Life Story: Me VS Water

Water is one of those things where it can be a pure giver of life But it can also kill you like without hesitation. "He's got a knife!" My relationship with water has been Not great I think the best way to sum it up is I was born in a cozy little Metropolitan city on the coast And at six months my parents brought me to the ocean to see it for the first time "Dingo dingo look, isn't it beautiful?" "hmm?" *SCREAM* It didn't go great. I think I was just born to hate water: Pools Puddles Sprinklers Frozen water's okay! I can skate for days, but liquify that stuff and I will not hesitate to sacrifice you for my own survival I'm like a cat But with more screaming and then in school you got those swimming days. Did you guys ever have those? Yeah... it's pretty much those days where you go to the local pool and learn how to swim.. or for me the day I try not to vomit in the pool out of pure fear...... I didn't have a lot of friends... So.. All the kids who could survive being tossed in a puddle would go off and learn in the deep end How to swim while I'm left in the "you really couldn't drown on this side of the pool" I'm pretty sure they looked at me when I would be attempting to swim and was like: "Yeah." "Yeah, I don't think this one's gonna make it " I guess Best for my parents not to get too attached I think the best thing I got out of that class was learning how to stay afloat without dragging somebody down with me So I had a teacher's assistant with me the teacher's assistant was really nice and she'd do this thing where I would lie on my back kick and swim and you know, Desperately try to keep myself up But then she'd simply hold my head and sing to me trying to calm me down and help me concentrate on not freaking out until I would start to panic and then she'd kind of start panicking You could tell because she'd start to sing faster and faster like there's a bomb to defuse Cuz she knew I'd drag her down with me I'd do it! But other than that It was nice I managed to learn eventually how to swim thanks to her but only enough to survive Now boats! Those are another story Specially the tiny boats like canoes or kayaks Nah, man. Nah I, I don't know what it is But being in a fiberglass tub that's only like an inch thick of material between me and the 700 feet of Life crushing water of death Is not very reassuring to me I mean props to people in history traveling great distances in those things I mean in history I'm pretty sure they would have looked at me and been like: "Yeah." "Yeah, I don't think this one's gonna make it" When I was 10 years old We planned a family trip out to a little lake to go have a picnic But in order to get to the picnic spot we had to cross the lake in a canoe . . . *Trying to escape* "NOOO!!!!" It took my parents 35 minutes!! 35 minutes of me clawing biting and screaming to get my butt into the damn boat. Yeah, there was a there's a lot of screaming in my childhood And we're just you know going along and on the lake and then there's just like this moment of silence "Huh..." "I guess this isn't so bad" My mother wanted to throw me in I know she would never admit it but I just got this vibe from her You know, the I want to kill my kid vibe. I don't blame her Anyway! I've also had a war with water slides It's like: "Oh, yeah!" "Let's give you an experience of being in enclosed space with an unstoppable force of gravity combined with water." Look. I'm a frolicker. I like to just leisurely be in the water I'm kind of like one of those chill hot spring monkeys you find in Japan Don't think too hard on that. Look. I don't need to experience water faster in tube form However, I slowly started to enjoy some water slides but really only the ones for like little kids.. I've made my peace with that. But one day one of my friends like: "All right!" "I found the perfect water slide for you" "All you gotta do is be on this little board and slide right down" "e a s y" "Never in my life" "Have I ever watched someone even remotely come into contact with water" "while going down this thing." Now this slide wasn't massive but it also wasn't a kiddie slide.. but all day I'd been like Rejecting slides.. So I finally gave in and was like: "Can't.." "Can't kill me, right?" *Death has joined the game* "HEY!!" So I fight through my anxiety grab my little kiddy board stand in line with the 12 year olds and fight my fear ".....you'r gonna die....." "HMMMMMMMMMMM" Fly down picking up speed and I even start to kinda sorta enjoy it. "Okay. Yeah. This isn't umm.. this isn't so bad" Then I start to wobble "Shouldn't have egged on the reaper." Then the whole thing flips and I hit the slide tumbling all the way down. "Ap! Oup!! Auch!!! A! Auch.." To eventually sliding face-first down to the bottom of the slide. "I..." "I didn't..." "I didn't know you could do that..." Even the guy working the slide was like: "I didn't..." "I didn't know you could do that..." "I think I'm done." "Yeah, that's fair" But yeah water, water and I have always had a... had a beef.. But I think at this point in my life We've kind of like reached a peace agreement where: "I don't mess with you and you don't mess with me" But yeah, I don't know. I don't know what the moral of the story was. I guess... I survived this long HAHA Suck it Yeah

Channel: Dingo Doodles

Views: 4,229,999

Rating: 4.9342041 out of 5

Keywords: Storytime Animation, storytime, funny story, funny storytime animation, animatic, animation, water, fear of water

Id: QrexIfrvuUo

Length: 6min 1sec (361 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 28 2019