Maybe The Third Funniest Podcast Compilation Ever

[Music] we're trying to figure out who got molested and no one did the only person that got close was you but sounded like a good time she didn't really end out his story totally fine yeah i don't think i did honestly chin i i got an airing like you grew up in america though right huh you grew up in america i was born in korea you were born in korea i came here when i was like three years raised in texas though okay okay okay hey boy yeah you doing over here come here chin what you all want to show you something boy let me sit something on your chin yeah you ever see oil come out of one of these things [Laughter] i bet you don't got this in korea do you chin huh he [Applause] we do a little differently down here you're going to take one on your chinny chin chin son no yes sir bend over chin hey help me put on my boots [Applause] his parents like what did he make you do it is time for a little bit of a laugh we need comedian mark norman in our lives he'll be here at hilarity's this weekend so welcome here into the in the studio it's good to have you hey good to be here it's uh it's a pleasure i'm a little hungover a little gay but uh just glad to be here with you sister i appreciate you saying that i'm very happy to be here with you too all right sorry just hiding my erection but uh yeah this is great i know you just left slimens yeah i had slime and so i'm really gonna be on the toilet later but uh boy best corned beef in in the midwest if you ask me it's delicious it's the size of your head yeah yeah and i ate way too much but uh at least everybody there was very attractive that's good no i'm kidding but uh good good good grub there still hurting yeah i bet you are yeah i've been farting it up in the green room and uh i think i started that's why the door was shut yeah to our little smaller green room exactly you were just trying to be polite we call it hot boxing really soaking it all in because the smell of your own farts for some reason is enjoyable if you farted it'd be weird but if i fart i enjoy i don't know is that a guy thing maybe because i feel like would you would hear no woman would ever say something like that no you guys are more of like maybe a queefing oh my gosh okay is that is that claim tv i mean you know oh sorry 10 am you know you've up you had your coffee your meth or who knows what sideways when it's time to actually have sex yeah and do it what do you say that well what's her name mandy mandy now let's say her name is penelope penelope okay so first time having sex i'm i'm doing it right before i haven't put it in there yet no but i don't say much i just like kiss and i make it nice and i [ __ ] you know i make sure to like look at him and use a lot of eye contact and yeah and then right before i climax what's her name penelope okay i go like this right before i climax i go like this oh i'm penelope i'm so cool oh my god [Laughter] yo i mean who doesn't have that weird fetish where it's like i would love to hook up with one of my teachers like my biology teacher smoke show yeah she was he was bad i i did cocaine with a substitute and that's all that's as far as i got we just how old are you i was maybe 18 maybe like the year i graduated high school we're doing coke with uh the sub one of our substitutes and was he a homosexual or she no it was a chat a woman yeah she was just um subs of the end dude what class she was an english sub so she was an idiot yeah so she wasn't smart she was probably trying to go out and sniff some coke and you know [ __ ] her way into the lower middle class she's [ __ ] her way into a little levitt house in long island good woman oh my god bro when the structure's compromised it falls in on itself that's too much that's why the world trade center didn't fall over like it could have been had to be detonated because that's the way it falls did it they put did they put charges in there is that what the cia did guys i don't know no you can see or did they do that or did maybe alex jones has a theory on on the mexico earthquake they make that [ __ ] frogs gay yeah did the cia do that did they did they explain tower seven yeah they got they got they died hillary's a lizard and she took tower 7 and put charges in it yeah and they make a [ __ ] frog's day all right take it easy alex well why don't you tell me why the tower 7 fell on its own well if you're so i'm here with a navy seal i'm a navy seal i i am i i'm a navy seal i i own 87 dogs and all of them were trained by nate and when i was the governor of minnesota i had over a hundred dogs now what say you to that well if you're such a patriot i don't know how the 911 uh you know what happened what's that happen i guess you must have been there i guess you must have been there i wasn't and nate would tell you that a presa canario that six presa canarios could uh don't say take down a building because that's not factual i was not gonna say that i was gonna say they could four of them could take out a nuclear submarine that's not true we had them doing it in the marines i don't know about that i was a navy seal i know you were you said i live in the baja all right i don't i spend less than six months a year in the continental united states of america he's very much like i love showbiz advice from a dad that's yeah yeah i said non-show business dad's advice my the best 73 74 years old diabetic heart condition lives in you know new york now he just moved to florida the next epicenter he's just following oh yeah he goes never smoked or drank a day in his life you know pandemic hits march it's like april 1st you know nobody's supposed to see their elderly grandparents he's like i want to come see the baby you know my daughter he's like i got to come see the baby i can't [ __ ] sit here anymore i'm like yeah but you got to understand like you can't like you're you know old age you know like you're you're every condition that they say is going to kill you you have them all he's like don't worry about it i'm coming i'm going to get on the bus i was like dad let me at least yeah i was like let me at least come get you i'm getting on the [ __ ] bus so he gets on the bus shows up he's got a mask on around his ear right around i'll never forget it was around his his left ear he just got it hanging i'm like did you take the bus like that he's again you got a mask on your person that's what de blasio said the mayor i go i go i was like dad it has to be across your face yeah and then he goes to me he goes oh i'm sorry i thought june was pride month i don't know i had a gay son and then i'm like okay and then he goes into my backyard and lights up a cigar and i was like what are you doing like you haven't drank or smoked anything and he was like let me [ __ ] tell you one thing here chrissy he goes nothing chinese is ever going to take me down he goes my veins are red white and blue and he lights up things to go outside it just starts coughing like an idiot and i'm like dad whatever and if you ever watch the trailer like watch the trailer for chinese connection it's on youtube you'll die like that's what you saw on happy days and everybody knew we were [ __ ] and that's it that brought a different era to this country that changed society forever you know pete i love when a couple weeks ago oh well tarantino put down bruce lee yeah he did but you guys are sticking up for bruce lee you don't know nothing about it you didn't live through bruce lee you didn't live through bruce lee so don't tell me about your stories i lived through bruce lee you know i know what it was before bruce lee chinese people were [ __ ] walking around like shy and scared they would only bow once bruce lee came on the scene chinese people were like what the [ __ ] did you say [ __ ] even if they didn't know that don't be calling me no yellow [ __ ] i'll [ __ ] you up cause in harlem they would call them yellow [ __ ] it was [ __ ] crazy oh it was crazy it was crazy so then once bruce lee came you couldn't [ __ ] with chinese people no more now i can't go on saturday night live that poor bastard that sends a horrible message firing somebody now young comics are going to be scared to be edgy or to tell what's really in their heart because they're not going to get on santa live or delayed letterman or whatever monday was the best thing for me because i'm out of television and if not i'm now now i'm out now i'm out of tv you know what i'm saying

Channel: YINYANG MONKEY

Views: 376,414

Rating: 4.8837452 out of 5

Keywords: Theo Von, Chris delia, joey diaz, bobby lee, bill burr, mark normand, chris distefano, tim dillon, andrew schulz, podcast compilation, yinyangmonkey, comedian, podcast, andrew santino, will sasso

Id: XyP-FlYKIcI

Length: 10min 3sec (603 seconds)

Published: Mon May 24 2021