money you kind of skim this sort of stuff listen did you ever get your suit of clothing from Bancroft yeah yeah what'd you get well actually I have the one that you gave me it's on the back of my door oh you so you haven't turned it in yet oh I'm kind of torn I feel like keeping the original all right do you want to slip into what you have there just if you had just slip into the jacket hey wait a minute is there security on your floor yeah can you just slip into the jacket for us yeah we'll hang on first time she works the puppetry you know we have Bruce Willis and Super Dave Osborne on the show tonight Mary yeah do you have any questions for Bruce Willis what was the highlight of his weekend okay hey I'm asking the questions here all right Meg slip onto the jacket there yeah okay all a little modeling music here she's trying on clothes hey get I don't want to talk to you I don't know who you are hey you hey put the photo Thank You Meg you're beautiful we'll talk to you later goodbye thank you [Applause] well Paul it'll be every week we check in with one of our neighbors little Meggie our little neighbor Paris I love this new second so last night I'm driving home how are we doing on time do we have time for I'm driving home sorry oh no I'll come up later let's do our top 10 list tonight and then I'll go back from Loma I'm tearing up something we don't need god I hope it was something we don't [Applause] [Music] [Applause] take it for granted you know I think eight rings that's a pretty good sign remember you remember a couple of weeks ago fall I was going somewhere and I said a guy I'm driving home and a guy in the middle of the street is selling a what remember that this is like midnight and walking down the middle of the street there's a guy selling a fire extinguisher that's right fire exactly it didn't mention it so last night same deal same neighborhood same I don't know if the same guy or not I had my choice from my car in a driving rainstorm same people walking up and down the middle of the street now not on the sidewalk I could have bought a giant balloon for the kids one of those are just big huge things I could have purchased some saws like small woodworking saws or I could purchase and I did this in the street I never I never liked midnight I never left my car a guy is walking down the street with a lot of tools he look like the guy from this old house and I say roll down the window and I said excuse me are those tools for sale and he says oh yes as a matter of fact they are and he said this is five dollars so I handed him the five bucks and here you go there's an amazing isn't it sledge vendors a division of Ace Hardware I believe what else are we doing oh uh let's see oh we wanted to call across the street see if our friend is over there meg Paul now we need some more dialing music this is our friend Meg she works at the Sherwin Williams building right Simon & Schuster building how can we get a shot of the building there there she is if she is that her to the left this woman works late every day we've seen her there like four or five times okay let me maybe should do what how okay let me see and we just want to check in weather and see our week has been like we've been on vacation for a couple of weeks where'd she go I misdialed that wasn't her anyway okay there's nobody in her window well somebody should answer the phone what is that somebody somebody's going to jump oh alright hi Meg this is your friend Dave across the street at NBC can we put your voice on the air okay Meg said yes how you been Meg you know we've been gone for a couple of weeks everything been alright yeah what do you been doing yeah well what do you do when you work there every night and what is it you didn't get done today yeah yeah and but you still enjoy working there all right yeah do you have anything interesting to tell us about your weekend I was trying to think of something and I don't have anything I made a great spaghetti dinner oh yeah did you invite friends over yeah and spaghetti and what else spaghetti what was their sauce with the spaghetti yeah was it a big dinner party or sort of an intimate thing so it was you and perhaps a male friend yeah yeah just the two of you and then what did you do after dinner well let's see what happens it was their wine with dinner No wasn't a wine with dinner tap water so this really was kind of a romantic special evening that was spaghetti and tap water now is this a guy you've seen before yes but I don't think I wouldn't discuss it on the air okay but are you keeping your fingers crossed about what about the guy yeah does he work there no okay can you do me a favor can you open your window open ya mean like well no no I mean actually actually pull up the window open give it a try right now no tomorrow and then call me yeah see if you can slide open the window have you ever opened a window in your life yeah okay it would be the same principle applying here I just want to see if you can get it open and then and then maybe like toss something out because they painted shut yeah we'll give it put down the phone and give it all you can Meg here we go Anton a drum roll there we go get ready Meg [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you know you know Meg that pasta tap water diet agrees with you yeah okay do me a favor just wad something up there you go all right Meg I'll talk to you next week thank you very much okay all right bye bye there's Meg over there how about that ball state yeah congratulations ladies and gentlemen now this brings us to the time in the program when we give you our top ten list from the home office in Lebanon Pennsylvania [Applause] sometimes it's hard for me to believe what major corporations are saying today the company ah never mind I've skirted a few people are eating free [Applause] everybody everybody here gets a lovely steak dinner at the tab I'm gonna treat you to the thickest steak dinner in town what a spark I mean let me see the second joke that I screwed up you have that with us what does that irritate me I can't even read jokes it's all right if you have a good weekend Paul yeah I did you know I was talking to Adam man before the show huh it's great to see you love it was gonna fly on the wall there strangely enough to say though ant is not normally a Jewish name I know that turns out that it is not normally uh let's see sometimes it's hard not to be cynical about big corporations today for example why don't we do the entire show this way I'll just read off cards like this at my desk today the Perrier company announced that it was bringing back all the contaminated bottles of water and selling the stuff as classic Perrier [Applause] Paula jabber to see any of the big n-c-double-a finally I did and I was out last oh did you folks see any of this game how well a few minutes of the footage we have from last night's game over there on CBS this is UNLV and Duke I had Duke while I was [Applause] hmm a particulate matter in my coffee you have a particulate matter in there yeah that's right I don't know I don't know all tree related yeah I'm going to drink it in there I don't know it's just oh yeah Oh could we run that through a sieve or select all if you will please a bit of dialing music [Music] we're gonna call the oh how how do you have the external camera up and running turn on the external camera how there it is there is the external camera looking at our fourteenth floor window upstairs and right across the street that is the what is that that's the Briggs & Stratton building that's the Smith & Wesson building what the hell is that that's the Simon & Schuster building and periodically we call over there and talk to our friend Meg we provide this service for snipers oh I'm telling you the day I can successfully tell jokes and dial a phone call I'm getting my own show alright this should be Meg over there did I do everything properly with the phone here we go there should be ringing let's see if Meg answers the phone hi Megan since your friend Dave can I put your voice on the air okay she said yes there she is ladies Meg turn around and wave to everybody [Applause] ìin advertently disconnected meg can you can you swear on network television you can dammit [Music] when did they change that by the way because that's not why they get rid of Brent Musburger is it Oh Meg thank God I'm sorry I hung up accidentally it was my fault can you ever forgive me no I'm having a horrible night tonight listen hey you want free dinner what do you mean well well I don't know what does that usually mean to you Meg well yeah I think we all know all right Meg how was your weekend do you have a little story to tell us from your own personal life sure uh-huh okay go ahead I guess the best part was going over to my friends house and learning how to make pasta homemade pasta with a pasta machine yeah wow you're really on the edge Meg you know last time you open the window for us and something fell off your desk yeah did you get in any trouble for that just a little yeah can you can you open the window again tonight okay yeah clear the window but here's what I want you to do yeah with a piece of paper there scrap paper fold up an aeroplane and just sail it out there and we'll follow it down okay [Applause] don't inadvertently topple out yeah I know that yeah you'd be headlines for the post what kind of plane you're making there I am making them looks like a jet meg do you like talking with me on the phone yeah I enjoy chatting with you you seem like a very nice woman thank you don't tell those geeks behind you to get back to work meg put down the phone put down the phone to do this you're gonna need both hands all right try it with both hands too much pasta here we go Anton okay here we go okay all right now now Meg all right now when you fly this we're gonna try and follow it down with a camera okay okay look all right so open up just a bit higher okay that's good all right here we go go ahead wait a minute [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] we don't we gotta be throwing these out of windows what are we doing now oh the big top 10 is that right oh man all right let's do it she seemed very nice but I remember the first night we called she was very suspicious about whether or not she could talk to me on the phone it was and I asked her about the free dinner and she's got a million questions about that oh there she is right there look yeah she's yeah well you've loosened her up a little since all right no I don't here we go from the Home Office in Lebanon Pennsylvania [Applause] nice to see you we've had a week off how was your week I had a pretty good week did you I can't remember what I did Oh Earth Day what did you do for Earth Day Earth Day yeah Oh Sunday you know it was Sunday yeah Sunday was Earth Day I missed it no no you must be was Sunday yes sunday was next I know no it's was last Sunday what did you do for a day I hop mopped my driveway [Music] Hey look we have a brand new phone here it's lovely look at the size of this phone man alive look at that we'll be able to make phone calls yes sir and also look we have new flooring we have some kind of new floor design how can you share the folks with the old floor looked like yeah there's the old floor see right there and it sets the old floor now look at the new floor so I was I was in California and I'm staying at this hotel and I drove my car back up one day I'd been out doing something and I came back to the hotel you know how you will on vacation occasionally you'll go back to the hotel and when I'm in there for like an hour and I come back outside and somebody has stolen the radio from my car yeah so I'm thinking well it's probably my own dumb fault because the car was was not locked in and nor was there a roof on it and so I went into the guy behind the counter and I said you know I'm not I'm not complaining here because it's not really I don't think it's really your responsibility I don't think it's really your problem I just thought for future interest maybe you'd like to know that somebody is on your parking lot stealing things out of cars yeah and and you expect that the guy would be a little sympathetic and say oh well I'm sorry let's report it to the police is there anything I can do no the guy says oh my god I left my car in LA and he and he ran out to the parking lot just boom he was a ghost I don't know that's a lie all right Paulson dialing music please how how can you turn on the external camera please I'll gurney our director now activating the external camera this is right across the street there at 49th this is the Smith & Wollensky building this is the sort that's right it's the Simon & Schuster building and periodically we call one of our neighbors over there her name is Matt [Music] [Applause] and we'll find out how she's oh there is Meg right there oh good Oakland all right let me see if I can Meg works over there in a division of pocketbooks which is a division of the Simon & Schuster publishing she's in publicity I believe and we're gonna try the new phone there first call on the new phone Wow listen to that hot ring okay here we go that's lovely Paul what is that no that's what I thought well wait a minute she doesn't seem to be doing anything what if this person is not Meg she's busted into her office and killed Meg and is now rifling her belongings you know we're close enough we could pretty much just keen something at the window I may have missed dials it's our first Miss dialing on the new phone all right [Music] that damn music I can't concentrate here we go let's try it again all right do I need to dial anything to get out of here did I do it right that time this should be Meg okay Paul kick it up again very nice world's most obedient dog hey hey hello mag is that you this is Dave I can we talk to you on the phone yeah what are you doing right now she said yes you know we can hardly see you you're in the shadows there turn on the lights are there how have you been I haven't talked to you in a couple of weeks I was on vacation yeah you get quite a bit of vacation it seems have a problem with that meg baby now Meg what did you do what was your weekend did you celebrate Earth Day yeah I did even though serve unintentional I went to the aquarium with my friend Tony and they had a whole Earth Day celebration going on Wow was it was it fun yeah it was nice great now this friend Tony tell me about Tony Tony is the one I made that infamous spaghetti and tapwater dinner for yeah this is this is like about six weeks ago right yeah and so things are working out there pretty well yeah things been wonderful yeah dasoni work there at Simon and Schuster no he's an architect I see and he have a photo of Tony we could see no I don't all right I tell you the next time we call it we'd like to see a picture of Tony well we'll see what I can do you're not ashamed of him are you all right Meg last time we had you make a paper airplane and drop it out of the window did you get in trouble for that no I lost a few valuable items off my windowsill but now yeah Oh tell me what is the press release you're writing up there it's for one of the books that were coming out on and it's one of those with the ladies in lingerie carrying a machine gun that kind of thing all right if you can open the window do you have one of those hole punch things there yes oh great open the window oh this might be terrific go ahead yeah just open the window move your belongings by the way yeah do you drink it all Meg no I was gonna say we could send you up a couple of beers for later if you want that would be great but um I hope I won't be here too much longer okay you're trying to beat it out of there yeah yeah all right hang on okay okay it's not like we're doing a TV show here or anything right here we go oh great she's got it is that like a six hole punch Meg all right go ahead and just empty it Anton a little drumroll here you're on the 14th floor Meg Thirteenth here we go let's widen out in what Hey it's biodegradable so there's okay and we'll clean it up for you so don't worry about that an asbestos ledge thank you very much we'll puffier soon like a darn nice person luggage seems like a very nice young woman don't you think Paul lovely alright how do we have the the first footage the first photos the first pictures coming in from the Hubble Space Telescope yeah no they launched up this morning on the space shuttle and this goes like it's orbiting eighty six thousand miles above the surface of the earth and it will provide us now with a more clearer view of the universe than in previous time altogether back pictures yeah we're getting them in that video go ahead Hal punch up the newsfeed here we go let's see what this looks like oh there it is we get some video hash that's what they call that there [Applause] special thrill I had to sound cliche but it really is to have only Eisley in the band tonight and we're doing all music associated with the Isley Brothers on earnest eyes Ernie thank you very much for being here and this just in oh great thank you very much nice job you know what hi I'll enjoy a beverage right now oh man that's great you know I've said it before and I'll probably say it again but I don't believe there's a man woman or child alive today who doesn't enjoy a lovely beverage I never thought of it that way yeah did you have a nice weekend yeah I had a nice relaxing weekend stayed home most of the time what did you do when hunting I'm not a big hunter I went hunting went upstate New York went hunting you went hunting that's right I didn't know you're on that's right when I run after horses you know what what do we do now I've welcomed everyone to the show how about that much you've done yes okay do what sir he shoots his shot it's his shots you take care of him Sir you [Applause] we're gonna call the lovely meg across the street see how our weekend boy is it hot in here today when are we going to get air conditioning for this studio there it is that's the beautiful Smith & Wesson building across the street so what simon & schuster that's right the Simon & Schuster massive publishers global corporation and this is a Meg Parr sont we've chatted with our hello Meg this is Dave is that you hey hey Meg turn around and wave to everybody there hi [Applause] meg Meg is it hot over there in that office where you are oh man I'm telling you it's like a silo over here hey Meg how was your weekend fine what'd you do um I went upstate yeah where'd you go you weren't hunting horses where yeah yeah yeah I got booed when I said that what did you do upstate I am went on a beautiful farm up there and I had a Sunday at Friendly's great yeah now on this farm were you were you trespassing no yeah you knew the owners was this a date meg that's Toni it's Toni now sure yeah how long have you known Toni a few years how many a few years a few years here I was under the impression that he was like a brand-new friend in your life well that's good how many years have you known him three and a half you think you kids will get married he's an architect isn't he right yeah you think you kids will get married I don't know well well you're kind of hoping for that I guess well thinking about it I think that would be very nice I I'm all in favor of this do you have a photo of Toni I asked you last time if you'd have a photo of him well I actually do yeah well could we see it please yeah sure you know Meg I don't want to I don't want to alarm you but I think your building is right on a fault line and it looks like there may be a quake this very minute it seems to be dancing around an awful lot okay oh hi there you are alright now let's see the picture of Tony go ahead and put the phone down okay well it's actually right not so far away well I would hope so I mean I just happen to have a handy okay okay alright put it right up against the window he seems he seems like a very nice guy and I bet you kids make a lovely couple I guess we do yeah yeah you want it you want to try and guess who's on the show tonight um well if I could get to my newspaper I could fully into thing I guessed I have no idea we have one of the Isley Brothers here which one does it matter [Laughter] it's it's maggots Ernie Isley your favorite okay yeah and you ever seen the television show Murphy Brown over there on CBS yeah well we have somebody from that show that's faith Ford yeah yeah and master illusionists Penn & Teller you know how come you're working there what do you mean how come Oh delays yeah you should go home because I have some stuff to finish yeah what kind of stuff generally bills and things that I didn't do during the day yeah but is this personal stuff or business stuff I wouldn't do personal stuff okay okay yeah that's what Tony says now I went hunting horses okay make it's getting ugly over here I'm gonna have to let you go oh wait a minute is that is there a guy in the office directly below you I don't know yeah well that's the can we widen out and see if he's there let's see if anybody is down there okay now let's go back in and see if he's can we get in there and see that right there is there anybody in there yeah okay okay okay yeah this might work meg how long is that phone cord all right do me a favor in it but but be very very careful because we don't want anybody getting hurt here try and lower the phone out the window no why not because I seems a bad luck when I throw things up no no no Meg no Hey I'm not I'm not saying throw the phone okay all right let me walk you through this but be very very cautious [Music] see I didn't realize you and Tony had known one another so long no I thought from talking to you once before that he was like a new friend is that Alright all right here we go open it up a little bit there okay put the phone down man all right here she goes drum roll Anton yeah all right very nice okay okay now before it please please be very very careful what am i well let's see if we can't get this guy's attention and maybe we can talk to him yes lower the phone out the window trying to get it to rap on his window here we go man go ahead yeah well give it a try like like you're escaping from Breakers Island okay all right that's good excellent excellent placement of the phone okay now no okay no no yeah there we go [Music] you're gonna have to put one leg out the window now all right look trying to get an extension cord on that we'll do it again next time all right Meg have a nice evening [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] do we have time for the big top ten list okay [Music] [Applause] [Music] you know you know we've talked to that Meg now maybe three or four months she's a very nice young woman I think she handles herself extremely well I do what's over there Simon and Schuster she's an editor or something for what is she edit for paps publicity for what is the little paperback thing huh that phantom phantom books what books Dan some Bantam Books yeah I just like doing that the morning you had to say ban up nine times in a row oh is it van important what is it it's pocket books I'm sorry pockets pocket books what is it again more tea pocket book what is it I'm sorry what doc it all right hell was that [Applause] all I could say like it says I look forward to the day when you can introduce me as from every hit show on a well that's true he's on he's on who's the boss he's on that he's on that and in the fall there's another show that he'll be the voice on do the voice and then a third show right he's home of that host of that totally hidden home video thing right yeah I think he's the host of though what is it morning he's what is that what are the three shows he has a TV movie the TV movie oh there you go TV movie a movie new week who's the boss and and another of the voice of a brand a brand new show yeah Tony damn on another network here's the Tony Danza Paul I can't help but notice is that a new set over there why I believe it is as a matter of fact yeah and alive you get your it's got a stairway it's gonna label me to make a quick getaway at anytime during the show yeah very nice and yet were you're a little skyline over there pole we have the oh you would do just like yours yeah well not just like mine well no mine has real glass in it for one reason I think yours is Albany ah thank you no well you've heard me mentioned my agent before on the show haven't you your agent yeah my agent I mention one other time I'm not gonna mention his actual name but he's a very powerful influential man he's with one of the log agencies he owned and founded his own big agency really yeah and represents the top of the group of people in Los Angeles and I am lucky enough to have this man as my agent I know I see him I see him like twice a year that would be a good year if I see this man twice at your own agent yeah that's twice a year and the last time he was here I mention it okay so now six eight months go by and I saw him like two weeks ago on a Friday and I'm thinking oh boy things must really be going well my agent is here yeah so now today and let's just call him buddy his name is not buddy but I'll call him buddy okay whatever his name is will call him buddy so today I get this this envelope here from my agent now look can you see that it says personal and confidential right well it's trust me this part there says personal and confidential so I'm thinking man what what can this be because just two weeks ago I saw a buddy and he didn't he did he didn't say didn't say anything to me man Shane was anything so I'm a little nervous because he's a very powerful man so of course as you can see look I ripped it right off as you open immediately pulled it right out and I open it up and right on the top here look right there again it says personal and confidential see right there can you see that they're personal and confidential there okay so now I'm sweating like a New York waiter dear Dave the letter from buddy begins it was nice seeing you last Friday kindest regards buddy this damage should be in the vault to me that 10% I'll tell you hey how about some dialing music Paul we're going across the street to visit our friend Meg person over there in the Simon & Schuster building all right let's see there's that one and then where we have a brand new phone a brand new set and a personal letter from my agent buddy I am one lucky boy okay now this woman he'll turn on the external camera Kenya here she works right across the street right there on the 13th or 14th floor get right in there how if you can and hi I'm Meg this is Dave Letterman your friend across the street can we put your voice on the air now she said yes can we talk to you a little bit this afternoon oh she's there to the left hi wave to everybody Meg nice to see you meg hello how was your weekend all right yeah how's your job very good and your boyfriend Tony is that his name yeah yeah everything going well there and did you expect him to propose to you one day soon yeah do your parents like this young man yeah yeah and do you do his parents like you yeah yeah are you chewing gum no okay oh say Meg by the way to jeer what happened at that pet store this afternoon listen boy you look great today meg did somebody clean the windows there it looks terrific now do you remember last time we phoned you we we had you lower the phone out the window now did you get the extension cord for the phone yes because last time it wasn't long enough Hal do me a favor and widen out and tip down there and we can see if we can find anybody beneath the Meg there at work meg how's work going by the way are you doing all right with those people yeah oh lucky he knew we were gonna do this and he closed his blinds how much court do you have there Meg I'd say all right well let's go down one more let's see Oh see wait a minute Oh oh there's a window that's open down into the right Meg do me a favor if you if you you know anything about repelling ever done any mountain climbing all right Meg since the guy beneath us is apparently not in there or doing something highly confidential just lower the phone out now and we'll see if we can't swing it into that open office and get somebody to come there but yeah do you have your safety harness on all right we'll be very careful how many you're just gonna go one floor down and then one west one you're going to go one south and then turn west okay yeah it's the first one down what are you working on these days I'm working on getting some mailings out right now what does that mean mailings out mailings we send out books to the book reviewers hoping that what's the book you're sending out the book I'm I'm sending out for an entire month yeah so it's about 20 books what's your favorite do you read all those books no I don't do you many books printed in Portuguese these days yeah okay go ahead Meg lower it out there Anton a little phone lowering music although I don't see anybody there oh I forgot to ask her to open the window I'm sorry Meg you know I figured it out though yeah you're coming [Applause] okay here we go the windows open over where you're gonna let it go down one let it bang on this guy's window for a minute I have a feeling he wants no part of us and then we seem to have a wide open window there next is so you're gonna have to do a bit of swinging perhaps some body English yeah there we go get away good luck to you Maggie there we go a little bit hard is that it now let it go a little oh she's my god she's caught her back okay no Meg was that the extent I don't think this is gonna work why not what happened because I can't see how far down I'm no no you're about three feet short quickly try one more time just let it all out and then let it go there whoa okay all right now I kid now it's coming back up right and it looks like what a quart low okay I don't yeah that was fine now let it go of the free length again and when it's down there starts swinging it alright okay then again and then let it swing okay here we go man don't be an easy here it goes whoa okay now swing that if you can't hear me can't you okay here we go yes [Laughter] [Music] okay now Meg Meg yeah okay I understand you're a little reluctant to be busting glass and stuff 12 floors up I know you did your best dammit we appreciate it okay now I understand you have a birthday coming soon uh yeah when is your birthday okay and how old will you be that's very private information okay like what 40 50 what all right well Meg as by way of saying happy birthday we're gonna send you up something from Hurley's what would you like I don't know what their selection well they have clams all right we'll send up some lovely breaded clams that would be super how did you know my birthday well I don't know it's just the kind of thing we know here thanks for a nice try Meg we'll talk to you soon [Applause] [Music] [Applause] just over there which over there at my I just stepped out to admire the new set we're going to do a commercial we'll be right back here with the Tony Danza come on back [Music] [Music] [Applause] Tony Danza will be out here in a minute now are we sending her clams or not we are gonna send her clams do we really want to send the woman clams yeah okay so Paul you understand she I think she was reluctant to be swinging that thing around you want to smash her fill her of killing somebody right yeah who would be liable if she broke a window over there not me buddy no I'm here working I see her point how could it be me couldn't possibly know should we do this top 10 list more neither we have time for this one where do you have the clams arrived I'm gonna be asking this question every five minutes what you're saying basically is send in the clams exactly the clams have not arrived keep us posted William or D all right thank you I hear a high-pitched um yeah that's coming from over here let me zoom hearing tests over there again others Meg you guys had it okay [Music] [Applause] hey birdie have the clams arrived and then why do you suppose she wouldn't tell us how old she is this shit's real war I know it's none of my business but aside from that I think she's no more than 25 years old and already she's worried well I'm sorry but it is certainly a lovely welcome back to the big show tonight's big telecast warty have the clams arrived [Applause] [Music] wait a minute there's meg Meg can't hear me now I got to talk to her on the phone you think she'd call me once in a while no and the clams are being delivered oh that's cute much Meg's number do I have time to call her over there real quick let me see what the hell is that number where's that number I don't have Meg's number hey hey how do we get her well I don't yeah directory information that's it games do we have Meg's number oh oh thanks okay here we go we're gonna call over there see if she's as I recall Meg doesn't care for clams what is she doing sending them back let's see what kind of tip she's giving you look at how good she looks doesn't she look great fall I handsome young woman man look at that wine hey I ain't paying for no hey don't open that wine hey Meg I ain't paying for wine that's a huge bottle of wine what kind is that is that from the 7-eleven nope it's a Mouton cadet oh very nicely for NASA now meg what are you having there besides the wine well we got the stuffed clams do you like clams I recall you don't care for clams no I do like okay all right and we have look like those buffalo chicken wings oh very good yeah and what are you gonna tip this guy stand-in there in the red coat I thought you took care of that oh we will mag open open the window and heave something out toss out a clam spill some wine you got walking plenty of wine over there well here we go she's gonna heave a clam out the window get ready boys all right Meg we were talking about this why why wouldn't you tell us how old you're gonna be I don't know I was trying to be mysterious oh I see okay III say you're about 25 that's close okay here we go a clam out the window okay she's gonna do time for this somebody will get killed okay thank you very much Meg happy happy birthday enjoy that [Applause] let's see or coming up on the Big Show tomorrow oh well yet tonight the michael pen will be here you know that's it that's a really good album if you office yeah he was here once before with the other single and he's here tonight with another one that's a very entertaining albums CBS News woman Lesley Stahl from Face the Nation she has a great out you know what I'm told I'm told when they actually do that show on Sunday they do it down in there in Washington they actually do Face the Nation when they do it they do every Sunday they face a nation that's right it's kind of like south and west a little bit I see Face the Nation they don't Pacey's tomorrow on the show Arnold Schwarzenegger will be here and Tom Wilson from Back to the Future 3 Ricky Skaggs will be here with the band's we got to do a commercial okay we'll be right back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] years with you I've decided to step down to spend more time on my hair hey hey good luck to you you know Paul D I'll need it you do you believe in this global warming thing I have a theory because last week I thought maybe there was something to this global warming song they're getting thinner and everything's getting worth getting down but today it was nice and cool so I don't know I'm seasonably cool it feels so last night over at Combe man a lot it's that instant pudding mix something you gotta you got to put milk in it so our last night I'm driving home and I look at my gas gauge there and I'm low so I have to swing right in and I have to get some gasoline so I go up to the self-service pump Island what's going on over there I hear a completely different show going on Morty Morty look into that find out who's responsible for this completely different show huh now it's continuing hello testing hello okay good okay fine Oh crucial is it okay now yes sir okay thank you very much okay so anyway I need to pull in and I need to get gas because my little oh yes but I it's going on again what's going it's some kind of dance show so I pull into the thing and right at the self-service island now you have to pay first so I get out of my car I go over to the little cage where the woman is and I said I would like to pay for my gas so I gave her like the ten bucks to put the gas in the car and she says which pump is that and I point to the pump over there and I go back over there and now by this time there's a guy at the pump and at my car and I think oh oh well good you know it's a self-service pump but the attendant is not busy he's gonna help me with my gas so he unhooks the pump he puts it right in the thing and he's pumping the gas and he says you know it's getting chilly here don't you think and I said yeah it is kind of getting a little chilly and then I sneezed and he said see see it's getting chilly so I go back over and I purchase a candy bar and the guy screaming at me andand he says hey hey tell her to turn on the pump and I said excuse me ma'am could you turn on on the pump and she says which one and I said right over there where that guy is pumping the gas under my car and she says oh he don't work here and then she goes back to reading whatever she was reading okay let's see if that show over there has another story Oh dialing music Paul let's go over and talk to Meg over there in the big simon & schuster building [Applause] [Music] turn on the external camera how all right this is Meg she works in the publicity Department of pocketbooks it's a division of Simon & Schuster there she is right there a lovely woman we've been chatting on the phone for weeks hello Meg this is your friend Dave can I put you on the air meg how are you tonight I'm okay wave to everyone and say hello there meg how was your big weekend the big weekend looks fine um I have laryngitis yeah how did you get that I don't know it just happened uh-huh yeah are you running a fever I was are you taking any aspirin yeah and have a headache any kind of throbbing pounding headache no elevated pulse no what about the swollen glands yeah aches and pains yeah honey you have the flu but I don't have it anymore oh it's gone so you're not contagious yeah and your boyfriend Timmy how's he doing oh yes Tommy I tell you what we don't really have anything we need to do with you this evening we just wanted to call and say hello and later if you want we have a came are the discount magician if you want to come over and assistance with that we'd be happy to have you you and me in the magician what do you think okay and bring some of those trashy books you folks published over there I don't care whatever you got right laying around you can bring without getting stopped with security okay okay right and then make do me a favor I'm gonna put the phone down we're gonna do the top ten so that gives you like two minutes see how many co-workers you can jam into your office there and then we'll all just wanna see them wave as we go to a commercial can do it okay all right we're gonna do the top ten you go get your boneheaded friends here we go go get him okay okay Meg meg Meg meg are you still there mag did you hear about the new slogan for British Airways No okay well alright I gotta go get those folks okay okay let's do this the category tonight top ten goofiest audience driver's license photos [Applause] you know Paul after all of that I wait home Saturday and Sunday the census guy was supposed to be there yeah that's right he came to my house on on Thursday I said I can't talk to he said I'll come back Saturday he didn't come back Saturday he didn't come back Sunday you're kidding and you stayed home I stayed home all weekend so what here's what I did I had a friend come over and count me what did he get here we go a top-10 goofiest audience driver's license photos number ten Manuel Manuel Soto Texas he in hock to the mob number nine David Burke Connecticut Eggar number eight Steven Winstead Georgia shirt no shoes no license number seven Janet Onan New York world's tiniest driver we have another phone book please at number six Andrew Savita Connecticut world's coolest sophomore Lane New York hey I Drive the ball close number for William Griffin Massachusetts firecrackers yeah I can get your firecrackers I'm a three Dave Letterman Connecticut [Applause] number two Joseph Donahue you know New York I'm not wearing pants and the number one the goofiest audience driver's license photo Sarah shakin it again what are you looking at pump there you go [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay Meg can you hear me I can hear you nice job that looked pretty good I got of many people like well you did an excellent job for us have everybody wave and then if you want to help with a magic trick come on over are you serious they should come over and help it it was you wanted we don't wanna get you fired or anything but if you yeah by the way don't bring that guy with you in a few minutes nice talking with you bye-bye thank you very much [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Music] thank you very much so Paul you understand the guy didn't work at the filling station no I know he was just some user that's a guy being very helpful and then chatting and commenting about the weather and helping me pump my gas and cleaning my windshields yeah then what happened to him well then I I tipped him a little something for his trouble and then he jumped in the car and came home with me that that's that's where you always get in trouble in my yard work for me is big out there huh bring her in this is the woman from across the street [Applause] [Applause] what is it yeah pocketbooks but it's a division of Wayne and Shuster assignment Shuster right look at this now this is like Nancy Drew I remember when Nancy Drew was kind of a sweet thing for young boys and girls to read but look at this this is just nothing but smut look just Nancy now what do you do for these do you edit these do you know republic's eyes publicize them so you help launch the campaign you know I haven't heard of Nancy Drew in like 20 years well get to work I'm not the publicist for handsome okay well are there any in here that you work on uh I don't even know what they got together all right hardy boys look at this Paul remember the Hardy Boys I love the Hardy Boys there look at that some kind of invisible guy that's in the Hardy Boys but the Hardy Boys got a date did the Hardy Boys used to have dates I always had dates on when they're up solving crimes Oh Meg now what is this one Ginny's dream here we go look out get ready [Applause] [Music] for you this is like a publicist dream here you just kind of publicizes itself doesn't it alright and on here's there's a scary one this is uh what the hell is this I've never heard of any of these authors scarecrow beware the knight expect no mercy now do you read all of these really you've read this entire box of books No well we're gonna have magic here in a minute now although this has kind of been magic don't you think all right let's see coming up tonight on the program came are the magician he'll be here Megan I will be assisting and a very funny a gentleman by the name of Bill Hicks will be joining us tomorrow on the program oh do you like buckwheat zydeco will then be here tomorrow yeah maybe even come back again tomorrow are you you're really nervous right now oh you have that laryngitis thing yeah actress Fran Drescher from the film Cadillac man and ooh Tom Brokaw that'll be that'll be tomorrow on the program Tom Brokaw meg you know World Cup soccer is the most watched a sporting event on earth seen by more people than the Super Bowl and the World Series combined today in stadiums throughout the country of Italy teams from 24 nations are competing in the finals here now with his nightly World Cup soccer update our own stagehand Almar al [Music] thanks Dave the 24 nations that began this tournament last Friday have been narrowed down to well actually it's still 24 they're using some kind of weird scoring system beats the hell out of me [Music] [Applause] okay we'll go commercial we'll be right back here with Tamar [Applause] [Music] [Applause] here's one look personal is the name of this book and look what it says here can we see this how this is unbelievable redheads wanted for coffee and conversation what is going on over there no oh oh wait did we hear it or not ladies and gentlemen one of my guests one of my next guests the most amazing tricks is that he somehow convinces us to have him back on the show ladies and gentlemen please welcome kar the discount magician [Applause] [Music] Mr this is this is Megan parson this is my assistant this is Miss gamer be careful Oh very very nice big time on my hands where you go all right now give me that fish what kind of fish is this well it's been very near some radiation some powerful radiation birthday tomorrow let's get to the jury how long do they live those fish yeah in your hands in your care 280 an afternoon so hon David on the way to the game magic you sure we are okay you always get more try not to startle Meg okay she she has laryngitis David listen to me very carefully okay I always prepare something spectacular I know you do come on now you're a big mess I brought you bring an enormous man I have the string I'm six eight to 20 they came on the whole up it was full of a flow yeah now we're gonna make a cake because I heard it was your birthday you enjoyed it was your birthday that's right so what's more beautiful to make a cake in April better late than never yeah that's all we need this some eggs some ingredients okay here we go now I want you to have it sent over here hold your hand like this like equator because I'm gonna give you the plate with those real eggs Meg you can hold one good Meg all right now hold it over here please just like that oh pumps game are you cut up you clutch your clutch I am sorry then that's an is a damn that's it be scary careful don't slip in that come right over oh shut up put a little flour David little flour little flour hitting my flour in there yeah little salt I'm a panther jeez you're overdoing it on the pepper if you had a little lighter fluid sure came our of course did when you bought this trick did you read the instructions carefully like this would you please reach inside because he's afraid the little mouse in there with the clean hand the other hand thank you oh it's an egg would you please no David you break this away there what is this came off like an exploding Egger saw no sir not one job is they're gonna take my hand off apologize that was a mistake over here somebody did this backstage okay you got the light you smoke no I don't I'm sorry I faked how about you do you smoke would you like that trick let oh thank god his assistant is here alright Wow David watch this the camera watches up David oh I'm gonna cover the first one David and I'm gonna produce the cake and the other one would reduce another cake Ollie I'm sorry what was that what did you say mistake I made a mistake got me what happened to the cake Kathy whatever you think that would have oh my God look at what I heard my birthday was two months ago well we're now in the middle of June okay here careful I wouldn't eat that if you put a gun to my head watches very slipper here okay maybe we can eat the cake after the show all right yeah oh yeah good idea get came are full of sugar watch yourself watch it watch it whoo man this is this is very dangerous we come now to the most fantastic part of the show find that hard to believe this is the could be me pillory - who don't know P Lawrence - no one ever escaped no one are not even David no how much time do we have we have one minute Kaymer here we go well get in sight and I'm gonna make your head small and if you will no I'm not I don't wanna know I don't want to get in there I don't [Applause] we need you here we need you all right now that you might you want you might want to point out this is genuine plywood that John to the David I don't want to hurt you okay like this better go no I have a lot of lower back pain okay all right you have to bend down there okay now we go to put deluxe and once we put deluxe it will never never get out his head okay let me have your hand sir well thank you very much there another one over here from no way he can escape now all right David ladies and gentlemen the beauty [Applause] [Applause] all right okay now what do you I don't wanna are you putting okay men account and you had it will become smaller David okay good you have gently but very gently was bad yeah push back push yourself it infected take your time for all right ladies and gentlemen wow I [Applause] actually hear people in the audience booing that was it was that was that some kind of trick yeah I don't know yeah maybe he only did this old trick what do you know who is here is if you know you had a few months you did this old tricks yeah yeah that's big for the schola yeah I guess you're right anyway the main thing is that you escaped and you've had this bigger than you go so let us yeah that's the main thing I escaped in my head is bigger than the whole [Applause] [Music] you quick story quick story a story I was out I've had dinner outside and a restaurant with a sidewalk area I was a little cafe a woman comes up to me and I'm having a thick steak and she says I hate to just I don't like to disturb you while you're eating all right I said yeah she says but I'm from Oklahoma well so I said oh well that's the end of this start well ask you ask me what I did I also have a little did you okay what did you do today over the weekend I went across the river over to the Meadowlands there in New Jersey they had this automobile race yes it was great fun and you go around and you look at everything and you're having a lot of fun and during the course of like a pit stop I had these special credentials I could be anywhere I wanted to be be all right in the pit crew and and they had these pneumatic wrenches you know these were yeah change the tires with it yeah that's exactly I was inadvertently during the the chaos it doesn't it seems like chaos but of course it's not it's carefully orchestrated activity anyway this this pneumatic thing here yeah let me know when that gets on your nerves no no I like it just like the way it said this pneumatic wrench is tossed up in the air and it hits me on the head Lana and I received quite a blow to the head and for like the next day and a half I I didn't know the difference between gravy and sauce was just a little I was just a little hazy there on the difference we've been one avian are you okay no oh I'm fine now which is which then well it is gravy how the gravy is the stuff you all right you haven't recovered yikes hey let's do this top 10 and then we're I tell you what before we do that let's call our friend across the street this meg parson she's over there Paul local music plays how can you turn on the external camera for us well I run this down Meg of course is a an assistant in the publicity department and she works over there at the Simon and Schuster building that's it it's right across 49th Street and let's see if we can see her that should be Meg's office right there I think that's Meg okay get ready I'm dialing now here we go and then we'll just chat a little bit with the lovely Meg before we kick off the big program okay I understand she's had a birthday since we last chatted how old a woman do you think she might be Paul okay all right let's see hello hello hello hello hello Meg it's me Dave across the street can we put your voice on the air turn around give everybody a big way [Applause] how have you been how is your summer going it's it's been going fine how is your big birthday celebration that was a while ago great yeah how long ago was it it was Memorial Day weekend oh so it has been quite a while ago hasn't it yeah and and how old a woman might you be now Paul thinks you're 26 27 28 28 well congratulations but then we really didn't miss your birthday did we no well I was let me believe we had missed it I'm sorry didn't we give you a gift or something you certainly did the largest bottle of wine I ever spoke yeah that's right now it's all coming back to me but you know what I'm having trouble with is this gravy sauce thing yeah what never mind meg what are you going on vacation I haven't figured that out I guess I oughta start thinking yeah yeah how much vacation time do you get two weeks and are you thinking of maybe a trip staying around town nope I'd like to get out of town for a while if I could yeah what was the last time you were actually out of town literally out of town like even upstate yes yeah literally out of town oh that's fun yeah and were you accompanied by Tony yeah how how is Tony Tony fine does Tony ever ask about me yeah do you think do you think it makes Tony nervous that I phone you from time to time probably yeah yeah probably not okay okay hey listen listen here's the deal make quick work quick quick run get the fire extinguisher it's out in the hall it's down by the loading elevator no no it's right in the hallway no no no no you don't understand it's in the hallway quick the co2 fire extinguisher we'll be right back go get it please hey okay Harry Oh [Applause] somebody let me know the second she is returned with the fire extinguisher in the meantime let's start our top 10 list tonight's category from the home office in Lebanon Pennsylvania top 10 things oh this is a tricky one Paul listen carefully top ten things Elvis would say if he were alive to witness Robert Fulton's demonstration of the first steamboat whoa that's right if Elvis had lived earlier in history they naturally Lea to in in 1807 the demonstration of the first steamboat it was Clermont was the name of the steamboat and had Elvis been there here now at the top of top 10 things he would have been overheard overheard overheard to have said here we go number 10 man look at that steamboat go number 9 that Robert Fulton is some kind of genius number 8 any more of those biscuits left well I don't think there are ten of those all right let's see if mag has the fire extinguisher hello Meg hi well that's a lovely skirt by the way are those little hearts or in little dots little dots our hearts stop okay ah all right open the window if you can Meg I think you get the gist of where this might be going but but but as with with all of our high-rise experimentation meg please safety first okay all right here we go just pull those wide open oh it looks like they painted it could they've painted it closed oh I bet oh damn they painted the window because the last time we talked to you it wasn't that red color just all hear this go yeah you open the window this will help watch this don't don't break a nail sir you know that's right Meg because on this side of it it's ripped look at this quick get the crowbar yeah well this leaves us with two options you you search the office for a window that hasn't been sitting hey wait a man who's this woman here now looks like some sort of human aquarium we're looking at I know idea they were right in there yeah okay so here are our options you can one go to a window you think might be open or - or - just detonate the thing there in your office well come on how about turn it on this guy like to see you in a tie sir if you're working all right that's right come on Meg just fill up the office with co2 I know that's all right just now justjust just tap the machine let's just see a little smoke come out of there I got a co2 it's harmless what am i doing just fill up the office with it put down the phone and give it a shot all right thank you put down the phone and activate the fire extinguishers in the meantime more to get us one of the NBC sharpshooters to blow out that window [Applause] [ __ ] you have a nice summer bye-bye [Applause] what do we finish a now or do it later well what do we do Marty are we on Tara huh do it an hour later are you sure another top ten list oh the real the real top ten top ten attractions well you talk about dumb stinking awful luck yeah what a seal the windows I know crazy they must have known we were coming but that was it yeah from the Home Office in Lebanon Pennsylvania top ten attractions and exhibits at the new Nixon Library ah being dedicated Friday Yorba Linda California where you're Belinda my Belinda yes that's right yes your honor [Applause] [Music] [Applause] is interesting about that thing with Meg in the window being sealed shut weasels at work didn't want us to have any fun so they ordered all of those windows sealed shut no yeah - is what happened - did you notice how quickly and how eagerly all of her co-workers were and helpful to run in there and an assist her in goofing off through seconds they were there yeah boom they were right there yeah okay on the program tonight hunters & collectors they were here pretty good Gary's my dad yep yeah where do the kids are so in wrench Warren I think that's the first time we had a French horn in with the band is that true yeah yeah cool Jeff Daniels was here also Howard Stern tomorrow kids here's the program tomorrow hothouse flowers David Brenner and Michael J Fox have a good night ladies and gentlemen see you tomorrow [Applause] [Music] [Music] you I hope to god he is not coming here that window and that you could notice that do you feel it's in the middle of a story so I go up there and I get the change of address I come out I get into the elevator I'm the only one in the elevator as it turns out thank God that was a good thing the doors closed and suddenly there's a little thumb boom it just kind of grinds everything goes black I don't hear anything it's all dead and then the elevator car starts to slide a little bit I'm on the 98th floor of this building have you seen these world trade tower things they're huge the thing starts to slide slowly at first and then it gradually picks up steam and i black out I'm not cold for like 17 18 seconds boom the next thing I know the doors pop open and there I am on the eighth floor it dropped like ninety floor holy cow yeah yeah you were actually there what you were actually there well no but I I thought it'd make a pretty good story let's do this let's call our friend across the street our good friend over there at the Simon and Schuster building how turn on that external camera way and we'll see if we can see her this is a big part Sun to open the blinds please there and that's the Simon & Schuster building directly south of us on 49th Street and is that Meg right there is that her are we looking yes I believe that is the lovely Meg she can't hear us now and we're gonna phone her over there and their chat with it for a bit looks like she might be on the phone although you can't tell for all that hair all right let me see if I have the number here yeah Paul the damn car fell 90 stories yeah and I live to tell about it alright do I need to dial anything but just the number here just a number thank you and thanks for that lightning response to the question - by the way I can't wait why can't I ever dial a number on this damn phone waited - what do you mean waited too long for the dial tone what do you mean you can't wait longer than a couple of seconds for the dial tone in thank you NBC ladies and gentlemen the home of blank stares god I hope I got in under the time limit here when did the phone company start with a time limit on the dial tone did they do that they do why hi hi Meg it's me Dave your friend over at NBC can we put your voice on the air turn around give everybody a great big way yeah oh you weren't the dentist yeah what would you have done I had a cavity change a cavity change moved from an upper to a lower that's convenient now you know the importance of flossing I guess are you flossing yes okay are you brushing regularly yeah okay are you watching your diet yeah do you eat a lot of sweets not that much okay how many cavities do you think you have in your mouth six fillings any new ones this is an old one all right well make you know your folks and I are worried sick about you what are those flowers there that look like they're dead you got a lot of flowers there what's that I see they're blue in color aren't they purple yeah purple were they a gift to you from someone from myself whoa oh that's very nice treat yourself to some flowers what are you working on right now mag I'm working on our 1991 budget no how's it look it looks um looks okay trying to figure out how much money we can here's what you do pencil in there a big fat raise for yourself I'd like to do that and I'll make sure that that goes through Hey hey Meg hear about the big blackout downtown yesterday yeah you know I was caught in an elevator in the World Trade Towers yeah I was up there on the 98th floor getting a change of address form the damn car fell 90 stories still here yeah yeah and well I had shoes on and and also Meg there's a time limit from the from the second you pick up the phone you only have a few seconds to make that call did you realize that no I didn't yeah because we're running out of dial tones oh my god we have to conserve dial tone okay are you having a nice summer yeah how was your weekend fine what'd you do trying to remember oh one of those okay I understand and you have a vacation coming up yes next week where you going I'm going up to my family oh that sounds like a lot of fun yeah you'll be there for the whole week well I hope you have nice weather you know I'm going on vacation next week you are yeah yeah well I'll just be in the crawlspace of my house meg Meg how long have we known you February so what is that six months eight months I don't know I can't figure this out I would like to do something nice to you because you've been a really good friend of ours I would like to treat you now now think about it don't don't answer too quickly I would like to treat you now to a trim and a shampoo now relax Meg where you going Hey No she steamed she got up no I'm I'm only saying as a nice gesture of friendship no your hair is lovely thank you in fact I commented on it earlier but if if you were interested in like a little trim or a shampoo we're we're gonna do it for you right now is that anything you're interested in not at this particular moment yeah all right I tell you what I'm gonna give you a second to think this over now if you decide you don't want to do this how about some of those geeks you work with over there yeah we got a guy standing by he's gonna come in there and lather you all up and it'll be fun all right all right all right now let's do it do me a favor I got other things to do here you quick you know you sure you don't want to do this I'm positive I have to actually get going Oh it's a wonderful opportunity no it is yes a lovely opportunity right here all right all right see if you can get somebody else over there to take it take us up on this all right well no it's it's it's it's not like it's a guy who just got off the bus it's a regular hair guy yeah he's gonna come over and he will if they want it you know it'll be a trim and a set and a shampoo and that kind of thing okay and maybe a tattoo all right Meg you come back when you get this hammered down okay huh okay she's wild about the idea Paul [Applause] yeah think about it we have meetings about this stuff all day long well she's gonna try and see if we can't get somebody over there let's do the top pen category are we late already no are we okay are we late all right here we go category top ten Marion Barry campaign slogans he's resigned from the Democratic Party and is now joining the independent party and may run again probably run again now let me know the second Meg returns of the window will you thank you very much here we go number ten now I'm addicted to public service number nine in America's Funniest Home Video number eight just say yes number seven number seven I'm a Kennedy number six he's ready to personally confiscate drugs number five let's put a little Columbia into the District of Columbia [Applause] all of a sudden she's got to go the first time in eight months she's had to leave early I really number-four hey here's your Justice Department Powell number three he'll get the hookers off the streets and into the hotel rooms number two number two imagine the victory party number one to marionberry campaign slogan I'm very very sorry [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right Meg who is this this is Cara who works across the hall from me I'm sorry her first name Hera spell that pa RA pa RA hello Terra you can't hear me but thank you very much I guess you're gonna get just a shampoo or a trim I think she just got 12 inches cut off her hair so she wants to keep it so it's just a wash all right you couldn't do this for us Meg I ordinarily wouldn't have to subcontract this stuff now never mind okay well we'll keep an eye on you thank you very much we gotta go we'll be right back folks [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right look pretty good didn't it hello Meg all right it's me so now see what this have been so bad no it wouldn't have no no no no don't punish yourself for heaven's sakes but it's still fun don't you think hey did this Terra seem to be enjoying this yeah please I think could I speak with her please hello Terra hi how are ya everything all right over there great okay you know meg was telling us some wonderful things about you and the work you're doing over there you know just what a wonderful co-worker you are and how dedicated you are and friendly and personable and well frankly the world over we're all very impressed over here oh yeah all right well good luck with the hair thing all right thank all right we'll talk with you later it's Tara Paul did you see Tara I know what can I put this on hold is there a time limit on that never heard of such a thing if you don't place that call the split second you pick up the receiver you're done done Sam life's getting tougher than it used to be I remember when I was in the Cub Scouts it wasn't this hard simple then [Music] now the other guy from Little Feat doesn't it trouble him that he's not out here having all this fun where is he now he's fast washed yeah stage crying and ending yeah later on the program a big number from the folks in little feet and our abandons I would hope yes and also Fran Lebowitz will be joining us in a couple of minutes tomorrow tomorrow ladies and gentlemen Buddy Hackett will be here that's that's right Buddy Hackett will be here at doubts only that's right musician of Zachary Rashard he is fabulous yeah and Christian Slater who's that but the cows are coming home let's let's see how the the hair thing is going over there how can you punch that camera there it's taking place over the shoes of being is that just a drying or a styling or both how do you know how oh hey al have you ever had your hair dried or styled yeah would you like to have it styled someday come up to the office oh there's Meg's holding on the liner hi Meg it's me it's Dave hey how's it going good mag I thought you had to leave alright how's how's Tara doing okay alright can you turn it have her just turn around away from us so we can see what she looks like a little bit here sure yeah all right I gotta put you on hold here now okay [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] now the other little feat guy has been sent away again he's been put out of the building he was tossed out he was 86 he misbehaves somehow he was here now let's look across the street quickly one more time all right this is Tara can clear tell it gotta get other way hey hey you you there beat it lean well yeah there you go this is a lovely young woman over there very nice our next guest is a high [Music] Rann thank you very much for being here hello meg Meg we'd like you and your little friend Tara to be on the show every night all right okay that sounds okay tell her thank you for us do you want to thank no you just say thank you we gotta go I have a nice evening okay the boys from Little Feat thank you gentlemen [Applause] you know I want to tell you something when every night when you do that it's exciting but when you hit it right on the money I'm telling you man it's like New Year's Eve in here Paul quickly a little dialing music do you mind you have some dialing music [Music] coming our friend Meg across the street there at where does she work Simon and Schuster here we go Oh quickly okay okay great thank you very much for the dialing music Paul this is the 14th floor looking south across 49th Street to the Simon & Schuster building here in the vast hey hey Meg it's me Dave how you doing okay can we talk to you on the air yes of course we says fine hi waived everyone there Meg hi and nice to see you Meg yeah you had a vacation didn't you yeah what's your vacation um I went out to Southampton where my family has a house yeah was it you and your folks yes yes I was you mom and dad I see so how many it again is you and two stepsisters and a nice and a stepmom and did you have a lot of fun yeah we had a great time except we tried taking the ferry from Montauk to Newport Rhode Island wow that's quite a trip isn't it well it was also very choppy water and I got seasick and it wasn't so much fun yeah did you did you wrap up like a goat yeah you know there's nothing the worst thing about being seasick is one minute you're fine right and then the next minute your lips start to vibrate and it's too late yeah did did your boyfriend Tony go out there with you no you did Oh cute that now does the family like Tony yes I think yeah they're in favor of him they like the idea of Tony yeah and and how do you feel about Tony now everything fine with you okay all right do you have any photos from your vacation no I broke my camera Oh what kind of camera do you have cheap automatic yeah well maybe Santa will get you another cheap camera and and go ahead and ask me about my vacation lovely time guess what I did 150 on the Autobahn that's great yeah there's a lot of fun you know meg did you happen to see the Miss America pageant to Saturday night now I have to admit I am you didn't see it do you know who the new Miss America is yeah but do you know what state and all do you know anything about her what state no honey you're making a fool of yourself alright she's a missile annoy or as we say in Indiana miss Illinois and and she's on the program tonight right yeah and also Bruce Hornsby and one of the Rangers so now every time I phone oh by the way what happened to that woman whose hair we washed that night she's still here what was her name Tara Tara yeah is she around not in my office no I know that but I mean is she on the same floor yes what are you possible just to get a look at her I could try to get someone to find her sure okay but pretend like we're not on TV so we just kind of get a candid look at it okay now Meg also what we thought we would do if you're gonna be there a few more minutes we're going to ask the new Miss America to come over and say hello to you in your office okay so see if you can't get together like a little reception have those boneheads you work with send out for crackers and candy and sodas okay okay and then maybe invite that Tara over okay okay all right now don't hang up we'll chat with you from time to time okay I'm glad you had a nice vacation Meg okay thank you very much okay that's [Applause] I think they're just go away here sure let's let's do our first yeah and then we'll bring out in this America we got a great program Jack Hanna with the zoo animals Bruce Hornsby and that's right the brand-new 1991 Miss America Miss Illinois Margery Judith Vincent we'll be right back with all of us [Music] [Applause] [Music] yeah can we look out there again can we see if it makes a Meg can you hear me are you there yeah yeah did you find that girl that Tara yeah just bring her in tell her you got to talk to her about some expense account oh yeah hey what's the deal on that horse there some kind of pinata yeah we tried to make it as festive as possible yeah you know I I believe the new Miss America actually is Mexican so you've done it hey Meg oh yeah that's the big bottle of wine isn't it so we're ready to party yeah meg did you see the US Open I've served been following it but not that close yeah well it's over so quit following it yeah how about that guy who won wasn't he something 19 years old yeah quite a player now see I had a dream that maybe the the new US Open winner and the new Miss America would start dating and fall in love but all right we'll talk it up when she comes over well no they're not here they're coming here first and they're coming over to your place all right so I don't want you guys sloppy drunk by the time she arrived all right so a lot of Tara will be back in a minute okay okay that's a big party over there Paul Miss America a pinata and wine yes [Applause] see that's why this is Miss America's first actual television those are the things you can do in your sleep really oh yeah that Regis and Kathie Lee thing yeah and the Today Show you can doze right through that probably she probably did here we go from the Home Office in Lebanon Pennsylvania before Miss America in 1991 arrives the category tonight from our top ten defiled top ten surprises in President Bush's speech you know tonight he addresses the joint houses of Congress in a televised speech top ten surprises in that speech which will have it was full of aired earlier this evening that's that's the reason we're not on till 4:00 we're normally on at 12:30 tonight we're coming on at 4:00 loriann and I think it's actually for 11 or 11 coincidentally the height of my first wife did you know that for 11 here we go and and what now this is a silly question but is there one boy you were really surprised by the by the announcement weren't you is there one moment or one feeling that you'll carry with you of the rest of your life aside from this interview here tonight for no really the worst part is just kidding that's right I can't [Music] all right now Marjorie do you mind going across the street to see her friend Meg now let's take a look at meg you don't you do mind just kidding I know see if there's an egg there there are future snipers of America over there you know it'll be right the party will begin when you arrive all right so we'll take a look at you over there nice can you congratulations [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] gather the finales there's like eight of them and the youngest kid is in his mid-30s and the oldest one is almost retired and suddenly at a point in their lives they don't know what to do so they all move back in with mom who's in her 90s that's the premise that's the big show Wow now let's see what that party looks like quickly can we see ya is Miss America there yet okay let us know the second she oh there's Meg waiting for me to pick up the phone okay now this looks like fun Paul who has more fun than we do here on a little video TV Club no one Dan exactly [Music] hey man don't don't let on like you're talking to me but what do you think is she all right yes hey she hit it all right with the other kids yeah do you think they party looks a little slow here well you know we didn't have enough time to do better than getting some chuckles from the candy machine that's alright did you bust open the wine that was actually the wine that you sent over from my birthright I know open it up open it up and see what happens it's open I think it might have ferment it a little bit okay all right well so you think everything is all right yeah I think we can send up dip if you need it if you wanted that would be fine this is the great thing about America did you when you woke up this morning imagine in your wildest dreams that Miss America would be standing there in your office I gotta go have fun over there bye-bye the hell are you doing to me a lot of foam there I'm sorry put that down I don't want on my jacket is that a jacket lizard yeah the sungazer this rouser lizard it's my son Miss America wasn't here to hear that I think you did yourself a big favor here tonight you need it of course well you were telling me earlier that you play hello man hey how's the big party going big parties going okay yeah it doesn't sound like a great time well it's okay anybody drunk and he catfights any hair pulling slapping catfights who and who's that fat guy in the back there drinking the soda no wonder the party is no fun listen say goodbye to Miss America for us all right thank you very much big all right that's a dullest party in North America right there Bruce thank you very much and are you are you touring now you're with the Grateful Dead or sab solutely what you hear about I just heard about that we're doing our own and then I'm doing the dead shows - so basically gives me no days off good well if you ever get a day off please come back here at my place ah what we're done hey we got to go we'll see you tomorrow night folks thank you very much [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you very much [Applause] yeah what is everything I read I see you conferring with a cam really Harden I was over there chatting with Bailey you were I just went over to say hello and that's nice it's nice to develop a relationship with your crew yeah how you doing I'm fine you know speaking of karai think this is really more than a crew this is a family it's a family it's a love kind of family you know speaking of families I've been watching The Today Show I watched The Today Show here on NBC the morning show Jane Pauley is gone as you know Bryant Gumbel is there now Tippi Hedren took over know what's her name you had ready took off whenever I can't think of a name I just say Tippi Hedren what's your name Andrew huh what's your name huh Fame Barbra Barbra who Debra North pretty exactly yes yeah Deborah Norville Bryant Gumble Joe Garagiola and then your regular cast you have Ed McMahon and I don't know Johnny Tippi Hedren I don't know yeah so what a judge gene Shalit most yeah yeah all right and so and so now that's you're on NBC now over on ABC they have the Good Morning America they have that over there yeah now you know I don't know if you wear this when when Jane Pauley left to go off and pursue her singing career good Good Morning America there there audience like doubled overnight virtually double over yes so all of us in the industry we're interested by this and so we kind of kept a close eye on The Good Morning America and now over the last two six seven months they've continued to maintain this vast morning viewing audience so periodically I'll check in to see what they're doing all right now this morning they had a closing of the show at 8:55 they have a big number with Peter Allen really yeah one of those REO we're going to Rio Hey we're going to Rio yeah they do where they are they do one of those and and they have like a full band and I'm think Jesus this Good Morning America yes it is Good Morning America and it finishes up and when when Peter Allen finishes up with his Rio stuff you hear Charlie Gibson the host of the show he says this whoa no then then you hear Joan Lunden the other host of the show she says this whoa I was stunned by that I couldn't think I couldn't think of anything else the rest of the day but there's there's Peter Allen hey it's going to rego yeah and then Charlie Gibson America's most trusted morning show host and his co-host anchor and all they can say is that's crazy I don't blame you it's not what you expect to hear you don't expect to see Peter Allen at five minutes and 9:00 in the morning you know they're doing the big sleeves and the thing that's that well I guess that's how you get ratings that early in the morning hey you know let's let's call over there we got a did you know anything about this book by the way oh that book that time there's a big late night book up now our friend a Meg across the hall there at the Simon & Schuster top tell Hal turn on the external camera oh yeah all right that's our director there open the blinds [Applause] alright now let's call Meg we've known Meg for orgies has it been a year Paul do you think as she works in the pocketbooks division of Simon & Schuster publishing and if she knows anything huh her window is right across yeah there she is wonderful auburn hair look at that she's a lovely woman we've grown to know her we've grown to love her and the phone should be ringing any minute now hey we're gone - yes we're gone to Rio hey hey itself meg it's me Dave hey how are ya wave to America there make one of those flowers you have their power oh did we hear Meg I was supposed to ask if we can put her voice on the air oh I'm sorry making her can we put your voice on the air yeah okay what are those flowers they're made they're just decorative I think they're called status yeah status yeah let me see that lay you haven't looks like you have a little suit on a little dress what is that oh yeah that's very nice could you stand up is that new very very nice Meg [Applause] and the guy I just like to add woo Meg hello hello well now what happened here did I disconnect her oh I disconnected oh man all right Paul dialling music Paul we have to call Meg back it's dialing music time how could I have disconnected for Magne she probably hates me yeah it ought to be some kind of law you don't need Peter Allen on television before noon now she's gone oh no make his god worse oh hey Meg it's me you were it was only Meg we were just disconnected I'm sorry but you gave me a heart attack there you vanished no anyway so Meg how have you been yeah have you missed me well sure yeah what'd you do this weekend I went to my tenth year high school reunion wow you went to high school yeah it's a it's a joke meg I'm just joking with you how was that it was better than I had thought where does that take place and and did did had people recognize you from the show had they seen you from being on TV at all a few not not too many [Music] you know we have this book here we have the big late-night top 10 book now is it published by your company yeah is it is it Simon and Schuster or is it pocket book now you know they gave us like a huge advance for this oh yeah yeah like like a million dollars or something yeah yeah yeahs is the thing out is it selling now is it on the streets yeah and is it doing well are people upset about it are they pleased about it I think they're pretty pleased their police so far all right have you got a copy there yeah yeah quick can you get one for us oh I love the way she pushes people around over there he just snaps her fingers and people race around hey you ever watch Good Morning America I have did you see it this morning no Peter Allen was on did you watch well of course being being a big Peter Allen fan I I have the scrapbook I like to update as often as I can all right Megan out do me a favor I'll hold the big book up here close to the window so we can see what it looks like all right now there's there's my goofy looking face nutmeg you see those blue things those blue little dangles you know what those are yeah but you know they're supposed to be like these blue cards here see the ones that I'm holding there they're supposed to be those as if we were throwing those in the air yeah yeah have you read the book yeah but but the question of course Meg was have you read the book yes cover to cover I understand it's quite a page-turner yeah Meg how's that Tara was that her name yeah that was her name yeah she still worked there she does I think she's fine yeah well give her my best she's a lovely woman isn't very nice oh you don't know that well how old a woman is she okay Meg that's a prat for another time now now can you do me a favor and and page through that and and just find a little list there and and you'll read top ten list for us when I do you mind doing that no okay I'm by the way I'm sorry about that disconnect it really wasn't my fault I'm sorry no it wasn't your father you just though you sounded kind of huffy okay just leaf right through there find an extra funny one because we'd like to get out from under this advance you know okay let's see campus top-10 least favorite least popular suit okay ladies and gentlemen tonight's top ten category has Campbell's top ten least favorite soups are you ready Meg okay number ten cream of gristle cream of gristle number nine tomato Garagiola tomatoes Garagiola all right old fashioned grease and weasel old fashioned grease and weasel okay continue please number seven mink bisque number seven is mink bisque number six is turkey with platform eight thirteen was flat for me alright five tap water and lawn trimmings number five is bath water and lawns earnings number four Turkish prison surprise we all like that one okay number three Bryant gumbo [Music] five barley what was Ella's number two is one side burns barley side burns in barley okay and the number one at least popular example soup is that hatton style Windex and shrimp [Applause] [Music] okay all right we all said hey we got a great show Blair Brown is here why that meg is sweet isn't she she's a great nice solid woman is the greatest how old a woman do you think she is no we establish I think she's like 26 or 27 2000 and TC Boyle author TC Boyle author of East is east we'll be out here in a minute what else am I forgetting anything all right well I do a commercial and then they come on back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] are you gonna make us go back to the schedule where we do Wednesday matinee Saturday matinee yeah we're thinking of installing an afternoon show on Wednesday so if you holding tickets for a Wednesday show we may do an early one that would be like one yeah we do a literally short one so you can come you can still have luncheon and then enjoy the fine show and then do your shopping and then get the hell out of town right and then of course we do the evening show we'd move the evening show that night to 7:00 I see we move it we move it back yeah what are we gonna do in between shows that's always such a dress go up to the Rainbow Room and drink alright yeah did you have a nice weekend yeah I did I oh you know what I did I flew to Cleveland and and I introduced this year's inductees Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's yeah I having actually broken ground for the rock and roll no not yet but they're sure they want it in Cleveland there yes and we're confident that we're gonna have we're gonna see it built in Cleveland absolutely because the Cleveland sound has been so instrumental in rock and roll music I'm not sure why I don't know why no wonder those folks would get the Rock and Roll Hall and who are the inductees if I don't have them written down but it's a lot of people the impression all the way to Cleveland and you can name them by heart oh yeah name impressions yeah John Lee Hooker write Howlin wolf Jimmy Reed Ike and Tina Turner Wow The Byrds how do you think Ike will actually be there I think I could maybe detained really exactly sure about a way on other business right that's what I did on my weekend what did you do this week a lovely weekend you know I don't know I the simple things in life are the things that charm me the most there's this where I live this town where I live there's this video store and every year Saturday and Sunday families go in there to rent the video so I walked in there and I would kind of waited around and finally somebody said may I help you and I said sort of loudly and as a dumb guy said yeah you got goosed bed oh man I'm telling you we laughed we laugh tell her tell our sides hurt over them they get your dumb guy character yeah I don't know why I go in there anymore because there's nothing ever in there I really want to see and and I and I don't own a VCR so I get out can't figure out why you would walk in there hey you know you came on a good night ladies and gentlemen it's time for another one of Hal Gurney's Network Time killers Hal are you in there al gurney our director has been the last 45 years al journey Network time killers hi hi how how you doing Dave hi how was your weekend terrific they're good what do you have for us tonight he'll tell me how do you feel about Polynesian dance numbers Dave I'm sorry how how do I feel about what Polynesian dance numbers he'll you know as god almighty as my witness in heaven above I enjoy Polynesian dance numbers as much as the next guy horrific that I think you can enjoy this from South Pacific review one second how is that Patty Hearst behind you wanted to notify the authorities I thought that was her okay back to the car yeah here we go turkey from the South Pacific review and land o lakes florida ah here we get to Eva C donate and what's in a Samoan fire dance [Applause] [Applause] [Music] but to me that is unbelievable that to me is unbelievable two nights ago three nights ago in Las Vegas he knocks out Buster Douglas and tonight he's here fire batons that's not the same oh my god they're back [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] it gets some black flag for the skirts now you know Paul we a little dialing music if you don't mind a little dialing music we're calling across the street to our good friend Meg parse on how do me a favor turn on the external camera if you will and we're calling over there at the Simon & Schuster there is the 14th floor look how nice it's dark out now because you change your clocks by the way yeah I got confused I changed all my light bulbs no I want to tell you something every time I do this you when you change your light bulbs for some reason I don't know if light bulbs are cheaper than they used to be yeah but mine always bust off in the socket as you're unscrewing them yeah when the thing goes dead and you think oh I have to change the bulb you get up in there and then the bulb part itself will break out of the little screw thing the worst yeah and then and then you have to put on the rubber boots you have to go downstairs you have to find the circuit breaker you have to kill the circuit breaker and then you have to go back up there to extricate the the rest of the light bulb yeah yeah I wonder I'm asking myself jeez could they possibly be making light bulbs cheaper these it's cheaper now no well you have to be grounded no no it's because of so I don't want to complete the electrical circuit that's right I'm insulating my translating yourself yeah I try to do that a lot myself have you ever changed a light bulb in your lunch of course I have here we go a step ladder at home dialing music please [Music] okay there she is oh there's the lovely Meg look at those people hanging around out there they know something's up look at those near dwells those pinheads those executive blowhards those hey hey Meg it's me Dave how you doing hey wave to everybody in America there's lovely Meg birthday [Applause] meg how have you been are you enjoying a lovely autumn here in New York yeah what did you do over the weekend how far upstate did you go oh nice up there and did a lot of relaxing you still have your boyfriend Tony yeah how's he doing okay well good and he's what does he do for a living he's an architect okay and has he ever actually designed anything that was built yeah there's a building over on East 72nd Street a luxury apartment building he designed it well he designed a lot of it and he designed the you're kidding I wouldn't kid you also this guy's not just a bonehead there hey for Evans sakes my apologies I would have been much nicer had I known this now so here's something to do so maybe if you have some time you go over there and take some snapshots of the building and show them to us next time okay do you mind doing that no I don't mind no dude this Tony mind you being on the show like this I don't good for Tony he seems like a very nice young man yeah and how about your friend what's her name well I always inquire after her yeah you know oh who had her hair her hair yeah I had her hair game she's doing time does he ever ask about me um pretty much every day Hey hey Meg how about that how about that book how's it doing is we're making any money on the book oh it's doing really well hitting the bestseller list yeah it's like a number three this week on yeah oh yeah I'm flying high as a kite now I think I think the reason we called you tonight is jeez I'm having trouble remembering why you called oh you call we called you I'm breathing kerosene fumes we had fire dancers now now Meg if you could if you could I think what we want you to do you get the sparklers we sent you ask some of those morons in the hallway if there's charcoal yeah bark Adam scream at him hey getting it where the sparklers try that wait a minute who's that woman you're talking to well tell her I said oh you have an assistant yeah good for you okay all right now Meg what we want you to do is close that door so there's no light coming in from the outer office there okay from the hallway okay Kristen close the door and then beat it I think it's nice that you and Kristen dress alike don't do it I know I know how that goes all right now now now you have a lighter there and the sparklers I have to later but I don't know if I know how to use one all right don't know how to use a lighter yeah well wouldn't match us be way over your head if you don't know anything Hey okay now now Meg now see what we want you to do here is turn out the lights in your office this is gonna be like a little because it gets darker earlier we want to just see if this looks like anything can you do this yeah but for heaven's sakes safety first all right ooh okay now we still have this other thing here I guess you can see that as well can't you okay hey Paul maybe a little music for this some sort of special effect all right now Meg light him up there are you still there Meg wow this is pretty cool isn't it okay all right let's see what happens with some music okay we don't see the match being this bright instructor I have it oh there there okay all right now now light the sparkler and get get ready oh it's too bad you don't know how to operate a lighter that's right I don't want you to feel any pressure for me because I like you and I'm and I'm fond of you and I'm happy for the wonderful relationship that's developed over the last few months okay here we go now hold it to the tip of the sparkler Oh Oh while you're doing this try and undress No you know we had guys carrying torches like a minute ago dancing around here well maybe the here we go all right now if this doesn't work send one of those the flame guys over there to light up our office I mean I have this parkland [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] cuz it doesn't know how to operate a cigarette lighters na well these days kids grow up not the boys are back ok here what [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] do me a favor and see if you can't send Rallo with the torches over to Meg's so I see if he can get in there and dance and then with the flames and we'll see it across the street do I do what okay thank you very much Henry will be here also Aaron Neville where we're with the band man sounding grapes and other guys yeah Anna and hula had wick on background vocals oh good she's you've been here many many times yes and John Tropez on the acoustic guts string yeah we'll look forward to that tomorrow on the program father Guido Sarducci will be here people actually gasping and wonder hmm father Sarducci is here LL Cool J unbelievably happy this is quite an a kind of an odd show and also al unser jr. it is its father Guido Sarducci yeah LL Cool J and Allan Houser jr. ah let's see what are we doing now hey you know they canceled that oh hi ever see that yeah I didn't get to see it I blinked yeah it's like the first NBC to the C show and it's going on yeah do you know what the deal on the show was what was it about as I understand it Hal turn on the external camera are those guys over there yet the okay alright good America is this [Applause] what would there be a better reason to call 9-1-1 all right now typhoon Meg up all right now let me call her up there and see if we eat now are they gonna be able to set fire to their torches over there all right yeah so they canceled that Hall High and you know what it is Paul it's it's like cop Rock everybody was singing except every class in the high school was aerobics that Meg's talking to them and trying to get them to listen to reason hello hello oh my god she's changed your number why why why can't I dial seven silly numbers did I do something wrong dialing all right here we go how we doing on time we're gonna just get it through here come on hello you know I can just go upstairs and scream or Cather she hello oh okay one more time I may be going to MCI Oh [Applause] oh thank god Meg you're all right thanks okay you know what these guys are gonna do don't you yeah they're gonna do some dancing and they're gonna turn out they're gonna set fire to their torches how are you guys getting along by the way very well they're very nice that does it does it smell like poi over there all right okay all right uh Meg all you have to do I guess is is turn off the lights and run for your life okay okay all right don't hang up I want to hear what this sounds like okay Paul we have a little music from you will supply the music over there all right good yeah turn off the light oh they're like halt it's my favorite part of the show here we go across the hall they're lighting up now Wow man I don't know I don't know maybe if you could see it over there but here it was spectacular road flares are they aren't they aren't they supposed to be dancing around and stuff well you want them to dance around even more they wanted to make sure they could beat what were they actually dancing around yeah they're wheeling around a lot I'm not sure I want to see that but we wanted to see them like twirl in the fire and that kind of crap dancers now yeah here we go this is it oh that's much better that's perfect wait wait [Applause] and very embarrassed because that was my idea thought it'd be fun to see them over there dancing around and it just okay like guys waiting for a bus well like miner is waiting to be rescued the best laid plans what are we doing let's do a commercial what the hell is [Applause] [Music] [Applause] again sitting here with us this evening on guitar celebrating a birthday areas ready birthday to Joe Walsh [Applause] where's all dressed up you look good Joe thank you very much for being back here when was the last time you were here yeah all right that's that's close enough Joe thank you very much close enough for our records you know speaking of music I just want to say one thing here and I hope I don't make a fool of myself I'm really really upset about something what is that so well this Milli Vanilli deal yes all right first of all to you now when when they first when they first as the kids say hit the scene yeah I I went out and I bought one of their CDs and I loved it and I brought it back to the office and I guess I made everybody crazy because I'd play it day in and day out and I played it a little too loudly did that yeah yeah I just went nuts with it I wrote out a Milli Vanilli exactly okay all right so okay now and when they won the Grammy Hall I was well I was I was like a little kid on Christmas you know that doesn't sound like you but okay yeah and and I I suffered I took a lot of heat and people sneered and made derisive comments yeah and so now they have their problem this little little problem and they're they've they've had their Grammy taken away yeah and I and I see radio stations now and on television stations they're destroying all Milli Vanilli CDs ah I just want to say I'm still behind you guys if you want to make another album and not sing on that one too I'm buying it anyway okay [Applause] [Music] they've been persecuted enough these guys I got a it's true I got a say well ask one question what are going along with that are they gonna take away Sergio Mendes album Grammy because he didn't sing he didn't sing on his record either wasn't it a girl singers yeah what about Quincy Jones he hasn't sing on his record do you have to sing on the on the record to have it to get a Grammy I don't think so don't don't you agree yeah I guess so all right hey let's it's a part of the big holiday big Thanksgiving week celebration let's float across the hall hey how turn on that external camera won't you here look at this boy what do you take a look at this this is New York City at its finest this is right across the street - that's 49th Street one block south that's the Simon and shoot Wayne and Shuster building that's the Simon & Schuster building the Briggs & Stratton building the 14th floor what who is that wait a min go down one go down one let's go go back down let me see something okay hey down into the left okay now to the left to the left all right harder right there right there harder oh that's for oh that guy okay now this this is an FBI stakeout that's what that guys doing all right back up oh yeah some lovely prints on the wall though didn't he and this should be is that Meg do we think that's lovely Meg parson who works over there it's a Simon & Schuster oh we think that's who that is and I got a call over there and see how she's doing oh I don't I did already yeah Paul they've suffered too much those kids milli and Vanilli [Music] you know I'm gonna go see him even if even if they just stand there I'm gonna go see him you know according to the New York Times when they were here at Radio City Music Hall they had technical problems and the music stopped and they ran offstage yeah like scared little bunnies hello MA get your friend Dave turn around and wave to America yeah there she is nice to see Meg your office looks a little different our things changed in there since we last saw you know maybe it's just the camera angle it looks it looks like there's been some redecorating it looks a cleaner it looks newer oh yeah Meg how's the job going there at pocketbooks it's going very well do you like those people yes I live do they like you okay yeah and and now you people had something to do with the publication of our book didn't you has this thing had just gone dead in the water is there still any any money to be made there no I think that's quite a bit of money to be paid okay will you let me know if there's any trouble okay okay uh have you been what you do for the weekend I wanted hope ball yeah what you see Oh a couple of great games huh yeah I'm trying to like football because I seem to go into withdrawal of the baseball season's over Meg there's a lot of important work going on over there isn't there [Applause] see now did you see did you see the Penn State Notre Dame game no I haven't been watching what does it want well I watched the Jets and I watched the other game with the Giants well yeah party boy the Giants look like a powerhouse this year don't they Matt yeah oh geez what was that man I need to get my prescription changed what the what the hell happened meg are you all right we're having some problems over here Meg everything seems to be okay now okay now oh and you had a lovely weekend yeah I know you're getting ready for big Thanksgiving celebration absolutely what are you gonna do um I get together in my family and we go out to my stepsister's house New Jersey we eat a lot yeah out in the country in New Jersey yeah is it a traditional Thanksgiving dinner yes what do you have we have the turkey and we have several kinds of potatoes stuffing except we might skip the stuffing this year because several people are on diets know what I found in past if you don't have time to make the stuff and get those cotton balls and you can use those yeah just a little bit of gravy and nobody knows the difference now Meg what well Oh one time one time wouldn't you like to be the big shot at the Thanksgiving dinner and just show up with the turkey that means I would have to make the turkey no no no no no you just you just show up with a turkey and let them worry about preparing it that would be great yeah okay well go out the hall and see if you can find somebody with a turkey or or perhaps they're all too busy to help all right go out there and see if we have a turkey for you meg put the phone down and say a lot of pee-wee Herman on your way out oh my god I think the turkeys coming [Applause] [Music] No all right good Happy Thanksgiving I started with [Applause] Wow let's take a look there and see if the turkey goes nuts when they oh he's petting the turkey yeah in just a second he's going to pluck Larry buds eyes out there's meg befriending the turkey that she'll soon be eating now and now she's getting nervous did you see that little whale I know it kind of yeah hello okay what are we doing here huh let's do a commercial and then and then we'll come back and begin the Big Show that is [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I'll turn on that external camera let's see that Turkey over the in the office building there's me she has beautiful hair this woman meg is a lovely young person she's adjusting something there now let's see is the turkey going the turkey just sort of sedated a it's just like Larry bud all right Hal at the first sign of bedlam over there let us know you know you know Paul I think I like milli and Vanilli better now knowing that they did knowing that they don't sing I respect them now why is that [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] and in addition to that with Paul of the band kids look Texas tornadoes [Applause] are you are you familiar with the musical phenomenon known as tex-mex yes I am Paul and are you familiar with the phenomenon of a full-length mirror [Applause] where's howdy I'm wearing this for a specific reason because we have a group here the Texas tornados and they're sitting in with us for the entire evening and they are four of the prime proponents of the tex-mex sound each of them of a star right now let me start in the front on the left ladies and gentlemen the great Freddy Finn in the back on the accordion the number one tex-mex accordionist in the world Flaco Jimenez on the quad get to him on the Vox continental organ this is the guy who played organ on all the great Tex Mex records and you're gonna hear some of his stuff later on it's the great Augie Meyers on the organ I don't know if you remember a little record call she's about a mover a record called mendocino a record call when the rains came this is Sir Douglas of the of the Sir Douglas quintet mr. Doug saw he's gonna piss all week long he's not with the Texas tornados but he's a nutty guy Francisco Centeno ladies and gentlemen [Applause] okay I can just take a second dare I'd like to do introduce every member of the audience [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Hey very funny time of my life over yeah you look great and they sound great yeah Freddy fender has one of the great voices in all of music that's absolutely correct with us tonight what the hell are we doing here oh oh oh oh this is a great night not only is it gonna be good for the music and we're in the middle of the holidays kids it's time for another one of Hal Gurney's holiday Network time killers howl Wow here's our director [Applause] [Music] iii-i'll what do you have for us tonight first of all Dave happy holidays thank you very much and your loved one how did you meet Texas tornadoes I met them all third time Dave they're actually a nice bunch of guys yeah what do you have for us tonight ow well tonight they've a staging of Tchaikovsky's beloved holiday classic The Nutcracker you know what you know it very Nutcracker yeah and and doing it is our own floor crew and stagehands oh the Nutcracker with our floor crew and stagehands this will be very nice to the holiday [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] he'll turn on the external camera will you please allegory also known as Ernie gurney is up on the 14th floor this is looking across the street that's 49th Street open the blinds please kids all right how very nice and this woman is working in the Briggs & Stratton building immediately south of us here on the sixth out of em there's a Meg parson she works for pocketbooks a division of the Simon & Schuster publishing company look at this woman's hair Paul doesn't she true a she is lovely lovely looking here I got a call over there and we're gonna see if we can't get Meg to help us with a little something here here we go okay I hope I have not missed dialed that will be Meg person we met her about a year ago I think or eight months ago she's working late as she always does they're going for the phone picks it up and now hi Meg it's me Dave what we're here at NBC how you doing turn around and wave to America [Applause] magda let me forget something before we hang up before we get off the phone tonight get everyone there on the floor you work with and introduce them to us will you please okay hi Meg how have you been doing well are you holding up under the pressure of the holidays yeah and do you have big plans for the holiday itself well I'm having Christmas brunch at my house Oh brunch is nice now what technically speaking to you serve for a brunch I think I'm gonna have lox and bagel sounds very nice okay sure and will there be a Bloody Marys Moses possibly yeah so you really get some heat on before noon is what you're trying to do right yeah and and will will Tony your boyfriend be involved in this no he's going up to be with his family upstate or not is that gonna rub you the wrong way okay you don't mind Tony's going away I think I think it's okay is this Tony thing cooled off Meg no a Meg you know your friend that what's her name the woman had her hair washed over there yeah she was here one night she came over and saw the show and she seems like a lovely woman yeah and she had lovely things to say about you oh really yeah but you're not crazy about her are you we don't really know each other that way yeah well that's not that's not quite how she explained it but let's all right Meg you know do you have any idea why we're calling oh well no normally normally yes that would be plenty and we would love to do that and certainly any time you want to chat I'll be happy to talk with you but tonight tonight we have on on the set for the first time this season our Christmas tree yeah yeah and we thought you could help us with the lighting of the tree do you mind doing that not at all okay here's our tree here right there and as you can see it's beautifully decorated but we have not switched on the electric lights yet so how is is Biff over there with the switch for Meg all right this should be Biff Henderson alright alright Meg alright just take the switch put it down there so we can see it in the windowsill that's good alright now put on those insulated gloves okay now be careful you're not standing in any water are you no no alright now how let's see the tree here in this shot and see what this looks like okay though this is beautiful all right now make and I think we need to dim the lights here so we can see what the tree looks like okay very good now Meg I tell you what at the count I'm gonna count down from three and and when you hear me say one then you say Merry Christmas and throw the switch okay what do you say one yeah I'll count from three down but you want to just practice one but don't throw this with okay three two one okay that was [Applause] alright let's practice one more time this is practice don't listen no no okay three two one okay okay that's perfect okay now now this time it will be for real okay okay the lights are dimmed the tree is ready could we have a drumroll Anton alright Meg here we go okay lighting our 1990 Christmas tree three two one [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I love all you guys okay all right hey in addition to this we got a great program tonight we'll do a commercial we'll be right back with Robin Williams [Applause] [Music] [Music]

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 1,423,430

Keywords: David Letterman, Meg Parsont

Id: 0c4pseyzDKI

Length: 168min 41sec (10121 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 07 2019