Maybe The Sixth Funniest Podcast Compilation Ever

[Music] i used to get coked up with that's what it's like to be uh i think they were latinos for sure to get coked up with a dude that used to put a string on his wrist and the string would go to the doorknob so if he tried to open the doorknob his string bryce get high with some crazy people yeah i used to get high with his brother who was bald and his brother would be talking to you like we'd be doing coke like yeah yeah and also he'd go like what they go and he smacked himself because he kept thinking flies went down his head he would smack himself 80 [ __ ] times a night and we would laugh at every [ __ ] time and after he'd smack himself he'd go [Laughter] bro he used to put balloons he lived on the 34th floor i had another friend kurt he's dead now rest in peace good good dude he used to get so paranoid that he would put little parachutes on his cocaine so if the cops came he would throw it out the window and the little parachutes would fly i mean that's the [ __ ] that was the 80s you know that's god 80s is good bro [ __ ] craziness how that [ __ ] just took over i don't give a [ __ ] about what you do but for you to drag your kid down the dark cave what's up what's [ __ ] up what's going on buddy you're right over here right over there you want to go outside and get some man okay tell me the truth you want to go outside and get some man let me do some [ __ ] let me do some [ __ ] calling shout outs here we'll wrap this up there we go i think that's the idea he's feeling [ __ ] up now don't start let him get electrocuted it's all right we need somebody to get electrocuted on this show i got elected when i was younger man actually you don't save me bro a brother saved me man and i don't know if you're out there would you stop already you got elected yeah they these like [Music] is it time is it time for you to get some medley lee we don't give a [ __ ] hold the [ __ ] cannon headless yeah you get up you need help to get up and go get some man you're not gonna vomit on the [ __ ] table no i'm okay the cannon hit lee man he finally said [ __ ] it we went out three nights in a row he had me doing mushrooms on a monday night people get lonely and mean man that's what happens dude money doesn't make everything it really just doesn't make everything great you know no it doesn't it helps sometimes it helps things yeah what'd they say somebody said help me make you warm in the winter and cool in the summer so that's what somebody said right that's a poor person saying that it's a homeless person's idea of what money is you get cool and warm it's like no there's many other things you get that's an insane that's like the lowest level of what money can do do you think you get water when you're thirsty and food when you're hungry oh money oh man you get mittens yeah so russian reality tv show called game two to allow rape and murder in siberia oh my god oh that's i don't believe it i don't believe that's the guardian yeah that's real yeah but i can't i can't would you watch it no no a hundred percent no nobody says 2 000 cameras 900 hectares it's a hectare hector hector hector 900 guys named hector hey i'm here there's so many of you guys okay so 30 lives everything is allowed fighting alcohol murder rape smoking anything they have to sign a waiver smoking you know what's understanding so loud this bat this fake wooden paneling in the background and these beams these are like old san fernando valley an type houses you're right about that yeah but we didn't actually show andrew how we were introduced to this guy this is actually how he's known to us it's from this video oh i'll make you come oh uh last lady 10 15 times before i even went boom once wow yeah that's really good yep do you guys think he's lying i don't know i always think it's cool like when guys brag about how good they are about on sex i'm like this is a cool guy i think he yeah i think he's got like some form of are you super strong too oh that's good too tough guys are you smart when they brag about being smart i don't know i think i got to be honest i think he's right i think that sounds true he'll make you come yeah uh here's a guy obviously he's looking to date this guy looks like he's in trouble kind of looks like he didn't answer a contact racing call he's infected 38 people hey uh mr dillon uh huge fan mr vaughn long time long time listener watcher first time caller and communicator pardoned my back mullet i don't have a top mullet but i got a little back hair i'm gonna let that heat go anyway i got a crazy question for mr dylan what do you think about the assassin killing himself that shot the judge's son this elaine maxwell shit's getting a little trash yeah it's real creepy yeah so let's get into that first let's just establish that epstein you believe epstein was a pedophile i'm just saying let's just establish some great who are you working for wait a minute hold on what uh yes i will take a controversial stance because i believe epstein is a pedophile okay you heard it here okay and you think gislane was his little his uh his his runner yeah i think that's pretty well established i think miss maxwell was involved in some alert and inappropriate activities but as trump would say i wish her well yeah cause that's the way rich people talk rich people every now and then rich people just become rich and they forget that they have a job he forgot he was the president yeah he was i had a golf tee on mar-a-lago in his mind and he he said what he would have said to some ceo that was next to me yeah i was sure well right i should have done the podcast right you know why did i i did the late night why did i do that yeah yeah why why did i go on carson daly when i could have just how many late nights have you done 12 i think wow and all of them bad some really no no no they're all free good now i my last one was rough and i i lost sleep over i'm like punching walls in a hotel room in sacramento like [ __ ] why did i pick that joke why did i do that you know why am i in sacramento no i feel i know what you mean uh when you feel like you do a set that you're bummed about a little bit or yeah i get it but you're i i'm not placating i would i would not mention it but i truly think i've i haven't seen you have a bad bad set on television hey i appreciate it i mean i appreciate it i did once i did my half hour comedy central special whatever that was bad that was bad because i had uh i got an a a virus called h pylori and i was like i gotta change the data like we can't change the date so i had to do it if you look on the internet i'm puffy i'm my face is this big pylori it's a virus you get from eating feces and i ate some fat chicks ass in wisconsin and uh i guess i got some fecal matter in me and uh totally shut me down wow i was like my tongue was sheet white i was spitting up like hocks of whatever my i was [ __ ] water i had a stomach ache i mean i was weak it really got me those cheese had chicks i know that's because she didn't wipe enough i assume i mean i think even when i went back there she was like you're [ __ ] crazy are you you're taking your life in your hands are you a big ass eater uh you know it was it was like six years ago when it was like just oh and it just started right it was a trend yeah it was a trend and i wanted to show like hey i'm i'm down i'm pro women you know i'll eat your ass yeah there's true religion jeans on and you're all with the hip trends you have a flicking shirt you're like i'm eating that ass pal you got that whatever comes around i'm going for it yeah so uh you learned your lesson now i learned my lesson i came up it looked like i had a like a candy apple i was covered in chocolate and uh boy i learned my lesson now i only eat kids asses right yeah it's gotta be clean i get a baby wipe in there because they've just been cleaned right right exactly how do you after tub time is that what it is it's tough time right after tough time right before nap hour and then i lick it and then i put baby powder on it hey didn't you have a clip from bill's show oh is this here i don't know our producer sends us folders of [ __ ] i don't know this is it what is this black guys who love the [ __ ] [ __ ] good if you're a hot black guy and you want to [ __ ] me at 23.95 if you want to move in you can move in but you gotta [ __ ] me i need i need to be [ __ ] a lot man get rip free food free rent and everything else man there's a deal man is that from your show no i'm just fascinated by that guy that's about as free as it gets i mean he just doesn't care if his mother sees that i mean you know he knows where he knows what he wants is that a bow in his hair is that just a [ __ ] in the back i think that's the background dude he gave us free rent though like you get free rent you get free food the reason why he's alone is he he suffocates you yeah yeah he's very needy very i need to be [ __ ] and to be [ __ ] alive he's like okay it sounds like you know if you were into that that he'd be enjoyable for about two three days oh it would tire you out yeah men from jail homeless or you're a thug you want to come move in a friend can move with you man free rent you can loosen the key [ __ ] me piss on me beat me home you know you see me when i come over today and try it out try it out man try it out what do you think

Channel: YINYANG MONKEY

Views: 66,949

Rating: 4.9373775 out of 5

Keywords: Theo Von, Chris delia, joey diaz, bobby lee, bill burr, mark normand, chris distefano, tim dillon, andrew schulz, podcast compilation, yinyangmonkey, comedian, podcast, andrew santino, will sasso, tfatk, bryan callen

Id: Wr3GIlYYXBs

Length: 10min 38sec (638 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 08 2021