Little Miss Teacher’s Friend - SNL

>>> LIVE FROM SCHOOL, IT'S LITTLE MISS TEACHER'S FRIEND. ♪ IN MATH SHE GOT AN A PLUS PEER MEDIATOR ON THE BUS IT'S LITTLE MISS TEACHER'S FRIEND ♪ >> HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE 29BLE ANNUAL LITTLE MISS TEACHER'S FRIEND PAGEANT. I'M YOUR HOST, THE PRINCIPAL. >> WOOOO! >> NO, ENOUGH! WE ALL HAVE TEACHERS, BUT WHAT DO TEACHERS HAVE? STUDENTS. AND WHAT SOMETIMES ARE STUDENTS? SWEET. AND THE SWEETEST STUDENT OF ALL IS THE TEACHER'S FRIEND. HERE WITH US IS LAST YEAR'S WINNER. SOMEONE I NEVER SEE IN MY OFFICE, SABRINA KIRPATSKY. >> WELL SAID, PRINCIPAL. AND GOOD EVENING AND THANKS FOR ALL FOR BEING HERE. >> SABRINA, YOU WERE OR WINNER LAST YEAR. WHAT MAKES YOU A GOOD TEACHER'S FRIEND? >> WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT QUESTION. I SEE ADULTS AS PEERS AND CHILDREN AS DISGUSTING. I'M A NATURAL HELPER AND A SHOOSH-ER OF BOYS. AND MOST OF ALL, I'M GENUINELY TEACHER'S ACTUAL VERY GOOD FRIEND. >> ALL RIGHT. AND HERE TO JUDGE THE CONTEST IS THE TEACHER HERSELF. MRS. PALLARRO. ♪ SHE'S PERFECT SHE'S SPECIAL ONCE SHE PUT ME IN CHARGE OF THE CLASSROOM AND I FELT LIKE SUCH A STAR ♪♪♪ >> HI, SABRINA. I WANT TO BE CLEAR, THIS WHOLE THING IS VERY SWEET, BUT I WANT TO BE CLEAR THAT I DON'T SEE YOU AS MY FRIENDS. YOU'RE MY STUDENTS. >> MRS. PALLARRO, YOU ARE VERY FUNNY. >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S MEET OUR HOPEFULS. FIRST UP, SHE'S 12 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER SIBLINGS, IT'S CORRINE. ♪♪♪ CORRINE LOVES HORSES, BUT IS SCARED OF THEM. SHE'S TAKEN FOUR CPR CLASSES JUST IN CASE. AND JUST RECENTLY SHE HAD A MEETING WITH THE NURSE ABOUT WASHING HER HAIR. >> CORRINE, YOUR QUESTION. PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR MOST EPIC TATTLE. >> OH, GLADLY. ONE TIME ON THE BUS, A.J. DREW MARGE SIMPSON WITH HER BOOBS OUT. AND I WANTED TO TELL TEACHER SO BAD THAT I OPENED THE EMERGENCY EXIT, I ROLLED ONTO THE STREET AND I BROKE MY RIBS. >> WOW. SO COMMITTED TO TATTLING. THANK YOU, CORRINE. >> WAIT. CAN I SAY MY WISH? >> OH, OF COURSE. >> I WISH MY PEERS WOULD BEHAVE THEMSELVES SO MRS. POLLARRO WOULDN'T HAVE A HEADACHE ALL THE TIME. >> OKAY. WOW. THAT'S BEAUTIFULLY PUT. THANK YOU, CORRINE. >> NEXT UP IT'S DINA M. DINA GETS HURT OUTDOORS VERY EASILY. AND GET THIS -- SHE KNOWS A LOT OF SAINTS. >> NOW, DINA, MARCH 7th IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, WHICH OF COURSE WE ALL KNOW IS MRS. PALLARRO'S BIRTHDAY. WHAT WILL YOU BUY HER AND WHY? >> WELL, I KNOW SHE LIKES DOGS AND THE PACKERS. SO MAYBE A DIAMOND NECKLACE? >> CORRECT. THAT'S CORRECT. >> OKAY. THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR ME TO REMIND EVERYONE, PLEASE DON'T BUY ME EXPENSIVE GIFTS. IT PUTS ME IN A WEIRD SPOT. >> OH, TEACHER IS SO MODEST. >> THIS YEAR'S DARK HORSE, IT'S BRITTANY. BRITTANY GETS TO DO WORD SEARCHES INSTEAD OF GYM, BECAUSE OF HER SCOLIOSIS, HER ASTHMA, AND HER RELIGION. [ LAUGHTER ] HER GREATEST WISH IS FOR HER FAMILY TO LET HER BE A PALLBEARER. >> BRITTANY, YOUR QUESTION. WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE TEACHER DOING IN HER HOUSE WHEN SHE GETS HOME AFTER SCHOOL? I IMAGINE SHE READS MY BOOK REPORT OUT LOUD TO HER HUSBAND WHO I SAW ONCE. HE WAS BALD. [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH IS FUNNY. >> THAT IS FUNNY. THANK YOU, BRITTANY. REMEMBER, THE WINNER OF LITTLE MISS TEACHER'S FRIEND WILL TAKE HOME A GORGEOUS FRAMED PHOTO OF MRS. PALLARRO'S WEDDING IN CABO. >> OH, OH, SABRINA. DID YOU PRINT THAT OFF MY INSTAGRAM? >> YES. >> WE'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO CELEBRATE THE CASUALTIES OF TATTLING, THE BAD BOYS. >> A.J., T.J., B.J., J.J. AND MIKEY MARTORI, WHO I DID HAVE A CRUSH ON. BACK TO YOU. >> PLEASE, CALL ME THE PRINCIPAL. >> VERY WELL. >> AND NOW, THE WINNER. WHO WILL IT BE? >> ACTUALLY THERE WON'T BE A WINNER, BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT. I'LL BE ON MATERNITY LEAVE AFTER CHRISTMAS. YOU'LL HAVE A SUB THE REST OF THE YEAR. >> NO! >> OKAY. WELL, THEY'RE CRYING. SO THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE. I AM THE PRINCIPAL. >> NOOOO!

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 1,838,482

Rating: 4.9215178 out of 5

Keywords: snl, saturday night live, snl season 45, snl 45, david harbour, aidy bryant, kate mckinnon, melissa villaseñor, chloe fineman, ego nwodim, bowen yang, little miss teachers friend, pageant, beauty pageant, teacher, teachers pet, s45, s45e3, episode 3, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, actor, musician, David Harbour, stranger things, hellboy, chief hopper, camila cabello, senorita, cry for me, easy

Id: fs79leD9Atc

Length: 5min 11sec (311 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 12 2019