Jonathan Winters, Robin Williams, & Sam Kinison

we have another 11 year old with us tonight johnny winters jonathan winters has probably had uh as much influence on other comedians as anybody i know but nobody can be johnny winners he is unique uh there's a movie coming out called moon over peridot with richard dreyfuss coming out in august and here's a book out called winter's tales stories and observations for the unusual no kidding would you welcome jonathan winters [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh my goodness i was certainly taken with a little girl i really was i you know i had 11. of course i was still doing this if i give you oh they were saying that if i give you four apples and three more how many do you have too many for my lunchbox at 11. not funny not funny to the teacher no and this kid is in college this kid is in college boy it must be of course she's doing a smart thing from my standpoint she's dating a 19 year old because that guy is probably very sophisticated and no type hi honey how are you here's another copy of mice and men i don't know were you any good i was kidding i was kidding what were you like in school what was that like you disrupted were you no i wasn't i most people would think you're crazy i know that well they do today yes uh but years ago i was a very normal child too normal probably i was making any money no my parents were divorced i won't go into a long thing in difference to they're gone anyway but uh the thing was that uh dad was off you know somewhere in an open field or you know settling insurance policies near a creek bank and so i i just didn't know about him where he was it was always explained he's away everybody in our family was away a lot where's uncle uh you know aunt emma she's away dear he never knew well well i knew that eventually as i went by one of the institutions all right uh but at any rate uh mom mom did her best and she tried but i i struggled because you know when people say it so as you asked the little girl which was interesting he said what are for some of your favorite subjects and what are you excelling when you're 11 in college of course you excel in everything yeah um i just i was blown in all departments math was not my best yeah i really i got as far as geometry and uh i thought that was just i mean having been tutored in literally everything from the apples to algebra a square plus b square and she didn't remember that oh please yes but because i remember the students going up and finishing and i was always like this you know i knew when she was it's interesting i really taken by her philosophy some of those words um when it was always uh john winters uh uh problem number six and i was uh but you become an actor it's interesting i i i was calling on you know failures then i mean mind failures uh arthritis in both feet uh so i'd say i can't walk sir i can't walk to the board maybe if you bring the board to me [Music] get up surely but uh i like the multiple choice stuff because you had a shot at it you know where did you go to school you could take a guess did you have multiple choice sure i told you dr ninler you cheated me we didn't get the multiple choice god bless you yes the essays were the worst the movies well now you're talking about college for the blue book i was in college just about an hour first of all they paddled me and i wasn't used to that it came out three years in the marines and a guy said assume the angle and i said what angle are we talking about go back to geometry again so uh i grabbed the ankles how many times great you know and those days were really in shape had the 32 waist and we didn't have steroids in those days we picked each other up if you could find an attractive man you know it's well built oh yeah without going too far building ah the arms automatically grow um no the guy spanked me or paddled me and and i had to repeat all the chapters and apparently a lot of chapters in the deke and that was it huh well that was it for him yeah uh i just forgot of course you were in the marines yeah i just well the three three years i i really i don't know where i was i didn't know where i was a lot because we weren't told and uh many of the time you know people say where were i was i knew we were in the pacific you were in the marine corps you were became a general no don't really that's as good as the general all right let's be very proud of that thank you did you strafe a lot of workers in the field uh what guy's at el [Music] toronto whatever the aba is going [Applause] my seat just went down hey you missed it hey how about this no no god i thought we were canceled i thought it was all over the seat just went well you may be dating the little girl what the hell fix [Applause] nbc is cruel the way they tell you to just the seat goes down they move somebody in i thought the little girl was gonna run in hey he's my size now i uh i haven't seen you bro you are you do you take a vacation on what you call a vacation vacation go shopping i've been on so many uh i uh as a matter of fact and i'm not making this up you know some stuff i have to i mean if you return home late at night you better have a story um so at any rate i'm going fishing in two weeks uh with a companion and uh oh no wonderful guy and uh i wanted to take a girl but i'm married um so i found this guy that you know uh fingers are going on with anybody uh we're going up to we're gonna fly from here lax to minneapolis and then minneapolis to international falls and into bemidji a little place that's where the river mississippi river yeah interesting piece of history a little girl might be interested in this it's only about that wide so anybody can step over the mississippi right at bemidji um there are fish there you have to take dynamite to get anything but uh then we go into canada and do a lot of this you know and oh geez that sounds like fun it should be camping out and cooking and all that stuff well it's it's fun if you don't get bitten by a snake i got bitten one year and uh i don't want to get into where i was bitten but it stopped fishing right away but at any rate it would say it was it it's just fun to get outdoors every time john comes on we kind of give him a little exercise here since you do so many characters to talk about traveling i'm going to give you a couple of names of say tourists from other countries who are coming over to america on vacation and you just give me your impressions or why they came here or wherever it flows all right um british agent leslie sits puffin actually it's it's spitz puffins i'm sorry yeah it's mispronounced it was with the when i was first a young agent and obviously still being mispronounced that's perfectly understandable perfectly all right i've never been in all my travels i was in the british army uh and as a youth i wasn't with any army i was just mainly at home in in devon uh when i when i uh jumped out of school i went uh directly to africa and then we engaged the italians there and and uh and landed germans too and i was in the bloody war for some time then then their time took its toll and i went to india and raised snakes and uh and then now and now i want to go to america and i i my chief reason for going there's so many reasons i mean you think of 50 states my god in heaven that's tremendous amount of people in a vast country i can only think of china and russia being as big or africa america is right in there just enormous and so much going on you know color tv and automobiles on the highways and pretty girls doing things and so i uh i want to go and see a baseball game any man that makes a couple of million pounds with a mitten in the middle of summer catching a silly white ball and hitting something with a stick i won't see it yes well if i don't see it i suppose i'll go directly to apartment and put my head in there in air conditioning all right thank you thank you [Applause] um you know foo in uh in french means crazy i didn't know that oh yes i am very aware of that transform decreases your password your food trust very crazy you know when it's translated into english at any rate but i my reason for coming to america like the other man i uh i was uh i was never in a war it was unfortunate i couldn't go i had a double murmur in the mind or something and my decollete which is mind murmuring and uh the eyes roll around and you can't concentrate on the artillery so uh i passed on that and had just a series of affairs the songshare but i'm going to america because i've always wanted to go to hollywood hollywood oh yes i've been married you know six or seven times you know oh yes and uh i'd like to try one more you know maybe go to anaheim for a honeymoon and um whatever you know i but i have seen so many beautiful women you know they're not only in paris or bordeaux or monaco or uh you know algiers or whatever italy there are a number of them you know right in hollywood the young girls who are 25 uh 30 35 right now i would settle for a woman about 48. a good woman who just said what do you super little dude i know a woman down the street where i live is like that she carries a ghetto blaster you know as well totally nice as you're here now [Applause] alice talked to a tourist from germany hans beldenhopper yes that's exactly right well done good thinking anne spelled obviously i'm german you know and uh a lot of people during the the engagement i was in uh thought i was touch i started out with the edom cheese as a child and uh we captured a guy by a windmill when father and i were visiting amsterdam um my main reason for coming to america is to visit the cemeteries uh cemeteries i love battlefields i should have said battlefields same thing you know if you die there with a cannon or you just whatever you know but i want to also see my dream and i'm originally from well originally from bavaria you know what ah yeah i recognized her [Music] freudland stickler well i thought you'd raise your hand sooner or later used to be in that letter code in paraguay it gave you away anyway uh i i really looking forward to to seeing detroit detroit oh yeah any major city with all those incredible marvelous people and those guys that sit down at the drawing boards and make the cars they goofed and i want to see why detroit made a mistake yes yeah fellas other than that you know a couple of steins a little beer frozen yeah chief you hit that a good lake thank you hon you actually went to uh to paraguay to make this movie well no we went to brazil brazil excuse me went to brazil um a year ago moon over paris moon over peridot it won't be out i i wish we had anything a still we have nothing uh one of the rare times you and the actor sits there and starts to talk about a movie we have nothing for you to see oh you'll just have to wait like me show there crash um we went down a year ago uh august or september first trip well i've been down to columbia i shouldn't drop heavy names but oh good colombians are a little bit of everything here tonight two hands here one lady from germany incredible uh i went down to uh columbia years ago and i've been in uh uh let's see um well peru which i really loved i oh two from peru you rascal here's something else throw a light on that person you know they're from encino [Music] at any rate um i love peru much much but we in brazil we had a marvelous time uh uh richard dreyfuss who's a fantastic actor and one of the hottest properties around uh uh did a great job uh along with raul julia who was um uh he just uh finished that series on onassis where he yeah he played aristotle and he's an exciting actor uh along with sammy davis jr uh a wonderful guy and and a guy that's been around since he was before the little eleven-year-old uh who was a great guy and a lot of fun to be with did you speak the language at all did i speak the word did you just make it up i can speak spanish uh if you put something to the head and uh that's uh quite long and black then uh chances are we'll talk about the tires and the in cochina you know you got to do it you got to throw a lot of things around very fast dysfunctional you know the guy will say hopefully the guy from paraguay or from brazil there are portuguese in brazil yeah marvelous country uh i took a lot of pills and they didn't work um i for food and other reasons and i was just up all night watching portuguese television that and just sort of oh um and then of course in my lap i had some mostly times when you do go to the commode the bathroom whatever they want to call the battle yeah now you're talking about something else with the banjo because i saw a big pair of adidas you know so at any rate uh but i we had a great time paul mazurkski was the guy that director is a fantastic guy a really a funny funny man and i it comes out august 5th which i realize yeah this is may how fast we are um look when he comes out come back and bring a film clip got to come back before that johnny i need the money uh i'm gonna tell you johnny don't worry about the tanker i'm not [Applause] [Music] i'm sorry i'm sorry i just i was sleeping the next thing got a little honor but it's finished in the portal well lick my face and boom sure no i'm on cruise ship you were not on you were not the best one you were not at the helm then no i wasn't at the helm i uh i probably should have been you know but now i'm on a cruise ship and i'm a good time being a full-time womanizer but uh good to see you again hey good to see you so i had no idea what you were gonna do before you walked out here i didn't either i saw that poor devil go in the water and uh boy that's you know and he's a big guy he's not uh he's like i am a better looking man i think you're a fine looking man i think and you're an attractive man [Music] well we certainly covered that what's your new inner bar let's don't let this slip into something sort of wait till i take you home to mother she's going to love her you know when you came out with it i don't reminded my navy days because normally a flag officer you don't have that the scrambled eggs on the hat i bought this uh where i buy a lot of hats uh an antique shop uh an antique show i think it was a show uh here in california and it's the cunard line and uh i guess they're are they still operative i'm not sure as far as i know i usually go down to long beach on a saturday afternoon and see what's happening you know whether they're going in or coming out or whatever uh and of course if a guy does fall then i grab his hat but uh it's kind of fun i uh you were not a sailor before no no i i was army man i wouldn't realize the marine marine marine yeah that's right [Applause] huh semper fi always uh always uh faithful isn't it always faithful yeah always ready i don't know piranhas was the other that's coast guard yeah they were right there what's the boy scouts boy scouts yeah i think boy scouts is uh is pretty much this yeah oh and when they get older it's still that three fingers you know let's do it um were you a real boy scout at all no i was not a boy scout i wanted to be my mother was uh i i went to her at that time uh i was a little old too i i thought i'd be a shoe and i was almost 16 last year yeah a little old and i thought that's reason i'd stand a better chance so i went to her and i said i'd like to be an eagle scout and she said well you just don't walk in as an eagle you have to be a cub you're too old to be a cub married badges yeah merit badges and uh i said well at least i'd like to be a boy scout and she said well do you have money for a uniform and of course i never had money for anything except a knife uh that i had in my boots i had a high top so i always had that and i for many i still carry it you know when i'm driving now i'll be driving after the show and i have a good sized rascal you know put that in you know so when somebody sticks their finger up in the air or something and says something unattractive or sideswipes me i always say hey how you doing man how you doing good a little bit of violence you know so you never became a boy scout no i never became a boy scout uh i just there were so many areas that i failed well we talked a little bit about you're from the midwest uh ohio and i'm from midwest which is considered you know right now they come in about this time of the year spring springs back there remember girls what'd you do with the girls when you were yeah i think i remember girls in the winter too of course i didn't mean that you i was looking forward to spring and uh but no i well i i was a kid again i had a lot of chores plus the fact that i remember sunday school i was i was asked constantly stop thinking about it oh and uh that was a sin well i guess it was a sin yeah and uh i've always said you know god is in my mind and the devil's in my pants [Music] [Applause] at any rate i i was i was a kid i wasn't you know i wasn't a letch i wasn't a horny kid i was just kind of always oh once you open the eyes then you're considered bad news you know hi betty gene and they were always named somebody like betty g always better oh yeah and it was always no no no what's this what is this no no no you know all right then try a smaller size will you respect me tomorrow remember those will you race you don't respect me one thing i i did i made a terrible terrible move i've only done this once in my life yeah of course i've been married so long now always just behind me uh why is it behind me uh anyway one time in high school i was getting ready to go away anyway and um this wonderful gal she really a beautiful gal her dad was a cop i i'd give her a name out but i'm sure he's still alive and uh cops have a way of living longer than anybody really unless of course you know it's a shootout but uh even when he had white hair was right you know your hand on my daughter and then he pumped that raspberry so i never laid a hand on her um however spots do go through your mind uh once you're out of town and uh we were going to a drive-in theater and um it was about uh drive-ins yeah no more yeah but hey listen boy that's those are fun pads you know and so i had this little fun car with a stick shift you know i might say sticks if that was down on the floor yeah and they were awkward too of course you know moving those things and bending them a lot so at any rate i uh i turned to this girl and we drove we would sing the movie pull a track both attractions a double header double feature and we pulled out and we were about uh oh a mile away from the drive-in there's day view driving always remember that and i turned to her and i said polly i'd stop the car and i said uh i'm crazy about you and i i love you and i i know you've dated a lot of guys which she had about 56 guys she'd been through baseball teams wow football anyway a lovely girl maintained her figure and um so i said to her just give me a big kiss typical of a kid you know a young boy and i said give me a big kiss i really need that if nothing else and then i said something else because i became excited and i said if you don't get out and take a walk and she got out and uh i felt sorry for it was quite chilly and uh we're at least eight miles from town you know take a walk it's very crude and i can understand where women and young girls especially uh hate young men for saying something like that you know come on i want something yeah so i said i apologize and she cold cocked me broke my jaw in four places oh boy i went home right here you never forget strong woman yes thing about uh growing up in the midwest did you have a relatively happy childhood i had an unusual child it was always are you here again what is it what is it now well i just came in for some love all right we're gonna live sorry i brought she has a little affection but i must say i i was an only child and i i i'm getting very close now to where i'm i'm almost stopping complaining about my childhood entirely which is very tough uh but uh the thing is it's true i mean you know if you're making a good living and you got a family and your wife and a house it's very close to being paid for uh just about like things aren't so bad things aren't too bad i got a car you know and a wild beast in the yard we don't know what it is but it's where did you pass away and we've got it on a track you know instead but what we have done we took a taxidermist did something a little bizarre no animal lovers and i love animals i don't like that i know that i love animals but when when uh uh scrubbles uh hot scrabble scrubbles i don't know yeah our neighbor named it he's an alcoholic but so we took a bicycle player uh the the reflectors and put that in the animal's eyes boy when you see that rascal coming down your bizarre sense of humor but from somewhere in your family um your mother father or grandfather i mean my mother had a great success very very funny lady yeah and uh very very tough uh very she was in show business she was in a small radio station but funny but funny yeah it's funny she said something to me which uh has carried through my life and it's a little something i'd like to pass along to you perhaps if you're you know just drop readers digest there in the pullman car number 38. um my mother turned to me one time and she said uh maybe i've mentioned this on the air before and if i have why raise your hands uh but she said would you like to be an intellectual and i always wanted to be because i was very slow i was labeled dumb in number classes so coming out of the war and everything i thought geez it would be fun to be an intellectual you know at least to take a crack at it and she said always read the end of every book forget about the beginning forget about the middle read the end and remember to move constantly among the hors d'oeuvres and a little patter that's going on a cocktail party so that somebody come up oh uh hi uh john did you read um did you read the uh the uh the lavender beaver uh wasn't that in it interesting thing about a man escape to minsk and uh uh oh yes i did read that fascinating book and of course the star he was stabbed 16 times in the forehead and then fell forward on a used paper i think it was new york times and uh fascinating excuse me i want to get some more dirt just throw on the last finish of the book and move on and move on yeah so she helped me with that my grandfather was guy kind of guy he was funny yeah uh he uh he'd been a banker and he said bankers are not funny they're wealthy but they have they have no sense of humor uh and he said tellers you know are like this and uh and they're really like that of course if somebody does this uh but uh he he was funny and he said um he said just think and he he loved show business yeah he never got into it but he said the great thing about show business is you can be anybody you want to be i mean of course that's not true we know that john there are a lot of things i want to be the thing is it's important to know where you're playing all the world is not a stage it might have been when willie was alive you know uh but if you start playing out here about three blocks away class hadn't ease or chatted wherever it is and directing traffic and okay bob all right uh there's a flying saucer coming in mr winters and you you used to do those kind of things didn't oh yes all the world was a stage all the world was the stage also all the men were in heavy white with a red cross on their arms [Music] don't do that no more god it just seemed months after how are we doing today what do you mean how are we doing i want to get out of here man well you will when you get well i'm well now if you tell i'm well i feel great [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i was very close to getting part of sean connery in hunt for red november or october who cares i didn't get part by plug picture yeah i am happy to be here my form of my government and everything they're disappearing anyway things are changing very rapidly a big one alexa ah oh thank you very much no not good for you let me fill your hand again when you lift any chest of money good for your hand no i was up for picture and i i love connery yes good man you know men who come you know out from nowhere with scotch accent and then pick up on russian and exciting you would like to have that part huh i wanted it yes [Music] i have no money for medication [Applause] good to see you again well now what brought this on tonight i never know what you're going to do when you walk out there i didn't know either and consequently it you know this coat yes i bought this coat in an antique shop i'm not gonna give the guy credit because he didn't give me the coat yeah this looks like something somebody would have worn in the world this was yeah i this was worn by a submarine commander not on our side yeah and uh when you feel the thing and when you wear it and hold it and i'll give it to you in a few minutes yes perhaps after the show yes to where uh it's quite heavy so i'm sure he couldn't lift the you know the periscope and probably if they did have problems with the submarine he couldn't get off because this would coat a lawn sync with the coat torpedoes underwater [Laughter] all right take it then you know as far as they could yeah and then they wait in all summer always wait for the guys on the rock yeah of course it's a paper mache rock but then you heard and then you hear that little yeah you don't know look that's right and then this is more of a no it's more of a um [Laughter] we have to cut away already we'll come back and talk to the commander charge yes i always thought it was more about when you when you uh and pictures what do you like to play best you've done some successful movies i would i really i guess it's in all of us you know we're all a little disturbed i hope um i would like to play a serious role and i think are you talking like hamlet you mean oh please not shakespeare oh no no no because uh i i i shouldn't say this but i will um i couldn't memorize that stuff you see i can't get it together when a guy says simple things you know they tell you just let us see in general moments silence cast upon this moat unbeknownst to this man well what it means is the guy can't see the castle hey i don't know what they're doing this night to be yeah i know what you're saying so you've been changing shakespeare's out i would i like to play a heavy you know whether a guy uh kills another guy or um tries to or would you be good at that i mean oh yeah all right i think so just getting rid of all those urges over the years sure just playing with the gun you know just they make them good over there well there he comes now now plenty of time for a cigarette hey this is the real stuff oh well oh there he is hmm gotta do it this time remember what destruction is saying man hell of a kick to that right we'll be good at that yeah [Applause] [Music] what did you do did you have any crazy odd jobs but when you were back in ohio that you did before you before you got into uh that man released him yes that's right why uh yeah anything i don't know sell shoes um no i didn't sell shoes i uh i put them in boxes they they didn't trust me to put them on the person's foot uh they just the man said he had a very thin mistake which is always you know you wonder about this clerk you mean you're right all i did was stack them and uh bring them out the guy did this and of course those days you had to go for the fingers uh hey hey bring them out winters yes sir you said a 12c no no no eight and a half seat looks like a 12. now he not only loses the sail yeah the guy's teed off yeah i don't wear that your dummy so uh i bring out snowshoes you know things like that bring out a ruler try this hey this is on the store um so you tried clerking for a while i never worked too long at any one job um i was a gasoline attendant oh don't applaud that's very sad yeah um just didn't care for it i well i wasn't the question of caring for it i always worked for the wrong guy yeah uh i think a lot of people that can identify with that i i remember when i was just a kid i was in a marketplace and everybody was from uh a foreign country everybody except there was one guy locally and of course he didn't fit in uh so he was asked to keep his stall outside the main market um but any if i test it if i i remember there was a big huge man and and his wife was just as large and i said mr bonazzo could i could i touch the orange you're not touching the orange you touch of the orange i'd take your head and turn it around and uh foolishly i said did you do that in the old country and he did it in the old country but uh so that didn't last long either we all have different reasons for coming to america but um a freedom to turn a guy's head around you know did you ever check into your genealogy that everyone treat you please [Laughter] your ancestors my heraldry um well uh on my mother's side they were um as far as i know uh they were scotch-irish and this is the reason for uh almost instant alcoholism but uh [Music] on my uh i was fooled because my mother handled it very well until the end and then she just crawled into an open area and lay down you know uh this is a typical spring day bye-bye consequently the term a dirt napkin i didn't mean to bring up unpleasant things here oh no not a wonderful way to go i'm gonna give you two jobs a lot of things all of us did you know a lot of jobs and of course hey toward the end i may be going back to night work um you know sorting out shovels for those in the cemeteries or whatever um i remember i when i came out of the war my mother said not only finish high school and of course hey i had to quit high school because well i wanted to quit high school and i was failing geometry and um also the girl that i was in love with um i turned out was dating the football team and um so not just the quarterbacks you're talking about that threw me out yeah you know i want to get away and so um at any rate i came home and my mother said you got to get a job right away and i said gosh it's a town now 68 000 people and almost everybody has a job or is going to get one and i said what could i do so i went to a ball place i went to coca-cola bodily and i pictured myself on the truck or as a helper sure the guy said now we're off to this and why i didn't last long you come here and i said yes sir i've been hearing this for three years in the marines you know i didn't need another hey you come here and incidentally i was in shape none of this gut stuff man my shoulders were much bigger didn't have steroids i was just taking natural distilled water couldn't wait to strangle the dude you know so uh little did he know inside his volcanic tissues you know so anyway i'm calming myself down now and he said hey you come here that's right he said you yeah you're to be a bottle washer i said how degrading for a corporal i and i i made the mistake the man was you know first lieutenant and uh in a warehouse so he said corporal well i hit him with an empty bottle he laughed at me you see that could have been your problem of course it was but he'd had a bad fall off one of the trucks and he came to me and of course he was limping and he said uh i'd like to see that you know turn this thing around for you winners and make you an inspector i said oh kind of lit up you know when you hear that word important inspector wow now i had the little thing coca-cola and my name here winners misspelled but that's okay i said okay and they put the stool down for me big neon sign looking for dead mice and marbles and you go boy this is what you get you get palsy in the head at 22 years of age good to see you again somebody said you were in england and you performed for i mean i mentioned them in the monologue princess die and charles are they are right they look they're very well they look happy really we're like this you know you see big ears on someone like that down the south they usually have a banjo [Music] i guess i'm not going back to england how gutsy were you now would you don't do that joke no would i do that there while he's sitting then end up in the tower of london with a large man named bubba hello you're my friend now wow look at the band how are you doing thank you voice in the band thank our lovely evening uh it's great to be out this christmas i think are you just you get to happy christmas people get stressed out no really driving isn't bad merry christmas yeah i told you i saw it it's great to walk into a store and see little jewish ladies like ninjas where their purse is like come back i saw that back cuban little candy cane for the hypoglycemic children thank you daddy [Applause] [Music] [Applause] there's some exciting christmas gifts uh they have the jessica hondol doesn't do anything just falls over and goes maybe you did it thank you thank you guess jim and tammy live near you in melbourne you would say rented a house out in alabama jim and tammy i love you her eyelashes have been declared a national forest thank you thank you do you believe send money and he has mike douglas's old hair and it's amazing all the money they make though people in the vatican are going don't tell anybody when you think there's a polish pope with two names and people in the deep south are going hey why can't we have a pope from tennessee then his name's pope john paul we'll have a pope named pope joe john james there it is now here's that have a guy named newton next to him cardinal bubba how are you doing you know instead of wine and wafers we're gonna have jack daniels and beer nuts yes indeed [Applause] [Music] are you lonesome tonight do you miss me tonight are you sorry we drifted upon does your memory stray to a bright summer day when i kissed you and called you sweetheart do the chairs in your parlor seem empty [Music] is with pain shall i call back again tell me dear are you lonesome tonight you know i wonder if you'll loan some tonight i'm under a lot of things like are you human how do you live with yourself are you a reptile with a nice hairdo you snakey trap you lie to me and you told me you love me you never love me he said forever remember that one oh there's a joke forever yeah forever honey yeah what does forever mean to you till another guy comes in your life with more money and a better car i'm sorry we better break up i'm not growing as a person we need to get away from each other oh that was a great idea yeah let's break up honey did you grow any [Music] uh but i'd rather go on here in your lives without you that's how sick i am well i'm standing here the stage is bare oh i can't i can't say it you know what you did you know what you did you were wrong say it you stupid stubborn pig i was wrong [Music] [Applause] [Music] shall i call back again [Music] tell me dear are you lonesome tonight i hope [Music] ugh [Applause] that really brings a tear to your eyes that's what that's what love is all about you know you know the funny thing is you know there's like seven girls out there right now that think i'm talking directly to them every one of them's gone i know it's me i know he's singing that to me sam you are deeply disturbed [Music] you know when somebody brought me that tape i'll be honest with you i sat there and it started always it sounded like a young presley and then all of a sudden you went into this uh thing in the middle and i fell off the couch again you have a really good voice i'm not joking well i um where'd you learn where'd you used i used to sing in church hard to believe that was back there before the big satellite boom that uh and uh my parents used to make me sing but uh we were goofing around you learn in church yeah yeah i used to i used to be a preacher before that president of your own country sam what what kind of preaching were you a fundamentalist holy roller type of stuff or what yeah pentecostal yes holy roller uh you know we were like we're like baptist except we could get out of our seats roll around the floor so i guess holy rollers are pretty close if you were doing um if you were doing some preaching and this was our this was your congregation yeah what would you oh it was very fire it was very uh i don't know about you but when i woke up this morning somebody told me you don't have to lose you don't have to be defeated you can change your life [Music] [Applause] you're here oh yeah guys guys would see and stuff just from the excitement i think i see something's going on here yeah it is almost hypnosis isn't it yeah i guess why did you give that up i mean uh well [Music] i got a divorce when i was uh i got miranda's 21 to a lovely girl that i'm sure is watching thinks she's one of the seven and uh that's pretty young to get married yeah yeah it was a dumb no yeah and uh this didn't work out no no i know i know that when you were strange things to you but yeah you will learn great sam you will learn um 21's pretty young to get married was she young yeah she was young she was just 19. yeah not show business owners no no uh it's you're very hard to say some of the things you'd like to say you know within reason within reason yeah she but uh i was 23 and i've been ministering for about five years and it wasn't a good thing to have your spiritual resume yeah the marriage hadn't worked out and i got disillusioned and i said hey it's time to go into comedy yeah did you uh yeah nice so people expect me to say i woke up one day they forget the bible where's the party [Applause] did you did you try it again did you try marriage again oh you're gonna ask that one uh yeah yeah i did so you're married now no i just got divorced i just got divorced though we actually separated in 82 and we just now got around to getting divorce what and she hired uh she hired marvin mitchelson i'm a bigger fan of your work now man you're the best this guy deadly you never had to go up against him didn't you oh no i don't think so well you want to remember it i wouldn't thank you your little rattle has changed too much but those are those are painful things to go through seven years man painful seven years like i was like i know i know she didn't know i was going to make it it wasn't that yeah i was like yeah i'm just going to hold out to you're on the cover rolling stone and then i'll find i know it wasn't there i was like how did she hold her for seven years luckily there's no bitterness though well i gotta say the best thing the best thing about being married is that it keeps you from getting married that's true that's the best thing so you're going to wait a while until you try this again brother band would like that yes i'm going to wait a while i'm living with two sisters now oh that's good that's good so so career-wise things are going good huh um it's it's yeah it's been it's been an interesting year you're an interesting guy now that stuff i saw on the tape was so hysterical but it's tough to do some of it it's very it's adult stuff but it's difficult to transfer that to commercial tv isn't it yeah and i've seen a lot of people trying to you know a lot of the comics lately trying to be even more and more vulgar and profane so i thought why not in the middle of all this turn around try to do some family entertainment like i just did you know melissa said the whole family that's right very

Channel: StecStudios

Views: 2,236,523

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Id: SMTUOTFB8bU

Length: 50min 40sec (3040 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 11 2021