Success

hey how does it feel to jump to a hundred thousand subscribers in just four months I find it strange how we have lessons and teachings on how to be successful in life you know study work improve repeat over and over and over and over again till we finally get the success we've been dreaming of for our entire life and then the teaching just stops you have finally done it you have succeeded yeah wait wait what do I do now wait what what do I do with all this no figure it out peace I think sometimes people see success as people being on these high rising towers wow they must be having such a great time up there up so high such a great view must feel amazing uh can can somebody let me down I'm alone and afraid of heights and oh oh there's there's a lot of birds up here Oh God ah and when you're up so high on the tower you slowly or very quickly realize you have a long way to fall or you think at any moment the tower is going to collapse any second now any second now I'm gonna reach my doom mm-hmm Oh God because you realize that when you put that pen to the paper that line that you draw will reach a lot of people so if you mess up it'll have a big impact or at least that's how it feels people can make mistakes people should make mistakes that's how we grow and learn but when your audience is no longer a hundred but a hundred thousand it can be pretty intimidating then you start to feel like you should censor yourself like put up walls like you should be somebody else even though people liked your stuff because you were you you suddenly are walking through a minefield where you don't know if one of your words or actions is just gonna set somebody off as creators it's scary and very constricting all you want to do is make stuff I just want to draw damnit you fear your audience I don't want to feel that way I want to work with my audience not for my audience being worried about everything I create or put out it's it's kind of funny cuz I made this channel because I was tired of thinking about other people's opinions about my work heck when I started this I threw caution to the wind and my confidence wasn't bad it wasn't great but it wasn't bad yet now I feel like my confidence is even worse I mean how does that make sense you suddenly have people telling you that your stuff is great and and fun and they love it and your confidence is lower like that doesn't that doesn't add up then you start to obsess you start obsessing about the numbers on your videos if your video is doing well and gets really high you feel great and when it doesn't reach that you feel low and like you failed you're on this like emotional yo-yo that's being conducted by the number gods like your self-worth is attached to these damn digits yeah none of this is healthy I know some people don't talk about this stuff because they think they'll be seen as I'm grateful or people don't want some weird self pity or something I mean it's like how could you possibly complain about this you ungrateful child well first of all I'm not ungrateful all of this has been really amazing more amazing than anything I've experienced in my career I love it that other people love my stuff and I love making it and I'm not complaining I think it's important to talk about coz for people in the world that are going through this through any success really they think they're alone everyone is telling them how great it is how they should just they should feel on top of the world but all I want to do is curl up in a ball and forget it ever happened you feel like you're going crazy why why do I feel like this you're hit by this realization of the scale of it all and the pressure that comes with it but I see that I'm not alone I've talked to friends and family and even other creators about this yeah I stirred up had a mental breakdown when I had my success and had to go off and live in the woods with the animals and I obsessed about tennis for some weird reason yeah I suddenly felt like I couldn't make anything like everything I would do would just be awful suddenly I felt like I had no idea what I was doing through all of this I've also seen that I am definitely a self-sabotage err and I have that impostor syndrome kind of thing going on where I feel like I'm not worthy like you also have the wrong person like I shouldn't be here why am I here you're obviously all deluded it's strange because sometimes I believe the bad comments more than the good ones which is crazy I feel like they're trying to be nice and when you get a bad comment you go see see I told you I'm awful they were right i goddamn knew it which again is crazy look at it like this I have a bakery I make you a cake wow this cake is awesome it very tasty liar I can do better and I slap the cake out of your hand oh my cake then I make you another cake Wow this cake is even more amazing how did you do that liar you're just trying to be nice to me and then I slapped the kick out of your hand again I don't know I just like slapping cakes out of people's hands I guess then another then another until eventually I just burned down the bakery because I can't handle it all and I can't keep topping myself I can see why people shut down and just go off and want to live in the woods out in the middle of nowhere but that's not healthy and it's not true to the experience and I know some of this won't resonate with people and that's okay this video if anything is about recognizing it and moving on I want to make this to start the process of being better and less self-destructive I don't know the answers to all this and that's okay like I've said this channel is supposed to be therapy for me and for some I hope it helps actually because to know that you're not alone can really help to know that you're not crazy and there is a solution out there I don't know what it is but I'm determined to work towards it and I'm excited to find it I'm excited to make things and have fun and be okay with all of it I'm gonna stop apologizing and work towards being a little more confident I guess yeah I would say that I think I'm at that point where I can move forward so thank you all for helping me grow as a person yeah and here's to the next hundred thousand mmm yeah I'll get there eventually mm-hmm

Channel: Dingo Doodles

Views: 335,956

Keywords: animatic, animation, thoughts, life, self thoughts, idea, success, 100k

Id: 2xuEmR2-MbU

Length: 7min 37sec (457 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 25 2018