Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the kill count where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies I'm James Agee nice and today we're looking at Jurassic world fallen Kingdom the 2018 sequel to Jurassic world well the first Jurassic world took a lot of the original Jurassic Park and repackaged it from the modern world fallen Kingdom took a different route and gave us an entirely unique and original storyline I'm just joking it's pretty much lost world once again our heroes go to an island in order to save the dinosaurs and once again the dinos instead get taken off the island by the rich villains for personal gain when I first saw fallen Kingdom in theaters I left thinking it was hands down the worst Jurassic movie I'd ever seen but after spending more time with it in order to make this Kael count I definitely changed my mind first off JP 3 is the undisputed worst Jurassic movie and nothing you say will convince me otherwise but at this point I also prefer fallen Kingdom to the original Jurassic world it helps that there are way more practical Dino puppets all over the place created by a special effects team led by Neal Scanlan who also headed the creature and makeup effects department in all the new Star Wars movies having the actors be able to physically touch all these dinos brings back some of the magic that was missing for me from Jurassic world and I can appreciate that director Jay a Bayona tried something different for falling kingdoms tone giving it way more horror elements than any of these movies since the original Jurassic Park so while I'm tearing into this thing for a bunch of stupid shit because come on this movie's pretty stupid just know that I don't hate it I've come to terms with it being a dumb fun movie for the most part a few story elements and that entire end sequence can still go fuck right off but oh yeah I'm supposed to pretend that these reviews are just kill counts so let's go count dead bodies [Music] the movie begins with an underwater vessel entering the abandoned Jurassic world on Isla Nublar the parks apparently been closed since the destruction it faced at the end of the last movie relax anything India be dead by now what it's only been like three years they weren't goldfish they were dinosaurs the submarine comes across the sunken skeleton of the indominus rex who if you'll remember from the last movie he died after mozi the Mosasaurus pulled him down into that huge lagoon that was situated smack dab in the middle of the park the sub ebro's perform a little bit of amateur operation and extract a spare rib then send it to the surface to be well extracted again but on their way out mister Mosasaurus himself comes behind that and they're killed off-screen in a real nice spooky way with us seeing the submarines lights blink off underneath the water I love the dark and stormy imagery here this whole damn cold open it's great the technician on the surface in charge of closing the lagoon gate is only partly through his task when his buddy's waiting in the helicopter sees something behind him in the dark spooky lightning flashes reveal everybody's favored apex predator and with one classic Rexy roar were back in this franchise oh man it's so good to be back the technician Jack drops his little padlock iPad during his escape and after the t-rex steps on it it breaks and the lagoon gate stops closing that thing should have had an otter box man Jack's leaps onto the helicopter ladder but it looks like they threw out a little too much slack because rexy's found a new play toy and boy does she look you playing tug of war with a chopper good girl the ladder eventually breaks and the chopper gets away but even though it seems pretty high up Jack doesn't escape the jaws of the mostess Soros who jumps out of the water and snatches him up on the chopper lets him get away talk about having a fish tale to tell the thing was this big I swear the chopper mercs are just happy to get away with their lives and that indominus rig so they fly off leaving the Mosasaurus to wait leave Jurassic world and swim out into the open sea why the fuck would you have what's essentially a fish tank holding your most prized asset open up directly to the ocean why would you design your park that way after a lava flow a title card we see a lava flow a volcano he's the Nublar is about to blow and the dinosaurs there are now endangered all over again it's an extinction level event will kill off the last living dinosaurs on the planet the US Senate is debating if they should interfere and try to protect the dinos but one public testifier thinks we should kiss our Dino pals goodbye I'm talking about you man-made cataclysmic change yeah Jeff Goldblum shows up for like five minutes in this movie with pretty much his entire performance shown in all the trailers he was only on set for one day and it feels like he gave them one reading per line and called it an afternoon just deeply sad as that would be still he successfully lobbies for the Senate not to save the dinos as Claire Dearing sees on the TV she's now a Dino activist and is much more down-to-earth as we see in this mirror shot of her introduction in Jurassic world instead of rehearsing for a business meeting she's got coffees for all her coworkers and instead of stepping out into the fancy Jurassic world laboratories she squeezes her way through a broken elevator into what looks like the campaign headquarters for a third-party mayoral candidate Claire gets summoned to Lockwood estate this giant mansion that serves as the home of Ben Lockwood why you don't know Ben Lockwood is come on he's been there since the very beginning how her at least that's what this movie tells us Hammond could build a custom lab in the sub-basement extracted the first DNA from amber right beneath her feet yeah dude he's been there all along you know except for those few years he wasn't raised pigs on a farm or something but now he's back and ready to save some dinosaurs he tells Claire that he wants to extract the dinosaurs from the bout to blow ezel a new war and take them to a sanctuary island to live in nature and peace unfortunately Lockwood's got some health problems so he's fix them to leave his estate to Eli Mills his slimy rich nephew oh wait no I'm sorry I'm thinking of back when that character was named Peter Ludlow in the lost world Mills isn't Lockwood's nephew he's just a very obvious villain and waiting played by Rafe spall who like I still don't understand how he's the son of Timothy Spall how did Timothy and his wife Shane make rate how do they do that right now Eli needs Claire to help him extract the islands most valuable dynasound well I didn't know she had a name of blue it's potentially the second most intelligent piece of life on this planet that means Claire is gonna need to get blues favorite human involved you know him you love him he's so badass he's building a goddamn house from scratch it's Owen fucking Grady hell yeah this is gonna get awkward though since once again these two are exes having split up after the events of Jurassic world I guess because Claire didn't want to follow in Matt Foley's footsteps cuz you didn't want to live in a van on the side no although Claire wants to save the dinosaurs Grady is fine with letting them go extinct in a total reversal of their personalities from the last movie I'm not saying it's unearned or anything I'm just pointing it out but later that night all it takes is some of blues baby videos to get Grady all emotional and so the next morning he's waiting for them on the plane to head to Isla Nublar there he meets Claire's two hip trendy co-workers paleo veterinarian Zia and neurotic systems analysis Franklin nervous flier would you ride a thousand pound horse it's been abused all its life I rode my motorcycle through the jungle with the pack of raptors we're not compatible that's right Franklin cuz you ain't a badass they fly to Isla Nublar which like always is presented in beautiful soaring shots and land to meet Eli's team of tough dudes who are led by Ken Wheatley who's played by Vincent D'Onofrio oh wait shit no I'm sorry I was thinking of back when that character was named Vic Hoskins in Jurassic world Wheatley is played by Ted Levine who like would you fuck him he'd fuck him they'll take a bunch of APCs into the abandoned Jurassic world stopping near the Visitor Center so Zia can get out and witness her very first in-person dinosaur and to mirror the first movies premier Dino experience you know it's got to be a majestic bovine Brachiosaurus welcome to Jurassic Park motherfuckers let me hear a little bit of that og music Yeah right in the nostalgia vain the team gets to a facility on the island and Franklin boots up the electronics with the most cliche phrase he can think of and then they look up where blue is according to her electric tag and Owens sets out to find her but not before a bit of bad ass guilt-tripping if I don't make him back remember you're the one who made me come while he looks for blue we get another reference to the original Jurassic Park even though the original Jurassic world already referenced the same thing it's almost like the sequels in this franchise have a morbid fear of being their own movie hits like daddy issues in film production form blue jumps out and yells at Grady for being a deadbeat dad and it seems like she may have forgotten some of her training Wow that was the cutest thing I've ever seen well other than Lucy playing around with my action figure of glue that's the cutest thing I've ever seen Grady badass is blue enough that she's already to be his favorite girl again when she gets darted in the neck and surrounded by the engineering team whoa no way Buffalo Bill was a bad guy fucking shocker blue doesn't go down without a fight though she jumps on one of the mercenaries there and apparently manages to fatally injure the guy at least according to the internet but before he's killed he shoots blue with his gun putting a bullet in the belly of the world's cutest killer therapod Grady gets all pissed but Wheatley just shoots him with a dart gun and way-hey blows the man down the volcano begins to burst forth and the mercenaries lock Claire and Franklin inside that control room to die meanwhile Grady is paralyzed from that dart juice and he has to roll his body away from some creeping lava like he's goddamn Leonardo DiCaprio on the wolf of Wall Street the lava is hot enough to melt bones but I guess not hot enough to burn Grady even though he's right there next to it oh and good thing you got behind that old dry wooden log their view that thing's definitely lava proof Franklin lead hackers the door open only for the computer to indicate that they're a dinosaur on the way inside some crappy looking lava starts pouring into the room and it provides the perfect moon lighting for a Baryonyx to make its entrance yeah Franklin screams a lot in this movie I guess it's supposed to be funny the Baryonyx which is a spina soul apparently has a lava proof head and that allows it to push through and keep on coming after Frankland and shit what was their name again no it was something close though oh Claire after just a couple more screams Claire and Franklin escaped through a hatch and close it shut behind them of course this is kind of out of the frying pan into the fire as the island around them is blowing itself to shitter Ian Brady runs out of the tree line with an assortment of dinosaurs on his tail and together everyone runs away from certain ecological destruction they find one of those glass gerbil balls and start to climb in but before Grady can hop inside we get the long-awaited premiere of the Carnotaurus hell yeah it's here and it's hungry and even though his arms would make a t-rex feel like Freddy Krueger in an alleyway he's got fucking devil horns on his head and that's good enough the Carnotaurus gets temporarily distracted by a sign Oh Sarah tops who's into dino body modification what you got there girl gauges in that frill after that Dino scuffle not quite a Dino fight the Carnotaurus is ready to eat some humans again until a t-rex comes out of nowhere like always to kill it Wow somebody get this t-rex a falling man pronto Rexy runs off the vanguard of a full-on Dino stampede that includes a rubbernecking Allosaurus cool eyebrows dude the Stampede is cut short by a cliff but since that gyrosphere can't stop won't stop it flies right off the edge and we see Claire and Franklin give genuine looks of terror as they fall genuine because they built a freaking roller coaster for this shot to achieve an actual zero-g fall the ball falls into the water below and leads into one the movies best sequences complete with a real sad image of Donna so struggling to stay afloat and make it even more impressive by the fact that it's all done in an apparent one-take lucky for Claire and Franklin these waters are home to the badass asaurus who swims up and helps free them from the hamster ball the three of them swim through the water and surface and more cool shots that should definitely be appreciated Jay a Bayona directed the hell out of this movie the heroes get together and watch from a cliff as Engen invades the island on a game trip or shit I'm sorry that's lost world again these heroes watched from a cliff as the mercenaries prepare to leave the island with her captive dinosaurs and because Wheatley is gonna need a character trait that'll lead to his death later he steals the stegasaurus tooth for his collection the ship loads up and Claire Grady and Franklin managed to snag a conveniently Left Behind vehicle and drive onto the ship's loading ramp just in the nick of time and yeah everyone else on the ship just go ahead and ignore that truck full of people who just crashed into the hangar oh yeah good call Claire I'm sure a hat will help distract them from that action stone in reality the people on the ship are too distracted to notice them because they're watching what may be the saddest moment in the entire jurassic franchise I can poke fun at this movie all damn day but fuck if I don't tear up every time at this shot of a Brachiosaurus being overcome by smoke and fire and to make these even more depressing this poor Donna so was confirmed to be the same one dr. Grant and Co saw when they first arrived at Jurassic Park oh poor baby with that the ship leaves the island and the movie prepares to be something totally different for its entire second half back at Lockwood's estate John Hammonds BFF who everyone has known about forever has a little chat with his granddaughter Maisie who according to her nanny iris is a silly sausage city sausage this frivolous frankfurter lives with her grand papa because her mother his daughter was killed in an accident Maisy is quite the spunky walk after walking in on Eli while he's on the phone with Wheatley confirming that he's a bad guy for anyone who's never seen a movie before she spies on him as he meets with another evil cohort this cohort is an auctioneer named Gunnar Eversole and he's played by Toby Jones last seen on the kill count getting torn in half by an elder Age horror in some fog the two of them have a generic evil rich guy combo 4 million is a slow Tuesday where I'm from before heading into the mansion sub-basement where Eli shows nefarious billy quizboy that they've created another new dinosaur we call it the endo rancher the endo Raptor is a combination of Raptor and the indominus rex whose DNA they have from that rib stolen in the cold open Maisie tries to tell her grandpapa that Eli's an evil bastard but he just dismisses her that'll do girl that'll do she takes it upon herself to sneak down into the sub-basement slab where she watches a video of grainy training blue and holy shit man just when you thought this dinosaur couldn't get any cuter we watched as baby blue nozzles up to Grady's cheat oh my god mazes binge watching is interrupted when Eli shows up with another secondary antagonist friggin Henry Wu back to be a bastard again he tells you that the endo Raptor is just like the word fuck ur mother and without a proper Dino mommy that mother fuckin endo Raptor ain't about to be all nice and snuggly like blue Maisie retreats down a hallway to hide from the bad men and all their scheming and she backs up straight into the Indo Raptor itself who's clawing at her like a monster from behind the bars of its cage she runs away from the Indo Raptor right into Eli's evil arms so he takes her upstairs and locks her in her room back on the mercenaries bo Grady Claire and Franklin find Zia attending two Blue's Blue's gonna need a blood transfusion because her bullet wound is getting pretty nasty oh my god is it my house sure to get blood for the operation Claire and Grady break into the conveniently unguarded t-rex truck where the Beast is thankfully trained up like a pirate captain with a dart addiction again the fact that this is a puppet most of the time is awesome it lends so much more realism to the scene and the hijinks that our heroes have to go through eventually they get that Rexy blood and even after the t-rex awakens and scream so loud the entire ship should be friggin death Grady and Claire are still able to get away from it without anyone else on the ship noticing oh and fun fact Chris Pratt did his own stunts jumping out of the truck there which I thought was pretty cool the blood transfusion works for Xia's operation and she successfully removes the bullet and all they cost them was a singles here from blue the boat docks and our heroes all get split up a mercenary dude recruits Franklin as a rope boy Grady and Claire hop in a truck and pretend like it's their job even though like wouldn't that truck already have a driver assigned to it and Zia stays with blue while she gets heckled by Wheatley there's two yeah it's kind of weird hearing Donald Trump referenced in a Jurassic movie but I guess Ted Levine ad lib the line and Bayona kept it in i don't however know the story behind the news crawl in the beginning that cast aspersions on the intelligence of this movie's in-universe president as gradient clare drive with a caravan into the Lockwood estate they get noticed by a guard who was that fucking star-lord and so Wheatley shows up with a gun to Grady's head and in no time at all they're putting Donal jail by now Lockwood has discovered Eli's evil plots and you know kind of hard to keep a giant operation like this quiet when it's in the basement of your home but when he tries to make eli call the police and turn himself in perv what exactly I don't know Eli instead takes a pillow and suffocates Lockwood to death off screen what damn dude the same one flew Maisie watches from her balcony he has a bunch of rich people pull up to the mansion in all black cars looking kinda like that scene and get out o Shanter these billionaires about to put their brains inside of dinosaurs ever saw greets all of them in their various languages while Maisie runs around up on the rooftop step in time after she crawls into her granddad's room she finds out that he's dead but she's able to hide inside the dumbwaiter and escapee eyes detection when he comes back to fake discovered the body he and Eversole get the dinosaur action going for their audience of millionaires and billionaires most of them there by dinos as war machines take the in Kyllo Soros for instance things literally attacked all right now let's see here a new fighter jet cost the u.s. about 90 mil apiece so a dinosaur has got to be like what twice three times that amount I have four million dollars anyone five what anyone with five yea dude how about a recurring guest actor on a network sitcom ten million dollars bunch what sholde did they write this script using 1990s inflation I'm not impressed by your evil auction if a dinosaur could be purchased by fucking Andy Samberg down down in Dino jail Grady realizes that their next cell neighbor is a Stiggy Malo a Pachycephalosaurus with a mighty useful bond oh he whistles to get its attention so we can charge the wall between them with ramming speed all while the auction continues with the cheesiest fucking shot in this series literal dollar amounts increasing in the reflection of the rich bad guys glasses Wow stinky finally breaks through the wall and they're gonna need one big-ass Rita Hayworth poster if they're gonna cover that up but instead of hiding anything Grady just gets the Stiggy to bust them out completely Grady and Claire find mazey who upon seeing them runs away down that hallway that has the wait what the dumbwaiter what the fuck we just watched to see an earlier where that exact same hallway ended at the Indo Raptors Dino sound what is this House of Leaves shit the adults introduce themselves and ask stupid questions you like dinosaurs what kind of kid don't like Donna so is Grady come on immediately the adults hatch a plan to kidnap this random kid on their way out we could use a friend too that sounded kinda creepy there Claire with a couple of shots right out of the start of a Britney Spears music video the endo Raptor is finally brought out for all of us to see shocking the auction audience with how scary and evil it is without any hesitation the nameless Russian bad guy bets on it 22 million although the Indo Raptor was meant to be a prototype not for sale ever saw gets the go-ahead from Eli and starts auctioning it off do I hear 26 what I hear a slow-ass auctioneer where's the fun auction babble and for that matter get yourself a cowboy hat dude right after the endo Raptor gets sold Grady conveniently finds Diggy pop and sticks him on an elevator that opens on the auction floor eggy eggy runs amok and tosses people through the air like it's a frickin car too but I'm not gonna count anyone here as dead they're probably just pretty bruised speaking of which Grady's being a real bruiser here and fighting all the evil mercs like he's in a freakin side-scroller it's actually a pretty cool shot for once I'm gonna call him a badass on ironically the mayhem queers out the auction sending rich bastards and trucks full of purchased dinosaurs fleeing from Lockwood estate Wheatley walks into the empty room and after seeing the endo Raptor gets a major poaching boner he drinks the Dino down and enters the cage of the great big trout daughter sole so he can steal one of its teeth remember we saw him do that once so he just has to do it now it's not just an excuse for him to die I'm being sarcastic that's exactly what it is before he's killed though the endo Raptor has to act like bugs fucking bunny by pretending to be asleep ah Anaya stinka when it wakes up in a tax wheatley we do get a halfway decent kill for once since the Indo Raptor tears off Wheatley's arm like he's an off-screen Sam Jackson and eats it right in front of it before sniffing in his face and finally digging in for a full meal of Wheatley Penn's Eversole C's Wheatley's death and tries to run past the cage to escape into the elevator impeding on three others who are in there hiding the doors close right as the endo Raptor charges at BAM but after its tail hits the switch and opens the door again it finds four delicious humans inside just ready to be killed the scene cuts away after the endo Raptor roars and ebersol's face but let's be real all four of those people are dead push out Eli finds Grady Claire and Maisie and we get this stupidest and most unnecessary plot twist they could ever have come up with Lockwood never had a grandchild he just wanted his daughter back you heard that right after his daughter died Lockwood made a clone of her and that's what Maisie is she's a clone like the dynasound speaking of which hey ham that dinosaur got a twofer right there I think they call that the Dino dudes anyway the rest of you better scram Evil Henry was trying to get all the bass sets out of this madhouse but while he's busy yelling at Zia who's handcuffed of Blues cage Franklin sticks him in the neck with some drugs and knocks the doctor out a couple of mercenaries show up before Zia and Franklin can escape and one of them drags Henry rule away so he can be in the third Jurassic world in another unnecessary role as for the Merc who stays behind Ziya opens Blues cage and he of course gets mauled and killed as does another dude who shows up and try shooting at Blu only to get dragged away by the Dino and have his net fit into his gunshots punctured some gas tanks but Blues a smart little theropod and gets out of there before the whole thing explodes unfortunately the explosion breached the giant tank of poison gas that every good millionaire keeps in the basement of their mansion you're just not really rich until you have tanks of poisonous gas laying around we did another kill for the count after Grady Claire and Maisie come across a mercenary lying on the ground in the main room of the mansion our heroes hide as the endo Raptor begins to search for them and somehow they're able to avoid its detection even though it has Raptor DNA in it and as Claire pointed out earlier when she was talking about Blu she can pick up your scent a mile off you'll never capture her yep a mile off unless you're behind a closet door then you're good it's even stupider when they come across the lighting control system and shut off all the lights in the room actually like that's gonna do anything isn't this thing half and ominous Rex you know the dinosaur that could see an infrared which was a giant part of the last movie did you see us they said consensus thermal radiation like snakes damn fallen Kingdom just do like one more draft on your script Franklin and Zia discovered that the poison gas is spreading to the dinosaurs still in captivity so he hacks into the mansion's infrastructure to reboot the lights and the HVAC system and he must have said the magic words because he gets it going and turns on the lights allowing the indo raptor to finally see its prey come on Lucy could have found those people in the dark what kind of designer predator is this thing Maisie gets away from the destruction but the end Oh Raptor chases after her going all-out slasher killer as it follows her up the stairs and down a long hallway luckily if she's able to hop into the dumbwaiter and close the Dino proofed dumbwaiter door that somehow protects her against the world's top predator yeah okay Grady and Claire share a smooch and then he's off to go save Maisie sliding into a gun pick up because you know badass Maisie knows that the best place to hide for monsters is underneath the covers so that's where she goes as the endo rafters how winds up on the roof of the mansion you know I thought you said this Raptor was in doubt seemed like out dog there's an admittedly cool shot of it roaring in front of the moon but dude you're outside now you're free go fuck shit up why the hell is this dinosaur so hell-bent on hunting down this one individual little girl creeping into a room like a bogeyman asuras and casting Nosferatu s shadows all over the place it reaches that scary claw towards Maisie and is all ready to kill her when Grady comes in and shoots it a few times temporarily subduing it but with the rifle out of ammo Grady's backed against the wall until his homegirl blue comes to the rescue when leaps into action for an out-and-out Donald I as their bedroom brawl continues Grady and Maisy make it outside and climb around occasionally getting disrupted by the dinos and stunts that involved Mazie stunt performer Rochelle Bernard and in one of my favorite fun facts Rochelle Bernard also played Poe in the Teletubbies reboot fucking love it the endo Raptor follows them onto a big glass roof of the mansion but blues not done with you yet your genetic abomination and together the two dinosaurs end up crashing through the glass below that in an awesome shot the endo Raptor spins as it falls and blue winds up on top as the designer Dino gets impaled upon the horns of a sarah tops it's called blue survives the fall but the endo Raptor is dead too bad I don't count dinosaurs on the cop wobb wobb all the survivors reconvene downstairs where the leaking poison gas is just now seeping into the dinosaur cellblock Claire opens the dinosaur pad on letting them all out of their individual cells but pauses before opening the door to the outside since it would mean letting all of them out into the open but wait a minute why didn't you leave the dinos in their cells and just open the outer doors first that would vent the place out believe the dinos locked up seriously Jurassic world just like one more pass before you start production next time please Claire decides against unleashing all the dinosaurs and is instead content to let them get poisoned to death right in front of her eyes but as they start watching this Dino cruelty go down The Doors suddenly open up what one Watts I had their life like me that's okay whoo this will be really lost in the final act huh but yes thanks to the unnecessary clone girl the dinosaurs are now free which means Eli about to have a bad day before he can make his bad guy get away the first creature out is a Pteranodon who picks up one of Eliza associates and drops him under the hood of a vehicle i'ma put him on the count as well as this other dude who apparently got crushed by the stampede of escaping dinosaurs they seem pretty freakin dead to me Eli narrowly avoids getting crushed by hiding beneath a van but I guess he lost his peripheral vision while he was down there because that's the only way to explain how he doesn't see the t-rex coming out of nowhere to snatch him up seriously imagine if the camera were zoomed out from this shot there's no way he wouldn't have seen that t-rex at least his ultimate death is pretty cool and a callback to Eddy cars since the t-rex and voluntarily splits his meal with the Carnotaurus eager to get some extra screen time and hey might as well give us another t-rex roar yeah you know what we're here for the t-rex crushes the indominus rex is DNA and runs out into the open world which yeah that's not good Grady Claire and the others come outside and run into blue Grady tells the Raptor that he can adopt her and take her to a safe place the Blues like nah man I ain't about that cage life piece motherfucker oh don't worry Grady you may have missed out on a pet but now you and your ex-girlfriend have a random clone kid that you'll have to raise wait is that a happy ending a quick little day new mall features a voiceover by dr. Malcolm apparently continuing that testimony from the beginning as we see that there are dinosaurs and Dino DNA spreading out all over the globe welcome to Jurassic world it wasn't the last movie already called dress you know Hut never mind let's just wrap this up looks like Claire and Grady have indeed adopted that little clone girl they just met and that's the most asaurus from the beginning is out and about getting itself a little surfer snack and a shot we had spoiled from the trailer know the kill isn't definitive or on-screen but I don't think that guy would be able to get away the movie ends with a check-in on our two favorite dinosaurs first we see the t-rex at a zoo roaring at the king of the jungle and finally we see blue on a cliff yelping at a desert suburb this was by far our longest cocon episode yet did it give us the most kills let's find out and get to the numbers that sound good to you buddy yeah man that sounds pretty great awesome dude and hey you were actually in this movie yeah I know jakers by my count 19 humans died in Jurassic world fallen Kingdom and since this was a drastic movie nearly all of them were dudes with only a single lady victim that one killed in the elevator off screen by the Indo Raptor hey it's still one more lady victim than all of J peas 1 through 3 with a long time of 128 minutes we wound up with a kill on average every six point seven four minutes I'll give the golden chainsaw four coolest kill - Eli mills yeah it's pretty similar to Eddie cars kill from the lost world but that one got the golden chain saw - because it's fucking awesome besides I don't want to give it to Wheatley because of all that Bugs Bunny bullshit - almost ready for lamest kill will go to Lockwood who has snuffed out with a pillow off-screen while this amber Cain topper smashed to the ground in some overzealous symbolism and finally don't forget these movies get a diamond Dino for Kulas Donna sell sequins and in this movie I'll give it to the cold open from when the t-rex starts chasing down the technician dude all the way up to his eventual death at the hands nerve jaws of mozi the Mosasaurus I love the dark and stormy setting the lightning flashes that reveal Rexy the tug of war sequence with the ladder if the rest of the movie had been more like this cold open we would have had one amazing Dino horror movie on our hands and that's it Jurassic world the fallen kingdom came out in 2018 and became another billion dollar movie and now sits as the twelfth highest-grossing film of all time damn the final Jurassic world movie won't come out until 2021 but until then I'm James a Jenice this has been the kill Kyle thanks a lot for watching the surprise kill K I want to keep thinking patrons who have been with me for over a year Victoria Kannada Todd Windish Zack a Okarche easterly Shaun Harrington Jax s and Ethan Daniels I can't believe how much my opinion of this movie changed while making the kill count for I'm even cautiously excited for the last drastic world just baby gave Jeff Goldblum more than a couple of lines be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 6,548,627

Rating: 4.8828969 out of 5

Keywords: ted levine, mansion, jaj, island, sequel, pine commander boogie, rafe spall, films, series, kill count, blockbuster, james cromwell, toby jones, jeff goldblum, dinosaur, james a. janisse, chris pratt, colin trevorrow, indo, dinosaurs, indoraptor, jurassic world, dead meat, franchise, justice smith, horror, j.a. bayona, jurassic park, body count, movies, steven spielberg, DMKC, bd wong, daniella pineda, bryce dallas howard, kills, t rex, scary, raptor

Id: mx3UCOaveJs

Length: 29min 52sec (1792 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 18 2018