Live at the Apollo: Jon Richardson, Sara Pascoe, Nathan Caton. 45 mins. Mar 2016. S10 E4.

[Music] ladies and gentlemen please welcome your host for tonight John Richardson [Applause] greetings Apollo hey well thank you for coming I hope you enjoy yourselves so who's who's around we have musicians here we have Lee Ryan is here from balloon oru and Tinchy Stryder is here is rather snowberries some grasses on indoors you cool sot ready took your hat off I appreciate that winter sort of type of music I don't know if you guys know it sort of sub urban music suburban music recording pretty cool [ __ ] I've got a new single coming out called it's like that but we can have it changed if you're not satisfied you've got to fight for your right to represent your local party pretty cool Rachel's here hello how are you Rachel does the numbers on cats does countdown because we can't let Jimmy do them can we all come out the same wouldn't they anyway thank you all for coming I hope you have a wonderful evening but not too good because Britain is the only country so I have to quantify that because most countries we need to have a good time people really enjoy the thing we're doing but in Britain that means drink until you're sick in the morning really unique approach to fun way off where if you don't remember it while you're puking into a toilet then it you might as well have not done it so be honest I work so point now with my drinking where obviously I'm not gonna eliminate it altogether because you need some alcohol to survive just start salt and we limit our drinking so I don't get hangovers any more sick of having hangovers because what hangover is is your stomach saying to the rest of your body we just piss off please just nothing comes down here until I deal with what you did to me last night [Music] you don't even like Malibu two o'clock in the morning [ __ ] which point you're also let's say don't bring me into this still dealing with a kebab be out on the way home I like this time of year this is the time of year alike right because the drinking slot the tempest now doesn't it because we're getting to winter now it's getting dark people don't go out and winter did stay in and the East you in the cry I like that emotionally I feel that one with that as you just cut up a Swede and leave it in a pan for four hours you stay in there until you offer no resistance whatsoever you chewing was for the summer I'm exhausted by life now mush it in so I don't die in the cold months somewhere I really struggle because weapons in summaries people go out don't mean they do stuff and they have opinions on it tends to piss me off a little bit that kind of thing and you realize the carnage that is great because in my lifetime I would say I only remember sort of the last two summers are the only ones I remember where it's been sunny for like a week at a time you used to get that you'd open the curtains and you go oh there's sunshine look let's have a barbecue when you partner so it's only half 7:00 in the morning so no but let's have a breakfast barbecue because there's clouds come in and otherwise we'll miss it so let's just set fire to the shed and put a sausage on it please cause it's raining now don't matter you ruined it got somewhere that one now you have somewhere and you know you're in trouble because you turn the weather on in the morning and the weather people outside showing you the weather is real so that you can believe it Carol Kirk was there going hello I'm outside look that's the sunshine very nice isn't it very hot not too hot I'm not dying you know it's quite far away temper it's nice you know you're thinking all very well for you but actually because it's so far away it's not just on this field it's everywhere you know what's on all of us works I don't know it's mundane you've got work but don't what it still be sunny on Friday low-key and that's the bit where we all go I beg your pardon still Stanley on Friday you said is it the day when I go out and get pissed anyway I can do that outside now canna I start emailing people now and whatever city you live in that's where you email people the venue to me I live in London here which obviously I'm not from London you can tell by my accent I'm from the north but not allowed to be a comedian in the north after move to London and when the Queen's not looking I steal a bit of gold and one day I'll move back he's in what left he's come back wait Gord [ __ ] building houses with let's make him to King in the north I live in London now after he learns everyone goes to the river as you'll know we all accumulate on the river when the weather is sunny and there was a day last summer everyone emailed each other Monday morning where you might you seem to be better the rhyming slang for weather I haven't checked for Western go George yeah I've seen it might sunshine in it fun Sean do up the bum Sean would you come down the river Friday night night five o'clock yeah yeah I'll see you there four o'clock might work for lunch four o'clock you know a nice one see ya apples have been honest - for a parent with it successfully man they say mail went right across London as well I don't know they did it you must better put into the address bar of an email everyone at desks sweat London so they all congregated Friday night at the river but the last line of this email was please don't tell John ransom a gig till now nobody turned up the dog onto the river but that don't stop me quietly shout into an empty room about myself for two hours spitting bile on two empty chairs come out to Waterloo about 11 o'clock to get home and just have never seen carnage like it I've seen drunk people I've never seen a whole city shit-faced before drunk because there are no two people together no one can coordinate to walk alongside one few enough individuals grown men just smashing into train station walls because they've seen Harry Potter and they're now that one of them douche one will open up to that magical world where there's that girl where she's not old enough in the films but she's now so it doesn't count people's limbs have stopped working they're just dragging themselves across the floor hoovering up chips the biggest for my oldest cuz no one's left the city all day no one's left London so this train now that's about to leave is heaving right in a way that I've only ever seen in documentary set in the third world and if they don't get on it they ain't feeding their family so they're on the roof and they're in the coupling that's happening at London Waterloo strangers adults hanging on to the outside of trains like that waiting for the train to leave from the police they're saying you cards we travel like that mate on the outside of the train they're sensible people said oh good yeah tunnels on that kill myself 100 KS you do one Pig I'm touching the train I'm on the try I'm not gonna get home I don't get home tonight that's what's happening I realize it was one train left I thought if I don't get on that that's it right and when they are now to the platform got be the first one there right and I've got a good chance cuz when they do announce it I'm the only one here who can still read so they announce the black bomb not only do I get to the Train on the first one there for the whole tray which means I get my choice of every seat on a train which would freak a lot of people out they don't know which one they want I know exactly what seoeon I want two together but I don't want someone to come and sit next to me I don't want to put my bag on the seat I'm too much of a coward do you know when you put your bag on the seat eventually someone's gonna come on go excuse me could you move that please yes yes but you know this one did you and I'm here now the Alpha so you've been just nice and I'm just gonna touch you with that leg as well that's my armrest you get our family in that one shitty little harp on there under the window that's yours so just pick the two worst seats on the train that will do me the two seats that nobody else will want right so what you do you walk along the train until you say well they've joined two together but there's no divide so all these people are stuck in this bit right go in this door eeeh don't go on forward with you momentum just pivot round like that and there's a little pouch of seats here that nobody notices right look for the table here don't sit at the table everybody wants the table sit just behind the table people see the tables freely move on there's two seats here facing backwards most people don't like to face backwards makes them feel sick sit by the window so people walk in here assume this some one of those well yeah go on keep walking mate goddamn I say I've nailed this curled myself up into a little ball of self-righteousness right stone cold sober hating it people get on the train drunk enjoying themselves winding me up right just before we pull out of the station somebody hits the back of my chair definitely a human head can tell by the weight of it and the sound there's someone who's passed out or more excitingly someone who's running for the last train and thinks [ __ ] I'm gonna miss the last train maybe if I cut my head off and throw it on the train get my head back and then roll back to the flat call ataxia collect my body it's not it's the first one sister girl who's just passed out can't move anymore right and I think how did she even get on the train I can't look around kinda to find out cuz I'll make eye contact with someone I think I want to talk to well you got a face every other face my toes boarding Berman's he actually just sit there curled up and look way I find out what's happened right because a man announces the history of the evening to his alright Big South African business money is he's carried her onto the train right now he's not getting this train so he needs someone to help her off the train which for me all all he needs to do to tap these two people a donating could you help this woman off the train please I don't know if you can see that but she's absolutely an island it's it's not actually going to help I'm leaving now she's yours okay take care to do no he doesn't do that cuz he realizes if he announces to the whole carriage waster on will all think lace carried a lady onto the train what a fine gentleman I shall applaud him and carrying wherever he's going so instead he shouts to all of us somebody's got to hit this woman of the tram please of Kelly there as far as I can but I can do no more what they were born in South Africa he's traveled very accurate that was anyway I hated him he's the first individual I take time out to hate and I'm good at painting it's my skill if it was a superpower that I'd be my thing hating people I'm you see the back of someone's head for half a second they got [ __ ] gone now but it's a decade I know is it different I hated this guy for two reasons first of all you're not helping this girl are you you pretend you are but you're not if she's that drunk she's better off back with her friends or with the police she's not better off hurtling towards Portsmouth at 100 miles an hour hopefully gets port Smith it's a fine place but if you wake up there and you don't live there that is a problem for you isn't it anyone here if you walk up there tomorrow your first thought wouldn't be what would a fine opportunity to explore the historic harbour side of Port you think [ __ ] I'm in Portsmouth if we trace back why this girl is that drunk it's probably because an hour ago he was in a bar with her no liked her but he's new his personality was abhorrent so what he did instead every time she asked for a drink he got her a larger one so they left together in the air hit her and she passed out and I thought I better put this one on at alone I broke it it's not a hero he's an [ __ ] she's dumping a drop-off in our train right so I hated him right but then these two people here I hate them because they bailed him out there and oh that's okay we'll get her off the train I hated them just forget it involved and also because they're drunk as well all that's happened is they're drunk but she's more drunk so they sobered up now Oh is she drunk is she oh don't worry we only had the 12 yoga bombs you see there's do be careful there I pissed there just a little bit again is out good I'm at hate as well at the same time as I'm hating them for getting involved I'm simultaneously hating everyone else for not getting involved really top-level hatred artists there's a woman in distress here and you did nothing this country's gone to the dogs he gets off the train and start to calm myself down where rattling along we got about five minutes into the journey and I'm almost back at base level hatred which is still quite high and hear the noise from behind me ever saw semi thickened liquid hitting the floor from about 3 or 4 feet bold snap for a train that isn't it big soup I would say from the sound of that it's not that it should just Chum did she just children she wakes up chunder in on a train she doesn't remember getting on which is obviously upsetting so she starts crying right and the crying causes her stomach to convulse which makes her sick again perfect little sandwich of misery going on behind me there what that does of course is rocket hurry up the league to my most hated person on the train relegation zone to Champions League overnight unbelievable for I know he's not here it's because all I wanted was this seat and now got to move because sick is coming under the thing my bag and my shoes I start looking around at people I think they say it's ridiculous now modern Britney can't even get on a train without getting someone else's insides on you I just want someone to look at me and go oh no my would a country alright nobody does they were all looking at me angry because there was drunk as she is and they think I'm elevating myself out of this situation I can see them looking at me going oh look at mr. clean shoes mr. lousy - too good to ever sick all over music it was sick on May my arse it move on just pissed on them a little bit I realize it's all of us everyone in the country is this pissed at the moment and that's rude but enough for me out live here I knew the signs if I had another gig I'd be as drunk as everyone else but somewhere on this train is a nice little Spanish family nice little Spanish from home to Europe on a summer holidays am play because it's in the Olympics yeah let's go to London because we told him didn't we oh come to London we all wear matching track suits and we help each other do can't do crap now they're seen the truth this is London now they're on this train terrified and they bought the tickets ages ago didn't they and gave them to the kids at Christmas helio go ahead use your at least must place a perfectly serviceable Spanish accent I ain't changing it just because you are frightened by performance you've put me on a character now hang on I need to get back in not yours let me lose the rhythm don't know we lose the rhythm here you got Xavier city's York please must put it in tell you when I stop laughing at your voice this summer we're going on our holidays to London town that's right London town but when we get there please don't speak out loud because people will laugh in your face and then 2012 Olympic London but we're going there in 2013 because it's cheaper what's an apartment he's on the edge of the city so every day we wake up or we'll have some breakfast we get the train into town we go to Buckingham Palace we watch a shot you can stay up late every night and we didn't last ran back to the apartment in the city of London don't sweat there on this train now seen for the first time what London is really like and they're gonna go back Huntley and their friends are gonna say hey how was your holiday in London they're gonna say let me tell you something a foul on that you get the train in London Jesus cracking and [ __ ] puke you don't worry you pick me me a piece you do you have to swim out of the Train sois they were so drunk was he the festival or something it was his sunshine come out there we go consider yourself satirized are you excited for a great evening it's time to welcome our first guest you couldn't be in better hands please go wild and crazy' welcome to stage the wonderful Sara Pascoe [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hello thank you for having me Hammersmith I love it what a beautiful building and I love what beautiful place I live in Lewisham which is brilliant yeah if you haven't been there just go southeast from here until you start getting scared we have something in Lewisham I've never seen anywhere else right which is about six months ago along our high street and all the windows of the shops they put life-sized stick on policeman to protect us it's so what it looks very hot the first day I saw this house with my boyfriend I said why if they all started selling those they didn't understand he went no Sara they've put them there to deter shoplifters what because they can't pick them off and then he explained to me maybe you know this they've done these studies the government it's not to do with the subconscious because of the connotations of law enforcement people see these policemen they're less likely to steal but imagine how successful actual law enforcement would have been a ton of thieves they are also the stupidest people in the world because it's working where's it gonna end Oh 22% of people on the 91 didn't realize that the bus wasn't moving with one of these stick-on drivers 25% a criminal said themselves to prison with a stick on judges I'd write a letter to my local politician but not sure how high up this goes this is more enduring this is about two months ago somebody put up posters all around Lewisham saying that they'd lost their homing pigeon and I really love animals so I kind of stood there reading the poster feeling really sorry for the person that oh my gosh they'll be really worried they'll be out frantically looking for their homing pigeon and then the thought struck me how how do you lose a homing pigeon did they move if your homing pigeon doesn't come back in fact what you've lost is a pigeon so it's technically impossible you can't can you because it's nominative determinism it's defined by its own name so you can't have it can you like oh no my immortal dogs died I'm a bulletproof cat got shot the reason I moved to Lucien I've never been there I took the first flats I could find on the internet when I was moving in with my boyfriend I found my boyfriend for 11 months so I'm sitting that lovely bit we cry all the time [Music] we moved in together after two months right where it's very quick it was very early in our relationship but I just couldn't bear waking up without him in the morning and he couldn't afford his rent I really wish I could shown to you because he has the best body shape that a man can have I don't if you've ever seen a man like this he's got very thin arms and legs very thin and then in the middle a massive belly a combination it's got bad posture and he eats terribly little carbohydrates sugary things I tell him all the time how much I love that belly and he thinks it's because I don't want him to get insecure but it's not it's because I'm pretending he's having our child all the time when you're in a new relationship you'd all have had this experience it's very exciting for everyone else around you so people always ask Oh how's it going and it's such a difficult question to answer how are you supposed to actually describe the feeling of being in love using language it doesn't come anywhere near the truth at the beginning I used to attempt to use analogies so people will say Oh how's it going and I would say oh it's like I've always been a plant but I used to be in a garden center or a supermarket and a shelf and now I'm in the garden and you can't say that to people I've learned that so now what happens people go all how's it going and I say fine and but then my friend the other day she said well you don't seem very happy and I said yeah that's because I'm not with him I'm here with you apparently that's very rude actually Sarah it's very important that you stay in contact with your friends but why have got him now and then she said well what about if you break up but if we break up then I'll kill myself so still don't need you and we live in a society that considers any relationship that doesn't last until your death a failure and that's what really concerned me at the beginning with my boyfriend realize how happy I was I started worrying that we would break up one day because all my previous relationships have finished and I don't want that to happen and what I found out is you shouldn't worry about the ending at the beginning it ruins everything and it's illogical it's like giving birth to a baby dressed as the Grim Reaper turning up a job interview and going ah what's the point if you don't sack me I'll quit and so that's why I was thinking about other couples I thought a lot about Adam and Eve because they of course were the original couple and yeah sure at the beginning it's all magical it's all staying up late counting each other's ribs and laughing over time the magic fades his boring she's off talking to wildlife and comfort eating and then their landlord kicked them out one of their kids kills the other one and if they can't make it work in paradise what chance have I got in Lewisham we don't have a lot of problems it is early days the two things we have made my boyfriend we always have around when I'm getting dressed because he thinks it takes too long and he doesn't understand that I have to try on all of my trousers because some of my trousers are liars about the shape and size of my legs and different trousers lie on different days so I never know who's going to be doing it and I have to try them all on and I don't know who's behind it if it's NATO or the Illuminati but they're trying to slow me down and the other thing I don't like leaving him alone in the house because I'm worried he's having sex with somebody that he thinks is me yes my worry is I've got a doppelganger someone who looks exactly like me and he's doing it with her and the reason is apart from the beginning where it was very passionate I don't think that we have enough sex anymore but he says that we have plenty which makes me think he must be having it with someone he thinks is me that's annoying on two levels like number one he's cheating on me behind my back and number two I'm not allowed to have a go at him about it because he thought it was me I mean what if she said she was me that is the kind of thing I would say Oh being kind of flippant a person is very serious subject now really hope you've never had this experience but if you're the person in a relationship who wants to have sex more than the other person and you get rejected all the time what you ends up with is sexual frustration and that it's just such a horrible thing it's a vicious cycle it's game over because you can't seduce anybody once are sexually frustrated when you need it most you can't encourage someone to do it with you by crying with rage and I've tried talking about it both on stage and to his mom I can't talk to my mom about it my mom's brilliant and I love her and respect her but she is very bad advice especially about sex my mom has brought up Catholic she thought that was very oppressive and she tried to liberate me and my sisters by giving us all of the information okay too much information when I was 11 before I started secondary school my mom gave me a lecture about cunnilingus hmm in preparation for secondary school told me what it was and then she said that whenever I went to bed with a boy I was to insist that he do this as a mark of respect I was trying to do she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure it had the exact opposite effect it ruins everything there was no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if you're thinking mom would be proud very similar kind of age I still would've been in the first year at school it's about 11 i must have heard somebody using the word swats right I must have picked it up was in around with my mom I called her twice and she was very angry but also calm and she stopped me said that's a very ugly word about a very beautiful part of the female anatomy and then she drew me a very very detailed vagina demonstration of her point so obviously what happened was the next day at school I heard somebody calling somebody at watts and I marched over said no actually it's very ugly word but very beautiful part of the female anatomy and I drew them a very very detailed vagina so subsequently at school for five years I was known as a raving and predatory lesbian we were children we had no idea what a lesbian was but it was probably the girls surrounded by self drawn genitalia on people all the time and I would argue that it is better to be called a [ __ ] than Leonardo de Minjae I don't know if you know but there's this organization they called no more page three and they want page three banned not just because yeah whoa not just because it's objectification but because it's so pervasive it seems acceptable children grow up thinking and that's an OK way to look at women but ever since they've existed there's been a backlash against them of people pointing out and rightly so we live in the Western world known as coerce to become a page 3 girl that is their choice why are feminists oppressing other women and also if you took it away how they supposed to earn their living I did think I said yeah this is an unsolvable problem until I did solve it in a dream we have to make page three like jury duty over the age of 18 becomes eligible for page three and then all that happens is one day you get up and there's a letter and it says oh dear Sarah please come to the sauna fizzes at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning bring some snazzy pants great about Syria and then you have to do it because if page three represented the whole spectrum of what it looked like to be a woman it wouldn't be objectification anymore it would just be nudity it wouldn't be dangerous because it would show all the different kinds of breasts there'd be small ones and Psyche ones and different sized ones and hairy ones and men men would still like it because it still boobies they're very young very beautiful women it's not them I'm attacking it's the system but the facial expression is coquettish so it's permissive it allows them to be looked at what it says to the viewer is oh you just found me in the garden I haven't got a top on and you shouldn't really be looking cushion my best friend's dad [Music] it's okay whereas with the new system the woman on page 3 should be 52 she'll be a dinner lady she'll be aghast and horrified at what they're gonna say at work the next day and she'll be looking straight down the lens know exactly what you're doing page 3 - or die out on its own might in it without anyone having to tell anyone what to do now when you say things like this this is what I get now is that people they attack you by saying oh it's because you're jealous you're not as good-looking as Caesar for women you don't want anyone else looking and it's not jealousy I love beautiful women and I like looking at women but actually the only thing that makes me jealous is pornography I don't like the idea of my boyfriend watching it I do think it's kind of a form of infidelity because if you imagining himself having sex with other women and I don't understand why he needs to watch it when I draw him such great vaginas here he hates being in my stand-up he doesn't like me talking about him he hates what I say about his belly at the beginning the first time he saw me do that at a gig he started a diet but he's only lost weight from his arms and legs he also did the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me right he waited to me after a gig once as a surprise he's trying to spice things up he waited for me it's been all day rewriting the rules two trivial pursuits so make it strip trivial pursuit he was like come on Sarah we'll go straight home we'll have a drink we'll have a sexy time and I don't know if any of you have ever played strip Trivial Pursuit but let me tell you what it is that is you sitting on a chair with no clothes on feeling fat watching someone fully clothed beat you at Trivial Pursuit and thank you so much for having me enjoy the rest of your night [Applause] are you ready for our final active evening please going crazy for the wonderful mr. Nathan Cato [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hello hello hello evening guys guys all right my name is Nathan Katyn I'm from a little town cooler called Green fridge in West London really you've never been there before grievers the kind of area where like everyone thinks do a bad boy but deep down everyone is soft this [ __ ] keep it for example remember a few summers ago we had the the famous riots up and down the country right and then during the wires the rioters they were targeting the same kind of shops you know footlocker coffin warehouse JD sports you know the obvious pays us to loot if you're gonna loot in Greenford you know they looted hobby craft that's how bad boy green for this during the riots there were young kids go in your blood your blood a war a new hood here but I want to make it myself real bad boys do arts and crafts gave me yeah so I live living green foot I live at home with my mom still thank you for that judgmental silence no I like to get out away from the top no cuz I've come to realise that and who some people you have a bit of an issue with the fact that I still live at home with my mom I did a gig not too long ago where I go I'll go booed off stage for saying I live at home right I walked our when hey guys how you doing my name is Nathan cotton I'll tell a bit about myself I still live at home with my family and as soon as I said it the whole audience with [Music] mm all right no no I'm Anne Shiell oh gosh the last time I do a charity gig for orphanage my family kicked me piss off who they gonna cry - no yeah I do Jerry we live at home I live at home I live with my mom and my stepdad but they got married quite recent right now well don't get me wrong listen I'm happy for my mum she's found happiness that's great she deserves it however at the moment they're still going to the hold that honeymoon phase we're having sex all the time yeah that is bloody disturbing man cuz my victim is like right next door so every time they do it I hear everything like a few Saturdays ago it's late at night I'm about to go to sleep from next door I can hear my stepdad going oh yes oh yes oh yes oh yes Ola Ola say something nasty say something nasty nasty so I screamed out you're not my real dad [Applause] showed him my house shagging my mom or idiot living at home boy I mean it's no bad dog there are some good things about living at home how come the best thing for me is my neighbor I've got like the best next-door neighbor in the world so I'm an old lady called mrs. Bishop lovely sweet old lady but she's um he's overly PC when it comes to race but she's like petrified of a paving racist so much so that whenever she talks to me or my family she never says the word black instead she says urban but she'll say somewhat late for Nathan um do you know they're little they're little urban kid from from number five if you know one with the big urban hair you seen a man you don't have to do that man that's dumb on so many different levels I mean like firstly urban it's not an adequate replacement for black who eye opens the city anyone can be open to the word black it's not racist it's a color I'm not gonna get offended over a color I'm a human being not a bull and three even if the word black was racist I still wouldn't be offended if you said it cuz you're black too spit it out I'm immature I know I'm immature I get told all the time remember true I think a big reason why I'm so immature is um it's cause of my mates I'll make sure hang on if they're very immature welcome my mate Paul is a prime example of how immature we are right like my mate Paul he's um he's all I like to call a bit of a lad which is basically a man's way of saying he's a bellend but he's my mate that's all I'll add is in it like he's a [ __ ] but I've known it for too long to get rid of him right boy that's a typical lad like he does lat things that lads say things that are maybe like racist sexist misogynistic or homophobic and then they always justify it by going butter in it but it burns burns burns burns dance like a proper [ __ ] poor that's all the time I remember one time I'm England or paint Poland the World Cup qualifier and rocky was the FA allocated 18,000 tickets to the Poland fans which is like double the normal amount Paul found out and he was like yeah bro that's cool if the FA want to let 18,000 polish people into Wembley Stadium it's the least they could do after all you'll probably built the place in it that's dumb I mean firstly that's a lazy stereotype not all Polish people are builders secondly Wembley Stadium was 75 million pounds over budget and four years behind schedule that's called British builders we own [Music] again we racist just be accurate that's one can I like nose be more than racism itself lazy sloppy racism right I'm not saying that it's like good parts of racism but lazy sloppy raisin really gets on my nerves were giving example I mean a story which happened during a summer there's a black football player called dani alves right he pays for Barcelona now he'll take one game and during a match a fan from the crowd Chuck - banana him just run and power right but Danielle was oh he's quite cool till they get to him pizza dough banana ate it try to wear the skin no now when it happened some of my white friends were asking me how I felt because um that's what happens every time did you store any news that's linked to black people anytime like I guarantee at least one of my white friends will talk to me notice how I feel but how black people feel as a whole we don't know get together and discuss [ __ ] p.m. queues of black people you know you'll get together in a room there's a speaker I'm going ora ora ora come on black people let's start proceedings we're already half an hour late because we all turn up late okay first topic on the agenda now the America have started another horrific war in Middle East is Barack Obama still black or now mixed race disgust we don't get together but I guarantee anytime is the black story my white friends will come to me I come end of 2013 3 of my white friends text me the same thing going hey brother I heard about Mandela are you ok of course I was says Mandela I was outside I think everyone said I was I was sad but it also like um this might sound weird coming from a black person but I don't mind saying it cuz you know it's honestly how I felt umm looking at the love and adoration that was shown towards Mandela after he passed away it kind of made me a bit jealous there here in UK we haven't had that same kind of segregation of racism how I mean there's this logic to it not hear me out in South Africa they had the whole apartheid movement as a result they got inspirational black leaders you know like a Nelson Mandela Desmond Tutu in America they had a civil rights movement as a result they got inspirational black leaders you know like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King here in the UK we've had nothing as a result who have we got Lenny Henry from the Halifax adverts don't get me wrong I love those guys but it's not the same man listen sir I've got a point I was talking about dani alves the black football player who had been on a truck to hit mine and i said after it happened my white friends not been racist just just casually asked me how I felt now how I felt was I was offended but not for the reason that they thought I'd be offended like I wasn't offended because it was racist I was offended because of how it was racist you know the guy chucked a banana really a banana what kind of lazy boring uncreative racism is that man it's not the 18th century the 21st century black people we've moved on we like other things now you know Nando's menu man no no that's the racism that's potassium I'm not offended by that some of you love sports man I'm a massive sports fan me and my mates always arguing about sports no hugging my stuff I couldn't we like to run argument me my mates in particular what's an argument started a year a former football player yeah he came mining news right to reveal that he's gay now that's cool fair credit to him coming out that's so good however at the same time I can't help I think why is it someone famous we're feeling that they gay is still seen as a headline no it shouldn't be a headline to be gay in today's day and age that's so what you know like that shouldn't be ahead no it's okay it's cool your game what do you want your cookie but the weapon was after that player came out I was talking to a mate of mine who is gay cuz um that's what happens every time they're still in the news that's linked to gave me I was asking him how gay people throw as a whole but I've seen I don't get it like why is it a big deal to be gained today's in a it's not a taboo it's normal its accepted it's cool right what am i mate who's done are Nathan Nathan let me stop you dear okay yes I hear what you mean you know the world it's more tolerant it's more liberal yeah I get that but trust me if someone famous comes out it's still a big issue in it because like gay people we're still seen as a minority you know like you've been black for example no it's not but when I was 17 18 years old I didn't have to gather my family together mom grandma I was something to tell you guys yeah mom remember the other day when you came in my room and um I was reading the Nando's menu when you asked me why and grandma remember last weekend when I picked you up and I was half an hour late for no reason no net yeah well basically it's because I'm um it's a because I'm what why what what do is what do is because I'm know who is you is yeah I'm urban [Applause] we had a good time thank you for coming ladies gentlemen tonight you've seen Sara Pascoe [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Ovid

Views: 526,020

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Id: Cl2AgXfhNZA

Length: 44min 6sec (2646 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 30 2018