Keeping It Real Can Go Very Wrong - Chappelle’s Show

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- Yo Tanisha, it was good seeing you. (record scratching) - [Narrator] Darius heard the comment and had a simple choice to make. Ignore what the man had said and take Tanisha home. Or stay at the party and keep it real. When keeping it real goes wrong. - So I'm Dave, and I keep it real. Sometimes keeping it real can go horribly wrong. We gotta pick our spots. It's good to be real sometimes. It's good to be phony sometimes. Yes, I said it, phony! You think I'm this nice in real life? (beeping) That, son! (audience laughing) Just 'cause I'm on TV. I'm wild! I'll pull my balls out right now. I don't care, skeet, skeet, skeet! (audience cheering) If you don't believe me that keeping it real ain't the best thing, then take a look at this. - [Narrator] Vernon Franklin was an exceptional young man. He was the valedictorian of his high school class, won several scholarships, and became the first person in his family to attend college. He got a good job and worked 14 hour days six days a week. Quickly becoming the youngest vice president in the history of the Viacorp Corporation. Ending the cycle of violence and drug addiction that had plagued his family for generations. The officers of his company were wrapping up the usual Thursday meeting in the south conference room when Frank Murphy, the man who had mentored Vernon, made an awkward comment. - Vernon, great job, buddy. You the man! Give me some skin, huh? - [Narrator] Vernon got along with all of the people he worked with. Which in his heart of hearts made him feel like an Uncle Tom. Though he could have ignored the simple comment his mentor made, Vernon decided to keep it real. - Get your mother (beeping) hand outta my face. You heard me mother (beeping)! Get your hands outta my face! What do you think this is, man? Just shake my hand like a man. Give me some five on the back hand side with all this crazy jive? That's bull (beeping). Wanna little soft shoe? Should I chug some watermelon for you, boss? All that, nigga. - Hey Vernon, buddy. - Get your mother (beeping) hands off me, Frank! This ain't a game. - This isn't the Vernon I know. - Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Ho. You ain't heard that before, have you? Rap leads to changes. I used to beat mother (beeping) up just like you. Just for walking around my way, nigga! - Vernon, Vernon, buddy. - You better step the (beeping) down, Frank. - Excuse me? - I said, sit down, bitch. Thug life! You think this is a game, nigga? (barking) Wu Tang! - [Narrator] Today Vernon works at Sonny's Fill 'Er Up on Route 80 in New Jersey. He makes 6.45 an hour and stinks of gasoline even when he's not at the station. It's as real as it can be. - A dollar? What am I gonna get with a dollar, nigga? I got kids. And that's real. - [Narrator] Vernon Franklin, once a heart warming story of perseverance. - Wu Tang! - [Narrator] Today a sparkling example of when keeping it real goes wrong. - People say to me all the time, Dave you got that show but remember brother, keep it real. Very good advice. Not always as easy as it seems. Sometimes, folks, keeping it real works against ya. - [Narrator] Darius James was out on a date with his girlfriend Tanisha Bradley. Darius was almost certain the night would end with sex. But as they were leaving confrontation reared its ugly head. - Yo, Tanisha it was good seeing you. (record scratching) - [Narrator] Darius heard the comment and had a simple choice to make. Ignore what the man had said and take Tanisha home. Or stay at the party and keep it real. - What'd you say, man? Good seeing you? Good seeing you? I don't play that (beeping)! That my girl, nigga! I keep it real! - [Narrator] What Darius didn't know is that Chris was a 10th degree black belt who started trouble just so he could practice his karate in street fighting scenarios. What ensued was one of the most spectacular ass whoopings ever witnessed in the Atlantic northeast. Viewer discretion is advised. - Ah! (smacking) (audience laughing) - [Narrator] Darius lost four of his teeth, fractured his arm, spine and pelvis, and then Tanisha got involved. - All his talk about keeping it real was getting on my last nerves. I savored that ass whooping. (audience laughing) - Kick him in ass. (audience laughing) - [Narrator] The tag team ass whooping continued for minutes. Ending when karate expert Chris left with Tanisha. That night they had sex three times. As a result of his hospital bills Darius was forced to move back in with his grandma. - This knucklehead talking about keeping it real. I'm gonna keep it real. I want his god damn ass outta my house. Been trying to get my swerve on too. (beeping) - [Narrator] Darius is humiliated on a daily basis. - Granny don't! - Well hurry the hell up and finish yourself off. Unlike you, I'm getting a little action tonight you punk bitch. (audience laughing) - [Narrator] He is witness to things that no many should ever have to see. (audience groaning) - Darius, you big dummy. This ain't no show and tell. Take a walk. - Yeah, and get some rubbers. - And get the big ones. - (beeping) Right. (audience laughing) - [Narrator] From most assuredly having sex with his girl to getting beat up and moving back with his family. - Granny, don't! - [Narrator] Darius James showed us what can happen when keeping it real goes wrong. - We all just gotta be careful. When you're keeping it real, pick your spots. Reality is hidden for a reason. And now we will show you why. (dramatic music) - [Narrator] Brenda Johnson was at home one night eating popcorn and watching television with her girlfriend. The telephone rang. (ringing phone) - Hello? (dial tone) - [Narrator] Brenda had a simple choice to make. Ignore the mild rudeness of someone hanging up on her or keep it real. - (beeping) that! I don't like people playing on my phone. - Girl, don't even trip. You bigger than that. - No, I don't like people playing on my phone. - [Narrator] But in reality it had nothing to do with people playing on her phone. Brenda had long suspected her boyfriend Jamal of cheating on her. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. (dialing) - Hello? - Did you just call here, bitch? - Excuse me. - I know you just called here. Don't play dumb with me. Stop (beeping) my man. - I don't know what you're talking about. I dialed the wrong number, okay? - I star sixty-nined you, you dirty hoe! You and I both know you sleeping with Jamal. - No, I was trying to call my aunt. - Oh bitch, please. You a bitch and so is your aunt. (scoffs) Oh no, she did not hang up on me again. - Again? - [Narrator] Brenda could have ended the conflict there. - You wanna play, bitch? Let's play. - [Narrator] But she decided to push her real-o-meter into the red. - 'Cause I keeps it real like that. - [Narrator] Brenda went onto her computer and did a reverse look up of Janice's number. Not only did she get Janice's address but directions as well. - I'm fittin' to ride on this bitch. (audience laughing) (breaking glass) Won't be (beeping) Jamal in this car, hoe. (alarm blaring) Take that, you clap havin' Jezebel! - It was a wrong number! - (beeping) That! I don't like people playing on my phone. I keeps it real. - I was like, hello? - [Narrator] What Brenda didn't know is that Janice was borrowing the car from her older brother a federal agent. She also didn't know that defacing a government vehicle is considered a felony in certain cases. This being one of them. After a short trial Brenda was sentenced to six years in federal prison. (funky music) - What's really hood, bitch? - [Narrator] Brenda knew it was important to establish her realness early in prison. Confronted by another pivotal decision, she decided then and there to keep it real. - All right, bitch, let's settle this right now. (smacking) - [Narrator] The three women were all serving consecutive life sentences. It turned out they kept it realer. (audience laughing) And as for her boyfriend Jamal. - You wanna talk about keeping it real. - [Narrator] He was cheating on Brenda with her best friend. - I keeps it real. (giggling) Ain't that right, shorty? - That's right. - [Narrator] From eating popcorn in the comfort of her own home to eating fruit cocktail off of a prison floor, Brenda Rounds. - (beeping) that! I don't like people playing on my phone. - [Narrator] Just another case of what can happen when keeping it real goes wrong.
Info
Channel: Comedy Central
Views: 3,509,289
Rating: 4.8979492 out of 5
Keywords: Chappelles Show, Chappelle’s Show, David Chappelle, Chappelle, Chappelle Show, comedy central, Dave Chappelle, When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong, keeping it real, Chappelle Keeping It Real, Vernon, Vernon Franklin, race, racism, Darius James, Darius, Brenda Johnson, Brenda, funny, comedy, comedy show, funny video, comedy videos, comedian, comedians, show, tv, fear factor parody, tyrone biggums fear factor, crackhead, joe rogan chappelle’s show
Id: D3U55usfJK8
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 10min 23sec (623 seconds)
Published: Tue Jul 21 2020
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