HBO Comedy Hour - An All-Star Toast to the Improv - 1/30/1988

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ah [Music] welcome to an all-star toast to the improv soaring Billy Crystal Richard Lewis Martin Mull Paul Rodriguez and Robin Williams and now live from the improv in Los Angeles your host Robert Klein [Applause] [Music] [Music] why you're almost very kind I'd like to thank the technical crew for the correct height estimation of the microphone totally cooked every Elise quiz what's his name from the Pat McCormack probably knows it from Fantasy Island was going to be hosting but actually I'm not that welcome to the improvisation what are we doing here tonight we're earning a living to begin with and Budd Friedman isn't doing badly either the owner of this establishment we're live god forbid winning we get so nervous about that the improvisation for those of you that don't know out there is an institution that began many many years ago first in Hell's Kitchen now in Hollywood which so many comedians started myself included we're happy to pay tribute here to the improvisation which was a home for us and Budd Friedman who is the prior to here who began in real estate he was the person on the television seminars you know you have no cash you purchased a hotel now you have to leverage the hotel against the money you don't have which you didn't have to begin with that make sure you have no money you purchased two apartment buildings with the hotel you don't know then you buy the city of Cleveland which you can get in a government auction the booklet page 412 and you go to the penitentiary and you purchase your cell and you begin the business in the penitential you get out what Friedman has been attempting to give beautiful girls the Heimlich maneuver for 15 years also invented a new aspect of life-saving mouth to genital resuscitation which we saw who just to marry Morgan McBride you Oh number one anyway the one thing that hasn't changed my many years of The Improv is the men's room which looks exactly and on a very suspect even when they fix everything else up they left out this kind of place you put paper on the knob when you go in you know flush with your foot like a surgeon everyone looks like when they're coming out you open the door with your ass antenna also Louie the chef the temperamental Latin people about be like you know what is it then people get very cranky at 110 Fahrenheit and because the waitresses by what their order is you know chicken salad you got now you son of a bitch hamburgers come here I kick your ass you know all of all these wedges of course our aspiring actresses let's get on with the proceedings here we have a wonderful all-star cast colleagues so it's a privilege to share the stage with and all the people are very very comfortable in the fact that they'll be sitting behind their colleague when they're working her 145 pound the University to Wichita Richard Lewis Richard law from the University of Appleton Wisconsin ferry trips over [Applause] oh really mom [Applause] [Music] eleven William [Applause] [Music] no no my first our first you get home from shul tell me Jen even got to go to a club hey park the BMW over there anyway she's my slut you know sorry I French comedian started worrying here and what when the club star I gotta go now continue to worry one of the most erotic man in the world like Richard Louis you take this mouth [Applause] thank you but it wasn't a little gruff can I just have a bypass operation before I go on great to be here I don't feel well I'm sweating I had chest pain but down I'm in a good mood chest pains are good for me and I had a good night's sleep and yet no rest that's why if you've already had billing about being here I'll tell you right now I'm excited about being here I just but Freedman I started here and he was a did a great guy he start a lot of comments don't we know this and I feel for you but I'm sad that Sophie Tucker and King Beto could be here tonight it's not a cheap guy I started out there was no not too much bread going on you know yet he had a house ketchup which wasn't too exciting for me and and he a little check twelve dollars to going on and in the club The Improv check had a picture of Flip Wilson a mechanical bull waving at everybody and then I did about a hundred thousand shows The Improv yet I get phone calls 4:00 in the morning I'm opening a new improv it's in Venice called the Chuckle chapel you gotta open up in it but he's not like a mobster he took of men she guy nice guy you know the worst thing ever did he threatened to break my therapist legs I was upset about that and why am i shrink called me what'd she call me I'm here with my friends my all-star friends here and yes she called me my ex shrink amount of therapy now she called me she apparently she was apologetic she made a couple of they're some kind of mistakes a couple years ago she's recalling your clients from 1985 I'm not mocking hard but I'm not going to go back I always felt paranoid they wished she was trying to help me behind my back I didn't like that you know shrinks are the greatest you know I mean look what a gig that is I mean comedy is a bitch quite frankly but to be a shrink to be on a honeymoon 4 a.m. in Paris first time married to get a call from client hi I'm sorry doctor I had to call you Jeffrey's making that Caesar salad again that's frightening but yeah I'm not a wacko I'm a comic I'm not a wacko no he's a wacko I'll say right now Michael Jackson here it is Michael Jackson not a wacko I don't mean not in the wacko sense but yes he's a brilliant man and yet did he have to spend $100,000 for the Elephant Man bones I'll tell you right now Kunie just like a fucking half stick ball back and I'm collar bread that would have been here fuckin half sari time to divide oh please [Applause] [Music] right here only triangle colors for the poor team analyst only five more dollars we need to make who else who else is crazy well uh I feel like a breakup was a Freudian slip and look what you know I feel like doing a talent show at a mental institution right here it's the Christmas show okay you're the psycho you haven't you have multi personalities will do you'll be Santa Claus I'll be Scrooge and I kind of thing but I mean like I was doing a film last year and I was on watching a conjugate that's crazy people lying a niche away from the TV screen I'm sorry I'm sorry that's wacko I'm neurotic that that's wacko to me the whole political thing I mean they lied right to our faces I mean it was like it's like 30 years of guys like in the you know a maple syrup industry and a guy would say did you load em here the name and show my mind well that rings a bell I'm not quite sure right now and a couple or you know I kind of think my mother calls me but she called me for a big gig like this before 6:00 in the morning any calls before 6 a.m. to me I don't mean to project negativity but to me before 6 a.m. doesn't a family does no family it's unfair climb out how I just hi is everything wrong it's mushy peas I already scored New Year's Eve I sent with a family back in Jersey we sat around midnight we watched our hopes drop you know and midnight it was Christmastime Hanukkah time you know and I'm not when I deeply relieve my mother this is frightening she has a menorah on a dimmer which is sort of appliances we have little toe on mistletoe from hell you know he's supposed to kiss and yet one of my uncle's died on Christmas about 30 years ago it's got a black armband around the mistletoe there so we had to kiss and weep kissing we were the same time and I went to her house with a frightening thing she was in a predominantly anxious section of town back in New Jersey and my address was 283 up shits Creek was an Ahmadiyya her house stills the same sort of exposed brick and nervous the house there I go inside the gifts from hell I'll tell you right now she bought me she bought me a dead relatives metronome which sort of frightened he was going to uh I was a great thing I got a remote control wailing whoa which is cool I can I could mourn and weep in any room in the house which bill is very important but hey what's the first difference want me to have your help boys you have your help don't I mean must I be funny hey hey okay I'll see you there whatever again you wanna keep what Eve again I wish you happy well Valentine's Day is coming up now here right now and PEG peg Peggy no no I'm not ready I'm ready just forget it I can't I'm not gonna take it okay I just want to be good I want to feel good I want to feel good about myself I just feel like broke up with this woman I wish you well all I know is she was an actress from hell shit look I'm gonna see I'm not a positive guy she had lithium which is a major drug and yet before lithium was like I want to go to a carnival or dig got broken festival it's not a kind of a kind of thing you know is it through a Baba hey I wish Baba's well you know that but I'm into therapy when I'm crying she goes we can't cry now because you're the wheat you're the whole wheat raisin bread like you know is a frightening situation and or I'll tell you right now sex went into the toilet I feel that sex should be a key to a relationship I know you feel that I know you both feel that but we went home yes yes yes if I right am I wrong huh that looks like yeah but we've never did they start yes yeah big bang harvest of a lesser God Victor yes but we were headed to an orgasm yes you can applause that the Great Island with the Great Island I wasn't saying keep with the girl thing it's okay I'll go with that right now but I was head to an orgasm custody battle I'll tell you right now and I mean we made love you know she put an armrest in the middle of bed I wasn't frightened about how just she's got intercourse is one of her pet peeves I wasn't thrilled about that or not while we're making love she did a breast examination I feel that was not good you know and first control Hey I'm sorry I know it's not fair for women to use all those things but all these contraptions from France latecha Smith those kind of things you know but wait I'm paraná what do you use it you threw salt over a shoulders I wasn't thrilled about that I said I don't why Evan flow evidence lore when they are in Sullivan in 65 the ebb and flow I have 1968 I had my period ship CA and yet the aurora borealis is over here and you have to with we just had on Thursday you know that and I know that it's frightening you want to feel good about yourself and I tell you right now sexually I feel sexy Zaki I feel like I'm not pointing at you it's a key it's a key and yet I just feel it I it wasn't wasn't good it wasn't good to his bad-mouthing me when we broke up she said she had to fake foreplay I wasn't thrilled about that you know and I gave her an anticlimax I wasn't happy about that you know kind of how to go to a penis awareness clinic which was horrified and how do you go out how do you date it's frightening I know what to do I just so you know I'm just I'm a hypochondriac and I just I know what the masturbation I say to myself can't I just be friends with myself it on I'm afraid I might give myself something it's a little fighting thing and but yeah hey aren't I going to tag you now don't I just want to sort of share the show now great to be here I'm going to come back soon I gotta just have some shock therapy out there and I'll be back and buds congratulations and yet I'm doing a Will Rogers on acid compression here for no reason but it's a thrill to be here to throw be with you guys and uh I see I have to tag now how do you end how do you end with these people here out of the house I call it do the host thank you very much for the pleasure [Applause] [Music] so young and so handsome in the water comes a hole in the ground and water for everybody how about some st. Joseph valium for children oh and some coffee for a little speedy man look up a port speedball luckily it has no effect anyway I'm going to tell you it's too handsome to have that kind of calm when I think of the old judge Robert please oh there you know just telling who you are get out you know I'm sorry we're men with men were male lesbian talk about it it's the Donahue show who's next you ain't are you this is one I just want to talk about one memory of the improv there's so many times social life from the improv so many waitresses and wonderful time there was the beautiful ventriloquist who moved her tits who during orgasm would say watch baby would you marry me and then would begin to talk about right you think I should change the puppet you people were very into their work our next our next performer is someone who I'd like to introduce you something would it make you proud because he's an old New York sports fan by imitating Bob Sheppard the announcer in Yankee Stadium right ladies and gentlemen welcome to Yankee Stadium [Laughter] number seven billion a crystal system [Applause] thank you [Music] thank you Bua great and yet I'm a frightened that we're all going to go home talking like that because it's infected you find that you want to say I was at the ballet pop and it's Martin Bormann I recognize the dental charts and we're doing we're doing adult IDO when Dulce don't and my rollers are in the trunk in the dog we had two same relatives though we did migrate unlikely I'm no we had they there's only one pair and they just send them to different houses and I was in my room my great grandparents will be making love it was my it was great that they're doing it I'm thrilled at 70 that I'll be able to even think about it but in the next room I could hear them the small talk was the greatest I mean is there any great list I'm so goddamn hungry now which ayahs are tell me I would deserve why am I playing the flawed with people in I'm so glad these schools I feel like a fucking dog act here honor jump through the hole the saddest thing in a world with the dog act on The Ed Sullivan Show I don't know how many of you I don't know I've had dogs not one of them likes it being a suit with sunglasses and shoes and go out on a date and walk on the - it's the walk of a dog is the saddest thing because they're walking - usually satin doll and the dog on a date come on farm you look at four keys come on go get your date set paint explosion you know that look but this Reagan's getting me nuts ha ha ha ha oh no way oh you gonna do and you want to like a white minstrel joke keep on with the done it keep on well you got those nice shoes then yes testers new shoes for white people look at this I've got no rhythm can't you tell I'm a rapper I'm a rapper oh yes I am Jewish cheerleaders Oh give me an A hey gimme an a gimme a hey what's that spell [Applause] [Music] Jewish mine boy this is small room e.g i'll walk against the wind a lot am i not to walk with the wind I'll get that best my wife a brain you know you got to be sixty to do sort of like a roast you've got to be one of those guys I'll tell you it's nuts they sell these video cassettes every place my wife comes home from the gynecology said buddy I got society cinema dates I said is it seriously said parts of it but the music is beautiful I tell you you gotta be that guy I'll be that guy I've written a lot of good things at The Improv it's a place a bit to gymnasium you can work out here it's good I've written a lot of things here right I wrote a thing about your burner doing the Babe Ruth story I thought it would be interesting lady he would have been a great Babe Ruth hey babe can hit a homer today yes I am [Laughter] I'm going to send the home plate and point out there this Chicago cop that got me not is the sick kid in Brooklyn I'm gonna be the single double triple attack that I said except that would be good that's where I found Fernando when I started doing the Fernando character it was because he was on my cable station have a terribly cheap cable stations called Bob's cable and it was Fernando Lamas and Death of a Salesman I thought this was the greatest thing I'd ever seen he came in oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy Linda are the boys home if you are a moody man but then you look marvelous but Roberto darling the woods are burning and I thought if you had to do something about this guy but this Reagan is getting me not so I forgot no I can't wait I'm just tired of drink about the : I'm sorry they're selling maps to the colon on Sunset Boulevard now they send cameras up the ass the same ones they used to explore the Titanic it's like you know 275 old wrecks were looking at and what's up there Geraldo Rivera I don't know what's in here we have no idea what's in here now with Gary Hart wind does that make Donna rice the first chick I would love Como to win I would love Cuomo to come out I really would we need to talk no we need a guy who sounds like Dzhokhar Tony I think that would be a great foot oh this Persian Gulf this time of year you know it gets all hot and stuff but when you got to go up to these guys what a towels on ahead and just go bomb right there right well I'm thrilled to be here but I've worked very hard in this club and it's really paid off thanks for giving me all the time and now I'm going to turn it over to back to Robert thank you for having me [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh wait paradox afraid Hunnicutt that I guess yeah he afraid you didn't mean to beat you in the head my round is it it rot will plug it you're still here well I'm gonna be afraid well rounded this look out he's waiting for you out there I'm sorry he punch you in the nipples it wasn't his fault why are they wearing rubber gloves what are they afraid of so be afraid you play never know what wound attend they put a beautiful girl with net stockings on in Vegas here's eight like this you know instead of putting your helmet on her ass where everyone's looking man you know well Michael Tyson who has this series on HBO comedy series Golden Spike it's the strongest branded next starts up here he beats the people senseless and I say how was the fight when he goes why they make the fight you know I threw some important functions I thought it's awesome I didn't really want to fight so I you know anyway the really good fight I'm in big shit now there was an excellent juxtaposition there the man is a tremendous brute and yet have the high voice did you get out right I got I got it a minute oh no he won't I haven't I live in 28 seconds there's no round I ride no what if I bothered me they lie to the corner these kids it's a maintenance man at the Sands Hotel in Atlantic City his friends came up from Atlantic City but Paulo Manolo from Philadelphia and four minutes later is in a coma with free neurologist smacking him around your hand Manoli little ceremony your hand I feel like jumping in I know you buy no matter of brings ahead you're about to be punched into a nectarine Manolo throw the towel in Manolo time I don't feel it boxing has affected me in boxing thank you very much [Applause] be a bit about myself now our next performer start all righty sorry Arnon sorry our next performer but seriously speaking actually worked in the kitchen here under Louie the chef learned as a pony out you wrote your rope to cook at you wrote your boat your bro [Applause] [Music] Hey oh thank you uh Richard Lewis my impression no say so are your keys and sand or fungal cream Amamiya more fellas okay guilt from other home no like this in my pan here we got no problems but all you need is a quaalude and a hooker in your step swindle and a hotel in order problems will go away gentlemen I'm the first Gentile of the night as you can see welcome I'm sitting there in the Gentile burner next school for those of you playing the home game Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason use the word simply also try the word miss sugar now later thank you to Gentile businessmen on the street hey how's business great we can just have some work on obscure Jewish preferences housing up get up oh oh well not do it oh that's no it's just going to comment it you are you're beyond white seriously I sort of guy he looks like Hitler's wet dream yeah I want them all to look like him oh how fast his hand was goofy hey Mike I don't like the speed of life yes applause I have an orgasm in another dimension over again you and banner why should have kids or build very dull boys or something like hey I don't know why I'm insulting him he's actually a good guy but hey this is what we're free we should insult him you're you're rich bastard like a kid but there's a thin line between comedy and working again I know but until you tell the truth back to the kitchen Paolo I'll be there in the kitchen with the rent of the illegals you are working unit you have a knife none of them and they got set incision I'm sure they're all from Arizona yeah they're going on tf1 dosing your booth are nice Dan actually I do have a real story but what three years ago you put me in a personal hey yes that safe ways better than Reagan drives me mad there was something a Segway right real sorry but that's a lot yeah your turn and I was worried about saying penis I'm sorry some people worry about their penis I think Reagan's got me not do you got Lena Reagan hey Fresnel okay president oh I'm sorry yeah Reagan does have me not say dhw good here he can't run again son of a bitch got more lives than a cat and I think Gorbachev didn't make him look bad because I don't trust this commie bastard right the press went crazy over Gorbachev I think he looks like Ed Asner but Corvis Gorbachev look looks like I don't trust this coming bastard you tell what's on his mind he's not like a map of South Vietnam on his head if you know he's got freckles and look like Afghanistan Nicaragua was in his pants I'm sure the song and all these people running for office uh Dukakis he's never gonna win with a name like that to contest his pastimes in any languages actually because in 12 is high on president Dukakis my wife diarrhea John Cornyn constipation but trust no you know here travel minima the truth no privately working Thanks three years ago but Friedman says Paul I'm starting this mariachi band as a control sample he says we're going to work in Fresno is going to be a great show we're there we went over there these are your people he tells me uh yeah I don't know where the hell they were from they weren't my people and and we drove over there I thought we're gonna fly but this it'll be a fun Drive there's no place to Fresno Paul I will have a good time the way back we stopped at mon-sol Mario's house I introduced by tomorrow Mario Mario says but Friedman but this is my uncle Mario uncle goes Friedman Ritalin you're a cute but it's also your otaku folder Paul in the corner we're going you're exaggerated my head a little bit that's what somebody is but it's an exaggeration carry me do you want me get the broom third okay I'll stand like it really no back yeah card or die Spanky you falling whenever you feel you can ruin what act I have a [Applause] pleasant of Hispanic comedian so God knows there's a lot of us but uh shit look at me do I look like a lottery winner or what that's that does way of paying us back okay we're not good at business but we win the goddamn lottery well I think okay she's not even buying tickets anymore they send the made controller here controller you go to the 7-eleven God has been swallowed by Canseco 70a weren't shut this last guy 125 million dollars the interview de Monte viously knows all Vera missile Rhetta what are you gonna do with the money goes well first I think I'll go to Magic Mountain then I'm like a dream come true for LA so I'm gonna go to thank you I'm gonna go to Kmart buy some jumper cables I was looking look at this set tell me the truth does this look like the gay love connection look at the server what happens when a decorator has a small budget and no imagination is like whoa is he here right now this is it squirt breaking into your house playing that fit these curtains are out of your paw that's it I'm putting up shit you'll never recognize leaving computer Allen records all over the place there you go just a few things for you mr. wonderful look Reagan trust me not calleb res no sir Fresno's I did but you know Roberto let's mention my clan house because this is the improvisation with with my clan knowledge life is like Prestwich flore he has above by the heartland he is above title billing now it's Budd Friedman los llanos yeah well you know something so made all something so high you say that in fact then we're even okay Oh forgive me me Florence you're giving me for us I don't need it come on I thought we were missing oh hey I don't think just about George people - thanks - but I want a career but hey I'm kind of pissed off as my sister is dating an Iranian like there's a shortage of Mexicans in Los Angeles yes she's dating a guy named I commit commit in this Emir are these the hairiest people got ever invented Iranians are he replaces monkeys don't next way you're the summer at the beach you go see them in at Venice it's like they were the smallest underwear big thick it's like brillo pad in there a hair go right through the nylons you look at and it looks like cactus fruit and I full resin look I'm not prejudiced you're my sister I want you to be happy if you love this man we should fight you know this man but they saw the future one day you're going to have kids you know I have met you can have Iranian that they're going to grow up their own and vandalize their own gas station I said you think about the truth but thanks but thanks for us thanks for working here not allowing me to work here at the improv it was a great place to get laid - can we just say that it seriously anything you want is waiting for your hide I saw your ad I never have one of your time nowadays it's great to the world it used to be fun nowadays death is such as a lethal like that I don't touch myself either I'm not playing I make your life of the healthy side box please all right no I'm a big fan but I just I have enough problems and I'm sorry I thought we were offering science thanks a lot oh that was affectionate and I was affectionate it really rose give me my knife I'm sorry oh you'll be doing it getting damaged what folks I'm not controlled thirty minutes ago by some fun [Music] whoa oh thank you mr. climbs all not yet mr. Friedman thank you for free and everybody Oh No you know that what's that often befall roosted the to drink minimum know how people coming in paying the drink walking around but then we're back with the greatest diet plan ever two hundred and fifty thousand strong every day and grow hey lemme see lemme I want you to blues I've lost seven hundred pounds I don't even know who they are you take your meat you move them over to check your carrots you move them over take your vegetables your bread you move them over the other side of the wallet then you eat the while at the end of the day and your protein you just forage for [Laughter] [Applause] well wow what an image anyway I read anything got me nuts in a rage in living in Fresno drives me completely nuts with my drink anyway the next player tonight and I can do actually do Phil Rizzuto them yeah holy cow you huckleberry Phil Rizzuto for the Money Store I deal with your feet when I was played it safe I do Isaac Newton who can check you know that's a sin then could be calculus you know there's always some idiots not like him at all yeah I do Elena Verdugo Marvin Kapoor feed people moving along I mean why everyone's making fun of the set it's very beautiful and I could see the negotiations already with bud trying to snore it from the production company but before they had a Woolworths brick wall back here that you know the Christmas it's made of plastic oh yeah yeah you're gonna love this your your gum toe yet going to make cantana we're with you anyway our next performer a dear friend of all of us actually just here because he likes smoke-filled rooms Martin Moe Marc thank you thank you thank you please sit down thank you you know before we go any further I [Laughter] wonder if we could all just take a moment here it's where your March of diamonds money goes ladies and gentlemen bless his heart what if we could all take a moment and think about how important this evening really is [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] Lance could see Suzanne silhouetted in the window above her diaphanous negligees straining against her swelling breast her tongue darting about her waiting lips like a flickering candle pump stop now dark and wet as the night itself yeah good evening ladies and gentlemen [Applause] tonight we are gathered here to pay tribute to a fully licensed restaurant but for countless tourists theatrical agents and children of the night it is more than just a place to eat it is more than just a building to get drunk in word is here on this very stage that many a confused and struggling young person wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk of life has stepped right into show business this mother staged suffering the suckling babes of comedy unto her bosom a man yes they all stood here and they all sucked but they learned and they grew to greatness right here is where Robin Williams tirelessly and deftly molded his otherwise debilitating social disorders into a seven-figure paycheck run here on this very stage I cannot you're welcome indeed here is where Paul Rodriquez discovered the mother lode of material to be found in ridiculing one's own people making him the envy of every non-latin performer in America lord knows I'd love to tell some jokes like you know how does the Mexican know when he's hungry his ass stops burning things like that I can't I can't do it that's your turf and I wouldn't step on it if there's a smart new mall here maybe a novel you can find it thank you again Robin and right here is where Billy Crystal first realized that he and Sammy Davis shared more than height and a common religion and right here is where he began the work of healing the wounds of ethnic diversity in this country with just a smile and a manager Billy pleasure and may I say thanks because you're giving me nachus and I want to take for you to say hi to the other boys from Brazil when you see them ha ha ha Georgia girl thanks and right here is where Richard Lewis perfected his Tony Danza meets Marian Lauren kind of delivery pretty damn unique and he also and also hear that he found out that there were dozens of people across America that could identify with and here's where Robert Klein rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed that spontaneity that would carry him to the Merv Griffin Show the silver screen and ultimately to cable good what Bob no it's the least I can do let me taste the water coming okay baby I'll take it out slow quite man bear I don't blame you Robin I blame the one that gave you the shot look Thank You Martin okay keeps you on your feet better than that terrible thing we saw backstage I don't like never I miss you I miss you thank you for calling though I've missed you okay thanks it was an evening who knew it was fun I guess the Great Dane remember I guess the look in that living room is a little more butch now that we did what we did it yeah I'm gonna have the idea for the steer horns to hold up the the curtains there I thought that was kind of nice I will actually I must confess that I personally have never performed here or at any comedy club for that matter so as a firm believer in capitalism in the minimum wage my professional hands were kind of tied but sorry I'm not suggesting that the performers at the improv go unpaid Oh contraire in fact on some occasions those checks can reach double digits if I'm not mistaken of course there are those who ask for no payment those who use the improv as a kind of a testing ground for new material sort of a comedy escrow for that hope for tonight's show shot right so where does the money go [Laughter] [Applause] now private Friedman is a man who has always strongly felt that being able to loosen up our neckties and smile at our troubles is worth at least a 650 cover a two-drink minimum let's say for instance that over a pleasant holiday weekend perhaps a thousand people might come through that front door to relax and have a chuckle or two we're talking sixty five hundred bucks right there not to mention the three or four thousand more from the bozos who take the two-drink minimum as a dare call it five grand a night will win now it seems obvious that given the neighborhood rent here could not be 150 thousand dollars a month yes according to mr. Friedman it's a break-even business how can this be well very easily I'm afraid first of all let's talk about the rising costs of competent interior decorating all of you settle back in your comfortable chair for a moment and look around you perhaps you can appreciate that this kind of luxury it doesn't come without a pretty price tag as well [Laughter] [Applause] save it for later he still has that rash now let's talk about the waiter persons here they can't be expected to survive on the 10% of their tips that mr. Friedman allows them to keep they have to be paid a salary and from the looks of their clothes it's a damned handsome one add that to the cost of a reliable found system state-of-the-art backstage facilities and it's easy to see how paying the performers here the going rate for human life as we know it could spell disaster now there is of course a part of me that feels very sad indeed that I am NOT an improv alumnus that I never had the fun of standing up here for over an hour asking hayseeds where they're from there's an unspeakable loneliness that I feel when I overhear other comics of my generation sharing memories of a waitress that had blown them both and of course the emptiness of never having stood on the sidewalk at midnight counting the house with a man they called bud but alas I work for money perhaps someday enough will be enough it's hard to say I have a figure in mind of course and if and when I reach it who knows maybe then I can work for free drinks in bus fare maybe then I can finally say a resounding yes to all those pinko bleeding hearts that badger me on a daily basis to perform at their little frigging fundraisers if that day comes then I shall begin right here we're in the art of performing for chump money on the beloved stage of The Improv feeling the warm gently guiding hand of Budd Friedman so close behind me a crazy dream perhaps so but if the dream that I retain in a very special part of my body so but all I can say is keep up the good work and long live The Improv and for you folks watching at home when we just add that if you've never spent an evening at the improv you won't know what you're missing but if you do you'll know why everyone says that Budd Friedman is too comedy what a stewardess is to the woman's movement [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] unfortunately before you make those comments I don't think you realize that but is a Korean War hero which is oh my goodness took some shrapnel and pork chop hill could we won that one didn't we did not only there was a tie but look what his wall he opened up a comedy club in Pyongyang originally I got a North Korean that juggled bullets with his kids couldn't tell his mother it was a pork chop hill cause she didn't eat pork chops let me relate to your making it leave it alone just leave them alone I'm laughing why I appreciated it we used to work in the subway before we went to the Abraham Army's Ingrid give me a dollar embarrass the shit out of our final performer is a shy man and has a very strong affinity for Jonathan winters whose work he continues in Jonathan's semi-retirement Robin Williams [Applause] [Music] thank you thank you for what you've said have the courage to say that wear those glasses thank you Volare sail along with receiving the lester maddox achievement award this year Martin Amal for his work in achieving racial integrity the first a few words from Jimmy the Greek you know people look at Jimmy the Greek and say my god how can he play those damn plane you give Gandhi five cocktail to come up with the same shit okay even Gandhi would be in a bar going there fast what can I say god dammit I class and get bigger than I am hey if I could be Baba I would what damn it garlic am i love this thank you for wearing this Russian sailor hat thank you look at this thing it looks like a hold on him they could obviously no I just want to meet a woman for something special I bring pins I'm not afraid of sick I thank you for wearing it what about look at this sweater look at this obviously someone took the mescaline and said I'll knit okay [Music] [Applause] look at you thank you for wearing their some man went blind st. fuck it just get another job Oh detective this way great sweat the sacred I'm yes I'm Dyslexic I'm not afraid to say it I was a kid at Halloween going high ticket route I look around and people getting afraid to go home man man he's coming towards my table oh how you doing my god I didn't I thought you're still in Congress I saw your that look like you're going to go on anytime mr. north did you realize we had did you realize we had your balls in a plane at any time mr. north and there was old Ollie ollie up there looking kind of like you know he took him right hand to go up pardon me senator may have a moment before I respond to the question no miss MacFarlane would you like to answer the question I don't even know where I am Pawel that Reagan I'll tell you that Reagan what in there Oliver North he's up on the sand olya Destin was where the strawberries are strawberries I never know mother strawberry amend him like me I didn't like the men I want more height from you at past the holidays more height look at you look at you yes yes somewhere there's an animal going fucking take it go not for I told you to I found these things on the freeway I sold them together you know there's a little possums out there running around Pepperidge Farm put them in a do it cross look around how are you doing there look at you in a tuxedo on a cowboy you just have a big ol thing you have a big truck outside this is outbreak for inside so you're the type of man you could step in his own shit and go it's mine yes indeed lord have mercy third love here in Hollywood tonight that's why I come here to the improv cuz I don't have an act to me that means something involved but being jerked off a lot of people at once why a guy I'm sorry I don't have an act life good I I did at one time and but now know what why do you look at me like we did something you look at me like I'm sorry I didn't know I keep wearing this it looks like graph paper I don't know this is nice on a night when they keep you all fully lit you'll have this look like he's gonna talk to me I don't know I like coming here because for me it's fabulous you know tomorrow is the Super Bowl I want to see large men hurting each other yeah I want to see maybe they should have some fashion consoler for the Super Bowl going this time when they go into the bowl I want every time someone is tackled some clothing comes off so by the end everyone's in a hundred going to check it out then all of a sudden a hundred like a lazy susan alright alright I'm sorry I offended you obviously a football pangong don't ever do that again don't make fun a large man I'm sorry now the Gospel according to Bubba yeah though they do have big thighs they shall run another shell block but they have no neck and God did look down he said who shall own the team and he said let there be white Medina fans on the dance for no reason thank you what are you drinking here son what did you buy a little woman tonight oh sorry it's all over you feels like a bad restaurant around ray that's all the waiters in Hollywood are going listen I'm an actor fuck it I don't know why I'm serving you chicken champagne Maria Schendel god I remember this drink a few bottles of this wake up Newton over to my car that was fun both of the old days remember but when there be 15 guys the men's room in that one stall going how you doing yes there's like Barnum & Bailey Circus in Colombia hey nice Oh night Oh night Oh and that cocaine will croak good to to think this was cobbled anything memory for those who passed us now I remember when I came here I feel like we should be reminiscing I remember there was blood Freeman sitting by the door before this used to be a leather bar I came down here from San Francisco I remember I walked in night I used to play in clubs in San Francisco like in Berkeley where most people in wheelchairs they couldn't laugh you just heard if they really like to that Pappa wheelie like II oh you're a good comedy but sometimes I draw I work in a place there's another place in San Francisco called the intersection coffee house would that have comedy after lesbian poetry I know you shouldn't a lesbian I'm sorry I won't say lesbian women and comfortable shoes okay a lot of women named Betty's would like to talk to you now when X when I came down here because I thought Samuels and cones are going to LA yes I feel like that let's go to LA that's where it is and I land on Hollywood Boulevard it junkies and pimps and whores a lot yeah it's like Dorothy on acid this is what it's about and there's buzz like it was involved going though behind that curtain you go come into this club nah her brief woman can I use the word Mickey is that okay yeah after you this he's up there man she's up there man it's like an unspoken thing playing it I'll explain it bubble I'll tell him it's like up there on Sunset Boulevard is another place a different place far away from here it's another place I'll say the word it's okay but you made a lot tonight it's okay cause the Comedy Store and sometimes people cross over and then they can never go back I just want to say maybe one day you enlist you will sit down in a room like Reagan and Gorbachev but without the funny stuff on the head and they'll be P and one day they'll be just one club called the conurbation Salvi where everyone will gather down and we'll eat lots for no reason and you'll have her hair and you'll have your hair that'll be so juicy on too far god yes fun make it happen in our lifetime what is open up every place she said oh there's money for everybody can't you see what North you're like Gandhi and a delicatessen going who had the fish but that's my dream call me fucking crazy call me fucking wild look at these people up here all of us look look at this man in a boat ride that's a bullet I in it that's what people were actually brain dead ago yes this all get put it on like that that's quite a yeah but I got to go I got to go back up to San Francisco there it is amazing up there you see people dressed like a cowboy and you're going no and I know a paul talked about Paul's over here of opportunity Paul talked briefly about that but hey sex is a little scary unless you're going to live like with maybe if you're really afraid you've got to buy one of those rubber dolls and go hi mom this is michl in forever I love you I got it let pulling me up like saying my friend and live Robin Williams [Applause] [Music] [Applause] beautycounter people hold on [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Info

Channel: STL VHS Vault

Views: 318,036

Rating: 4.6666665 out of 5

Keywords: hbo, comedy, improv, robert klein, paul rodriguez, robin williams, martin mull, richard lewis, billy chrystal

Id: O_kYuxP2pLA

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 59min 25sec (3565 seconds)

Published: Mon May 29 2017

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