Lucifer [S5A Humor] ◊ "I'm sure that makes sense to someone"

you gather story i taught you well kid here i am and there's nowhere i'd rather be sorry i can't believe you left and didn't even say goodbye [Music] how in the hell same response every time i came back and i saw his his freaking scary-ass red face well i'm not particularly fond of your face either daniel hello ladies lady singular my apologies doctor i don't want me to barge into your home like this but you weren't at work it's 7 and what do you truly desire is she having a stroke he hasn't responded to a single one of my texts or dms not even that video i sent him of the parakeet dancing to techno you guys it like opens up its ways and it's like it goes like sinuses what do you truly desire is this the way you people solve crimes and i figured out how to fix things between us oh how's that well you're going to tell me what to do ah well i'm sure that makes sense to someone i have this reoccurring dream where i open the fridge and the only thing that is there is orange juice [Music] fascinating sooner or later it all falls apart sorry i got lost in a daydream on account of your problem being so extraordinarily boring all of this this is what real police work looks like right well real place where it looks very boring i have a birthmark shaped like a pineapple do you want to see it no i mean sure i would love to thank you for finally agreeing to meet with me detective after 57 phone calls twice as many texts the billboard off sunset oh and the ill-conceived stripper you know i'm not going anywhere right maybe not on purpose but i'm gonna drop dead in what five years how old do you think i am she could be the one who wanted to murder judd assuming anyone wanted to murder jed i heard you were here so i thought i'd pay you a visit no no no way man you got to go oh frankly i was expecting a tad warmer reception mr set out [ __ ] looking for something oh hi huh oh just [ __ ] oh sweetie has come to this full-on delusions we are gonna get through this i promise i made something for you it's just like mine huh why on earth would i want that a merger man it's like uh it's like a gigantic puzzle only you don't know what the corner pieces are or what it's gonna look like when it's done you just described torture it's morning detective good morning again lucifer it could take hours days years even man definitely torture you know him yeah invulnerable hey is that my pudding yes yes here you go daniel yummy oh i think i found the piece daniel [Music] aragon that's not your sword i'm i'm totally awake i'm awake i was trying to record proof that cardinals stole my tracks well that is where we'll find proof that jed is behind all of this or of who the real killer is spitting it he's spitting it honey i've been wondering what he was out too recently you know before i went right [Music] i may know the answer to that [Music] actually now i think of it we did mostly talk about me [Music] what are you doing i'm winning can you believe it yeah but you're supposed to be losing i know but i never win a gilded sacrificial dagger and one live chicken but never ends well for the chicken not a spoiled brat which is exactly what charlie's going to become if you keep buying him more toys this is not a toy mace this is a stimulating educational recreation scape that if you [Music] 20 words don't you have any books with pictures oh my god i have that exact same shirt yes you're dead wait did you steal my clothes oh i'm confused i'm in a deal [Music] you're my dad of course not what part of me not picking up are you not picking up on detective dancer sorry diablo i was just pumping a suspect for leads let's get down to serious business shall we you uh how do you know lucky larry exactly and the fact that he came to this emotionally mature insight on his own impressive now can we jump to the part where you teach the detective how to return my merger yeah scratch emotional maturity [Music] we just kissed and then guess what you called so here we are tucker do you always answer your phone what are you doing i'm literally doing nothing he's not in the silver city now is he so excuse me while i go touch him i can see how that's a poor choice of words i can feel your negative vibrations from across the room man well then you should probably move even further away you must be so happy everyone must be who's watching hell i wonder what what she desires well probably just to eat her own food she just said it did you spike my coffee it's the only way to get through yet another tedious and useless task you're welcome i'm pretty sure that i should have a um calming effect on you that's right hank there are strippers out there considering becoming detectives now oh what are you doing well i can't just let them get away with shooting me star trek please miss lopez knows more about that stuff than you ever could [Music] hey cool see [ __ ] speaks chewbacca that is not a good idea [Applause] shouldn't you be involved with this thing over at lux i don't know anything about a sting i'm here because i'm being mysterious you're right i gotta think bigger i mean it's not even poisonous where's boron see yes that's yes bubba squat that's it that's it supposed to be the only blade that can kill the devil how ironic is that right [Music] see that's boron wow yeah that was amazing what's the worst thing you've ever done to someone look without killing them who once ate someone's kidney in front of her oh that's a non-starter i refuse to put any part of daniel in my mouth i went to goat yoga after it fell out of my pocket and you know they eat everything are you saying a goat ate your alibi you left us at my desk detective it's not even known you're welcome to stay but it's kind of loud pain and suffering music to my ears i found out that lucifer has reconsidered his position on honesty oh interesting what you're listening to her from out here well i'm certainly not listening to you so goodbye i'm so used to dismissing your crazy antics that i haven't been taking seriously you can't make citizens arrests on jaywalkers and littering there was a sign it was clearly forbidden the kid was three years old she was a bit loud on the sat phone sometimes other than that nice lady you're lying no i'm not but i'm a real cop it actually might be a new lead great work lucifer take that back oh linda i'm not quite sure why mays called you but like i told you this is a sting oh i thought you said vodka why really nothing at least why would i do that she might be a murderer he stares into my eyes and he says i love [Music] meatloaf you and i have the rest of the evening free right right well uh i suppose i'll go home and get some dinner then since you seem more concerned with getting the perfect revenge on dan why don't you just go do that i'll get to the bottom of this on my own fantastic idea detective divide and conquer [Applause] you have any ideas how to stop this have you tried whiskey we all think our own kid can walk on water right i hadn't thought of that cancel swimming lessons why would destiny paige be calling a nun at a convent that she wants to buy her latest album was a testament to a new found faith and the one that she's working on now is supposed to continue in that vein please don't tell lucifer your secret's safe with me it's safe where you stored it where i stored what wait did you store it or did she store it [Music] that's awesome you stored it and it's safe what did i store though no no not you who stored what i'm so confused [Music] [Applause] whisper killer lame doesn't make sense i don't kill whispers that's is that how you described me where's linda oh [Music] are they going again you

Channel: C.M

Views: 594,857

Rating: 4.9573207 out of 5

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Id: WN8S075ojF0

Length: 12min 14sec (734 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 24 2020