Live at the Apollo Paul Chowdhry. It's baking Dave

yeah what's happening why people this is stuffy tonight none of the old stuff I used to do like Purple Rain so I like about London's weather's changing you see people walking about especially when the weather gets good hot or too cold cockneys work is biking life oh absolutely swear in my I'm sweating like a right slag it's 12 degrees Dave it's gonna rain in a minute the Indians walking about with their coats and jackets on the school board get the cord to the jacket bastard it is biking dive same way the different clothes any people that keep his confidant illegal mini cab drivers I get this cab the other day right starts telling his life story I'm in the back in my country I was our doctor well I was a doctor in my country I was like keep your eyes on the road mate well he's a doctor after this right I was a doctor what do you need to become a doctor in your country a driving licence scootsie lot of Indian people are come out tonight one guy over there where you from gangster Milton Keynes stood with your parents just think about the English people get a lot more independence Indian people don't get the indepent we don't want to move out never have to move out our family home dad I want to move out I want to get mine you want to do what bastard I want to get out get you'll never leave this house bastard you don't leave when I'm dead you're dead everybody's dead and you still don't leave bastard English people lot more independence what are you gonna move out son you're five now bounnam get and go drop you scroungy little slag yeah take your kids with you we're independent skill a racist of like loads of my mates I've got a lot of English mates they all want to get for a curry with me Paula Scout for a curry might why would I want to go for a curry racist bastard and I said let's go for a Cornish pasty Mike I'm not Cornish and refresh of the banana boat Dave Indian food the only food that's referred to as a laxative I've got the under [ __ ] while I'm eating this right through me son why is it poor with a banana Dave I reckon we can all break down racial barriers in this country before put on the same accent as the person we're speaking to I think you know Indian restaurant put on a slide Indian accent like one poppadom one chicken tikka masala one naan bread don't take it too far bring it to me bastard don't do the head shaking in the hand movement was that racist you change your cheeks you gotta change your face to go with the voice buying a bucket of chicken I did that too much this restaurant the other day like violet back to the chicken the guy goes to me you want dick sauce with that when a buttered a chicken egg sauce a lot dick sauce I just dropped the ax in the lap point this mile forget the dick sauce what kind of restaurant is this I said dick sauce not dicks house this is really thick sauce when he came back but do everywhere you know that's what I want racism I want in a restaurant if I go to a Chinese restaurant I don't want some guy coming what can you get your mic you can get me a Chinese waiter what's daddy doing it ho proper racism I want burnin Manning you want you know one right - rock how many right you more me why you like that I wanted to get so confused at night he doesn't even know what he's ordering it you want or I'll 17 ride 1:29 I would like to be like Jackie Chan racing who how many Ryu on Oh waiter please no violence master I like to get so angry he takes it on the guy in the kitchen because you confused him drew in the order you want Paul rouse Mira one minute woman I don't know why I just ordered Jackie Chan in that kitchen it was one restaurant I heard about in London got closed down because they were putting flower and herb in and onion barges in a basket so when Health and Safety turned up they said is that the pin or the bucket I've been bugging same thing is that the kitchen all of our kitchen a bathroom same thing jewelry fridge for dessert is empty is any wife or your cousin wife cousin is empty time to change now me now when I was growing up I grew up in the 70s but there was no money you know you got no money when you family reuse marjorine tubs that's when you know your skin you can't believe it's not butter that's cuz it's mince me in that [ __ ] God needs me on my toast in the morning my family is to think water was a preservative like say there was no soap in the house dad there's no soap announced he thought put worn to the soap you get more soap out of it it's not taking you could correct is it dad there's no soap nobody put back on the soap shake the salt began more to stop its war on my hands now homeopathic soap wish that fish and chips once a week there's no ketchup enough dad there's no kitchen don't buddy pull back on the ketchup the ketchup you gotta want a ketchup couple read war on my chips now I've got sake chips that's not much warm I pay the fished I swim over again family thought if you put stuff in the freezer lasts forever fresh in the freezer new stuff stuff that was well past it it's a freeze of our time machine whose have chicken fish dodo it's different that's why breakdown berry like I traveled on virgin Plains now right problem is when I travel aboard them virgin Plains you can phone up your people tell them when you're arriving to a destination they've got phones on the planes problem is most of my family speak Punjabi abroad when I'm telling I'm arriving I've got a tenement Punjabi I was on the plane I look I'm if like 7 too far 9 been a minister vigilante guard up yet the guy next to me [ __ ] himself he found up his wife and told him he loved her and you might never see her again I didn't wanna ruin the surprise I sighed we knew Quran I'm not even a Muslim this country hasn't quite clam daven the government you know problems in this country you get stabbed in this country they won't find the killers but if you drive down a bus lane they'll take a picture of you in the car and send it to your house within 48 hours did you get stabbed make sure you get stabbed in a bus lane so probably no even like people don't even wear their seatbelts to the car government at his campaign gonna try and help people wear a seatbelt this guy goes to pick up a pizza he's not wearing a seatbelt he crashes a car pizzas flipped up all over the place never on me everywhere he's dead second take he picks up a Peter again crashes a car this time he's wearing a seatbelt pieces flipped up all over the place there are me everywhere but he survives says what have you learned from this video I'm gonna get your pizzas delivered people believe in all that now Illuminati people think this the government controlled by other forces you know man I hear that blood you believe in that man you'd even like 9/11 conspiracies I got mace like you mommy goes King Kong be dang king called you 90 level blood goes bloody I don't for me my mobile in Akuma my landline how come CIA in it New England you idiot you don't know when it's CIA MFI M&S loominatee Blatt there because because they're black yeah bin Laden here he's not even dead in it we're talking about because if you died you would have got Muslim burial Llewyn bin Laden didn't deserve to get thrown into the sea we should have just chucked him into a wheelie bin that would be with that cat last year and then we could have called him a sama wheelie bin Laden then Gladys Newman RPA Lube I'm almost Illuminati anyway people that glow in the dark in it with my time he's gonna get crowd

Channel: Ovid

Views: 1,561,610

Keywords:

Id: 5jZ84TjZOOI

Length: 11min 3sec (663 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 18 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/Being_grateful]

The last 2-3 years have been amazing for him, fingers crossed that keeps going!

[u/Londonman007bond]

He was fantastic live! Would highly recommend his shows to anyone!

[u/Bangoga]

I love Paul Chawdry. His new bearded look is class.